Newspaper Page Text
A“SNOOPER”
Belle Remesa (her name was Isabel, but
Izzy had not a pretty sound), the charming,
hazel-eyed golden hair fairy, was engaged
to be married to Dr. Reginald Bander.
The wedding was to take place Christmas
Eve, and grand preparations were being
made, for it was to be the affair of the
season.
One evening in October, the doctor, after
pulling his bride’s youngest sister’s ears to
his heart’s content, suggested a late oyster
supper,and for some reason which we would
find it difficult to explain, carried home an
oyster shell from the repast.
The following morning be found it in his
pocket, and while resting from his profes
sional work, amused himself by thoroughly
scrubbing it. “ But few of us know how
beautiful an oyster shell is, ” said he.
“As beautiful as Belle!” asked his friend
and former classmate, Doctor Codine, who,
while lying on Bander’s operating chair,
read the latest medical journal.
“No,” said Dr. Bander, as he continued
to admire the shell.
“Nor as eloquent?” again said his friend,
in a teasing tone.
“Which!” asked Bander, ambiguously.
Condine continued his reading as Bander,
mechanically, polished his shell. Suddenly
an idea presented itself to him which
seemed amusing, for he smiled as he glued
a ribbon to the back of the shell, and upon
its face he painted the word “Snooper.”
He ornamented its edges with a narrow
rim of gold, and then hung it on the wall
of his office, among the paintings and ar
tides of bric-a-brac, most of which he had
collected on his travels.
When he had finished his little ornament,
his friend rose, looked at it and said:
“ Regy, what is a snooper?"
Dr. Bander, without changing a feature,
or manifesting the least afiuoyance in his
tone, answered:
“An apparatus designed to make fools
ask questions.”
The “Snooper” was forgotten by the
time Miss Belle entered with a message
from her mother, asking whether Regy
would have time to dine with her that
evening.
While Dr. Bander proceeded to write,
Miss Belle “set things aright.” The ele
gant little dust broom which Belle had
given her future husband, was whisking off
the particles which had settled upon his
books and ornaments, as she talked to him.
Suddenly she stopped, touched the oyster
shell upon the wall, and read the word
“ Snooper.”
“A‘snooper,’ dear,” he answered, “is
an apparatus designed to make fools ask
questions.”
She did not laugh, but quietly laying
down the duster, before he could under
stand her actions, siie had left his office,
and a moment later he heard the street
door open.
“Belle, dear,” he exclaimed, but his
voice was full of misgiving. The door
closed, and Dr. Bander understood that
something had disturbed the pleasant en
gagement. His efforts to continue writing
proved futile. Belle’s silent exit spoke
volumes to him. He could not convince
himself that the matter would blow over
as soon as he might wish.
The entrance of patients for a while gave
his thoughts other directions, but his office
hours were hardly over when he deter
mined to call on his bride and either laugh
away the affair or if he should fail in this
—much as he disliked the idea—he would
apologize.
He was adjusting his gloves when his
eyes fell upon the “snooper,” and—women
would say manlike—he tore it from the
wall, and opening a window threw it out,
and was sorry that it did not break on the
pavement below.
Slowly he entered his cab, and was
about to order the coachman to drive to
Remesa’s house, when a messenger handed
him a package. He opened it, and found
all his presents to his bride, even to his en
gagement ring.
He did not observe the messenger pick
up something from the street, and smile
as he carried off the “ snooper ” with him;
but returned to his rooms and gathered the
pretty little ornaments his bride had given
him, made a pack of them and sent them
to her without a word.
The two apparently gayest people at
all of the balls and parties during the entire
winter ware Miss Remesa and Dr. Bander,
yet they avoided each other as skillfully as
they did the questions of their relatives and
friends. Soon all ceased to speak of the en
gagement and by spring it was only re
membered that at one time they had been
promised to each other.
Again Christmas approached, and Dr.
Bander had not eaten an oyster in that in
terval.
He worked harder than ever at profes
sional matters, and was appointed surgeon
»f the hospital.
A fair was to be given for the benefit of
the instititution, and of course he must at
tend
Bander went, and I was victimized in the
usual way with grab-bags, raffles, votes for
the prettiest lady, the most popular physi
cian, etc.
As his purse grew light, thoughts of go
ing home presented themselves to him,
when he noticed a large number of people
in one corner of the hall, who seemed to
struggle towards the center and leave with
a small package, which each one opened
when alone and laughed at the contents.
He approached the crowd, and without
being able to elicit the cause of the com
motion, was pressed to a pagoda, within
which stood Belle, who, with perhaps ever
so slight a tremor in her voice, said:
“ Good evening, Dr. Bander. How many
will you take! