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ll THE LINCOLNTON NEWS VOLUME VII. NUMBER 26 . English landlordism has run its 'and has fallen into almost hopeless - decay. | The eleven dairy states contain more than one-half of the cattle in the United States, Ftom thirteen to forty-twb States in a Century isn’t a bad growth for a infant Republic . ; _ ■ Russia stands third in importance, so far as relates to its naval strength, among the European Powers. During the last year the sum total of educational gifts in this country was nearly five million dollars. There is no such a thing in this coun¬ try, asserts the Atlanta Constitution, as a postmistress. When a lady runs a jiost office she is a postmaster or nothing. A company at Brussels proposes to build a railroad from the head of navi¬ gation on the Congo to Stanley Pool, a distance of 7000 miles in the interior of Africa. i Yankee-mania (following the ways and customs of Americans) is, according to the New Y’ork Times, as much of a disease in England as anglo-mauia is in America. ______ | Royalty has its troubles. Twenty princes and princesses belonging to the reigning families of Lnroje have beeu under treatment for mental disorders during the past few years. Even Turkey moves. Half a century ago it was considered disgraceful for a Turkish woman to know how to read. Now, tbe Sultan himself has established two schools for girls in Constantinople. “ Interurban is a word coming into use in toe West as to railroad rates between cities. It is an odd piece of word¬ making, observes the Boston Transcript , but not so much so as “frivol” the verb descriptive of being frivolous, which the New Y’ork Herald is trying to force into use. A nailless horseshoe has been invented in England. The shoe is so adapted to toe foot that a driver can put one on in three minutes. It pinches the edge of toe hoof at certain points, and is held on in this way, no nails being driven into the hoof. The invention saves time ■fa shoeing and,avoids its perils. It is just as serviceable as the old-fashioned way. Stocks which the late James C. Flood, toe California miner-millionaire, in bonan a days sold for $900 per share are now kicking around at $5 and $8. The two mine? that paid $46,000,000 in dividends are now consolidated into one. ,Tbb stock has been as low as $2 per share, and now is only $8. For about two years it has paid a half-dollar dividend every month. The grand jury at Lockport, N. Y'., recently indicted James' Mayne. a farmer in the town of Hartland, for neglecting to remove and destroy diseased peech trees. This was the first indictment of the kind ever presented in the State, and the case, if tried, would test the validity of the law. The Commissioners ap¬ pointed by the law inspected Mayne’s trees and found them diseased with the yellows. When asked whether the Union Jacks and the ensigns of the Navy would have four new stars added in recognition of toe four new States of the Union, Captain Ramsay, Commandant of the Brooklyn Navy Ya'd, said: “The flags of the Navy will not be changed to re¬ present the four new States by star until the final ratification of the act of Congress is made. It is not likely that new flags will be made, but the four stars will be added to the Union Jack and the blue field of the ensign.” Whale’s milk.is the latest panacea for scrofulous diseases. It sells in the form of “whaloid,” a condensed form of toe article. So far London is the only place where it is obtainable. One of Queen Victoria’s ingenious subjects has a whale dairy, consisting of one animal, which he keeps in a tank browsing on seaweed. At milking time toe water is drawn off and the pretty aairy maid with her pail and stool ascends a platform and ap¬ propriates in the usual fashion the daily output of the cetaceous lacteal. The discovery suggests an illimitable field for courageous capital to make an investment —a field boundless as old ocean itself. Mrs. Nancy Clark Marshall Winkle Smith Frisbee McGregor Rawlins, a rich and somewhat masculine woman, who owns valuable cattle and timber lands in Montana and Oregon, has lately reached toe extreme Scriptural limit of mayrying chronicled of her sex, by tak inn unto herself her seventh husband. She went to San Francisco, over tbe plains, in 1849, and toe uncertainties of border life have