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THE LINCOLNTON NEWS
VOLUME VII. NUMBER 2.
The gathering of buffalo bones has
become a business at Manitoba.
There are projected in the Southern
States 7000 miles of railroad, and sur¬
veys have been made on over 6000 miles
of it.
■ The English Volapuk dictionary which
is to be issued this year will be the first
of its kind either in this country or in
England._
China recently received its first impor¬
tation of foreign soap. The Chinese
soap is of alkaline earth, and the mate¬
rial used for washing the hands is the
pod of a tree. _
The oldest woman’s club in the United
States is the Women's Physiological
Institute of Boston. Forty-one years
ago it was organized with the purpose
of promoting the more perfect health of
women. There is one surviving charter
member, a Mrs. Hobbs, and she is
eighty years old.
A shipment of 150 pounds of metallic,
chemically pure aluminum, the first ex¬
port of this metal from the United
States, has been made from Newport,
Ky., to London, Eng'and. Thepreciou3
metal, which sold at fifty cent3 pci
pound, was smelted from Kentucky ore
and clay by a process which is as yet te¬
dious and is kept a secret.
Recently there arrived in New York
three large steamers laden with rict
from Japan. We have always received,
says the American Cultlvitor our largest
importations of rice from Patna in India,
and Rangoon, Burmah. Japmese rice
is the sweetest and richest in the world,
but its chief exportation heretofore hat
been to Great Britain.
The Short-horn cows first imported to
the United States, and even down to the
middle of the present century, were
abundant milkers and gveat butter
makers. But it has been the practice ol
the present generation to develop the
beef making tendency until the milking
qualities of American Short-horns hav«
been nearly bred out, and they art
scarcely regarded as a dairy breed in this
country._
The Interior Department at Washing¬
ton has just decided that applicants for
patents cannot legally “part their names
in the middle.” The case in point was
that of a Miss Green, who signed her
name as N. Kate Green. The decision
is that the first name should have been
' spelled out to make the claim valid.
Lawyers who part their names in the
middle have been somewhat startled by
this ruling, facetiously observes the
Times-Democrat, and have concluded to
be on the safe side by signing their
names hereafter to all legal documents in
full.
There is considerable interest taken in
New York over the reported formation
of a new European steamship line, its
object to be the more rapid transporta¬
tion of tropical fruits to both the Lon¬
don and New York markets. Six new
steamers will be specially constructed
for the service of the company, special
attention being given to refrigerator ac¬
commodations, which are expected to
add twenty-five per cent, to the value of
imported fruits. The capacity of the
steamers will range from 1700 to 3300
tons, while their speed will be developed
beyond eighteen knots.
A movement is being set on foot by
the Philanthropic Society in Paris foi
providing better dwellings for working¬
men. On the occasion of the laying of
the foundation stone of the new block of
buildings for this purpose, M. Pilot, a
member of the Institute, stated that fifty
four thousand families, comprising one
hundred and ninety thousand indi¬
viduals, are now receiving relief
from the Bureaux de Bienfaisance, the:
condition of the Parisian poor hav-'
ing become much worse, owing to the
richer classes having gone to live outside
the city. Whole families in Paris, it is
said, live in one room. Between such a
condition of affairs and French Com¬
munism wo think, declares the New
Ypfk Observer, it woqid be easy to trace
A connecting link.
Arguing from the standpoint of Pro¬
fessor Stamfoid E. Chaillo, tho New
Orleans Picayune dolefully declares that
we are brought by figures face to face
with the fact that “women are growing
constantly more beautiful aud more
numerous, while tho men are dying,
fading out of existence, and their last
despairing gaze is to be fixed on a race
of goddesses ‘divinely tall and most di¬
vinely fair.’ ” Tho troublo with this de¬
duction, observes tho New York Sun,
lies in the all-important tact that these
thundering big goddesses will ha e
ions—fellows that won’t peg out easily
or fade out ellher. Certainly the ladies
are taller aud heavier thau they used
to bo. It may bo that they arc more
beautiful, too, though the old follows
ny no. But the young fellows of to¬
day are blggor and atrongor than the
sbap* of thirty or forty years ago. The
yorhj w*q never bolorq so full ol
nighty athletes whoso exploits throw in
|ho shade »U that ia recorded of the
{Philemon ofhmgago. Hurrah for * he
big girls, and hurrah for their sons!
They will be mighty chaps.
DEVOTED TO THE INTEREST OE LINCOLN COUNTY.
VANQUISHED.
With red on the cheeks and fire in the eyes
We come to thy conflicts, 0 life!
We know we are strong, and we think we
are wise,
As we plunge in the strife; V
We have __ youth, .l we have strength, .
