Newspaper Page Text
THE BLACKSHEAR TIMES.
VOL. VI.
The maintenance in the field of the
French, German and Russian armies
would cost §200,000,000 per month.
England probably is the only great
power which can point to a decrease in
the total strength of its military estab
lishment during the past twelve months.
The British army is less numerous by
about a thousand men than it was a year
ago. __
The Anti-Slavery Society of Great
Britain is organizing an armed expedi
tion to proceed to Lake Tanganyika, in
Central Africa. The object is to police
the lake and prevent the passage of slave
caravans. The country to the west of
Tanganyika has for years been the chief
source of slaves.
A French electrical journal estimates
that the total length of the telegraph
wires (including submarine cables) of the
world in use at the present time exceeds
half a million miles. Four-fifths of the
land wires are in Europe and America.
All the submarine cables together give a
length of 80,050 miles.
' Idaho is making strenuous efforts to
secure admission to the Union. But the
New A T ork Telegram thinks that “Idaho
ought to be made to wait a little longer.
The voting population of the Territory is
about 15,000 as against 45,000 for AA'asli
ington, 40,000 for Montana, 41,000 for
North Dakota and 70,000 for South
Dakota.”
A bridge across the English Channel
is not among the improbabilities of the
future. The project is pronounced feas
ible by competeut engineers, and a late
number of the Scientific American con
tains the plans aud estimates for such a
structure, which were discussed at a
meeting of the Iron and Steel Institute at
Paris during the past year.
The numbers of cloisters and monks iu
Spain have increased with astounding
rapidity of late years. Spain now has
29,220 monks and 25,000 nuns in 1330
■cloisters and 179 orders. In Barcelona
alone there are 163 cloisters for women.
In the last fourteen years the number of
monks in Spain has been sextnpled and
the number of nuns has been doubled.
Railroad speed is increasing, but,
according to the New York Press , not
railroad safety. Five thousand two
hundred and eight-two persons were
Rilled in railway accidents in the year
ending June 30, 1888, and 25,888 in
jured. Defective heating and lighting
apparatus was the cause of a great many
of the fatalities, and defective couplings
of the injuries. AVith the adoption of
improved methods of lighting, heating
and coupling cars these figures would be
•cut down one-half at least.
A magazine rifle is to be served out to
the English volunteer force. This, ob
serves the Philadelphia Press, leaves our
army and National Guard the only troops
belonging to any civilized power which
are unprovided with a magazine gun and
r.till use the antiquated breech-loader—
to-day as far behind the times as the
muzzle-loader was once behind it.
France uses a gun with nine charges,
Austria one with five, Italy with twelve
and Germany one matching the rest.
Russia is still experimenting and so is
Turkey. Every one of these powers has
adopted a smokeless powder and a bullet
about one-third the weight of the one
still used by our army,with its antiquated
ideas. Our staff and the AYashington au
thorities will probably wait until a war
is upon us before taking these plain
steps.
The last edition of the United States
■Official Register, or “Blue Book,” con
tains a list of all the employes of the Gov
ernment, with the exception of those in
the general post il service, together with
the officers of the Army and Navy, the
total number of names amounting to
58,000. The voiume shows that 16.234
persons are employed in the city of Y> ash
ington. 12,215 being men, and 4021 wo
men These are divided among the several
.
Departments as follows: Treasury. 2334
men 130S women: AAar. 1749 men. <9
,
women: Navy, 1430 men. 27 women;
Interior. 2308 men. 801 women; Post
■office, 481 men, 147 women: Justice, 82
men, 15 women; Agriculture, 156 men,
120 women: Labor. 44 men. 9 women;
Government Printing Office. 1504 men.
709 women: Washington City Govern
rr.ent, 906 men. 667 women: Totai
11,081 men and 3S94 women, The re
maining 125 are employed chiefly in the
smaller Executive offices of the Govern
ment and at the CapitoL
BLACKSHEAB, GA. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20. 1890.
AT THE CAPITAL.
WHAT TEE FIFTY-FIRST CON
GRESS IS DOING.
APPOINTMENTS BY PRESIDENT HARRISON—
MEASURES OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE
AND ITEMS OF GENERAL INTEREST.