enabled her to gratify her taste for marital change without re¬ sort to divorce. Every one of her hus¬ bands was dead before another took his place. One wa3 lost in a mountain snow-storm, another was killed by Indi ans, and a bucking-horse assisted an¬ other out of toe world. Husband No. T is twenty-eight years old. He was raised by the much- widowed woman, and calls her “Mamma." DEVOTED TO THE INTEREST OF* LINCOLN COUNTY. YESTERDAY. Yesterday It dead 21 Re? at rest, —■< No breathing stirs The white-robed breast; The groans and sobbing Are hushed at last, ! Thanks be to Heaven) Such pains are past. Book dot to rouSe Its Unquiet ghost; Conjure no phantom Of what is lost; Come away softly, And make no moan, Leaving thy perished hope Dead and alone. —Zoe Dana Underhill, in Scribner. BETWEEN TWO HOBNS BVSARAH ?. PlUTCBARDi ‘I tell you, Sussan Swing,” said Cap tain Rose, ‘there ain’t a man that lives between the Two Horns as would let his boy not bigger than your n go out m a boat to-day. Don t you do it. Tain’t no kina of weather for that slip of a lad to go foolin with them big billows as sweeps around old Dull Head. Why, look yourself, woman. You can see them more'n four miles away dashing and lashing the shore. As Captain Rose spoke he pointed with his right hand in the direction of one of the two headlands between which Dell Haven lay. “And no dory in the harbor” he con W he t attht (pointing toward the headland row-locks out and hide toe oars if he won’t mind without you doin’ it. ” ' I can t bear to do it,” said Mrs. pointed Swmg. He Richard will be so disap set his iobster pots yester his day, and he hasn’t slept any all night in them. eagerness Don’t to go out early and haul Saturdpy and you see, whole Captain coaches Rose,it’s two full of summer boarders came iast mghtto the Bright big Head House and he can get a price for his lobsters to-day. My poor Dick has worked so hard making toe lobster pote himself, and it seems like cutting off the boy s reward to say you shant t go to him. • S pose you do feel weakish bout it, Susan; but you don’t want that ere boat to be picked up adrift and no boy in it, do ye?” “You know I don’t, Captain Rose,” she said. “If I hadn’t loved him do you think I’d get up before daylight to see the lad off :” “Hush,” said the Captain. “Here he comes, and he’s fastening his straw hat to his buttons. He sees there is wind enough ahead.” It was a morning in June, ana the sun was not yet risen, but the glory of his coming was m the east and on the sea. As he came d own the pier, toe oars on his shoulder, and securing his straw hat by a atnng to his jacket, the old Captain said: “He’s a fine lad, Dick is, and well worth the saving.” “Good morning, Captain Ross,” called out Rmhard. “Good for lobsters, do you think?” “Better for lobsters than ’tis for boys,» ejaculated the Captain removing his broad brown hands from his pocket and laying one the of them on the lad’s shoulder as soon as latter came within touch ing distance. “I say, Dick Swing, that you are not going out in that cockle shell ef your’n this morning,” he announced. “I certainly am, Captain Rose,” re turned toe boy. “Its a little rough, but like as not the wind will come right around before I get half way to the kage f and I should think you would know better than to scare my little * lot of extra courage about me that I can’t exactly show you unless you come with me.” This he said looking out to sea, for he 4id not feel like looking either at his mother or Captain Rose. “Dick,” said Mrs Swing, approaching toe pier’s edge as the owner of the little boat proceeded to bestow his lunch basket and extras under the bow. “Well, mother,” returned Richard, looking “I wish up. would you not go,” she said, ber tones full of beseeching. “Why, mother? Do you want my seven new lobster pots to be carried off to sea?” he asked. “How could you have the heart to ask me? If this wind keejos -” on blowing I ahall lose them every one “That’s true,” ejaculated Captain Rose. “I never thought of that. It’s just right, this wind is, to drag them off, hut you never c&n haul them in alone. You’ll ,be sure to be dragged over board.” “No, I shan’t. Come along with me if you want to help,” laughed Richard. before “Humph! I should sink that craft Captain; we “though got out of harbor,” said toe if I wasn’t so heavy I would go.’’ Captain Rose weighed trifle less than three hundred pounds, and had left toe sea after fifty years of faithful service. Not another person was in sight. “I’ll tell you what I’ll do,” said the Captain. “If you insist on going, I’ll stop on my way up and ask Captain Danforth to look out for you, and if he thinks you’re getting into trouble to sail after you.” “Thank you, Captain.” “Dick," said his mother, “can’t you let the lobster pots go?” “Couldn’t possibly,” smiled the boy. “Could you have the heart to ask Will you cast meoff?” he called a lator. “Wait a minute,” exclaimed Mrs. topmost and leaned layer of logs though forming the wharf, over as to speak fidentially to said her his son. mother, “Dick,” “hold Tm coming,” and into the boat dropped toe before Captain either Richard Captain in the Rose dock or had knowledge of her intention. “What under the sun, mother,” thebqy, “I’m going “doyou with mean?” Dick, you, to you from falling overboard when i haul in,” and shp back seated herself in I toe stern, calling “We depend as the tide boat out, on you, tain Rose, to send after us if we—if UNCOLNION, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, MAY 3, 1889. gets too rough,” she gasped, with s dash of spray in her face. ly knew why. Of all the womeB in Dell Haven, from the eldest to the youngest, Mrs. Swing most feared the sea. fo live beside.it, to watch its every mood delighted her, r° li Ure ou Y f3r P leasare 8he !L VGr kD ,? Wn t t0 do ', whl“ss, a ’srj-; .s;:™ v ” w concealed as much as possible her iety for him. had Richard was not selfish, and he imagined what his mother was at that It' Just as the boat got well into the toil of the waves the sun arose, shedding suc h briilance on the waters that Mrs Sw jng. who s.,at facing it, was dazzled and well nigh failed tosee in time a gill ne t into which the boat was running. “See any boat ahead, mother?’’ ques tioned Richard. “You must keep a good look out for me. I’ve got my grounds ranges right and can fetch the lobster every time.” <<j g j t f ar p> questioned his mother shudderingly. “Not very; just outside Dull Head. I reckon we’ll fetch it,” dipping his oars for a f uU stroke and then letting the boat slide to the summit of a wave, a trick he had caught from Captain ^DeU HaS^ 11 ’ ™%£* Evln RteMTnced‘sidS ilbfonceafea Anxiety more than once with a s the long billows came tumbling on, and just then getting a glimpse blanched of his mother’s face beheld it so with terror of the sea that it seemed to him his mother was no longer S in toe boat with him “Dick,” she gasped as his oar missed stroke and sent the spray over toe boat, “Dick, I’m afraid to go on. ” ]) ic k glanced backward. He had pu i, ed about a mile from shore and was midway between the two headlands familiarly Head surrounded spoken of as the horns. Dull was by an even accumu lating mass of breakers, onlts and Bright Head caught the see precipitous sides, sending foams'and it backward in fountains of "1 ivo the four miles that lav 1 hp tween the t points were rolling mUes of Sitrin/with billow ■ n/t his face danprr landward Richard had fuUv felt the Now toe lad could not repress a shud der as he said: “I don’t beReve I could find the buoys in such a sea, and nobody could haul the pots. I believe I’ll put about.” “Oh, do! O Richard, there comes an aw ini one!” and Mrs. Swing slipped down from her seat into the bottom of the boat and hid her face from the on coming wave Richard gave a mighty pull at the oars to keep the boat head on, and it TO de that ware in safety only to meet new ones, into whose depths the tiny sheil rolled to he completely hidden from the sight of two men who were standing out on the Dell Haven pier. One was Hezekiah D^forth, the other was “If Captain Rose. * sight help them,” there was only Captfin a tug in Rose° to “Why didn’t groaned vou dun a little common sense into the woman if she didn’t take any naturally,” scolded Captain Iian forth, “or shut her and the boy up so me where?.” “I told her, but I declare when I was young I could have brought down them oars in half the time it takes Jim to going on. There’s nothing else to do. I never in all my life saw a time when there wasn't a sail in sight * * * The boat’s gone! No! There it comes up Suddenly again!” a cry for a helping hand was raised among