Newspaper Page Text
The Pike County Journal.
VOL. XI.
JUSTICE COURTS.
ZEBULON
W M Hartley ) P
0 F Redding N P
Fourth Saturday
EPPINGER
8 S Barrett J P
First Saturday
HOLLONVILLE
J W Dunbar J P
s N P
First Saturday
DRIVES
W J Coggin, Justice
J P Baker, Notary
Second Saturday
-1/EANSVtLLE
C L Butler Justice
R W McGinty, Notar i
Fourth Friday
CONCORD
J T Beckham, Justice
Rjbt HMcLendon, Notary
Third Saturday
SECOND
Robt McLer y, Justice
J R Sykes, Notaiy
Third Saturday
PIEDMONT
T M Allen, Justice
J L Bussey, Notary
Fourth Saturday
MOLENA
G B Rlonnt, Jus ice
E M Eppinger, Notary
Third Friday
BARNESVILLLE
R L Merritt, Justice
G E Huglev, Notary
Third Thursday
MILNER
P G Mocre. Jos:ice
J E Gardner, Notary
Fourth Monday
ZEBULON, GA,
z 19 EBULON the rior ts Pike ion rerv flanked state. attravUeinTfor a county, near on It the situated all and is sides geogranhlcal the with the'Umn'e-sccker. In seat by its Pike gently healthful of county justice centre sloping loca- 11 .no ^!! ol el
ills and fertile valleys. Hero is found every
variety of soil and scenery. One of the hobbies
jftne town is Its moat excellent school. Tin
Atlanta-nnd Florida railroad, since fnT its gSSt comjde
ISM! 1 ?)e n o?fl h
into 1 nd<! towm
*t°iheetate .° lir ' 8 A “ a " ta ’ lh '
name sviUe, Milne- Concord and Molcna^nre
Sri vine ig and pretenuous toi wns—the
.n the t eastern portion of the county ami the two
.att er m t he western portion. There are ahull
lozen othoir town* in the county of much local
importance, besides sixt v-three milea of rail
rop.ri—all sustained by a prosperous and pro
Meld’S
prosperousooimty?^ 6ite f ° r tM9 large
From this central location Tlie Ftk*
I'otiut.y Journal is issued weekly and read
py more; than 5.000 people. Ii is the recognized
jounty paper nnd to it the people naturally
took for information on all questions of locai
Inquiries with reference to special advantages
of the town or county will rcceiv prompt at
tendon if addressed to this paper.
■—
PROFESSIONAL cards.
—
S. N. WOODWARD
it t o r n e v at I. am,
BARNESVILLE. - - - GA.
E. F. DUPREE,
Attorney at Law,
ZEBULON. GA.
iVill practice in all the courts. Trump
attention given to all business cn
trusted to him.
J. ii. PHILLIES,
Physician and Surgeon
ZEBULON, - GEORGIA.
(Next door to Judge Dupree.)
G. m. m’doweil, J. C. IlOOTEN
McDowell – iiooten.
Physicians and Surgeons,
MOLENA, GEORGIA.
DK. 11. J. OAKLAND,
—den ns r,
Griffin, G-ooriia.
Ofiiee over Griffin Banking Co. this
administered and teeth extracted with
out pain. Very Respectfully,
H. J. Garland.
E. W. HAMMOND. I.. CLEVELAND.
HAMMOND – CLEVELAND,
Attorneys at Law,
GRIFFIN, GEORGLY.
W. Ii. TYLER ,
DENTIST,
BARNESVILLE, GEORGIA
D C BECKHAM,
Practical Watchmaker and Jeweler.
f
What Time Is HI
What time is it?
Time to (lo well—
Time to live better;
Give up that grudge;
Answer that letter:
Speaking that kind word to sweeten a sorrow,
Do that good deed you would leave ’till to
morrow.
YYliat line is It t
Times to be earnest,
Laying up treasure;
Time to be thoughtful,
Choosing true pleasure;
Loving stern justice—of truth being fond—
Making your word just as good ns your bond.
—Sow York Observer.
