Newspaper Page Text
i-3 hMH HH LINCOLNTON NEWS
VOLUME VII. NUMBER 30.
Southern Brazil ig rapidly filling up
with emigrants from Europe.
Suicide is becoming a prevailing and
an alarming vice in this country.
A census is a great thing, and we could
not get along without it. Every year
its scope increases. In England the
• census takes in everything, even down
to cats.
.
The New York Independent announces
that in England they no longer express*
incredulity by the phrase: “Go tell it to
the marines;” but by saying: “Go tell
it to the London Times.”
Says the New Orleans Times-Democrat:
“There is in truth a seed of anarchy in
this ugly epidemic of White Capism, and
it must not only be stamped out vigor¬
ously and effectually, but its resur¬
rection at any future time must be made,
impossible.”
The New York Herald wants to see
* this nation a still more solid union than
it ever was before, because the Anglo
Saxon race 200 years hence will have to
face a great problem—for it will have
on its hands a fight for the supremacy
between the Caucasian and the Mon¬
golian races.
Florence Kelley Wisclioewetzky, m
the Union Signal, says concerning child
laborT "For every child employed there
is an adult supplanted so that we have a
million wage-earning children and a
million adults unemployed; aud this
mad reversal of all social order is solely
for the purpose of enriching the exploit¬
ing minority.”
Bishop Theodore B. Lyman, of North
Carolina, has discovered a new and
hitherto unsuspected virtue in the pea¬
nut. For nearly two years he had suf¬
fered from insomnia. About a fort¬
night ago he ate freely of fresh roasted
peanuts before retiring, and enjoyed the
best sleep he had had for months. He
tried the experiment repeatedly since, aud
has found it efficacious every time.
A new use has been discovered for the
poppy. It forms a network of roots
that cannot be exterminated without
great difficulty, and it is therefore ad¬
mirable for keeping embankments in
place. Within the last two or three
years eminent French engineers have
undertaken the sowing of railway em¬
bankments with poppies, with a view to
prevent their being destroyed by heavy
rains.
“The latest gigantic conspiracy to
corner a necessary article of food,” says
the New Y'ork News, “is that of the salt
trust. The collapse of the copper syn¬
dicate seems to have had no effect upon
the pro ectors of tha salt trust. It is
stated that the ring in process of
formation for the purpose of controling
the supply of salt, will be able to coni
maud a capital of $25,000,000.” We
consume now about 1,300,000 barrels of
salt annually in the United States, one
third of which is imported. Another
third is furnished by the salt jvorks of
Michigan, a sixth by New Y'ork and the
other sixth by ten other States, YVest
Virginia heading the list.
The mortifying news has been sent tc
the New Y'ork Sun from Springfield, Ill.,
that the “Lincoln monument was so badly
built that it is already in a ru’nous con¬
dition, and must soon collapse altogether
unless strengthened at a large cost. The
swindling builder is a peculiarly
wretched type of swindler in any branch
of his frauds, but when he practices IFs
art on such a national monument as that
which covers Lincoln’s dust and cele¬
brates his fame, the fraud is aggravated
into sacrilege. What a commentary it
is on the vile depths of human nature
that Lincoln’s bones must be buried in
secret and guarded for years by a group
of true friends lest they be stolen by
grave-robbers, and that when they are
finally deposited under a national monu¬
ment their rest is still threatened by an
avarice that cheats even when building
a tomb
The practical advantage to one who
has learned a trade was exemplified the
other day m the person of Patrick
Gleason, Mayor of Long Island City,
N. Y. The appropriation for the main¬
tenance of the water department having
run short, a number of the men have
been unpaid for some time. The other
day they simply said that, if they didn't
get their money, they would shut down
the waterworks. Mayor ‘-leason. who
has attained fame of late by his attack
upon the fences and other obstruction!
of the Long Island Railroad, which he
leveled single-handed with an ax, said
that he didn’t propose that Long Island
City should be left without its water
supply. He couldn’t force the city
officia’s to appropriate the money, but
he hitched up his trotters, drove to the
waterworks, and told the men on duty
that if they wanted to leave they could
leave, he ould run the engine hijnself
with the ass stance of one or two of his
friends. As he is an old engineer, says
Fire a id Water, they all knew he could
do what he said. Consequently, there
was no strike, Long Island City was not
deprived of its water supply, and since
then, we understand, the salaries have
been paid up
DEVOTED TO THE INTEREST OF LINCOLN COUNTY.
HOPE'S SONG.
** And will it be,” said Hope to me,
“ That oyer the snow he’ll come,
And the beckoning light of your window
bright
Will guide him, weary, home?
Or will it be,” said Hope to me,
On a summer’s eventide,
When the tender glow of the sunset’s low,
You shall walk side by side?