the bystanders, and will ing hearts went forth from the land. “Every second tells. It’s a a race for life?” called out Captain Danforth. “Jim, you’d better get in. You’re strong ; if one of us tuckers out you can take hold." All ready lay the boat, a dark green surf boat, a boat that could stand heavy seas, and the two men and boy who had nobly volunteered were not long in start ing off. “Success to you. Fetch ’em back alive?” called out Captain Rose. All at once the pier at Dell seeemed had thronged spread that with Mrs. people. Swing | news Richard were out alone on toe sea. As they watched the dim, dark now rising upon the swelling waters as quickly vanishing from sight, not of the little throng but knew ‘he of the tiny boat. With breathless ness they watched the surf boat as two rowers stood at the oar urging onward. “It’s down the harbor now. : catching think it. It’s an awful wind for Do you they’re gaining on ’em That mite of a boat will never live they heard get they there,” were some of remarks As for as passed Rose on. j Captain he went up the hill into the town, climbed the belfry of Dell Haven church, as up as he could th! go, and watched a spy-glass distance progress of the speck helpers in the far behind. and toe so After a few minutes he realized , utmost, Captain Danforth, although th! doing could not reach periled i„ time to save them and he said to self: 1 “See here, Dolly, ” he said, “can I look through here aud keep sharp No, you run-you can go quicker’n can,” and the Captain scribbled a sage on the back of an evelope. and ; ing it her bade her make haste to telegraph office. “Y'ou tell Blake It’s to save a life and it must K ahead of everything.” did need Dolly Rose not to toe be told twice. She ran every step of way, and flushed rushing and into cried toe out: telegraph “Mr. eager here, send this Blake, Richard Swing and his mother are I to drown, and it’s to save theml" The operator took the old envelope and read; search.of small fis-asg? boat—woman and Lory £& m 6£E Dell can’t Haven last three lcirg miles; going Jouv against Rotas. the ' wind; - .. A11 ri jf ght 4 „ gaid the operator, click!*, at is achine for a minute done. or two^ and then exclaiming: “It’s Wait a tuiuute, sis, k and I’ll tell you whether or k h T:?Siu %£* - **•—"«>■• M .„tb 7 . T..h„ P «. a -W’ “Steam up; start at once; go my self. “Tmotbt True.” The “ e operator did “jaiiox not stay swy to w write wriieix. it. _ ' Tr ” , ' g °”* lr “ ay ’” h ‘‘“ M 8 f v ed ,,, The £i£ y 11 'jh'ld&otpohe u-m ' stal . ald */Rer word. She ,E ®° “ a could only , smile and bow her head and ‘7'°,^ ° ut tha mess ^ e ’ vhkh she dld a ‘,‘. • Laptam Rose eye was on the , speck. , s “? ?*,' d d 1 ? red a ?5 ln , not Meanwhile, ta ^ e R off J® the 5 " news never got ‘ abroad j that Captain Lose had tele graphed to Cornwall for a tug, and the °, f .® ar '®. r ‘ *nthe little boat and . . had , . again again V 10 tried to turn its head toward the , land, j but with each tnal it took in 8< ? much " at ®j: th8t he ^ forc ^ }° give up the attempt. offaud -N . othing the could be done but keep face boiling ™a S^ing topt^brillng & as fastas possible,' b ! ‘• "* At length came a wave like a small hil ’’ “P wh j® h boat ^ od ® and th en suddenly -ichard , shouted: They re coming for us, mother. I seea boatjust outside the harbor Then tbe t * ars s P ran ?.. to Mr 9 - Swin 8 8 eyes l b , S e sto PP ed ' balb ? g f . or a ment to . look towards toe shore. , AH 8 S® 8ee was a wal1 of water sbnt ' Rag out the land. . 4 “Courage, mother ” Dick said. tver y nse a ° d fe “? f the oar was a P. 1 ^ ^ery dip of the poor old crab shell was a petition for life. u ^ om ^. e ^ S8ven mdes .. to , the eastward, and hidden from al ffht by Bright Head, steamed the tug ° ood ^ ever h ad lts Ca P tel “ stood f watching the sea with . more earnest S aze - ^ ever w as steam applied with more generous hand. ’Twas the woman and the boy m toe boat out at sea that lived in the gaze, in the steam and in the fue l. and Good Heart bore away with cordial speed till Bright Head was won and weathered. * s f shouted the Captain, “though how it’s lived to get there’s more n * kQ0W » an ^ 516 S ave directions to steam Aitsida Richard’sattentionwassodiridedbe- ...... , tween the billows and the land and the fnendl >' b oat . »cd Airs. Swing was so in tent 011 Bailing, , that neither them, of them and saw the tug until it was upon a hailing voice toouteft . ;! Hold °“ tll !