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AMERICAN HUMOK.
Supplied by Our Exchanges.
“Now that,” said farmer Furrow, who
was teaching his wife to play poker, “now
that beats a full hand,” and he laid down
four deuces. “Why, John,” said the little
woman, “isn’t it a pity I didn’t know that
last summer when our hired man came
home drunk?”
k One of the Japanese students, while out
for a s roll, was accosted by a sophomore
with the inquiry, “What’s your name?”
The gentleman from Japan answered po
litely, giving his surname. “Oh,” rejoined
the questioner, “you heathens don’t have
but one name, I see.” What was the first
name of Moses?” was the reply.—Harvard
Lampoon.
“Pa,” said Johnny Spriggins, as he looked
up from his “joggerphy,” “where is Logans
port ?” “There isn’t any such p'ace, my
son. Logan isn’t having any sport just now,”
replied the cruel parent, with a ghastly
smile, as he put on his hat, won on Cleve
land, and went out to a Democratic jubilee.
—Life.
There is a charming absence of circumlo
cution about the following verdict recently
rendered by a coroner’s jury over the re
mains of a well-known drunkard: “The
feller come ter his death by switchin’ ofl
from one kind o’ whisky ter another. The
moral o’ this hear verdick is, don’t switch.”
Scene, India. Officer inspecting ranks,
Sergeant Major following. Officer: Private
Atkins hasn’t shaved this morning, S-rgeant
Major. Sergeant Major: He is going to
let his beard grow, sir. Officer: I can’t
have men coming on parade like this. Any
man wanting to grow a beard must do it in
his own time and not on parade.
Girl in Blue: There’s young Mr. Dunder
son over there; don’t you think he is just
splendid? Girl in Red: Splendid! Why, he
took me buggy riding last week and tiled to
kiss me! Girl in Blue: Well? Girl in Red:
’Well, he put his arm around me, and, and,
of course, I told him just to behave himself.
Girl in Blue; Well? Girl in Red: Well, he
behaved himself. Both: Ugh!—San Fran
cisco Post.
How should he know: “You don’t seem as
friendly to that Boston girl as you were?”
“No. We were out riding the other evening,
and I put my arm around her and told her
I loved her.” “Did she refuse you?” “No,
not exactly. She looked at me over her
eyeglasses and remarked: ‘Mr. Jones, do
you know what a protoplasm is?”’ “What
did you say?” “Say?” replied Mr. Jones,
with deep disgust. “What could I say? I
I never was in Boston.”
First officer: ‘ That was a very mysterious
case of suicide last night, wasn’t it?” He
was young, well dressed and apparently well
tc do. Not a bit like the ordinary suicide.”
Second officer; “I don’t tee that there was ,
anything very mysterious about it. It struck
me that it was a very mysterious case.” -
“Bat there was nothing found on him to |
indicate the cause for the deed.” “0 yes, ,
there was.” “What was it?” “His marriage
certificate.”
A Broken Hearted Negro.
Arkansaw Traveller.
A man bought, by weight, a turkey from
an old negro. When he took the fowl home •
he di-covered some five or six pounds of
lead in the cavity reserved for oysters. In
dignant at such an outrage, he sought the
negro and exclaimed :
““Look here, you old thief, what did you
ire in ?”
“Loan say nuffin’, boss. I'se broken
hearted.”
“What’s the matter with you?”
“Wife got drowned in de ribber.”
“I’m sorry for that.”
“Oh, it’s awful, sah. Ah, Lawd, what’s
goin’ ter come of my po’ chilun?”
Ihe gentleman went out and the negro
said, “Didn’t make so much offen dem
blame shot. Cost me ten cents er poun’.
Dese white folks is harder ter get erlong
wid ebery day.”
BUSINESS NOTICES.
Clean teeth, healthy gums, a pure breath,by
using Holmes’ Wash and Dentifrice.
Look through the locals for cheap dress
goods at L. Frieds.,
Gentlemen in want of fine Overcoats, such
as are not seen in but very few houses, can be
f 3’ind at B. H. Levy 4 Bro.’s.
Linen cuffs 20 ents or three pair for 50 cent*
at L. Fried’s.
Linen collars, latest styles, stan ling and
t im-down, reduced from 15 to 10 ce * at L
Fried’s.
