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SOUTH GEORGIAN. rtIBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY AT ' MciVILLE, TELFAIR COUNTY,- GA. W. T. MacARTBUR, 1 E*°pnefbre. p * 8 . A. F4PKLEB, f •rmcniFrnis rates. On* Y*ar..................... & » 8t* Months................... ~ 3 Tim Menth!,.......*...... 3 AH tottor* iiboigld b© p&d r ew«\ Md44or South Gnorgtap. TOPICS OF THE HAY. f.RAOviuj; ip to have street cars shortly. , * California is moving for a National Bureau of Agriculture for the Pacific Coast. ■ Mential to, heavy tojw* Weights if. «*« ”f ft. He weighs 287 pounds. ’ > MkmFhia 7 ^7. will C. . enforce a .strict qiuiran o - »——-*■ ....... ■ —Tifk, , , heafth of Paris is below par. Ty phoid fever and small nox- P >rre the “ ore 1 vailiuv “ enldemirs " _ Cl NU n NAT i H May m Musical „ . Festival . wi l c^iur oii the 18th, 19th, 20th and ?l^f the month. --- The decline in stneka in Wall durino-throe £ weot it-’ isestimated, r t i will . 1 ! ' •segregate over $40,000,TOO. Out „ . Colorado in a man who refused to either pay his- fare or get off the train, was coolly ~ shot bv y the conductor c onductor. ’ OmnwPmiwmivRHi " ' .’ i*ff> • n * , o , e, excessively , . nejyous, and nearly taints when any stranger approaches the King. «" -- : -- --- - A New YoRK'dispdfch intimates that H. B. Payne, of Cleveland, is Tilden’s •choice for President,, in case he himself .is not nominated. The idea seems to.be becoming popu lar that oatmeal is better for brftins than fish. This ought to produce a uniyerfal demand for the article. announced Several of their the coal panic^i suspend rave purpose to operations for a few weeks, so as to re¬ duce stocks and increase prices. Edison, it is reported, is spending his leisure hdttrs constructing a flying ma chine with which it is proposed" to cross the ocean in twenty four hours. ..-------- ~+~ The obelisk which was ordered by Queen Victoria to be erected on the spot where the Prince Imperial fell, in Zululand,lias*been put in position. 1 _ Between the 1st,and, 20th of April '"“ightanJ 7t jr-ilf inchc.3, of rain fe(( in 'California. Such a rainfallTs riuite an ninumal thing for the Pacific slope. There is trouble between Mayor Kalloch, of .Fan Francisco, and his physi¬ cian, the Mayor refusing to pay $500 for having the bullet dug out of his body. Fjfty’^ thousand emigrants are ex pected.fo arrive from Europe in May A few more conscriptions for European armies' will populate -all our public lands. General Grant has again returned ,to,his home at Galena, and by this time is probably off again on a trip to Oof orado, a point which lie has desired to visit for some time. The friends-of * Francis Murphy, the temperance lecturer, .in that rural-like town, homestead Philadelphia^ in have presented him a their midst, for which .hey paid $40,040. * ' .* % -* \ HK-AW It 7. “aid - th©,bis . ■ - is HoUTOss t]v 4 ojap-coi' templates creating four additional flSr ijnals in the United Stetep,. Is this anbther chance'lfor the jijevitaJbjtt'Offio \ man ? - / J ‘ , - ---- .> Myl 'X H sad heart will he g'itddefted, many a, torn spiritthealed, by the joyous jj?nomieement the Head th-ot King His of Siam; Celestiaj, High mess, is to visit _ thiscfflmtry during the present year. It is estimated t haA. 44065; Cauiidian emigrants will seek ncvf'homes* in the West and Northwest ..tjto, present,sum mo*. The emjgrajRt topveiiijntoto West ern points is already heavier than at any .rinie last year. - v v..-. .JidT on’s .ne'w process'of getting gold • out of the tailings of mintoris to be put iff practical operation tmloiv 1 Quebec. Fome New York capitalists haNe the scheme in hand, and dke ttow investigat¬ ing the mines. ** ' 7 '-,, The new Pr eWh cable ..that to break the monopo^f ocean telegraph iiig is undergoing file gobbling process it is the old story of small companies organized to compete with groat estate' lished, corporations. - Here is a' nugget from tho Pacific Coast: A Dutch Flat man the other day picked up a rock to throw at a cow. The weight of it attracted his attention, and on examination it wasfound to con¬ tain over $100 in gold. The Detroit Free Press gives the fol¬ lowing good advice: “Keepyour eye on Congress, and mark the men who refuse u 1 vote for free paper. Wverv man who refuses is an enemy to the people at large, and shouh) ■ be shel ved as soon as Vitossible ” , , v'Seth Green advocates frog culture, He says “that many farmers have for¬ tunes in* frog ponds, and that a little care and cultivation will produce a crop of ffogstJarge enough for family use, af¬ ter supplying the market SOUTH GF/JKGIAN. VOLUME III. Extract from Puck-. “ The new comic paper, a copy of which is before us, is called the. Congressional Record. We aregiad to have, a competitor ; 1 it keeps us to the mark, We note that is in its tenth volume. Strange that we never saw it before!” n™, .1 ,h, NatbiMl Democratic Committee, says if the Cin cinnati authorities do not permit proper arrangements to be made for telegraph ing from Music Hali he will certainly ’ f HE philosopher t .., __ , T ot Peck D ,, Z Sun has dis s covered a flaw! in the Irish' suffering business. He says; “At Enniscorthy, wh c re Mr. Parnell attempted to speak the other nieht he was ' driven from tho p, .