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Mb limy lies. THENTON. GEOIiQIA. i Belgium is as convenient to political offenders of France, as Canada is to the boodlers of our land. j Not bmg is more apparent at the pres ent juncture, states the New York Graphic, than that the Italians are stag gering under quite as heavy a load of taxation as they are able to hear. It is estimated that the value o* the kind contained in Central Park,New York city, which originally cost #0,500,000, is now worth, at least, over #100,000,000. The maintenance of the Park costs nearly #400,000 a year. I Japan is now a constitutional mon archy. Its progress toward liberal gov ernment has been by gigantic strides. The total cost of the Paris Exposition is expected to be $10,000,000. The Government contributes the greater part and the city of Paris most of the rest. Senator Stanford, of California, offered #55,000 for Kentucky Prince, and this, according to the Spirit of the Times, was the largest sum ever offered for a horse, but it was refused. In Toronto, Canada, through the ef forts of the Humane Society, a work of humane literature, compiled by the So tiety, has been adopted as a text book in the public schools. e v It is significant, thinks the Londor Newt, that the Germans have recently thought it worth their while to detail tc their American legation a “technical at tache,” with the prescribed duty ol watching the new experiments in imple ments and means of warfare. —- i Thomas Swing Sherman, the only son of General Sherman, now studying at Georgetown College, District of Colum bia, will be ordained a Jesuit this summer. He launched out into the fashionable life of a young of his station, but suddenly retired from the social world to enter upon a clerical career. ' ‘l* there any crime, outrage or brutality in this world that a woman won't forgive in the man she loves?” asks the New York Kail and tkepres*. “Here’s Mrs. Bohan, the poor creature whose brute of a hus band coolly gouged out both her eyes last fall, visiting and caressing him in the prison to which he was sent for his mutila tion of her.” Statistics, Miss Knatchbull-Hugessen «ays, have been recently collected as to the health of women university students ifter leaving college in England, and in particular those who have married. The results fully bear -out the conclusion of 9ir William Gull as to the advantage of thorough intellectual training for girls, even from a medical point of view. Daniel A. Loring owns more stock gambling “bucket shops,” asserts the New York Graphic , than any other man in this country. He has about 200 scat tered in different parts of tlio United States, and his telegraph bill annually is $300,000. He is a great believer in reaj estate and invests most of his profits in good New York property. Personally he is youthful in appearance, with a smoothly ihaven face, a clear blue eye and ruddy complexion. The New York Commercial Advertiser states that at Rondout-on-the-Hudson a man died, leaving a property valued at S2OOO. This was partly mortgaged. The mortgage and costs involved amounted to $1999, thus leaving but $1 to be divided among the widow and fourteen heirs. The widow will, however, have only the use of this dollar during her lifetime, and must leave it to her heirs at her death. There were twenty-two defendants in this interesting case. It is a curious outcome of what ap peared at one time a bellicose situation m the Samoan waters, moralizes the Chicago Timet, that the elements rise up ard drive the warships of Germany and America upon the rocks,destroying them. They encountered a force in nature more powerful than either of them and sinking into the yeast of waves are seen no more. It was an appalling disaster. The En glish, with their usual good luck at sea, were not sufferers. It would aeem, remarks the New York News, that in the Spanish Cortes at Mad rid the question of selling Cuba has been, if not discussed, at least referred to, as otherwise there would be r.o cause for the emphatic declaration of the Spanish Minister of the Interior, that “Spain would never consent to sell Cuba to the United States or any other country” and that there was not wealth enough in the whole universe to buy even the smallest portion of the Spanish territory.” SIXTY