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AMERICAN HUMOR. Supplied by Our Exchanges. Patti has a $1,500 billiard table. She got it for a soug. Congress will do nothing before the holi days, and continue the same business after ward. Nothing like keeping a crown in the fam ily. The Queen of Madagascar has married her mother’s husband. In Connecticut when a man wants office for al) the members of his family they say he’s got the hog cholera. “ “Have yon weak eyes?” said a lady to an applicant for a kitchen position who wore b.ue spectacles. “No, ma’am,” said the ap plicant, “but I scour pots and things so thoroughly that the glitter of them hurts my sight ” “I never saw such a woman in all my life,” said Bass; “you’re never satisfied with anything.” “People who knew the man I took for a husband,” replied Mrs. B , “think on the contrary that I am very easily satis tied.” Mistress of the house (to recently land ed) —“Why, Bridget, where in the world have you been in all this rain?” Bridget (d ripping wet)—“Shure, an’ oive been hang ing out the clothes to dhry, mum.”—De t.-oit Post. A recent Ohio paper contained the fol lowing advertisement: “A citizen wishes to find the sum of §50,000. If any one will tell him where to find it, he will give half of the money.”—New York News. ggßattlesnake poison is awful. A Florida cow was bitten and died immediately. Six blizzards that fed on the carcass died soon after, and a newspaper reporter was found lying in the vicinity.—Lowell Courier. They say there is a girl in the Telephone Exchange who is so awfully homely that when she looks at the other girls’ sections the indicators all drop. Her own indicators are accustomed to it. —Brooklyn Times. As the result of an eh ction bet, a Con necticut girl will kiss a prominent citizen of Bridgeport on March 4th. The P. C. is looking around for some means of escaping the ordeal, failing which, he will go into • training for the perilous event. The fresh looking individual had arrived quite late at the athletic tournament, and being ignorant of the order of exercises. h? tily accosted a bystander and inquired, “When does the tug of war come?” “When Greek meets Greek, of course;” answered the bystander, with a classic smile, “ask me something new I His Source of Revenue—“ How are you finding business, doctor?” was asked of a physician. “Capital,” he replied. “I have all" I can attend to.” I didn’t understand that there was very much sickness about.” “No, there isn’t. But we physicians do not depend upon sickness for an income. Oh, my, no; most of our money is made from people who have nothing the matter with them.” _ "KODGH ON KATS.” Clears out rats, mice, roaches, flies, ants oed-bugs, skunks, chipmunks, gophers. 15c Druggists. “How can Mrs. Smith wear speh a hand some velvet coat?” My dear children, don’t you know her husband used to pay all his money to doctors, but since he took to using Dr. Bull’s Cough Syrup he give it all to her to spend. Miss Ida Haddock, Savannah, writes: “Brown’s Iron Bitters relieved me of weak back and nervous depression, caused by in digestion. It also has gone far toward re lieving me of that distressing disease exze ma —pronounced by many incurable.” YOUNG MEN!