^ e P lck J ou U P' It seemed as if a voice from heaven had . . ?P oken ; hven bl “ S °' d C ?P tam R ° s ? u / 1 ,^ be beRr lf 5, ° f th ? church ejaculated, “Thank God!” as he saw the tug come to ' /‘/ e sbock . . ° f . the cal1 ; the sight of the black v throbbing tug, friendly as they seemed, yet came near swamping the boat - f ° r Rl ® hard letitturnand the last stren S th he had was P ut £° rth J? bold ' mg it up to the wind until a line was cast off, and even then he had no power to make it fast. It was Mrs. Swing who £5ed to obey the command* that came hut eould not. i ma'ly the tug’s boat was lowered. _ It oJfice - R’fhard and his motherhad , b eeu saved. “Give’em a signal! Give ’em three!” and the steam whistle blew three shrieks ? hat went over the bay and up the har b ° ra ? d °I®r, a = al / st * h ?// etiDg kouse ®n his knees to uttei the n S' first prayer of thankfulness his little Dolly had ever beard ber fatner offer.—iTew York hra P nK - ^ ‘ e ' ork __. Longacre. .______ A correspondent wants to know why the vicinity of Broadway, from Fortieth to Fiftieth street, is called “Longacre.” The reason is because there area great many carriage makers there. Some of the largest carriage manufactories locality,either in toe world have chosen that for stores or factories. The name comes , from London, where there is a locality known as “Longacre,” which is noted as the centre of the Y'ork carriage trade, and naturally the New locality got toe same name in the same way that a good many other London names have got settled in New York. There is one dif ference, however. In the London Long i acre the streets are rather narrow, while 1 in the New Y'ork Longacre toe street* are wide. At the junction of Broadway, Seventh avenue,and Forty-second street, the street becomes very wide. The carriage makers settled there when the j The land was origin not of so the valuable term “Longacre” as it is now. in London goes back to antiquity .—New York Sun. The “Glare” of Onr White Skins. Notomg XT ... is . more „ ro common than for . ! ^ RUropeens to individualizing complain of the difficulty they have in the of the men white Of dark races ho to eye man se /“ al n ln ? ore or le9S al * e - Tbe “»twes of Ind,a . bave •PP weBt, J tbe same dlft ; I tbe .. Lancashire with whRe Regiment men Some stationed men of at Benares recently broke loose and raided re g iln ent wits paraded, and the villagers ! , S? ro as / d t ” V om } tbe g ul lty men. The >' ab soI , u tely failed to do so in a 8ln S le caso > whereupon a nntire paper, j comme ? doubt ’ ltl of ”g it. ° n , t / no < i //Ik of the 4 most ’ sayS difficult j-/ A< ?l feats under tbe sun 18 identify Euro ? >ea, ’ s they areiso much ahkowi to their lo «d, giarmg white color. We wonder whether them friends and rdaUons are iit a oss 83 to w l ° 8 wbo ‘ London Globe. Jerusalem is fast becoming toe city of the Jews. In 1880 there were not more than 5000 Jews there; ( now there we more than 80,OOP. i BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOCRCE& One In a Thousand—Bad Enough ts He Was— Helping the Hun¬ gry- Keith Tired—His Inheritaiici 1 - Etc. .. „ h „ „ ^JSMSanSr-* , , ... _ But Her still, feet alJlWMmcke^?T^bt,’ demanded-“More.' n. PUS 1 ' Would flounce away in ire. Not she! Anmte broke from her eye*, 8'“<^r w „v 7 A^ t “^li Te ^ ’ g ’ —Burlington Free Press. — Bad Enough as He Was. “Hooray!” cried Cadley, “I feel like anew man.” “Oh, please don’t,” retorted Bromley. “Don’t be any newer than usual, Cadley. You are too fresh, naturally."— Bazar, - Helping the Hungry. .. Iwish I Thf JZa Ton would ^ 1anV- help me a little ” said the teamp ‘ T haven t eaten any “H’m!” returned old Grinder; “I’m -d tie it around you tightly, you won’t feel 80 6mpty ' Both Tired. hef* Sr, !, DmS „ t d cimins^reu^i^h'thU mi hired g aroUnd nirll Wlth “rook this D rii ire red “ Girl Girl iwrathfnlli (wratofullyj— i “Well Well, I I’m m tS^ouTo ? C—“WelL^vou iffiim” ^ W ° B Lt mav tell vour boss that that this tffis^smylastcall. is mv calL ” g. G. Voux^lasti J) ^ ’ Heaven’” _ His inheritance ; i , T r „ n i, 2 llnr ; Br 1 .t„ n a EnM r ■> t.M hi father, . why you toouid 6 quarrel so much with Tommy White. Your mother tells me you quarrel with him most of the time. thoughtfully. “I can’t help “I it, pa,” 1 replied Bobby, guess must get my disposition from you and ma. "-Bazar. The Intelligent Juror. “How do vou vote, Si, guilty or not guilty?” “Guilty.” “Oh, now, see here. It’s a plain case of not guilty. What makes you think him guilty?” “What makes me think him guiity! Wal, I’ll tell ye. If the man ain’t guilty, bow’d he come to git arrested?”