“ f m by “ sho . ^ er c bad > i e ^‘ Jt be seen from this that eggs are so plenty in Ireland that they are allowed t° spoil.” -* >"'f i 11 ". Australians do not take kindly to polygamic idea. One of the Fait Lake /rt ..priests pr^elv who L has iust rptnrned ^ •? P visit isB to to the c tog 19 land, a says that * r four attempts were made there to murder him, and the Salt Lake Tribune is abusing thei Australians for theifcnoor marksmanship. __—_ — » Peck’s Sun: Just six months ago the tax on tobacco was reduced by Congress, and the. result has been an in¬ crease of $776,000 in the revenue over any other six months of the last ten years. This proves, what we have al¬ ways claimed, that Congress occasionally does a sensible thing. We have been abused for holding this view many times, but we were conscious that we were nd stuck to Ft. Gen. Hatch surrounded and cap¬ tured, a few days since, four hundred Apache warriors, in the Fan Andre Mountains. He also captured two thou¬ sand mules and horses, which have been turned over to the Government. While disarming the Indians thirty made a dash for liberty, and twelve were killed. No casualties are reported in General Hatch’s command. Sara Br.RNHARirf is taking a rest. Because ,a critic found fault with her acting in a new play in the Theatre Francaise, Paris, she. resigned, and now a •WTO.WSUK Mnwsuit on on *an^. hand .j Tn upon'the announcement of hetfresigna-' tion sjie" received two propositions from managers in flulous, tfcs Country, either of which seemed % hit she rejected them, o bara kmiW.s , . how to , get ... free ad vertiging. Shell be over here next winter. _ The difierence in Mr. Vanderbilt’s in come as the result of converting $51, of New York Central Railroad into United States four per cents is, if we estimate the stock as yielding ten pefi^ient. per annum, $3,000,000; but it still leaves him an annual revenue $2,040,000, or nearly $175,000 a month; a week; r $6,607'a day; $275 an hour; and $4 60 a minute, he need not yet sell his fast horses for his new pictures in order to inake'Troth ends meet. 1 A HtllL has been introduced/into the York Assembly allowing servant to collect their wages by summary p«Jhess. The law is already in force as New York Citv, and it is now proposed 1 to extend it to Brooklyn r and to Troy. An amendment intended to defeat it, by making it apply to the ft. State, was itself defeated. Under any servant girl is allowed to levy on property where the amount due and re¬ fused her is less than $50. If her cm ployer has no property, the debtor may be imprisoned for fifteen dayatir until the amount is paid. ' V y.r --- —1 - . ESngland seems to have overthrown the Beaconsfield government because it was tired of wars and rumors of wars. Yet it really makes very little difference to England whether it has a war on its hands or not. Its loss of men and ships keep!?going on with the greatest regu : liiritv, and it worfld really' to* much San ter for its marines to lose their lives in a sharp naval engagement than to go to the bottom helplessly in one of those overgrown monsters that comprise the British navy. The Captain, an iron giant, west down with all on board. The Eurydice capsized in sight of land “'' d not a soul was saved but two of he men. Now her sister ship, thi Atatapta, with over 300 on board, is lost, The >■*' work ■ the tunnel unde* on the North River to connect New York with Jersey City seems to be going forward at a very lively rate, although not much is heard of it. The tuimel will be two miles in length, from Washington square, in New York, to the terminus in Jctsey City, and three-quarters of a mile will be under the Yiver. It t will wi carry a doubletrack, or, rath£f, it . will be a double tunnel. Three gangs of men are now employed, gpd work never stops, day- orotight. As the mud and rock are taken out the sides of tire bore are lined with sfcoiler iron, and inside of this a eirclfi.of hard bricks three feet thick is laid with^ cement.' gome difficulty is expected when the work reaches the channel; of the river, hut the engineers have c«leulkted*al! the possible and are confident of suceeas. It li pected to have the tunnel completed three years. MAOVILLE, GEORGIA, FRIDAY, MAY 14 , 1880 . 