“Detectives Wanted,”
Sho came.into the office of the chief,
Barry Lawrence, with a frightened
look iu her big brown eyes, reaching
out a trembling hand ns she appoached
tho detective, in which was held a
morning paper.
“I came in answer to this, sir,” and
Barry Lawrence took the paper, as
with half-closed eyes he looked at tho
girl narrowly, and after a close scru
tiny tho eyes fell upon the sheet be
fore him to a few printed lilies, where
the long slender finger of the girl
pointed.
‘ ‘That is intended for men, ” said the
chief, as he arose to his feet.
“But you didn’t specify, sir.” The
gill’s voice trembled, and there was a
world of appeal in the big brown
eyes.
“That is understood,” he said, and
resumed his cigar.
“You want detectives, sir.” Her
hands were tightly clinched now* aud
tho chief noticed how cold and blue
they looked and how wan und pitiful
the white r ° nn « ^ olothiB «’
-
too, looked verv poor, *
*
“COme to . tho , fire, ,, , he said, . , , Kinull . ,,
,
nud knocking the ashes from his ci
gar> handed the girl a chair.
“What is it you want to do 1” Law
stirred - tlie , ,, . briskly. . , ,
ronco lire
The girl cleared her voice and looked
more hopeful.
“Why, anything that you have to
do, sir. Sho paused and caught her
breath Uftrit and continued . “I must
:
. llftV© work, . and . r L not . fctrong ouougb *
lUU
to do hard work, and I have never
bceu taught to do anything in partic
ular, and I haven’t much ol an oduca
tioi). ”
“Can you read and write?” the chief
asked,
“Oh, yes, sir; anybody can do
that,” naively, “But I speak of an
education; that means a good deal
more than that. ” She spoke eagerly
and with tho sound of longing in her
voice.
“Now, what is your name and where
do you live?”
“Margaret Lee,” tho girl answered.
“I live at No. 251 Melon street. ■
liavo lived in the city all my life. I
was born here.”
“Parents living?”
“My mother, sir, ami I have several
small sisters and brothers.”
“What put the idea into your head
of being a detective?”
The chief was apparently becoming
deeply interested, and the frightened
look loft the girl’s faco and a faint
color crept into her pale checks.
“I’ve seen things at different times
in houses whore I’ve worked and in
stores where tbiogs aro missing, nnd
I often found out who did the wrong
aud made the trouble when no one
else could, but I never told. It
wouldn't have done any good. And
when I was looking over tho paper
this morning for work and saw your
advertisement I thought I would
answer it.”
“Hem! IIow old arc you?” asked
Barry.
1 *T went-three.”
“Are yon timid?”
“I am not afraid of most things,
but I feel a little afraid of you, sir.”
The chief laughed heartily now;.
“Well, I’ll tell you,” he said. “T
haye some work I believe that you.can
do; at least I’ll try you. There is a
good deal of stealing going on at Pot
ter’s, on Fourth street, and so far
they haven’t been able to fasten it on
any one.
“You go down there to-morrow
morning and apply for a position. I’ll
give them a tip meanwhile and you
will get the place.
“Now, I am not going to give yon a
single direction. If you arc a detec
tive you know what to do. Others’
are coming in now. Good morning,’
and a few moments later Margaret Lee
found herself hastening homeward
with a lightened heart.
The next morning she took her
place in the great wholesale house very
quietly after a few moments’ conver
sation with one of the proprietors,
performing apparently the same duties
as some of the other girls.
• ‘It’s all nonsense—she won’t amount
to anything,” said the senior partner
to Chief Lawrence ee the latter strolled
ZEBULON, PIKE CO.. GA., FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 1894.
lazily into the house a few hours later.
“I wish you had put on a man. Men
are sharper."
“I’veput on several men,” Lawrence
answered, “and so far they have
amounted to nothing. You say this
stealing has been going on systemat
ical ]y for a long time. You’ve watched
I’ve watched, and my men liavo been
on guard, and yet we are all as much
in tho dark as ever, It is no harm to
give this girl a trial. I promise you
it shall not be a long one. ”
It, was the fourth day of Margaret
Lee’s trial when a sharp, decisive ring
at the telephone in his oflioo made
Barry Lawrence sprang to his feet with
a bound.
