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THE FUTURE CITIZEN
“FLY-DROPHOBI A"
“Swat Early and Avoid tlie Rush.”
The early fly’s the one to swat.
It comes before the weather’s hot,
and sits around and files its legs,
and lays at least ten million eggs,
and every egg will bring a fly to
drive us crazy by and by. Oh every
fly that skips our swatters will have
a million sons and daughters, and
countless first and second cousins,
and aunts and uncle, scores of doz
ens, and fifty-seven billion nieces;
so knock the blamed thing all to
pieces. And every niece and every
aunt—unless we swat them so they
can’t— will lay enough dodgasted
eggs to fill up ten five-gallon kegs
and all these eggs ere summer hies,
will bringforth twenty trillion
flies. •
And thus it goes, an endless
chain, so all our swatting is in vain,
unless we do that swatting soon, in
Maytime ar.d in early June. So
men and brothers, let us rise, gird
up our loins and swat the flies!
And sisters, leave your cozy bowers
where you have wasted golden
hours; with ardor in your souls and
eyes, roll up your sleeves and swat
the flies!—Southern Farming.
COINING A NEW WORD
We hav» taken the liberty tocoin
a new word “Fly-drophobia” as a
head for the poem on flies by our j
patron saint and staff poet, Walt.
Mason. We don’t know just exact-
what the word means, but feel sure
it don’t mean any harm.
If fear of water is denominated
hydrophobia and a boy who is afraid j
of books is said to have liber-pho-1
bia, then we don’t see why Uncle
Walt’s ailment may not be diagnos
ed as “fly-drophobia, , although
there is an extra euphoneous sylla
ble thrown in for good measure.
1*. S. You may spell it “Phly-dro-
phobia” if you prefer; it is hard
enough for us like it is.
At a recent conference it was dis
covered that all but two of the one- '
hundred ministers present were
born and raised in the country.
What’s the matter with the towns.
It’s easy enough to be pleasant
When your automobile’s in trim,
But the man worth while
Is the man who can smile,
When he has to go home on the rim.
FOOL KILLER LOAFING ON THE JOB
By
One Overlooked
This is the dull season when the
space writer and the paragraph
man with the protruding funny
bone proceed to sharpen their pencils
and dash off a half column fillupper
under the above caption. We are
regaled at painfully regular enter-
vaL by the story of the genius who
climbed a tree to prune it and sat on
a limb while he sawed it off be
tween himself and the tree; but we
find no mention of the further fact
—equally true—that the youth pick
ed himself up, rubbed his bruises
and made such minute investiga
tion of the cause of his mishap that
he developed into an expert in both
forestry and philosophy. We are
told about the boy with the sorrel
mane and the freckled countenance
who was strewing guano through a
tin horn in an old orchard cotton
patch aifd spied a' nest of caterpill
ars amoung the branches over his
head, when he very promptly turn
ed his horn up and undertook to
eradicate them by pouring a hand
ful of strong guano through the
horn literally “up-on” them ; but
we are left in darkness about how
the experiment developed him into
an orchardist, a chemist and an
occuHst, or at least a tinsmith.
It was no less a personage than Sir
Isaac Newton, of whom the story
was first told that he sawed out a
block in his room door to make a
cat-hole for the free egress and in
gress of his pet tabby, then took
the door off its hinges and sawed
a smaller block on the other corner
to make a small hole for her kitten
to pass through. But the perennial
phun-makers forget who it was,
and see only the ridiculous side.
We are amused by the story of
the mythical landlubber who took
a boat ride and finding the water
accumulated a few inches deep in
the boat proceeded to bore a hole in
the bottom to let it run out: but we
are not advised whether he after
wards became a great mariner, or
invented the hydraulic ram.
Every great achievement and
every worth while performance is
the result of many failures and one
success, and in most cases, the ex
periments were paved witlr egreg
ious blunders, the result- not of ab
sent-mindedness, but of mental con
centration.
If we compiled a list of “Mod
ern American Blunderers,” Thos.
A. Edison and Luther Burbank and
Dr. Wiley would probably head
the list; but out of the ashes of
miny miscarried plans they have
each erected a structure that will
endure through the ages. And so
through the whole catagory of bu
rn,.n achievements. Every honest
efiort is worth while; even if we
never succeed, the lesson of our trial
will add something to the sum
of human experience, if not human
happiness.
The wcrld has more respect for
the fellow who tries to do some
thing and fails, than for the one
who tries to do nothing and suc
ceeds.
VACATION TIME
All the world is set to rhyme
Now it is vacation-time,
And a swelling flood of joy
Brims the heart of every boy,
No more rote and no more rule,
No more staying after school
When the dreamy brain forgets
Tiresome tasks the master sets;
Nothing but to play and play
Through an endless holiday.
Morn or afternoon, may all
Swing the bat and catch the ball;
Nimble-footed, race and run
Through the meadows in the sun,
Chasing winged scraps of light,
Butterflies in darting flight;
Or where willows lean and look
Down at others in the brook,
Frolic loud the stream within,
Every arm a splashing fin.
Where the thorny thickets bar,
There the sweetest berries are;
Where the shady banks make dim
Pebbly pools, shy trout swim;
Where the boughs are mossiest,
Builds the humming-bird a nest;—
There are haunts the rover seeks,
Touch of tan upon his cheeks,
And within his heart the joy
Known to no one but a boy.
Vacation time is full of joys
And should make us happy boys—
Let’s remember while we roam
Not to get too far from home;
Not to let our joy bring tears
And keen regrets in after years.
Remember well “an idle brain”
And never go astray again
All the world is set to rhyme
Now it is vacation time.
—The Progressive Teacher.
