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rpijui INCOLNTON
VOL. III.
Looking at Both Side*.
Wo good wife bustled about the home,
Her free still bright with a pleasant smile,
As broken snatches of happy song
Strengthened her heart and her hands tho
while;
The good man sat in tho chimney nook,
His little clay pipe within his lips,
And all he’d made and all he had lost,
Ready and clear on bis finger tips,.
“Good wife, I’ve just been thinking a bit,
Nothing has done very well this year.
Money is bound to be hard to get,
iBverything’s sure to bo very dear.
How the cattle are going to be fed,
How we’re to keep the boys at school,
Is a kind of debit and credit sum
I can’t make balance by any rule.”
She turned her around from the baking board,
And she faced him there with a cheerful
laugh;
“Why, husband dear, one would really think
That the good rich wheat was only chaff.
And what if wheat is only chaff,
So long as we both are well and strong?
I’m not a woman to worry a bit—
But—Somehow or other we get along.
“into all lives some rain must fall,
Over all lands the storm must beat,
But when the storm aud pain are o’er
The sunshine is sure to be twice as sweet.
Thronghevery strait we have found n road.
In every grief wo have found a song;
We have had to boar and had to wait,
Bat, somehow or other, we get along.
“For thirty years we have loved each other,
Stood by each other whatever befell;
Six bjys have called us ‘father an l mother,’
And all of them living and doing well.
We owe no man a penny, my dear;
Are both oi us loving and well and strong;
Good man, I wish you would smoke again,
And think how well we have got along.”
»
He filled his pipe with a pleasant laugh.
He kissed his wile with a tender pride;
He said, “I’ll do as you tell me, love;
I'll just count up on the other side.
She left him then with his better thought,
And lifted her work with a low, sweet song,
A song that’s followed me many a year—
"Somehow or other we get along!”
The Schoolmistress of Sil¬
ver G-ulch.
The little town of Silver Gulch was
astir. A crowd of men were gathered
in front of Major Ilaslett’s internal
refreshment saloon, gazing at a poster
' stuck up on one of the shutters. The
thin, lanky man reading the notice
aloud for the edification of the less
gifted portion of the crowd is the edi¬
tor and proprietor of the only newspa¬
per in the town, the Silver Gully Ban¬
tam, and the poster in question is a
sample of his skill in the printing line:
“Notice. —The citizens of Silver
Gijlly will be on hand to-morrow at 2
P. M. to meet the San Francisco stage,
and give a hearty welcome to our new
school-mistress.
“Geokge V. IIaslett, Mayor.
“P. S.—White Shirts.”
Ten minutes after the poster was
read there was a corner in white shirts.
Old Levy’.s stock of seven, which had
been in his store ever since the town
came into existence, realized for their
owner about 1,000 per cent, profit.
The unfortunates who found them¬
selves without the coveted shirts were
downcast and disconsolate, but genius
finally found a way out of the difficul¬
ty. A roll of muslin was cut up into
false shirt fronts, which were intended
to be tucked under the vest and pinned
to a paper collar. Noontime found
the Gullyites out in full force arrayed
in their finest, The Mayor soon
emerged from his home, and the way
be strutted around, all resplendent in
a full dress suit aud a shiny high hat,
would have caused a peacock to die
with mortification at being outshone.
The low-cut vest revealed a “sparkler”
big as a walnut, and emitting such
brilliant rays that one would almost
feel inclined to believe the owner’s as¬
sertion that he didn’t need any light in
his house at night time.
It was a proud moment for the first
citizen of the town when he mounted
a soap box and delivered himself of a
speech, the preparation of which had
caused him a sleepless night:
“Fellow-citizens: Veni, vidi, vici—
we came, we saw, we conquered. We
camfrto this now blooming paradise
when it was nothing but a rocky waste.
We stuck to it and struck rock, and
then we spread like a grease spot on
our^junday pants. Soon we was big
enough to support a furst-class paper,
and now have concluded that we kin
support a school-teacher to make
scholars of our young uns. Now,when
I introduce you fellows you must bow
and take your hats off, like this,” and
suiting his actions to his words he re¬
moved his head-covering, and in at¬
tempting'to make a bow he threw his
center of gravity out of line, and, as
a natural consequence, the soap box
tilted and landed the flowery orator all
in a heap on the ground. The Mayor
did not let this mishap annoy him, and
soon had them scraping and bowing in
a manner that would have delighted
toe heart of a French dancing-master.
