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Bale Coil! Ties. TRENTON, GEORGIA. The famous botanical gardens at Edin burgh, Scotland, have just been opened to the public on Sundays. Some 200 miles of road are to be built this year in Pennsylvania to devclope coal, iron and timber lands. It is predicted that Manitoba will be come one of the great mutton and wool raising centers of the earth. Postmaster-General Wanamaker thinks it wiser to improve the postal service than to establish one-cent postage. The Argentine Republic is growing alarmed over the great influx of Italians of the poorest class and the Government has issued orders limiting the arrivals to 200 per month. James Gordon Bennett, of the New York, London and Paris Herald, wants the United States to send a strong corps of American mechanics to the Paris Ex position to see and learn things. An American sea captain thinks he has found a gauge of the nearness of an ice berg by the use of a foghorn, and the con sequent echo. If so, remarks the New York Voice, it will prove a very valuable discovery. Prospective emigrants are reading with much interest a paragraph which has been going the rounds of the press, to the effect that every man w T ho settles in Colombia, Central America, gets six dollars a month, 250 acres of land,a cow, tw r o pigs and a plow. The action of the Connecticut House in inviting a New York woman to partici pate in the House debate on woman suf frage is, declares the New York Graphic, without a precedent in the eccentricities of Legislators. The Connecticut men were exceptionally gallant. t- The greatest surprise of the day is the statement that the Eiffel tower at the Paris Exposition is not in fact, the Eiffel tower, but the Monguier tow T er. It is al leged that it was a young engineer of that name in Eiffel’s employment who first con ceived the idea and worked it out. According to ßradstreet's, the abandon ment of silk culture in California is for shadowed by the action of the Governor of that State in vetoing an appropriation of SIO,OOO made by the Legislature tc carry on experiments. The reason given is that California cannot compete with China or Japan in that industry. The Washington Memorial Arch, thal is now very sure of being erected there, will not be one of the first-class works ol art in the world, observes the New York Sun, but it will be the finest thing of tin kind on this side of the Atlantic Ocean. The popular subscriptions to the fund ir its behalf are still coming in finely. ’. The seals of Behring Sea are in great need of protection. Their earlier haunts among the Georgian Islands, off the coast of New South Wales, the South Shetland Islands, and the other places in the South Seas, are almost deserted, and having taken refuge in Behring Sea, they are threatened there too with extermination. ’ The musicians have every reason, thinks the Brooklyn Citizen , to rise in their might and slay the inventor of the phono graph. Large ones are been constructed that will correctly register the playing of first-class orchestras, and the stage man ager has but to turn one crank on the stage instead of ten in the orchestra to get superior music. : Benjamin L. Hurst, of the Pennsyl vania Railroad has just celebrated the close of his fifty years’ active service as a loco motive engineer, and he is not ready, by a long way, to retire. He is called Uncle Ben by all who know him, and he is still at work running a first-class passenger train. His eye is as clear as ever, and he stands as erect as a cadet. < During the last twenty-five years Queen Victoria has captured 447 agricultural prizes with stock from her Windsor farms. She takes great interest in cattle shows, and- is a good judge of Shorthorns and Jerseys. At Windsor, on Aber geldie farm and at Osborne she has herds of cattle worthy a royal owner. The park at Osborne is now stocked with a pict uresque herd of West Highland cattle. A rather strange way Of raising the wind in Spain is a tax of twelve per cent, on money left to be expended in masses for the repose of the soul of the deceased. This may be to discourage such bequests, for a shrewd observer of Spanish affairs says: “Moremoney has been expended in mas. es tlian would have covered Spain with railroads, even on a British scale of gaagnificcuec and extravagant#. ” . " PLANT A THEE. He who plants a tree Plants a hope. Rootlets up through fibres