Nursing sore mouth and ulcers cured by
using Holmes’ Wash. Try it.
For latest style fancy percale g Peocan and
Shirts L. Fried’s Is the rlaoe
Try L. Fried’s 81.00 white shirts for fit and
quality.
Overcoats, nobby and resonable in price, for
children from 2% up, can be found in large
variety at B. H. Levy & Bro.’s.
Ulcerated sore throat cured .by usln
Holmes’Wash. Try it.
The prettiest goods for men, youths and
boys in the city can bfe found at B. H Levy a i
Bro.’s.
To be convinced call around and see L
Fried’s before making your purchases else
where, as the vrice and quality of goods sell'
it -elf.
If you want a good fitting shirt, either
white or fancy, try L. Fried.
YOUNG MEN!—REAP THIS
The Voltaic Belt Co., of Marshall, Mich.,
rtffer to send their celebrated Electro-Voltalc
Belt and other Electric Appliances on trial
for thirty days, to men (young or old! afflict
ed with nervous debility, loss of vitality and
manhood, and all Kindred troubles. Also for
rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis, and many
other diseases. Complete restoration to
health, vigor and manhood guaranteed. No
risk is incurred, as thlry days’trial is al
lowed wme lor them at once for Illustrated
namphl-t free.
Drunkenness, or the Liquor Habit cau
be Cured by Administering hr.
Hain > Golden S pcific.
It can be given in a cup of coffee or tea
without the knowledge of the person taking
It, effecting a speedy and permanent cure,
whether the patient is a moderate drinker or
an alcoholic wreck. Thousands of drunkards
have been made temperate men who have
taken the Golden Specific in their coffee
without their knowledge, and to-day believe
they quit drinking of their own free will.
No harmful effects result from its adminis
tration. Cures guaranteed. Circulars and
estimonials sent free. Address
Golden Specific Co.,
185 Race St., Cincinnati, O.
A CARD.
To all who are suffering from the errors and
indiscretions of youth, nervous weakness,
early decay, loss of manhood, etc., I will
send a receipt that will cure you, free of
charge, This great remedy was discovered
oy a missionary in South America. Send a
self-addressed envelope to the Rev. Joseph
T. Inman. Station D, New York City.
A Bargain.
We have got a fine lot of Lyon's make of
Silk Umbrellas, 28 Inches; good size Gentle
men’s Umbrellas, which we offer at 52. 50.
THE SAVANNAH DAILY TIMES, FRIDAY, JANUARY 16, 1885.
A-L-T-M-A-Y-E-R’S
Another attraction provided for our customers this week is a grand combination offering of
Ilanclßei’cliieis, Hosiery and Embroideries
OF EVFRY KIND AT HALF-PRICES.
Our whole immense assortment combined with EXTRA JOB LOTs bought by our
MR. ALTMAYER in New York the past week; at prices which will make buying an
absolute duty, and a failure to come and look at the goods, a positive crime.
IIANDKHItCni EFS.
At prices fully 40 per cent, under regular value. 2,000 dozen Pure Linen hem-stitched, fancy
border handkerchiefs 12)4 cents, actual value 20 cents ._ _
1.500 dozen Pure Linen Handkerchiefs, colored borders, la cents, actual vahie -> cent..
I*2oo dozen Pure Linen Handkerchiefs, white and lancy borders, nice, valued at 3o cents, we
shall sell at cents
1,000 dozen at 25 cents, worth 37 cents. .500 dozen at 30 cents, worth 42 cents.
A small lot at 35 cents would be cheap at 50 cents.
SPECIAL.
2.500 dozen White hem-stitched Handkerchiefs, extra fine linen at 12% cents, worth 25 cents.
2,500 dozen White hem-stitched Handkerchiels, narrow and wide hem, 15c, worth 35 cents.
We have made still further reduction in our Hosiery, and have added many new lots
AT 35 (’KN PS. -kt * . .
We offer a line of Ladies’ Hose in colors and stripes, full regular made. Not a pair in the
entire lot is worth less than 65 cents, and very many cost more than that to import,
AT 23 CENTS. t .
The cream of the assortment embracing very many Gentlemen’s Socks, tor which in the
ordinary course of trade, we might reasonably ask .50, 60 and 75 cents a pair
AT 46 CENTS.