— Mun -.ey's Weekly. A Good Feature. sg^he^lay mo^el sculptor’s studio ^ Kn of the itin" buat of her husband change dfsire any par b TO uinav lookfd ’’hesaid /n widow o°e at it with tearful "e e “ u is large “|n ' la n e is a B of ^oodnes= ” | = !aid the artist T he V widow wined away her tears iff and 5ohbe “WelLtoenmake little ar = er ' Pat His Foot wj in His Mouth. Mr* Robinson entertainine some -” a - ue salQ ' ,71/ hanaea rouna, may T i nave som ,® u , e ’ pleas °' ” ..twg fnnnt? funny, _ coinme ?J e ^ Bobby. Rohhv x v ^ ° f London - A Woman's Reasoning. “No, Mr. Sampson,” she says sweetly, “I can never be your wife. We would not be happy. Y'ou are too extravagant in your habits.” Extravagant!” misinformed, he repeated. “You have been Miss Lulu. I am as economical as a Brooklyn deacon, Why, I have to be.” “Then lean never be your wife, Mr. Sampson.” economical?” “Because I’m “No, because you have to be econ omical 1” In a Safe Place. Business Man (to new confidentia clerkl—“Here, Waggerly, careful is that toe combination. Be very don’t lose it” “Yes sir.” Business Man (next morning) haven’t you opened the safe yet?” “No, sir, I couldn’t.” “You haven’t lost that slip, I “No, niiht sir; but I put it inside toe loot last night. n -Boston Beacon. « Mrs. Malaprop's Latest. Mrs. Malaprop has come to town usual work with this the season same and disregard ’ 8 ^“ing in S ® as always characterizes her circes are now laughing with over of a Mrs lingual M.’s who originating quite well-known. one One is herdaughters, a beautiful girl, has sitting to a sculptor, and some one the lady what was daughter being done having she replied, of my her hand. is bust made Critic. Entitled to Ride Free. Saturday a poorly-dressed, boarded appearing man a When Cottage Grove avenue car. conductor asked for his fare the man [died that he was out of change, but lie guessed he could ride to street. , “No, you can t unless you have t money to pay for it, ’the conductor swered. “Well, now I jest kin. I see that sign there afore I got on this car, savin’: Sixty-third street without Chicago Maid. ___ cintillatlons From the Sanctum, •‘The product of to® consumption cotton plant era largely into the of ieqple in ’one way and another, Snbscrlptioa: $115 in Adnm marked toe casual caller, as he put a few choice replied exchanges in editor hia pocket he “Yea/* toe the snake as put ® em orandum of a bright idea on bis scratch pad. “Now, besides the textile uses of cotton, we have cottonseed oil 1 used in the manufacture of lard.” “Yes,” assented the snake editor im¬ patiently. “And I suppose,” added the caller, “that judiciously passing will be out drinking of the eotton-gitt,”— door, soon l‘M»hurg we Chronicle- Tele¬ graph. businessman, sunsSTSSTS I The .%.«. stars tell ; see. me that you expect to add to your fortunes ‘ Portly. Your thoughts are entirely on money. Am I not right, sir? you will receive. There will be no trouble about it; no delays of any kind. 0ae dol]ar p ; eage . Always come to me I when you want advice. Everything touch turns to gold.” I did here “You mistake. not come to have my fortune told. I am the pro prietor of the grocery store around the , corner, and I would like you to pay this bill, three weeks overdue.” I “Ahem! Please call again.”— PhUa ddpia Record. - Gave Himself Away. “How did I get this black eye?” re Plated the drummer, as he buckled the “Rraps ^ to his satchel. “Well, I tried to ^ g Id and in a chap^^ The ticket ’pulled his guu, Shoved it into the and got his ticket ten seconds It was a hint for me.” "And you accepted it?” “I did. I shoved my revolver into tbe w tndow and gave the ticket man a Quaner o{ a minute to »et me a paste board.” “And he jumped ?” “He did-jumped J P out of his office and broke m e m t wo over a baggage track He , s gQt my revolver , et .