Newspaper Page Text
The Pike County Journal.
VOL. VI.
JUSTICE COURTS.
ZEBULON
W M Hartley I P
C F Redding N P
Fourth Saturday
EPPiNGER
8 8 Barrett J 1*
First Saturday
HOLLONVILLB
J W Dunbar J P
s N P
First Saturday
DRIVER
W J Coggin, Justice
J P Baker, Notary
Second Saturday
•VEANSVILLE
C L Butler. Justice
R W McGiuty, Notary
Fourth Friday
CONCORD
J T Beckham, Justice
Robl H McLendon, Notary
Third Saturday
SECOND
Robt J R Sykes, McLeroy, Notary Justice
Third Saturday
PIEDMONT
T M Alien, Justice
J L Butaev, Notary
Fourth Saturday
MOLENA
G E B M Blount, Eppinger, Jusiioe Notary
Third Friday
BARNESVILLLE
R L Merritt, Justice
G E Huglev, Notary
Third Thursday
MILNER
P G Moere, Justice
J E Gardner, Notary
Fourth Mi,miry
ZEBULON, GA.
z –EEt£"u Pike rior is EBU ion Hanked nttrartieiis and LON county, hospitable on is situated all ami h# i.'tKS for sides with the people in by its home-seeker. Pike gently healthful it offers county J?.Um sloping loca. ant, SI If
ids and fertile valleys. Here is found every
variety of soil and scenery. One of tlie hobbles
Df tne town is its moat excellent school. Th$
Atlanta ami Florida railroad, since its complo
iton to Fort Valley, has had the effect of
ing new life into the old ride town, of and Atlanta, places u*
within about an hour’s
capital Barneaviile, of the state. Milner Concord and Molena are
hrlving and pretenv.ous towns—the two
uO .n Tr
road-anwwataraed by a proBiwrows and pro
gross!ve people. It is an instance of the “sur.
rival of the fittest” that ZEBULON should
ihosea as the county site for this large an<J
*
prosperous county. location The Pikf
From this central
County Jou i n m i is issued weekly and read
by more titan 5.000 people. Ii is the recognized naturally
touaty paper and to it all the questions people of loca]
look for information on
interest. special . advantage*
Inquiries with reference to at»
of the tow a or county will receive prompt
Mention if addressed to thi s paper.
PROFESSIONAL, CARDS.
S. N. WOODWARD
itlorney at D aw,
BARNESVfLLE. - - - GA.
E. F. DUPREE,
Attorney at Luw,
ZEBULON. GA.
Will practice in alHhe courts. Tramp
attention given to all business en
trusted to him.
J. If. PHILLIPS *
Physician and Surgeon,
ZEBULON, - GEORGIA.
(Next door to./tul^o Dupree.)
G. M. M’DOWEDD, J. C. IIOOTEN.
McDOWELL k IIOOTEN
Physicians and Surgeons,
MOLENA, GEORGIA.
DIL II. J. OAKLAND.
DENTIST,
GRIFFIN, GEORGIA.
Office over Griffin Bunking Company.
Teeth smoothly and permanently
filled or extracted without pain.
E. w. HAMMOND. I.. CLEVELAND.
HAWimOND – CLEVELAND,
Attorneys at Law,
GRIFFIN, GEORGIA.
W. K. TILER,
DENTIST,
BARNE8V1LLE, GEORGIA
D C BECKHAM,
Practical IFatchmaker and Jeweler.
Wi
Ai the Well of Love.
She hastened to the well of love,
Ah, bu$ the morn was sweet!
Bird and blossom and sun anti dew
Waking together and life was new,
Wild was her heart as her flying feet
Bped to the well of love.
Quickly she knelt by the mossy stone,
Ah, but the morn was fair!
With trembling fingers she plunged the cup,
Blithe was her heart as she drew it up,
Eager her lips as she poised it there,
Deeming it all her own.
She snatched it close in a sudden tear,
Ah, but the day was bright!
There at her feet a loathly dame
Cried, **1 am Duty! The first claim.
Ho! lam perishing-all the night
Do I plead, with none to hoar.''
Sadly she knelt by the withered crone,
Ah, but the sun was clear!