We have hope, and at length
We we have have love love. O O life! life I
With the strength of our youth and the fire
of onr hearts
We take up thy challenge, O life!
But we know not our foe has his traitors
within
As we wrestle in strife;
And unnoticed, unknown,
. At blood, sinew and bone,
They are feasting, O life!
Till the red of our cheeks and the fire of our
eyes
Have faded, are quenched, O lifel
No more are we strong—’tis but left to be wise
And retreat from the strife—
As we yield to the truth
Of our vanishing youth
We prove it, O life!
—Margaret II. Lawless, in Frank Leslie's.
HUFF AND TIFF. -
—
Who were they? They were Mr. and
Mrs. Thwaite, and they had been so for a ;
few weeks only. They became Huff and j
Tiff when they married. |
of Although they were well-to-do citizens I
great New Latrcaster they had not
been manied grandly in church, be
'cause they were so young; and if the
truth match. must come out,' it had been a run- j '
away No one could understand
why they had run away, as the opposi
tion to their marriage had been more of !
a postponing character than anything
else; but Mr. Thwaite had suggested that j
the former Miss Featherly had too little j
money There had for his son’s intended wife. !
been a stormy scene, in which
the two vessels, old and young gentle- j
man, of thunder. had come Is into it collision, amid claps j
necessary to say more? ;
No; surely all persons of 20 will see
why young Thwaite married precipitate
ly and Hew with his charming wife into
lodgings.
wife, “Huff, dear, I’m all ready,” said his
entering the room.
Shcwas.dressedforwalking.it dinner time, and she her being
near wore bend
ing spring hat and clinging buff gown,
Her teeth glinted, her eyes darkened as
she looked down at her husband, who
had been reading a novel of Victor
Hgo.
Thwaite looked up, stretched, sprang
to his feet, and bustled about getting
his hat, gloves and cane. Then he 1
clapped his hands scientifically.
“You have yourpursei”
“Yes,” says he. “You have your
parasol:”
They “Yes,” says she.
went and had their dinner.
Thwaite had been silent all the way
home from the hotel restaurant. When
they got back totbeir pretty parlor he
sank into a chair and stared before him
fixedly. Tiff,! j
“What’s the matter?” asked
catching tomed sight of something unaccus
about him. „
“Oh, nothing, Tiff. Don’t trouble
yourself about it. Only-” His lips
remained open, but no words followed.
'
“Dearest, “No-partly, have you fallen ill?”
into ill luck. I thought though. I’ve fallen
I had some
money in an inner compartment of my
purse and—it is not there I”
“You’vespent “Certainly it?”
not! That is, I suppose I
must have.”
“And what have you in the outside
compartments Titf, lazily of your purse?” asked
her dainty fanning herself and putting
two feet on the hassock.
The only answer Thwaite seemed
es likely to make was to begin feeling ° of all
pockets.
“Hey!” said Tiff.
Thwaite, “Why, none shortly, there now,” answered
as, of course, he
hadn’t.
“Good gracious!” said Tiff, snapping
her bracelet, “how unusual, isn’t it?’*
“Why, yes, that’s what troubles me; I
never was out of cash in all my life bj
forethis.”
“Aren’t there such things as checks?”
asked Mrs. Thwaite, turning her eye 3
upon him lovingly.
Thwaite laughed.
“I should thinkso. But then I haven’t
any about me.”
“There are so many banks. Where
do you cash your checks?”
“When I have them.” said Thwaite,
cigar,” going to cash the mantelpiece to light a
I them at the first bank I
come to.”
give “Perhaps check if you go to the bank they’ll
“No, you hardly.” a to cash,” she said.
“Aren’t there such things as accounts
at banks?”
“Heavens, Tiff, why not?”
“Weil, then, go to the bank where
you have one.”
Her husband took h* s cigar . from his
hp s > growing pale.
“What the deuce am I to do? I have
no balance." And Tiff made no reply,
Tiff was as fresh as a rose the next
day. She popped her head out of the
window and sniffed the air.
“ How perfectly sweet it is this morn
ing!” linen.’’ said she. “I mean to wear my gaay
“Wherc are you going?” asked Huff,
She turned slowly and gazed at him.
“Oh, yes, I do remember now. No break
fast.”
“It is too cruel, my love," says ho,
leaning in despair. against anything he could find
“But I shall go to and a placo
or two of business I know of, get
something word profitable to do at once. Upon
my I will loon be back, fully
equipped nothing serious for a hearty lunch. befall two As you happy say,
can
young beings like you and me.”
Cn ho went into the sunshine and Tiff
sat down domuroly cuiious to find out
What would happen next.
