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AMERICAN HUMOR. Supplied by Our Exchanges. The best string to pull forpeople at this season of the year —A card of wood. 1 How did you learn to carve out your way through the world?” said an unsucce. ful man to a prosperous one the other day. “By cutting up boarding house chickens, was the reply. Now that Mr. Fred Grant has gone into business as a florist, he ought to take Mr. Fred Ward into partnership. Jf they were half as successful selling roses as they were selling their fellow-men they’d soon be mill ionaires. An irascible Indian colonel declared, at a game of whist, that he had never held a trump in his life. “That is impossible remarked a young man; you must have held a trump when you dealt.” re P^ le d the old Indian, “I always misdealt. Jones-Why, my boy, what’s the matter? you look ill. What did you have after we parted last night? “Nothing, except half a dozen raw.” “I thought so. Remember hereafter that it’s the last raw that breads the camel’s back.”--Philadelphia Call. “See here, Mr. Scales,” said Mrs. Jarphly, impatiently, “if you don’t give me that pound of butter I’m going home. Hold on, Mrs. Jarphly,” remonstrated the grocer; the boy is busy getting it. Don’t go, youill only have a short weight.”-Pittsburg Tele graph. A personal item informs us that Vic.or Hugo mostly goes to bed. on a cracker and a herring.” A funny notion, that. If the cracker should get mashed and scatter it self, Victor would be apt to pass a very restless night.—Norristown Herald. There is either a very waggish or very fresh telegraph operator at one of the re cently established telegraph stations in New Mexico. On Christmas eve he sent the following dispatch: “New Mexico, Dec. 24—To Jay Gould, New York : A Christ mas gift- Steele, Operator. Collect. Tt e unpaid charges on the message were §1 50, which Mr. Gould was called upon to pay for the privilege of receiving a friendly greeting from Mr. Steele. Senator Sharon’s counsel says his client is “very much annoyed” at the decision which makes Miss Hill his [the Senator’s] wife. People will be surprised at this statement. If Senator Sharon had laughed at the de cision, if he had thrown up his hat and “hoop la’d” at it, if he had turned a somer sault in celebration of it after spending thousands of dollars to have it otherwise, it would have been cpiite natural, of course; but to say that the Senator is “very much annoyed” at a decision he fought so long and so stubbornly to avert is a wonder, in deed. It takes a lawyer sometimes to spring a surprise upon the people. Na Wonder McGargle Wears a Subdued Look. Exchange. “Say, Thompson,” said an acquaintance, “doesn’t it look as though McGargle was rather subdued-like nowadays?” “Subdued !” answered Thompson. “Well, 1 should most emphatically say, yes. That’s a very quiet family, just now, that of Mc- Gargle’s.” “How so ?” “Why, you see McGargle kissed his moth er-in-law on the back stairs the other even ing, mistaking her for the hired girl.” jsg. Pleased to See Both. A slim youth, accompanied by a pug dog and chain attachment, met a young lady on Fifth avenue whom he knew. He walked by her side until her residence was gained, when she invited him in. “Aw, thawnks; awfully much pleased, I’m suah,” he . said, “but —er —the dog, y’know ” “Oh, the dog won’t make the slightest difference. Dear little fellow! Mamma will be glad to see you both.” LIFE PRESERVER. If you are losing your grip on life, try Wells’ Health Renewer.” Goes direct to eak spots. BUSINESS NOTICES. You will have nothing else if you try “Straight Web” Cigarettes, just