Way down the road a cloud of dust
was arising, growing larger and larger,
until finally from its midst the stage¬
coach burst in view. The horses were
galloping like mad, and instead of the
brawny form of Tom, the driver, hold-
THE AUGUSTA, ELBEBTON AND CHICAGO RAILROAD.
lug the lines, there stood a girl, her
feet firmly braced against the foot¬
board, lying back with all her strength
on her reins. The trained leaders
slackened their speed as they approach¬
ed their usual stopping place and
stopped still.
As soon as the coach came to a
standstill the girlish form dropped
back in a faint. A dozen men sprang
to the coach-top and a ghastly sight
they saw. There lay Tom, the driver,
with a terrible hole in his chest, from
which the blood poured with each
heart-throb. Tender hands lowered
motionless form to the ground,
where ready arms received him.
The Mayor’s house was turned into
an hospital, and his wife into a nur3e.
The girl soon regained her senses and
told her tale. She was the school,
mistress they were waiting to welcome:
About five miles from the gully the
coach was stopped by robbers. She
was on the seat with Tom, the driver,
when the robbers, with leveled guns,
brought the stage to a standstill. Some
half-dozen passengers were ordered to
get out, and while they were being
searched, Tom slipped a revolver into
the little teacher’s hands and whis¬
pered: “Shoot at the man at the lead¬
er’s head.” Quick as a flash she leveled
the already cocked weapon. Bang
went the heavy Colt. A bullet passed
within a foot of the robber’s head and
struck the horse’s ear. The frantic
animal reared up and struck the robber
with both fore feet. Down to the
ground the crushed robber dropped,
and the coach gave a jolt, jolt as the
wheels rolled over the prostrate
wretch’s body. Bang! bang! Crack!
crack! went the robber’s guns and one
bullet struck poor Tom in the breast
as he turned around to yell defiance at
the outwitted rascals. With a moan
he dropped back on the seat senseless.
Grasping the lines,which were drop¬
ping from Tom’s nerveless hands, she
guided the horses back to town. A
party from the Gully rode back over
the road and found the lifeless body of
the crushed robber. The passengers
were found close by tied to trees and
relieved of all the(r valuables. The
town rang with praise for the plucky
school-mistress, and the daily Bantam,
in a special edition issued to commem¬
orate the lynching of the three rob¬
bers, who were caught the day after
the affair, alluded to her as a “Joan of
Arc.” A neat little frame school
had been erected in anticipation
of her coming, and soon the school was
one of the Gully’s most prized institu¬
Miss Jarden, the teacher, boarded
with the Hasletts, and was the pet
the town. Every man she met on
street raised his hat and bowed re¬
spectfully to her.
About six months after the
entry into town of the schoolmistress,a
young stranger came to the Gully, and
his name was in every one’s mouth—
“Barry the Tenderfoot,” owner of the
“Nellie and I” mine. One evening
Mrs. Haslettcommenced talking about
the stranger. He is from your State
—Pennsylvania; you must meet him
for he would make a good catch. He
owns the ‘Nellie and 1’ mine, the rich¬
est mine in these parts.’’
Why did a tear tremble on those eye¬
lashes; why did the blood redden her
cheeks a fiery hue? Just then the
Mayor came in, followed by a tali
stranger.
“Miss Jarden, this is Mr. Parry.”
A scream and the tall stranger and
the little teacher were locked in each
other’s arms. Well, the rest is soon
told. Nellie Jarden and Parry Rod¬
gers were lovers in a small Pennsylva¬
nia town. He started for the West to
make his fortune. Four or five letters
came and then they ceased.
A long year passed and no news of
Parry. Finally the dissolute son of
the Postmaster was arrested and con¬
fessed that he had been stealing letters
with money m them, and among them
he had taken two or three from Parry
to Nellie, thinking probably they
might contain money.
The brave girl then started to find
her lover. Place after place she visit¬
ed, but could find no clew, and at last,
broken-hearted and convinced that her
lover was dead, she accepted the place
offered her at the Gully.
Well, they married, and years of
happiness and joy have been their lot.
