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THE LINCOLNTON NEWS
J. L>. COLLEY & CO.,
VOL. i:
MACHINERY DEPOT.
W. J. POLLARD,
m ai luinraras' xcEiT.
manufacturer of
W. J. Pollard’s Champion Cotton Gin
Feeders & Condensers,X Smith’s Hand Pop* Cotton KHay Press.
General
Portable and Stationary and Steam Engines and Boilers. Saw Mills, Grist
Mills, Engines, etc. C. * G. Cooper <fc Co.’s Traction Engines, Portable and Agricul¬
tural Watertown Agricultural, Portable and Stationary Ste am En
sines, Saw Mills, etc. GoodaU & Waters’ Wood Working Machinery. W. L.
Bradley’s Cylinder Steam Standard Fertilizers. The Dean Steam Pump. Kreible’s Vibrating
Clod Crusher Engines. Leveler. Otto’s Silent Gas Engines. Acme Pulverizing Har¬
row, and
MACHINERY OF ALL KINDS.
Belting, Packing, Brass Fittings, Iron Fittings, Iron Pipe, Rubber Hose and
everything specialty. that Tools can of be all used kinds, on Hancock or about Inspirators, machinery. etc. Cotton Finally, Mill I Supplies a
make desire to
the machine business a complete success, and will guarantee to furnish
everything house wanted in that line on as reasonable terms and at as short notice
as any in the country. My stock is the largest and most varied of any
house South. My connection with some of the largest manufactories in the
United States gives me superior advantages for furnishing the best and most
reliable work found anywhere. Be certain to call on
w. cr. fotjLjJlirid 7
731, 734 & 736 Reynolds Street,
AUGUSTA, m m GEORGIA
|Tj
' IN
FURNITURE ■
If we don’t Beat New York Prices we will
Give You a NICE SET.
The Largest and Finest Stock ever offered
in Augusta. Five carloads just received.
All the Latest Styles and Prices Cheaper
than Ever. WE DEFY COMPETITION
Our New Catalogue will be Ready in Tea
Days. Write for one.
J. L. BOWLES & CO.,
117 AND 839 BROAD STREET,
AUGUSTA, CA.
JAMES HINES
SUCCESSOR TO
P. H. NOROTN,
"Washington' - - Gra •V
—DEALER IN—
Groceries"* and Plantation Snplies,
Bagging and Ties, Meat and
lard, Flour of the Best Grade,
ron, Plows, &c., Salt, Leather,
&c., Provisions of all Sorts.
lhe Reputation of the House shall be
Maintained. “ The Best Goods at the Lowest
laving Rates.”
At Mrs. N. Brum Clark’s
Ladies will find New and Stylish Neck
weab. Look at the Febnk Laces. They
must be seen to be appreciated.
The Latest Styles in Hats and Bonnets re¬
ceived weekly during the season.
Our Mourning Bonnets and Crepe Veils
are keep unsurpassed best in quality and price. We
New Ribbons—every English Crepes, new Lisse Ruching,
ityT width, color and qual
Black Silk Gloves, Mourning wear; Chil¬
dren’s Hosiery in excellent quality—some
New Styles; Corsets, Hoop Skirts, Tour
mures, Bridal Veiling and Gloves; all kinds
of kmdB. Veiling, Brussel’s Nets; Nets of all
Great variety of Laces— Black, White and
Cream. Embroidery Silk, best Knitting
Silk, Sewing Silk, Buttons in latest styles,
New Jewelry, Lusterless Jet Bracelets, Ear¬
rings, other styles Fins, &c., Coin Silver Jewelrv and
Work, Lace entirely Pillow new; Shams, Material Splashers, for Fancy
New Hair Goods—pretty Ac.
stylos. and becoming ”
“ Polo” Caps, “ Fez” Caps, “ Tam O’Shan
ter” Caps—in the new colors for Children.
Hand-Knitted Goods for Infants, Infants’
Caps in Lace, Velvet and Satin. Our Stock
of We Famy Goods is too varied to itemize.
