Newspaper Page Text
THE NEWS
J. 33. COLLEY & CO.,
VOL. I.
MACHINERY DEPOT.
W. J. POLLARD,
MANUFACTURER and MANUFACTURERS’ AGENT
\
MANUFACTURER OF
W. J. Pollard’s Champion Cotton Gin,
: Feeders & Condensers,^ Smith’s Hand Power Cotton &!Hay Press.
General agent for Grain Threshers and Separators and Agricultural Imple¬
ments, Fairbanks & Co.’s Standard Scales; etc. Talbot & Sons’ Agricultural,
Portable and Stationary and Steam Engines and Boilers, Saw Mills, Grist
Mills, tural Engines, etc. C. & G. Cooper Agricultural, & Ce.’s Traction'Engines, Portable Portable and Agricul¬
Watertown and Stationary Steam En¬
gines, Saw Mills, etc. Goodall & Waters’ Wood Working Machinery. W. L.
• Bradley’s Standard Fertilizers. The Dean Steam Pump. Kreible’s Vibrating
Cylinder Steam Engines. Otto’s Silent Gas Engines. Acme Pulverizing Har¬
row, Clod Crusher and Leveler.
MACHINERY OF ALL KINDS.
Belting, Packing, Brass Fittings, Iron about Fittings, machinery. Iron Pipe, Rubber Hose and
everything that can be used on Hancock or Inspirators, Cotton Finally, Mill Supplies a
specialty. Tools of all kinds, etc. I desire to
make the machine business a complete success, and will guarantee to famish
everything house wanted in that line My on as stock reasonable is the largest terms and at as short notice
as any in the country. and most varied of any
house South. My connection with some of the largest manufactories in the
United States gives me superior advantages for furnishing the best and most
reliable work found anywhere. Be certain to call on
“W_ J. ZPOXjXj.A.IEm M
731,.734 & 736 Reynolds Street,
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA.
New Curtains & Carpets
rOR SPRING TRADE.
NWvMadd ra'ss cur tains—assthetic.
New embroidered tamboured lace curtains.
New New'Algeriue Nottlngha.m lace curtains. curtains.
t^old shot
New double-faced canton flannel curtains.
New raw silk cu rtains and silk damask.
New upholstery goods of every quality.
New -brass, asii, walnut and ebony cornice
poles.
HO 1 ROLLS BRUSSELS CARPETS
At 75 Cents per Yard, Made and Laid.
Three-ply ingrn.iti and cheap carpets.
'Bags, mats, Cnntoa crumb cloths.
Cocoa, a.tad Napior matting).
Floor, Wallpapers stair and and table oil-cloths. decorations.
room
Dado, fringe ;in 1 room borlers.
Hair-cloth, cane, -moss.
GEORGE A. BAILIE’S
ROC atonic Building, 742 Broad St.
JAMES HINES 5
ST7-CCESS0R TO
.V P. H. NOROTN,
Wasliixigton - Ga.,
-DEALER IN—
Groceries* a ill Plantation Supplier
Bagging and Ties, Meat aud
Lard, Flour of the Best Grad?,
Iron, Plows, &e., Salt, Leather,
&c., Provisions of all Sorts.
The Reputation of the House shall be
Maintained. ‘ ‘ The Best Goods at the Lowest
Living Rates. ”
At Mrs. BL Brum Clark’s
Ladie.i will find New and Stylish Neck¬
wear, Look at tho Ferne Laces. They
must The be seen to Styles t>e appreciated. and Bonnets
- Latest in Hats re¬
ceivedweekly Our during the season. Crepe Veils
Mourning Bonnets and
are unsurpassed in quality and price. We
keep New best English Crepes, width, new color Lisse and Kuching, qual¬
Ribbons—©very
ity. Mourning Chil¬
Black Silk Gloves, -wear;
dren’s Hosiery in excellent quality—some
New Styles; Corsets, Hoop Skirts. Tour
mui'es, Bridal Veiling and GlovOs; all kinds
of* Veiling, Brussel’s Nets; Nets of all
kinds. and
Great variety of LACES“-Blaek, White
Cream. Embroidery Silk, best Knitting
Silk, Sewing Silk, Buttons in latest styles,
New Jewelry, Xjusterle?s Jet Bracelets, Ear¬
rings, Fins, «fc©., Com Silver Jewelry and
other styles entirely new; Material forF ancy
Work, Lace Billow Shams, Splashe s, Ac.