- Or will it be,” said Hope to
- When the me,
sky is dull and gray
And thou downcast, be will come at last
And brighten all the day?
- Or will it be,” said Hope
to me,
u Y ou may put pictures by,
my
Save one the best and the faithfule3i
To look at when you die:
“ Of a gleaming sea,” said Hope
to me,
“ And a fair shore calm and
Where sweet,
hearts I wis like thine and his
Have never failed to meet.”
—Elsie Kendall, in Scribner.
The Gray .Ghost of Gilsum.
” «™> »““■
“Madam, do you believe in ghosts?”
“In ghosts! :> echoed her ladyship. “Do
we live in tne nineteenth century for
nothing, that you should ask me such a
«® >« iotbtag ,. it . * ilin Z
threadbare, ghosts.” let U3 hope, as a belief in
De “Nevertheless,” Wolf, continued Chauacev
looking leaning against the mantel and
embers gravely down at the smoldering
of the fire, “I am prepared to
affirm that if any man ever saw a »host
I am that man.” ° ’
will /‘You, expect of all to persons! Perhaps you
us believe next that it was
your interview with a ghost which
turn d your hair white before you
reached the thirties.”
“Exactly “Then that, madam.”
you have a great S deal to thank tnank
him for.”
“Oh I have move th„„ * vt. v.
him for,” replied De Wolf, smiling.
“Shall I tell you the story?”
“Oh, yes, do tell it by all means ’’and
madam folded her white hands and
lifted her pretty, incredulous collet face toward S
her guest. He was an old
and had come to spend the Christmas bounty
holidays home with us inour pretty
on the Hudson. As he stood in
front of the fire, his shrewd, kindly face
telling its own story of a successful
career, he was, perhaos, the last per-ou
one would have supposed guilty of such
anachronism *
an as a belief in ghosts
A Roman nose is nature’s bet on a
man’s success, and De Wolf had all the I
benefit of the bet. His clearly cut feat
ures and fine, dark eyes were rendered
the more striking by the frame-work of •
snow-white straight,back hair which was brushed S
from his forehead, givinw :
him, in the opinion of the ladies, an ap- I
pearance I altogether irresistible.
was not greatly concerned about his !
appearance, but I knewhim to be a thor
oughly good fellow, and in spite of his
profession—he was a lawyer—in the
main a truthful one; I was therefore
surprised at the ’
new role which h“ “
seemed desirous of playing o'eliere j
“Are we expec ted to everv
thing you tell us?” asked madam, in a I
mocking tone, as she assumed a listen- 1
ing attitude.
“Y es, everything,” replied De Wolf.
“No one who knows me ever accused
me tion, of and having that fatal gift—imagina
you may rest assured that I
shall confine myself in the most abject
of manner doing to otherwise.” simple facts. I am incapable
As he spoke, the wind, which had
been working with nervous, uncertain
fingers at a loose-fastehed blind, finally
tore it open, slamming it against the
window with a crash that startled even
the cat from her drowsy dreams on the
hearth-rug. wind It was a wild night, the |
rattling roaring down the chimney and
among the ice-coated branches
of the great elms outside with a sharp
continuous sound like the noise of mus'- |
ketry. Within, the fire had burned low,
and the long, white curtains at the win
dows, looking strangely weird and un
familiar in the dim light, shivered and
trembled as if, in some occult way, thev
were in silent sympathy with the spirit
of the storm. j
Wheu we had gathered up the broken
shutters, fragments of glass and had closed the
De Wolf, who alone had been
unmoved by this little household dis
turbance aud the tremendous uproar of
the elements, went ou with his story.
“It was on a night not unlike this,”
he said, “when I left Boston
few days with Earie Russell at GiU .m.
You remember him at Yale—a very good
fellow, but with a penchant for missions. 1
He had married and settled down as a
pastor of a little country church. The
wonder is that he did not go to Nova
Zemtla or Central Africa, but perhaps
his wife he saved him from that. Iiow- |
ever, had found a mission at Gilsum,
and as his wife had gone on to New
York to spend a week with her sister,
Russell invited mo to keep bachelor’s!
hall with him during her absence. Well,
gether, we were when, having a night, cozy time of it had to- j
settled one just as we
ourselves in front of the library
fire, with our cigars and newspapers, a
boy drove unto the door in an old, un
painted sleigh, and announced that one
of Russell’s parishioners, an old man,
who lived in an outlying district, was
dying,*and wanted to sea the miuister.