Among the bills introduced for refer
ence, on Tuesday, was one by Air. Pierce
to create an agricultural commission to in
vestigate the present depressed condition
of the agricultural interests of the country.
Air. Hoar introduced a hill to pre
scribe in part the manner of the election
of members of congress, and it was re
ferred to the committee on privileges and
elections. It provides that in all states
of the United States representatives districts to
congress shall be for the now
prescribed by law, until an made apportionment by
of representatives shall be con
gross according to the census to be taken
in 1880. The object of the bill is to pre
vent gerrymandering in the states. The
bill appropriating §100,000 for a passed. public
building at Burlington, resumed consideration la., was of
The senate
the bill to providea temporary government The
for the territory of Oklahoma.
Blair educational bill was then taken up
and Air. Blair continued his opening With
speech in support of that measure.
out concluding, Air. Blair yielded business, to a
motion to proceed to executive
and after a session for that purpose, the
senate adjourned. Wednesday morning in
The house met
continuation of Tuesday’s session, Do
bate on the proposed code of rules wns
continned. Air. Morse, of Massachusetts,
iu the course of a defense of the proposed the
code said: “The business men of
country arc demanding business legisla
tion, and that the “do nothing policy" shall of
congress lor the last ten years
change, and how shall you change it
without amending the rules that bind the
body, hand and foot !’’
In the senate, on Wednesday, Air. Sher
man called up the concurrent resolution
heretofore reported by him from the eom
mittee on foreign relations, congratulating Brazil
the people of the United States of
on their adoption of a republican form of
government. The resolution is in these
words: “That the United States of Amer
ica congratulates the people of Brazil on
their just and peaceful assumption of tlic
powers, duties and responsibilities of sell
government, based on the free consent of
the governed, and on their recent adoption
of a republican form of unanimously. government.”
The resolution was and passed
Between 1,300 1,500 persons as
sembled in the house galleries Wednesday
evening to listen to arguments upon the
proposed code of rules, and had the
pleasure of looking down upon about
thirty representatives: Afcssrs. Alanseur
of Missouri, Lane of Illinois, Rogers of
Arkansas, Springer of Illinois, Brookshire
of Jndjana, Shively of Indiana, Wike of
Illinois ,.mi Pierce of Tennessee, de
nouced (la ridings of the speaker, while
they were defended by Messrs. Aloore of
New Hampshire, Dannell of Minnesota,
[Iouk of Tennessee and J, D. Taylor of
Ohio.
As usual, on Thursday, the Democrats
objected to the approval of the journal usual, ;
ns usual, a roll-call was needed; ns
the Democrats refrained from voting,and
ns usual, the speaker counted a quorum,
and declared the journal Consideration approved, by of a
vote yeas 141, nays 1.
the code of rules was then proceeded
with.
NOTES,
The senate on Thursday confirmed the
nomination of Blanche K. Bruce to be re
corder of deeds for the District of Co
lumbia.
It was not Atlanta’s colored lawyer, C.
H. J. Taylor, as was reported, but II. C.
C. Astwood, ex-minister to Ilayti. whe
created the sensation at the Riggs House
Monday evening.
All members were present at the cabinet
meeting Tuesday, including Secretaries
Blaine and Tracy, This is the first tinn
there has been a full attendance in several
weeks.
At a secret caucus of the republicar onpriv
members of the senate committee
ileges and elections Thursday the republican afternoon,
it was decided to seat two
senators from Montana.
Senator Blair has been consuming the
time of the senate for four days speaking
>*n his educational bill, He has tired the
senators out and the chances of the bill
passing are waning every day. Indeed,
the opponents of the bill are working
vigorously to defeat it.
A bill introduced by Senator Edmunds
Tuesday to provide a public school system
fof Utah is a most elaborate and compre
hensive measure and with great minute
ness provides about all the legislation affairs ne in C
essary for the conduct of school
the Territory. One of the objects of the
bill is to diminish Mormon influence.
The secretary of the treasury, on
AA'ednesday. issued a second call on tin
national bank depositories for a reduction
of public balances held by them, to bt
paid on or before March 1, 1890. The
call is for about the same amount as the
first call, except tliat banks having but
small amounts to transfer have been a-ked
for the full amount in order to close out
the transaction.