„ ‘ But how did it happen to work in one case and fail in another:” “Oh, I couldn’t keep my voice from trembling, and then I didn’t have long hair and a buJalo overcoat. He got right j* onto me f or a Hkc."-Detroit Free Talking Shop. Scene—The Composing Room of an Agricultural Foreman—“Jim, Paper. what doing?” are you Jim—“Settingup” Farm.'” ‘A Y’oungMan on a Stock Foreman-“When Pigs'on you get through the inside, with that, put‘A Few and ‘An Efficient Lightning Rod’ at top of the first column.” Jim— “What must I do with the ‘Spanish Foreman—“Distribute Itch' and 'Texas them Fever?’ and ” then try and get in this ‘Sure Cure for Hog Cholera.' Let Sam set up‘A Good Cow Shed’ and ‘A Pleasant Summer Drink,’ and give Joe ‘The Hollow Horn.’ If he wants more let him have ‘Home Made Cheese’ and “Gherkin Pickles.’ ^hat did you do with that Money in £ aHy Broilers F” Jim-“It's locked up. So is ‘Consti P a ted Colt.’ The devil made a lot o’ pi out of ‘Elegant Corn Bread’ and ‘Nice Tomato Sauce’ and is now going for a ‘Good Farm Dinner.’ ” Foreman-“Where is that‘Fine Young Holstein Bull For Sale?’ I can’t find it” ,!im-“Reckou not. It’s dead two weeks ago, and taken out” Foreman—“Can you get Jones and Smith's big Jack in this week?” Foreman—“What did you do with that . Mammoth yellow Yam?”’ Jim-“Thar had Bustle.’” to give place to ‘A Home-made Wire ! Foreman (petulantly) P — “Shoot the bustle’ We a in't runnin’ a fuhion paper 1 p .”—^Southern Live Stock Journal. No More Speculation for Him. “Y'aas, there’s money made in stocks, no doubt,” said the old man as he re¬ moved his hat and ran his fingers through his gray locks, “but it’s a risky biziness; it’s suthin' like bettin’ on where light ning's going to strike, with the odds of hiring the tree you stand under.” “Then you never speculate the ?” “Never. I dig with along another, on and old farm, pull taking old one crop when I’ve nothing else to ing stumps if don’t make shakes do; and I any great I haven't anything to worry over. I had a purty solemn warning cured during of toe specula- coal ile excitement and it me tion.” “How was that: “Waal, I was a widower then; wife down the well and was drawn out as st *ff as a P°Ler. I had a big far.m, lots stock and f« caded P ur ‘L s ?. lld ', We a11 got excited about ile and all of us dug more or less ho.es in search of the stulf - A11 of a sudden a 'widder living about two miles from me found lie in a dozen p!aces on her farm. She was a widder with a bad nose, freckles all over her face, eyes on a squint and built up like a camel. But when she struck ile ^ ^ & different thing . I guess some s j x or seveu 0 f us began g courting that , widow within sixteen ours 0 f the sight | of th>t ile j know the procession h d { the F gate to the house.” i t didn’t, and that’s what - : ; ^nff ^ j j Somehow or other I w( >rk U p to the pint. That k j n der stood in the way every time ^ wag read y t o put the question. She acted like she wanted me, but Deacon ^hifeh.'^ °* ^ ^ m ,, Ancl thell w hat!” u Xothing , except she had dosed that - arm wbb 3 barrel of lie and thus got a Jiusban d for herself and a home for her fjve cb i]d r en. When the news came out j wa8 s0 co ld along the backbone that they had to kiver me up with a hoss blanket, and since that time I haven’t ^ ad ^ be nerve t 0 bu y eggs a t seven cents a ddzen and hold ’em for a rise.” A peculiarity of the Chinese tea growers and dealers is that they make no progress in tea culture or in prepar ing the leaf for market. A slight-of-hand ffWtor .—Burlington performance—Re- Free Press. jeering SPRING FANCIES. \ r J j. the rotrsa xav. Ik the spring the youth his person in tbe 1st est fashions decks, And begins to east ad miring glan ces on toe other sex; In the spring a nameless yearning, something that he cannot trace, Comes upon him when he meets a with a pretty face; And the fluttering of a ribbon, or the per fume of a glove, # j Thrills his pulses, and his “fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” *• a n. thi tothto won aw. . maiden doffs th. -«»■ than before, Then she puts on light garments, snowy laces, ribbons gay, And a gorgeous hat the climax cap. of her new spring array, All the secrets of the toilet uses with a woman's .kill, For her heart, too, is responsive to the sea son's magic thrill in. both. Boon some strange mysterious proce** brings together youth and maid; , There are meetings in the