New Hair Goods— pretty and besoming
styles. “Polo”Cnpf=. “ Fez!’Caps, “Tam O’Slnn
.ter” Caps—in the new colors for Children.
Hand-Knitted. Goods for Infants, Infants’
Cans in Lace, Velvet and Satin. Our Stock
of Famy Goods is too varied to itemize.
We are prepared to furnish anything in
the Millinkb-v Line, and to fill orders
promptly.' Orders from the country at¬
tended to as soon as received. We never
Disappoint. Our friends in adjacent coun¬
ties will find it to their interest to send to us.
We will make any purchases for them in the
Citv free of commission.
We auarantoo Prices and Quality.
81!) Bboab Stbekt is ihe place to obtain
Stylish Articles for a Lady’s Toilet.
Give us a cn.il.
THE AUGUSTA, ELBERTON^AND CHICAGO RAILROAD.
New extension fancy window cornices. ■v r
New ten-feet window shades, beautiful de¬
New signs. resthefic
seven-feet window shades, pat¬
terns. ,
New six-feet shades, very pretty and very
cheap.
New store shad3s, plain and fancy,
Brooms, Buttons, twine.
brushes, dusters, sweepers, ete.
Engravings, chromos, frames, moldings.
Piano and table covers, table mats, picture
wire.
Competent upholsterers on haul to do al 1
work well and in season at
Murphey, Harmen & Go.,
LINCOL1VTON, GA.,
TOMBSTONES, MONUMENTS,
PUT UP TO LAST.
Work Guaranteed,
Remr to their work throughout Lincoln
county.
Prices Very Low.
P. HANSBERGER,
—MANUFACTURER OF
CIGARS,
—AND DEALER IN
Tobacco, Pipes and
Smokers’ Articles.
•
Cigarettes to the trade a specialty. Manu¬
factory on Ellis street. Fireworks by whole¬
sale.
700 Broad street, AUGUSTA, GA.
W. N. MEROIER,
COTTON FACTOR AND
General Commission Merchant,
No. 3 Warren Block,
Augusta, Ga.
Will give personal and undivided atten¬
tion to the Weighing and Selling of Cotton.
Liberal Cash Advances made on Consign¬
ments,
LINCOLNTON, GA., FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 1883.
«WE ONLY."
Come, wife, dear woman, and sit by me,
For the toilsome day is - done,
And many thoughts in my heart are bom
With the setting of the sun.
Ay, give me your hand, my patient love,
That my own may clasp it tight;
Not dearer it was in the years agone,
Dear wife, than it is to-night."
Old and wrinkled it may be, dear,
But look you, wife, at the shine
Of the ring that has clung to yonr finger
there
Since the day that I made you mine.
*Twas a loDg, long march from our youth to
age.
But Time, be he ne’er so gray,
Can never tarnish the luster, dear,
Of the pledge of our wedding day,
E’en so the truth of a faithful love,
Bom far in the anld lang syne,
In our steadfast hearts, through weal and
woe,
Never has ceased to shine.
There are tears in your eyes, my wife, to¬
night ;
Yon are thinking, dear, I know,
How strange it is that as shadows fall
Wo only are left below—
We only, to sit at the old hearthstone
In the twilight, dear, of life,
While our children wait at the gate 3 above—
When shall we meet them, wife ?
Nay, dry those tears, and be glad with me
That the day is almost done,
And father, mother and children all
May meet—with the set of sun.
—Harper’s Weekly.