1«R THE YOUNG FOLKS. It was only a very small cart she had to take her dolly out riding in; and a that very everybody queer dolly at, that! So queer, looked and then turned around twice and stared .again. And on they went—the little girl with JWStS the world ; the cart, an old oyster shell, bumping J ,he doll, along the broad pavement; an, sitting erect, bundled up to *' s e J e9 i * silent yet most expressive and whirling around she dropped the old knotted string, and bent over to give the fair rider a thump. Where did you get such a dolly?” a fine lady, who couldn’t for her Ip t ! le cr he RVil 'P. being ' !;r G in moved S -° deep by m the every pathos little of S lr „ 's l heart for something to pet. “How 'an you bear to touch it?” child, Out taking n Mcpractm’-s garden,” said the a pin out of her month to he fasten s splendid—-he up the rags is! of her An’ dress. Mc’Crackin “An’ 5?*^ K ' ^ g lve file another if I'd catch him. /want but one; he eats aw ‘ ,P° lnted with her^ dirty, little » to the occupant of the cart ? who was rol ing his goggle eyes wildly in bold. every direction in a way frightful to be But a toad—an ugly, fat, disagrees hie ,, toad 1 exclaimed the lady in the extremest tones of disgust, as she drew aside her rich dress, lest she should touch the object of her aversion, who, attired in a bit of bright red flannel closely his neck pinned around the place where would have been if he had pos sessed such a desirable portion of his anatomy, certainly was not a very at tractive sight. “A toad I A toad! cried one or two boys hovering near. ”Oh! Hi! now for n - , -You , let . him . be.! cried the , little girl, her eyes fairly biasing; and squar ing her sturdy little figure in front of the oyster shell, she took a firmer grip on the string that served as a handle to the cart. ‘ Ef you touch my things, I ‘ have y° u took up by the perlice—I wB • Ha. Ha. Ha! cried one and all.“Oh, here s a lark ! ’ i guess the ‘perlice ’ll be after you, old rag-bag, if we give the word,” said a tall hoy, in great derision. ‘ You lemme alone!” repeated the child anxiously, rohb.ng her bare toe back and forth on the pavement. “Go wf jyJ he’s mine—lie is?” The lady, unable to make herself heard, and unwilling to'contend with a crowd of rude boys, whose numbers ground Wl!r e "°' ,£or.a v augmenting, looked anxiously in «ght T|p WjMmman; ^te-oo ts,g..i* but nyne 5 ? wero ' A ; a mR , rea sSrt; were hat’s miirVufWusly Joe,upset quigf. the “ l it, whole thing,” c P e<1 ll ! e tal J boy > " , ’! , i um l’ ed int ? tb £ place of , leader with hi . . great ^ .- Mow thcn> i end — kni f 9m our e and we’ll’:ei this fellow adrift.” With a shrill scream, the little girl started forward. “Ob, my dollv ! My beautiful dolly!” She was too late. The string that tied the toad securely to, the seal was cut with a quick band.; the bright ied cloak torn off rudely, and before anybody could think twice, he was thrust out, frightened the big almost out of his wits, into street, to be hustled to death by his tormentors, “It’s no use,” cried the lady, stretch out a kind hand to* restrain .the little ward. girl, “You who was rushing wildly Come for¬ can’t save him. with me., I will get you another dolly ......a pretty one. Come with me, poor child.” “4 don’t w'ant it!” shrieked the little defrauded grrl, in a voice heard far above the din and laughter going on over the sufferings of her per, whom they were driving this way Could aud that, with every missile they lay hands on, cruelly I thumping trim, him had at every step. “ want I’ve him this good while, an’ I love him. Oh, make ’em stop-do, tle thin, dirty marm!” hands, She clasped gazed her lit¬ and into the lady’s face imploringly. “ Han’t, child,” she said,- her eves filling with tears. There, see he’s dead and out of his misery. Come with me.” She took in her delicate)y-gloved band, with - authoritative pressure, the now ledsher unresisting hand of the child, and down a narrow street. Not to Tbe comfort-doiBty she bought believe that, children. toy for her, the kind, comforting word's she poured into the childish ears, could not appease the poor, wounded little heart, nor stop the rain ofrtears that eeaselesBlxvfell over the gad little face. ' ':»? < ‘rtTaiu’t alive,” she said, when a fine dollSias put into herhand, smart in its pink and white gown and gay bonnet. “Ob, dear—dear! I want my own Toady, And T do—I do!” all that was she would say, when the lady bade her good-by at the cor¬ ner} bade her good by, to watch sadly little figure down the long fun; And especially yet these boys* must havfe but their harmless'child