blindly grope; Leaves unfold into horizons free. So man’s life must climb From the clods of time Unto heavens sublime. Canst thou prophesy, thon little tree, What the glory of thy boughs shall be? He who plants a tree Plants a joy; Plants a comfort that will never cloy, Every day a fresh reality. Boautiful and strong, To whose shelter throng Creatures blithe with song. If thou couldst but know, thou happy tree, Of the bliss that shall inhabit thee. He who plants a tree He plants a peace. Under its green curtain jargons cease, Leaf and zephyr murmur soothingly; Shadows soft with sleep Down tired eyelids creep, Balm of slumber deep. Never hast thou dreamed thou blessed tree, Of the benediction thou shalt be. He who plants a tree He plants youth; Vigor won for centuries, in sooth; Life of time, that hints eternity! Boughs their strength uprear, New shoots every year On old growths appear. Thou shalt teach the ages, sturdy tree, Youth of soul is immortality. He who plants a tree He plants love; Tents of coolness spreading out above Wayfarers, he may not live to see Gifts that grow are best; Hands that bless are blest; Plant; Life does the rest! Heaven and earth help him who plants a tree, And his work its own reward shall be. —Lucy Larcom, in the Philadelphia Ledger. THE LAST RESORT. BY HELEN FORREST GRAVES. It was a sunshiny aiternoon in late May. The breezes that wooed apple buds into blossom, far off in country wildernesses, served but to send clouds of dust along the city streets. But over head the sky was blue and bright, all dappled with white clouds, and Miss Gill, Mrs. Aramis’s forewoman, looked up with a sigh, and thought of the old farm in Ulster County, where she used to live many, many years ago, when she was a girl. Mrs. Aaron Aramis was a fashionable dressmaker in Montagu street. Miss Gill was second in command, and there were six young girls who sewed in a big back room, and a couple of “fitters” to super intend. The spring fashions w r ere advantage ously displayed upon various wire forms and waxen dummies around the show room. Mrs. Aramis was in a curtained recess by a window, checking off a large order from the South. Miss Gill stood behind the counter, and a pale, pretty young women, dressed in mourning that had lost its first freshness. w 7 as talking earnestly to her. “So you have no vacancies at all?” said she. Miss Gill shook her head. “None,” she replied. But I think if you were to apply at Severell’s, next door—” The pretty girl colored vividly. “The place would not suit me,” said she. “The floor-walker—” And then she stopped suddenly. “Yes, I understand,” said Miss Gill. “He is rather disagreeable. I wonder,” she added, within herself, “if this is the girl I’ve heard of, that old Pitch, the floor-walker, was determined to marry, whether she would or not. She is very pretty. And I’m sorry for her, poor thing!” “I don’t know what to do,” wistfully added the girl. “I am very poor, so very poor, and there are so few ways for a woman to earn her living. If one could drown oneself, and be done with it. But starvation is such a slow death.” At that moment the creak of heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs, and in trudged a stout, elderly woman, with a black felt bonnet, and short gray curls, blown into sad confusion by the riotous spring winds. “Is this Mrs. Aramis’s place?” de manded she. Miss Gill bowed courteously. “I've heard a dflfl about it,” said the elderly woman. “Mrs. Judge Jexon, out our way, bought a maroon silk drees here once. It was dretful tasty. And I was calculating to buy a black silk dress myself. We hain’t no good dress makers at Eventown, so I sort o’ thought I d buy it ready made. Got any nice ones?” Miss Gill came out from behind the counter. It was true that the old woman’s bonnet was cheap in material, and ancient, in make, and her general attire entirely deficient in effect; but these eccentric people were often the best customers. Miss Gill drew forward a handsome costume, above which was a wax face simpered with perpetual smiles. “How do you like this?” she said. Old Mrs. Blinn started. “I ’most thought it was alive, at first,” she said. “That’s an awful pretty dress,” peering through her spectacles at the loops and puffs and lace cascades that decorated the rich material. “What’s the price?” “We could sell this,” said Miss Gill, making a mental calculation, “for one hundred and