Bright were her tears on the mossy stone
As she yielded the enp she had thought her
own.
Only one sip twas an angel there—
And the loathly dame was gone.
—ilAuv 51. Scott in Detroit Fcfle Dress.
HER HUMBLE SERVANT.
\V, KAIBD CLOWES.
How Captain Bellamy’s life was
saved at Tsi-Chau has uevcv yet boon
tohl.
Every officer and man who belonged
to the Chrysolite on that disastrous
night reccdlects, of course, that, while
endeavoring in tlm darkness to storm
the fort, the captain fell, and that
when our people were driven hack
headlong to the boats he, with many
others, was missing. Every one re
members also that, when, on the fol
lowing morning the Chinamen tvere
shelled out of the place and the blue
jackets and marines again landed,
Captain Bellamy was found lying, not
where he had fallen, but a couple of
hundred J yards to the right, ° sheltered
on the side of the enemy by ‘ a thick
stone wall. His left log was smashed
at the knee byajingal ball, but around
11 v.; s thicrli ® w as a bluejacket’s silk hand
kerchief, neatly applied in such a way
that nickel tobacco-box , placed , , , be
a
neath it efiectwely compressed the
fenioral artery and stopped the
bleeding. It was well known
both box and handkerchief
bad belonged to James Larch,
, , . . .
the Captain s coxwaui, w hose (lead
body, w ith ... , half a dozen , bullets , ,, . through ,
it, was found on the enemy’s side of
the same wall. Capt. Bellamy himself
acknowledged from the first that he
owed his life solely to Larch's devo
tion and skill, Yet the whole story
has never yet been told. Capt. Bella
my’s recent death puts me iu posses
sion of his private journal, and so en
ables me to tell the tale.
When the Chrysolite was commis
sioned at Portsmouth for the China
Station Capt.. Bellamy took a house at
Hong Kong, and iu due course Mrs,
Bellamy and her only daughter, Violet.,
followed him thither. In the second
year of the commission tire Chrysolite
was at Ilong Kong for several succes
sive months, and during that period
the ladies came on hoard nearly every
day. There were picnics on shore and
water parties afloat, and, if not in the
Chrysolite, then in the house, or in the
boats or on the various expedi
tions, James Larch, the Captain’s
coxswain was in continual attendance
upon Miss Violet and her mother.
Violet Bellamy was then barely 18. In
England she had led a somewhat dull
life, and at Hong Kong she lost no
time in redressing the balance of her
existence, which was by no means dull
there. If was not, perhaps, her fault
that every officer of the garrison and
of the squadron was either in love
with her or was prepared to be, for
she gave no special encouragement to
any one. On the other hand, she dis
couraged no one. The larger number
of her admirers the greater was the
enjoyment which she derived from the
situatiou. Among them she was like
a child in a room full of toys, Borne
she damaged, some she smashed iire
trievably, but without the slightest
malice or wickedness. She simply
had never realized the powers and re
sponsibilities of a pretty face and fig
ure, supplemented hv high spirits, un
tiring activity and abundant health,
and although she spread ruin around
her, she never for an instant intended
to do harm to anybody. There were
many who suffered. Commander Cor
coran, of the flagship; Major Brown
leigh, of the Royal Bucks; Staff-Sur
geon Bennett, of the Bridport; Lieut.
Maplin, in command of the* Borer,
and at least half a dozen sub-lieuten
ants and midshipmen, besides army
subalterns and civilians, were turned
upside dowu by Violet Bellamy. And
if these, who only encountered her at
social functions, were so seriously up
set, it is little to be wondered at—
when we recollect that human nature
is not confined to the classes—that
James Larch was also overbalanced.
Hisy**soeiations w ith her were, though
ZEBULON, PIKE CO.. GA., FRIDAY, M ARCH SO, 18114.
iu one sense moro distant and mors
purely conventional than tlioso of any
gentleman in the colony, of a priv
ileged character. He helped her to
mount when she went for a ride; he
wrapped her cloak around her when
she left the ballroom, lie carried her a
huudved times from the ship’s boot to
the shore, or vieo versa, lest she might
wet her feet. Her breath had fanned
his face, her light form had rested in
his arms, and while lie, never by word
and seldeni even by look, betrayed his
feelings, lio nevertheless steadfastly,
and with all his being,worshipped her.