Miixineby are prepared to furnish anything in
the Line, and to fill orders
tended promptly. Orders from the country at¬
to as soon as received. We never
Disappoint. Our friends in adjacent comi¬
ties will find it to their interest to send to us.
We will make any purchases for them in the
city free of commission.
We guarantee Prices and Quality.
Bt|lhh 819BaoAp Artioles STBBEVj9 for a Lady’s the plaoo Toilet. to obtain
THE AUGUS TA, ELBEBTO N AIV P CHICAGO RAILROAD.
SAMUEL H. MYERS,
SUCCESSOR T
MYERS & MARCUS,
838 &840 Broad Street,
AUGUSTA, GA.
WHOLESALE JOBBER OF DRY GOODS, NO..
TIONS. SHOES. HATS AND CLOTHING.
J. M. ANDERSON,
COTTON FACTOR
—AND—
Commission Merchant,
—AT THE—
Old Stand of R. A Fleming,
903 Reynolds Street, Anpsta, Ga'
Personal attention given to all business
T. Love Fuller, so well known in Lincoln,
and who for many years has been with
Young & Hack, is in charge, and will be glad
to see bis many friends._.,_
Murphey, Harmon & Go.,
NCOLNTON, GA.,
TOMBSTONES, MONUMENTS
PUT UP TO LAST.
Work Guaranteed,
Refer to their work throughout Lincoln
county.
Prices Very Low.
P. HANSBERGER,
-MANUFACTURER OF
CIGARS,
—AND DEALER IN—
Tobacco, Pipes and
Smokers’ Articles.
Cigarettes Ellis to the trade Fireworks a specialty. Mann,
factory on street. by whole¬
sale.
700 Broad street, AUGUSTA, GA.
W. N. MERCIER,
COTTON FACTOR AND
General Commission Merclrant,
No. 3 Warren Block,
Augusta, Ga.
*" Will give personal and undivided atten¬
tion liberal to the Cash Weighing Advances and made Selling of Consign Cotton
on
meats.
LINCOLOTON, GrA., % FRIDAY, AUGUST 24, 1883.
A Mother's Song.
The days are daik and dreary, sweet,
And threatening clouds go by;
My eyes have grown aweary, sweet,
Of gazing at the sky; —
01 gazing at the sky, iny sweet,
Where never a star doth rise;
Though hope should hide in the outward tide,
Let me find it in thy eyes, O sweet!
Let me find it in thi' e eyes.
My heart ha'h gtown aweaiy, sweet,
Of a race that shows no goal;
And the passing hours strike dreary, sweet,
To a desolate human soul.
Did I say desolate, sweet, my sweet,
Nay, never while X have thee.
Though the sinews start in my aching heart,
And reason itself should flee, my sweet!
Agd reason itself should flee.
Cling closer, ay, closer, O sweet, my sweet!
Thy pre ssure doth ease my pain, •
And I jonrney with steadfast feet, my sweet,
Up the pathway of life again,—
Content to find in thy grasping bands,
And the dew of thy dawning kiss,
A beacon to lure me through sunless lands,
If life promised no mote than tliis, O sweet!
II life ptomised no more than this.
— William Higgt.
Mr. Marigold’s Mistake.
“I shan’t marry him,” declared Meg
decidedly, while she twisted her back
hair up in a tawny knot on the top of
her head.
Meg’s elder sister and sister-in-law
looked decided disapproval at their
relative’s refractory announcement.
“You know, Meg, dear,” began Mrs.
Joe, the eldest brother’s wife, but Meg
cut her short in decided tones.
“Yes, I know all you can tell me,
and more too. I know I’m an old
maid’’—she was twenty-five—“and I
know you are all too poor to support
me, and too proud to let me support
myself. But for all that I shan’t,
marry Simon Marigold if he is as rich
as cream and I as poor as Job’s turkey,
so there, now.” And Meg flounced
out to weed the carrot bed, while the
discomforted relatives shook their'
heads more disapprovingly still, and
made comments on the obstinacy^of •
human: nature in general and some
folks in particular. ,
“She’s a throwing away her best
chance,” declared Mrs. Joe mournfully.