AND SIX. Light of the morning, * Darling of dawning, Mlthe little, lithe little daughter of mine I While with thee ranging Sure I’m exchanging lixty of my years for six years like thine. Wings cannot vie with the©, Lightly I fly with thee, say as the thistle down over the lea; Life is all magic, Comic or tragic, “layed as thou playest it daily with me. Floating and ringing Thy merry singing Comes when the light comes, liko that of the birds. List to the play of it! That is the way of it; \Jl’s in the music and naught in the words— Glad or grief-laden, Schubert or Haydn, Ballad of Erin or merry Scotch lay, Like an evangel Some baby angel Brought from sky-nursery stealing away Surely I know it, Artist nor poet Buesses my treasure of jubilant hours. Sorrows, what are they? Nearer, or far, they Vanish in sunshine, like dew from the flowers. Years, I am glad of them! Would that I had of them More and yet more, while thus mingled with thine. Age, I make light of it! Fear not the sight of it, Time’s but our playmate, whose toys are divine. —Thomas W. Higginson, in The Century. THE STOLEN LETTER. BY HELEN FORREST GRAVES. “You are very foolish to think of it at all,” said Miss Antonina Blodgett. Miss Blodgett was trimming her hat with a bunch of artificial honeysuckles. The spring fashions were in, and Miss Blodgett had no idea of being called a dowdy. She was a handsome, high-col ored girl, with hair arranged in the very latest style, rhinestones screwed into her ears, and two or three different colored rings on her plump fingers, and she hummed the refrain of the latest opera bouffe as she sat there waiting for the tea bell to ring. Madeline Murray had just come in from school. The children had been unusually troublesome that day. Four obstinate, bullet-headed little lads had stolidly re fused to capitulate, on the subject of the multiplication table, until four o’clock; and then there were the copy-books to be gathered up, the object lessons for the morrow to be glanced over, and the weekly report to be carried in to the vice principal. “I am afraid,"Miss Murray,” he had said to her, “that your dicipliue is hardly what it ought to be. Noue of the other teachers have trouble with their chil dren.” “None of the other teachers have such a bad class as mine,” instinctively re torted poor Madeline. But tnc vice-principal had only frowned, and muttered something about “excuses being convenient.” And Madeline had dragged herself home, with a headache that seemed like red-hot needles tingling at the base of her brain, and a heart full of despond ency, for she knew well that Mr. Double day, the vice-principal, had a sister who was eagerly awaiting the first vacancy to become herself a teacher. At home she had found a letter from an old grand aunt awaiting her. “I don’t know whether you're tired of try ing that experiment of city life,” wrote Aunt Eunice, after a peculiar orthography of her own. “out I should think you might be by this time. Lois Ann is married, and I need somebody to help me with the housework. If you choose to come back to the farm, I’ll pay a dollar and a half a week, just the same as I paid Lois Ann, and give you a good home. And it is an offer I shall not make twice.” Madeline looked wistfully at the let ter. Go back to the shrill sound of Aunt Eunice's voice, the dreary drudgery of washing and ironing, baking, soft soap making and cellar scrubbing—go back to the old existence from which she had been so anxious to escape? Would it not be a tacit admission that life for her had been a failure? 'iet, on the other hand, there was the vice-principal’s persistent disapproval— the sister only waiting a chance to edge herself in as a teacw.T—the headaches and the utter disheartenmeut. “You'll never have a chance to get married,” said Miss Blodgett, “if you bury yourself alive in the country like that.” “I do not think I shall ever marry,” said Madeline, sadly. “Why not?” said fair Antonina. “There isn’t much style about you, to be sure, but there are always plenty of opportuni ties in such a place as this.” For Miss Blodgett’s sister-in-law—a shrill-voiced widow, with a tomahawk shaped nose and a cap invariably slipped to one side—kept the boarding-house, and it was full of eligible boarders; and not a gentleman sat down to the