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2 WHERE THE LAUGH COMES IN. Knocking ths Boom Clean Out of a Sensa tional Divorce Case. Detroit Free Press. He was coining down the street with a broad grin on his face, when an acquaint ance halted him and inquired if he had made a strike. "I just have !” was the reply, followed up by a hearty laugh. “My wife and I haven’t lived happily for the last year, and she has made up her mind to apply for a divorce.” “Has she ? Why, that’s too bad I” “You wouldn’t think so if you knew her She expects me to fight the proceedings, you kno. She is going to allege cruelty on my part, and for the last two weeks has been working up scary to show the jury. She’s torn up a bonnet, and will have the pieces to show what a bad temper I have. She’s cut the buttons ofi her dress, and will have i t in court as an evidence of my tyranny. She’s going before a jury to swear that I threatened her life on several occasions, and She’s got two servants to remember that I once cut her corset strings with a butcher knife. She’s calculating on a big sensa tion and a crowed court room. Ha! ha! ha!” “But where does the laugh come in ?” "Why, I skip the town for Denver to night, and she’ll have to pay her own law yer and get her bill without sensation. The papers wont give it three lines —there’ll be no jury to see the scars —no lady spectators to weep—no boom to float her into the mar ket on. If you want to see the maddest woman in the State of Michigan just drop s ound to-morrow and ring my front door bell—he! he ! he!” A D aigerous Affectation. —Mrs. B. “Oh, you must not appear so acute of hearing. It is the fashion now to pretend t o be a little deaf.” Mrs.C.—“Wei 1 , well! What affectation will be started next? But I shan’t follow that custom.” “Oh! but you must. We all do, you know.” “ Well, I shan’t, especially at Mrs. Blank’s party to-night, and I advise everybody else not to.” “ But why ? ” “ Because she always gets her daughter to khow off at the piano, and I don’t want the young torturess to think she’s got to use the loud pedal all the time.” One reason why Hunt's [Kidney andLiver] Hemeey is so popular for the cure of diseases of the kidneys, Liver and bladder, Is that it allows immediate improvements in the con dition of the patient, and recovery is steady and certain. Its cures have been so wonder ful th:il physicians of all schools prescribe it t i their practice. Too Many to the Acre. Our crop of Overcoats has been too plenti ful lor t his season, and as the weather proph ets predict mild weather for next year—lßßs and ’86 —we have decided not to burn our stock, but to put them oh the market, and sell them for what they will bring. Our Overcoats must be sold. It is only a question for you if you will take advantage of our low prices and supply yourself with an. Overcoat, and save money. We will sell you a good, strong 89 Overcoat for 86, a sls Overcoat for 812, and the finest S3O Overcoat in Savannah for S2O. Boys’ Overcoats, from 4 to 12 years old, as low as $3, Youths' Overcoats, from 12 to 17 years, from $5 up. We have plenty of fine Sults on hand which we will sell at greatly reduced prices. Rememberand buy of the “Ftwaous,” as we give a prize of half the purchase money to every twentieth purchaser. “Flmioms' New York Clothing House, 140 Congress afreet. Ripge, Mclntosh County, Ga. Dr. J. Bradfi Id—Dear Sir: I have taken ■several bottles of your Female Regulator for f alling of tile womb and other diseases com bined, of 16 years standing, and 1 really be lieve I am cured entirely, for which please ac cept my heartfelt thanks and most profound gratitude. I know your medicine saved my life, so you see I cannot speak too highly in in its favor. I have recommended it to sev eral of my friends who are suffering as I was, Y’ours, very respectfully, MRS. W. E. STEBBINS. Treatise on the Health and Happiness of Woman mailed free. Bradfield Regulator Co., Box 28. Atlanta, Ga. PILES 1 PILES!! PILES !!! Sure cure for blind, bleeding and itching piles. One box has cured the worst cases ol t wenty years’ standing. No need to suffer five minutes after using Williams’ Indian Pile Ointment. It absorbs tumors, allays itellings, acts as poultice, gives instant relief. Prepared only for piles, itching of the pri vate parts, nothing else. Hon. J. M. Coffen bury, of