—READ HIS. The Voltaic Belt Co., of Marshall, Mich., ofi'er to send their celebrated Electro-Voltaic Belt and other Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days, to men (young or old( afflict ed with nervous debility, loss of vitality and manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis, and many other diseases. Complete restoration to health, vigor and manhood guaranteed. No risk is Incurred, as thiry days’ trial is al lowed Write for them al once for Illustrated pamphlet free. Mr. A. C. Wright, St. Mary’s, Ga., says : “My daughter suffered with indigestion to such an extent that it caused severe spasms, Brown's Iron Bitters cured her; nothing else did any good.” Dr. Bosanko. This name has become so familiar with the most of people throughout the United States that it is hardly necessary to state that he is the originator of the great Dr, Bosanko Cough and Lung Syrup, the people’s favorite remedy, wherever known, for Coughs, Colds, Consumption and all affections of the Throat and Lungs. Price 50 cents and 81.00. Sold by Osceola Butler and E. J. Kieffer.—Adv. Consumers smoke “Straight Web” Cigar ettes, and will have no others, for they are the choicest, Mr. Tobias G. Brown, 175 Congress street. Savannah, says: “One bottle of Brown’s Iron Bitters completely cured me of bil— liousness. I heartily recommend its use.” Wanted, 10,000 boys to smoke Favorite Ci garettes, at 5 cents per package. Mr. Robert Warwick, Savannah, says: “I have derived great benefit from the use of Brown’s Iron Bitters.” Overcoats, nobby and resonable In price, for children from 2% up, can be found in large variety at B; H. Levy & Bro.’s. “Mr. J. G. Taylor, Savannah, says: ‘ ( Less than one bottle of Brown’s Iron Bitters cured me of heartburn. " Retailers can get Favorite Cigarettes from Hy. Solomon & Co., wholesale agents. Mrs. Mary Hatchett, Kingston, Ga., says: “Brown’s Iron Bitters is a most reliable med icine for scrofula.” Gentlemen in want of tine Overcoats, such as are not seen in but very few houses, can be ound at B. H. Levy A Bro.’s. Mr. C. H. KrautJer, Savannah, says: “I have taken Brown’s Iron Bitters for indi gestion and loss of appetite, and found it very beneficial. Favorite Cigarettes will sweeten m< dita ton. Miss Annie Dantzler, Kingston, Ga, says: “I can testify to the good of Brown’s Iron Bitters, for loss of appetite and general de bility.” Osceola Butler and E. J. Kieffer, the drug gists, whoare always looking after the inter est of their customers, have now secured the sale of Dr. Bosanko’s Cough and Lung Syrup, a remedy that never fails to cure Colds, Pains in the Chest and all Lung Affections. For proof try a free sample bottle. Regu lar size 50 cents and Jl.—Adv. THE SAVANNAH DAILY TIMES, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1884. KROUSKOFF’S Wholesale and Retail MILLINERY HOUSE 1 ANNOUNCEMENT! WE ARE STILL CROWDED IN OUR UPPER AND LOWER FLOORS WITH AN IMMENSE STOCK OF Fine Fall d Mr Mfcry! WHICH MUST BE CLOSED OUT ; BEFORE OUR IMPORTATION OF SPRING MILLINERY ARRIVES IN THIS PORT. WE HAVE DECIDED ON A Grand Clearing Out Sale I AND OFFER THE ENTIRE STOCK OF FELT, VELVET AND STRAW HATS, TRIMMED AND UNTRIMMED, FINE PLUMES, TIPS, FRENCH FLOWERS, VELVETS AND PLUSHES, SATINS, VELVET AND SILK RIBBONS, &c., At Cost and Less than Cost WE SHALL PUT ON SALE AND ESPECIALLY DRAW THE ATTEN TION OF THE PUBLIC TO OUR French Fur Felt Hats at 75 cents. “ “ Felts, Bound, SI.OO. Wool Felts at 40 cents. TRIMMED HATS AND BONNETS! at iiai.i 1 i’iik i: i AND ALL OUR OTHER GOODS AT EQUALLY LOW PRICES. BEING LARGE JOBBERS IN THESE GOODS, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO SAY THAT RETAILERS CANNOT POSSIBLY COMPETE, MORE ESPE CIALLY WHEN WE DECIDE ON CLOSING OUT. One Thousand Children’s Trimmed Felt Hats AT 35 CKNTS. THESE ARE LEFT OVER FROM LAST WINTER’S STOCK, BUT ARE PERFECTLY GOOD FOR STREET OR SCHOOL WEAR, AND ARE GOOD VALUE AT ONE DOLLAR. K R O I S K O I F. Wholesale and Retail Millinery. M. STERNBERG, JEWELER. When moving into my new Store I made very extensive purchases, and