Of course, Russell prepared to obey the
summons at once, ahd he did not return
till midnight. YVhen he came in his
hands were stiff with the cold and his
ears were half frozen, but there was a
glow on his face as he threw off his over
coat and came forward to the fire, which
was someihing more than simple satis
faction at being safely housed again. I
actually believe he did not know, whether
his hands were cold or not.
it i Well,’ he exclaimed, with a bright
smile, ‘I have seen one more happy soul
start on its long journey. You’ve no
idea, De Wolf.’ he weut on. ‘how it
takes takes away away the the fe3r fe3r of of death, death, if if you you ever ever
had it, to see a good man die. It is
such a simple thing, after all, aud it is
wonderful how simply these people look
at such matters. YVhen I entered the
house the old man was lying with his
eyes closed, but he looked uo and smiled
as I took his hand in mine.
“Y'ou are ready and willing to go,
are you, deaconI asked, as his eyes
met ® lae -
“ ‘The o.d man tfalf raised himself on
LINCOLNTON, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, MAY 31, 18S9.
d r ? P ntv’ a W hi 15 er;
'‘T - w ’ *? tell W , ^ the er f» "t* w 1 ^th, ” ett€r u elder, ac
‘
qua in ted.. You see, I ve got used to
»: |; s&s be L and a “&ir ti x
or tnows 3 t, I m willing—yes,
wining. \\ hen the end came, his
old lace brightened into a beautiful
Sm .'<T
1 wo a days after, t I went with • my
aif. at ‘. en “ ‘he man’s funeral,
About ■ miles drove
six out, we up to a
lonely farm house and alighted. The
short impressive service was soon over,
but it was already growing dark when
WC .:t It U .T had < *. T been horEe snowing S ^ad.homeward. in light, fitful
gusts all the afternoon, but when the
sun went ourselves down 1 the wind rose Ze -nd we
found obUged to
ing, driving storm. The soft, treacher
ous snow-nakes had changed to sleet,
aay.ay o„dI;3“Z tiff H Aaty b Wli“ -
k«p
hid h“s face °n his ?oat rolls? n *
p'..b.Vh”; t< "?T , i” tsg*
j? re< ^. a «*. comiD 2 m «■
O : fo e airec ti°n. The t w ° horses, oppo
* S?? coming
T“ be ‘
AZ unmana - e '
lSA“Xti ° Ut ’ b and :!d“w" beforei *” we 11 could M' 6 regain bo,I ‘
„„ our r w leet, our horse had disappeared,
ortun.telvj or unfortunately, as it may
Et 't t accident bous ® of had ° ne occurred of Russell ’in s
Dd ~' w The good gen.leman hastened
t0 t °P r a : sl6ta uce and insisted upon our
co ™\ a S lnto the house.
willing* ^ chilled, and
WA T—^ 1 snow . ^ om ,\l. ^ ea e ^ Y ere to usb
o a k brightly ligated parlor, where ,
a I°ung . lady, who seemed to me, in my
possibly ® nc h an ,‘®g somewhat v iaion of dazed loveliness, condition, an
came
forward to meet us. I made some inco
herent remark which I am thankful to
i^Dressiona^to very definlte
. ve-d/ JL ™ re lt, a *J blue sur| h dress, e Ji tlll! t, and y»““g had
T* W l-ri te laughed ° “ bot er Itmon
'
?„ h violent IT > Z Ur bn ab . 7 Pe r ‘
Sfntlit ° ’ P . * ho ’ pitalU . T for
“I have no very distinct recollection
°f how the evening passed, but at ten
°’ c * ocli; we were shown to our respective 1
rooms - Mine was on the ground floor, !
and as * d:d D °t inclined to go to !
slee P. } threw myself on a lounge before !
a hiding wood-fire and gave myself up
l V a su cce3Slon of Peasant dreams, in
- T ‘ ptoud confess,
am to a young
ady in a blue dress P la Y ed th9 mos t im
po Pf? t
1 nacl lam there ,. about two hours,
so
tb at *t m u»t have been near midnight,
when , I noticed, for the first time, that
tbe s t° rm v,as ov-er - an( t that a lew
stra ”S‘ lnff rays °t moonlight were
st reamln ff in . through the window, mak
ln ." strange, fantastic shadows on the
wall and floor. j
“I had neglected to draw the curtain,
and as 1 looked up, I was confronted by
and a f ? ce pressed close a " alnst the window >
star,n .? ln at me with expreisiouless,
P ale ' blUe e J B3 -
“It was the face of the man that I had
scen but a few hours before in his coffin,
There was the same softly curling gray
bair, the same closely cut gray beard,
and evea ?be same odd sear over the left
eyebrow. Feature and expression were
alike identical. Inexpressibly shocked,
I rose to my feet, but as I approached
tbe window, the figure retreated step by
E tep. He was dressed in a long, gray
garment that fluttered in the wind and
took on strange shapes as the shifting
light of the moon fell upon its soft folds
01 them in shadow. i
“ p am read y to admit that I was
starled, but as there was nothing really
fr visitor. .igbtful I in raised the appearance the window of my and strange ad- [
dressed bim with carefnl politeness.