Larch was a young and smart petty
officer. As siuti he had a promising
career before him, and no doubt ho
would have been wise had he strictly
minded his own business and endeav
ored to be content with the sphere in
which it hud pleased Providence to
place him. But, like many of his bet
ters. ho went down before Violet Bel
laiiiv.
It was at the beginning of the third
year of tlio commission that the
Chrysolite was suddenly despatched to
Tsi-Chau. There had been a riot and
a massacre there,and Captain Bellamy
was ordered to teach the local nnui
diirins a severelesson.
One morning the Chrysolite arrived
oft' the plaee and seut in certain de
mands, which, unless complied with
in three hours, were to be enforced by
means of the resources of civilization.
The three hours elapsed, the de
mands were not granted, and with
absolute punctuality tlio Chrysolite
began to shell tlio fort from horti-iiicli
B. L. guns, The Chinamen laid low
and did not reply with so much as a
single shot. Misled by their silence
Capt. Bellamy, after dusk had fallen,
led ashore a much weaker landing
party than he would have employed
had lie anticipated resistance, Not
until the men had tumbled out of the
boats did the enemy open fire, and
then the Captain knew he had made ft
mistake. He still hoped he iqi'
avert disaster by rushing to the fort, a -
ho made the attempt, but, ns has been
already shown, he failed and fell. His
men surged past him for a few yards,
but were then repulsed and driven
back pellmoll. Tn tlio ooni'uoiuu aild
darkness they missed him, and lie was
left lying, with his left knee mangled,
to bleed to death or to get a speedier
quietus from one of the many bullets
that were whistling after the retreat
ing bluejackets.
It is astonishing that he escaped be
ing hit a second time, for not on y
were tlie Chinamen firing with rifles
from the fort, but the men in the
boats were using their machine guns.
In five minutes, though, the worst of
the storm had passed away, and, with
the lull, Capt. Bellamy saw a dark fig
ure slowly drawing near him from the
right. He fully expected to find that
his visitor was one of the enemy armed
with a mission to put an end to him,
or, perhaps, to drag him into the
fort, where death might be adminis
tered a little at a time, and, though a
bravo man, ho was much relieved
when lie was able to distinguish that
the newcomer was ono of his own
people.
“Beg pardon, sir, I hoped it was
you,” whispered a voice, which the
i 'aptain at once recognized as that of
his coxswain.
“Hoped!” growled the Captain.
“Wliat do you mean by hoping, you
scoundrel. Here I am with iny knee
smashed, bleeding to death.”
“Had news for Miss Violet,” mut
tereil Larch.
“Confound Miss Violet, and you,
too! Bear a hand here and pull me
out of this, if yon can. The beggars
will be blazing away again in a min
ute.”
“Mustn’t move you, sir,till I’ve tied
up your leg,” said Lurch, who hail al
|. n dy taken off his handkerchief and
was satisfying himself as to tlie posi
tion of the wound and the quantity of
blood that was being lost, “It’s that
big artery on the inside of your leg,
sir, that’s got to be attended to. II
you won’t mind my using my ’bacey
box and my handkerchief—so—now
I’ll twist it close. ”
“Hang it! you’re twisting my leg
leg off)” cried the Captain.
“Never mind,sir, "said Larch. ‘‘I’ve
stopped the—”
At that moment the Chinese in the
fort opened fire again.
“What the dickens is the matter
with you, Larch?” asked the Captain.
For an instant the coxswain, who
had drawn back with a shudder, was
silent. When he spoke it was with an
altered voice. ‘‘They’ve hit me, sir,
I think,” he said.
“Then run, man, and take shelter,”
urged the Captain. “I’m ail safe now
for an hour or two, if they don’t come
out to look for me.”
“There’s a xvall a little to the right,
sir,” said the coxswain, who paid no
attention to his chief’s orders, “and I
think I can get /ou behind it if you
can drag yourself ou to my back as I
crawl. Only, don't disturb tlio band
age, sir.”
