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AMERICAN HUMOR. Supplied by Our Exchanges. “He died on the field,” she sobbed, as she stood at bis tombstone. “A gallant soldier, no doubt,” broke in a sympa Inzer. Ob, sir, no sir, he was hit by a base ball bat. Louisrille Courier-Journal. One provincial singer said to another : “My daughter has inherited my voice.” “Oh ” said the other, with the most inno cent’air, “that is the explanation, then. I have always wondered where it was.” —Le Figaro. Judge David Davis has succeeded in re ducing in weight by frequent use of anti fat nostrums from 384 to 379 pounds. He feels so light that he carries a bar of lead in each pocket to keep him on the ground. A gallant ex Confederate officer, reform ed from early drinking habits, is reported to have remarked at the club upon wedding a well known Catholic lady of Washington, “Well, boys,l’ve tried rum and rebellion, I guess I’ll now go in for Romanism.” “No play to-night” is the dramatic head ing over the Brooklyn Times’ account of the burning of Harrigan & Hart’s theatre. The Times sacrifices truth, of course, for ever since the days of Socrates the firemen have played on the ruins after such a fire. Rochester Herald. The humorqus market is dull. We quote coachmen jokes, prime, at 5 to 6 cents per million; ice cream jokes, no demand; bank cashier jokes weak at 1| cents per ton; choice plumber jokes in demand at §1 to $2 per ton. —San Francisco Post. An old poker player of Idaho City re marked the other day as he was rising from the table after a session lasting three days and nights, “I’ll be eternally honswaggled if I can tell whether this is yesterday, to day, tc-morrow, day before to-morrow or the day after yesterday.” —bait Lake Tri bune. The Topsies still exist as veritable children of nature, if one can judge from a conversation between a philanthropist and a poor person in Atlanta: “Ever been to school ?” I asked. “Naw, and do want to,” he replied. “Can you read?” “Naw.” “How old are you? ’ “Do’ no. Maw says I was born in pea time.” —Current Item. A heavy pounding on the floor above caused young Mr. Staylate to inquire of the girl on whom he was calling: Are your folks tacking down carpets this evening.' “Oh, no,” she replied, “it’s only papa put ting on his heaviest boots, and ■” Good evening,” interrupted the youth, as he dashed out of the door like a circus clown through a hoop.—New York Journal. Charley wanted to give Clara a Christ mas present, but he couldn’t make up his mind what it should b<; so the next time he called he told her the difficulty under which he was laboring. “Want to make me present, Charley?” Clara exclaimed in well disguised astonishment. Why, Charley, you forget yourself I” Charley took the hint and offered himself on the spot. “Pray my lord,” queried a gentleman of a Judge, “what is the difference between common law and equity ?’’ “Very little in the end,” responded his lordship; at common law you are done for at once, in equity you are not so easily disposed of. The former is a bullet which is instantan eously and charmingly effective; the latter an angler’s hook, which plays with the vic tim before if kills him. Common law is prussic acid; exuity is laudanum.” Cham bers Journal. “ROOGH ON RATS.” Clears out rats, mice, roaches, flies, ants ced-bugs, skunks, chipmunks, gophers. 