DID HE PROPOSE?
c ; u 1 f’ t d ,° y said Martii > Ei
Ierslie, with t a shudder.. It was just
the seductive hour before the gasjets
are lighted and window-blinds turned
down—the delicious twilight when
grate fires shine like burning masses
of ruby, and people sitting beside
them grow strictlv confidential. It
was snowing a little outside; ad the
better, for the click of the crystallized
pearl ag.ainst tlie glass filled up the si
lence, and made the cozy warmth of
the room luxuriously delightful. And
Martin Ellerslie’s pleasant brown eyes,
fixed full on the fire, saw—no one can
tell what or how much they saw !
“ Suppose she should say no,” he
burst out, seemingly apropos to noth
“
ing at all.
“Suppose she shouldn’t,”'observed
Guy Barnes, dryly.
“I tell you, old fellow, its just ex
actly like having a tooth pulled out.
Your friends stand by and say,: ‘Be
a man; it’s nothing.’ It’s not they
who are under tlie doctor’s forceps.”
“Complimentary to Miss Clen.”
“Nonsense. You know what I
mean. But really and truly, I’ve tried
and can’t do it.”
“Very well,” said Barnes, indiffer¬
ently; “then it is an understood thing
that you are to live and die an okl
bachelor.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Ob, I beg pardon. You expect
Fanny is going to propose to you;
that’s it.”
“You are a heartless miscreant,”
Ellerslie cried out, half laughing, half
impatient, as he sprang to his feet and
tossed the remnant of his cigar into the
fire, “and I shall not waste any more
time upon you—unless indeed you go
round to the fair with me.”
“ Where Fanny Clen has a stand ?
Not if I know it! The money market
is rather tight for me at present, and
these fancy fairs are no more than a
den of robbers where a defenseless
young man is concerned.”
And Martin Ellerslie went on his
way alone
The hall was a glitter with gaslights
and fragrant with flowers when lie
got there. The pretty feminine
sparks each behind her well-laden
table, were all smiles and dimples,
while the throng of victims ebbed and
flowed around them.
Air. Ellerslie found himself greeted
with acclamations.
“You will take a share, Mr. El
erslie?”
“Do plea~e put your name down
here, Air. Ellerslie; there are only ten
blanks left.”
“Oh, Mr. Ellerslie, you are the very
one we are waiting for. I have kept
seven for you—seven always was a
lucky number.”
“ Air. Ellerslie! don’t, pray, spend all
your money until you have taken a
share in this mammoth doll, with a
trunk full of clothes.”
And thus our hero was flung hither
and yon on tlie waves of the fair,draw¬
ing nearer, however, with every sub
seviption, to the table over whicljk
shone the blue stars of Fanny Clen’s
eyes.
But when ho got there he was smit¬
ten with sudden silence.
Fanny looked wonderingly up.
“It’s a fine evening,” he hazarded.
“Is it?” asked Fanny. “ Why, I
thought it was snowing.”
“ So it is,” said our hero, growing
very red, and overturning with his
elbow a crimson Venetian flask, for
which he immediately had to pay. “ I
—I mean it isn’t a very line evening.”
“ Oli!” said Fanny.
“Yes,” said Alartin, feeling acutely
that he had made a donkey of him
self.
Then he went away, and didn’t see
Fanny Glen again the whole evening !
—probably because she was the only :
person in the whole room that he cared \
a fig about seeing at alL But so un¬
kind is fate to lovers.
Just as he was edging his way out
of the place, in a very desperate and
dejected frame of mind, there was a j
rush and a flutter, and he heard his
own name called in all the notes of the
human gamut.’
“What is it?” he asked, vaguely
staring around him.
“You’ve drawn the big doll?” cried
little Sybil Percy, dancing up to him
and laying in his arms the -huge
waxen abomination, with its flossy
yellow curls and imposing pink and
white complexion; the big while and little somebody band- j ,
else brought
box. “It’s just like traveling with a
wife,” said Sybil, mischievously.
“ But what the—ahem, what am I
to do with it?” asked our bewildered
hero.
“ Give it to somebody,” said Sybil,
inwardly hoping he would act prompt¬
ly on the suggestion and bestow the
prize upon her. “ Any one would be
delighted to see such a present.”