In a few moments more he stood in
the private otlieo of Potter – Co’s
wholesale house, where the senior and
junior partners and Margaret Lee were
congregated.
Mr. Potter the senior partner, was
greatly agitated, and was pacing the
floor excitedly to and fro. Tho junior
partner sat in a big chair behind the
desk ami looking severely at Margaret
Lee, who stood in the centre of the
room, very pale, but very erect and
dignified, with hor slender hands
clasped before her.
Tho senior partner whirled around,
hurriedly looked the door, and with
out looking at Margaret, snapped his
finger in her direction.
“That girl aceusos my forewoman,
a lady who has been with us for tivo
years, with being the miscreant. It’s
a lie—I”—he stamped his foot and
grew very red in the faco.
“But, sir,” interrupted the ehiei,
“let mo hoar Miss Lee’s reasons.”
“1 want her to clear out. Why,
Miss Ray,” naming tho forewoman,
“is tho soul of honor.”
Margaret smiled against her will.
“She is certainly tho thief,” she
said to the detective.
“Can you prove it?” asked Barry
kindly, feeling that Miss Lee spoke
the truth.
“Yes, sir, without a doubt.”
“That is all we want.” He turned
to the junior partner.
“We don’t want her proofs,” said
that gentleman, sarcastically.
“But you must have them and I
must have them. That is business, not
sentiment. Miss Lee,” turning to
Margaret with a great deal of respect;
“when can we have the proofs?”
“Tho best time is just after the clos
ing hour, or rather after every one is
supposed to have gone home for the
night. Manage to secret yourself near
the toilet room, and you, also,” to hex
employers, “and I will prove my
words true.”
“Bah!" exclaimed the senior part
ner. “It will probably bo a put up
job.” hardly Mr. Potter,”
“You are just,
said the chief, mildlv,
“Hem, hem, ugh! ” granted Mr. Pot
ter. Ho was almost in lovo with his
forelady, with her handsome faco and
her stylish iiguro.
There was I lie usual bustle and chat
ter at closing time, and ono after tho
other girls and women, men and boys
departed, Margaret among them. But
in tho dimly lighted hall sho easily es
caped notice and quietly returned.
No one saw her enter savothc chief,
Barry Lawrence, who whs concealed
behind a stack of boxes and goods.
Mr. Potter, tho senior partner, had
gone off in a hurry, but the junior
partner remained, and he also was
deftly hidden away, but his sharp eyes
looked from a loophole and saw all.
A form paused a moment and then
glided to a sewing machine in the cen
ter of the room, and stopping, struck
a match softly upon the floor, and as
it flared up the face of a woman bend
ing over it was plainly visable. The
woman was Miss Raj-.
The match soon died out, but it
gave sufficient light for an instant for
her to reach out and draw some boxes
toward her, and then she removed the
lids and began removing pieces of
goods, silk and velvet.
The watchers could not see just
what she took, but they heard the rus
tle of the silk and paper, and felt
rather than saw her take a stout cord
from her pocket, and after seemingly
folding the goods into as small a com
pass as possible, she arose to her feet,
then lifting her dress skirt, tied the
across which she hung the
various pieces of goods around her
waist.
Softly shaking out her skirts, she
then quietly unlocked tho door and
left the room. Margaret, trembling
and breathless, came forward from her
place of concealment just as Barry
Lawrence lit the gas aud turned it
down low, and seeing her approach, he
took off his hat and bowed.
‘ ‘Y’ou are a jewel, ” he exclaimed, heart
ily. “How did you find this out?”
“I beg your pardon, Miss Lee,” and
the junior partner, who had drawn
near, extended his hand.
“It is granted, sir,” she said, then
turning to Barry.
“Oh, I just watched; I frequently
saw Miss Ik folding nud putting things
away in what seemed to me a mysteri
ous and unusual manner that at once
awakened my suspicions. I knew sho
could have no opportunity of taking
these things away in t he daytime, and
so for several nights 1 have remained
here to find out. Two nights I ro
maiued here all night.”
“Remained hero alone?” ejaculated
the junior partner in surprise.