“Simon Marigold is a ketch for any¬
body,” asserted Sister Jane, “with that
big farm of his. Such a good per
vider as he is, too.”
“But if she don’t love him, you
know,” ventured Mrs. Archibald, the
youngest sister, who was suspected of
being romantic.
“Fiddlesticks,” declared Mrs. Joe
emphatically. “Folks can’t live on
love, and if Meg throws away sich a
chance of being settled comfortable
Bhe’ll live to rue it. That’s all I kin
say.”
“Now, look a here, gals.” Grandma
Larkins came down from the attic
With a hank of blue dyed yarn, which
she proceeded to wind into a ball
“Jest let Meg alone and I’ll promise it
will all come right in the end. Gals
of her age often does hev them quare
notions, but she’ll git over ’em bime-by.
The girl kind o’ fancies she likes some
one else better ’an Simon, but jest
leave her alone ’an she’ll get over it
and settle down with him on the Mari¬
gold farm as comfortable as two peas
in a pod.”
In the meantime Meg was still at
work in the garden, diligently pulling
the weeds in the carrot bed. It might
have been that she had no other time
to weed carots, and it might also have
been that Eben Doolittle had no other
way of getting home, except by the
well-worn cattle path, which led past
Grandma Larkins’ kitchen garden and
around to the pasture bars. At al 1
events, he soon jjame sauntering by
and leaned on the gate post for a chat
“And to think,” said Meg to herself,
when he had sauntered on, with a
freshly-plucked rose in his button hole
“to think of my marrying Simon Mar’
igold.”
Alas, poor Simon! He was not pale
and intellectual with a developing
moustache and violet eyes. He never
scented his handkerchief with extract
of pond lily, nor wore buff kids, nor
carried a cane—far from it.
Simon Marigold was broad shoul¬
dered and sunburned. And his eyes,
though clear and honest, were unde¬
niably grey.
“Oh, no,” thought Meg, blushing up
to the roots of her very frizzy bangs,
“I could never, never marry him.”
As the days sped on Grandma Lar¬
kins began to look worried, and to lose
a little faith in her own predictions.
“Ef it wasn’t fur that there shiftless
Doolittle,” she sighed, “a cornin’ here
all the aime an’ a drummln’ on his
catarrh she might take Simon Marigold
yet.”
* * * * * *
“Well, Eben.”
Mr. Marigold gave one or two broad
sweeps with his scythe among the red
clover he was cutting, then hung the
glistening blade on a stubby persim¬
mon tree, and turned with a heated
foot toward hit cousin.
Eben Doolittle was not heated. His
summer coat looked cool and light,
and his white pocket handkerchief was
heavily scented with pond lily.
“I ’spose you want that money,” said
Mr. Marigold, and drawing out his
leather pocket-book, he counted out
one hundred dollars in crisp bank bills,
and handed them to his cousin. “I
’spose it’s all settled, Eben,” he said
anxiously.
Eben’s placid features showed no
anxiety nor care whatever.
“Well.no.”
He coolly put the bank bills in his
pocket-book before be condescended to
explain further.
“I haven’t asked her yet, because I
wanted to get the money first. A fel¬
low don’t like to get married without
a cent in his pocket.”
“You are sure she’ll be all—all
right?”
“Oh, of course.” Eben was shoul¬
dering the light gun he carried, get¬
ting ready to. start. “Of course it’ll
be fill right. She’ll dropdnto my arms
like a rare, ripe peach when I ask
her.”
Mr. Marigold’s gray eyes shot a
gleam of disapproval at his nonchal¬
ant cousin.
“Well, Eben, I wouldn’t talk that
way of the woman I loved,” he said
gravely. “I would be so proud of her
love I would hardly dare to own it,
even to myself.”