Hho had to wait till evening for that
“next thing,” unless a series of strange
phases terestirg. of feeling It could then that bo counted Huff Thwaite as in
was
burst Into the room, his face gloamiug
vvhitoly Said Huff in the dim his light, have
on return: “I been
curing up and down capital the connection city all day, with fiually so
a father’s
rival insurance company; nothing but, by the
beard of Moses, I have had but
a glass of wine and a biscuit since last
evening. As this soou as I was fairly realized launched
ia busmen afternoon I that,
LINCOLNTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 1888.
of course, I could not expect to receive
any cash the first day, and I became al
most wild with anxiety. Yet it was im
?^ r ? tl T5 .Do J ou not know
tba * {* u imperative in business to
r
l dnn'i,•# don t care if it is 1” retorted , , Tiff, _
with some show of life. “And you ,
Bhould care more that I am “ verv Ter Y' vervill Ter y HI- !
T have read iT Hugo until .iT I am as hungry as
. “But, this Tiff, I have one profound hope
in terrible dilemma,in which it now 1
seems as if we should literally starve, un- •
Havrvo\Tofa?vlon Mrs? Waite 1 Z7 e ?i" eUSrOUnded ‘ !
her head back
a mockery, barinJsf her pale 6 ? lips ^ smiling, -y 0 ^^ heflus- *“
husband’s nusDaua s & neaa. Dg 7 OYet ’
" ot ^P“ crled kneeling e waiting .... before for your her. an
'
‘ S c , jL“ S ,K rl tarn Ji i y, )w 1 have couId morey,” 1 have pm an
TT y° u are be Y° nd y° ur I
,re “" 4 r
Thwaite, springing - up and waltzing a
h ‘ S Cane ‘ Thea s ‘°PP in g j
-° a ked ' How came you not t to men
tion t it - at last evenemng? Give
once me
HuSSS* de i ay v dearest T if
Tiff walked over to the encouraging
hands figure in behind the middle of the room, her
her sloping waist.
“Huff Thwaite, I never couidhavebe
Eeved it." j |
“What?”
“That you could not take care of me.”
She began to cry. and spent all the tears
s!ie had longed to shed during the day, I
hut would not shed them because Huff
was taking care of her.
“Here!” she said, dramatically. He
looked up and saw a pretty purse before
nose, and he took it.
ache In a couple of hours more Tiff's head-'
had gone off like mist, and they
l 50 *-! 1 looked even gayer than before the
terrible ordeal of that day had set in.
At 9 o’clock there came a knock at the
door. The servant stepped over to Mrs.
Thwaite and said something in a low
Mrs. Thwaite replied in the same
manner. Who could have supposed that j
there would be a serious sequel to such 1
had 8 slight withdrawn, occurrence? When the servant
says Tiff: “Please, Huff,
hand me $5.”
thoughts, “Certainly, Tiff. But on second
remember how careful we must
be for a month.”
“I wi sh you would reflect that the
laundress must be paid.”
lavish “Oh, we can’t spend money In so
a way as that at present. She
must wait.”
“Well, says the blooming wife, un
concerned one way or the other, “1’1[ go
and send her off.”
She left the room and did not return
for five minutes. Then, after sitting
down again and reading a few passages
°f Mrs. Browning, she looked up with
? smile as if at some joke, which was
bad inexplicable iye her under the circumstances. “I
t0 S ? the I thought clothes,” she said.
did.” . y° u you always
“I mean, of course, the laundered oass
she had brought. ”
“Weren’t they just right?”
“Huff, you are getting obtuse.
took them in payment."
“I “Mercy!”
can make mv things last just about
a month, that way.”
“But how am I to manage with onlv
twenty-four thrown shirts, and at least seven
to the dogs a week?”
“That does seem a problem,” mused
Tiff, laying down Mrs. Browning’s
poem’s “Couldn’t temporarily on her knee.
it you long?” buy a flannel shirt and
wear ever so
“Couldn’t you get a bathing dress?”
demanded Huff, with withering sarcasm.
“Oh!” gasprd Tiff, “how fearful you
always Suppose are!”
the quarrel over, and for a
day or'two intense peace. Then came
an “Well, episode. dears,
how do you do”’ The
speaker was and a fine girl, joyous with early
morning Huff and Tiff unusual excitement.
were transfixed. They
were just starting out for breakfast.
“I was determined to find you in, and
so I came at this hour,” went on the visit
or. “It has taken us a good while to
find you, since papa would hear of it.
The detective saya you drank Stein
berger yesterday-”
“How dare you enter the same air we
breathe?" thundered Huff, striding up
to his sister and taking her round the
waist for a stout kiss. “We ignore your
existence."
“What a lovely room!” exclaimed
Esther, sitting down with Tiff on the
sofa, with a sweep of eyes, and then
cheek bending until sideways toward the bride’s
cheeks and lips met. “You
dear!”