moonlight, (here are whisperings in the shade, Wanderings delate. in secluded place* often HU the Ixivingglanc® sweet confessions, stolen life m ^ m . s cap . Wde’s surrender, explanation, and deboon. ma kings up. * When the tender grass is springing and the opening buds appear, When the birds are gayly singing, and the skies are blue and clear, rhus its course in spring love runneth, cul¬ minating in the May, With parental blessings and the naming of the wedding day. Courier. —Boston PITH AND POINT. Round about riding pleasure—Equestrian academy ring. ex¬ ercise in toe In New Y'ork a sign of wealth is a dia¬ mond pin. In Philadelphia it is a ter¬ rapin. exclaim when What most husbands the dressmaker’s bill is presented— “Ahem!” The only gems that are .—Binghamton a drug in the market—Gems of thought Republican. Bjones—“There's not much encourage¬ ment to be good in this world. ” Merritt —“We never thiuk so until we • are caught doing bad .”—New York Sun. - Sophronia keeps out of the kitchen And says, with a withering husband look, She could never endure her To aver that be married a cook. —GoodalCs Sun. Would-be Patron—“What is the legs! fare for ten blocks?” Cabman—“Dunne. If yon want ter know Philadelphia'’Re¬ anything ’bbnt law go ter a lawyer.”— cord. Never a woman with a secret entrust, - * . She sureiy will tell, or else sfce would bust, But one secret she'll ke?p; this truth roc may mysterious gauge— secret of her exact The own age ■ The locomotive is no coward, bjit it will run at a minute’s notice, it will back out of a tight place in a hurry, and it takes water whenever it gets the chance.— Washington Critic. “I see Brown’s store is closed now by an injunction,” said Mrs. ’ll Spriggia* they have “What new-fangled father’s thing boy good next. In time a was enough to close a store.”— Bazar. A young divine tells a story of a groom who, after toe marriage ceremony, slipped a two-dollar-bill into his hand, murmuring, apologetically, Harper’s Magazine. “I’ll do better next time.”— Woman has got two sets of eye* ’tis said. With one set she will look right straight ahead, will strictly And with the other set con Just what a passing woman has got on. —GoodalVs Sun ■ Mia. Ketchon—“Did you knock at the door when you came to-night, George?" Mr. Tumblety— “Yes, (shyly) Amy. Why do you ask?” Miss Ketcbon _“I thought perhaps you had come with a ring .”—New York Sun. Relics of Chicago’s Great Fire. hanging “Do you see there?” that asked old photograph in up a man Clayton’s place. “Well,” he continued, “that is the old court house—toe ruins of it after the great fire of 1871, I mean. Up in that shattered tower hung toe flames big bell. Of course, it fell when the destroyed its supports. J . don’t know whether Harry Everhart caught the it ground or not as it fell, but he was soon on and secured the debris. Before the fire was out he had purchased the remains of the bell and had arranged to have toe bell metal modeled into small bells, as ‘relics of the fire.’ Every one around town soon wore upon his watch chain a tinkling reminder of the big disaster. sold At first these miniature beLs fox $1.50 each, and every one was accom¬ panied by a certificate attesting its genu¬ ineness. The depot for these little bells was in an old dwelling in the brick mock at the northeast corner of Wabash avenue and .arman street. I would not say that Harry ‘watered his stock’ exactly, but he sold thousands of small more, in fact, than it would seem could be molded from toe big court h^uso bell. Pretty soon, as the novelty wore off, the price went down, and finally you could buy a small court house bell relic for a quarter .”—Chicago Herald. Why the Teeth Chatter. It is toe through that toe skin, receive and only through skin, The we chattering sensa¬ of tions of temperature. the teeth from the feeling of cola is caused by what is termed reflex action of the muscles of the jaw. When an impression is made on the sensitive surface of the skin it is conveyed, by an excitor nerve to the spinal cold, and is there reflected back on the musclfs^xy a corresponding motor nerve, toe- action being involuntary, like that of anv«toer mechanism. Chattering sneesing^riiatoe’s of the'tBlth, as well as shivering and toe cir cql atinqj-.orTihe effort to restore blood which has accumulate® in the ilarger near toe heart.