table for whom Miss Antonina had not, at one time or other, “set her cap.” She was like a gaudy double tulip— Madeline Murray like one of the slender stemmed violets that only blossoms in the shade, but are ineffably sweet. “I am almost discouraged,” said Made line, in a low voice. “Oh. well, do as you please,” said Miss Blodgett, remembering, as she spoke, that if blue-eyed Madeline were gone, she would have no rival in the eyes of Mr. Avenel, the young lawyer, who sat op posite them at table. Madeline was very silent this evening. Miss Blodgett talked and laughed with unusual volubility. Mr. Avenel, a black-haired, straight featured man, with pleasant hazel eyes, watched them both with unusual taciturn ity. “Shall I,” he asked himself, as the shuffling waiter muttered the various items of dessert into his ear, “or shall I not? Have I known her long enough? Has she given me any right to hope for such a blessing? Shall I, or shall I not?” And the waiter brought him, in de spair of any definite order, a plate of dyspeptic-looking rice pudding, dotted over with fat black raisins. It was almost as difficult for Mr. i Avenel to make up his mind as it had been for Madeline Murray this dreary March night. On the next Monday afternoon one of the round-eyed little school-boys ran after her, crying out; “Teacher—teacher! here’s a letter for you! Hold on a minute, teacher! Wait!” “Nonsensel” said Madeline, sharply. She had had four different labels at tached to her gown that day; her lunch basket had had its contents extracted and replaced with shavings; the “Key to Al gebra” had been skillfully substituted for “First Lessons in Grammar,” and num berless other facetious jokes had been played on her by those young lambs, her scholars, and she was in no mood for any more impositions. “Gen’lenmn told me to give it to you!” breathlessly uttered the boy. “He gimme a dime, he did!” But Madeline slipped past him into the house, taking advantage of the door be ing just then opened by Miss Blodgett, in all the glories of a cheap summer silk and the bonnet newly quivering with honeysuckles. “Boy!” said Miss Blodgett, severely, “what are you doing here? None of your April-fool jokes in this house, unless you want me to send for a policeman.” “I ain’t a-April fooling!” said the boy, with an injured voice. “It’s a letter for her—for teacher.” “Who is it from?” said Miss Blodgett, who was not without her fair share of Madam Eve’s inheritance. “A gen’leman,” said the boy. “He gimme a silver dime, he did!” “Let me look at it,” said Miss Blod gett ; and in an instant she recognized the straight, clear handwriting of John Avenel. “Oh, yes, I see! I’ll take charge of it, young man.” “Will you be sure teacher gets it?” eagerly panted the lad. “ ’Cause he gimme a—” “It’s all right,” said Miss Blodgott, turning back into the house and running hurriedly up to her own room. “There must be a fate in it,” said she, untying the new, rustling bonnet-strings. “I wonder what he can* possibly have to say to her? I’ll just hold the letter over the tea-kettle spout for a minute—it’s easy sealed up again—and if it should be nothing but an April-fool—” She giggled nervously as she stole down into the kitchen to borrow' a kettle of boiling water. But it was no April fool missive. It was a simple, straightforward declaration of love—a laying of Mr. Avenel's heart and hand at Madeline Murray’s feet. “If you care for me,” he wrote, “come down to the parlor to-night. I shall be wait ing there, more anxiously than I can tell you. If you do not come, I shall never utter a word of reproach to you. You have a right to your own decision.” Miss Blodgett read the letter. She gnawed her full, and took her resolution in of an eye. She put away her showy walking gar ments, assumed a wrapper, and deluged her forehead with cologne. And then she sent for Miss Murray to come with hq£l much magnetism in your touch, she said. “If you will only sit by me and stroke my head—” And gentle Madeline, all unconscious of the black treachery in Antonina's heart, was only too glad to be of use. Mr. Avenel was unwontedly pale when he came to the breakfast-table the next day. Madeline glanced timidly at him, but ventured to say nothing but the merest “Good morning?” Antonina, horvever, followed him out into