Eben laughed, but made no answer.
“You needn’t mind paying that
money back,” added Simon, as he took
his scythe from the tree, “if you’ll
only try to make Meg happy and com¬
fortable, but don’t—don’t expect me to
come to the wedding, Eben, for I—
really I couldn’t.”
“All right,” returned his cousin
carelessly. *
And Simon Marigold turned to his
mowing, while Eben stalked off across
the meadow with his gun slightly
swung over his shoulder
******
~ “Simon.”
The fluttering grape vine screen that
overhung the fence and the low per¬
simmon tree was puWaside and Meg
Larkins, blushing li« a June rose,
stepped out.
The astonished mower gazed as if
petrified.
“Oh, Simon, I heard all—all you
said,” she exclaimed, with tears brim¬
ming in her soft, brown eyes. “Grand¬
ma sent me to pick dewberries,” she
continued, and I—want to tell you
that I’m not going to marry Eben
Doolittle, because I don’t love him,”
and she blushed like one of the trump¬
et vine’s scarlet bells, that had dropped
on the emerald tiftf at her feet.
“Meg.” Simdn came towards her
with a new' light shining in his honest,
brown eyes. “Oh, Meg, do you—could
you—love me?”
“And with drooping eyes and tears
still in them, Meg said she could and
did.
******
“How nice it is,” said Mrs. Joe, as
she whisked the eggs for the wedding
cake. “How nice that Meg is really
going to marry a man of property af¬
ter all.”
“And a real love match, too,”,
chimed Mrs. Archibald, with that sim¬
ple philosophy which considers love
and romance of more value than all
the diamonds of Golconda or the
fabled wealth of “Ormus and of Ind.”
“Wal, I see how ’twas a gwine to
turn out long ago,” put in Grandma
Larkins complacently, turning the heej
of the blue yarn sock she was knitting.
“I alius said ’twould come all right in
in the end, but think, me a sending
Meg over to the Marigold pasture to
pick blueberries helped it along some.”
And perhaps it did: Fate is not
above using blueberries as a means
now-a-days at least.— Helen M. Clark
in St. Louis Mogazine.
The Penalty.
“Father,” observed Melancthon Mar¬
rowfat to the old gentleman one even¬
ing after his mother had gone out of
the room, “I’ve been reading a good
deal about panics lately, and it seems
to me that many of them might be
avoided.”
“There’s millions in it if you can
tell how, my boy,” said Mr. M., shak¬
ing his head as if the problem were
utterly incapable of solution.
“All it needs is,” continued Melanc¬
thon, “for women to be brave.”
“But they ain’t brave,” remarked
his father firmly, “and how are you
going to make them so?”
“Easy enough,” returned the inge¬
nious lad. “Give them mice for pets
when they are children .—Brooklyn
Eagle.
_
Sea shells and crawfish are to be
found on the top of Lookout moun¬
tain, in the northeastern part of Yava¬
pai county, Arizona.
THE AGRICULTURAL EDITOR.
How I»yk« Forteacue Conducted « Th«
Farm«r’a Friend.”—on*inai viewa on
Enillage.
Dyke Fortescue rambled into the
office of an agricultural newspaper
published in the interest of rural read¬
ers, and named the Farmer’s Friend
and Cultivator’s Champion. Dyke
was fresh from Denver, where he had
been doing local work on a daily. He
wanted a situation—he wanted it
badly, and he soon closed a bargain
with the proprietor of the Farmer’s
Friend and Cultivators' Champion.
The proprietor intended to be absent
for two weeks, and Dyke undertook to
hold the journal’s head steadily up
stream until his return. .
“You will receive some visitors,
quite likely,” said the proprietor
“ Entertain ’em. Entertain ’em in a
manner which will reflect credit on the
paper. They will want to talk stock,
farming, horticulture, etc., you know,
Give it to ’em strong.”