Marriage in Arizona,
“Do you take this woman whose
hand you’re a squeezin’ to be your
lawful wife, in flush times an’ skimp ?”
“I reckon that’s about the size of it,
Squire.’’ take this you’ve j’ined
“Do you man
fists with to be your pard through
thick an’ thin ?”
“Well, you’re about right, for once,
old man.”
“All right, then. Kiss in court, an’
I reckon you’re married about as tight
as the law kin j’ine you. I guess four
bits ’ll do, Bill, if I don’t have to kiss
(he bride. If I do, it’s six bits extra.”
—Chicago Ledger.
LINCOLNTON, GA., FRIDAY. JUNE 5. 1885.
Cat Logie.
Mrs. Cashel Hoey, in her “Book on
Cats,” tells these stories: Every day,
after breakfast, I made it a rule to
throw a bit of bread into an adjoining
room, as far off as I could, so as to in¬
duce my cat to run after it as it rolled
away. This custom I kept up for sev¬
eral months, and the cat always re¬
garded that piece of bread as the tit¬
bit of its dessert. Even after it had
eaten meat, it would await with atten¬
tive interest the minute when it was
to start in pursuit of the morsel of
soft bread. One day I held the coveted
scrap in my hand, and swung it about
for a long time, while the cat eyed it
with a kind of patfent eagerness, and
then, instead of throwing it into the
next room, I threw it behind the upper
portion of a picture which was slightly
inclined forward from the wall. The
surprise of the cat, who, closely fol¬
lowing my movements, had observed
the direction in which I threw the
bread, and its disappearance, was ex¬
treme. The uneasy look of the animal
indicated its consciousness that a ma¬
ter al object traversing space could
not be annihilated. For some time
the cat considered the matter, then it
started off into the next room,evident¬
ly guided by the reflection that the
piece of bread having disappeared, it
must have gone through the wall. But
the bread had not gone through the
wail, and the cat returned disappoint¬
ed. The animal’s logic was at fault.
I again attracted its attention by my
gestures, and sent a second piece of
bread to join the first behind the pic¬
ture. This time the cat jumped upon
a divan and went straight to the hid¬
ing place, Having inspected the
frame on both sides it began to ma
nceuvre so dexterously with its paw
that it shifted the lower edge of the
picture away from the wall, and thus
got at the two pieces of bread.
A German diplomatist of the last
century has recorded a similar obser
vation respecting a favorite female cat,
and advances it as proof of consecutive
and conclusive reasoning on thq part
of the animal. “I noticed,” say
Baron von Gleieben, “that she was
constantly looking at herself in the
glass, retreating from her own Image
and running hack to it again, and es¬
pecially scratching at the frames, for
all my glasses were inserted in panels.
This suggested to me the idea of plac¬
ing a toilet mirror in the middle of the
room, so that my cat might have the
pleasure of examining it all round.
She began by making sure (by ap¬
proaching and withdrawing as usual)
that she was dealing with a glass like
the others. She passed behind it seve¬
ral times, more quickly each time; but,
seeing that she could not get at this
cat, which was always too quick for
her, she placed herself at the edge of
the mirror, and looking alternately on
one side and the other, she made quite
sure that the cat which she had just
seen neither was nor had been behind
the mirror. Then she arrived at the
conclusion that the cat was inside it.
But how did she proceed to test this
conclusion, the last that remained to
her? Keeping her place at the edge of
the mirror, she rose on her hind feet
and stretched out her fore paws to feel
the thickness of the glass; then, aware
that it did not afford sufficient space
to contain a cat, she withdrew deject¬
edly. Being convinced that the mat¬
ter in question was a phenomenon
for her to discover, because
was outside the circle of her ideas,
never again looked in any glass,but
once renounced an object which had
excited her curiosity.”
Misused Christian Names.