“‘Well, sir,’I asked, -what is your
w'sh?’
“My question met with no response,
but the figure raised his hand, pointed
to his lips and then seemed to beckon
me toward him. The window was a
low one, and I leaped out, but as I
lauded in the snow, the figure turned,
and with oac wild gesture, ran. I
started in pursuit. A few rods from the
house, upon the other side of the street,
was an old grave ya:d, its broken shafts
and head stones plainly discernible in
*
the moonlight.
“For a moment I stood still, awed by
the silent majesty of the scene.
“Above me rose the sky,like the dome
of some spacious temple, its sapphire
roof supported on every side by pillars
of cloud, white like marole, or purple in
the distance like porphyry.”
At this point in the narrative madam,
in an unguarded moment, leaned for
ward in her chair, but De Wolf, ignor
ing this unconscious manifestation of in
terest, went on:
“Just opposite the house was a gao in
Ike fence which surrounded the deserted
burial-place, showed aud my ghostly with visitor at
once his familiarity his
surroundings ward the by turning his steps to
admittance, only place where one could
gain
“I hurried after him, but he was fleet
of foot, and as the tall figure of the old
mail glided in and out amongst the
broken grave-stones he seemed of no
more substantial essence than a slim,
gray shadow driven by the wiud.
“Once I came so close to h-m that I
put out my hand to lay hold of his robe,
but d my fell footslipped upon a piece of ice,
aQ I prostrate across a grave,
“A strange, discordant laugh fell upon
my ear. 1 rose to my feet. The tall,
gray figure ■ was just beyond,still beckon
ing with its weird, rd. white white hand, hand, thrnnvh through
which ..... the pa - e .... light of ' “ the moon seemed
”
1® ‘ shine,
-i m,d, ..a a„.h.a
forward recklesslv, conscious of nothing
but that dim, shadowy figure, forever
eludinsr. eluding, forever forever mocking mockinc me. me.
“Suddenly the ground beneath failin’ mv
feet gave wav, 1 felt myself
through spa n. All around me was
darkness—a darkness so absolute i’fell S q
dense, that I tried to orasp it as
iu an unreasoning effort to lav hold of
something “By solid and substantial.
I had a fallen quick instinct I perceived that,
j through the top of some
ruinous old tomb. 1 Samp groped wildly in
the darkness, felt the brick walls
‘tat shut me in. the stone iteps slimy
with mold, and saw far above me,
through the opening in the roof, a whiu
face, distorted with laughter, peering
tx*:c Acsaftras
every of faculty absorbed in one wild idea
through escape. The meiting walls and snow oozed
the broken fell upon
my head. I was knee-deep in water.
and plunging about in a fruitless effort
to find the door, vaguely conscious all
the while, that I was not the only occu
pant of last that loathsome place. in
“At my hands came contact
with cold iron
“I had found the door, but could I
open it? With the desperation of de=
i,-, pair ,i„7i I threw *“ 1 mvself -*5' Wmt it J It
A y 1 found m * 8elf ° Ut la - tbe
’
“liow I ever cannot got tell? back 'kree to the house
and to bed I weeks
Iri ?«■ ■ «*•»nn T&tKfiL S«p ’" 3T,
recognized as the village physician,
;"<•«“ °"wb,
am , h I asked, „d „„
astonished to find my voice so weak and
thread-like. For an instant I had an
impre-.sioa that I, too, had become a
ghost- which case I should probably
“»* *• i~m ”p -I -»*
quietly: atgaifc. ‘Do not talk, or you will sick, be ill
You have been very but
T0U #re better now. You must get
well.’
“I will get well,’ I remarked idiotic
a ]] y *jf you will go on sitting there by
the file.’
“Then I fell asleep, and when I awoke
again incidents I was strong enough preceding to recount the
of the night ray ill
ness, and to listen to aa explanation of
my remarkable experience. ”
“Ah.” observed madam, drawing a
j on g breath, “theu there was an explana
tiem, after all. It was an hallunciation
_ sim , >ly lirain .f e ver in an incipient
,t a t e ? >
“>'ot at all,” said De Wolf. “My
friends followed my footsteps through
the snow, found the broken tomb, and,
captured the ghost. "
“Ah? the ghost!”
“Yes. It happened that the man who
had died had a twin brother who was a
deaf-mute and harmlessly insane. He
had wandered away from his home, and
but rescued for him kindly hand3 who doubt found have and
would no be
come a veritable ghost on that eventful
night.” “And the lady the blue
young in
dress?”
De Wolf ran his fingers through his
white hair and laughed,
“.Madam, are vou aenuainted with
Miss “Clara Clara Wright! Wright'?’’ cousin, and
she last My own
spent winter-in €Ilsum. I see
it all now. t he wrote me iast week than
she had just become engaged. And you
are the man?” she added, svith a sudden
flash of inspiration,
“I believe I am,”repliel De Wolf,
bowing; “and I can assure you, madam,
that I am not insensible of the honor.”—
Fran!: Leslie's, „
.
