Newspaper Page Text
BANNER-MESSENGER.
VOL. XV.
A CLEVER JOKE.
Messrs. Editors:— While waiting for
some information for an article for the
B.-M. I take the liberty to send y° u
one or two jokes, though they may be a
liitle old, will bear repeating. “We had
a man down in a town in Virginia by y the
name of t Jouos, T who . was a contractor by ,
occupation—a good man in his way. In
politics, a reform republican,as he called
himself (I think all that party need re
toiming). .. , ... W ell, the people elected , , him
to the city council. About the time of bis
election, a street railroad wauted to ex
tend its line through some of the streets,
and a bill had beeu offered by a fellow
named Smith, giving them the light to
do so.
One day a fellow came to Joues and
saicPyou know that ordinance that Smith
introduced.’ *1 do,’ said Jones,‘and 1 am
against it. It’s a swindle. ‘Well,’ said the
little man,‘theie are five thousand dol¬
lars in it for you. lu a few moments the
people rushed in to pull Jcuas off the
man he had nearly killed.
The next day another man met Joues
and s lid ‘that is a fiue ordinance Smith
Das introduced.’ ‘A swindle,’ says Jones
‘But.,’ says the mau/look what the street
cars have done for the city, and think of
the widows and orphans who have their
money invested.’ ‘I am an orphau my¬
self,’says Jones, ‘and as for
healthy widow ought to be ashamed of
owniug stock in a street car line if she
was a widow. And the man went away.
Now Joues thought he had put that
$5,000 out of his mind, but he hadn’t.tie
only laid it by, and every time he closed
his eyes he thought of it. It was a shame
to give the company what they wanted,
but $5,000 was a lot of money. It would
lift the mortgage; it would cleau up the
notes on the new contract; it would buy
a new dress for Mrs. Jones.
He began to feel sorry for the widows
and orphans. ‘Poor things, for they
must suffer—and I need the money so.
The street car company aie robbers. ’Tis
true ihey built up this city. No oue
would be hurt, and it is not a bribe to
take money for something you want to
do. Fiye thousand widows and orphans,’
says Jones and he went to sleep.
The next morning he went down to
Brown’s to lenew his notes and Brown
it. ‘Jones,’ says he, ‘I wish you
would pay up, I need the money. I am
afraid the council want pass that ordi
uace of Smith and it means much to me.
By the way, how are you going vote on
that ordinance?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says
Joues. ‘Well,’ says Brown, ‘when you
find out come and see me about the
notes, and Joues went to the meeting of
the council, and when his name was call¬
ed ne said “aye’’ so loud that a chuuek
of ceiling fell and spoiled the good looks
of a reform councilman.”
Any man should know that it is im¬
possible to be a reformer and remain in
the party of Addison, division and si
lance. with
A question, if the peace treaty
Spain is agreed to, and we pay the twen¬
ty million dollars for the ten million peo¬
ple who inhabit the Philipiues, which is
about two dollars a piece, dou’t you
think, Mr. Editor, that even two dollars
per head is too high a price to pay for
what Spain didn’t own.
We “old rebs” thought the slavery
question was settled years ago, and had
no idea the government 35 years after the
war between the states would go iutu the
tf.ide of slave dealing. K. li. W.
IHJCIIAXAX, HARALSON COUNTY, GEORGIA. THURSDAY lAXl ARY lit, IS!)!).
% t
The Sure La Grippe Cure.
There is no use suffering from this
dreadful m i'iad \, if y° n "ill *»nly get the
right remedy. i
I Von are having pain all
j i through your body, your liver is out of
order, have no appetite, no life or ambi
I thin, have a bad cold, in fact are coin
! only remedy use ,^ ''P- that will Electric Bitters is the
j and relief. give von nromnt
sure Liver, They act directly ‘tone on
! your * Stomach, and Kidneys,
U P t, ie " hole system and make you feel
J ike a new being. They are guaranteed
to cure or price refunded, For sale at
Cobb & Lasseter’s drugstore only 50 cts.
per bottle,
AMONG OUR EXCHANGES.
Short Paragraphs From Many
Sources That Will Inter¬
est Our Readers.
There were three negroes hung in
Montgomery in two days of last week.
All three were murderers of white men.
Z. T. Gnffiin. known in Dooly county
as General Griffin, committed suicide at
his home eight miles northwest of Viena
Wednesday. No reason is known for
his act.— Journal.
Flanagan, the murderer of Dekalb
county, has not only cost that county a
quanity of money, but is sole cause of
four deaths, one man lost his mind that
was on his jury, and one man was badly
hurt by Flanagan at. the time he commit¬
ted the awful murder of three for which
he was trid.
