Newspaper Page Text
The Pike County Journal.
VOL. VI.
JUSTICE COURTS.
ZEBULON
W M Hartley I P
0 F Redding N P
Fourth Saturday
EPPINGER
8 S Barrett J P
First Saturday
HOLLONVILLE
J W Dunbar J P
s N P
First Saturday
DIUVBR
W J Coggm, Justice
J P Baker, Notary
Second Saturday
■WEANSVILLE
0 L Butler Justice
B W McGinty, Notary
fourth Friday
CONCORD
J T Beckham, Justice
Robt H McLendon, Notary
Third Saturday
SECOND
Robt MeLer<>y, Justice
J R Sykes, Notary
Third Saturday
PIEDMONT
T M Allen, Justice
J L Buasev, Notary
Fourth Saturday
MOLENA
0 B Blount, Justice
E M Eppinger, Notary
Third Friday
BARNESV1LLLR
R L Merritt, Justice
Q E Hnglev, Notary
Third Thursday
MILNER !
P G Moore, Justice |
J E Gardner, Notary
Fourth Monday
ZEBULON, GA.
Z" is Ptfce rior is EDULON ion re flanked m*? state. attractiens and county, near hospitable on is It the situated all and ia for sides geographical the with the people iu scat by Its home-seeker. Pile healthful gently it of offers county justice centre sloping supe- locn- a no ol ol It
ids and fertile valleys. Here is found every
riirietv of soil and scenery. One of the hobbies
of tne'town is Its most railroad, excellent school. its ccmnle The;
Atlanta and Florida since
iton to Fort Valley, has had the effect of infus- :
ing new life into the old town, anil places u« <
within about an hour’s ride of Atlanta, tin* j
capital narnesviile, of the state. Milner Uoncord and Molcna ar*
hriving »ml pretentious towns—the two former
n the eastern portion of the county arid the two
>-,alter m the western portion. There are a hail
Zozen other towns in the county of much local
importance, besides Hixtv three miles of rail
road—all sustained by a prosperous and pro
gressive people. It ia an instance of the “sur
vival of the Attest” that Z1SBUL0N should be
chosen as the county site for this large and
prosperous this county. central location Tl»© Fikv
From Issued read
Fount? JonruttA i» weekly and
J. A AYCOCK.
MANUFACTURER
SASH, DOORS, BLINDS, MANTELS i
MOULDINGS, ETC.
'
ify blinds and doors are put with mathematical acuracy and no wedges are 1
up
Died. In reliable workmanship I yield to no consent in the South. When you
et ready to
.Build a House
It will be very little trouble to see mo and I m»v suit reu better than anyone elsi
In both material and price*.
BASS BROS.
When you come to Grifllu come to our place, and come prepared
to be surprised and delighted. Never snob a chance to buy Desira
.1 ble Goods so cheap as at our store during the next few week . While
other people were trembling over the panic we were hunting up
scared factories and, for cash, selecting their choice makes at half
prices, and shipping them here by the car-load, until our house is
positively an exhibition as well as a store.
Never was there between Atlanta and Macon so vast a collection of
Seasonable Merchandise in one place as under our reef to-day; and
as to prices they are but little over half what others are obliged to
ask. We mean this—all of this, and we will prove it to any one who
will buy of us, and, on the same day, buy similar goods elsewhere.
If you want Silks, or Satins, Woolens or Cottons ’
I)o not go further from home nor stop nearer home than our store in
Griffin for them-that is, if you want to save money in your purch
ases. G-oods
Press
Of every sort and kind to suit any purse. 300 Cloaks at less than
factory prices. 400 pairs of Blankets, some of them as low as 75c a
" and Hosiery for the thousands.
pair. Underwear
Fine Clothing and Popular Price -Clothing.
If yon want a suit or a garment, the very best for the least possible
mo.ey, come to see us and we will meet you on your own grounds.
Shoes.