Dyke bowed, borrowed a half dollar,
got a clean shave, and soon returned
to face the music and edit the first
agricultural journal with which he
had ever been connected.
“ I feel that, with my journalistic
experience, it will be just fun to run
an agricultural paper,” said Dyke to
himself.
At 2 oclock p. m. the first visitor
showed up at the door of the office,
and Dyke cordially invited him inside,
The farmer entered hesitatingly, and
remarked that he had expected to meet
the proprietor, with whom he had an
appointment to discuss ensilage.
“ I am in charge of the journal,”
said Dyke.
“Oh you are. Well, you seem to
have a pretty clean office here.”
“ Y es,’ replied Dyke. “ But about
this ensilage. Ensilage is a pretty
good breed, isn’t it ? ”
“ Breed!” exclaimed the farmer
“ why—”
“ I mean it’s a sure crop; something
that you can rely—”
“Crop! Why its isn’t a crop at alL”
“Yes, yes, I know it isn’t a crop,’*
said Dyke, perspiring until his collar
began to melt away down the back of
his neck, “but you can do better and
cleaner work with a good, sharp ensi
lage on stubby ground, than—”
“ Take it for a sulky plow, do you ?”
“No, no,-’ said Dyke. “You don't
seem to understand me. Now, if a
farmer builds an ensilage on low
ground—”
“Builds an ensilage! You seem to
have got the thing mixed up with
some kind of a granary.”
“ Pshaw, no,” continued Dyke. «1
must make myself plainer. You see
this ensilage properly mixed with one
part guano, and three parts hypophos
phate of antimony, with the addition
of a little bran and tan bark, and the
whole flavored with chloride of lime,
makes a top dressing for strawberry
beds which—”
“ Why, ensilage isn’t no manure.”
“No, certainly not,” said Dyke. “ I
know it is often used in that way
You don’t catch my drift. When I
said top dressing I meant turkey dress
ing—stuffing, you know—for thanks
giving—”
“Good Heavens, man! Ensilage
isn’t a human food! ”
“ No, not a human food exactly,”
said poor Dyke, grinning like an alms
house idiot. “ It isn’t a food at all, in
the true sense of the word. My plan
has always been to lasso the hog with
a trace chain and after pinning his
ears back with a clothes pin, put the
ensilage into his nose with a pair of
tweezers.
“My good lands! You don’t use
ensilage to ring hogs.”
“ I never believed myself that it
should be used for that purpose, but
when you want to ring hens, or young
calves to keep them from sucking—”
The farmer gravely shook his head,
“ Did you ever try ensilage on the
hired girl ?” said Dyke desperately, and
winking like a bat at 11:30 a. m.
The farmer slowly arose, and with
some evidence of rheumatic twinges
in his legs.
“Young man,” he said “you are a
long ways from home, ain’t you ? ”
“Yes,” replied Dyke, dropping his
eyes beneath the stem glances of the
farmer. “In my ancestral halls in
England, sad-eyed retainers wearily
watch and wait for my return.”
“ Go home, young man, go home to
your feudal castle, and while on your
way acrosss the rolling deep, muse on
the fact that ensilage is simply canned
food for live stock—put up expressly
for family use in a silo, which is noth
ing less than an air-tight pit where
corn stalks, grass, millet, clover, alfalfa
and other gieen truck is preserved for
winter use, as green and verdant as
the sub-editor of the Farmers' Friend
and Cultivators’ Champion
And Dyke Fortescue sighed as he
remarked to himself: “ There ain’t so
blamed much fun in running an agri
Sijrtings. cultural paper as I thought. 1 '—Ttaxu
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS*
Mr. Earnest Giles, the explorer, con
templates organizing a grand final ex
pedition to traverse the remaining un¬
explored portions of the Australian
continent
We read, says the Scientific Ameri¬
can, every now and then of cases in
which burglars are supposed to have
rendered their victims unconscious by
holding cloths wet with chloroform to
keyholes before entering an apartment.