Cuban Country Folk, „ ,,
The country people of Cuba live in
thatched houses of three or four rosins
with dirt floors. The leaves of the royal
pa'rn are used for thatching, and the
bark for the sides of the house. One
room is used for the kitchen. They have
no stoves or fire places. In the center of
the kitchen is a table about three feet
high covered with dirt. On this they
make the fire and do the cooking—each
utensil having a small fire under it. The
smoke escapes through the doors and
windows. The babies live mostly on the
dirt floors, consequently they are not
very clean or prepossessing. The dogs
and pigs seem to be perfectly at home
with the children. On the rafters inside
the room tobacco is hung to dry. The
family all sleep in one room,
They are very hospitable; they irest
you on the threshold with the salutation:
“Mi casa estu a su disposesion!”—the The
house is house in your possession. the kitchen and woman
of the goes to pre¬
pares a cup of coffee for the guest, which
is drank out of a cup made out of a fruit
similar to the cucumber. After partak
ing of the coffee, a board and some
tobacco leaves will be brought out and
in a short time the guests are provided
with cigars. They all know how to
make cigars. It would be quite impolite
not to accept and smoke cigars when
offered. The young ladies smoke
cigarettes and some married ladies
cigars. is rather singular
Their bill of fare a
one. and one that Americans do not
relish to a great extent. They Everything boil all the is
served in courses.
meat and vegetables in one pot. I have
seen and eaten of a dish composed of
cabbages, potatoes, beets, carrots bailed
with ham, beef and bologna sausage,
This dish they call “olia,” and is one of
whi li the Cubans are very fond. An
other favorite dish is baked turkey sliced
«nd served with on,ons. iueir coffee .s
a ‘ wa y s good. I .mes-JJemocraT.
Jewelry That Men IVcar.
The ultra-fashiona’-le young man
wears a goad deal of .ewelry, for his
gold matcli-box, with its uncut rubies,
sapphires, and diamonds upon it, may be
counted among his ewels, while the sil
ver cigarette-case carefully enameled in
white and showing on its white*back
ground a pretty ballet girl in black
must be considered another. On the
little linger of his left hand he wears a
heavy gold ring in which is imbedded
either a ruby or a sapphire, but never
hjofli, and auove this he likes to have a
somewhat worn wedding ring, which he
can can attribute attribute to to his his grandmother, grandmother, that v for for he he
is not ‘ above proving ‘ "* he has one.
About his neck is a long, sender gold
diamonds on one side and having on the
other, behind a c.ear bit of glass, the
t ac ® of the woman to whom he has sworn
eternal allegiance. White enameled
buttons and links are in best taste for
evening wear, and, indeed, are worn by
many men all the time, though in reality
tlle P Iain S°I d buttons are proper tor tne
, day time. — Chicago Jhrnec.
-- -
President John Adams was worth
, about $80,000 when he died, which was
a fine fortune in those days,
RTTTMtRT LUHVJTjI OF UT T FUN L lL
-
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
«— ■—<»
Frolicsome Domestics — Carefnl of
Hi* Health—Innocence Aloft—
An Unmistakable Evidence
—Nothing New, Etc.
_
r “ re “ laughter and dancing at Hominy
And tbT ladies w*r- hanov-bnt PP7 cavest S y of
all
B‘®., Whl!e coo:: A Qe lady was. ,ajl as seampered she frolieed with around,
aurse ? pan
th ?*-dike , bound:
tv The wash laty sat at ease in her chair,
th * rooms
Eut a!as short for liTed their'joy:—It was brief anl
Frr th ’
, .
Journ.L
“Will you have a piece of my pie, Mr.
i
2 toS?“l S£tl££. ""
Innocence Aloft.
Farmer (to a tramp tree?-“What whom he has sur -
prised in a fruit are yon 1
*»a; py i**!SRa?aSW „
fallen down.”— Jfuif ani'E^yrtss.
An Unmistakable Evidence.
ms . .“&• bill Bronson this wee must c.’’ have failed to pay
"U by do you think that?”
“Why, didn t you notice Mrs. Tornp
kins gave him the ne:k of the turkey at
dinner:”— Bazar.
Nothing New.
Mrs. Fangle—“Weil, this is strange!”
Mr. Fangie —“What is it, my dear?”
“A man in 1’atis has taught an ape to
black his shoes.”
“ Oh, there’s nothing remarkable
about that, my dear. I’ve often heard
of monkey-shines.”
Heard in Chicago.
Armour—“I say, Davis, do you re¬
member when beef was highest?”
Davis—“No, I can’t say that I do.”