Cleveland, says: “1 have used scores of pile cures, and it affords me pleasure to say that I have never found anything which gives such Immediate and permanent relief as Dr. Williams’ Indian Pile Ointment.” Sold by druggists and mailed on receipt of price, 81. Sola wholesale and retail by 0. Butler, Savannah, Lippman Bros., wholesale and re tail druggists. Mrs. Rosa Shumate, Savannah, «ays : “1 have used Brown’s Iron Bitters with good result,. For dizziness and impure blood it it is unequaled. THE HARNETT HOUSE, SAVANNAH, Visitors to Savannah, Ga., will find the Harnett House a comfortable and desirable Stopping place, where the charges are mod erate, while the uniform excellence of the Cable is a subject of general remark-.-Chi s?ago National Hotel Reporter. Mrs. L Bandy, O iver street, near West Broad street, Savannah, says: “My mother end I have taken Brown’s Iron Bitters for Headache and general debility witli very beneficial results.” Look for General Lee’s picture on each package of Favorite Cigarettes. Mr. J. J. Carpenter, Augusta, Ga, says: My experience from the use of Brown’s 3 ron Bitters for indigestion has been such that I consider it a ■blessing to humanity.” .There is no smoke so nice as Favorite Ci arettes. ' Mrs. George Chambers, 188 McDonough street, Savannah, says: “I suffered from dyspepsia. Brown’s Iron Bitters completely restored my health. It also cured my son of the samecomplairit!” ’Favorite Cigarettes—just what you want py them. Mr, E. L. Sollee, Chatham Academy, i- avannah, says: “I derived very benefical -results from the use of Brown’s Iron Bit- \ ters’” Cipan teeth, head by cums and a pure I s<reatli by using Holmes' Wash and Deiiti- | 'rice. Tryabottje Mr. T-. A. Easorr;-Savannah, says: “I . suffered front weakness followed by severe : illness. Brown’s Iron .Bitters gave me ! Strength.” To be convinced call around and see L. Hried’s before making your purchases else where, as the price aZfd quality of goods sells itself. Favorite Cigarettes are-inlld, sweet and ver THE SAVANNAH DAILY TIMES, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1884. MOTHERS’ FRIEND! I This !• valuable prepa ration is truly a triumph of scientific skill, and no more inestimable benefit was ever bestowed on the mothers of the world, not only short enstne time of labor and lessens the Intensity of pain, but, better than all, it greatly diminishes the danger to life of both mother and child, and leaves the mother in a condition highly favor able to speedy recovery, and far less liable to i Hooding, convulsions and other alarming symptoms incident to lingering and painful labor. Its truly wonderful efficacy in this respect entitles the I Mothers’ Friend to be ranked as one of the life saving appliances given to the world by the dis coveries of modern sei once. From the nature of the case it will of course be understood that we cannot publish certificates con cerning the Remedy with out wounding the delicacy of the writers. Yet we have hundreds of such testimonials on file, and no mother who has once sed it will ever again be without it in her time of trouble No More Terror’.' 1 No More Pain I I ; No More Danger! TO Mother or Child. I 1 The Dread of j ’ Motherhood Transformed to HOPE and JOY. Safety and Ease TO Suffering Woman. I . A prominent physician lately remarked to the proprietor, that .if were admissible to make public the letters we receive, the‘'Mothers’Friend” would outsell anything on the market. > I most earnestly entreat every female expecting to ) lie confined, to use Mothers’ Relief. Coupled with this entreaty I will add that during a long obstetri -1 cal practice(forty-four years, I have never known it to ' fail to produce a safe and quick delivery. 