Ladies’ Shoes, Men’s Misses’ Boys’ and Children’s Shoes. Women’s
heavy good wear shoes, 25c; Ladies' shoes, solid and durable, $1.00 ;
Genuine Gondola, 81.25. We are breaking the record on shoes.
Onr Men’s P. Calf Balmoral shoes at 81 cannot be equaled, while onr
tap sole, dirt-excluding Blutcber at $1.50 recognizes no competition.
For Fiue Shoes, conie to us. 8o wifb Haig, Shirts, Jeans, Flan
nels, Sheetings, Shirtings,—anything usually kept in a
First-Class Dry Goods Store,
%!
BASS BROS.
3 T more than 5.000 people. Ii is the rccogniaed naturally
xmnty paper vu.tanu.aUau and to it the all questions people of local
’.oak fat on
interest. special advantage! ,
Inquiries with ruforenco to
ulli paper" pr0mi,t
gfgm..
PROFSSSIONAh CARDS.
S. N. WOODWARD
Attorney at L aw,
BARNESVILI.E. - - - GA.
E. F. DUPREE.
Attorney at Law,
ZEBULON. GA.
97111 practice m –U the courts. Tromp
attention given to all business en
trusted to him.
.1. II. PHILLIPS.
Physician and Surgeon
ZEBULON, GEORGIA.
(Next door to Judge Dupree.)
G. H. m’DOWUJX, J. ('. HOOTF.N
McDowell \ hooten,
Physicians and Surge ns,
MOLENA, GEORGIA,
DK. R. H. .1. OAKLAND.
XJJdtV'X’XfA'f,
GRIFFIN, GEORGIA.
Office over Grifllu BmikiiigCompany.
Teeth smoothly and permanently
filled or extracted without pain.
,
E. W. II AM MO NO. L. CLEVELAND.
HAMMOND – CLEVELAND )
Attorneys at Law, ■
GRIFFIN, GEORGIA.
D (J BECKHAM, |
Practical M atchmaker and Jeweler.
!
|
a) |
j j
ZLBULON, PIKE CO., GA., FIJI DAY, MARCH 10, 1894.
l lltHUltillered,
flowovor strong and skilled art thou, my
.
* otf
However tierce is thy relentless hate 1
Though Hrm thy ham!, .ml sure thy him, and
straight
Thy poisoned arrows leave thy bended bow
To pierce the target ol ray heart,-—ah 1 know
I am the master yet of ray own fate.
Thou e–ust not rob me of my chief estate,
Though fourtune, fame, and friends, yes,
love shall go.
Not to the dust shall ray true self be hurled,
Nor shall I meet thy worst assaults dis
mayed.
Wheu ull things in the balance are well
weighed
There is but one great danger ia the world.
Thoucanst not force my soul to wish the©
ill
There only lies the evil that can kill.
—[Ei.u Wheeler Wtncox, in Harper’s
Weekly.
UNDER THE SOFA.
The room was hung in pale blue
silk; the Prayer from Orpheus was
open on a spinet; the chairs had lyres
for hacks; a mahogany writing-desk;
a white bed with its decoration in
loses; painted doves in pairs along
tbo cornice; the whole seemed to
smile with a tender grace. The Jump
shone softly, and the flickering fire
light tilled the dusky corners us with
palpitating wings. Seated before the
writing-desk iu a loose gown, her del
ieate neck inclined under the pale,
magnificent aureole of her hair, Juli
ette is looking over old letters, which
have lain, tied up with ribbons, for
gotten in the drawers.
The stroke of midnight sounds; it is
the sign of the merging of the old year
into the. new. The dainty clock, upon
which a laughing, gilded love is
perched, announces that the year of
1793 is ended.
At the moment when the hands eon
join, a little phantom appears. A
pretty child issuing from a tiny room
adjoining, where ho sleeps, comes to
throw himself into his mother's arms
and wish liar a happy New.Year.
“A happy New Year, Pierre, I
thank you; but do you know what a
happy year is?”
Ho thinks ho knows, but she wishes
to impress the lesson still deoper.