The house committee on patents Thurs
day, by unanimous vote, instructed Mr.
Simonds, chairman of the sub-committee,
to make a favorable report on the house
bill, 3914. known as the international
copyright bill. The bill allows foreign
withers to take out a copyright in the
l nited States upon the same footing as is
dlowed American authors, provided the
rype-setting. pnnting and binding is done
j wholly in the United States.
j On Saturday last Senator Ingalls' mail
itamed a small pine w rapped and box. little four
inches long, two inches wi de a
trict; Joseph Ounsley. third district.
Georgia Christopher C. Ilaley, first dis
trict : Joseph II. Thibodeau, third dis
trict; Marion Bcthune, fourth district;
Isaac Becket, fifth district; AYilliaw A.
Harris, sixth district.
The senate, on Tuesday, continued tlic
following nominations: Robert Adams,
Jr., of Pennsylvania, to be envoy extraor
dinary and minister plenipotentiary to the
more than an inch thick. On being
opened the box was found to contain one
of the Union Metallic' Company's “Blur
cartridges, with the following inscription cull
In black ink: “Election pills for old
or for Ingalls, from Jackson, Aiiss. Come
md sec us, Old Nutgnlls.”
The President, on AVeduesday, nomi
nated to be census supervisors: A ir
ginia—Frank AV. At inst-on, third district.
Alabama—Jack R. Wilson, fourth di s
trict. South Carolina—Samuel J. Poinier,
list district ; Delevan Yates, second dis
trict; F. AV. Macusker, fourth district.
Mississippi-—Edward Aldrich, first dis
united States of Brazil, now credited to
the empireof Brazil. To be l nited States
attorneys: Samuel AV. Hawkins, tor
the western district of Teniies
see; Hugh B. Lindsay, for the eastern
district of Tennessee; John Rubin, forthe
middle district of Tennessee. To be
United States marshals: .1. G. Watts, for
the western district of Virginia. Post
masters: C. L. Pritchard, at Front Royal,
Vu.; C. Guirkin, at Elizabeth City, N. C.
The senate has confirmed R. O. Bush,
collector of customs at Charleston, S. C.
United States Marshals—A. E. Buck,
northern district of Georgia; B. AN.
AValker. middle and southern districts of
Alabama; John C. Slocum, surveyor-gen
eral of Florida. Postmasters—Alabama
—L. Cornish, Demopolis; C. AY. Childs,
Marion; II. Perdue, Greenville. Florida
—J. II. Harden, Bartow; O. S. Oakes,
Fernandina. Supcrvi sore Census—Missis
sippi—J. W. Chandler, second district.
Florida—J. AV. Tompkins, second dis
trict. Tennessee—W. C. Hunt, first
district.
COTTON STATI8TIC8
NINK-TENTH OF THE COTTON HAS LEFT THE
PLANTATIONS.
Cotton returns of the department of
agriculture for February gives local esti
mates of the proportion of the crop which
has left the plantation. The consolida
tion make 90.4 per forward. cent, leaving About 9.0 nine- pet
cent, to still go
tenths of the crop has, therefore, been
reported in sight, or in small stocks unre
ported iu the hands of country merchants,
or in transit. The stnte averages are as
follows: Virginia 87, North Carolina 89,
South Carolina 90, Georgia 90, Florids
93, Alabama 90, Mississippi 91, Louisiani
89, Texas 92, Arkansas 90, Tennessee 87.
The average date of the close of Georgia, picking
is about the same us last yeur in
Mississippi, Louisiana and Tennessee, and
is earlier in the Cnrolinns, Florida and
Arkansas and later in Alabama and Texas.
The average of county dates is December
12, ranging from November to January.
The proportion of seed sold to oil mills
has been found difficult to estimate,but is
apparently not much over twenty-five pet
cent, of the crop, possibly The between largest 900,
000 and 1,000,000 tons. pro
portion reported is in Louisiana, followed
by Georgia, Arkansas, Texas, Mississippi,
Alabama and the Carolinas. The average
state prices, as consolidated, are: The
Carolinas and Georgia, 18 cents per hush
el; Tennessee, 17; Florida, 16; Alabama
and Mississippi, 15; Louisiana, 14; Texas
and Arkansas, 13. Returns of quality and are
Very high, except in Virginia North
Carolina, and in Tennessee and Arkansas.