“Why, when ‘the cow jumped over
the moon,’ of course.”— Time.
Limit to His Love.
She—“You are sure you iove me?”
He —“Love you? Why, I an ready to
die for you. ’
She—“When we’re married will you
always get up and star, the kitchen fire?”
He—“Fr- er—pray be reasonable, my
dear.”— Epoch.
No Objection.
Tenaweek—“Sir, I with to marry
your Gruff daughter." rather “My daughter,
will continue — under "the young
man. * parental
roof.”
Tenaweek “No t objection will be
ra:sed to that, sir.”— Ha-per s Bazar.
She Understood Her Business.
Miss ilimdiet—“Anew boarder came
while you were out—a young lady.”
Mrs. Slimdiet (boarding housekeeper)
— “Is she pretty?”
“Awfully.”
“Well, in that case put an extra strip
of rag carpet in front of her mirror.”—
Pnila-.’.e’phia Becor.l.
From One Mystery to Another.
Jones—“Matilda, where is that latch
key 1 handed you this morning?”
Mrs. Jones—“In the pocket of my
'
dress hanging up over there.”
Jones (tire minutes later, desperately)
— “And now, Matilda, will you please
tell dress me ?”—Mail where to find the pocket o; your
anl Exprts*. •
„. _ _ ..
dayevemin^ day evening he wants to make the very
S sayT eS5i ° n ’ aad ’ dWP th ° U * hf ’
he
“Y'ou don’t know, Miss Clara, how
becoming darkness is to youi” 'the
Then he wonders at sudden and
lasting chilliness in her manner. — Busy.
Why She Preferred the Tenor
“So the belle of the choir has married
the tenor?”
“Yes.”
“I thought she favored the l ass.”
■Ye?, but she got sorao high „
-.own
notions into ner head and threw over the
bass for the tenor. ’
“For what reason:” ^
“Because the tenor was more high
toned .”—Boston Courier.
A Protracted Conversation.
At a party the other evening a gentle¬
man took his friend up to his mother to
make his adieux. “I can’t wait,” he
said, * ‘but as soon as there is a lull in “
the conversation you can speak to her.
Two or three hours later he encountered
the friend, looking left very dismal, in the
spot where he him.
“What, unable to tear yourself away,
eh:”
“No,” mumbled the other, “there
hasn’t been a lull yet.”— Time.
Little Difficulty About That.
Teacher—“A man meeting a farmer
with a drove of w.th'your sheep said: ‘Good
morning, friend, hundred
sheep.’ The farmer replied: ‘1 have
not a hundred sheep; but if I bad so
manv more and half as many more ar.d
one sheep and a half, I should have a
hundred.’ Now tell me how you would
<ro to work to find out how many he
F - „ -
“scholar— “Count/hem. I guess that
would be the quickest way. '—Boston
T-rans npt.
s, s R .lumped at the Chance.
Alfonse de Beriot—“You say vou are
Miss Gushiugton— “What! Next
Friday? YVhy, dear Alfonse, you are so
sudden and so
“You quite misunderstand me. I
protest—I “Tnat all didn't right, You didn’t
s Alfonse.
propose as they usually do.but I like it
just the same. Yes, der-r, it shall be ou
ADday.
Alfqnse swoons. — Boston. Gatet'c.
W y W aiTtTrv.r,,. P 1 *,
«, Blobson , Ha, v ha: . r Here T ,” s an article
which savs that before the close of the
nineteenth century we shall see women
roads.” running locomotive engines on our rail
!
Mr. Blobson—‘‘In some respects, per
haps. They would keep a good lookout
ahead, anyway.”
[ Mr- Airs. Blobeon—“Why Blobson—“Eecause so?” they would
have their heads out of the cab window
all the time to show their new bonnets."
' _Burlington Free Pres-,
A Fife Del
Gertrude— f l t , Clara, n T I don j- t tnow know how h w
I shall ever thank you sufficiently for
that nobon calender.”
Clara-“The idea! such a trifle i’>
> “ TVeU a three , ‘ trl ? hours e ’ lf , y sleep , oa will ‘ bu night . td
saves me every
I „j, Wh.n
lovely gift. Then while it is the subject
“,™
»“ “” gS “
He Wasn't Ta-cotr.
: „.eatt?oublJ Hunarv Tramn—“Madame Tcaa’t'cwrr^h’s I’m “rib'e in
S s T t n S
T “ °"' ,b<
millionaire, in Chicago. I'd If you’ll you’d give
me a good square meal reward as soon anybody
get that S.30,000 as
else.”
Lady of the House—“Certainly, come
right in. * * * There's some soup, a
porterhouse steak, some mashed potato,
stewed corn and turnip, and there’s a
v.hole mince pie. Eat all you want.”