• A year Is good, my darling, for
those who have passed it without halo
and without fear. ”
She kisses him and carries him back
to the bed he has left, and then reseats
herself before the desk. She gar.es
first at the flames glowing on the hearth
and then at the letters, from which
faded flowers tire dropping. It costs her
much to burn them, butitmust be done
because those letters, if discovered,
would send to the guillotine him who
wrote anil her who received them. I f
she alone wore in question, she would
not destroy them, so weary is she of
contending for her life; but she
thinks of him, hunted, proscribed, de
nounced, at this very moment hiding
in some liay-loft nt the other end of
Paris. It would take but a single one
of these letters to track him out and
give him over to death.
Pierre is snugly asleep in the next
room, and the two servants have re
tired to the upper regions. The deep
silence of tiro season of snow reigns
without. The sharp pure air quickens
tho flame in the fireplace. Julie is
going to burn the letters, hut it is n,
task she kuows she cannot accomplish
without deep and sad reflection. 8he
is going to burn the letters, but not
without reading them.
They are arranged in order, for
Julie infuses everything pertaining to
her with the exactness of her mind.
Some, already yellowed, arc dated
three years back, and Julie, in the
silence of the night, lives over again
enchanted hours, Not a single page
is consigned to the flumes before the
beloved syllables that cover it are ten
times spelled.
The calm is profound around her.
Occasionally, as tho hours pass, she
goes to the window and, lifting the
curtain, sees in the silent darkness the
spire of Saint Germain-des-Tres sil
vered in the moonlight; then she
takes Hi) again her work of slow and
regretful destruction. And how can
she refrain from drinking in for a iast
time these delicious pages? How can
she give to the flames those dear lines
without first engraving them forever
on heart? The calm is profund
-round her, and her soul is palpitating
with youth and love. She reads:
“I see yon wliC n absent, Julie, I
walk surrounded by the images my
fancy creates, I see you, not motion
less and cold, but warm, alive; always
changing, always perfect. I draw
around you in my dreams the most
magnificent spectacles of the universe.
How happy is he who is Julie's lover I
All things charm him, because he
sees her in them all. Loving her, he
lovea to live; he admires the
world that she illumines; he cherishes
the earth that blooms under her foot
steps, Love reveal* to him hidden
meanings in all that surrounds him.
Ho understands the infinite forms of
creation; they all picture forth Julie's
image; ho hears tbo innumerable
voices of nature; they all murmur
Julie’s name. Enraptured, lie lets his
gaze float out upon the broad sea of
daylight, knowing that the same radi
ance bathes Julie’s face, like a divine
caress thrown over tho most perfect of
human forms. To-night, tho first
stars will make him tremble; he will
think, ‘Perhaps she, too, is looking at
them now.’ He breathes her
in in all tho perfumes of the air. He
could kiss the earth that boars her, .
. . My Julio, if I must fall under
the proscriber’s axe, if, like Sidney, I
must die in the cause of liberty, dr" *h
itself cannot hold in the nether-world,
where you arc not, my unhappy shade.
I will fly to yon my darling; often
will my soul return to float around
you. ”
She reads and dreams. Tho night
is ending. Already a palo, gray stveak
shows under the curtains; it is the
dawn. Tho servant?: have commenced
their tasks; she wishes to finish hors.
Were those, voices she just now heard?
No, the calm is profound around her.
The calm is profound, but it is be
cause tho snow deadens tho sound of
footsteps. Men arc approaching; they
arc here; loud knocks shake the door.
She has not time to hide tho letters,
to i'li,sc the desk. All that she can
do, she does; she gathers up the pa
pers in her arms ami throws them un
der the sofa which has a deep valance
around it. Some of the letters are
scattered outside on tho carpet; she
shoves them under with her foot,
seizes a book, and falls into an arm
chair.