It is superior in all states of the gulf coast.
The per centage of lint from seed cotton
is as follows; Virginia, 39; North Caro
lina, 31.5; Bouth Carolina, 82.7; Georgia,
32.2; Florida, 32.3; Alabama, 82.6; Mis
sissippi, 32.3; Louisiana, 32.5; Texas,
32.4; Arkansas, 82.2; Tennessee, 32.
The damage by insects was the greatest ir
Arkansas and Texas. In Florida, Alaba
ma, Alississippi, Tennessee and North
Carolina it was general, but less severe.
Georgia and South Carolina suffered less.
The loss from the boll worm was in Geor
gia, Alabama, Lousiana and Texas greatei
than that from tne caterpillar.
THE MORMONS DEFEATED.
I ALT LAKE CITY IS NOW UNDER CONTROL
OF GENTILES.
A dispatch from Balt Lake City, Utah,
concerning the election there, says: Ev
erything is now quiet. Business has re
sumed its normal condition, and were it
not for the decorations upon the houses
of the Gentiles, there would be no incs
cation of the great political battle which
closed Tuesday night. Official returns
give George A. Scott, Gentile, for mayor,
a majority of 809; Louis H. Yams, Gen
tile, for recorder, 539; J. B. AValton,
Gentile, for treasurer, 659; E. R. Ciute,
Gentile, for assessor, 466; J. M. Young,
Gentile, for marshal,773. The remainder
of the general ticket, including majorities fifteen
eouncilmen was elected by gives
ranging from 300 to 400. This
them control of the municipal council
for the first time in the history of the
city. Mormon organs while they concede
their defeat, specifically charge that it
was accomplished by frauds of the most
flagrant character, and these they de
scribe in detail. There is no suggestion,
however, of anything but submission.
A PLUCKY WOMAN
During the third act of the opera of
<qije Ro#e of Castile’’ at the Academy of
M|aic in K jchmond, Va., while Emma
j^u,h>ott was singing a solo, an alarm of
fire raiged in tLe crowded house,
by the fume8 of burnlDg paper.
Miss Abbott continued her song, however,
during the consternation that ensued,
Ty ie alarm soon subsided and the opera
proceeded.
SOUTHERN NOTES.
INTERESTING NEWS FROM ALL
POINTS IX THE SOUTH.
GENERAL PROGRESS AND OCCURRENCES
WHICH ARK HAPPENING BICl.OW MA
SON’S and dixon’s line.
A general strike is threatened in the
Alabama mining region.
The twenty-sixth Buudes Suengerfest with at
New Orleans, La., was op.ened great
eclat Thursday night.
Ed Johnson and Jim Butts, murderers
of Captain Miller, who was killed last
October, were hanged at Perry, Ga., on
Thursday.
Thomas A. Edison, the inventor, is in
Charlotte, N. 0. He is there to examine
the mineral lands of that section, and says
lx; may invest in some mine.
Benjamin F. Lendhart, a general mer
chant doing business at Lowell, Gaston
county, N. (A, made an assignment Wed
nesday to Alfred Andrews. Liabilities
about §11,000; assets §2,000.
A dispatch from Richmond, Ya., says
that the bill to incorporate the Pan
American Railway and Navigation Wednesday, Com
pany and passed the legislature without amend
went to the governor
ment.
The Atlanta, Ga., Chamber of Com
merce held its first annual banquet on
Thursday night. Among the guests Speeches were
many prominent northern discussion men. South’s
were made in the of the
interests and progress.
There is a strong movement to have
the study of agriculture introduced into
the public schools of the rural districts of
the South. Hon. I*. J. Berckmans, of
Augusta, Ga., and lion. Daniel Dennett,
of Mississippi, are pushing the matter lie
fore the public.
President E. T. Barnes, of the Alliance
Peanut Union, who resides at Newsom’s,
in Southampton county’, Va., announce!
officially that the union has resolved that
the minimum prices of farmers’ stock
of cleaned peanuts shall lie OJ cents pet
pound.
The directors of the Tampa, Florida,
Branch Alliance exchange met recently
in that city to transact important busi
ness, and a general invitation was ex
tended to all the suh-Alliances in that
county to be present and discuss matters
pertaining to the welfare of (lie order.