when With nothing a poor, her one treas¬ ure stands in the way. One Kind of People. The New York Herald says: There is a of elaas^of clerks, timid and people who who hardly are dare afraid store to go away without buying something. They fee tremble at the sight of a waiter, «nd him and patiently take what he before them, never grumbling, They reverence a conductor or a brakes¬ man as if he were a Prime Minister, and are filled with glory if he only not put them oft the car. They always take the poorest seats for fear that people may think they are iclfish, and if a snow-ball hits them it! the they turn and smile a' vo.te'Af thanks to the hoodlum. who,'threw it. They unworldly, are not gqodjllaafteti Uriah ” jodilientf'toti Heepflf ” 6 ut modest, jiractical people, people, who admire th,cfi.sa'miy _ But ones. ' their hearts is a spirit of and once in a while, when tw>"mu'ch and spill things, imposeij im upon, they rise up Solving Kiddles in Hen-SlCep. Xheri^is a'glrl at IlffddleM Mills, fey., who is proving to hr a decided Collins, natural curiosity. Her namd is Li v.ie and ehais the daughter of V7 i litem Col lins, who lives near liere. l izzie is only thirteen years of ftge, and for some time past lias beer, a terrible sufferer. Her left hand, and the left side of h?i iias longue are completely paralyzed, L/about she been in tins condition live months. When the symptoms first wade their ap try, but they were unable to afford her any relief. The disease grew worse, arid a t last physicians in all parts of the State grew interested. A peculiar feature in the case was the constant inclination to sleep manifested by the patient. She would sleep for hours at a time, and while in that con dition her contortions were frightful to witness, she and during her hours of tfakine says she suffers terribly while un conscious. But the moat astonishing feature of all is the wonderful feats per formed by the girl while asleep. A few days ago several gentlemen of highBtandingintl.ecommunitydeter- mined watch Lizzie during of to one her somnolent spells. As soon as she had fallen asleep, which she seemed’to do quite naturally, she quickly gave evi denee of being in great pain. This fee 1 ing, however, apparently passed away after a little while, and then shekasked in a perfectly audible tone of voice: “Mamma, are you there V 1 Her mother was standing a few feet from her bedside, and quickly replied— “Yes, dear, I am here. What Mo you want?” .“Bring me lessons my arithmetic, please; I must get my learned for to-mor row.” The parents say this is her usual re quest. She seems to imagine that she is attending school again. The mother brought her the desired book, and -Lizzie with eves closed, solved the most difficult problem with the greatest ease One of the gentlemen presently passed a lighted candle in front of her face several times, but she seemed entirely unconscious of its proximity. Her bosom rose and fell quite naturally, and the evelids never moved. Bhe was fast The next test was the inevitable “15” puzzle. To the astonishment ol all pres ent she treated this rnathcniatnAl won der, that is puzzting half the country, with perfect indifference, for under her deft manipulation, the 13, 14 and 15 came out bold and cleaS at evety ven ture. Although she vfeS tested fn vari ous ways, she n^vor riddlfl. faBsd once in splv ing this difficult' and did soap aUciltion.p-JiI^u^ parentlv with the latest Ste'naSf oj ge j tin cfilting "Aif of for-p‘eas.an< k, and, u9>v§fr ufij small the -teS> writing *h« MiU desl^ ^ Dig pimped elegant and srffet innate ® Jfie K ini.;t ‘irer friends, « ' jffi-reing reading them o'j LptjV all errors ami,, with carets « '! words thaf’fibe may iria'L; jfmul le?ve out.. The visitors awali prel ■MAhe suddenly, occasion referred to - surprise when she exhibitedl beingfl SeA.M^complete resented on with .the letters she bad writ'Hfn ami told of the mathematical problem ahetbad solved. She was a-ke l to repeat some of the lat¬ ter, hut, was totally, baW'lyysIfUted unable. Her re¬ markable powers every scientifiijrman in the the. Btate.and n tun tors constantly virit hpuse where she ‘ ? Jjuyiim r u. The Servant (juesfion. t- As yet, writ*;. of the >NeW-fYork Times, cor respondent the. Hartford there Chinese is no sign sMA’ants. of a spe‘jin,l Frofiahly'nel demand foi more CUineacjiJpfb# than fifty p,C- tho Yorkt - twenty nvr employed _ I,undo underi^aiiKl are in this way. || iliat B some who have tried Otunameirbave them? been glad to get rid of : ato>r x' few weeks. There sort of is general no pSr.icffjp!! dissatisfaction. complaint, All but the a Chinese who offer tffemselves as house servants ask more wages than are paid to white iirls, and this alone would he a barrier against them. If there is one thing that calls out ^he meanness of a pretty large class of housekeepers more than anbtber, it is tho payment of serv¬ ants’ !