“You love 1” said Tiff, and they Cro¬
brace,
again; “Papa says through you must be married over
go the form and all the
show aud importance,” remarked Es
ther, with the most fascinating, lazy
nonchalanco. “He said he never saw
anything go off like cotton into flames
as you did, brother; juA as though any
one was more in love with your Bessie
Featherly than he was. He don’t re¬
member “Please forbidding the marriage at all.”
to tell my father," said Huff,
severely, held her looking chin down her hand, at his wife, who
in “that I re
mernbor his forbidding it (or as bad as
forbidding add that it) very distinctly. And
please father, and from this time forth, my
yes, all the rest of you, is—
are—dead tome!”
“Dreadful words, those.Will,” sighed
his sister, glancing up with compressed
lips. Mrs. “Don’t-you Tiff shook think head so, Bessie?”
her and smiled,
“Mr. Thwaite is never in the wrong,”
said she, and felt a little awkward at
her own assertion,
said Esther she believed thought a moment, and then
she would not stay any
longer just hor now. Huff said that he
would sec could home, and then reflected
that he not very well carry out his
intention. had Esther, upon this, explained
that she come in the carriage,
When she had bowed herself through
the open door, she stopped to throw
over her shouldor a roulade of genial
laughter, Will,”
“By the way, she called, “if
wo were in the fashionable set, what a
torriblo notoriety you it two wild things
would have! As is, it is Iiko a nice
play. Adieu!”
“I wish my mother would come now,”
said Tiff, after the door had closed upon
her husband’s buoyant sister—who was
also a school friend—but after a pause.
or had something descended equivalent to one. Hufi
not to the carriage with
Miss Thwaite, for fear of catching sight
of the world-dreaded grin on the foot
man’s ..yJ, visaze.
Your mother is i. a . woman, - ,, dear,’’ ,
answered Thwaite, unusual as if that meant
something “and it will takes
d °o« ^ “ mJ
im.. .. , CD .. D ** y0 °
‘ °
can Hufl? t> e » guirzested Tiff ^ve
W0ldd like said that as s
betoobrillL^ wa" *£\?t arlvelation fdftw
thismight for Tif f
he remained silent.
IU ,he eveniD ?- they werc «
was customary, in the cheerful blue
tinted room, • Huff feel.ng 8 very cosy and
alool t the world and annoyino
relativC3> and remembering his day’s
occupation if *it in the rival insurance office
as were a dream.
UD j t ed calm to atoms.
It was Esther, pah and trembling, het
ashen around face it and emphasised her by a black veil
over colored dress a
'“ k *■« -w”* ‘»<i <■
sister, . , whaj , . , has happened tc
whispered ,S e ^ ^ Esther, ® lb dol *u, dropping or I shall her faint, head
against his arm.
“ er to an easy chair, , . and ,
, 5. e lcd down its soft cushions,
Tl ? i I 48 , upon tlle window,
a ? n °P e “ In f
•
then running to Esthers side, find
mg her, however, a little less faint, hei
e ;f 9 ook,n S rapitdy from one to the
°, r 88 \ he two sympathetic young peo
P !e , bent toward her.
“Dear sister” sobbed Tiff, “has
something “My father,” terrible happened?”
said the wh : te-faced
girl, in low tones, shutting her eyes,
“Father! father!” cried Thwaite
ter deeply ’ hands agitated, in and clutching his sis-
3 a firmer grasp. “What
news of him!”
“Dead!”
The young couple sank on either side
of Esther, crushed and horrified. With
out “When opening her eyes, Esther spoke on:
I told how you received the
losing message, brother Will, in one
moment”
Thwaite’s distress was agonizing. Es
tber stopped speaking, opened her eyes
and leaned forward eagerly.
“Was it right to be so harsh and un
yielding Her brother to your own father. Will:”
had withdrawn to the
other side of the room, his face buried
in his arms against the wall.
“Oh, have we no hope?” Tiff sobbed.
“Why, yes, there is hope in this case,”
Miss Thwaite said, in a different tone.
Will turned, his face covered with tears.
“You said it, brother, and you can undo
it. Dead to you I”
Esther had played a dangerous game,
but she was a determined girl and felt
equal to the emergency. Her strong
presence and sound good cheer buoyed
U enabled P *}“ tw Thwaite » victims to of recover her scheme, from and the
shock he had undergone.
She drew a letter from her pocket
which had been written by Will’s elder
brother in Chicago to his father, .upon
bearin S o£ the runawa y match. He,
praised Will up to the skies, and declared
^ ba f any girl he chose must be a price-
3 Jewcl > whether she possessed any
or not, and he begged his father to do
the handso “ e thit >g by them both.