Tho President, of tho District enters,
followed by twelve patriots. He is a
former clmir-memler by the name of
Brochot, whoso limbs tremble os
though with fever, olid whoso blood
shot eyes are perpetually rolling os
though at sights of horror.
Ho signs to his men to guard tho
doors, and addresses Julie;
“Gitizeness, we have just boon in
formed thatwouare in correspondence
with various agents of I’itts and with
emigrants and conspirators in
I come to seize your papers in the
name of tho law! You wore desig
nated to me a long time ago as an ar
istocrat of tire most dangerous kind.
Citizen Rupaix, who stands before”—
he pointed to one of his men—“lias
admitted that in tho severe winter of
1789 you gavo him money and cloth
ing to corrupt him. Lenient magis
trates, without proper public spirit,
have spared you too long.
But I am master now, and you
shall not escape tho guillotine.
Give up your papers, citizen ess. ”
“Take thorn yourself,” said Julie,
“my desk is open.”
Sundry notices of births, deaths, or
marriages, old bills, and business pa
pers still remained in the desk, and
Brochot examined them one by one.
He turned them from side to side, and
felt them as would a man uncertain of
his ability to read, and at intervals
ejaculated, “Bad! the. name of ci-de
vant king is not erased. This is bad,
bad!”
Julio concludes from this that tho
search is to be a long, minute one.
She cannot refrain from casting a fur
tive glance toward the sofa, and she
sees the corner of a letter peeping out
from under tho valance like the white
ear of a eat. At sight of this, her an
guish suddenly ceases. The cer
tainty that all is lost brings a
tranquil assurance to her mind
and upon her face n calm
quite like that of security. Sho
is sure the men will see this point of
paper that sho sees, gleaming white
upon the rod carpet. If seems to
force tho eye toward it. But she does
not know whether the discovery will
come at once or Inter, and doubt occu
pies and amuses her. She even, in
this tragic moment, watches the pa
triots as they approach or turn from
the sola, as though their movements
were part of a game.. Brocket, who
has finished with the papers in the
desk, becomes impatient, and declares
that nothing shall prevent his finding
what he seeks.
Ho overturns the furniture, exam
ines the back of the pictures, and raps
with his sword-hilt on the wood-work
to disco ver possible hiding-places. He
finds none. He removes tho glass
from tho mirrors to see if anything is
concealed behind. There is nothing.
During this time the men are tear
ing up soriiS-fff '0 tile floor
ing; they swear that a worthies'! aris
tocrat shall not make ga(he of good
sans-culottes, such as they But not
one of thorn has seen the ]|ttlc under white the
point peeping out from
valance of the sot's.
They take Julie through U other
rooms of the house and d Ijnaud table*, all
the keys. They break
(
smash the window panes in fragment*,
rip open chairs and disembowel
couches, And still they find nothing.
But Brochot lias not yet given up;
ho returns to tho bed-room.
"In the name of God t The papers
•re here—I am sure of it!”
Ho examines the sofa, declares it
suspicious-looking and thrusts the
whole length of his sabre through it
five or six times. Still he finds no
trace of what he is seeking, and with a
frightful oath he gives his men the sig
nal for departure.
He lias reached the door, when,
turning to Julio, with his fist extended
toward her, he declaims;
“Tremble when you see me again 1
1 am tho sovereign people!”
lie is the lust, one to pass out.
At last, they arc gone. She listen*
to the sound of their footsteps dying
out in the stairway. She is savod!
Nor has her imprudence betrayed him!
She runs with a gleeful laugh to em
brace Pierre, who is sleeping as sound
ly an though tho whole house had not
been in turmoil around him.
Julie shone for a time with consider'
able brilliancy under the Consulate;
but in the midst of her splendor, she
would often murmur at night sad
secrets to.the trees on the park. Sho
waa stronger to withstand tho terrors
of death than the trials of love.
Her husband became a baron and »
perfect under the Empire, and little
Pierre died, a colonel of gendarmerie,
at Versailles in 1859.—[From the
French in Romance.
Ah iiniiiui Orator of Today.