compliments have been showered upon me from all sides upon my Elegant and Tasty Stock. I presumed that my stock would have been ample for the Holiday Trade, but I was com pelled, owing to the appreciation I met with, to make continual additions to my stock, and yet my purchases coula hardly keep apace with The Unprecedented Demand ! I have now made arrangements so ample that I can assure my friends and the public that after to-day my stock will be again as complete in every respect as can only be found in the very best houses in the leading Northern cities. MY SPECIALTIES ARE Diamonds, and the Most Celebrated and Reliable Makes of Gold Watches, and my Fancy Jewelry is not Wanting in Either Taste, Design or Workmanship. NO FANCY PRICES I Every Article Guaranteed as Represented. My unprecedented success is summed up in these few words. No matter how ignorant one may be as to the quality or value of Jewelry, he receives honest goods at honest prices. Evi. STERNTBERG, HO LID A Y G 0 0 D S o * Finest Limoges China. o GIPSY SAUCERS AND PLATES. After Dinner Coffees, Tete a Tete Sets, Dinner Sets, Tea Sets, BREAKFAST SETS, DESERT SETS, AND Toilet Sets in Endless Variety I COLOGNE SETS ! Fancy Glassware, Lemonade Sets, FINE HAMMERED BRASS LAMPS, -W -A. X ID O L. Hi S ! And Thousands of Other Fancy Articles at Store of JOHN A. DOUGLASS & CO. 161 Broughton Street, SAVANNAH, GA CARPETS & FURNITURE AT EMIL A. SCHWARZ. I RUGS ! TVI7KTJS! I Special Inducemnt to Buyers. „ n, a . vln ? replenished my extensive stock of CARPETS by the addition of the LATEST PAI TERNS, 1 am prepared to offer SPECIAL BARGAINS In that department. Goods at a Lower Figure than ever sold in Savannah. HUGS Yl\l> MATS. A full assortment of Smyrna goods in Oriental and Persian designs and colorings at ower price than the common Tapestry and Velvet goods. COVERINTGrS. In Coverings we have the last shades of Bilk, Flushed and Sateens. Also Cretons, Beps and Turkomams for Portiers. OIL CLOTHS. English and American sheet Oil Cloths and American goods from 1 to 2% yards wide. Antique Lace Curtains and Window Shades. Special designs, which must be seen to be appreciated. FTTRNTITURE. Having made special arrangements with some of the leading Furniture Manufacturing Companies, we are prepared to offer the finest assortment Os FURNITTRE, at such a low figure that it will certainly be an inducement for you to refurnish. We do not publish prices as that only misleads. Call and look at the goods, and you will see that the facts are as stated EMIL A_. SCHWARZ, Entrance 127 Brong'hton street. 1 dnor from Bull. CI.AISS M TOCK A T LOW F»HICE3IS A T i J. Lindsay’s Carpst asi Furniture Emporiuna, 169 AND 171 BROUGHTON STREET. Lace Curtains from. to SI.I Per Pair Body and Tapestry Brussels Carpet at almost any Price. Ingrain and Hemp Carpets always on hand. Fringes, Felts, Canton Flannels, Raw Silks, Ramie and Jute Goods in numberless designs. Window Shades by the Gross, the Neatest and Newest Patterns Always in Stock. Pole and Adjustable Cornices, Symrna Rugs and Mats, Oil Cloths to suit the Rich .and Poor. 38* A new lot of Imported CRELONNES with figures on them, just arrived. We mean business, and will sell LOW LOWN. Competent workmen. Satisfaction guaranteed. CALL LAKLY, ON W. J. LINDSAY. EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW WHY TV. FALK & SON, are selling their Clothing so cheap? Simply because they bought that immense wholesale stock of Clothing of this season’s manufacture, for Men, Boys, W mi Chita's Wear ta 2. Faik, and in order to reduce same, they are giving their patrons and the public generally the benefit of low prices, guaranteeing