%ages. It js a common thing in New York (I have seen much of it, and dress can sjieak to the paint)- for women who well and live weii, and go to church to boot, to cheat their servant’s without ablush. Itisgljpa common thing to ref&ee they to leaving pay pKeui place, their Jn wages which, when are a per¬ haps, one servant is expected to do the work of^ three. Another common prac¬ tice is to fegd them on the refuse of the family table, and if there isn't enough of that for a meal they may go hungry. Complaints about 'madej tlje tyranny of se’r vams are often and m many cases, no doubt, with iither herv good reason. But there are many cases—a great many more cases, in fact—in which the servants than sinning. are vastly more, sinned against of Mr. the Egyptian MA 8 KELYNE,I^B>ted Hall, London, conjurer bins in¬ vented an apparatus London to check the Fares taken ing in by mind the that omnibuses. Bear¬ charged for eaefi sect'oH a separate(LLe the is accomplish this of distance, to was no easy matter. Naturally, it automate' is rather a complicated affair; it is and works by clock-work, marked each person receiving a ticket for his particular distance and the fare. A selj register is made by the movement of perspire entering and leaving, by lever. their ' Weight f on the steps acting as a “Mother” said ipSaifew tKeseven-year-old son of an energetic Kochflsfcfc thFothet not a thousand miles from he watched kitchen her vigomt# m^nipulat' not uni of gostnheaken.” a utensil, ftyou to wight to • ~ “ Why not, my su|? -Y ’ irf 1 a surpriz'd manner. . “Because you wbuld wear or*, your harp before eternity-Va* haU ovei,” was pher. the quiet reply of the •..oSug philoso¬ tL The gate money at the walking match will be property div'aed ing to the gait maintain'.d„ Woman as a Census-Taker. Meatfly dressed woman of nneSrlaiii ngo, with a big hook under her arm and pen in hand, rings the door-hill. Young lady appears at the door. Census Enumerator — 11 Good morn¬ ing. Lovely You morning. horn-----” I’m taking the census. were Yeiung Lady—“ Yes’m.” •Census Enumerator —“Your name, please. What Can 1 a pretty dust cap you have like on. geiftbe pattern V It’s just the one the lady in the next house has.' Lel’ssee, your name 7” “ 1 haven’t the pattern. Don’t you get awful tired walking round taking the n nrus ?” “Oh, yes, it’s wearisome, but I pick up a great deal of information ? How nice your dinner smells cooking. Plum pudding?” Maine. No, haven’t plum “In I pud¬ cipe’—” ding to-day. I’m looking for a new re¬ “ 1 ’vo got on 8 that I took down from a lady’s cook hook across the way. Are you married ?” “ No. \Yanl an invitation to the wedding, don’t you ? It will be a long time before you get if. You can kee srta you.” your plum pudding receipt, than “ I sh’d think ’twould be some time. Have you cbil— Ob, of course; 1 for¬ This hall carpet is just thepattern of Aunt Prudy’s. She’s had it more than twenty years. How many are they in this the family?” “If hall carpet don’t suit you, you can get off from it and go about your censusing.” “ Well, you’re an impudent jade any¬ how. You haven’t told me when you were born, or what’s your name, or when you expect to get married, and there’s ten dollars’ flue for not answer¬ ing census-takers’ I wouldn’t questions, be and door if I was you seen at the in there.” such a slouchy morning dress, so “Oh, you hateful thing. You can just go away. I’ll pay ten dollars just to get rid of you, and smile doing it. It’s none of your business, nor the cen¬ sus either. No, it isn’t. You can keep pattern, and your plum questions pudding, and your saucy, impudent to I— 1 —” “ Good morning. I must bs getting I haven’t done bill three- families this forenoon,” and an energetic of the door just missed catching a of her trailing dress skirts. 1 reduction ol ...... Mohan- A ... New , Indus* , "J* granted The Legislature of Virginia recently a charter for the incorporation of a company to he known as tho “Vir gin ia Angorit Company.” The capital Association is p'aced at ft!,000, ooir,~m have wniuir ic tt> alieady been subscribed. Ac pording permitted to its charter in the company hundred is to hold t^ce two thousand acres of land, and to issue bonds, but not without the* consent of nine-tenths of all the stockholders. A contract has been made with California parties t-> transfer their stock of thor oughbred Angoras to Virginia, and to furnish also twenty thousand ewe goats of original Maltese stock, to be pur¬ chased in and brought from Mexico. > Although the