The defeatof Jeriy Simpson for re
election to congress had the result of
winning for a young Kansas stockman a
whole year’s supply of kisses. The gen¬
tleman bet her a thousand dollars against
a thousand kisses. The voung lady lost
and her kisses are to be paid on the in¬
stallment plan of twenty per week. The
kisses are valued at one dollar per week.
We think the lady is too high with her
kisses for five cent cotton.
This morning at 7 minutes past 10
o’clock Abram Small, the most notorious
criminal Chatham had within its bounds,
was hanged in Savannah for the murder
of Polieceman Janes Neve, ori February
10 th, ’94. The negro went to his death
as sociably as an Indian. lie made no
plea for mercy, and did not in any way
show any weakness on the gallows, lie
sang a hymn with some zeal, and an
nounced that he was ready to go. He
had been convicted three times, but Su¬
preme court granted uew trials twice.
The execution was private, only the of¬
ficers of the jail and Small’s minister be¬
ing present.—Atlanta Journal.
A keeper of a Chicago zoo gave the
moukeys a Christmas tree, and all day
they have been racing aabout their big
cage giving the keeper monkey cheers to
express their appreciation. The gentle¬
man put on fruits, nuts and popcorn on
the tree. Aftei all preparations had been
made, he let the monkeys in. There was
an enthusiastic and simultaneous rush
for the tree. From bottom to top the lit¬
tle animals flew about it, chattering,
screaming and sampling the wares. Each
selected what he wanted worst and made
for the top of the cage to eat in peace.
An aged monkey from Brazil superin¬
tended the distribution of the fruits.
Ifgluoroyand Nervous, and looking
on tlie dark side of everything, take a
few dot.es of Di. M. A, Simmons Liver
Medicine, and the gloom will disappear
grand jury.
F M Hutcheson J T
.1 II Eady J T
1 C L McPherison K A
G L Walton W F Goldin
J A J. Wood J 1 If K Latimei I
R I) chandler J W
Joel L Chandler W >> J I Blown Hmwii
P ii Furgerson A Willingham
W VV Dean F R onmu Smith
E Kirk J Barry
J J Coal son
J T Cobb, clerk li II White, forman
This jury is composed of (trod,
gent men, and it would be impossible fot
this selection of jurymen to be beaten.
How to Prevent Pneumonia.
You are perhaps aware that nneumo
• alwuv , results
uia from a cold ... or front an
attack of la grippe. During th e epidetn
io of la grippe a few years ago when so
many cases resulted w pneumuiiia, it
was observed that the attack was never
followed by that disease when Chamber¬
lain’s Cough Remedy was used. It couu
teracts grippe any result tendency of a cold or la
to in that dangerous dis¬
ease. It is the best remedy in the world
for bad colds and la grippe. Every bot¬
tle warranted. For sale by Cobb &, Las
setter, druggists.
Negotiations have about ceased be
twen the United States and Cuba which
will result in the loan from our govern¬
ment to Cuba of $40,000,000 to pay off
the latter’s soldiers. $100 will be paid
each soldier, but will likely be paid in
three or four payments. Cuba will mort¬
gage her custom houses for the loan.
A Clever Trick.
It certainly looks like it, but there is
really no trick about it. Anybody can
try it who has Lame Back and Weak
Kidneys, Malaria or nervous troubles.
We mean he can cure himself right away
by taking Electric Bitters. This merii
c j ue tones up the whole aystem, acts as
a stimulant to the Liver and Kidneys, is
a blood purifier and nerve tonic. It cures
Constipation, Headache, Fainting Spells,
sleeplessness and Melancholy. It is pure
jy vegetable, a mild laxative,and restores
t |, e system to its natural vigor. Try Elec
trie Bitters and be convinced that they
are a miracle Worker. Every bottle guar¬
anteed. Only 50c. a bottle at Cobb A
Lassetter’s Drug Store.
To settle tlie Stomach and Overcome
the Nausea of Prospective Mothers, take
Simmons Squaw Vine Wine or Tablets
In the December 29th issue of the
Banner-Messenger (Buchanan), its ed¬
itor, A. E’ Nix, announces his retire¬
ment and that he has“turned over every¬
thing to Messrs. P. L. and W. P. Meri¬
wether,” who will continue the business
The Journal wishes all conceined success
in their undertakings.—Tallapoosa Jour¬
nal.
Bucklen’s Arnica Salve.