A delegat ion of Snake Indians visited
the red men on the Umatilla reserva
tion during tho holidays. When they
started for homo Young Chief de
livered the following eloquent fare
well address to his visitors:
“Wo part to-night. Not as before.
For onoo hate was between us. Now
there ia love. Once war; now peace.
Onco we swung tho tomahawk, and
aimed the deadly rifle at eacli other’s
hearts. Now tho pipe of peace wo
smoke to show that tho past is past
and buried. In other ways it is dif
ferent. There was a time when some
of ns lay in ambush against tho whites.
But, we have all put aside the imple
ments of war and cultivate the arts of
poai o. Our fathers swore eternal von
gouc ■ on tho palefaces. This was be
CAusu of the tradition handed us by
them of an invasion of trappers and
traders who valued not tho Indian’s
life. They went to the sea and found
their friends at Astoria by the great
water, and ieft some to mourn their
Indian dead. But we live side by side
with him now, and from tho rising to
the setting sun we know no foe for
whom wo would put on tho war paint
and riilu forth to return with scalps
hanging at our holts. Our ponies no
more carry us to bloody attack. Wo
own the great father at Washington as
our great chief. Him we obey. Tho
past is forgotten. Major Jim, go to
your people and say Young Chief,
sends them peace and good will.”—
[Portland Oregonian.
Bulky Blank Books.
“Well, no, it isn’t exactly a pocket
manual, but tho clerk who will use it
will do so without apparent effort,” re
marked James E. Magee. Tho sub
ject ofconversHliou was a blank ledger,
a huge affair, which reposed, fresh and
bright in its canvas cover, beneath a
weight. “It weighs about seventy-five
pounds,” continued Mr. Magee.
‘While it’s bulky and heavy, I’ve
made much larger blank books than
that, and for every use. Not long ago
the Government made a requisition for
twenty-four books, each of about 125
pounds. They were really wliat might
bo termed bulky. If the users had to
lift them and replace them in tho vaults
morning and night wo would liuvo to
raise a race of stevedore-clerks. For
tunately for the clerks, janitors perform
this service. They are. not made for
show, either, for they could not well bo
replaced by smaller ones.—[Philadel
phia Call.
A Slight Error.
“You bru’to!” exclaimed Mrs. Pop
per, as she reached out in the darkness
and felt in the crib for the baby.
“What’s the matter now?” growled
Pepper, half asleep.
“Matter! Matter enough. Get up
at once and fetch the baby. ”
“You’re dreaming; the baby’s in
the crib. ”
“ ’Tain't. ton brought up the. cat
wrapped in a blanket and rocked it to
sleep, and left the baby down stairs on
the sofa.”—[Hallo.
To Ue Expected.
Cholly—“Yaas, wo missed each
other in the crowd.”
She—“That’s just liko her. Sho’u
always losing things, ”—[Life,
CHILDREN’S COLUMN.
AN EIiKPHAffr's NAILS.
Three times a year at least n captive
elephant must have his hoofs cut and
trimmed into good shape—once iu the
spring, onco when traveling with the
circus iu tiro summer, and once more
when the huge beast bus returned to
winter quarters.
The solo of the elephant's foot be
comes gradually covered during the
year with a substance resembling
horn, much like his three great toe
nails. This, it’ allowed to grow too
douse, is apt to crack and make the
beast lame. Accordingly one of the
keepers stations the elephant in the
t ing and bids him to balance himself
nil three logs while he stretches out
the other behind him, resting it on
a block of wood or box. With ft car
penter's “drawing-kuifo” the. hoof is
then ftttaokod and shaved quickly
down. Sometimes pieces of the bony
substance live or six inches long and
nearly as thick are cut ofl' without the
elephants fooling any pain whatever,
or tho knife taking too much from the
sole.