‘ And so, concluded Esther, “papa
^ ants to g lve you a magnificent recep
”
She had thrown as de her black dra
P e, y and dusted the powder from her
c E ee hs with , a flourish . of her scented
handkerchief, and now ran to the par
lor and called “John!” in a business¬
llke wa y. In another instant a walking
hill of flowers emerged from the shadows
of the entry, and John, in dark green
cloth and silver buttons, set two huge
baskets of flowers upon the carpet.
“Papasent them to you, Bessie, with
sai< * Esther, “And I shall
soon be here again, shall I not?”
“Ch, do,” answered Tiff, hiding hei
face on Huff’s shoulder, with a twining
°f arms,
“Give our love to the governor, ’’roared
T Huff, flushed, grinning, jubilant.
Esther laughed merrily, caught up
her black drapery, and ran down stairs,
followed by John with a contortiot
about his lips.— Harper's Weekly.
A Cure for Insomnia.
“So many cures have been advocated
for sleeplessness that I am tempted,’
writes a correspon dent, ‘ ‘to prop sund my
own recipe, which, if it may appeal
somewhat impracticable and far-fetched,
lias at least the advantage of simplicity.
It tumbled is, merely this: When you hav6
and tossed about one bed until
your pillow seems to be on fire and your
sheets red hot, turn into another—I mean
another bed. You will find the sheets
and the pillow refreshingly cool, and it
is probable at all events that you will go
to sleep. Therecipe is not infallible, and
it is of course necessary to have anothei
bed to turn into, which is not always
possible. But when practicable it is
worth trying; and if it fails one can al¬
ways fall back on the undoubted fact
that there is no universal cure for sleep¬
lessness. What is one man’s meat is
another man’s poison .”—Pall Mall Bud¬
get.
Japanese Vegetable Wax.
Japan wax is obtained from a tree,
which is found in Japan, China and
throughout the East Indies generally. In
the Japanese language it is called hajt
or haze. The tree commences to beai
fruit when five or six years old, and in¬
creases its single product every will year, till at fifty
years pounds a of berries, tree from which produce 350
pounds of be obtained. seventy
wax can The
wax is formed in the middle of the
berry, between the seed and the skin,
like by boiling the pulp the of berries a grape. in It is extracted
water, and al¬
lowing it to cool, when the wax separates
out in a solid cake. The specific gravity
of this wax is 0.970, and its melting
point 131 used, degrees either alone Fahrenheit It it
largely tallow, the Chinese in or mixed with
candles. by the manufac¬
ture of The principal port ol
export is the City of Osaka, whenco, in
1876, nearly shipped 2,000,000 pounds of the wax
were to London.— Scienti/U
American,
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
The Playful Damsel—Adding la
salt to Injury—A Misander
standing—Both Abont
the Same Size, Etc.
“Where are you going,my pretty maidf’
‘‘May “Yes, if /go with yon,’ my pretty maid”
you’ll help me, sir,” she said.
Tg! llTT , , , ...
“It’s only a joke,” sbe softly said:
“I'm going a-benying, siri” He fled.
Kero Of Flynn, in Life. \
Adding Insnlt to Injury.
Scene at the Barracks.—Pitou, on re
turning the corridors from battalion drill, stroils along
main, “Left shouting with might and
Adjutant wheel, forward, ma-a-rch!”
Friston (opening the door)
—Four days’guardroom to Private Pi
toufor imitating the captain’s voice by
bawling Piastre. like a donkey .—La Patriote
m j !
A Misunderstanding.
Minister (who has just driven his horse
to hitch a wedding in the country): “Can I
out here?” j !
Gues3 Prospective Sal Bridegroom: “Wall no.
and the folk 3 ’d rather have
the hitchin’done in the house.—Time,
Both Abont the Same Size. !
scare. We thought at first that Johnny
had swallowed a gold five-dollar p ece. ii i
Doctor—“And you found out that be
didn’t?” j
Mother— “Yes; it was simply a nickeL ”
— Judge.
“Ah ““"‘r"Tr-' it fills my heart with g joy,” "“ said .j
a country minister, as the l,st note of the
organ died away, “to see so many
l r g fh S am ° Dg U k° a th f, toauuful
Sabbath KK morning. Thegood book says :
‘He was a stranger and I took him in.’
The collection will now be token up—
*
No Excuse for Him. !
Leader of Lynching Party—“Now,
young man, make a full confession, or up
you Prisoner—“I go.”
I pointed it was fooling and-” with a gun.
at my brother,
“You didn’t know it was loaded?”
“No.”
swing “Men, pull on the rope and let him
.”—Nebraska Journal.
A Difficult Diagnosis.