once. If you watt a good fitting shirt, either white or fancy, try L. Fried. Favorite Cigarettes—just what you want buy them. Try L. Fried’s 81.00 white shirts for fit and quality. The prettiest goods for men, youths and boys in the city can be found at B. H Levy A Bro.’s. There is no smoke so nice as Favorite Ci garettes. For the latest stvleand low nrlces in gents furnishing goods, L. Fried’s is ihe pie <e- Look for General Lee’s picture on each package of Favorite Cigarettes. Gentlemen in want of fine Overcoats, such as are not seen in but very few houses, can be found at B. H. Levy & Bro.’s. Favorite Cigarettes are mild, sweet and very fine. Overcoats, nobby and resonable in price, for children from 2% up, can be found in large variety at B. H. Levy & Bro.’s. Favorite Cigarettes wi'l sweeten mcdita ton. Clean teeth, healthy gums and a pure breath by using Holmes’ Wash and Denti frice. Try a bottle. Retailers can get Favorite Cigarettes from Hy. Solomon & Co., wholesale agents. Linen culls 20 ents or three pair for 60 cent# at L. Fried’.. Favorite Cigarettes will sooth your troubles See below. Linen collars, latest styles, standing and t ’rn-down, reduced from 15 to 10 ce at L r rled’s. Wanted, 10,000 boys to smoke Favorite Ci garettes, at 5 cents per package. Look through the locals for cheap. dres s goods at L. Frieds. Consumers smoke “Straight Web” Cigar ettes, and will have no others, for they are the choicest. For latest style fancy percale g Peocan and shirts L. Fried’s is the place. Advertisements are only dodges to foolyou around, but not the case at L. Fried's, for once a call will induce many more, as his prices are low and the best goods for the least money. To be convinced call around and see L. Fried’s before making your purchases else where, as the price and quality of goods sells itself. At L. Fried’s, the reason you are not forced or talked half to death to buy goods you do not like,is because he carries a large and well selected stock. Also sells so cheap that you will find it no trouble to buy or get suited,as he Intends to carry out as he advertises. For the accommodation of our patrons we have established a Tailoring Department, where any garment bought of us can be al tered to suit the taste of the most fastidious, free of charge. We invite the public to call and look through our establishment, which is by far the largest in the * Bbo.’s THE SAVANNAH DAILY TIMES, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1884. KROUSKOFF’S Wholesale and Retail MILLINERY HOUSE ANNOUNCEMENT! WE ARE STILL CROWDED IN OUR UPPER AND LOWER FLOORS WITH AN IMMENSE STOCK OF Fine Fill mil Wit Millinery! WHICH MUST BE CLOSED OUT BEFORE OUR IMPORTATION OF SPRING MILLINERY ARRIVES IN THIS PORT. WE HAVE DECIDED ON A , U Clearing Ont Sale I AND OFFER THE ENTIRE STOCK OF FELT, VELVET AND STRAW HATS, TRIMMED AND UNTRIMMED, FINE PLUMES, TIPS, FRENCH FLOWERS, VELVETS AND PLUSHES, SATINS, VELVET AND SILK RIBBONS, &c., At Cost and Less than Cost WE SHALL PUT ON SALE AND ESPECIALLY DRAW THE ATTEN TION OF THE PUBLIC TO OUR French Fur Felt Hats at 75 cents. “ “ Felts, Bound, SI.OO. Wool Felts at 40 cents. TRIMMED HATS AND BONNETS! Al' 11 AA .1' PRICE ! AND ALL OUR OTHER GOODS AT EQUALLY LOW PRICES. BEING LARGE JOBBERS IN THESE GOODS, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO SAY THAT RETAILERS CANNOT POSSIBLY COMPETE, MORE ESPE CIALLY WHEN WE DECIDE ON CLOSING OUT. One Thousand Children’s Trimmed Felt Hats AT 25 CENTS. THESE ARE LEFT OVER FROM LAST WINTER’S STOCK, BUT ARE PERFECTLY GOOD FOR STREET OR SCHOOL WEAR, AND ARE GOOD VALUE AT ONE DOLLAR. KRO ISROII\ Wholesale