15c Druggists. Mr. H. B. Russel, Savannah, says: “Like every one living in the South during the summer months, I have been subject to ma larial fevers. Took Brown’s Iron Bitters as a preventative and found it a success, also find it an excellent tonic.” ♦ Sweet Gum and Mullein. The sweet gum, as gathered from a tree of the same name, growing along the small streams in the Southern States, contains a stimulating expectorant principle that loos ens the phlegm producing the early morning cough, and stimulates the child to throw on the false membrane in croup and whooping cough. When combined with the healing mucilaginous principle in the mullein plant of the old fields, presents in Taylor■ s Chero kee Remedy of Sweet num and Mullein, the finest known remedy for coughs, croup, whooping cough and consumption; and so palatable any child can take it. Ask your druggist for it. Send two-cent stamp foi Tavtor’s Riddle Book, which Is not only for the amusement of the little ones, who will gather around your knee to hear the puzzling questions, but contains information for the health and welfare of every home. Manufactured by Walter A. Taylor, propri etor Taylof’s Premium Cologne, Atlanta, Ga. Mr. A. C. Wright, St. Mary’s, Ga., says : “My daughter suffered with indigestion to such an extent that it caused severe spasms, Brown’s Iron Bitters cured her; nothing else did any good.” ~ Consumers smoke “Straight Web” Cigar ettes, and will have no others, for they are the choicest, Mr. Tobias G. Brown, 175 Congress street, Savannah, says: “One bottle of Brown’s Iron Bitters completely cured me of bil liousness. I heartily recommend its use.” Wanted, 10,000 boys to smoke Favorite Ci garettes, at 5 cents per package. Mr. Robert Warwick, Savannah, says: “I have derived great benefit from the use of Brown’s Iron Bitters.” Overcoats, nobby and resonable in price, for children from 2% up, can be found in large variety at BJH. Levy A Bro.’s. “Mr. J. G. Taylor, Savannah, says: ‘,Less than one bottle of Brown’s Iron Bitters :ured me of heartburn. r Retailers can get Favorite Cigarettes from Hy. Solomon & Co., wholesale agents. Mrs. Mary Hatchett, Kingston, Ga., says: “Brown’s Iron Bitters is a most reliable med icine for scrofula.” Gentlemen in want of fine Overcoats, such as are not seen In but very few houses, can be ound atß. H. Levy & Bro.’s. Mr. C. H. Krautler, Savannah, says: “I have taken Brown’s Iron Bitters for indi gestion and loss of appetite, and found it very beneficial. Favorite Cigarettes win sweeten medlta ton. Miss Annie Dantzler, Kingston, Ga.’says: “I can testify to the good of Brown’s Iron Bitters, for loss of appetite and general de bility.” THE SAVANNAH DAILY TIMES, MONDAY, DECEMBER 29, 1884. KROUSKOFF’S Wholesale and Retail MILLINERY HO’JSE ANNOUNCEMENT! WE ARE STILL CROWDED IN OUR UPPER AND LOWER FLOORS WITH AN IMMENSE STOCK OF Fins Fall ad Mr Mfay 1 WHICH MUST BE CLOSED OUT BEFORE OUR IMPORTATION OF SPRING MILLINERY ARRIVES IN THIS PORT. WE HAVE DECIDED ON A Grand (tag Out Sale I AND OFFER THE ENTIRE STOCK OF FELT, VELVET AND STRAW HATS, TRIMMED AND UNTRIMMED, FINE PLUMES, TIPS, FRENCH FLOWERS, VELVETS AND PLUSHES, SATINS, VELVET AND SILK RIBBONS, &c., At Cost and Less than Cost WE SHALL PUT ON SALE AND ESPECIALLY DRAW THE ATTEN TION OF THE PUBLIC TO OUR French Fur Felt Hats at 75 cents. “ “ Felts, Bound, SI.OO. Wool Felts at 40 cents. TRIMMED HATS AND BONNETS! AT HALF PHICE ! AND ALL OUR OTHER GOODS AT EQUALLY LOW PRICES. BEING LARGE JOBBERS IN THESE GOODS, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO SAY THAT RETAILERS CANNOT POSSIBLY COMPETE, MORE ESPE CIALLY WHEN WE DECIDE ON CLOSING OUT. One Thousand Children’s Trimmed Felt Hats A.T 25 CENTS. THESE ARE LEFT OVER FROM LAST WINTER’S STOCK, BUT ARE PERFECTLY GOOD FOR STREET OR SCHOOL WEAR, AND ARE GOOD VALUE AT ONE DOLLAR. S. Ivlt<> US KO I F. Wholesale and Retail Millinery. M. STERNBERG, .JEWFnER. When moving into my new Store I