Cnpt. Bellamy, with a great effort,
managed by degrees to work himself
on to the man’sbaokandtoelaspLarch
round the nock. “I hope, Larch, that
you're not risking too much, but if wo
get through this there’ll be a Victoria
Gross for you as certainly as there’ll bo
a wooden leg for rue.”
“Beg pardon, sir,” muttered Larch,
who was now crawling slowly with his
burden towards the wail, “but 1 don’t
want any Victoria Cross. Would they
promote me, do yon think, sir?”
“I don’t doubt ii, Larch; you’ll got
your warrant. ”
The coxswain slopped suddenly.
“What's the matter?" cried the Cap
tain.
Larch resumed his laborious crawl.
“I was only thinking,” ho explained.
“Won’t you bo wiser to defor your
thinking until wo art* under the lea of
that, wall?” growled the Captain. “If
those fellows fire any more we’re done
for. ”
The coxswain made no reply, but
dragged himself on, yard by yard, un
til at length he gently deposited his
load behind the thick stouo shelter.
As lie made a motion as if to return
whence ho had come, the Captain
cried: “Stay in here, you idiot;where
the dickens nro you going to?”
Larch sank down by the Captain’s
side. “Beg pardon, sir,” he said, af
ter a pause, “but may I speak my
mind out to you just for this once as
between man nnd man?”
“Certainly you may,” replied the
Captain, somewhat astonished at the
question.
Having got permission. Larch
neither hesitated nor attempted to re
strain himself. His confession came
with a rush, ‘I’ve been a fool, ” he
said “I knew it nil along, only I
wouldn’t see it. I’ve had mad dreams
of promotion, not to a warrant only,
but to a commission. I’ve thought of
nothing but her. I've kissed the
earth she lias trodden ' upon. I’ve
hoped, I’ve prayed. Look in that
’baccy box when they take off your
bandage and you’ll find a bit of her
hair that I begged from her maid.
Yet I know quite well that it can't be.
For her sake, I wouldn’t Bavo it to be
if it could be. And there’s only one
end to it. Bhe mustn’t know; but I
can tell you, sir, that, though you aro
my captain, it wasn’t for that that I
went out to look for you to-night. It
was because you are her father—Miss
Violet’s -and may God bless her and
forgive me!”
He staggered to his feet, and, with
out another word bent his head and
dashed towards the fort, firing his re*
volver wildly as he went.
The enemy answered with a volley,
and the Captain heard the coxswain
fail on the other side of the wall.—
[London Bketeh.
A Water Bicycle.
At first, sight a water bicycle would
seem a difficult thing to construct, but
really it is very simple. Take two
cylindrical air floats, and, placing
them parallel with each other, fasten
them together at t>. suitable distance
apart. Here you have a raft. Now
suspend the frame of the bicycle be
tween the two, so that, the front wheel
will pass into the water to the depth
of two or three inches. This forms
the steering apparatus. Now fix to
the spokes of the rear wheel, cross
pieces of wood precisely as the wheel
of a side-wheeled steamer is con
structed, and the propelling power is
gained. The whole is capable of great
improvement, for as now the ordinary
bicycle is applied to the float, special
and much cheaper forms could bo got
up, nnd also more of an advantage
could be hail iu the economy of power.
I ndeed, one would have to go but a
few steps further, and attach the twin
screw propeller to the aquatic novelty
to produced desired results. As it
now stands, tlio scope of tlie idea is
limited to still water, the slightness of
the affair making it, dangerous in its
application to waters in any way tur
bulent.—[Hardware.
Fighting Before Figuring.
During Greene’s campaign of 1781
in the Carolinas, a staff officer re
ported one day that the British were
advancing to attack the colonists.
“Hhall I send out s,couts to recon
uoiter and report how many men the
enemy has?” the general’s informant
added. «
“No,” saiil Greene. “We’ll count
’em after we’ve beaten ’em.”—[Mnn
sey’s Magazine.
Well Pleased.
“Are you pleased with your dangh
Uir’s progress in music? ’
“Oil, yes / she forgets to practice
half |he time. 1 '
WESTHRN Y'OLYKS.