twenty-five dollars. It is worth more, but—” Again Mrs. Blinn started. ‘‘A —hundred and twenty-five— dollars!” she echoed, “Why, that’s more than Blinn's best team o’ horses cost. I couldn’t think o’ giving that for a dress.” Miss Gill pushed the wax-headed figure back, not without some scorn in her movement, and took a big pasteboard box from a drawer. “Here is a bargain,” said she. Mrs Blinn pricked up her ears at the word. “A surah silk, richly trimmed with jets, which we can afford to sell at seventy-five dollars.” Mrs. Blinn’s countenance fell. “’Tain’t no use talkin’,” said she. “I can’t affort no such price as that.” Miss Gill closed the drawer with a bang. “May I ask—” began she. “I’d set my price at twenty-five dollars,” said the customer. “I don’t want none o’ your fancy fixin’s. Some thing good and plain would suit me!” “We don’t deal in any such quality of goods as that,” said Miss Gill, elevating her nose and compressing her lips. “I might give thirty, if I was put to it.” “Quite out of the question,” said Miss Gill. “Our price for making up the material alone is thirty dollars.” Mrs. Blinn sighed, took up her um brella and alligator bag, and slowly with drew. Miss Gill uttered a sniff of dis dain. “The idea!” said she. “I don’t know what people expect,” observed Mrs. Aramis, from her recess. Out on the pavement, however, as Mrs. Blinn was unhitching the horse and gathering up the time-worn reins, a pale, pretty young woman accosted her with timid eagerness. “I beg your pardon,” said she, “but I believe you did not suit yourself at Mrs. Aramis’s?” “No,” said Mrs. Blinn, “I didn’t.” “Perhaps,” hazarded Miss Frederick, “I might be fortunate enough to—” “Be you a dressmaker?” said Mrs. Blinn, turning the full focus of the spec tacles directly on the girl’s face. “I make gowns—yes.” Mrs. Blinn paused, with her foot on the muddy wagon step. “And,” added Miss Frederick, “I can undertake to make you a nice, plain black-silk dress for twenty-eight dollars.” “I’m willin’ to pay that much,” said Miss Blinn. “When can you measure me ?” “To-morrow,” said Miss Frederick. “At No. —, Sixth Avenue, at ten o’clock. I will see about the material at once.” “I’ll come, said Mrs. Blinn. “It’s a sort o’ bother racketin’ in and out of the city, but there’s to be a wedding in the family, and I want the dress to wear week after next.” “It shall be ready,” said Miss Fred erick. She watched the creaking vehicle jolt down the street, and then went straight to the neat little room of a friend of hers, who had just opened an unpretentious milliner’s shop at No. Sixth Avenue. “Jenny,” said she, “I want to borrow your room for an hour to-morrow. I’ve got a customer, and I can’t take her to the dark hall bed-room where I hiber nate. And I want to paint a little sign, and tack it up above yours—for this oc casion only— “‘Miss Frederick, Dressmaker.’” “You shall, and welcome,” said kind Jenny Plympton. Mrs. Blinn came, and was duly fitted. Miss Frcderickshowed her a sample, of the silk, Blinn looked at this way and that, raveled out, and rubbed between her thumb and finger in a know ing manner. “It’s good silk,” said she. “Yes,” said “it is good silk.Ja W “■ten can you have it ready?” “Bf Saturday night." “I’d sort o’ like to try it on afore I pay for it,” hazarded the old lady. ‘‘l will bring it out myself and try it on you,” said Miss Frederick. Mrs. Blinn brightened up at once. “Will you?” said she. “I’ll send the farm-boy in for you, then, with the wagon, and p’raps you’ll stay over Sun day with me? You look sort o’ pale. Mebbe it w T ould do you good to breathe the country air.” “I should like it of all things!” said Miss Frederick, eagerly. She arrived on Saturday night, with the dress carefully pinned up in brown paper. She tried it on, and Mrs. Blinn, Naomi Blinn and Susanna Blinn all pronounced it “a perfect fit.” “Such a rich silk!” said the old lady. “A deal better quality than Mrs. Judge Jexon’s!” “Such pretty jet dangles all over it!” said Miss Susanna. “Such a stylish cut!” cried Naomi. “Mu looks dreadful ladylike in it! I wonder if Miss Frederick would make me one?” “A black silk?” cried Susanna, in credulously. “No, to-be-sure!” said Naomi. “An alpaca, or a chaili, or something—Eh— what’s the matter? Is she sick?” For, even as Miss Frederick was ad justing the sash drapery of the new gown, she sank fainting to the floor. “I think it must have been