industry has been sue cessful in California, yet tbeconditions for success are so far superior in the mountains transfer of Virginia herds as to warrant the of the and nu expen diture^f about $ 200,000 in making the transfer and in improvements. The Angora goat is a peculiar animal found only in a very limited area in Asia Minor, at an average elevation of four thousand feet above tide, in lati¬ tude about 40° North, a winter climate as low at zero of Fahrenheit, and a moderately hot climate in summer, con¬ ditions, all of which, as well as the kind ami quality of herbage, are all fulfilled in the location secured in Virginia. By permitting nobrecdingexcept bucks, fourth from pure thoroughbred the and cross gives the a wool as aud line, scarcely long distinguish silky as pure stock, by experienced experts. The production of mohair will be the principal business of the company, but other important industries will be car-, rierl on in connection with it, such as hides for morocco, tallow for the highest grades trimmings, of fancy soaps, Swiss furs, robes, mais and cheese from the milk. The weathers will all be slaugh¬ tered at a proper age. They become very large ami fat, and the flesh is much superior to mutton, and scarcely distinguishable from the best venison, for which the saddles are usually sold. Large numbers of hogs will be fattened on the refuse, and g'ue and fertilizers manufactured from the scraps and bones. The horns command high rates for cer¬ tain manufactures. Horror Seekers. The individual who has a mania for attending circuses in the hope that he may walker be piesent when performer some tight-rope killed or trapezs is has been often disappointed. There have been a good many serious acci¬ dents which ha$e to<«niig{It have witnessed. There been dislocated joints and broken bones and on one occasion there was nearly a death caused by shooting a howitzer young woman performer from a stage break her through a rotten net intended to fall, But up to laid week there was no case of actual death in the ring. If the horror-seeker had been in and Philadelphia a short time ago, however, might was have still been engaged satisfied in his lad. search, For he at a circus exhibition in the good City of Brotherly Love a trapeze performer, young girl death only 18 years of age, through met her while going performances. sickening A misstep, long a fall, the result so was reached. Whether the occurrence will lessen the public demand for tacles involving such frightful risk limb aud life is a question. The is, exactly we are afraid, that the effect will the reverse, and that performances will hereafter have an ditional charm. Perhaps if they several rigorously States’the forbidden by the might lawrof Jrtaste country grow the mor’ which now pels to supply them. NUMBER IS. The Effect of a Baby. r Cbicng<y Timet*.} Did you ever notice how much differ¬ ence a bright eyed, idiotic looking little, baby will make in a street car? On yesterday afternoon when West a Times re porter stepped he discovered into a Madison street car, that the sole orcupants of the car beside himseif were a little happy looking worn ip with a two months old baby upon her lan, and a proud looking father next to her. The whose baby was cheeks one of those red faced iofsyjts are so fat, hs to make it ini possible for them to shut their months, aud whose eyes are big, and blue, and staring. Little chubby bands with deep dimples down their backs, and restless little legs that would kick away the dress and expose the fat sturdy little legs, had with their blue socked feet. The car not gone far before it stopped for a little girl, who, when she entered the car, Rat down first in a corner, but discovering the baby, moved up next to it and its mother, and began kutebey kutcheying positions it, and thinking hold up new natural in which to her dolly when lady she light got homo. A pretty young in a ulsterette and a blue veil stepped into the car. sitting down demurely beside the little girl. She, too, spied the baby, aud when it twisted about and stuck its littieiist out at her Rhe gave it a finger to hold, and reached over and kissed it. A little further along a cross looking, hooked nosed, sharp featured old man thrust himself into the car, and planted him¬ self in the first corner he came to. He glanced that about the car with an expression indicated a hatred of all mankind, and then settled back into the corner determined to let no one say a word to him nor to give any one a pleasant look Suddenly the baby caught sight of his carroty beard, and making a desperate lurch, almost threw itself out of its mother’s arms. It could not reach the old man, but, in straining and crowing the