Citizens of Mobile, Ala., on Wednes
day, completed a quarter million dol
lar subscription to the preferred stock of
the Mobile, Jackson and Kansas City
railroad, the amount needed to secure the
building of the road from Mobile to
Jackson, Aiiss., in one year from date.
Wednesday night all (lie prisoners in
Durham county, N. (!., jail made their
escape. During the night a rear window
was broken, and a key was handed in tied
to a long pole. The key fitted the door
if the cells. The combination luc k was
unlocked and the prisoners released them
lelvcs.
A dispatch of Wednesday, from Pied
mont, Ala., says: A great crowd is here
from many states. The sales of lots came
to §125,000. In addition to the work*
heretofore announced, a hundred ton
furnace is secured Main street lots were
sold up to §125 a front foot.
President E. T. Htoek house, of the
South Carolina State Alliance, has been to
Charleston to organize a sub-AUiancc in
that county, and now there is only one
comity in tlic state, Beaufort, that has no
Alliance. The total membership steady now
amounts to over 80,000, with a in
crease every month.
The trustees of the Wednesday, State Baptist decided Fe
male university, on Raleigh, N. C.
by ballot to locate it at
Durham had offered §50,000 and a site
for the college; Oxford offered §30,000
and a site; Raleigh offered §25,000 and
S site; Greensboro offered §10,000 and a
site.
The Willingham Lumber company, of
Chattanooga, Term., was, on Thursday,
served with processes praying exceed for §100,- a re
;eiver. The liabilities will
100. The assets are not yet known. The
company became embarrassed by endors
ng for the elevator company which failed
«mc months ago.
A convention of southern ice manufac
turers, representing three million dollars
of invested capital, was held at Chatta
nooga on Thursday, and an ice manufac
turers’ exchange was formed. Officers-—
president, W. J. Rushton, Birmingham,
Ala.; vice-president, C. AY. B< iz, ( hatta
nooga; secretary, Abe Ellis, Macon, Ga.;
treasurer, Louis' P. Hurt, New Orleans.
A shipping rate of §6 was fixed.
A dispatch from Birmingham, Ala.,
says: A11 efforts to settle the strike at
the Birmingham rolling mill have failed.
President AYeib, of the Amalgamated
Association, returned to Pittsburg been
Wednesday, his mission having
fruitless. The company refuses to rec
ognize the association in any way, and
the men refuse to give up their plan to
organize a local lodge. Hie fight now
promises to be a long and bitter one.
A south bound special train, on the
Alabama Great Southern railroad, colli
ded with a north bound passenger train,
on Wednesday, forty miles south of Bir
mingham, Ala. Engineer Ed Doolittle,
of the passenger train, iv a killed in
itantly. Several passeng< w ere severely
bruised, but none seriously injured. filled I he
special was composed of sleepers
with German singing soc ieties en route
from Chicago aud Cincinnati to tlx
sangerfest at New Orleans.
The Celtic literature is of very an
cient origiD, all the old Celt* having a
literary class called “bards.” The an
cient Irish wrote in a rude alphabet
called the Ogham. The people of Gaul
have left comparatively few inscriptions,
and these are often much Latinized.
THREATENED TROUBLE.
A GREAT STRIKE EMINENT IN THE AI.A
HAMA MINING REGIONS.
Dispatches Teun., to the from Tradesman, Alabama of Chat
tanooga, the min
ing regions indicate that a general strike
is threatened throughout the state, in
volving thousands of coal miners and
causing fifteen or twenty blast, furnaces
to close down, Tradesman represen t n
tives have closely investigated the situa
tiod, and state that the strike inaugurated
a few days ago, when COO miners of the
Debardeleben company qut work threat
ens to be the commencement of a gen
eral strike. The Debardeleben miners
quit work because the company
declined to accede lo tehir demands.
First, that they be furnished posts, ties
and rails. Second, that no boy under
seventeen years of ago bo permitted to
work in the mines. Third, that a com
mittee be permitted to regulate working referred
hours in each mine. Atiuers have
the matter to a committee of the Knights
of Labor, and await their decision.
CURRENT NEWS.