because I was so w T eak,” she murmured, -when at last breath came and sense returned to her. “I have eaten nothing but bread and w’ater for a week.” Mrs. Blinn who, good soul, thought a deal of her breakfast, her dinner and her supper, uttered a cry of dismay. “I am a dreadful hypocrite!” said Miss Frederick, smiling faintly. “I may as well tell you the whole truth. I’m not a dressmaker at all—only a shopgirl—only I used always to help with poor mamma’s dresses and my own when—when we had money. Mamma is dead now. This,” glancing at the silk gown, “was her best black silk, that I never could make up my mind to pawn. She only wore it half a dozen times, and I sponged and turned it all carefully. It's not new, but—but— Oh, I am such a wicked fraud!” and she burst into tears. “Don’t fret, dear!” said kindly Mrs. Blinn, folding her in her capacious arms. “The dress is beautiful. Didn’t I say what a fine quality it was? and a good deal nicer than the money would have' bought for me anywhere else—” “And the fit,” interposed Naomi—“it’s just like the fashion plates.” “And,” added Susanna, who had a little money of her own, which a maiden aunt had left her, “I want you to make a new dress for me, if you will. And Squire Eden’s daughter wants her olive [ cashmere made over, and—and— Oh, we’ll get lots of work for you to do, Miss Frederick, if only you will stay here.” “Here—in Evantown?”. “Why not?” said brave Naomi. “She can have the little room in the wing, ma, can’t she? There’s a nice south window, and plenty' of room for a , sewing machine.” ‘ ‘And she can easily sew enough for us to pay her board,” suggested Susanna, who had something of the business ele ment about her. Miss Frederick brightened up. “You will forgive me the deception?” said she. “Deception! There ain’t no decep tion about it,” said Mrs. Blinn, com placently surveying herself in the new robe. “I wanted a good black silk, didn’t I? And I’ve got it, haven’t l— and without payin’ none o’ them out rageous city prices, neither. Yes, mj dear, you shall stay here with us. As Naomi gays, there’s room to spare, and But if you ain’t a regular dress maker,” she abruptly broke off, “how did you ever come by that nice furnished place on Sixth Avenue, with the sign and all?” Miss Frederick colored vividly. “That was fraud and cheating, too,’ she confessed. ‘‘l painted the sign my self, on a bit of board, with water colon that were a relic of old days, and I bor rowed the use of the room from a friend, on purpose to delude you. Ah, you never, nover can forgive me!” “My dear,” said the good „farmer’s wife, “you are forgiven } already. And now the girls will be so pleased,’ for my eldest son is to be married ;next week, and they were ldnd i o’;) puzzied about their dresses and things, and now youarO here, if will be all right.’! Within a week .the fraudulent slgi. shone above a neat littlef doorway itj Evanstovvn, and “Miss Frederick, of New York,” rose into eminence, with out ever having learned her trade 1 “Mrs. Aramis and Miss'' Gill would hardly believe it,” she said exultantly* to heiself. “But I hope,” said Mrs. Judge Jexon, one of the new arrival’s warmest adi herents, “she won’t give up the businesr after she is married to Charley Blinn. Nobody fits me like her.” “Married to Charley Blinn!” echoed another gossip. “There ain’t no talk of that, is there?” Mrs. Jexton shrugged her shoulders. “No talk as I know of,” she said. “But I think it is likely to happen. One •wedding makes another, and now that John Henry is married, it’s Charley’s turn next. And she’s a very pretty girl.” “O-o-oh!” said the gossip. —Saturday Night . , A Lively Bear Hunt in Three States. One of the most exciting bear hunts oi the year took place in the vicinity ol Charleston, W. Va., recently. Early in the morning a big black bear, weighing about 300 pounds, was chased out of th< mountains above Hedgeville, in Berkeley County, by some squirrel hunters. II crossed the Potomac to Williamsport, Maryland, where it created a great deal of excitement, and in an hour after its arrival on Maryland soil twenty-five men and twice that number or dogs were in pursuit. Bruin escaped the hunters and hounds, skirted around Hagerstown, and was seen that night near Greencastle, Penn., having traveled about twenty miles during the day. Most of the origi nal pursuers dropped off, but others took up the ohase from time to time, so thal there