Frequently pieces of glass, nnilH,
splinters and the like arc found im
bedded in the growth, and these ft is
very important to have extracted, lest
they should work their way upward
ami fester in the foot. When the first
rough going over is completed, the
keeper, with a smaller knife, trims
each nail into handsome shape, (its
olcanliness and new color unite im
.inn ue animal h appeftrance)
covers any small wounds with tar, and
dismisses the patient.
It takes six hours to do this curious
job in a proper manner, and the
keeper is tired out wheu two beasts
have received his attentions.—[Detriot
Free l’ross.
raossm’s kittens.
Two kittens live iu a big bouse over
Hie way, with Mrs. Muff, their mother.
The black kitten is named Jolty, and
the white one is named Fairy. Tho
little girl with long curls, who also
lives in the big house, gave tho kit
tens their names. Sho was very glad,
that morning, when her papa called
her into the woodshed, and sho saw
that hor dear Mrs. Muff had found
two nice soft baby-cats.
“Flossie,” said the little girl’s
mamma to hor olio day, “do you not
think it would bo kind to give one of
these kittens to Mary? Sho wants a
kitten very much.”
Mary belonged to tho woman who
made Flossie’s dresses. Sho did not
have many playthings, and sho had
wanted a kitten over since she saw
Jetty and Fairy. Flossie knew it, hut
thought slio could not spare either of
her kittens, and said so.
“You need not give one away unless
you want to,” said mamma, “hut I
should be very glad if my little girl
tried to bo generous.”
Flossie pouted and went, out into
the woodshed. She thought her
mamma was naughty to want her to
give one of her kittens to Mary. She
put them both into her apron and
carried them upstairs to her play
room. Sho told them they should
live with her forever and ever, and
she did not care whether Mary had
any cats or not. Sho tried to have a
good time with them, but somehow
she could not enjoy herself very well.
She kept th inking of poor little. Mary,
who did not have many playthings.
Pretty soon she hoard a noise. It
come from the hack yard, and she ran
to the window to see what caused it.
She saw n big dog chasing her dear
Mrs. Muff, and a bad boy was
clapping his hands to make
tho dog run faster. Flossie
begun to cry. She thought Mrs. Muff
would be killed, and she loved her
more than any of her pets. She put.
her head out of the window and culled
to the boy to take his dog home. She
called to her mamma, and her nurse,
but no one heard hor, ami tho dog was
getting very close to Mrs. Muff. She
cried louder than ever. Just" then a
little girl came along and caught Mrs.
Muff in her arms, and stamped hor
foot at the dog and made him go
away. The little girl was Mary. Flos
sie stopped crying and called hor:
“Ob, you sweet Mary! You’ve
saved Mrs. Muff’s life, and I love you!
Come in Mary, and take tho kitten
you like best. You may keep it for
J' our own ''
Mary came and took Jetty, and
Flossie did not say a word, although
she, too, liked Jetty best.
Mamma gave Flossie a great many
kisses when she heard about it, and
Flossie was happy.—[The Shining
Hour.
Artificial agates are now made by so
many different and effective processes
that the stone has lost much of its
value M a gem,
NO. 19.
W. R. TYLER,
DENTIST,
BARNES VILLE, GEORGIA.
A MODERN T.YMHJ*
It j-ow ooubl only always know
When the door-bell rlugp.
Just who It is that stands below,
Making tho door-bell jingle si.
Quite frequently you wouldn'i ifi
Wheu the door-bell rings.
It isn't sure to be a friend.
When the door-bell rings
It may be "Umbrellas to mend?
Or some one witii line si ex’" tu vend.
Whose flow of language has (.lid
Wheh the door-bell rings.
Jl's always at your busiest time.
When the door-bell rings.
Your hands may be arc bl*'-k ’.ritii grime i
lu such a ease your language I’m
Quito sure I’d never put iu rhyme,
When the door-bell rings.
But to the door you always g
When tho door-bell rings.
You see, you'ro curious to kuo .v
Just who is on tile portico,
And so outsiders get a show
When the door-bell rings
—Soniervfilu Journal.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Cut rates—Surgeons’ fees. Truth.