Old Family Physician—“What seems
to be the matter with your little dog,
Mrs. De Luflingwelii”
Mrs. De Luffingwell—“I think the
poor little fellow is having some trouble
with his throat; his bark is very hoarse,
If you would kindly get down on all
fours, my dear Dr. Cureslow, I am quite
sure he would bark for you .—New York
Sun.
Timely Warning.
Mrs. Dugan—“Jamesey!”
Mr. Dugan (drowsily)—“Yis.”
Mrs. Dugan—“Ye must git up if ye
want ter ketch the 2 o’clock train. Sure,
ye tould me ter wake ye at wan.”
Mr. Dugan—“An’ is it wan o’clock
now pi
Mrs. Dugan—“It is that. I heard it
ethrike wan free toimes jist now.”_
Times.
■
She Was No Pretender.
She had refused him absolutely and
thrown Mm overboard, but he persisted.
“You are my queen,” he pleaded,
“have mercy on your poor suffering sub
ject. Won’t vou love me?”
“No, I won’t,” she asserted emphati
cally, “I mean juat what I say, too. I’m
no After pretender he to the thrown.”
that arose and ate a bale of
hay and died happily .—Washington
Critic.
The Old Sian’s Mistake.
Mrs. Hendricks was entertaining some
ladies at a select little five o’clock tea,
and Bobby, who had been exceptionally
well behaved, was in hi<rii feather
“Ma,” he said politely, as refreshments
were being sewed, “may I have some
tongue, please?”
‘“There isn’t any tongue, Bobby ”
“I “That’s heard funny.” commented Bobby,
pa say there would be lots of
It,”_ Philip H. Welch.
A Limit to Bravery.
hundred-an’-fifty-poun’ Office-boy (to editor)—“Dere’s a two
wid gent outside, sir,
red spots on his eyes, wot wants ter
seede editor.”
Editor—“I’m no coward, James; show
him right in.”
kerlect Office-boy—“He says he wan’s ter
a bill.”
Editor (aghast)—“Great heavens,
house James, tell him I’ve gone to the poor
to visit my dear old father!”—
Life.
Out of the Frying Pan.
A New York man visited (he family of
a relative in the country, where he was
not a welcome guest by any manner of
“2 L n f t he Jl sit0r T £ ad disgusted ,. s P ent a
„ S t breakfast
table
family' will miss you painfuHy”? \ ? on
y ’ exc laimed the
roZ K _ Y . ^ hi V 6 g raph th6m 10
come right on here.’ ” -Siftings. c
*
y „ bp
'
_ Long Haired . Passenger Stranger)
—“My, friend, (to
are you a commercial
traveler?”
lots Stranger—“Yes, of ^ sir, _ and I’m making
money.”
Long friend, Haired Passenger—“Ah, my
young there is something to live
for in this world besides mere money,
which moth and rust corrupt, and which
thieves break through and steal. I was
a commercial man myself once.”
ness?” Stranger—“Didn’t you like the busi
Long Haired Passenger—“Yes. but
there wasn’t any money in it.”— Epoch.
A Matter of Pronunciation.
“Miss Howjames, shall we go to the
Subscription: $1.23 in Adnnoe.
concert this evening? The e programme
consists of selections from Wagner,"
“From whom, Mr. Cahokia?” -V.
“From “I have Wagner.” heard of him.”
never
“Great jewsharps! Never heard of
Wagner, the great German composer?”
don, “oh, you Cahokia,” mean Vogner. said the I beg Boston par¬
Mr.
young lady, composedly. “I did not
know you pleased were speaking attend of the Yogner. I
shall he to concert.”
And the young man from St. Louis
presently went out and took a great big
chew of tobacco.— Chicago Tribune.
Cross-Examined.
Ca5es “ ver Y often serve as the
“times ll+ which try men’s souls.” A per
son who can tell a straight and even
eloquent story, when he stumble, is given respect¬
ful attention, is apt to and even
fall, under the fire of legal examination.
“Well, Maria, how did you come out
yesterday?” asked a country matron of a
crony who had acted as a witness in an
important case. if truth
“I guess, the was told, I came
out at the little end of the horn,” said
Maria, frankly. “They mixed me all
up so’t I couldn’t tell whether I was
afoot or on horseback.”
“Couldn’t you tell a plain story?”
Hble “I thought I could, but they took ter
pans to confuse me. Why, the up
g hot of it was, I even said . I was mar
ried in ’30, and born in ’53!”
“-Now how came yon to do such a
thing as that, clear-headed.” 3faria? I al’ays thought
you was real
“I tell yon what ’tis. it don’t do no
good to be clear-headed when there’s
° “Did — they -
cross-examicc you?”
‘‘Cro s-examine me? Iguessthey did.