was always about the same numbei of excited men at the animal’s heels. Hi; trail was lost over the Pennsylvania line, but the animal doubled back, and was again found near the North Mountain. There he was surrounded, and being brought to bay in a field near Quincy, was shot to death by a volley from the hunters. The animal showed fight before being shot, and was an ugly customer to handle. ) Beds in Japan, f A Japanese bed is the matting that covers the floor. At bed time several blankets or quilts are produced. One is rolled out on the matting-covered flooi and forms the mattress. The pillow, iu stated above, is either a small block oi wood or a wooden structure, like a minia ture saw horse, intended to fit at the nape of the neck. Some more luxurious ones are rolls or little round cushions made of some soft material. When the Japanese or his visitor stretches himself out on his blanket and lays his head on this executioner’s block for a pillow he draws over him one, two, or half a dozen blankets, according to his fancy and the temperature of the air about him. In cold weather, Japanese houses are any thing but comfortable, as no arrange ments are made for heating them. The Jap, however, proposes to be comforta ble in his bed, and he provides himself with a bed warmer. This is a grated box or case, with a receptacle inside, in which charcoal is burned. He puts this char coal stove under his blanket, near his teet, and wraps his limbs about it. The Jap anese will sleep this way all night. A Japanese Writing Desk. The Jap’s writing desk, like the lady’s toilet set, seems to be made for very little people. The Jap does not sit in a chair to write, but kneels before his cabinet and squats on the floor. The cabinet contains a number of dainty little drawers, in which are kept paper, ink, brushes and pencils. On the top of the cabinet is a tray for the ink. One little vessel contains water in which the stick of India ink used in writing is moistened. The stick thus moistened is rubbed upon a pad from which it is taken up on a finely pointed brush with which the writing is done. Some of the paper comes in rolls, and as the Japanese writes his characters in vertical rows, he unrolls his paper and keeps unrolling until he has written all he wants to write, and, then, if it is a letter, he tears the paper written upon from the roll, folds.it up and sends it away. Some paper used by Japanese women is made in fancy styles w ith figures or flowers painted or printed on it in colors. —Wathingian Star. „ A GREAT NAVAL BATTLE THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE CHESA PEAKE AND SHANNON. Story of a Fierce Engagement in 1813, Told by a British Veteran Who Participated. In a letter to the New York Sun from London, Blakely Hall writes that he has listened to what seemed like a voice from another age. It was, in fact, says Mr. Hall, that of a man who seventy-six years ago figured prominently in one of the most famous naval engagements which ever took place between the sailors of the United States and Great Britain. This is Admiral Sir Provo Wallis, who was Second Lieutenant, and after the fight, officer in charge of the British frigate Shannon when she captured the American frigate Chesapeake, in the duel off Boston harbor, on June 1, 1813. Wallis is the man who took the ship and sailed away with it after the American Captain, Law rence, had ,dying, uttered his deathless phrase; “Don’t give up the ship.” Ad miral Wallis still lives, at the age of ninety-eight, and, although bedridden, is in full possession of all his faculties. Hs is senior Admiral of the fleet, which is not surprising when one recalls the num ber of his years. Here is his account of the battle. It is principally in the words he spoke to me to-day, but has been checked by refer ence to the account which he furnished in 1866 to the author of a life of Admiral Broke, to which book Admiral Wallis re ferred me as his favorite authority on the subject: “No sensible Englishman,” he said, “can look with satisfaction on the war of ISI2, I consider that it was principally due to the stupidity and brutality of the home authorities in England. The Ameri cans were undoubted the injured party. Much ill-feeling was caused for some years before the war by the English seiz ing all American ships and searching them for property belonging to Frenchmen or subjects of other hostile nations. Then, after