“Do you think they would?” asked
Mr. Ellerslie, vacantly, and he went
away. *
“Great stupid fellow!” cried Sybil,
spitefully, and she tripped back to the
table.
„ j never saw such a ® ’ „ said
Eaura T Bamngton „ . . who . had three sis
tera o£ her own at home,
Wh f am V° d ° ™ th 11
said Martm + to hlraSelf ’ as he traV6rsed ,
the wintr T S loom of the midni S ht
streets - “Oh, I have it! I’ll give it to
Fann >* Clen aiul sbe can make a
Christmas present of it to her little
black-eyed cousin.” .
£ £ aid the doll, rejoicing, on the
sofa ’ alul went to bed - sinking into
dreamland just about the time that
Fann y Clen was takin S th e hairpins
out of her magnificent golden hair be
fore the dressing bureau in her own
apartment.
“ Why, Fanny, what ails you ?”
cried Dora, her elder sister, “/ou are
crying!”
“ I am so tired,” guiltily confessed
P oor Fanny.
And sh<3 we P t herself to sleep,
thinking liow fcolish she had been, and
that, of course, Martin Ellerslie didn t
care a straw abollt her - Wh >’ should
lie?
Mr. Ellerslie rose the next morning
full of his momentous resolve, and
made such a toilet that the landlady’s
little boy seeing him go out with a big
d oH „ neatly , encased , m . , her pasteboard ^ ,
box, under Ins arm, ejaculated :
“ Oh, my eye, what a swell!”
The black-eyed little cousin admitted
him. Yes, Cousin Fanny was at
home—would he walk into the parlor ?
And our hero, before he had made up
his mind in what terms to bestow his
gift, found himself bowing and smiling
*° a fafr-haired vision in a sunny lit
lle r00m > sllrroanded b >' hea P s of cut
flowers.
“How do you do, Mr. Ellerslie,”
said Fannie, coloring and smiling. “I
am making bouquets, you see, for to
ni S bt -
“Exactly so, said Martin, and then
he reflected how much more appropri
ate a remark h e mi S ht have made » and
.
tuined ver y red -
“ Pra - V sit down >” said Eanny.
“ I - I “ the fact is ’ Miss Clen ’” said
Air. Ellerslie, plunging in sheer des¬
peration into the midst of his subject;
“ I have called—I hope you won’t be
vexed—you have only to say so if you
don’t like it.”
Fanny dropped her sprig of helio¬
trope and looked up in surprise.
“I know it isn’t of much conse¬
quence,” went on Martin, turning the
pasteboard box round and round in
confusion, “ but if you’ll accept—I’ve
known and esteemed you so long,
and—”
The damask roses deepened on
Fanny’s fair face. It had come at
last, then, the proposal she had antici¬
pated so long and anxiously,
“Not of much consequence! Oh,
Air. Ellerslie,” she repeated, reproach
f ld *y
“ Would you not care for it?” he de
manded, quite obvious in tlie embar¬
rassment of the moment that he hadn’t
oven named the gift,
“ Fare lor it: ^ tbe t ears sparkled in
Fanny’s eyes. “ AV hen you know that
I love you, Alartin.”
And she ran straight into tlie arms
of our astonished hero.
When lie went down the door-steps
he was an engaged man, how and
when lie hardly, knew himself. And
as fate would have it, the first person,
age against whom the tumbled was
Guy Barnes.
“ Hello,” said Guy. “ What’s up ?”
“ Don’t speak so loud,” said Ellerslie,
passing his arm through that of his
friend. “She’s engaged to be my
wife.”
“ Who is? The divine Fanny, the
fairest of hersex?”
“Of course ; who else should it
be?”
“ But I thought you couldn’t screw
your courage up to the proposing
mark ? i
“ I didn’t propose.” 1
Guy Barnes stared.
“ Tou—didn’t—propose! Then how
could she have accepted you?”
“ That’s just what I can’t compre¬
hend myself,” said the puzzled lover.
“We are engaged—that is certain—
but I can’t for the life of me remem
ber when or how I proposed.”