~ Tramp gorginghimself satiety)
latter to
— “Thank you, maaame; you are very
. kind. I feel a great deal better—so weil
that 1 guess I can carry my terrible
secret to the next town and work it on
somebody for supper .”—Chicago Herald.
.
He Preferred Arrest.
A thie: broke into a fine residence
eariy in the morning and found himseff
in the music-room. Hearing footsteps
approaching he hid behind a screen.
From se>en to eight o’clock Miss
Laura had a lesson on the piano. second
From eight to nine o'clock the
daughter took a singing lesson.
From nine to ten o’clo k the eldest
son had a violin lesion,
From ten to eleven o'clock the other
soa took a lesson on the nute.
At eleven o'clock all the brothers and
sisters assembled and studied aa ear-
3p l.;ting piece for piano, violin, flute and
TO ice.
The thief staggered out from behind
the screen at haif-past eie en, and, fall¬
ing at their feet, cried: “For goodness’s stop.”—
sake, have me arrested, but
Wap.
The Prescription.
There was. some time ago, a doctor
whose morning levees were crowded be
yond description. It was his pride and
boast that he could feel his patient's
pulse, look at his tongue, probe at him
with his stethoscope, write his prescrip
tion. pocket his fee. in a space of time
varying from two to five miuutes. One
day an army man was shown into the
consulting room, and underwent what
ruay be called the instantaneous process.
When it was completed the patient
shook hands heartily with th? doctor,
and said: “I an especially heard! glad to father, meet
you, as I have often my
C-olonel Forester, speak of his old friend.
Dr. L." “What 1” exclaimed the doctor,
“are you Dick Forester's son“Most
certainly I am.” “My dear fellow, fling
that prescription into the fire, and sit
down quietly and tell ms whats the
matter with you."— Hw-rtjs Magazin-.
Sliahily Disappointed in the Baby.
“Well, Jimmv,” said Mr. Dolan, as
gotSne ° ws'tffeU Jou‘'°‘’ Ve
“Ww i- ir fi'ber’” •
“Irt something that will surprise yez
Te !: ™' 1 < i b
Pf ri . C , ft ... b , be . , , r
pn ■ ,? m me but ? ,el1 f t> waHt . * the ne;vS ‘" "
’
“Y’e’ve got a little brother.”
“Is that so?”
“The same it is, Y'ez can go into the
next room and make a call on the new
visitor if ye loike.”
The boy went out and came back af
ter a short time had elasped with an ex
pression of mingled pleasure aud disan
pointment ou his face,
“Well, Jimmy,” said the paternal Do
j aDf “how do you loike ver new brotk
er ?»
“Very weil, father: but Oi’d much
rather have got a goat ."—Merchant
Tntceler.
How He Won Them.
On the rolling prairies. A band of
cowboys has captured a horse thief.
Cowboys (in gleeful chorus)—“We’ve
S ot . no ^’ >,° u vlllam ’ and ^ ____ are
t0 swin ='
p ^ ,are the rope and select a con '
The Villain—“Hold on, boys. I’il
bet you the drinks you don’t stretch my
neck.”
. Cowboys—“Oh! won't we, just?”
■ They pinion his arms.
The Milam— “I can put you up to
“^e?Se‘hi. , ,, fc^tither. . „
The Villain—“I know where $00,000 ’
m . J^ d 1S )U!I 'V
^adjust , thenoose to, . , hu . nee* ,
The A ,lla,n 7„ I can pUt yoU 0n ‘° a
sd .,. 'er mine.
They commence to hoist him up.
^ S<>t
chorus of Voices fexcitedly)—“Hold
Let hlm dowo „
He is let down,released and pardoned.
— Lies.
Exquisite Brooches.
a New Y'ork jeweler has sent some
wonderful brooches to the Paris Expos;
They are gold enameled orchids
of fifteen varieties, each as perfect in its
as the product of nature. The
stems are made green with emeralds,
q'^e coloring of the leaves is marvelous
beyond description, testifying to the ex
traordinary skill of the designer as well
a s to the artistic sense and exquisite
taste of the enameler. Nothing more
beautiful can be imagined .ban the gen
eral effect of each plant. ;
Sabscription: $U5 in Advance.
SONG OF THE HEADLIGHT.
When tbe fall moon lays a radiant haza
From earth to Heaven’* wall.
Or the tranquil stars mark the viewless bar
Whence the arrows of vision fall.
Or 1 send my glance where the quick drop*
dance
With the pattering call of the rain.
To their comrades asleep in the hidden deep
Of the subterranean main.
Or if storms are out and the free winds shout
With fitful falls and swells,
A steadfast glow of light I throw
On the gleaming parallels.
I guide the train o'er the level plain,
A swiftly nearing star,
And I bend and swerve where the mountains
curve
My iron-bound path to bar.
Up their rocky steeps the fleet flame leaps.