all goods as represented, or I?EF UN I) IN G THE MONEY 7 OTV all unsatisfactory purchases—providing the goods are returned uninjured, within TEN DAYS after purchase. Their stock is still well assorted, and they would advise all who are in need of (not cheap clothing) but CLOTIIIAG CHEAP. Give them a call before purchasing elsewhere. Remember the stand of A.. FA JC, K «fc SOIV. THE ONE PRICE CLOTHIERSAND FURNISHERS, Successors to I. L. Falk & Co. Corner Congress, Whitaker and St. Julian Streets. HOLIDAY GOODS ! AT A. J. MILLER & Go’s Furniture and Carpet Emporium Pine Farlcr Sub and Beta Suits! Mirror Door Wardrobes, Combination Dressing Cases, Chiffoniers, Fine Dining Room Pieces. Also, choice assortment of NOVELTIES upholstered in Leather, Plush, Silk and Ramie. BOUQUET STANDS, BRACKETS, &c. OUR CARPET DEPARTMENT Is also filled with a choice assortment of goods suited to this purpose. CHILDREN’S DEPARTMENT. FINE DOLL CARRIAGES, BUREAUS, TABLES, CHAIBS, VELOCIPEDES, &C., &C. jWDo not fail to Inspect our stock. jV. J. MILL Elt Ac CO. holiday goods I WILL SELL MY GOODS AS LOW AS THE LOWEST, NOT EXCEPTING PEOPLE who offer to sell at COST. Come and see me and be CONVINCED. Bargains in Diamonds Gold and Silver Watches, Gold Jewelry, JBQjr z Ladies’ Bar Pins, Ear Rings, Gold Pens and Pencils, Gold and Silver Headed Canes, Gold Spectacles. ' 11 All at the lowest prices. Great;inducements in Silver Plated ware ~ A T ~ Y. L. DI2SBOLILLONS, ■No. rwl Unll Street.-r-- PKOVISIONS AND GROCERIES. A FINE MIXTURE IN 5 lb. Boxes for SI.OO. —ALSO— CRYSTALIZED FRUITS, CHOCOLATES* CARAMELS, BON BONS, MARSHMALLOWS, And a large line of Choice Confections, as X. M. &J. w. WEST. New Grooclss. DEHESA RAISING, LONDON LAYER RAISINS, SULTANA RAISINS (Seedless), LOOSE MUSCATEL RAISINS, LEGHORN CITRON, NEW CURRANTS, DRIED FIGS, PLUM PUDDING, EVAPORATED PEACHES, EVAPORATED APPLES, TABLE AND COOKING PRUNES U. D. GEORGE’S, Cor. State and Whitaker streets. FIBEWOKKS ROMAN CANDLES, .SKY ROCKETS, MINES, VERTICLE WHEEL FLOWER POTS, FIRE CRACKERS, CANNON CRACKERS -AT- BRANCH & COOPER’S. At A. DOYLES. Quinces for Preserving. Green Hoot Ginger. I lot tine Fulton Mark’t Bee Fresh Cabbages. No. 1 Ham at 15c. “ Strip Bacon at 13ci P. g’s Head at Gc. Pig’s Feet in half barrels Hehron Beauty Potatoes, The finest Table Potatoes in the wo 3 boxes string Garlic. V. DOYLE. Choice Family Groceries FOR THE II O L I I > V Y FRESH NUTS, FRESH CRACKERS, Wines. The Original Budweiser and Anhauser Bot tle Beer. Fresh Candies, Wilson’s Crackers, Canned goods of every description. Goods delivered free in all parts of the city. Give me a call. V. S. STUDER, Corner of Drayton and Perry streets. Inin It itau jjj raaiiies. THE TENNESSEE m HD POULTRT W CONSIGNMENTS RECEIVED DAILY. Fruits an<l Ves’etatneas ALWAYS ON HAND. Corner St. Julian street and MarketSqu aro PRICES REASONABLE. Christmas LaFAR’S. GENTLEMEN’S DRESSING GOWNS, GENTLEMEN’S SMOKING JACKETS, Handsome Patterns Silk HamlkerclTfs FINE KID GLOVES, New Satin Scarfs and Ties, Fancy Walking Canes, Opera Glasses. LEATHER DRESSING CASES— EnglisD make. SHAVING SETS, Valises and Satchels ALL WOOL UNDERSHIRTS, CAMELS HAIR UNDERSUITS. BUGGY ROBES, WATERPROOF COATS- Engllsh style, cloth on one side. Anything needed by gentlemen AT L.iFAIUS. FIRST- CLjVSS GREEN GROCERY, 13. W. TEDDER PROPRIETOR, Corner Habersham and Charlton Sts. Alwavs on Hand the Freshest and Choicest MEATS, POULTRY AND VEGETABLES FINE VEAL AND MUTTON, COUNTRY AND YARD EGGS FRUITS OF ALL KINDS LN SEASON. 1 1»-A11 orders promptly attended to, anff Goods Delivered Free in all parts of the oitjj Your patronage respectfully wUeiteOrmt 3