“Certainly, sir.”
“And you weren’t afraid?” asked
the chief jocularly.
“Well, no; blit I’ll acknowledge it
was very cold anil lonely,” answered
Margaret.
Barry Lawrence smiled
“You,U do,” ho said setttontiously.
The junior partner rubbed his
bands.
“Father will have to be convinced
with his own eyes, for he’ll not be
lieve even me, so we will do nothing
further until I have seen him.”
A few nights later tho senior part
ner was fully convinced, and iu a very
quiet manner sent for his fore-lady to
come to his private office, where ho
plainly preferred his charges and dis
missed her.
At first she appeared very indignant
and stoutly denied it, but when she
learned that he was a witness she
broke down aud confessed all,—[Short
Stories.
Red Indians as Archers.
An Indian boy begins to handle a
light bow when he toddles ; that means
at the age of four or five years, ITis
bow is taller than himself. He has a
habit of practising at anything around
his wigwam. By tho time ho attains
the age of twolve ho is permitted to
use sharp arrows. Such a Troy must
be strong at eighteen to use a man’s
bow. A white man, when ho takes an
Indian bow for tho first time, has all
he can do to beml it. I t takes a strong
man to do it, tint there is also a largo
amount of knack required. An In
dian bow is made straight; tho cord,
even- when in tension, almost touches
the bow. It is thick, and it some four
and a half to live feet, in length—tho
hunting bow is now spoken of—and
tho same has an extra stiffening by
having sinews pasted on it. Wo-shess
lias-ka, a member of tho Ogala Sioux
tribe—his name implies “Tho Long
Man;” he stands nearly seven foot
high, nnd is not unworthy his sobri
quet— has been known to kill an aute
lope at 125 measured yards.
Tho bow used iu warfare is a trifle
shorter, and, perhaps, is stiffer. Tho
arrow is not drawn to tho eye, but a
catch aim is taken, as when rifle shoot
ing, is done from the hip. Such shoot
ing, in perfection, is only acquired by
i pittance. The string is drawn
by the clutch of ti„ nleilo of tho
fingers, though some tribes use tho
thumb and three fingers. Remarkable
shooting is often performed by tho
Sious, though nothing that will com
pare with the somewhat legendary
performances of Robin Hood.
Uniting Up a Whale.
When a fish, as the whalers will fox - -
ever call it, is taken, the ship gets
alongside, aud the creature is fixed
head and tail in a curious and ancient
fashion, so that by slackening or tight
ening the ropes, each part of the vast
body can bo brought uppermost. A
whole boat may bo seen inside the
giant month, tho men hacking with
axes, to slice away the ten-foot screens
of bone, others, with sharp spades
upon the back, aro cutting off the
deep great-coat of fat in which kindly
nature has wrapped up this most over
grown of her children.
In a few hours all's stowed away in
the tanks, and a red islet, with white
projecting bones, lies alongside and
sinks like a stone when the ropes are
loosed. Some years ago a man, still
lingering ou the back, had the misfor
tune to have his foot caught between
the creature’s ribs, at the instant when
the tackle was undone. Soma icons
hence those two skeletons, the one
hanging by the foot from the other,
may grace the museum of a sub-tropi
cal Greenland, or astonish the students
of the Spitzhergen Institute of Anat
omy. —[ McCl tire’s Magazine.
A Souphouse for Cats.
The latest Maine charity is a “soup
house” for tramp-cats, started and
operated by a kind-hearted Hallowell
merchant. Every morning half-a
dozen hungry felines appear at the
back door of his storo aud wait for
their breakfast, which is always forth
coming. The man who attends to
their wants is getting considerable sat
isfaction in watching their lean and
hungry looks give place to a comfort
able fatness. It would be hard on him
if the grateful blasts should try to
show their appreciation of his kind
ness by a serenade,— Detroit Free
Pra*s
THE BERMUDAS.
Collection Islands Little !
A. of
Known to America.
Resort of Blockade Runners dur
lng the War.
Tho Bermuda Islands produce some
thing besides onions, the popular bo
hef to tho contrary notwithstanding.