CONDENSED FROM THE TELE
GRAPH AND CARLE.
TIMNOH THAT HAPPEN FROM DAY TO DAY
THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, CULLED
FROM VARIOUS SOURCES.
Another ballot for speaker was taken in
flic Iowa legislature Monday without re
sult.
The first session of the fourth annual
meeting of American newspaper AVeduesday. publish
ers, was opened in New York
The men indicted for attempting to
bribe the Cronin jurors pleaded guilty been on
Wednesday. Sentence hat not yet
passed. that the
The Paris Rouvier announces
total government revenue for 1H8I) was
§(114,200,000, and total expenditures,
§021,400,000.
The Philadelphia and Heading compa
ny’s North Ashland, Pa., colliery, shut
down indefinitely Tuesday, throwing live
hundred men and hoys out of employ
ment.
Emperor William, of Germany, has
caused an order to be issued prohibiting his
the exhibition of portraits of himself,
ancestors, or any of his family without
his sanction first being obtained. His
pictnr.es were being put up with cigarettes,
A dispatch from Pitsburg, Pa., suys:
Thursday morning the boiler of a locomo
tive exploded on the Pittsburg, McKees
port und A'otighiogheny railroad, thirty
miles south of there, killing one man ana 1ms
injuring four others, one of whom
since died.
A dispatch from Todden, North Dako
ta, says: Between 800 and 1,000 Indians,
credited to Devil's Lake agency, are whol
ly destitute of clothing, and in furnished the Inst
stages of starvation. Unless
with food, elothingand-medicine at once,
the: Indians will die like dogs.
At Now York, Tuesday. Judge O’Brien
handed down his decision in the celebra
ted sugar trust ease. He decided in sub
stance,that t lx- company should be allowed
to continue its business, but continues the
injunction restraining the trust from
transferring its property, or doing any
other acts that might interfere with tin
rights of the plaintiff.
A committee of flic Canton Oyster.ex
change, of Baltimore, was before the
committee of the legislature Wednesday,
having cure of the Chesapeake bay and
its tributaries. The oyster men favor the
passage of a law which will stop the
catching of oysters, for any purpose, after
April 1st. Baltimore and neighboring
towns are becoming alarmed about the
possible loss of their oyster crop and
trade.
At a session of the American News
paper Publishers’ Association in New
York, Thursday, the following resolution
was introduced: “That the American
Newspaper Publishers’ Association is in
hearty sympathy with the efforts now
being made by American authors to ob
tain from congress fuller security for lit
erary property, and we believe the pro
posed international national copyright honor bill and to be wel in
the lntbrc.it of the
fare.”
THE TICKET AQENT8.
MEETING or THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIA
TION IN JACKSONVILLE, FLA.
The International Association of Rail
road Ticket agents held its second annual
session in acksonville, Fla., on Wednes
day. Two hundred and sixty delegate!
were present, with at»out 100 ladies who
accompany them. They come from every
state in the union and from Canada and
Mexico. The officers of the association
arc: Mr. Brown, ticket agent Atlanta,
Ga., president; station, M. Cleveland, G. Carroll, Ohio, union
passenger secre
tary, and T. AY. Venneman, union station,
Evansville, Ind., treasurer. The associa
tion decided to hold its next annual meet
ing at Denver.
INDIGNANT FRENCHMEN.
THE MANITOBA LEGISLATURE ABOLISHES
OFFIt IAI. USE OF FRENCH LANGUAGE.
A special from AS innepeg, Manitoba,
says the Manitoba legislature on Thursday
decided to abolish the official use of the
French language in the country by a vote
of 20 to 10. The 1 reach speaking people
are very indignant over this action and
«enou* trouble is feared, particularly il
Premier Green way carries out his propo
sition to abolish Roman Catholic s set parate
schools. The Catholics are loud iu their
threats against the government.
NO 20
THE WORLD IS A.LL RIGHTVJ^
We way rail at the world just as much as wi
please,
Claim that life is unfair in distributing
pelf;
Rut the fact becomes plain, when reviewed!
at our ease, _
That the world is ail right, and the fault's
in one’s self;
For it’s certain, however its favors are
shown.
That this world is the best one we’ve ever
yet known;
And unless we act moro and growl less here
below.