Of course, the absurdity of such a fic¬
tion is apparent. Whether sleepers
can pass from natural to chloroform
sleep if it is held near the face is still
a question.
Drs. Sitherwood and Hanlan have
expressed the belief that excessive
mental work produces a rapid decay of
t * ie teeth. As an explanation of the
alleged fact, another writer suggests
that the overworked brain steals all
tor the phosphates and leaves none for
the teeth, or else that too much study
causes the general health to deterior
at e. The Lancet doubts if excessive
mental work can of itself induce- seri
ous disease, but thinks it more proba
ble that ill effects result from the
worry—which wears upon the system
bke friction upon the engine—attend
in g suc b work,
As to position in writing, a German
professor maintains that, while the nor
mal distance between the eyes and the
desk ought to be twenty-five centT
metres, (approximately, ten inches), it
is but rarely that this distance is actu
ally observed, in very many instances
no more than seven centimetres (2.75
inches) being permitted. From this
close application of the head to the
desk, and the circumstance that in
most cases the body in writing is twist*
ed to the right, thereby causing an ele*
vation of the right shoulder, a curva¬
ture of the spine (developed to from
thirty to forty per cent, among girls)
is not infrequently brought about. It
was further remarked that of the child
ren examined only ten per cent, were
naturally short-sighted, and that, as
among wild races defective vi*on is a
matter of great rarity, the trouble in
question was a product of modern civi
lization and the existing system of
class teaching,
Opium Cigars.
There are few persons outside of
tkose in police circles and dealers in
articles consumed by opium users Shat
are aware how widespread is the use
of this noxious drug in San Francisco,
Dru ggists can tell of the numerous
calls for it in liquid and powdered
form.and the police have only a partial
knowledge of the number of places
^'kere opium smoking is surreptitious
*7 carried on. Cigarettes impregnated
w ith the fumes of the drug have long
been sold, and in this way the habit of
°P’ um smoking has often been uncon
sciously acquired. If the several
forms mentioned in which the drug is
made to supply the demand were not
enough, another end more insinuating
at tk e same time as innocent in ap
pearance as any, has been introduced,
Probably some of the readers of this
it,em have recently seen small, elegant¬
ly made boxes, an inch or an inch and
a half wide by two inches long filled
with the tiniest of cigars—toy cigars
they look like—much better made than
the larger article. If curiosity had
prompted an examination these little
cigars would have been found to have
been made of the best tobacco and
ver Y fragrantly scented. These small
specimens of the cigar-makers’ craft
are the new form in which the appe¬
tite of opium smoking is indulged in
in a more open manner than it can be
usually followed by the devotees of the
pernicious habit. Opium is too costlj
to be mixed with the tobacco of these
small cigars, and it is a question if it
is not in a more poisonous shape than
when used in the way of a liquid such
83 laudanum, or a powder, or in the
usual pasty form. The tobacco—and
good tobacco is used—is put in a
brazier and held over burning opium,
until the weed is thoroughly impreg¬
nated with the fumes of the drug, and
it is a question if it is not stronger
thus smoked than when inhaled direct
trom the paste. Those who know the
terrible effects of drinking anything
from a glass “smoked” with tobacco
smoke can probably appreciate the
strength of these innocent looking
small cigars when saturated with the
fumes of opium. These cigars are not
s °id by tobacconists, and are difficult
t0 ff et even by those who use them,
They are sold on the quiet, so it is
said, by Chinamen who are strictly
“no sabee” to any one they are not
certain of, Two sizes were shown the
writer, one an inch long and over an
ei 8hth of an inch in diameter, the
other nearly h;df an inch longer and
proportionately thicker,both kinds well
ma< * e ‘ A smaU mouth-piece, similar to
a cigarette holdor, accompanied tlio
box » wh ich contained fifteen cigars.—
San Franoisco Call,
PUBLISHERS.
m. 45.
BVMOROV8.
It takes the moon to bring a dog t#
bay.
“Over the crystal waters she leant
tn careless grace,” says a recent poem.