They ’most snapped my head off.”—
Youth's Companion.
A Bloodthirsty Audience.
itI" d 'k'p t&fatrical h poS,'°';?£‘c,r a i s
heard a story J that was not.
What / prove3 it t0 be a n old one 5s that
Ward Dame3 tha lace it occurred in .
Hewas pi a yi n g Virginias in some small
p Claudius’s j ace . You wdl remember that Appius
client, ’ who does the dirty J
work) comes oa in the last a(% has a
few words with Appius Claudius in
prison and thea^goes off. That is the
last that is seen of him in the play.
When the curtain fell on this perforin
an.e of “Virg nius” in this sma 1 place
Warde retired to his dressing room and
proceeded to become the Frederick
Warde of ever-day life. The manager
came in.
gone.” “Mr. Warde, the audience has not
,iar Well, ' I can't help that. The play is
done. There isn’t any more of it in the
book.”
“But they don’t go.”
“Turn down the footlights.”
“No use. They won’t stir. Won’t
you go and speak to them?”
“What! Go and tell them the play’s
over? funny Egad—I will. That will be a
Warde experience.” stepped
in front of the curtain;
there the audience sat quite still.
“Ladies and gentlemen: The play is
over. Virginia is dead; Dentatus is
dead: I am dead; Appius Claudius is
dead.”
Just then a voice sang out from the
gallery: “What did you do with that
other sun of a gun ?”—San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Lion a, a Forager. „
When a lion shakes his mane and roars,
those actions have a practical as well as
a dramatic significance. Like a skilful
orator, the lion not only uses the gestures
appropriate them with to the occasion, but he uses
a purpose. A traveler in
Africa gives, in “Days and Nights by the
Desert,” the following description of the
method and adopted horses. by lions in attacking
cattle
Lions, as a rule, hunt in family parties,
A vcr y °l d I* 08 not infrequently inca
pacitated from taking an active part in
pursuing tbe bead game, o£ is 1 generally to and be found
at S JC 1 a coterie, on h m
devolves no unimportant part of the pro¬
gramme. Down to leeward, hundred
a or more
P aces below wbere tha draught bullocks
are made fast when a train halts for rest,
the J oun g and active males and lionesses
Pl ace themselves behind what available
cover is to be found. This being done,
£be °^ d bon S oes 1° windward of thecn
campment and shakes out his abundant
ma “e in the breeze, so that the odor
from it may be carried down to the ex
ci ted draught animals.
One sniff of the tainted breeze brings
every ox to his feet in a moment, then,
standing, with often dilated trembling with fear, they
gaze eyes into the impene
trable darkness. Closer and closer ap
proaches the aged lion to his victims,
shaking and reshaking the dense, tawny
covering of his fore-quarters,
Then if the traveler’s harness be not
strong, he may look out fora stampede,
Bhould it hold temporarily, the aggres
sor, as a climax to his former manesuvre,
gGes utterance when the to his frightened deepest and beasts, loud
est roar, if
not secured by the stoutest fastening that
can be obtained, will break free, and
rush with inconceivale of their foes, rapidity secreted into lee¬ the
ward. very jaws to
Chinese Hare No NerTes.'
itv The North China Herald distinguishes says the qual- 4 the
of “nervelessness” °
cbinaman from the Eur0 ean . T he
day ; sta n d in ono v ° sit T all day ’, we a ^’
, 1 . , t
n0 more signs of weariness and irritation
than if he were a machine. This quality
ap p ears early in life. There are They no rest
less, naughty boys in. China. will are
in all school appallingly without good, aud recreations plod away
recesses or
of any kind. The Chinaman can do
without him exercise. much Sport labor. or play lie seem
to so waste can
sleep anywhere, amid rattling machinery,
deafening uproar, squalling children
and quarreling adults. He can sleep
on the chair, ground, in on position. the floor, It on would a bed, be
on a any China
easy to raise in an army of a mill
ion men—nay, of ten millions—tested
by competitive examination as to their
capacity to go to sleep across three wheel¬
barrows, head downward like a spider,
their mouths wide open and a fly inside.
The Hessian England. fly is making itself felt in
some parts of
THE SOHO OF THE SEA WINDS. ■
How it sings, sings, s:ng3,T
Blowing sharply from the sea line.
With an edge of salt that stings;
How it laughs aloud and passes.
As it cuts the close cliff grasses;
How it sings again and whistles
As it shakes the stoat sea thistles—
How it sings!
How it shrieks, shrieks, shrieks
In the crannies of the headland,
In the gashes of the creeks;
How it shrieks once more and catches
Up the yellow foam in patches;
How it whirls it out and over
To the cornfield and the clover—
How it shrieks!