“ But of course you proposed,” ob
served Guy; “ people always do get a
little flurried, you know.”
“Do they? Well, I suppose that
was the case with me. But I don’t re
member—’’
“ Oh, don’t be such a ninny,” said
Guy Barnes, impatiently.
“ I wish I could remember just what
1 saifl > though,” observed Martin.
And even after he was duly mar
ried he never could quite recall whether
he proposed cr not. But as long as
dear Fanny was all his own what did
it signify?
Exporting Acorns.
Acorns and “ pig nuts” have long
been known as good feed for swine',
but it will surprise most people to learn
that they have a foreign export value,
Mr. Letterman, of St. Louis county,
Missouri, recently shipped 300 bushels
of red oak acorns to Europe, and about
the same time 120 bushels of pig nuts
were shipped by parties in Pennsylva¬
nia. The shipments were made under
the direction of the American forestry
society, and the nuts are to be used for
seed in England and Germany. Ex
periments in these countries with va
rious kinds of hard wood trees, in
digenous to North America, have
proven the hickory and red oak to
be best adapted to foreign soil and
climate, and an attempt will be made
to introduce them on a large scale. In
their adopted land they will be
planted on barren .hillsides and such
other untillable lands as’ean be utilized
in the pursuit of forestry, Acorns
are not a merchantable article. N either
can pig nuts be procured in the mar¬
ket ; for these reasons there was no
little difficulty in filling so large an
order. The seed had to be gathered
between one fall and spring, otherwise
it would be worthless. It was with
considerable misgiving that those in
charge of the matter undertook the
contract for so large a quantity of
nuts, but by employing men, women
and children to gather them it was
finally accomplished.
He llViiifed to be Complained of.
A man who had been purchasing a
horse and cutter was yesterday speed¬
ing the animal up and down Park
street, when a policeman said to him:
“That’s four times you have been
racing up and down and you want to
quit or you’ll get into trouble.”^
“How?”
“I’llcomplain of you.”
“What for?”
“Fast driving.”
“At what rate will you swear that I
was driving?”
• “ At least eight miles an hour.”
“ Will you, honest Iujun ? Will you
say at least eight ?”
“ I will, and the recorder will fine
you three dollars.”
“ Say,” said the maa as he pulled out
a five-dollar bill and extended it, “ take
this and do me a favor. Make com¬
plaint that I was driving at least eight
miles an hour, and have me fined for it.
I bought this old beast for a f our-mile
an-hour horse, and if it gets around
among the boys that he can step at the
rate of eight I can sell him for $25 in
cash and a second-hand overcoat! Go
and enter complaint to-day, so that it
will be mentioned in the morning
papers, and don’t forget to say eight
miles an hour—eight miles an hour on
your solemn affidavy !”— Detroit Free
Press.
.4 Great Tunnel’s Business.
In tlie year 1S62 63,578 east-bound
and 64,036 west-bound freight cars
were hauled through the Hoosac tun¬
nel, making a total of 127,608. It is a
troublesome affair to keep in running
order. A gang of miners care for tlie
roof and sides of the tunnel, and two
gangs work on the track in tlie tun¬
nel and one mile from the portals on
either side. Under this arrangement
no stones have fallen on the track dur¬
ing the past year, nor in the five years
preceding. The amount of loose rock
found is gradually diminishing, but
this system of inspection will have to
be continued many years to insure
safety. On account of smoke in the
tunnel it is difficult to arrange any sig¬
nal except that which will make a
noise, and for this reason none but
torpeMoes have been considered prac¬
ticable. No train is now allowed to
enter until the one preceding it on the
same track has passed out, and no
train is allowed on either track while
there is a. passenger train .in tlie
' tunnel.
THE PAMILY DOCTOR.
Pains in the side are most promptly
relieved by the application of mustard.
ijq cure sneezing, plug the nostrils
with cotton wool. The effect is in
stantaneous.
Broken limbs should be placed in a
gatural position and the patient kept
quiet until help arrives.
To destroy black-heads, wash the
face thoroughly at night with tepid
water and rub briskly with a Turkish
towel; then apply a mixture of one
ounce of liquor of potassa and two
ounces of cologne.