kicking man’s to get at and him, he it softened old heart, pinched its f it cheeks and clucked at it with a smile Other passengers who had entered the car during the meantime laughed and smiled at the baby, and when it hung its head so far over backward that it looked at them upside down, they poked their fingers at it and called it a “ toolsey-pootsey.” When the time came for the mother and her baby to leave, there were many good by smiles, and the ladies kissed their hands to it, sorry that it was going. After it had gone the car relapsed into silence, the old man in the corner drew himself within himself again; the pretty youpg perused lady with^fhe book; the blue little veil girl demurely list a generally grew lo&feed less; the passengors solemn. The reporter felt that the lisfci nf th(i cajjltac^one and there was a vao*m:y ihat nothin*; hut » baby fill. “Bless ‘its little heart!-ft was better'll a circus, su it was.” -----------,— — New Postoffice Rules. Letter 0 ® 6 of\oni<®wwilf e 7 for ^ e t> HheD ^ d A> V cotopffk‘1 oVMfistagsrstompsan^im^hipVs; 'Partiesvtife Tfl. li,ck their camiot compiled life 1 pfrtmakter be to do tli is. Nitro-glycerine and risk dynamite must be forwarded at the ol the sender. they should blow up in the post¬ master’s hands he cauimt be field re¬ sponsible. When letters received beat ing are no direction, will the parties signify for whom the they fact are intended please to the postmaster, that he may at once forward. It is unsafe to mail apple or fruit trees with the fruit on them, as some of the postmasters have a weakness for such things. Bottles of whisky should be well corked. It h earnestly requested that lovers writing to their girls, will please confine their gushing rhapsodies to the inside of the envelope. cannot* be through tho Ducks sent mails when alive. slumbers Their quacking -of the would disturb the clerks on the postal cars. . When watches are sent through the mails, if the sender will put a notice on the outside, the postmasters will wind up and keep in running order. Old maids, featherbeds, aud inflated balloons are unmailable. John Smith gets his mail from 674,279 postoflice, hence a letter directed to John Smith, United States, will reach Babies can be sent as third-class mat¬ ter, provided sucking bottles and nap¬ kins accompany them. Eggs are not mailab'e unless fre»K; and should they become chickens on transit they become the property of the Postoflice Department. When you enclose a money order in a letter always write full and explicit directions in the same letter, sd that any person getting the letter can draw the money. Alligators over ten feet in length are not allowed to be transmitted by mail, Garlic, onions, assafoedita, gum cam phor, switzer, Jimberger, and sausage sent through the mails shouid be left open at the ends. Letter-carriers are required to have penetration enough to know when lot ters should be delivered to jealous wivfs; hence if he delivers a leiter fr.om your girl to your wife you can have ” him discharged; placing of upside down The stamps on letters is prohibited. Several post masters have recently been seriously injured while trying to stand on their heads to cancel stamps placed in this manner< The English language is rich in synonymous terms. A mechanic in search of work is “out of a job;” a clerk in the same predicament is “dis¬ engaged,” aud a professional man simi¬ larly placed is “at leisure.” The me¬ chanic gets work, the clerk “ connects” himself with some establishment, and the professional man h resumes” prac¬ tice ‘‘ 11 I’ASSINU SMll.ES. Tub Guinea hen talks too much to be a good layer. — [Wew Orleans Picayune. A' rkmac.k that always provokes a “smile”—“ What will you take?” A “ Fireman ” wants to know how to prevent hose from bursting! Don’t wear ’em. „ “Whom shall we marry ?” asks an exchange. If you artr a man you will marry a woman. In use of sounding words inen are quite rash. They talk of mystery, and moau but hash. Eve came silently into the world on the first man’s sleep year. She fff*w him and Adam at once. The man who hesitates is lost, hut the woman who hesitates gets a fresh grip on her side of the argument. The Sundem Ural I has a long article entitled "Froude on Runyan.” We congratulate Mr. Froude * that the bunion is not on him. The difference between a church or¬ ganist and the catarrh is said to,be ttfe that the one knows the steps arid oroer stops the nose. A country editor has written to his member of Congress that they must re¬ move the tariff from paper pulp, adding that lie will get on a tariff they don’t. that An the observing butcher has discovered man who can get ahrog with the least amount of meat is the one who insists on having the gratuitous liver. A n jeoro. after gazimr at some Chinese, shook his bead and solemnly said : “ Jf de white folks be so dark as dal out dar, 1 wonder what’s de color oh de black folks? ’ The most interesting letter in the al¬ phabet that we could ever appreciate is a before, kissing it B.