We shall sell Ladles’ Lisle thread Hose in beautiful shade, full regular made. Every pah
in this lot is worth at least 75 cents, and very many would be cheap at 81 UO. We have many
mote lots, but have no space to enumerate them.
EMBUOIDKIUUS.
East week we displayed Embroideries on one of our counters In connection with our
Hosiery Sale, but did not advertise it, the quantity we sold compelled us to telegraph to onr
New York buyer to purchase more. He writes us that a large manufacturer, financially em
barrassed, offered him for a certain sum an enormous quantity of Embroidery at a ridicu
lously low price. We shall receive this Embroidery by Monday s steamer, and will display
same on Tuesday morning. We shall add our usual small percentage and shall offer you the
best value you ever received in this line. 4 .. in „ m i
50,(MM) Yards Embroideries of excellent quality at 15 CENTS A YARD. They are beautiful
patterns and would be cheap at 30 cents a yard. j .
35,000 Yards Embroideries at 25 CENTS A YARD, new designs, and are superior to goods to
that offered as bargains at 50 cents a yard. ,, Pvn v, . v . O n
20,(MM) Yards Embroideries, sold regularly at ra cents a yard, at 40 GEN IS A 5 ARI).
10’000 Yards Embroideries, from 3 to 5 inches wide, cost to manufacture no less than ?1 00, at
65 CENTS A YARD. , x 1 , <lrt .
.5,000 Yards Embroideries, all new patterns, must be seen to be appreciated. 00 cents a yard.
Thousands of yards at equally low prices. Come early to avoid ihe rush.
CLOCKS !
at greatly reduced prices, which means we’ve resorted to the quickest and most effectual
means of reducing our large stock.
A General Mark-Down of Prices I
Our assortment, though broken, is still capable of meeting every reasonable requirement.
There is nothing to prevent you from taking advantage of this present opportunity to buy
a winter Wrap much under value.
SEAL PLUSH SACQUES.
Forty inches long, fine quilted, satin lining
finish equal, and shape as good as a genuine
seal, price 825.
BROCADE WRAPS, TRIMMED
beautifully, 818 75. We will save you 810 on
this Wrap. Compare ours with other houses.
SHOES
We intend to make this department one of the leading in our establishment, that is i'
low prices and good quality of Shoes will make you buy. To lurther demonstrate the above,
we offer Ladles’line glove top Curacoa kid foxed Button Bools, Opera styles, well made in
every particular, fit and wear guaranteed equal to any S 3 shoe in the market, at 71 MS.
Ladies' tine Pebble Goat Hutton Boots, common sense style, at 81 75, compare it with 82 50
Shoes sold at exclusive shoe stores.
Another invoice of our fine French Kid Button Hand-sewed (Zeigler s make), just re
ceived. We are using every effort possible to introduce this particular Shoe to the ladies of
Savannah, and wisii to sav right here it as fine a quality as is sold elsewhere for Bii, price 84 Hl
We will display a number of small lots, among which will be found Infant’s Shoes at 35
cents, and Children’s Shoes at 75 cents.
Zeigler Bros.’ Shoes at a saving to you from 15 to 25 per cent, over regular shoe stores.
Prompt Attention to Mail Orders.
A. K. Altmayer & Co.
135 BROUGHTON STREET.
M. STERNBERG,
JEWELER.
When moving into my new Store I made very extensive purchase.-, and compliments
have been showered upon me from all sides upon my
Elegant and Tasty Stock.
I presumed that my stock would have been ample for the Holiday Trade, but I was com
pelled. owing to the appreciation I met with, to make continual additions to my stock, and
yet my purchases could hardly keep apace with •
The Unprecedented Demand I
I have now made arrangements so ample that I can assure my friends and the public that
after to-day my stock will be again as complete in every respect as can only be found m the
very besthouses in the leading Northern cities.
MY SPECIALTIES ARE
Diamonds, and the Most Celebrated and Reliable Makes of Gold
Watchrs, and my Fancy Jewelry is not Wanting in
Either Taste, Design or Workmanship.
NO FANCY PRICES !
Every Article Guaranteed as Represented.