To treat sprains give the affected
part rest and apply warm fermenta
tions. If inflammation has set in put
on leeches and cooling applications, i
which may be removed at intervals if
necessai subaidSuse y When the inflammation
friction and stimulating
linimt , nt , or poulticfS ma de of bread,
*
yi ;md water .
One of the simplest and best reme¬
dies to be given to children troubled
with worms is poplar bark. Physi¬
cians use it with marked success. It
can be bought at any drug store. Take
a little pinch of the bark--as much as
you can hold on the point of a pen
i knife—and give it before breakfast. It
has a clean, good taste, and any child
1 will take it,
A Mammoth Majority.
The San Francisco Post tells the
following on Colonel Hawes, a Repub
j bean and a gentleman well know n in
i ~ a - £ Eake:
A good story is told on Colonel A.
<J H awes > °f this cd 7- The day after
-
1 tie election he started for the East.
living read the tele g ram that “ Cleve¬
land’s majority is 50,000. ’ When he
reached Ogden he heard the station
a S en * ; “ Cleveland has 100,000,”
At Omaha the newsboys yelled in his
I ears > “ Cleveland 150,000.” At
! Chicago it had grown to “ Cleveland
j 200,000. In the early gray of the
! next morning, just as the train was
Ijpving into the city of Cleveland,
Ohio, where breakfast was to be
taken, Colonel Hawes was awakened
from a gentle doze by hearing the por¬
ter of the car calling out, “ Cleveland!
twenty minutes.” The colonel, whose
dreams were still of Governor Cleve
land’s increasing majorities, mistook
the import of the words, and, jumping
in a half-dazed condition from his
sleeping-berth into the middle of the
car, he involuntarily exclaimed, "Cleve¬
land ! 20,000,<300! Heavens what a
majority
.4 Chinese Xetcspaper in Xeic York
The first number of the first Chinese
newspaper ever published in this city
appeared a short time ago. Wong
Chin Foo, a Mongolian of rank in liis
country, is the editor in chief, and the
publishers are E. P. and L. P. Cole
The Chinese American is a four-page
weekly paper, somewhat smaller than
the Sun. It publishes the news, or so
much of it as is likely to interest its
readers. The matter it contains is
written or selected by Wong Chin Foo,
who dictates it to a Chinese scribe.
He in turn prints or paints it. with
India ink and a pointed stick upon
sheets of paper, from which it is pho
to-lithographed, and then printed from
the stone in tlie shape in which it ap¬
pears. The publishers sav that
fir this process the publication would
be impossible by reason of its cost.
-In the past it has been customary to
engrave the whole of each Chinese
work to be published, because the
60,000 word characters of the language
are not represented by type. The
scribe acting as amanuensis is one of a
number in tins city who gam
their livelihood by writing letters
and communications of every sort for
their countrymen.— New York Monthly
' '
.. -•
L nwn '
The Village Xetcspaper.
Newspapers, says somebody, are
valuable to material prosperity. They
advertise the village, country or lo¬
cality. They spread before tlie reader
a map on which may be traced char¬
acter, design and progress, If a
stranger calls at the hotel ha first in¬
quires for the village paper; if afriend
comes from a distance, the next thing
after a family greeting he inquires for
your village or county paper, and you
feel discomforted if you are unable to
find a late copy, aud are confounded if
you are compelled to say you do not
take it. The newspaper is just as
necessary to fit a man for his true po¬
sition in life;» food or raiment. Show
us a ragged, barefooted boy rather
than an ignorant one. Ilis head will
cover his feet in after life, if he is well
supplied with newspapers. Show us
the child that is eager for newspapers,
lie will make the man of mark in life,
if you gratify the desire for knowledge.
Other things being equal, it is a rule
that never fails. Give the children
newspapers.
PUBLISHERS.
NO. 26.
IN THE HARBOH.
When I compare
What I have lost 'pith what I have gained
What I have missed with what attained,
little room do I find for pride.