How it roars, roars, roars
In the iron under-cavern3,
In the hollows of the shores;
How it roars anew and thunders,
As the strong hull splits and sunders;
And the spent ship, temptest driven,
On the reef lies rent and riven—
- How it roars!
How it wails, wails, wails
In the tangle of the wreckage,
In the flapping of the sails;
How it sobs away, subsiding,
Like a tired child, after chiding;
And across the ground swell-rolling
You can hear the bell-buoy tolling—
How it wails!
—Austin Dobson ,
PITH AND POINT.
In a pickle—A pig’s foot.
The mosquito is a hum-bug.
A password—Pepper, please.
Boston’s finest specimens of haughty
culture are its wallflowers.
“You stick to your colors,” said thq
lag to the pole on a rainy day.
Double-headed freaks are barred oul
Df single skull races .—Texas Siftings.
A poet talks of “Two Ways of Love. 1 *
One of them doubtless is the bridal-path.
— Life.
The Niagara River has not, as yet,
been harnessed. There seems to be s
hitch somewhere.
The baseball pitcher is an unscrupu-i
lous fellow—He gets the batter out by
fair means or foul.
It is the fellow running for stakes that
tries hard not to have a big time.—
Duluth Paragrapher.
of “I the may surf be about a slave, me,” but there's said the nothing Mir
Stream.— Harper's Bazar.
It is, alas, the life insurance agent
who says most heartily and enthusiast!,
cally to his customer: “I am delighted
to see you looking so well, sir.”— Life.
He’s greener than the grass that grows
Beneath the rains and dews.
The stay-late youth who courting goes
In squeaky shoes.
—Boston Courier.
The Collection. —Scrooge—* ‘I say, could
you lend me something to put in the
plate, Mr. Marley? “Oh, I’ve only got asover. ’ll do.’
eign!” Marley— a sovereign
— Punch.
O, all ye politicians
Who on office rest vour hopes,
Just interview the sheriff—
He's the man that “knows the ropes.”
— Judge.
Irate Father (to young Sinks)—“See
here, young man! didn’t I tell you Bink; nevet
to enter my gate again ?” clum Young th»
“Yes, sir; 1 didn’t. I over
fence.”— Judge.
The purplet has his pants in pairs,
The cat upon her fur just dotes,
The horse his collar always wears.
And doves are ever found in cotes.
—Boston Courier.
Mourning Garb in China.
White is, in a general way, the coloi
of mourning in China, sons, during th»
first three days, wearing the tunic wrong
side out, and on one side of the body
ODly. After that time they wear, like
other mourners, garments of unbleached
hempen day, when cloth, they except and their on the wives seventh
wear
sackcloth tunics, usually hired from a
shop where coffins are sold. The sons
do not shave their heads for 100 days,
ind they months, wear mourning which for time twenty
seven during and they
cannot marry. off Daughters daugh
ters-in-law put mourning at the end
of one year, when they and resume don their
golden head ornaments some
bit of red.
The burial of the encoffined body is
sometimes deferred for many years,
awaiting the death of a spouse, or the
favorable decision of a geomancer con¬
cerning the site for a tomb. As the
piosperity of every man’s descendants is
thought to depend upon his being laid
in a spot having such relationship undis¬ to
wind aud water as will afford him
turbed repose, the selection of a place of
interment is sometimes difficult, and
there are men who make their living by
searching The out being good prepared, places for friends graves.
grave are
informed of the burial, and they assem¬
ble at the appointed time to follow the
coffin to the hills. The coffin is covered
with a red palL Two lanterns are tied
together with a red cord, and arranged
io as to hang one on either side of the
coffin .—Popular Science Monthly.
Where Do Flics Go in Winter?
Some one has asked, “Where do flies
go in winter ?” This is a question of
some interest, for a house fly is born fully
grown and of mature size, and there are
no little flies of the same species, the
small ones occasionally observed being
different in kind from the larger ones.
The house fly does not bite or pierce the
skin, but gathers its food by a comb or
rake or brush-like tongue, with which
it is able to scrape the varnish from
covers of books, and thus it tickles the
skin of a person upon whom it alights tc
feed upon the perspiration. A ily is a
scavenger, and is a vehicle by which con¬
tagious diseases are spread. It poisons
wounds and may carry deadly virus from
decaying organic matter inU: food. It
retires from the sight at the beginning
of the winter, but where it goes few per¬
sons know. If a search of the house ba
made they will bo found in great num¬
bers secreted in warm places in the root
or botween the partitions or floors. Laic
winter we had occasion to examine a
roof, and found around the chimney
myriads of flies hibernating comfortably
and turbed sufficiently “in overpowering lively to clouds.” fly when dis¬ No
doubt this is a favorite winter resort for
[these creatures.— Boston Globe.