the hall when the meal was over. “Forgive me, Mr. Avenel,” said she, in her sweetest voice; 1 ‘but I cannot with hold my sympathy for the cruel way in which you have been treated, t couldn't have believed it of Madeline Murray!” He turned quickly around. “You know all about it, then?” said he. “I told her it was wrong to laugh at you. Oh, Mr. Avenel, do not look stern/ There are other women in the world be sides Madeline Murray. Oh, if such a treasure had been offered to me—” She stopped abruptly, and hung down her head, with a pretty affectation of con fusion. “Pray do not distress yourself,” said Avenel, coldly. “I am sorry that I have an imperative engagement this morning.” He bowed, and hastened up stairs. Antonina looked after him with an oblique light in her bold, handsome eyes. ‘ ‘I was a little premature,” she thought. “But no matter. He can’t fling back my sympathy—and time will work v/on ders. I shall be Mrs. Avenel yet.” And she sauntered into the drawing room to finish yesterday’s dog’s-eared novel. For Miss Blodgett was by far too fine a lady to work for her living. As John Avenel stepped out into the fresh air, ten minutes or so later, he found himself close alongside of Miss Murray. She was looking unusually pretty, in her simple straw hat and close-fitting jacket; her blue eyes brightened, and a tide of warm color mounted into her cheek. “Oh, Mr. Avenel,” said she, “I am so glad to see you!” “Are you?” “You see,” said Madeline, shyly, “I want to ask your advice.” “Indeed!” She looked at him with a startled air. “What have I done to offend you?” said she. “What have I done that is wTong?” “Nothing at all,” he answered, be thinking himself of his obligations as a gentleman. “You know that I told you you had a right to decide for yourself, Miss Murray.” “You told me?” lifting her pretty eyebrows. “In my letter,” he explained rather coldly. “What letter?” “Did you not receive a letter from me yesterday?” he asked in some surprise. “No, I certainly did not.” * ! “That is very strange,” said Avnnel. “I gave it to Tommy Dixon to give to you, and— ' Madeline uttered a little cry of despair. “It’s the very letter,” she cried. “Tommy ran after me with it, and I wouldn’t take it, because I thought it was one of his horrid, teasing, little April fool tricks. Oh, what a fool I was! And an April one, too!” she added, curiously balancing on the boundary lin« between smiles and tears. “Then you didn’t read it?” “How could I, when I never got it?” ‘’‘Shall I tell you what was inside?” he asked, holding both her little trembling hands in his. “Yes, please do,” she murmured, knowing by some strange intuition just what was coming next,and already color ing like a rose. “Just this, Madeline. I love you. Will you be my wife?” “And—and do you want me to answer it?” “Most assuredly I do.” “Then—yes!” . “My own dear little girl! No, you must not go on to the public school. You do not belong to the public school any longer; you belong to be. Let me walk back to the house with you, for— Just at this moment, however, a red faced, panting maid servant, with an apron thrown over her head, met them on the steps, holding something white in her hand. “Miss Murray! Miss Murray!” she cried, “I’ve got it for you. I knowed I could if only I waited long enough. “Got what, Rosy?” said perplexed Madeline. “The letter as was writ to you, Miss Murray—the letter as I saw Miss Blod gett opening over the stame of the bilin’ hot tay kettle, through the crack of the door, bad luck to her! I knowed then as something was wrong, an’ I jest lay low an’ waited till I found it in the pocket of her silk gownd, directed to ‘Miss Madeline Murray.’ Sure I didn’t furgit the night you tuck care of me, wid the neurology in my face, an’ the hop poul tices you made, at all. Ther* don’t nobody stale nothin’ from you whin Rosy Ryan’s around!” In a second Antonia Blodgett’s flushed face appeared behind the excited house maid. “Give me back my letter, you thief!” she screamed, before she saw Mr. Avenel and Madeline. Then she stopped quickly, with her fingers pressed over her heart. “It ain’me as is the thafe!” boldly persisted Rosy. And Antonina judged it best to follow the matter no farther. “But what was it you wanted me to advise you about?” said Avenel, after ward, to Madeline. “About whether I should stay here or go back to the country,” whispered she. “Then I advise you to stay here.” And this is the reason that, of all months in the year, the month of April is Mrs. John Avenel’s favorite Saturday Night The Hardships of Explorers. Not very long ago a number of men landed from canoes at Asuncion, Para guay, and made their way to a street car. They were barefoot, ragged and general ly disreputable in appearance. They told the conductor who they were, and said they had no money, but at the hotel, a mile from the landing, they would be identified and their fares would be paid. The conductor did not do business on that basis. He told the party they looked like beggars, and they must pay their fares or walk. They thereupon walked to the hotel, where a hearty wel come and plenty of money awaited them. They were the Thouar exploring expedi tion, sent out by the Argentine Govern ment, just returning from their long trip on the Pilcomayo River, and officially complimented for having accomplished “a hitherto impossible feat.” Explorers usually undergo a good deal of wear and tear in their personal ap pearance. Stanley, who entered Africa on one side with a head of brown hair, came out on the other with hair almost white. Sir Samuel Baker said a while ago that an explorer could not wander around Central Africa very long and con tinue to look like a white man. —Neu York Sun. How lo Prevent Coal Oil Accidents. Professor P. B. Wilson, inspector of gas and illuminating oils, offers these suggestions to prevent coal oil accidents: First, replace glass with metal lamps, especially when the lamp is to be kept lighted all night; second, the wick should fill the entire burner, both as to thickness and width, but not so tight as to prevent an upward flow of oil to the point of ignition, nor to prevent air replacing the oil as it is consumed; third, have no vents or openings of any kind near the burner; fourth, do not set a glass lamp on any heated mantel or other rest where it will be heated, and from there carry it suddenly into the cold air of another room, as the contraction of vapor in the lamp will cause an inflow of air which may carry the flame with it; fifth, com pletely fill the lamp before using, and never refill it or trim the wick until the body of the lamp and the burner has cooled.— Baltimore Sun. A New Craze of the “Upper Crust.” Just now the stereopticon anu magic lantren are quite a craze in the upper cir cles of society. Many people of fashion and wealth have bought handsome stere opticons, with a large variety of views, and. having learned to manipulate them properly, now give entertainments in their parlors for the benefit of their friends. Mrs. Andrew Carnegie, who is an excellent amateur photographer, took many negatives during the famous Blainc- Damrosch coaching trip, from which lan tern slides are made. These, together with other views of Scotland, she has ex hibited at several receptions in her pala tial home. Mrs. Jordan L. Mott, Jr., has used a complete magic untern for quite a long time, and with it afford! much pleasure and instruction to club: of working girls, as well as to her per sonal friends.— New York Star. NEWS AND NOTES FOB WOMEN. Pundita liamakai is now lecturing in Japan. New York has five successful women dentists. Cherry in mahogany finish is much used in furniture. The toque and the round hat divide honors about evenly. The newest silver candlestick is in shape of a lady's boot. Mahogany, now as ever, is a preferred wood for fine furniture. Black toilets are more than ever in favor with the Parisians. Ash, maple and birch are favorite woods for cottage furniture. Ribbon embroideries are included smong the new dress-trimmings. Middle aged and elderly ladies are wearing gowns of rich black satin. Mrs. Mary Harrison McKee is said to be thoroughly up in German literature. The making of lamp shades is a very lucrative business for women in England. Cameos are very much revived, and are best liked when set iu heavy gold wire. Boating and tennis costumes are being made in cotton and wool Scotch flannels. Velvet evening dresses are worn in greater numbers than for some time past. The widow of the late Charles Crock gr, of San Francisco, is rated at $13,000,- 000. Displays of women's work