“Frank” is a very pretty, pleasant
sounding name writes Oliver Wendell
Holmes in the Atlantic, and it is not
strange that many persons use it in
common conversation all their days
when speaking of a friend. Were they
really christened by that name, any of
these numerous Franks? Perhaps they
were, and if so there is nothing to be
said. But if not, was the baptismal
name Francis or Franklin ? The mind
is apt to fasten in a very perverse and
unpleasant way upon this question,
which too often there is no possible
way of settling. One might hope, if he
outlived the bearer of the appellation,
to get at the fact; but since even grave¬
stones have learned to use the names
belonging to childhood and infancy in
their solemn record, the generation
which docks its Christian names in
suen an un-Christian way will be¬
queath whole churchyards full of
riddles to posterity. How it will puz¬
zle and distress the historians and an¬
tiquarians of a coming generation to
settle what was the real name of Dan
and Bert and “Billy,” which last is
legible on a white marble slab, raised
in memory of a grown person, in a
certain burial-ground in a town in
Essex County!
If you have but moderate abilities,
industry will supply their deficiency.
FOR STUTTERERS.
A Talk with a Man who
Cures Stammering.
An Affliction, that is Sometimes Ac¬
quired by Association.
“It’s a terrible affliction. Yes, I
know; have seen many cases worse
than yours. Have you always been so,
or did it come from association ? I’ve
3een folks stammer so that they had
to stand on their heads to talk. Or
rather, I mean, they couldn’t talk
without standing on their head. Take
a seat; don’t say a word; don’t excite
yourself by speaking until I tell you,”
and the professor of stammering set¬
tled the Star man into a chair and
began to instruct him as to the cause
of stammering.
“B—but—I—I—don’t—” broke out
the scribe.
“There now; stop. Say but.”
“But I don’t stammer,” cried the
Star. “At least I didn’t when I came
here. I just want to talk about other
folks who stammer.”
The professor comprehended the
situation.
“Stammering. Well, stammering is
the effect of a cause which is the effect
of another cause. See? Lots of folks
stammer. I cure them. It is a pecu¬
liar affliction. It has been supposed to
be incurable. Stammerers are ner¬
vous because they stammer and don’t
stammer because they are nervous.
Some people stammer so that they
have a fit when they go to talk. One
young fellow was brought here by his
father, and when I asked him if he
wanted me to treat him, he puffed his
cheeks out, and began puffing wind in
jerks between his lips, making faces
and beating the air with his arms, and
finally fell right over backwards on
his head. He was trying to say ‘Yes.’
I took him in charge, and in three
quarters of an hour he was talking to
me without an effort.”
There is a peculiarity about folks
who stammer. They never like each
other’s company. Deaf mutes now
class together. They get to under¬
stand each other and like to keep to¬
gether. But stutterers will run from
each 1 ocher, and you can’t offend a
stammering man more than, to bring
him into contact with another, so that
there should be any apparent rivalry.
I have known very serious itrouble to
arise from two strange stutterers
meeting each other. I know a white
man, who was nearly killed "by a stut¬
tering negro who thought when he
stuttered back a reply to an inquiry
that he was making game of him.
Down South there was a case that
came near resulting in a duel A
stranger in the place, a young gentle¬
man who was terribly afflicted in his
speech, was introduced to a young lady
at a ball who was afflicted in the same
way. When he stuttered out a request
for the next dance she took great of¬
fense because she thought he was
mimicking her infirmity. She inform¬
ed her brother and a challenge ensued,
but the seconds discovered the mis¬
take.”
“Are ail the stutterers born so?”
asked the scribe.
“Most of them, but not all. I heard
of two young men who stuttered ter¬
ribly. They were close friends. One
was born with the infirmity, and the
other acquired it through imitation,
because of his admiration for his
afflicted friend. Families sometimes
get to stammering in this way. I
don’t suppose any body ever heard of a
stuttering man and a stuttering woman
marrying. They would never get
along with their courtship. But some¬
times a woman will get to stammering
because of association with an afflicted
husband, and the children will follow
it up. It is not in this case an hered¬
itary physical defect. It is entirely
the result of association. I once found
an aunt and three nieces who were
afflicted in this way. They all lived
together, and their conversations were
very remarkable. I cured them all.”
“Stammering is an affliction that
has kept some of the wealthiest and
most accomplished young ladies and
gentlemen almost as recluses out of
society. Some folks are so sensitive
about the matter that they won’t have
any thing to do with any body.”
“How long does it take you to cure a
bad case?” the Star man asked.