Bermuda (pronounced Bermooda, not
Bermewdu), is 768 miles almost due
southeast from New York and tnoi-o
than 700 miles due east from Hatterus.
A steamer leaving New York Thurs
day afternoon roaches there on Sun
day. Bermuda, or the Bermuda Isl
ands, for there aro S05 of them, is in
tho form of a fish hook lying on its
back. Tho stoames sights the eastern
most point at night nud lies to until
morning, when a pilot conducts
her to the anchorage, There
she waits until permission has
been received from tho governor for
the landing of her passengers, The
magnetic telegraph is not used, but a
series of semaphores with yardarms.
Then tho vessel is slowly taken around
tho inside curve of tho fish hook un
til Hamilton, midway between the ex
tremities is reached. It being Sunday
the passengers aro allowed to disem
bark, but the cattle on board, of which
there is bound to be a load, cannot
land until Monday. Nor are the mails
and papers from Now York distrib
uted. The Sabbath is rigorously ob
served.
For a person needing mental or
physical rest, the Bermudas are high
ly recommended. For consumptives
they aro not beneficial. There aro no
amusements beyond amateur theati
eals. Riding and driving about the
islands or sidling along the coast in
the steam launches—these aro the rec
reations of tho visitor and resident.
It is a paradise for tho oyleist. Tho
roads are ns smooth as asphalt. They
aro tho bed-rock coral and are leveled
with planes. Five minutes after a
hard shower they are as dry as a par
lor floor. There is very little beach.
The bluffs rise sharply from the ocean.
Frowning from the bluffs are
forty-three forts, making the is
land, or “mainland,” as the principal
island is called, absolutely impregna
ble. It is the strongest fortified place
in the world, not excepting Gibraltar.
The islands are further protected by
numerous sunken reefs, which prevent
vessels from approaching closely, ex
cept through the known channels.
Tho principal island is twenty-four
miles from end to end and contains
15,000 persons.
It was settled by Englishmen in
1610 by colonists from Jamestown,
Va., and has since belonged to Eng
land. It was discovered by a Spau
<n*,l ta-oiity.three years after Colum
bus’ discovery, ami was named after
the discoverer. Spain attempted to
settle it, and tho Spanish rock on tin
south const, carved with tho initials of
tho head of the enterprise, is one of
the points of interest.
The houses are all constructed of
white stone taken from the quarries
and sawed into shape. It is cut easily.
Roofs are all made of the same mater
ial, the stone being out into thin slabs
and laid like slate.
An interesting industry is the grow
ing of Easter lillies for all parts of tho
world. Mrs. Gen. Hastings, a niece
of tho late ex-Prosident Hayes, intro
duced the industry, and last year a
million dollars’ worth of lillies were
exported.
During the civil war Bermuda was
tho coaling and supply station for
blockade runners, and St. George, the
sleepy town on the east const, was tho
richest town in the universe. Gold
rolled in the streets, and even tho la
borer had champagne for dinner. The
trips of those blockade runners were
so profitable that the Vessel could tie
lost on the third venture, and the
owners would still bo ahead.
A Si range Prehistoric City.
Mauville W. Oreswortli, an Eng
lish mining man well known through
out Soul west Mexico, arrived at Mup
imi, Mexico, recently from a long
overland journey through the Sierra
Madre mountains, his starting point
being Culican, near the Pacific coast,
in the state of Sinaloa. He claims to
have visited a section of country never
before visited by a white man of the
present generation, and that he dis
covered a large and beautiful deserted
c'D- told correspondent
He a that the
wonderful city is situated about eighty
miles west of Lake Colorado, in the
recesses of the Sierra Madres. It
occupies a basin about ten miles long
by eight miles wide. Perpendicular
cliffs surround the basin on all sides,
rising to a height of hundreds of feet.
The ouly entrance to the city is j
Hi rough a dee p canyon, which linn a
width of about thirty foot. Mr. Oros
worth states that ho Btnmhled onto the
secret entrance quite by accident. Ho
gives a vivid description of the desert
ed city.