will be made by thirty odd nations at the Paris Exhibi tion. The exclusively feminine club is a thing comparatively unknown in Eng land. Ten thousand women registered to vote for the School Inspectors at Detroit, Mich. There has been some attempt to revive the wearing of the Greek fillet and the turban. A diamond comet blazing in the horns of a golden moon is the weirdest of new brooches. White and black bonnets are much trimmed with gold ribbon and gold em broidery. Wise persons predict a silken season and a riot of bright colors for the sum mer of 18S9. The prettiest of the silver combs has a wreath of enamel mignonette twined about its top. The handsomest of new lockets are of pink coral, with a diamond or big pearl in the center. The newest lace-pins have enamel fruit in natural colors mounted upon gold or silver filigree. Parasols covered with India silk are furnished to use with costumes of the same material. The growth of the religious society ot the King’s Daughters in Philadelphia has been enormous. Japan’s greatest heiress is Marchioness Maida, with a fortune of $6,000,000 in her own right. The tendency in Paris seems to be set ting even more strongly toward the classic revival in dress. Challies are revived for spring and summer wear in charming designs and harmonious colors. Mrs. Marion Mcßride will represent the newspaper women of the United States at the Paris Exhibition. Mrs. Joseph Harrison, widow of the man who built the first railroad in Russia, is worth $4,000,000. Cloth powdered with silk applique in wreaths and bouquets is a new and very handsome trimming stuff. Mrs. Cleveland has abjured the bang, as well as the bustle, and brushes her hair straight up from her forehead. The newest grenadine veils are black or dark browm, and have fancy Roman stripes of satin along one edge. Graduating dresses for school girls will have Empire-belted waists, with insertion down the fronts and the sleeves. It is good Kentucky law that property paid for by a wife’s earning's is subject to execution for the husband’s debts. Cream wool sparsely dashed and splashed with a bright color will be the favorite stuff for summer tennis gowns. Scarfs of silk or lace are worn either loose over the shoulders or else knotted low upon the bust with low hanging ends. A season of thin material is predicted by Paris milliners, with bonnets entirely of silk muslin in small puffs round and round. New black veils of plain net have a hem at the lower edge with gilt threads in it in a small design and similar rows above. A novelty in the way of shoes, and de signed to be worn with Empire costumes, is a modification of the classic Greek sandals. The fan craze of the summer has been amply provided for; never before was there such an assortment of shapes and material. Statistics collected in England show that a university education is an advan tage for girls, even from a medical point of view. Laces in which gold and silver are combined in light filigree patterns are among the new and effective milinery tri minings. The more dressy cloth gowns are made of cloths of two contrasting colors or of cloth combined with heavy repped silk or bengaline. It is estimated that at least a hundred times as many ladies from the United States visit the Old World as there are European ladies who visit America. The handsome Duke of Portland has just given his beautiful betrothed a mag nificent sable cloak and a pearl necfclace, which is said to be the finest in England. The Woman's Exchange,of New York, sold above $50,000 worth of things last year: Of 6170 pieces of work done upon order only twenty-four were returned at unsatisfactory. DAWN AND DUSK. I. Slender strips of crimson sky Near the dim horizon lie, Shot across with golden bars Reaching to the fading stars; Soft the balmy west wind blows • J , Wide the portals of the rose; Smell of dewy pine and fir, Lisping leaves and vines astir; On the borders of the dark Gayly sings the meadow-lark, Bidding all the birds assemble- Hark, the welkin seems to trombl*! Suddenly the sunny gleams Break the poppy-fettered dreams— Dreams of Pan, with two feet cloven, Piping to the nymph and faun, Who, with wTeaths of ivy Nimbly dance to greet the dawn. n. Shifting shadows indistinct; Leaves and branches, crossed and linked Cling