Despite Bounties for Scalps Their
Ravages Increase,
Hard Work to Keep Them From
the Cattle Ranges.
“Out in our country the state and
county governments have to put their
bauds in their pockets pretty deep to
pay bounties for the killing off of
wild varmints," said a Colorado ranch
man at the Hoffman House in Now
York to a Sun man. “With all we civu
do to thin out the pests it's hard work
to keeji any of our sheep mid young
stock alive. Instead of getting fewer
with the building of cities and rail
roads and the opening up of ranches
the country over, the wolves and co
yotes seem to increase iu numbers.
They’re certainly bolder. In tlm old
plain days, when the buffaloes went in
big herds, with the bulls always on
guard, the varmints had to fight
for every buffalo calf they pulled
down, and as for the wild horses,
they kept together and could earo for
themselves so well that wolves didn’t
liko to venture near them. But the
tame stock that now feed on the
ranges givo the prowling sneaks jEct a
picnic. The cows and bulls are scat
tered everywhere over the country,
alone or in little bands. Being graded
stock they’re not fighters, anyway,
like the buffaloes and old-style wild
Texas cattle, and they don’t combine
for protection, The result is tlie
wolves can got at a calf or colt any
time by tile mere going for it, and
now they’ve got so bold that they’ll
combine to pull down lone cattle; and
that isn’t the worst, for they kill not
only what they want to eat, but a
great many out. of pure wantonness.
“But this ill wind has blown good to
one class of men, and ‘old-timers’ that
have been hanging about doing odd
jobs at herding and teaming, and a
good deai of waiting round barrooms
ever since the buffaloes went, have
scoured the rust off' the old guns and
gone a-hunting and trapping. With
the offering of big bounties for the
Killing or nil predatory wild beasts,
men have turned again to follow the
business of trappers and hunters.
Not only the old follows that disputed
with the Indians for buffaloes and pel
tries, but young men and Mexicans
! have taken to tlie following of a hun
ter's life. What with traps and poi
son and cold lead, you’d think there
wouldn’t be a varmint left alive, but if
you watch out, you’ll see that most of
them don’t como back with any con
siderable amount of hides and wolf
scalps. Now, and then, when busi
ness is dull, the ranchmen get up a
ftreat hunt, taking in whole townships ;
Aportmen come from the towns with
.dogs, and they circle wide and draw
together, to find that every wolf in
side the circle lias passed by or slipped
unseen through the lines of boaters,
( < It’s when a man makes a busmens
of hunting on his own hook and lays
out liis plans to beat them at their own
game that lie docs something toward
capturing the vormints. But it’s a
trick to fool them, and no green hand
or man who isn’t naturally a hunter
has any business to lay. It’s harder
to entice the creatures now than it
used to be, for when they can get live
stock everywhere for the killingthey’re
mighty apt to sniff and turn up their
noses as a bait. But there ore some
that know liow to tempt them, and get
them, too. I was down across tlio
New Mexico line not long ago, at a
little country town, when a Mexican
called Miguel—Miguel Tixier was his
full name—brought in 12 wolf scalps
and skins to be inspected by the county
commissioners in order to get the
bounties. Between county and terri
torial counties ho expected to realize
over $500 on the lot—-not a bad show
ing for a Mexican’s three months
work, when you consider that lie had
the profits to look to from the sale of
the skins besides. - He had mostly
caught tlio animals ill traps, and his
pile of peltries included not only wolf
skins, but the skins of lynxes, coyotes,
wildcats, skunks, and foxes, all of
which command good prices with the
fur buyers.”
The Fatalistic Chinaman.
“Six months ago I was travelling in
Arizona iu a coach,” said a tourist.
“The temperature was a hundred and
something in the shade, and a hundred
odd inside the coach, which rivalled its
fellows for stuffiness and discomfort.
There wasn’t a vacant inch of space,
and as two of the passengers were Chi
namen on their way to some town
where they had heard that there was a
vacancy in the laundry business, tlie
condition of affairs was abominable.