Tho buildings, ho says, are con
structed of redstone blocks, resembl
ing granite. The business blocks are
fwo and three stories in height and
aro entirely different in architectural
design from the structures built by
the Axteos and Spaniards. The streets
are very narrow, but aro laid out in
regular order. In the city is a email
park, which is overgrown- with rare
flowers and tropical vegetation. He
entered the business houses and decay
ing residence*, but found very little of
value except some remarkable and
strange ornaments made of stone.
He believes that tho city was looted
at the time that it was deserted, when
ever that may have been. No records
or writings of any kind were found,
nor did he discover any skeleton that
would givo an idea as to the nice of
people who at one time inhabited tho
city-. None of the natives of that sec
tion of country had ever heard of tho
deserted city. Mr. Oreswortli is mak
ing diligent inquiry of them. Mr.
Gresworth’s story is very startling
and remarkable, but it is believed by
those to whom he has related his ex
pesiences. He will organize an expe
dition to make a thorough explora
tion of ilio city.—[St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
A Caliiornia-Ostrieh Farm.
An interesting ostrich farm is suc
cessfully conducted at Santa Monica.
The birds are in open pens, surround
ing a sort of field, two in each pen;
they are fed chiefly on corn, grass nnd
chopped alfalfa (a sort of California
clover), with plenty of gravel and
bones thrown in. The plucking begins
when they are seven months old, and
is continued every sevenmonths,yield
ing fifteen plumes under each wing
and soverul from ilio tail. At the pro
per time the bird is driven into a cor
nel- of his ooriil or inclosure, a flour
sack is thrown over his head and he is
led to a strong box just large enough
for ofto bird, and here the feathers are
cut oil'. If the work is not performed
at just the right time the feathers die
and become useless for the market.
These birds were first brought to this
country from South Africa for farming
purposes in 1882. Experiments were
tried with them at various points in
the southern part of California until
it was proved that tho soil and climate
were entirely adapted to them, and
thero is no reason now why ostrich
farming should not become ono of the
important and most successful indus
tries in tlioso parts— provided, of
course, thero bo a demand for tho
feathers. I learn that in 1891 the ex
ports of feathers from Capo Colony
alone amounted to $2,500,000. Tn
Africa the malo bird sits on tho eggs
at night, thru* ..baring t-ho onros and
responsibilities of life with his mate,
and it is said they are often modelB of
domestic affection in their earo for
and consideration of each other.—
[Troy Times.
Navnjos Blankets.
Tho Navajo Indians produce tho
brilliant red of their blankets from
bayeto, a bright scarlet cloth made in
Eastern cities and ravelled by the
Indians for the yarn. Their gray is
the natural color of some of their
sheep, so are their white aud their
black. They produce a doej) yellow
from the alder boiled in water, and af
terwards mixed with impure native
alum. A dull red is produced from ai
der bark. Block is also obtained from
the aromatic sumac, yellow ochre, and
the gum of a species of pine. This hist
dye is essentially an ink. Most oi
theso dyes arc produced by elaborate
and laborious processes, but the Nnva
jos also use dyed wools made in East
ern mills.
Sworn Never te.
Among the New York clubs recently
formed is the “Parole Coterie,” made
up of about twenty men-about-town,
who have taken an oath never to write
letters to anybody but men. It is a
sort of mutual protective society, and
each member pledges himself to act as
far as he is able as a verbal messenger
for the other. The club has no note
paper, and a member who writes a
private letter to u woman is liable to
expulsion. It must not be supposed
that these men are woman-haters.—
[Chicago Herald.
Signs of Promise.
Senior Partner—I think that new
travelling man of ours will make a
great success.
Junior Partner—How so?
Senior Partner—He was in the office
with his wife this morning, and the
didn’t get a chance to speaK for ten
mltiutes,— [Detroit Fr«S Pre»a.
NO. 25.
lie My Siv pill ni t.
Sweetheart, be my swcothoapt
When birds are on the wing,
When lice ami btnl and bubbling flood
Bespeak the oirtli ot spring •,
Come, sweetheart, bo hit ewoatheart
And wear this posy-ring {
Sweetheart, he my swoethoart
In the mellow golden glow
Of earth a flush with tho gracious blush
Whleli tho ripouing fields foreshow;
Door sweetheart, bo my swcothonrt,
As into the moon wo go.