and Retail Millinery. M. STERNBERG, When moving into my new Store I made very extensive purchases, and compliments have been showered upon me from all sides upon my Elegant and Tasty Stock. I presumed that my stock would have been ample for the Holiday Trade, but I was com pelled, owing to the appreciation I met with, to make continual additions to my stock, and yet my purchases could hardly keep apace with Tlie Unprecedented Demand I I have now made arrangements so ample that I can assure my friends and the public that after to-day my stock will be again as complete in every respect as can only be found in the very best houses in the leading Northern cities. MY SPECIALTIES ARE Diamonds, and the Most Celebrated and Reliable Makes of Gold Watches, and my Fancy Jewelry is not Wanting in Either Taste, Design or Workmanship. NO FANCY PRICES ! Every Article Guaranteed as Represented. Mv unprecedented success is summed up in these few words. No matter how ignorant one may be as to the quality or value of Jewelry, he receives honest goods at honest prices. IMC. STERNBERG, 157 bhoughton st. HOL IDA Y GO 00 S Finest Limoges diina< o GIPSY SAUCERS AND PLATES. After Dinner Coffees, Tete a Tete Sets, Dinner Sets, Tea Sets, BREAKFAST SETS, DESERT SETS, AND Toilet Sets in Endless Variety I COLOGNE SETS I Fancy Glassware, Lemonade Sets, FINE HAMMERED BRASS LAMPS, W A. X X> O L I# S ! And Thousands of Other Fancy Articles at Store of JOHN A. DOUGLASS & CO. 161’Bronghton Street, SAVANNAH, GA CARPETS & FURNITURE AT | EMEL A. SCHWARZ. H-TTG-e ! MATS! Special Inducemnt to Buyers. Having replenished my extensive stock of CARPETS by the addition of the LATEST PATTERNS, fam prepared to offer SPECIAL BARGAINS in that department. Goods at a Lower Figure than ever sold in Savannah. RUGS jLJN I> MATS. A full assortment of Smyrna goods in Oriental and Persian designs and colorings at ower price than the common Tapestry and Velvet goods. COVERINGS. In Coveriugs we have the last shades of Silk, Blushed and Sateens. Also Cretons, Reps and Turkomams for Poolers. OIL CEOTHS. English and American sheet Oil Cloths and American goods from 1 to 2% yards wide. Antique Lace Curtains and Window Shades. Special designs, which must be seen to be appreciated. Having made special arrangements with some of the leading Furniture Manufacturing Companies, we are prepared to offer the finest assortment of FURNITTRE, at such a low figure that it will certainly be an inducement for you to refurnish. We do not publish prices as that only misleads. Call and look at the goods, and you will see that the facts are as stat ed EMIL A. SCHWARZ, Entrance 127 Broughton street. 1 door from Bull. FIRST CJLASS STOCK A T LOW A T W, J. Lindsay’s Carpet nd Furniture Emporium, 169 AND 171 BROUGHTON STREET. Lace Curtains from. S 3 to tSI-T Per Pai r Body and Tapestry Brussels Carpet at almost any Price. Ingrain and Hemp Carpets always on hand. Fringes, Felts, Canton Flannels, Raw Silks, Ramie and Jute Goods in numberless designs. Window Shades by the Gross, the Neatest and Newest Patterns Always in Stock. Pole and Adjustable Cornices, Symrna Rugs and Mats, Oil Cloths to suit the Rich and Poor, Us- A new lot of Imported CRELONNES with figures on them, just arrived. We mean business, and will sell LOW DOWN. Competent workmen. Satisfaction guaranteed. CALL EARLY. ON W. J. LINDSAY. EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW WHY TV. FALK & SON, are selling their Clothing so cheap? Simply because they bought that immense wholesale stock of Clothing of this season’s manufacture, for Ma, Boys, W ad Eiffl'i Bi to I. Talk, and