11. J. HOLMES., M. D., Atlanta, Ga. i j Send for our Treatise on “Health and Happiness of ‘ Woman,” mailed free. BiiADrtELD Regulator Co., Atlanta, Ga. ) “.tUA -I-lb -W 000000 Pipe smoking is the real test of a tobacco. It is tho regal way of smoking. You got more directly at the flavor and fragrance. You take the smoke cooler, and the tonic cleanlier and safer. Pipe smoking is smoking reduced to a fine art. The more the question of adulterated tobacco forces itself on the attention of smokers, the more desirable it becomes to know precisely what you are smoking. In Blackwell’s Bull Durham Smoking To m,i,i bacco you have a guarantee, • always, that it is Nature’s own unadulterated product. Its fragrance, flavor, and unsurpassed quality, are de jd rived from the soil and air. Try it, and you will be sat iafad. None genuine with ’’W®' out tra de-mark of the Bull. Mw All successful Fishermen and Sports fflSl men smoko Blackwell’s Bull Durham Smoking Tobacco, and they enjoy it. ft ■> Sr ■LSIC IL W~ISS EMMA E ASON, 12% Marga ret street, Savannah, says: I took Brown’s Iron Bitters as a tonic with great : ’ benefit. My system was greatly impaired from chills and fever. “ < <?, ft"* From experience I think Swift’s Specific is a very valuable remedy forcutancous diseases, and at the same time an invigorating tonic. James Jackson, Chief Justice of Georgia. Atlanta, September, 1884. INOCULATED POISON.—After trying all the other remedies, Swift’s Specific has cured me sound and well of a terrible blood poison contracted from a nurse. Mrs. T. W. Lee, Greenville, Ala. POISON OAK.—A lady here has been en ti rely cured of poison-oak poison by the use of two bcttles S. S. S. R. S. Bradford, Tiptonville, Tenn. ULCERS 25 YEARS.—A member of my church has been cured of an ulcerated leg of 25 years standing, with two bottles of Swift’s Specific. P. H. Crumpler, Pastor Methodist Church, Macon, Ga. Swift’s Specific is entirely vegetable. Treat ise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free. The Sw’ift Specific Co., Drawer 3, Atlanta, . Ga., or 159 W. 23d st., N. Y. “COALI“ Fresh from tho Mines, PROMPTLY DELIVERED. Full and liberal wel<fht guaranteed. Orders by mail, telephone or given to our drivers promptly attended to. Knickerbocker Ice Co., 144 BAY STREET. PANSY PkAATS. 50 CENTS PER DOZEN. VIOLET PLANTS, 25c. per dozen. CHRYSANTHEMUM PLANTS, $1 per dozen. VERBENA PLANTS, 75c.per dozen. LILY, STAR OF BETHLFTHEM, 25c. per doz. . LILY. EASTER PLANTS, $1 per dozen. CUT FLOWERS AND DESIGNS. At Wagner’s Nursery, Thunderbolt Road, or Cr A R J > IV ER’S. 80X Bull Street. GEO.M. HELJiKENq Variety Uakery, i Cor. South Broad and East Broad streets. BREAD, CAKES and PIES of all descrip- ; tion. i CHRISTMAS CAKES a specialty. Wed- ] ding Parties supplied on reasonable term s, < Eluant k’c Sugar loil PINEAPPLES ! Large M Mow hums! Malaga Grapes! FANCY APPLES Preserves of all Kinds I ms, W M ® NUTS AND RAISINS, Currants, Figs, Dates, Prunes, &c. The above goods for sale only to the trade by J. B. Reedy Grocer and Importer of Fruit, BAY AND WHITAKER. STREETS ORANGES! ORANGES! Don’t you want a box of NICE ORANGES? I am HEADQUARTERS for the FINEST ORANGES GROWN IN FLORIDA. The Celebrated Indian River, Crescent City, “San Souci” Ind Other Choice Varieties. And have in store and on the way 1,000 BOXES for the Holiday Trade. AP r i ILS ! Arriving this week 500 barrels Choice BALD WIN'S, SPY’S and BLUE PERMAINS, Banannus, Raisins, Cocoanuts, ZNnts, Potatoes, BUTTER, CHEESE, Ke* All fresh stock and for sale low. E. E. Cheatham, IO! Bay Street. Telephone No. 273. ORANGES! Oranges ! Oranges ! 500 Boxes Selected Florida Oranges ! For the Holiday Trade. 300 BARRELS CHOICE APPLES, 100 BOXES SELECTED PEARS, 100 BASKETS GRAPES in 5 and 10ft Baskets, 100 Sacks VWglnla Hand-picked PEANUTS, LOWEST BOTTOM PRICES. 43-Now Landing and for sale at W. D. SIMKINS, Bay. Florida Oranges! CANARY BIRDS AND CAGES, GARDEN SEEDS. Fancy and Useful Baskets, Alligator Jewelry, Curiosities, Etc., at Gardner’s, BULL STREET. GUNS —AND— CUTLERY. ROGERS’ and RUSSELL’S Fine Table Knives, Fine Carvers and Steels, in Sets. A full line of Fine Pocket Knives. A full line of Fine Scissors. «3=Tbe largest stock of BREECH-LOADING Guns and IJitles Ever offered in Savannah. IKS* For sale Low by palmer bbos. 148 Congress and 151 St. Ju.ian street. PRINTER’S ROLLERS! THOMPSON’S Scuta ' Msr Coapcfc! Tlieonly reliable COMPOSITION made for theUOUTHERN CL T MATE. 4S*Compositlon by the Pound or made into Rollers at short notice. A. D. THOMPSON, 93X Bay Street Savannah, Ga MB. WM. C. WORKMAN, 110 Bay street, Sa 1U van nan, says: For two years I suffered from malaria and its dreadful effects, my physician rendering me on'y temporary re lief. In Brown’s Iron Bitters I found de-1 elded and permanent benefit. I CARPETS U, Mail mi Id! 0 ' Wilton Velvets at $1 50 per yard. Body Brussels at $1.30 per yard. Tapestry Brussels at 80c. per yard. Three-Plys at 92c. per