It may prove the best world that we ever
will know.
—New York Press.
PITH AND POINT.
Dime museum freaks, unlike poets, are
not born but made.
“Where are you going, my pretty maid?” I
“Pm going to sneeze—atehno,” she said.
— Washington Star, t
When the milkmaid is awkward and
fretful the cow generally turn pail.—.
Chicago Sun.
Barber—“Excuse me, sir, but did I
cut you?” Victim—(feeling the blood
trickle down his cheek)—“I didn't hoar
any fire-arms go oil.”- Time.
“What is sweeter than to have a friend
you can trust?” asked Sawkins. “To
have a friend who will trust you,” re
plied Dawkins .—Hartford Times.
Mr. Crook (to chum)—“So you’ve been
getting married to Maria during my ab
sence? Who was best man?” Woeful
Husband—“Maria .”—Pick Me Up.
Molly lias her sealskin sacque
And Willlo has his sled,
But dear papa’s pocketbook abed.
Is almost sick
-Kearney Enterprise.
The poet says that “’Tis love which
makes the world go round.” It also
makes the young man “go round” quite
frequently Sunday nights.— Toledo Com
mercial.
The weary brain will shirking, plot and plan
Homo way of duty
It's queer how hard a lazy man
Will work to keep Washington from working.
— Capital.
Census-taker—“What is your age,
madam?” “Ancient Madam—“I am
twenty-one, sir.” Census-taker—
“Madam misunderstands me. I want to
know your ago now .”—Lawrence Ameri
can.
Friend^ ■ “'You received a good many
presents, didn’t you?” Bride—“Yes,
and just think how nice—most of them
are from married friends, and we won’t
have to give them any in return.”
Yankee /Hade.
Mine eyes fill have seen the coming of the woe«
Russian grip,
It is going through the country on a kind of j
flying trip; the people above the
It is seizing all just
upper still lip,
And it goes sneezing on.
Chicago Tribune.
Kitty—“Why did you accept Mr.
Hautboy? You surely do not love him,
do you?” Maud “No; I just became
engaged (■> him so that he wouldn’t have
a chance to propose to Minnie Smith,
whom 1 hate, und who would be sure to
accept him."— Lawrence. American.
Cutting Off Money For Use.
A tall, black-whiskered man was lean
ing over tlx* desk at the Continental
Hotel last night conversing with several
friends. Pulling a plethoric wallet from
his vest pocket fie took therefrom a long
sheet of flve-dollar bills, just us they
came from the Treasury Department.
His friend inquired what they were.
“Only advertisements,” was the reply.
“They're given away now with tea in
stead of Ilia usual chrumos.” By this
time there was quite a crowd around the
black-whiskered man, eagerly examining
the bills. Home thought they were
genuine bills, while others, who had
never seen hills in this shape before, as
there was nearly a yard of them, really und
thought they were advertisements
would not have bought the whole lot for
five cents.
“You’re all just like the fellow out in
St. Louis. He was a clerk in astore.and
when I had made a purchase I asked him
for a pair of shears and proceeded to cut
off a bill. You should have seen the
man’s eyes. They stood out so that you
could have knocked them off with a
stick. The outcome of the matter waa
that he refused to take them, Just at
that minute the proprietor came from the
office and, seeing the status of the ease I
after I had ’•
discharged the man, hut, had good ex
plained tho case, we all a
laugh. them in that way?
“Why do I carry little
I guess—well—I suppose to have a
fun; that’s all. I have a friend, a cashier
in q bank,aud he lets ine have them."—•
Philadelphia Inquirer.
A Queer Trio.
Philip AValker, of Salt Creek, AV. Va.,
during tue first summer months had an
old turkey hen come up with one young
turkey and one’quite young and small
quail. Both the young turkey and young
quail continued to follow and feed with
the old turkey hen, who manifested equal
maternal care and tenderness over eachJ
and now both are full grown, and attwi-1
light the old turkey hen flies up to her
r(rte t on the apple tree in the yard, and
young turkey takes a roost on one
side of her, aud the full grown, beauti
f(j , an(1 fat * u on the other . This trio
quitc h app v an J content, as il
from . the same consanguineous on#*, j
4
Paris sends to foreign countries annu
ally §400,000 worth of bonbons.