My unprecedented success is summed up in these few words. No matter how ignorant
one may be as to the quality or value of Jewelry, he receives honest goods at honest prices.
TUT. STERWBERG,
CARPETS & FURNITURE
AT
EMIL A. SCHWARZ.
I=LTJC3rS! IVdE-AJTS •
Special nducernnt to Buyers.
Having replenished my extensive stock of CARPETS by the addition of the LATEST
PATTERNS, lam prepared to offer SPECIAL BARGAINS in that department.
Goods at a Lower Figure than ever sold in Savannah.
o
DUOS AM) MATS.
A full assortment of Smyrna goods in Oriental and Persian designs and colorings at
ower price than the common Tapestry and Velvet goods.
In Coverings we have the last shades of Silk, Flushed and Sateens. Also Cretons, Reps and
Turkomams for Portiers.
OTT, CTjOTHS.
English and American sheet Oil Cloths and American goods from 1 to 2% yards wide.
Antique Lace Curtains and Window Shades.
Special designs, which must be seen to be appreciated.
Having made special arrangements with some of the leading Furniture Manufacturing
Comnaules. we are prepared to offer the finest assortment of FURNITTRE, at such a low
figure that it will certainly be an inducement for you to refurnish. We do not publish prices
as that only misleads. Call and look at the goods, and you will see that the facts are as staled
EMIL A. SCHWARZ,
Entrance 127 Broughton street, 1 door from Bull.
ALL WOOL NEWMARKETS,
imported material, double box pleat in back,
I trimmed with ornaments, 37; look elsewhere
and see the same for 315.
I BROCADE WRAPS, EXTRA
fine, 322 50. We will save you 312 on this
I Wrap.
111IST CLASS STOCK
LOW PRICES
A T
i J. Lindsay’s Carpet and Furniture Emporium,
169 AND 171 BROUGHTON STREET.
Lace Cni-tains from jj«K3 to #ls Per JPair
Body and Tapestry Brussels Carpet at almost any Price.
Ingrain and Hemp Carpets always on hand. Fringes, Felts, Canton Flannels, Raw Silks,
Ramie and Jute Goods in numberless designs.
Window Shades by the Gross, the Neatest and Newest Patterns
Always in Stock.
Pole and Adjustable Cornices, Symrna Rugs and Mats, Oil Cloths to suit the Rich and Poor.
A new lot of Imported CRETONNES with figures on them, just arrived.
We mean business, and will sell LOW DOWN. Competent workmen. Satisfaction
guaranteed.
CALL EARLY, OIX
W. .T. LINDSAY.
A. FALK & SON,
1 are selling their Clothing so cheap? Simply because they bought that immense wholesale
( stock of Clothing of this season’s manufacture, for
in, Boys, W soi ta 1
and in order to reduce same, they are giving their patrons and the public generally the
benefit of low prices, guaranteeing all goods as represented, or
REFUNDING THE MONEY ON
all unsatisfactory purchases—providing the goods are returned uninjured, within
TEN DAYS after purchase. Their stock is still well assorted, and they
would advise all who are in need of (not cheap clothing) but
CLOTHING (HUAI’.
Give them a call before purchasing elsewhere. Remember the stand of
A.. FALK. cfc SO IST,
THE ONE PRICE CLOTHIERS AND FURNISHERS,
Successors to I. L. Falk & Co.
Corner Congress, Whitiker and St. Julian Streets.
MHEKSHIpfoNI
Ik
Copyright, H. Solomon & Son.
THE LATEST IMPROVED
EXTRA PATENT ROLLER PROCESS FLOUR
MAKES EXCELLENT BREAD AND CAKES.
»S- At wholesale by
HEINILY SOLOMON & SOiN,
SAVANNAH, GA ’
HOLIDAY GrOOUS
I WILL SELL MY GOODS AS LOW AS THE LOWEST. NOT EXCEPTING PEOPLE
who offer to sell at COST. Come and see me and be CONVINCED.
Bargains in Diamonds Gold and Silver
JKf WvW WL Watches, Gold Jewelry,
Ha Y ” O® Ladies’ Bar Pins, Ear Rings, Gold Pens and Pencils,
| M Gold and Silver Headed Canes,
jK'k . Ir Gold Spectacles.