Napoleon had issued his decree of Berlin and Milan forbidding commerce between England and practically the svhole of Europe, the English Govern ment issued their orders in council for bidding neutrals to trade with the bel ligerent States of Europe. War then bc jame certain. “It was declared on June 18, 1812. Ihe American merchant service suffered terribly. On one occasion a convoy ol fifteen ships was burned off New York. k great number suffered a similar fate. In the conflicts between the British and (American men-of-war the latter, nomin illy of the same class as the former, were greatly superior in weight and guns. We were therefore beaten time after time. “For some days previous to June 1, 1813, tho weather in Boston Bay had been very thick and foggy, so that we bad to guess our position. The morning ff the Ist, however, was ushered in by a brilliant sunrise, and the land near Boston was sighted. But we were not without fear lest the Chesapeake had jfleeted her escape during the thick weather, as Commodore Rogers in the President, 44, with the Congress, 38,had under similar circumstances contrived to 10. “Having, however, stood in to re connoitre, we were gratified by a fight of her in Nantasket Roads. We challenged her to come out ind fight a duel, guaranteeing that no other ship of our nationality should inter fere, and requiring a similar guarantee on their part. The challenge was im mediately accepted, and the Chesapeake ran up a white flag on which we dis cerned the words: “Free trade and sail ors’ rights.” We hove to, and continued so till she was within gunshot. The breeze was slight and the sea smooth as a mill pond. “At ten minutes to 6, being then with in gunshot, she gallantry rounded to and ranged up closely on our starboard quarter, and the battle began. “The cannonading lasted for only eleven minutes, when the Chesapeake, who had got before our beam, was taken aback, and, making a sternboard,dropped into us just abaft our fore channels. “Broke, our Captain, ran forward,call ing out: ‘Follow mo who can!’ and jumped on board the Chesapeake, followed by all who were within hearing. “The engagement did not last mora than fifteen minutes altogether. Roughly speaking, about seventy Americans were killed and a hundred wounded, and thirty English killed and sixty wounded. “Captain Broke, whoml dearly loved, was terribly wounded, and Lieutenant Watt, second in command, killed. The charge of the ships devolved on me, the second Lieutenant. “On the Chesapeake Captain Lawrence and the first Lieutenant, Ludlow, were mortally wounded, and the fourth Lieutenant, Ballard, killed. ‘ ‘The short resistance of the Chesapeake was undoubtedly due to the great mortal ity among their officers. ‘When we boarded there was no officer to rally the Americans, and therefore no organized resistance. “Captain Broke received several wounds while on the Chesapeake, one of them cutting away part of his skull and laying bare the brain. It devolved upon me to secure the prisoners on the Chesa peake. This was an easy matter, for they had some hundred of handcuffs on board ready for us. We ornamented them with their own manacles. “On the 6th I reached Halifax with our orize. Lawrence, the American Captain, iied of his wounds on the fourth, and shortly after our arrival at Halifax Lieutenant Ludlow lied. They had done their duty to their country to the utmost ind were buried at Halifax with full military honors. Lawrence was one of the bravest men I ever met. Their bodies were shortly afterward removed to New York and deposited in Trinity Church.” _____ The gross earnings of ninety-five rail roads in 1888 were $622,000,000, or three and a half per cent, over 1887,while the net earnings of these roads were 9ix und a per cw»t. less. - . BOTH. Grandmother knit for the baby A jacket of blue. “No color for boys,” so she wrote it, “But this one will do.” And she sent a gold pin with a blank for the name, “To wait till “he” came. Next day came from lovely Aunt Mollie i Now what do you think? All scented, embroidered and dainty, A jacket of pink! “To dress a girl-baby in blue is a shame P’ She wrote: “What’s her name?” “Dear Grandma,” wrote mamma one morn ing, “Your jacket in blue Is just the right thing for our baby, His eyes are so blue.” (And her note to Aunt Mollie was strange, you may think! “Our dear little girl is so pretty in pink!” j t fear that you’ll say her two letters At variance seemed, Dr that I am telling you something I could but have dreamed; But the fact is, her stories were nothing but true; For the twins wore both jackets—tho pink and the blue! —Agnes L. Mitchell , in Babyhood. HUMOR OF THE DAY. A love-letter—W. An early settler—A man who pays his bills promptly. They say a sheep-dog’s favorite vege table is a collie flower. A dog will bark up a tree. So will a horse, if hitched to one too long. Siftings. If “brevity is the soul of wit,” drawfs should be the funniest of men.