“Sometimes,” the professor replied,
“1 can effect a cure in half an hour;
sometimes it takes days or even a week
or two. It depends more upon the
intelligence of toe patient than upon
the severity of the case. I was trav¬
eling through Virginia, and at one of
the little way stations there was a tel¬
egraph operator and express agent who
stuttered so at times that he would
fall right down on the floor in convul¬
sions while trying to speak. It hap¬
pened that the train that brought me
to his station also brought a young
man who was to take his place on ac-
count of his inefficiency. I got on to
the circumstances in the case, and got
off the train ahead of the relief opera
tor, and getting the stuttering man off
in a back room of the station succeeded
in curing him from stuttering while
the other was waiting to relieve him
of his job.”— Washington Star.
Elephant* Ruled by Fear.
George Artingstall, the noted ele¬
phant trainer, now managing twenty
elephants in Barnum’s circus, said to a
New York Mail and Express reporter
that for twenty-three years he had
done nothing but train and manage
elephants. I rule them all through
fear and not affection. They are nat¬
urally very affectionate animals at
times, but are sure to take advantage
of any concessions granted them on
that score. If I see a keeper becoming
kind to an elephant I discharge him
and hire another. The "first thing I
teach a baby elephant is his name.
Then I compel him to come when his
name is called. If he is tardy
learning I punish him severely.
course of training is long and arduous,
and depends on the amount of intelli¬
gence the elephant possesses. The
African elephants are more tractable
than the India elephants, and if any¬
thing have more intelligence. Most
of the trained elephants are from Af¬
rica. I have some elephants that are
disposed to be fakirs, i. e., to make a
pretence of performing;without actu¬
ally coming up to the ■ excellence re¬
quired. I punish them severely, and
perhaps two or three performances
will pass before they get back to their
old shyster tricks. I have succeeded in
breeding several young elephants in
this country, something which was
never done before. A time may come
when the species wili be propagated in
America, and the plains of the West
be filled with roving herds of ele¬
phants. But it will be a very long
time I think.
"In captivity they attain the age of
75 years, and roving wild in their na¬
tive forests live over 100 years. At 25
years old an elephant is easily trained.
The older they get the harder they are
to teach and the more mischievous do
they become. An elephant trainer’s
life is one of constant care and uncer¬
tainty.”
Modes of Dying.
Augustus C.csar chose to die in a
standing position, and was careful in
arranging his person and dress for the
occasion. Julius Caesar, when slain
by the conspirators in the capitol, con¬
cealed his face beneath the folds of his
toga, so that his enemies might not
see the death pang upon his counte¬
nance. Si ward, Earl of Northumber¬
land, when at the point of death,
quitted his bed and put on his armor,
saying: “It becomes not a man to die
like a beast.” Maria Louisa, of Aus¬
tria, a short time before she breathed
her last, had fallen into an apparent
slumber, aud one of the ladies in at¬
tendance remarked that her majesty
seemed to be asleep, “No,” replied
she, “I could sleep if I would indulge
repose; but I am sensible of the near
approach of death, and I would not
allow myself to be surprised by him in
my sleep. I wish to meet him wide
awake.” Lord Nelson, on receiving
the fatal shot, said to Captain Hardy,
“They have done for me at last,Hardy
My backbone is shot through,” and
had the presence of mind, while being
carried below, to take out his handker
chief, and cover his face and stars, to
be concealed from the gaze of the
crew. And, last of all, the great Bo¬
naparte died in his field marshal’s uni¬
form and boots, which he had ordered
to be put on a short time previous to
his dissolution.
flow Soudanese Dress their Hair.
The Ababdeh Arabs, who hold the
short cut across the Nubian Desert
from Abu-Hamed northward to Kor
osko, twist their hair into long spiral
curls no thicker than a quill, which,
being intertwined with slender skew¬
ers of ivory, make the whole head look
very much like a monstrous porcupine.
The Bishareens, again, who lie a little
to the southeast of the Ababdehs, in
the desert between Abu-Hamed and
Suakin, comb the hair of the crown
straight up into the air to a hight of
several inches, while letting the rest
hang down on either side. The great
Kabbabish tribe (stretching westward
through Kordofan into Darfour) vary
this arrangement by gathering the
crown hair into an enormous knot,
while the side locks fall down upon
the neck to right and left. Their
southern neighbors, the Baggarras, ac¬
tually shave the head altogether and
walk bareheaded under the burning
sun, confident in the impenetrable
skulls given them by nature. A simi¬
lar custom prevails among the Yemen
Arabs of Southwestern Arabia, who
shave the fore part of the head, while
allowing the hind hair to stand out in
one great bush nearly half a toot in
hight.—N«o York Times.
SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS.
Lead veins are thickest in limestone,
thinner in sandstone and thinnest in
The latter however, contains
the greatest percentage of silver.
Dr. B. J. Jeffries holds that the
three primary colors are red, green
and violet; that blindness to violet is
rare, and that color blindness is prac¬
tically confined to red or green.
The temperature of British waters
is to be studied with reference to its
influence on the fisheries. The duke
of Edinburgh is interested in the in¬
vestigation, which he considers a most
important one.
Every plant begins life like an animal
—a consumer, not a producer. Not
until the young shoot rises above the
soil and unfolds itself to the light of
the sun, at the touch of whose rays
chlorophyl is created, does real con¬
structive vegetation begin. Then the
plant's mode of life is reversed; car¬
bon is retained and oxygen set free.
Flying fish do not fly, is the r a ;ertion
of Dr. K. Mobiu3, a German zoologist.
The muscles of their pectoral fins ar
too small to sustain the weight of th e
body in the air. The impulse to which
they owe their long shooting passage
through the air is delivered, while
they are still in the water, by the
powerful masses of muscle on both
sides of their body.
A German physiologist, Prof. Eulen.
berg, has found that different parts of
the body are very unequally sensitive
to differences of heat and cold, the
sense of temperature being most acute
in the forehead ani the back of the
hands, and least active in the back and
upper part of the abdomen. At the
former spots differences of about a
third of a Fahrenheit degree were
distinctly perceived, but at the other
two points differences were only de¬
tected when reaching nearly 2 degrees,
A new French apparatus, called ihe
cylindrograph, is designed to photo
graph at a single operation a wide
sweep of the adjacent country. The
instrument consists of a camera of
semi-circular form with a small lens in
the centre, which moves on an axis
The dark slide is of some material
which will bend, and when a view is
to be taken the lens is turned upon the
the centre from one side of the land
scape to the other. The panoramic
pictures thus secured are sufficiently
good to serve surveying, military and
other purposes.
A Cotcboy's Whip.
“The hilarious cowboy has tastes
ybich we are constantly, endeavoring
to cultivate and satisfy. Here is the
latest effort in that line,” said a Cham¬
bers street dealer in horse jewelry. He
held in his hand a peculiar whip.
There was a metal stock seven inches
long, in the butt of which was a heavy
whistle. Pulling out the whistle, he
he revealed a capacious match safe,
arul " !ien !ie let 8° of the whistle a
spring popped it back in place, where
it closed the match safe. Around the
stock was a short thong of lacing
leather which made a loop just large
enough to hold two fingers of the cow¬
boy’s hand. The other end of the
stock terminated in a tapering rubber
half an inch in diameter at the thick
end and a quarter of an inch a foot
away, where there was a little loop.
A steel spring wire ran through the
rubber to give it strength.- Two feet
of heavy leather about the size of a
sewing machine band was drawn half
through the loop, thus forming a
double lash.
“People here do not know how to
whip a horse,” the dealer continued
"They lash him under the belly and
across the shoulders. The patient an¬
imal at last balks. If I was a horse I
wouldn’t balk I’d kick the stuffing out
of everything within a rod of me if I
was whipped like that. The cowboy
is more persuasive. He swings the
whip by that loop around the handle
over two fingers of his right hand, and
swaying the whip across in front of
him, brings his hand down on his left
hip. The double lashes have an exhil¬
arating effect on the horse’s hind quar¬
ters. Only an unbroken Mexican
broncho would fail to appreciate that
sort of treatment, and if he survived
the application of six-inch buzz-saw
that would immediately follow,
he would never hesitate again when
whipped on the quarters.”— New York
,
Village Repartee.
Grocer—“Strainers, coffe strainers ?
Why, no, Mrs. Gabb, we don’t keep
but our coffee don’t need strain¬
ing if you no how to make it.”
Customer (testily)—“Oh don’t you
worry your self about my cookin’. I
know how to make coffee a big sight
better than you da My coffee is as
as cider.”