yard. Ingrains ranging from 25c. to 75c. per yard. These prices are not only Equal, but Less than those of any Qrstr-class New York House. Smyrna Rugs and Mats from 81.25 to 85.00 each. A full line of French Canton Mattings on hand. I Would Respectfully Call Attention to My*®» NEW FALL STOCK OF DRY GOODS! In which will be found Everything Fresh and Desirable for the Approaching Season—Silks, Satins, Brocades, Velvets, Velveteens, Cashmeres, Flannels and Fancy Dress Materials in Great Variety. Black and Colored Silks and Satins have been selected with special care, and the Low Prices at which they are offered should command the attention of Cash Buyers. DEPARTMENT Has been thoroughly filled with French and English productions. Courtland’s Celebrated English Crapes and Veils a pecialty. 500 Boys’ Knee Pants Suits ranging in prices from 82.00 to 810.00. 350 Misses’ Worsted Suits, sizes 2 to 14 years, and prices from 81.00 to 810.00. banieiThogan, Southeast Corner Broughton and Barnard Streets. /// n’lq I\\\ \ \ Copyright, H. Solomon & Son. THE LATEST IMPROVED EXTRA. PATENT HOLLER PROCESS FLOUR MAKES EXCELLENT BREAD AND CAKES. #3* At;wholesale by HEINEtY SOLOMON <fc SON, SAVANNAH, GA. 100/1 A MERBY CHRISTMAS IQQE IQUI AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! lUUU TO ALL THE PATRONS Cohen’s Central Shoe Store. AND WISH TO CALL THEIR ATTENTION TO THE IMMENSE STOCK OF Boots and Shoes! Which we will Sell for the NEXT TEN DAYS at.. . Extraordinary Eow Prices ! And also ask an exaniinatidri ot an elegant a sortment'of PLAIN and FANCY ' Slippers I Slippers’ Slippers I Which are to fie sold without resePre. Bear al So in mind that to .each and every purchaser will a HANDSOME CHROMO !Na business card. ... COHEN’S CENTRAL SHOE STORE Southwest Corner Broughton and Barnard Streets. YfR. OWEN W. FLYNN, Liberty street, Sa. I jdl yannah, say«: I took Brown’s Iron Bit- ters with good results and advise others who I would have good health to follow my course | AIRS. EMMA C. DUGGON, River street, bi Savannah, says : I heartily endorse Brown’s Iron Bitters as a first-class tonic. It increased my weight nearly fifty pounds, I FAINTS, OILS, ETC. Mantels, Mantels, Mantels Call ■ :d examine my stock of Artistic Slate, Iron and Wooden Mantels Before Purchasing Elsewhere, I am offering at very low prices a full stock of BOOBS, SASHES, Blinds, Mouldings, Stair Rails, Balusters, Newell Posts, PAINTS, OILS, VARNISHES, Railroad, Steamboat, Ship and Mill Supplies, Window Glass, Putty, Brushes, &c.» &c. Also, a full line of Building, Hardware, Lime, Plaster, Hair and Cement, Plain and Decorative Wai! Paper. ANDREW HANLEY, Corner Whitaker, York and President sts. OLIAI2RS Paint and Oil Bonse, SASH, DOORS, BLINDS, Moulding, Etc IRON WORKS & BOILER MAKERS Novelty Iron Works, No. 2 Ba” and River Streets. SAVANNAH, GA., John Rourke, Proprietor, ha & Brass Mr; H achinehops I am prepared to do all kinds of Machine, Boiler & Blacksmith Work Can also furnish at shortest notice and at lowest market prices all kinds and sizes of Iron and Brass Castings, Pulleys, Shafting, etc. Saw Mill work a specialty. Manufac turer of Sampson Sngar Mills and Pans. Estimates furnished on all kinds of New Work and Repairs. Wm. W. Gnann, — AND — Ilith 1 .!: EIOBSESBOEIIVG AND GENERAL JOBBING. Has now on sale 4 fine GROCERY or COTTON WAGONS, all with steel axles md tires. Also a large lot of OAK and ASH LUMBER. give him a call. ALL WORK GUARANTEED. Nos. 6 & 8 New St., near West Broad SAVANNAH, GA. MRS. A. E. PALMER, Savannah, says : I 41 used Brown’s Iron Bitters as a tonic, and sincerely believe It to be the best made. It Imparts great strength. (SduratUnal. M ol Practical Moigs I Phono<iraj)liy, Typewriting-, Telegraphing, Bookkeeping, Penmanship. No. 137 Bay street, Savannah, Ga. Mb. and Mrs. C. S. RICHMOND, Principals. » ORIGINAL iwwr 1 I slros.C.WlHams St-Co. I V WiCriMONO.VA- _ j * FOR SALE BY non i st, Corner Bryan & AberconSls. SAVANNAH, - - - GA. R. ISAAC! MUINTOSH, Savannah, says: -LVM. For years I have suflefed from dys pepsia, trying everything with .the hope of obtaining relief. Brown’s Iron Bitters cured me andTTßinrtlly recommend it. Advertisements are only dodges to foolyou I around, but not the case at L. Fried’s, for once a call will Induce many more, as his pilces are low and the best goods for the east money.