We. that is, the English-speaking pas
sengers, fretted and fumed, and looked
at uuv watches about every Jive
minutes. At last we stopped to
change horses at a little town where
two white men were waiting to join
the coach, As there wasn’t a space
left for a child, 1 supposed they
would have to wait (ill the next, day;
but they didn’t. The two Chinamen
wore forcibly ejected, and despite
their chattering anil evident protests,
their seats wore occupied by the new
comers, and we continued our weaii
Bome sweat-box journey. No one but
myself was iu the least way discon
certed at what appeared to be a most
unwarranted outrage, especially as
the Chinese had paid their fares to the
place they had beau reckless enough
to desire to go to, and there was no
suggestion of a refund or rebate.
“On the return trip a few days
later I had the curiosity to inquire
wliat lmd become of the evicted China
men, and found, to my surprise, that
they lmd accepted the situation phil
osophically, hud started a laundry in
the town they were thrown into, and
were doing a fair business. Whatever
may lie tlie defects in the Chinese, and
they are many, I doubt whether the
members of any other nationality
would have regarded an outrage of
that character as the finger of destiny
and fallen in with decrees of fate so
peacefully. ”—[St. Louis Globe-Demo
crat.
A Coat Lined with Opals.
Most people consider that the pos
session of an opal is sure to bring ill
luck to its owner. If there is any
truth in ibis superstition, wliat must
be the fato of a person who has nearly
a thousand opals in the lining of his
coat? That was the outfit of Honor
I’rosfero de la Sota, a Mexican, wlin
in company with another man was
arrested and thrown into prison a few
days ago at Ei I’aso, Tex. It should
be remarked, however that Honor do
la Hota and his companion were en
gaged iu the act of smuggling the
opals into this country, and that his
arrest was due to this fact alone. He
was ou iiis way to the California Mid
winter Fair, where he expected to dis
pose of the stones at a good profit.
Senor do la Hot® is the owner of an
extensive opal mine in Mexico, and
had n lino display of Mexican opals at
the World’s Faiv. At the close .of the
Fair he visited New York, bringing
with him a large number of handsome
opals, which he offered for sale to
dealers and others at prices that were
remarkably low, considering the sizo
arid beauty of the stones. He made
very few sales, however, and an
nounced before he left New York,
about a mouth ago, that ho had not
made money enough, either at the
Fair or in the city to pay his traveling
expenses and hotel bills. Senor de la
Hot a is closely connected with prom
inent Mexican officials and his arrest
on the charge of smuggling has caused
quite a sensation, both among his own
countrymen and among tlie large
number of his friends and acquain
tances iu the Mexican colony in New
York. — [New York Hun.
A Useful Paper Vest.
The man who in evening dress is
obliged to bo where there are drafts
exposes himself to constant illness.
The low-cut vest of evening dress gives
little protection to the chest, and
there seemed until now no way of pro
viding against the danger incurred
iu this way. An ingenious paper
manufacturer has now come to their
rescue, it is said, however, and a high
cut vest lias been made of soft, thick
paper, which is intended to bo worn
between the under and outer shirts.
It is said to be warmer, and particu
larly more draft-defying than any pos
sible amount of woolen. As it is not
bulky, it does not interfere with tlio
composed lay of the shirt front.
The vests have no buttons, being fast
ened by light tapes.—[Now Orleans
Picayune.
Hydrophobia Among Chickens.
According to undisputed report t
couple of hens at Hillsdale, N. J.,
were recently bitten by a mad dog.
No doubt they “got it in the neck,”
so that it is strange that their heads did
not como off; but you could not “pre
serve tlie utilities” in that way, and so
they lived to lay more eggs, although
this is not the laying season, and soon
after their recovery hydrophobia was
developed and they expired in agony,
as usual. The report does not say
plnmply that they “snarled and barked
like a dog,” but it insinuates the same
by describing them as “frothing at
tlio mouth and uttering unhenlike
sounds.” But for this it might be
thought that, the chickens had the pip;
hut tlio question now is, are those hy
drophobic eggs they laid?—[Brooklyn
Citizen.
A confiscated newspaper in the City
of Mexico has been donated to tlm
local orphan asylums.
NO. 21.
A Liilic Way.