in order to reduce same, they are giving their patrons and the public generally the benefit of low prices, guaranteeing all goods as represented, or IfE I’ UN J > IX r II E M O X E Y OX all unsatisfactory purchases—providing the goods are returned uninjured, within TEN DAYS after purchase. Their stock is still well assorted, and they would advise all who are in need of (not cheap clothing) but CEO'I HIM. CHEAI*. Give them a call before purchasing elsewhere. Remember the stand of A- FALK. «fc SOTV, THE ONE PRICE CLOTHIERS AND FURNISHERS, Successors to I. L. Falk & Co. Corner Congress, Whitaker and St. Julian Streets. HOLIDAY GOODS! at A. J. MILLER & Go’s Furniture and Carpet Emporium Fins Parlor Suits aad Bibs Suits! Mirror Door Wardrobes, Combination Dressing Cases, Chiffoniers, Fine Dining Room Pieces Also choice assortment of NOVELTIES upholstered in Leather, Plush, Silk and Ramie. BOUQUET STANDS, BRACKETS, &c. OUT! CARPET DEPARTMENT Is also filled with a choice assortment of goods suited to this purpose. CHILDREN’S DEPARTMENT. FINE DOLL CARRIAGES, BUREAUS, TABLES, CHAIRS, V ELOCIPEDES, &c„ &c. 189-Do not fail to inspect our stock. A.. J. MILLER Ac CO. GOODS T WILL SELL MI GOODS AS LOW AS THE LOWEST, NOT EXCEPTING PEOPLE who offer to sell at COST. Come and see me and be CONVINCED. Bargains in Diamonds Gold and Silver Watches, Gold Jewelry, Ladies’ Bar Pins, Ear Rings, Gold Pens and Pencils, M ver Hea<^ Canes, Gold Spectacles. A - u at lhe loweßt prices, Greatjinducements in Silver Platedware yV. L. DKSBOUIALONS, No. Bull Street.- - 3 PROVISIONS AND GROCER ES. New Orleans I fa Orleans Syrup RECEIVED DIRECT B Y A. M. & C. W. WEST. New Goods. DEHESA RAISINS, LONDON LAYER RAISINS, SULTANA RAISINS (Seedless), LOOSE MUSCATEL RAISINS, LEGHORN CITRON, NEW CURRANTS, DRIED FIGS, PLUM PUDDING, EVAPORATED PEACHES, EVAPORATED APPLES, TABLE AND COOKING PRUNES F. L. GEORGE’S, Cor. State and Whitaker streets. FIREWORKS ROMAN CANDLES, .SKY ROCKETS, VERTICLE WHEEL. MINES, FLOWER POTS, FIRE CRACKERS, CANNON CRACKERS -AT- BRANCH & COOPER’S. AtTDOYLE’S. Quinces for Preserving. Green Root Ginger. L lot fine Fulton Mark’t Bee Fresh Cabbages. No. 1 Ham at 15c “ Strip Bacon at 13c. P. g’s Head at 6c. Pig’s Feet in half barrels Hebron Beauty Potatoes, The finest Table Potatoes in the wo 2 boxes string GarHc. A. IDO YLE. Choice Family Groceries FOR THE HO Kll> aA Y >S FRESH NUTS, FRESH CRACKERS, TVative "Wines. The Original Budweiser and Anhauser Bot tle Beer. Fresh Candies, Wilson's Crackers, Canned goods of every description. Goods delivered free in all parts of the city, &S- Give me a call. V. S. STUDER, Corner of Drayton and Perry streets. Inta io Grocers ad Ms. THE TENNESSEE m Ml Nlffl w CONSIGNMENTS RECEIVED DAILY. Fruits ami Vegetables ALWAYS ON HAND. Corner St. Julian street and MarketSqu are PRICES REASONABLE. FIRST- CLASS GREEN GROCERY, S. W. TEDDER PROPRIETOR, Corner Habersham and Charlton Sts. Alwavs on Hand the Freshest and Choicest MEATS, POULTRY AND VEGETABLES FINE VEAL AND MUTTON, COUNTRY AND YARD EGGS FRUITS OF ALL KINDS IN SEASON. 49-All orders promptly attended to, and Goods Delivered Free in all parts of the city. Your patronage respectfully solicited.*®* Christmas -AT LaFAR’S. 1 GENTLEMEN’S DRESSING GOWNS, GENTLEMEN'S SMOKING JACKETS, Handsome Patterns Silk Handkerch’fs FINE KID GLOVES, New Satin Scarfs and Ties, Fancy Walking; Canes, Opera Glasses. LEATHER DRESSING CASES— English make. SHAVING SETS, Valises and Satchels ALL WOOL UNDERSHIRTS, CAMELS HAIR UNDERSUITS. BUGGY ROBES, WATERPROOF COATS- English style, cloth on Anything needed jiy gentlemen LaFAR’S, 23 Bun street,