Sweetheart, bo my sweetheart
When falls the bounteous year,
When fruit and wine of tree and vino
Give ns their harvest cheer;
O sweetheart, be my sweetheart,
For winter it Urawcth sc:'-, ...
Sweetheart, bo my sweetheart
When the year is white and old,
When tho fire of youth is spent, forsooth,
And tho hand of age is cold:
Yet, sweetheart, be my sweetheart,
Till tho year of our lovo be told!
—Eugene Field.
HUMOROUS.
Prima Donna—I sing only English
words. Manager—Never mind; no
one will need to know it.
“Tho hard times make very little
difference to me,” remarked a lime
dealer; “my business is always slack.”
“So bo’s going- to marry Miss Gold
bird, eh? What sort of a racket did
he work?” "Tennis, I understand.”
Jagson Hays his neighbor’s daughter,
who is learning the piano, cannot be
accused of fraudulent practice—It’s all
sound.
There are men who say that tho
pretty bicycle girl should not be un
recognized as tho daughter of the re
volution.
For an example of pure and unal
loyed contempt, take a barber’s opinion
of tho young man who is growing a
full beard.
Meekison—Why did tho policeman
club Yokes? Baughart—For getting
in his way when be was getting away
from a fight.
Mabol—Do you not think Mr. Do
Little a man of small calibre? Graeo
—Perhaps; but I’m sure of one thing
—ho’s a big bore.
De Trgp—Isn’t it rather late for you
to g° ttl< alone? Tottie—You bet!
Mamma uo «uld forgive me if I
never
camo home alone.
Her voice Is very sweet amt clear,
Melodious and low,
And all sho said I loved to hoar,
Until she told me “no.”
“Aunty, what do they call tho man
who hunts up the taxes?” Aunt
Sarah—Taxidermist uv course, heca’so
ho skins everybody.
Dozeleigh—Why do yon insist upon
the new pastor being a fat man? Dea
con Broadaisle—Because fat inon aro
generally short-winded.
Sands—Ho may bo worth a million,
but he is about the windiest old blow
hard I ever saw. Brix—Yes, a sort
of million-air iu motion.
Mrs. Hudson—I am so much inter
ested in the poor. Mrs. Slummer—
Indeed? Mrs. Hudson—Yes, I read
all I can find about them.
Mrs. Whitf—Your husband is a
most remarkable man. Nothing seems
to escape him. Mrs. Black—That’s
because ho isn’t a detective.
“You ought to be ashamed, Arthur;
you annoyed your aunt so much that
she has loft us.” “I don’t caro; I
only like distant relatives, anyhow." j
Doctor (to servant girl)—Well,now
what is your particular affection? Ser
vant girl (bashfully)—Please sir, ho’s
a clarinet player.—[Journal Amu
sant.
Rose—I think I’ll say yes. It is
better to marry a man you respect
than ono you adore. Dolly—But it’s so
much easier to love men than to re*
«jpect them.
“The poor are always with us,**
'Tis so tho saving goes;
But wealthy people, also,
Are often pretty close.
Magistrate—You admit that you
stabbed this man. Why did you do .
it? Prisoner—Oh, he snubbed mo ono
day last week, and tho next time I saw
him I out him.
Mr. Figg—Tommy, my soil, do yon
know thut it gives me as much pain as
it docs you when 1 punish you?
Tommy—Well, there's some satisfac
tion iu that, anyhow.
“Thank goodness 1 that new insect
powder worked, The cockroaches
have come to grief at last,” said tho
landlady. “Yes,” assented old Petcr
by, "they’re in the soup.”
Steele—Marie Arlington lifts lost her
good name. Sapsmith (hungrily)—
Good gwacious! What arc the parti
culars? Steele—She has married a
man by the name of Suooksby.
“I find my practice in broad-making
have saved us many dollars.” “Bat
I thought yon couldn’t oat it, you
said?” “We don’t, but I make play- .
things for tho baby out of it, nnd they
never break or wear out, ” . j; ; j