I* AU at the loweßt Prtees.
Great;inducements in Silver Platedware
A. L. DFSBOUILI.ONS,
No. SI Bull Street
FLORIDA CURIOSITIES!
John Hollers Co.’s
CELEBRATEDCUTLERY
AT
Macher’s Jewelry Store
HO BROUGHTON STREET,
’ PKOVf IONS ANl> GROCERIES.
Received Again To-Day
A. DOYLE’S.
X Cases of this celebrated TEA and TEA SET
’-I OnlvfiOc. for the set, the pound of flr,e
JAPAN TEA thrown in, the Tea alone worth
i the money. We have distributed over 100
eases of tills choice beverage of 48 sets ami
pounds to the case during the holidays. They
all like it; they all get it.
Am still selling that Choice
No. 1 Dominion Ham at 15c.
Strip Bacon at 12 l-2c.
, Pig Shoulder at 9c and 10c.
Much cheaper by the 100 pounds or berrelsl
’ Bananas, Oranges and Lemons
At your own figures.
A fine stock of PLANTING POTATOES.
HOG’S HEAD CHEESE and SAUSAGE
i daily at
A.. UOYLE’S.
Davis’ Hams.
We are in receipt of a'sliipment of the
FIRST CURING
OF THESE EXCELLENT HAMS,
—Andean sell at—
Lower Prices than Ever Before 1
A. M. & C. W. WEST.
NEW YEAR'S GOODS
PLUM PUDDING,
MINCE MEAT,
IMPORTED CORDIALS,
WINES AND BRANDIES
SCOTCH AND IRISH WHISKIES, 3
"FRENCH PEAS, MUSHROOMS,
;cAPERS SA UC F.S,'Etc.
WAnd in fact, everything that is to be found
in a first class Grocery House
—AT—
the lowest prices.
TVevr Goods.
DE H ESA RAISINS,
LONDON LAYER RAISINS,
SULTANA RAISINS (Seedless),
LOOSE MUSCATEL RAISINS,
LEGHORN CITRON,
• NEW CURRANTS,
DRIED FIGS,
PLUM PUDDING,
EVAPORATED PEACHES,
EVAPORATED APPLES,
TABLE AND COOKING PRUNES
F l . L.
Cor. State and Whitaker streets.
Choice Family Groceries
FOR THE
II O I - I I > A Y H
FRESH NUTS, FRESH CRACKERS,
NTative "Wines.
The Original Budweiser and Anhauser Bot
tle Beer. Fresh Candies, Wilson s Crackers,
Canned goods of every description.
Goods delivered free in all parts of the city]
4UST Give me a call.
V. S. STUDEG,
Corner of Drayton and Perry streets.
Jtlicj io Joo-!;; j,jj faSM
THE TENNESSEE
TO 1 PM! DEPCT
; CONSIGNMENTS RECEIVED DAILY.
Fruits anti Vefjetabiesu
ALWAYS ON HAND.
‘ Corner St. Julian street and MarketSqu are
PRICES REASONABLE.
FIRST- CLASS
GREEN GROCERY,
B. W. TEDDEK
PROPRIETOR,
Corner Habersham and Charlton St«.
Aiwavs on Hand the Freshest and Choicest
MEATS, POULTRY AND VEGETABLES
FINE VEAL AND MUTTON.
COUNTRY AND YARD EGGS
FRUITS OF ALL KINDS IN SEASON.
0®"All orders promptly attended to, and
Goods Delivered Free in all parts of the city j
Your patronage respectfully solicited.-®*
J. E. SANDIFORI),
Green Groeer.
At thia old and well established market, South
Broad street, will always be lound
Choice Beef, Mutton, Veal, Pork, Sansages,
Chickens, Eggs and Vegetables.
Choice Beef from Northern markets received every
week per steamers. Boston Corned Beef always on
hand. Marketing delivered free of charge to any part
if the city.
AMERICAN
W ELECTRIC LIGHT, 60c.
■ A complete model Incandes
cent Electric Lamp with Hat
tery, Stand, Globe, Platina Bur
ner, Wire, <Sc., with instructions
viy for putting in perfect operation,
1 will be sent, post-paid, for til) cis
FREDERICK LOWEY,
96 Fulton street, New
3