I am aware
How many days have been idly spent;
How like an arrow the good intent
Has fallen short or been tom ed aside
But who shall dare
To measure !o'-s and gain in thi3 wise?
Defeat qoay be victory in disguise;
The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide.
—Longfellow.
Pf .Vfcf .1 T PARAGRAPHS.
Always shown up—Kites.
Men of winning ways—Gamblers,
a mild season—Adulterated pepper,
A poor relation to be avoided, is tell
; D!r a stor y ba( jiy.
It’s the assignee in bankruptcy who
has painful wreck-collections.
The expense of cigars should be put
down as among “ losses by fire.”
The sculptor is the most likely of all
men to cut a figure in the world.
ThS dead-beat, poor in the goods of
this world, is generally rich in taffy.
The electric incandescent pocket
book is the latest; it is always light.
When a button comes off the back ol
a man’s shirt collar his choler begins t«
rise.
The average bill-poster wears no
diamonds. Paste is good enough for
him. N
The proprietors of Ice-houses make
many a cool thousand in the course of
ayear - - tmm
Look k to fire escapes. In other
your
words settle your debts and pay yonr
pew rents.
Utah has marble enough to supply
every one in America with a tomb,
stone, and cheerfully observes all she
wants is a market for it.
Some genius-has invented a machine
to play pianos. This will give Ameri
can girls a chance to help mother hdng
out tho clothes Monday afternoon. ’
The fashionable spring bonnet, it 1* *
understood, will be small enough to go
in a Saratoga trunk without the ne¬
cessity of removing an/ of the trim
ruings.
A bald-headed man who has heard
that the hairs on a man’s head arennm
bered, wants to know if there is not
some place where he can obtain the
back numbers.
“ Mrs. Lofty,” said the teacher
“ your son has contracted some bad
.
habits.” “Glad to hear you say so,”
was the answer; “his bad habits cer
ta nly need contraction.”
A Syracuse young lady has a peculiar
mode of reckoning time on Sunday
Last Sunday evening, about 6 o’clock,
when asked wliat time it was, she re¬
plied: “Five minutes of Smith.”
Dominick Hoffman, a newly-elected
justice of the peace in Dubuque, got
frightened w T hen called on to perform
his first official act, a marriage cere¬
mony, and resigned immediately. A
burnt child dreads the fire.
A Brooklyn landlady recently
dropped her false teeth into one of her
hoarder’s cup of coffee. He immedi¬
ately made her a present of the coffee,
and genefously told her she needn’t
give him credit for it on his bill.
A lee in a rosebud: Arthur Cray
on—“Miss Rosebud, I have brought a
little picture which I painted especially
you. It has proved a very pleasant
£asb during the month that I worked
on it.' Pinky Rosebud “Ob, thanks
Mr. Crayon,you are very kind, but I
am afraid that I must return the
frame, as mother never allows me to
accept presents of any value from
; gentlemen,
^^ easily things g0 wrong ,
\ s i a h too much or a kiss too long;
And there comes a mist and a drenching
t; dn,
And things are never the same again.
—Boston Star.
Alas ! how easily things go wrong,
A sigh too much or a kiss too long;
And there comes the old man with a cane,
And things are never the same again.
—Burtons Raton.
Alas! how easily things go wrong,
A sigh too much or a kiss too long;
Yet who from kissing would refrain.
Let things be never the same again?
—Wheeling Journal.
The Star of Bethlehem.
A writer in the Boston Herald
claims that the star of Bethlehem will
re-appear in 1887. The general be¬
lief is that this star is tiie one which
blazed out in tlie constellation of Cas¬
siopeia in the time of Tycho Brahe in
1572. This remarkable star reached
tlie brilliancy of Jupiter, and then
slowly faded to invisibility. Its re¬
appearance is merely conjectured. The
character of the forces’at work to pro¬
duce this remarkable display are a
mystery. The spectroscope, had it
oeen invented at the time, might have W
thrown some light on the matter. It
is impossible to estimate the forces re¬
quired to make such a light at the db» .
tance of the fixed stars.— Rochester
Democrat.