“Then what do you want a strainer
for?”
“For your sugar.”— Call.
NO. 34.
BVMOROVS.
rhe joke on the gentle plnmber
Now silently steals away;
And the jest on the new spring 'bonnet
Will Unger along through May;
And through the long hot summer,
Like the ettrse of a fearful dream,^ A,
Will float the ancient chestnut
Of the girl that likes ice cream;
And the joke of the boy and the apples .4
Through the autumn winds wiU sound;
But the joke on the wreched ice-man
Lasteth the whole year round.
Cut down—the results of his first
shave.
The literary man always has write
on his side.
Food for reflection never yet filled,
an empty stomach.
A cologne bath is a sort of a penny
dip. It is one for a scent.
“Yes,” he said, “before marriage I
thought I could live on love. I anx
now living on my father-in-law.”
The youth who woos and wins a
girl at the rink will find it but a few
steps * from roller-skates to the rolling
pj n
A caustic wit, in speaking of an im¬
pecunious friend, said: “He settles
bis debts just like clockwork—tick,
tick, tick.” v
“Nystagmus, or oscillation of the'
eyeballs, is an epileptiform affectiin
of the cerebellular oculomotorial
centres.” Now we know.
As a title can now be bought in
Europe for $500 there i3 no reason
why any more American heiressess '
shouId marr y organ-grinders,
Mi3s Angelica —“I suppose you have
going about a great deal lately,
Mr - McFamish?” “No; I have only
.,
1)661110 one dinner in two weeks.’’
“Dear me! You must be very hun
S T 7-"
It is said that bees and wasps will
not sling a person whose skin is.
smeared with honey. This, of course,
ma y be perfectly true, but the trouble
with the insects Is that they won’t
always wait until a fellow can smear
himself.__
Hunting Wild Turkeys.
Hunting the wild turkey is consid¬
ered very good sport, but as they are
only in season during the cold months
it requires a hunter of endurance to
find them. In the mountains they
have a curious way of getting a shot..
After building a “blind” of bough to
hide behind, the hunter throws a
quantity ot grain upon the ground
within easy gunshot, and-drops a few
grains in lines radiating probably for
100 yards in every direction through
the woods. There is then a pian\upon
the ground like the hub and spokes'ttf
a wheel. Early in the morning
wandering flock of turkeys will find
one of these spokes and run along it
eating as they go, until they reach
the feast of corn at the hub. This is
where the hunter is concealed, and
you can imagine the rest. They get
to the feast, but like Felonious it is a
feast “not where they eat, but where
they are eaten.”
Another device for luring them
within gunshot is the turkey call, a
sort of whistle made often from a
wing bone, and with which the voice
of a turke >’. can be ver v wel1 imitated.
-
The male birds answer and gradually
approach, amid breathless interest on
the part of the sportsman, until bang!
bang! off go both barrels, and it fre
quentiy happens, off go the turkeys
with only the loss of a few feathers.
The gobbler is an iil-natured churl
and will break up his wife’s nest and
smash the eggs every time he gets an
opportunity. Worst of all he kills the
young, not alone of his own family,
but also of his neigbors. This teaches
mother turkey to hide her nest away
and to guide her young so they will
not be discovered by the male. The
instinct clings to them in domestica
tion antl re< l uire c l° se watching
P reven ^ nests from being hid
den away.
A Peculiar Plant. /
The pitcher plant, found on /he
Island of Borneo, has l-ong narrow
leaves, each of which has a thi/ vein
running down the middle to /he end,
where it kind forms a cord, to wl/ch is fas¬
tened a of a jug with-fid and all
complete. Round the td>p is a thick
rim—stiff, like a wire 1 —which keeps
the soft sides of the jug in their place.
The upper part of the pitcher is
shaped like a funnel,which runs down
to a bowl below. iVhen flies and ants
settle upon the edge and begin sipping,
the honey hidden there, they slip down
into the pitcher which has some water
at the bottom. The narrow funnel or
the stiff hooks prevent their escape
and they fall into the water. As soon
as a fly goes in the water begins to
flow from the sides of the pitcher and
dissolves the body, forming a kind of
soup which feeds the plants. Some¬
times these pitchers are so large that
small birds go in to drink, and the
books keep t them in, so they die them,