— Pittsburg Chronicle. “Yes, Julius, the health lift is a good thing, but don’t look for it in the vicinity of a mule's heels.”— Burlington Free Press. It is said that every man has his double. It generally occurs in youth, during the green-apple season.— Providence Journals Many people travel for health; but you cannot travel in England without losing seventy-five or a hundred pounds.— Bazar. McCorkle—“Smythe says he owes you a grudge.” McCrackle—“Never mind; Smythe never pays anything.”— llaiper’s Bazar. The young King of Spain’s nurse* probably have little trouble in keeping him clean since he is himself the Castile’s hope.— Hotel Mail. The mean is not the extreme, but if there is anything meaner than a hornet’s extreme it has not come this way.—Bing hamton Republican. Stella—“Oh, Bella, how glad I am! I haven’t seen you for ages!” Bella— “ Hush! You will give us both away.”— Burlington Free Press. “How came Governor Buck to marry a woman inferior to him in social position?” “Oh, you forgot she began life as a gov erness.”—Boston Gazette. Cora— ‘ ‘What induced you to tell Mr. Merritt I went to the party last night with George?” Little Johnnie—“A quarter.”-— Harper's Bazar. First Broker—“ Jay Gould's stocks are feverish this morning. ” Second Broker —‘ ‘Feverish! Is it possible that he for got to water them?”— Texas Siftings. An Ohio church deacon exclaimed: “Consarn it all to Texas!” and the verdict of the church investigation was: “Not guilty, but in bad taste.”— Detroit Frea Press. Husband—“A word to the wise is suf ficient, my dear.” Wife—“l know it, darling. That’s why I have to be con tinually and everlastingly talking to you.” Washington Critic. Mistress—“ Now, Jane, clear away the breakfast dishes and then look after the children. I’m going around the corner to have a dress fitted.” Faithful Ser vant—“ Yes, mum. Will ye take the aight key, or shall I set up for ye?”— Time. A miller fell fast asleep in his mill, and bent forward until his chair was caught in some machinery, and almost a handful af hair was pulled out. Of course he was awakened. His first bewildered exclama tion was: “Hang it! wife, what’s the matter now?”— Tid Bits. Omaha Chief—“ And when the shoot ing began you ran away from the melee?” Proud Policeman—“ Yes.” O. C.—“ Did pou not know you would be called a cow ird all you life?” P. P.—“l made a hasty calculation to that effect, but I thought I would rather be a coward all my life than a corpse for fifteen minutes.” Omaha World. Some strolling actors were once play-i ing “Macbeth” in a country town. Their properties were not kept in very system atic order, for, when the hero of Shakes peare’s drama exclaimed: “Is this a dag ger which I see before me?” a shrill voice responded from the “flies:” “No, sir; 'it’s the putty-knife; the dagger’s lostl” —Household Words. Curing the Falsetto Voice of Men. A St. Louis gentleman tells the follow ing story: “I consulted, the other day, a well-known St. Louis specialist in throat and lung diseases, a man who is famous in the country for his original investiga tion. Chatting with him after my busi ness was disposed of, he casually tioned a discovery he had made a year be fore, by which he was able to cure tho falsetto voice of men. ‘‘l thought it wa3 incurable,” said I. “Oh, no,” he said.; ‘ ‘The cure is a mere matter of training a certain idle th. oat muscle to do its proper work. You know Mr. Blank and Mr.; Dash and young B. I showed them in ten minutes how to cure the falsetto voice,; ind after a week’s exercise they all came back to me talking in full, manly bari tone and bass voices.” “But it is not generally known that you have dis covered this,” I said. “Why don’t ypu write something about it?” “Well,” said he, “I can’t afford to antagonize the profession, as I should do if I advertised that I could do something other phy sicians could not do.” -