—Yes, is the sweetest and as we How have said can we letter Pi? Massachusetts deacons go out on Sunday morning in spring in search of butus the dainty and coy little trailing ar¬ and take home a handkerchief full of brook trout. Few barbers shave their own faces. This is explained by the perfectly- rea¬ sonable fact that no barber is foolish enough to make himself the voluntary victim of his own stories. It is estimated that there are four million unmarried women in tliis coun¬ try. bed Every one of them looks under the previous to retiring, however, and hopes to find a man some time. A Man may mash the stove and things, And black a fond wife’s eve; And she may pound him With a Hub, But. . true love cannot die. Bexjamin Dott was one of the la¬ ziest men in the town of N-, in Mis¬ souri. He was so indolent that he used to sign his name thus: B.— Rome Senti¬ nel. And when he dies his wife will be the Widow B . “ What The New England should F’amerlnquiros. cows farmers keep? ” Fubbr suggested'that they thould keep their own, as a serious inconvenience often arises from a propensity to keep those belonging to other folks. ' Two young men were passinga fa’rm house where a farmer was trying to harness a mule, horsemen. “ Won’t he draw?’ said one of the “ Of course he the will,” attention saidatljte orrery farmer. fool that “ He passes.’ draws A Michigan girl has been for carrying a levolver. That is right. No female should be allowed to, wear 1 bangs Chronicle. in hef hip pocket;— Pbilci'lpfiia - “ICE if ice, this year,” exclaims an exchange. Wf» make a note of viie, fact for fc.'i-j AfcaVour readers may have "* ' sfWB 3 lasses sSjuly” it'k’l^wf- “W, t._.it^T let Vhis>«i!b iu;V .W 8 S beans, n notjio munity growTte.r lot’^aiot 114 iarkries.se Man’s a, happy one Rorinot-is -strtng^tafll he free; 1 •stai'dW’Wini _ hn bossiTUi.it until Sly I A tONTi^irtoiARv uMiv On Wt.c^etoatled Buj'#r it K “ Ihe right Meet -to of Wke *n. / boys. clothes, It imparts aba a qjgagreeablo THWbto *ne their sifspic/ons when Hbev go h theV tbeir arouse mothers which : th'ipTimlsJgf inflAcuiteTO’ ee V eradiaate. « ■ “ How many glasses did tile. %jie/ Herr’ Doctor drink, Gretchen? ’ asked man landlord of his daughter, on his” guest leaving the cellar. “The “ Eigfit, father,” replied the girl. Why; ras-, cal!” exclaimed the irate host. “ he gave me strict, orders never to drink more than three!” Fish-poles are now made to resemble walking canes, so that when the fisher¬ man meets a small boy with a string with bis of fish to sell he can come home fish-pole on his shoulder; but if, found, aswme times happens, no boy can be he can transform it into a erne and saun¬ ter back as though he had merely been “taking a constitutional.” A Forged Letter. [j-’ui'm the Oil City Derrick-j “ I’ve got a letter here,” said Colonel Solon yesterday, “which some one ur nuther is tryin’ to play off on me as a reg’lar letter from Joe Kuntz,” and the Colonel placed the letterou the desk. It was neatly written and Joe’s name was signed to it correctly. that’s Joe’s let¬ “Certainly, Colonel, ter,” “No, said we. bob, sir.” said the Colo¬ sir-ee no nel, vervpositivelv, “that air letter is a forget^*, coz Joe stutters worse than whisky flowin’ outgo a bottle, an’ mill- this ’ere letter,rtads as straight as a race.” And the Colonel wouldn't be con¬ vinced that Joe 'didn’t stutter in his riting. • 3 The Company He Raised. During the last year of the late war, a call wits made for one year men, there was a young man in IVest \ irginia that had some aspirations for military He wrote to the Governor for a commission to raise a company one-year men. He was sent a second lieutenant’s commission, with privilege of captain if he got up a company. He put up it tent, hired a man to beat the drum, and in a few days got one recruit, and that was all he got in a month. The , Governor, thinking that he might have a company raised, wrote to ask him if he had a hundred go a men f ir o: e year, The lieutenant wrote back that he did not have a hundred good men for one year, but he had one d-d Lood man for a hundred years. ' '- ’ ' --.' ’ ■« - ■ ___-Z ■ - u AT an examination of medieal, stu¬ dents who have gone up for their de¬ grees: First Examiner—“ Guess we ought to pluck about half of these fellows. 1 never saw such an ignorant lot.” Second Examiner—“ Ssh 1 Let’s pisr them. They’ll have to call us in for consultations.”