The best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fe¬
ver Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chil¬
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions,and
positively cures Piles, or no pay required,
It, is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac
don or money refunded. Pi ice 25
per box. For sale by Cobb & basset,
XO. 48
Hutcjeson,eaeoutor Georgia, Haralson countv.-whereas, R u
of last will of John Dm, <
represents U> Uie court in liis petition, duly tiled
and entend on record, that he has fully admin
tm><1 Mm Lewis’ estate. This is thereiore n,
* u, t° r should not lie Uisnu^ed from &£
istration, his udnun
and receive letters of dismission on
the flrst Monday in April, 1899.
foi Elizabeth , *aun having made application
twelve months support out of the estate ,,t
w t Mann, and appraisersdciy appointed to
a * >artsaul ” having tiled their return, all
persons concerned are hereby required to show
cause before the court of ordinary of said conn
tv mi the first jfondiy in Feb., ’99. whv said <*P
plication should nut be granted.'This jam J.
«Ki!SKSSS^ lic road commencing > S2l^i!ilL'?SC ,
near the 4sth sid*- tr.u k Oil
the Southern R It and leading ul ng said K R
west through the hunts of Dock Miller, Dock
Miller, Acy Scales ami j j Simpson, Southern
* ruit and Colinization company, and entersei t
-
ford l n £ th place, ? ,,ren,en two miles and Temple of road near the Stan
east Bremen It appear*
that reviewers appointed for that purpi >ne have
a favorable report; stating that said road
maikcdlttne Swi
Ordinary,
Notice is hereby given that the undersigned
has applied to the ordinary of said countv for
leave to sell land belonging to the estate ol Mrs
distribution. m m waldrop, for the payment of debts ar.d tot
Said application will be heard at
the regular term ot the court of ordinary for
said county, to be held on the tirst Monday in
February, 1899 j. This the second day of jau, ’ 90 .
H. WAtpiujc. Ailministiatoi
upon the estate of Mrs. m. m. Waldrop.
Notice is hereby given to all creditors of the
estate ed, rerder of john Lewis, late of said county .deceas¬
to in an account of liM'ir demands to
me within the time prescribed by law, properly
made out. And all parties indebted to suid de¬
ceased are hereby requested to make immediate
pay i. ent to the undersigned. This January 2nd
1899- It. u. Hi roHHBoN.
Executor ol john Lewis.
A few doses of Dr. Af, A, Simmons
Liver Medicine will do more for a weak
Stomach than a prolonged course of any
other medicine.
CHATTANOOCfA, ROME & COLE MACS R,
EUGENE E. JONES, RECEIVER
Passenger Schedule in Effect May 8tli, 18 :> 8 .
Northbound,
f’assr. No. 1 Accomod. N" 11
Leave—
•* Carrollton 20:0 p m 5:16 am.
“ Bremen 2.27 p. m. 6.10 a. m.
“ Buchanan 2.44 p. m- 6,50 a. ui
‘ Cedartowu 3.27 p. in. No. 11. 8.20 a. m.
“ Rome 4.10 p. m. 11.30 p. til.
“ Suiminuervilte 5.23 p. m. 1.55 p. 141 .
“ Lafayette 5.59 p. in. 3.35 p. ui.
“ Chickaniauga 6.27 p. in. 4.30 p. m.
Arrive Chattanooga 7.oop.m. o.OO p. m.
SOUTHBOUND.
I’assr. No. 2 . Aeonuxi. No. 12
Leave,- .
Chattanooga 8.30 a. m. 5.00 a. in.
Ckickamauga 9.04 a. in. 6.25 a. m.
Lafayette 9.32 a. m. 7.30 a. m.
Summerville 1080. a. m. 9.28 a. n>.
Rome 11.20 a. in, 12.10 p. in.
Cedartown 12.04 a. in. No. K! 3.14 p. ni
Buchanan 12.47 p. m. 5.10 p, n»
Bremen 1:04 p. in 1:45 p. m
Ar. Carrollton 1 :c0 pm. 7 :00 pm.
Connections are made at Chattanooga, Term. ■
Canollton, Rome, Ga.; Ga., Cedartown, with other Oa.: Hrea.en, Ga., ami
lines at those points
Trains 3 and 4 (Sunday only) offer a splendid op ¬
portunity for those desiring to visit Ch.ekainan
ga aud the National M sitnry Park or to spend
j be day information at Chattanooga imply on C. Lookout alt. For
any to B. Wilburn. T-»ftfo
Manager, Rome, Ga. or T. O. Xidgdill agent
Bucli&uan u».
riu B&NffER-ttSSSENGtBS
and the Farm and Trade for
only I Eighty cents, or
the ConstitlU 011 ttlld the Farm
'
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Of!')' r
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