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PAGE 4. THE FUTURE CITIZEN. No r FED □£==][ ——— li ■ — ■■ " 1 1 Use ahd Abuse of Self-conceit in Children Preplexing Problem m By DOROTHY DIX "in the ATLANTA GEORGIAN T | 11!=! i=u==n=c=n====IB=^^=iUH=H^^^^S]E 1 "-11" O ' NE of the most perplexing problems that parents con front in rearing a child is whether to foster or sup press his self-conceit. This is a modern psychological trouble. The question never both ered our ancestors. They held that it was a parent’s first duty to bring up a child in humility, and to point out to him his defects and short comings in a way to exterminate every particle of vanity in his soul. Thus, if a girl was homely, her mother dwelt upon her lack of good looks and assured her she’d never catch a husband. If she was awk ward, her family commented on it with the cruel candor displayed on ly by one’s ne.-.rest relatives. If a boy were a little slow in learning, his father impressed on him that he was a fool. If he were timid of nature, he was twitted for being a coward, and if either girl or boy had any shining attractions or vir tues, it was held little short of a sin to mention them. Our parents did only what they conceived to be their duty in cul tivating a meek spirit within us, but many of us bear the scars from their scourging on our souls. Child ren are abnormally self-conscious uod sensitive to criticism. Their households are their lit tie worlds, and nothing that the big world ever does to you in later life ever cuts to the quick as did being held up to scorn in your helpless youth. I know a handsome woman who would be a regal beauty except that she holds herself 50 per cent off of her looks instead of 20 per cent over them, because she has never been able to get over having been habitually addressed by her mother as “you ugly little thing” when she wus a child. 1 know* an other woman who still falls over her feet when she walks because the idea that she was awkward was so ingrained in her youth that she lias never conqured her one defect, and I know many men who only lack self-confidence to make them successes instead of failures. Of course, blatant self-conceit is one of the most intolerable of faults, especially in the young. There is no one whose society we so lothe and whom we go so tar to avoid meeting as the individual whose conversation is one big “1.” Yet ut the same time it is not to be de nied that most successful people are egregious egotists. We can only do what we think we can do, and the measure ot our achievements is the measure of the things that we think we can achieve We must believe absolutely in our selves before we can inspire the confidence of others in us. These bromidic truths should be taken into consideration by parents before they set a remorseless heel on their children’s vanity, for it is an indisputable fact that to make a girl or boy believe that she or he is inferior to otners dooms her or him to a second place in the world. We got only what we demand from our fellow creatures. If we are shy and depreciating and hang back, nobody is going to push us forward. Still less are they going to insist on conferring on us any of the laurel crowns of life. It would be interesting to know how many of the failures that we see all about us are the direct results of the conscientious efforts of par ents to suppress self-conceit in their children. Here is a man of talent, but he lacks “push,” because in his childhood he was taught to be hum ble and stand aside for other people. Here is a man at whose door oppor tunity knocks, but he doesn’t an swer the call, because lie is afraid. His nerve was destroyed by his having had his faith in his own ability dest royed when he was a boy Here is another man who never lets the world find out how great his real abilities are because he is timid and reserved, made that way by his par ents continually reminding him of his faults. On the contrary, it is the bold, the aggressive, those who have faith in their own abilities, who succeed. Those who win ouc are the people who believe they can win and go in to win, and who are assailed by no doubts as to their own superla live ability. Of course, there is a very fine and delicate line to be drawn, on one side of which is proper self-confi dence and on the other self-conceit. The ideal condition is for a man or woman to esteem himself or her self highly, but not too highly, to have faith in his or her ability, but not to be egotistic. Like other ideals, this is seldom realized, and it's too subtle a distinction to be made plain to any child. Therefore, just as a good work ing proposition it is better to en courage a child’s self-conceit than it is to suppress it. By the time he or she has fought his or her battle with the world the world will have pruned down the self-conceit into self-confidence. After all, self-conceit is the greatest motive power in the uni verse. Vanity and the desire to show off have been the real main spring of nine-tenths of the big things that have ever been done. It is because he had to deliver the goods that has made many a boaster a great man. Parents do well to consider this phase of the subject before they try to suppress self-con ceit in their children. The egotist may not be a lovely, altruistic char acter, but he gets there. “Blest Be the Tie” Not one in a thousand who sings the old hymn, “Blest be the Tie that Binds” knows its history. It was written by Rev. John Fawcett, who, in the eighteenth century, was the pastor of a poor church in Yorkshire England. In 177 2 llc felt obliged to accept a call to a London church. His fare well sermon had been preached, six wagons loaded with furniture and books stood by the door, his congregation, men, women, and children were in agony of tears Looking up Mrs. Fawcett said; | “Oh, John, John, I cannot bear this! 1 know not where to go!” “Nor I,” said he, “nor will we go. Unload the wagons and put everything back.” His letter of acceptance was re called ; and he wrote this hymn to commemorate the episode.—Herald The Tipping Koad Leads by the House ot Mendicancy lo the Station of Dishonesty'