Another case of sea-sickness.
Carpenters who refashioned old dry
goods boxes should be called “circum*
stances,” because they alter cases.
You can get a very good idea of
“natural selection,” in its practical
workings, by viewing a celery glass
after it has been nee around the ta¬
ble.
“Postponed on account of the weath¬
er,” as the timid city man said when
he did not go through a sheep pasture
with a belligerent ram holding th®
fort.
“Please pass the goat,” said a board¬
er to his hostess. “Why do you call
my butter the goat?” asked the lady.
“Because,” replied the unfeeling
wretch, “it’s a very strong butter.”
One-horse power is computed to raise
33,000 pounds one foot high in one
minute. A mule has about the same
power, but he exerts it in a different
manner. He can raise 150 pounds 33,
000 feet high in one minute.
SIGNS OF SCXMER.
WhUe many men are muttering,
The fans are fieredy fluttering,
Fresh soda water’s spluttering,
And stupid chaps are stuttering,
“Is it hot enough for you!”
“There is one thing connected with
your table,” said a drummer to a west¬
ern landlord, “that is not surpassed
even by the best hotels in Chicago.’’
‘‘Yes?” replied the pleased landlord;
‘and what is that ?” “The salt.”
A physician sav3 that onions, if
slowly stewed in weak broth and eaten
with a little pepper, are an admirable
article of diet for patients of studious
and sedentary habits. That may be,
but the trouble is that people won’t re*
main studious and sedentary after eat¬
ing them. They are suddenly filled
with the desire to button-hole some¬
body and talk.
According to an exchange, a self¬
acting sofa, just large enough for two,
has been invented. If properly wound
up it will begin to ring a warning bell
just before 10 o’clock. At one minute
after 10 it splits apart, and while one
half carries the daughter of the house
up stairs, the other half kicks her
young man out of doors. They will
come high, but people must have them.
Three Distinguished Women.
Two young ladies of Terre Haute
were returning from California. The
parlor car was crowded with passen¬
gers. At a small station a woman in
showy attire entered and demanded a
whole section. It was not to be had,
and the conductor, brakeman, porter
and cook, who seemed to be impressed
with the new passenger’s importance^
were all painfully exercised to know
where to put her. The cause of all
this commotion was very blonde, very
large, very richly clothed, and very
swell. When it seemed impossible to
get her a whole section, or even half a
one, she turned to the young ladies
and said: “Will you consent to take
the upper berth of your section and
let me have the lower?”
“Sorry we can't oblige you,” replied
one of the pink-cheeked fairies; “but
really we prefer to keep the lower
berth ourselves.”
Then the big blonde straightened
herself up, threw ineffable contempt
and importance into her pale eyes, and
said: Perhaps you don’t know who I
am ?”
“No, we don’t,” replied the Terre
Haute girl in a tone of serene indif¬
ference.
“I will tell you,” said the woman of
silks and jewels, “I am Mrs. CoL Dun
levy Wickersham” (Dunlevy Wicker
sham is known all along that end of
the road as a bonanza man—bush els of
money—so much that he needs noth¬
ing more).
“Are you, indeed!” replied the
Iloosier maiden. “Perhaps you don’t
know who I am?”
Madame Bonanza’s face said that
she didn’t, and also, that she had some
suriosity.
“Well, I am Mrs. Gen, Grant.”
“And I,” said her companion, who
had hitherto kept silent, “am Queen
Victoria.— Indianapolis Review.
Circumlocutory.
“ Madame,” said a young man to a
widow whose daughter he was court¬
ing, “I have a request to make of
you.”
“ Very well, sir, what is it?”
“I want you to give me that which
you never had, never wanted, wouldn’t
have if it were offered you, and yet you
can give it to me.”
“ I don’t understand you at all," re¬
plied the mystified widow.
“ I want you to give me a wifel ”
“Oho! You want my daughter, do
you? Well you can have her, but
apeak plainer next titne,"—