made very extensive purchases, and compliments have been showered upon me from all sides upon my Elegant and Tasty Stock. I presumed that my stock would have been ample for the Holiday Trade, but I was com pelled, owing to the appreciation I met with, to make continual additions to my stock, and yet my purchases could hardly keep apace with Tlie Uiiprecedented Demand. I I have now made arrangements so ample that I can assure my friends and the public that after to-day my stock will be again as complete in every respect as can only be found in tne very besthouses in the leading Northern cities. MY SPECIALTIES ARE Diamonds, and the Most Celebrated and Reliable Makes of Gold Watches, and my Fancy Jewelry is not Wanting in Either Taste, Design or Workmanship. NO FANCY PRICES ! Every Article Guaranteed as Represented. My unprecedented success is summed up in these few words. No matter how ignorant one may be as to the quality or value of Jewelry, he receives honest goods at honest prices. 157 BROUGHTON ST. HOLIDAY GOODS o Finest Limoges diiiia O GIPSY SAUCERS AND PLATES. o After Dinner Coffees, Tete a Tete Sets, Dinner Sets, Tea Sets, BREAKFAST SETS, DESERT SETS, AND Toilet Sets in Endless Variety ! COLOGNE SEIS! Fancy Glassware, Lemonade Sets, FINE HAMMERED BRASS LAMPS, DOLLS And Thousands of Other Fancy Articles at Store of JOHN A. DOUGLASS & CO. 161 Broughton Street, SAVANNAH, GA CARPETS & FURNITURE AT EMIL A. SCHWARZ. RUGS ! iVT.A.’I’S! Special Inducemnt to Buyers. Having replenished my extensive stock of CARPETS by the addition of the LATEST PATTERNS, I am prepared to offer SPECIAL BARGAINS in that department. Goods at a Lower Figure than ever sold in Savannah. RUGS AND MATS. A full assortment of Smyrnagoods In Oriental and Persian designs and colorings at ower price than the common Tapestry and Velvet goods. - COVERINGS. In Coverings we have the last shades of Silk, Plashed and Sateens. Also Cretons, Reps and Turkomams for Portiers. OIL CTjOTHSL English and American sheet Oil Cloths and American goods from 1 to 2% yards wide. Antique Lace Curtains and Window Shades. Special designs, which must be seen to be appreciated. FUFtiNTTimE. Having made special arrangements with some of the leading Furniture Manufacturing Companies, we are prepared-to offer the finest assortment of FURNITTRE, at such a low figure that it will certainly be an inducement for you to refurnish. We do not publish prices as that only misleads. Call and look at the goods, and you will see that the facts are as stated ENIIE A. SCLIWAHZ, Entrance 127 Broughton street. 1 door from Bull FIRST A T A T W. J, Lindsay’s Carpet and Furniture Emporium, 169 AND 171 BROUGHTON STREET. Lace Curtains from S.'J to Per Pair Body and Tapestry Brussels Carpet at almost any Price. Ingrain and Hemp Carpets always on hand. Fringes, Felts, Canton Flannels, Raw Silks, Ramie and Jute Goods in numberless designs. Window Shades by the Gross, the Neatest and Newest Patterns Always in Stock. Pole and Adjustable Cornices, Symrna Rugs and Mats, Oil Cloths to suit the Rich and Poor. ttir A new lot of Imported CRELONNES with figures on them, just arrived. We mean business, and will sell LOW DOWN. Competent workmen. Satisfaction guaranteed. CALL EARLY, ON NV. J. LINDSAY. EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW WHY A.. FA.LK & SON, are selling their Clothing so cheap? Simply because they bought that immense wholesale stock of Clothing of this season’s manufacture, for Men, Boys, W id Children’s Bi to I Paik, and in order to reduce same, they are giving their patrons and the public generally the benefit of low prices, guaranteeing all goods as