The good haokmnn is known by Ins
carriage. —Florida Times-Union.
A kiss is a song that should always
he encored.—Florida. Times-Uuiott.
Ringing a belle—Putting ft nos*,
ornament on a Kafir woman. -—Hallo.
The pawnbroker never gets so old
that he takes no interest in life.—Bo.-.
ton Transnriiit do not their . .
Some people they recognize meet them.-
obligations when
Talveston News.
No, my son ; a doctor iloesn t know
everything ; but he thinks you think
lie docs.—Punch.
People who think before they speak
always manage to economize on talk.
—AVbuikiugton Post.
When some people want counsel
they proceed to consult their own in
terests. —Galveston News.
Motto for the Shopping Fiend; “If
you see what, you want, price a dozen
other things before asking for it.”—
Puck.
A man breathes, on an average, ter
thousand quarts of air n day—and
talks about, 1,000,009. —Augusta 'La.)
Chronicle.
The woman who into can it has pass the a iieroism mirror
without looking made. FlbncUi
of whioh martyrs are —
Times-Union.
A local dealer advertises “a new
stock of walking-sticks for gentlemen Phila
with carved wooden heads.
delphia Record.
Mrs. Shopper— “Why, ali these toys
are old.” Shopkeeper -“Yes, madam,
but then you know most, of the babies
are new.”—Vogue.
An ounce of prevention is worth 8
pound of cure, that is to say, the
druggist is likely to charge just y
much for it.—Puck,
Wheu a man claims that grip is only
a vagary of a deserted brain, it is
pretty safe to bet he has never had it.
—Philadelphia Record.
A Chicago man who had just sur
rendered his watch to a foot pad, waa
moved to remark that- he. didu t know
when he had been so pressed for time,
—Washington Star.
The doctrine of heredity is a com
foiling theory. It is so pleasant, you and
know, to he able to lay our faults
foolishnesses on our forefather a—
Boston Transcript
Traveler in Missouri—“I want to
find tile conductor. Who lias charge
of this train?” Trainman—“Can’t tell
till after we pass fin* next strip o’
woods. ’’—Cleveland Plaindcaler.
“Do you believe that practice al
ways makes perfect?” “No ; it hasn’t
made anything but a row ever since
that idiot upstairs commenced with
his flute.”—Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Byers—“What was your idea in
getting vaccinated on your rheumatic
arm?" Seller--“Economy of pain. It.
couldn’t make the arm hurt worse thau
it, did already.”—Chicago Tribune.
Charlie Sniffers (out with Dollio
Dimple) —“Pardon me for bowing to
That shabby old codger, but I fee! ob
liged to do it.” Dollio — “Who is he,
Charlie?” Charlie—“He in the head'
of our firm.”—Spire -Moments.
Nell—“How do you know she is in
love with Jack?” Belle—“Because
she told me he was peerfeetly horrid,
snd if she were in my place she
wouldn't have anything to do with
him. ”•—Philadelphia Record.
Footman—“Say, Jee/us, what would
jWe do if wo found a pooketbook with
820,000 that tie boss had left in the
carriage?" Coachman “Do? Wo
wouldn’t do nothing at all. We’d live
on onr income.”—Texas Siftings.
Customer —“Why is it you charge
as much for a six-pound pig us you do
for a sixteen-pound pig?” Butcher—
“The smaller tho pig, mum, the worse
it hurts us to kill it. trot to charge
somethin’ fur our foolin’s, muni.”—
Chicago Tri hunt*.
Miss Scare—“Jack Marblehead gave
me a great reception yesterday. Ho
has a cannon on his yacht salutbof and when 1
came on board he fired a ever
so many gum*-forty-nine, I thn k if
■was.” Miss Somite “One for ev-v
year of your age, 1 suppose ." ~zZ>*4tuL'
Men should keep their eyes win.,
open beforo marriage and half shn:
afterward. .
Whiskey, in its relation to the hu
constitution, is unconstitutional,