like children, and embrace, Frightened at the moon’s pale face. In the gloomy wood begins Noise of insect violins; Swarms of fire-flies flash their lamps In their atmospheric camps, And the sad-voiced whippoorwill Echoes back from hill to hill, Liquid clear above the crickets Chirping in the thorny thickets. Weary eyelids, eyes that weep, Wait the magic touch of sleep; While the dew, in silence falling,' Fills the air with scent of musk, And this lonely night bird, calling, Drops a note down through the dusk. N —Frank Dempster Sherman, HUMOR OF THE DAY. Rifle practice—Pocket picking. Unredeemable bonds—Vagabonds. Miss Fit isn’t a very popular dress maker. The Chinaman is a realist. 110 takes his cue from nature. Lots of people are inconsistent enough to expect a mule to have horse sense. First impressions are everything, par ticularly when one is collecting engrav ings. Any man can get his wife to take ac tive exercise by giving her enough money to shop with. It is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for the savage to ge: through his need of an idol. Smith—“ Jones, were you enlisted dur ing the war?” Jones—“No, but my sympathies were.” —Burlington Free Pru. Why not abbreviate Alaska to L. S. f which whould sufficiently identify it as the place of the seal ?—Bouton Transcript. A new broom sweeps clean, but it doesn t sweep half as clean as a new hired girl with an old broom. —Burlington Free Press. The raining stock seller who let his friend into the stock on “a ground floor price” had already got into the cellar. ■New York News. The latest bit of Washington Territory brag is that the climate is so fine that wool grows even on hydraulic rams Memphis Avalanche. No one has ever yet been able to ex plain why a kiss is such a pleasant thine-, but the subject is being constantly inves tigated.—Detroit Free Press. “Miss Bertha, I love you! Will jmu be mine?” “Yes certainly! Why else would 1 have been going to a cooking school for 1 year?” —Fliegende Blaetter. Tubbs— “l flatter myself that honesty is printed on my face.” Grubbs—“Well perhaps—with some allowance for typographical errors.” Burlington Free Prets. Artesian wplls have no poetry and no romance in them. The moss-covered bucket, and the old oaken bucket, and all that sort of thing disappeared when the well became a perfect bore.— Picayune. The spring fashion in European war clouds presents a small pattern of a lighter shade than last year, with bright spots scattered here and there by war correspondents out of a job.— New York World. Business Man (dejectedly)—“My dear, [ mortgaged this house to-day.” Wife— “ Mortgaged—oh! Howmuch?” “Five thousand dollars.” “Isn't that grand! Now you can get me that diamond neck lace.”—Philadelphia Record. Medical Examiner (for insurance com puny)—“You appear to be in a very weak, nervous, depressed physical con dition.” Applicant for Insurance— ‘ ‘Yes, your agents have been chinning at me for six months.”— Philadelphia Record. Old Man (at the head of the stairs at 2:30 a.m.) —“Susie, what time is it?” Susie (with second look at Reginald, who loosens his grip)— 1 ‘A few minutes past 10, papa.” Old Man—“ Don’t forget to start the clock again when you go to bed.” Wasp. In Persia when a railroad kills a man the natives pull up the track for miles and boycott the trains. As a practical pre vention of railroad accidents this plau must be almost as effective as that of tying a director on the cowcatcher.— Somerville Journal. Brown—“ Hello. Robinson, I thought you were trying in the musicale to-night?” Robinson— ‘ ‘I just left there. ” Bro wn “What made you leave so early?” Rob inson—“A sixteen-year-old young man is trying to sing ‘Larboard Watch, Ahov!’” —Epoch. J Things that one would rather not have said.—Mahlstick—“Do you know, Miss Maunerby, that some of my friends tell me that I am deteriorating in my paint ing?” Miss Mannerby—“Oh, Mr. Mahl stick! That is quite impossible. ” — Boston Transcript. A Wise Doctor—Doctor— “I see just what’s the matter with you. You need something strengthening. Eat a plate of oatmeal, boiled, every morning for break fast.” Patient—“l do, doctor.” Doctor (equal to the occasion)—“Then leave it off. ” Yankee Blade. Negotiations have been resumed with Spain for a renewal of the treaty of com merce with Germany,