represented, or K EI’CM >l> G TH EM ONE Y O N all unsatisfactory purchases—providing the goods are returned uninjured, within TEN DAYS after purchase. Their stock is still well assorted, and they would advise all who are in need of (not cheap clothing) but CI.OriII.NG CHEAP. Give them a call before purchasing elsewhere. Remember the stand of "F A T■ K dfc? SON, THE ONE PRICE CLOTHIERS AND FURNISHERS, Successors to I. L. Falk & Co. Corner Congress, Whitaker and St. Jnlian Streets. HOLIDAY GOODS! AT A. J. MILLER & Go’s Furniture and Carpet Emporium Pios Parlor Suits and Bedroom Suits! Mirror Door Wardrobes, Combination Dressing Cases, Chiffoniers, Fine Dining Room Pieces. Also, choice assortment of NOVELTIES upholstered in Leather, Plush, Silk and Ramie. BOUQUET STANDS, BRACKETS, &C. OIK CARPET defart.ment Is also filled with a choice assortment of goods suited to this purpose. CHILD ELLIN’S DEI’AKTVIENT. FINE DOLL CARRIAGES, BUREAUS, TABLES, CHAIRS, VELOCIPEDES, &C., &C. 4®-Do not fail to inspect our stock. J. MIL I-E It Ac CO. HoLm/kY - GOODS I WILL SELL MY GOODS AS LOW AS THE LOWEST, NOT EXCEPTING PEOPLE who offer to sell at COST. Come and see me and be CONVINCED. Bargains in Diamonds Gold and Silver Watches, Gold Jewelry, Ladies’ Bar Pins, Ear Rings, Gold Pens and Pencils, S--'* Mnl Gold and Silver Headed Canes, ■tWJy Gold Spectacles. H All at the 10west prices. Great inducements in Silver Platedwaro A. L. DESBOUILLONS, No. SI Ball Street. PROVISIONS AND GROCERIES, nwnaffii A FINE MIXTURE IN 5 lb. Boxes for SI.OO. —ALSO CRYSTALIZED FRUITS, CHOCOLATES, CARAMELS, BON BONS, MARSHMALLOWS, And a large line of Choice Confections, at A. M. & C. W. WEST. New Goo<K I DEHESA RAISINS, LONDON LAYER RAISINS, SULTANA RAISINS (Seedless), LOOSE MUSCATEL RAISINSt LEGHORN CITRON, NEW CURRANTS, DRIED FIGS, PLUM PUDDING, EVAPORATED PEACHES, EVAPORATED APPLES, TABLE AND COOKING PRUNES F. L. GEOR(;e’s, Cor. State and Whitaker streets. FIREWORKS ROMAN CANDLES, (SKY ROCKETS, MINES VERTICLE WHEEL. FLOWER POTS, FIRE CRACKERS, CANNON CRACKERS -AT- BRANCH & COOPER’S. At A. DOYLES. Quinces for Preserving. Green Boot Ginger. 1 lot fine Fulton Mark’t Bee Fresh Cabbages. No. 1 Ham at 15c. “ Strip Bacon at 13ct P g’s Head at Gc. Pig’s Feet in half barrels. Hebron Beauty Potatoes, The finest Table Potatoes in the wo 2 boxes string Garlic. A. DOYLIC. Choice Family Groceries FOR THE IX O I. I I) A Y FRESH NUTS, FRESH CRACKERS, Native Wines. The Original Budweiser and Anhauser Bot tle Beer. Fresh Candles, Wilson's Crackers, Canned goods of every description. Goods delivered free in all parts of the city. Give me a call. V. S. S l l DEK. Corner of Drayton and Perry streets. ii Crocus and Ml THE TENNESSEE Id® MJ UEPOT CONSIGNMENTS RECEIVED DAILY. Fruits and Vejjetabies ALWAYS ON HAND. Corner St. Julian street and MarketSqu are PRICES REASONABLE. Christmas LaJF’XIt’JS. GENTLEMEN’S DRESSING GOWNS, GENTLEMEN’S SMOKING JACKETS, Handsome Patterns Silk Handkerch’fs FINE KID GLOVES, New Satin Scarfs and Ties, Fancy Walking Canes, Opera Glasses. LEATHER DRESSING CASES— English make. SHAVING SET’S, . Valises and Satchels I ALL WOOL UNDERSHIRTS, CAMELS HAIR UNDERSUITS. 5 BUGGY ROBES, WATERPROOF COATS- English style, cloth on one side. r , 45^ Anything needed,by gentlemen LaFAR’S, 23 Bull street. FIRST- CLASS GREEN GROCERY, O. w. TEDDER PROPRIETOR, Corner Habersham and Charlton Sts. Always on Hand the Freshest and Choicest MEATS, POULTRY AND VEGETABLES FINE VEAL AND MUTTON, COUNTRY AND YARD EGGS FBUITS OF ALL KINDS LN SEASON. I ■ Illi—l 49-All orders promptly attended to, and Goods Delivered Free In all parts of the cltyj Your patronage respectfully 3