A little way to walk with you, iny own—
Only a little way!
TIu'ii one of us must woop and walk I
Until God’s day.
A little way! it is so sweet lo 'live
Together, that I know
Life would not have one withered rose to
give
If one of us should go.
And if these lips should ever learn to smiff
Anil thy heart far from mine,
'Twoulil be for joy that in a little while
They would ho kissed bythlne!
—Fuank L. Stanton iu Atlanta Constitutlof
HUMOROUS.
You never realize how near an alarm
clock is till it “goes off.”
“His Honor is at steak,” said the
waiter when the Judge was at dinner.
The passion some women have for
attending auctions is a more-bid taste.
Bhe—Wliut a strong face that man
lias? He—Yes, it carries him every
where. ,
“Johnny, add seven apples to two
apples, and what will yon have?”
“Colie, sir.”
“Now, I want to give you a point,
said the doctor, as he prepared to jab
with his lancet.
Maud—Why do you call that ring a
war relic? Ethel—I won it in my
first engagement.
“Did the neighbors have any music
at their reception?” “We couldn t
tell for the singing.”
Tom—How old is your sister Ma
llei? Ne<l—Her count, do you mean,
or family Bible record?
“Docs your wife keep a cook al
ways?” “Jerusalem, no; two weeks
is generally the longest.”
The difference between a form and
a ceremony is that you sit oil the for
mer arid stand on the latter.
Mother—Johnny, why aren’t you
more polite? Johnnie—Iguossldou t
have to bo; there’s no company around
now.
“My husband is just lovely. 1ft
paid fifty- dollars for that little iiioa
key over there.” “That’s just- lik*
him.”
Briggs — Would you over tok<
Brushes for an artist just to look . of
him? Diggs—Not if I could get aw j
other.
Tom—I wonder why Nettie Gaya
screamed so loud when I kissed her.
Extreme modesty? Dick—No. Fores
of habit.
One piece of ice is called an icicle,
hut it it would not he correct to call
two pieces of ice an bicycle, or throe
pieces a tricycle.
When a man marries he fully in
tends to he No. One in the family, but
often the period drops out «ud he
lapses into no one.
Priscilla—A girl never marries her
first love, Prunella—No ; she’s
lucky, indeed, if she can marry her
twenty-firBt nowadays.
“I’m worried about my St. Bernard
dog.” “Why?” “He’s losing his
appetite.” “I’m worried about mine,
too.” “Why?” “He isn’t.”
“Yes, he’s a good man, but I saw
him stoop to a very small tiling at. the
church social.” ‘What was that?”
“Fishan oyster out of his soup.”
D’Auber—Don’t you admire that
painting, Miss F’Ashion? MissF’Ash
iou (promptly)—Not at all! Why, all
the colors in it are Just year’s styles.
A farmer in Colorado being unable
to write when receipting a bill used to
draw the sketch of a man with a rope
around his neck. This meant, settled.
Gentleman caller—Nobody at home,
eh? Perhaps I’d better leave my
name. Servant—Wo couldn’t use it,
sir. There are no marriageable ladies
in tlie family,
Flip—Did Miss Goldeoiu recogniz*
yon when you met. her in the parkl
Flap—Yes. “Did she bow or speak?”
“Neither one; that’s how I know slit
remembered me.
Jack—So you knew I loved you?
AJa—Yes, I have known it for soma
time. Jack—Ah, I presume your
womanly intuition told you? Ada—
No ; your sister Jennie.
Cholly—It— aw—may he ail wight,
you know, hut I—aw—find it doosed f
hard to believe that we are descended
from monkeys, Miss Smart (after
looking him over)—I don’t.
After the dinner at the cafe, Rnhbv
noticed with bulging eyes the heaping
pile of change which the waiter
brought back to his father, “Oh,
papal” ho exclaimed; “Oh, papal I’d
like a plate of that, too!”
■‘I’m a believer iu fate. I think
lives are lain out for us. ” “You
our
are wise to believe so.” “Ha! you J|j |
think I am?” ‘Yes. A man who
lives as you do is wise to shift the re
sponsibility for his actions on- io"V
something or somebody else,” JR
k