Or I flash to their depths below:
Till the mosses that dress each dim recess
And the nodding ferns I show;
I spring to illume the frowning gloom
Of precipices gray,
And waters smile from the deep defile
In my momentary day.
Where the wood benign with heck and sign
Invites all timid things
To its shelter spread for the crouching head
And its covert for drooping wings,
X bear my light, till in vain affright
The doe with her trembling fawn
And the creatures meek that refuge seek
In the forest shade withdrawn,
Press closer yet to the copse daw-wet.
Or speed through the whispering grass,
To hide them away from the searching ray
I shoot through the dark as X pass.
As a meteor fiies in star t
By a myriad moveless spheres, -
I hurry along where lamplights throng
As the sleeping town appears:
Like the coming of Kate, to those who wait
Till I bear their loved away,
I seem as I shine down the widening line,
Ere I pause fora moment’s stay;
But he who feels those rolling wheels
Lead home, to his heart's desire.
Can half believe his eyes peroeivo
The r-ophefs chariot of fire.
Still on and on till the night is gona
I follow the vibrant rails.
Till the east is red, and overhead
The star of the morning pales.
As foes may fear the soldier's spear.
But comrades have no dread,
The lances of light I hurled at the night
Pierce not where sunbeams spread.
So I cease my rays when the Heavaa ablaaa
Proclaims the darkness fiei
—Hardy Jackson, in Neio York Tribune.
PITH AND POINT.
A kiss is a sort of water 'cress.
The omnibus horse always enjoys tha
luxury of whoa .—Boston Gazette.
The peculiarity, about a rising death
rate is that it brings people down.
Can you call a man chopping ice a
water cracker ?—Pittsburg Chronicle.
Alan gets but little here below o'er
which to make much of a crow.— Bli:
za r
The most unpleasant constellation to
see of a winter’s night is the grate bare.
— Hatptr's Bazar.
Eeside the door mats at the White
House, diplomats are often seen there.—
Pittsiu ~g Chronicle.
Six feet four inches is the stature of
the new British Minister. He is tall
enough to be addressed as His Highness.
—Pittsburg Chronicle.
The physician makes his money by
ptacticing. When he has become so
skillful that he doesn’t have to practice
then he retires .—Boston Transcript.
The gedlte spridg has co'oe asaicl,
Steed widlers reigd is edded;
The robid childred’s dote id suddy gled b’.edded.
With song is
—Buffalo Courier.
“I was badly bitten by flies in every
-'country in Europe except Belgium.” don’t
‘.‘Have they none there?” “I
know. I didn’t go there.”— Harper's
Bazar.
“If I put mv money into the savings
bank,” said Pat. “when can I draw it
out again?” “Oh,” answered hisfelbw
couutrvman, “if you put it in to-day
you caii get it out to-morrow by giving
a fortnight’s notice. ”
BALDNESS EXPLAINED.
“Grandpa, what made you so bald!” the child
Asked as she sat on the old man’s knee:
And the old man, rubbing his shining poll,
With this answer the wee one beguiled:
"The years rolling over our heads, you see.
Rub off all the hair as they roll ”
—Neic York Herald.
•■Trimmins” Gotham’s Refuse.
It is often said that nothing goes to
waste in New York. If this be true it
is not because there are no wasteful peo¬
ple here. Enough stuff of more or less
value is thrown into the ash barrels of
this city daily to support a horde of not
over-particular people, who rake the
refuse ever diligently, and sort out every
fragment of bone, wood, rag and glass,
all of which have a fixed commercial
value and are readily turned into a little t
money. But this is the mere humdrum
part of the work A feature of excite¬
ment is lent to it by the frequent finding
of coins, brie a-brae, jewelry, banknotes,
silverware and almost every conceivable
household chattel of small size that is
readily lost by careless owners or lazy
servants. That this sort of thing mounts
up to a respectable sum every day is
w ived by a visit to the dumping docks
of the Street Cleaning dumps Department, the
i uere are a number of these at
water’s edge, to which the city ash-cavt»
come and shoot their loads down into
the waiting scows. In order to make
the scows carry as much as possible, the the
refuse must be piled evenly all over
boat, “trimmed” is the technical phrase, of
and the trimmers are the poorer class
Italians, who get $1 a day for their dis¬
agreeable work. These men do the sort¬
ing and finding of anything valuable
that has been thrown out with the ashes.
They hand it alt over to their padrones,
who have bid for the privilege they of the trim¬
ming the scows. As pay city
about $1000 a week fof the privilege,
and pay their men about $1000 more in
wanes, and as the competition in the
bidding fer the privilege is always brisk,
it can" be padrones easily seen that profit, in the order_ kind to
Rave the any
people of New York must continue to
waste a good deal of their substance
every A&j.—New York Tribune,
er’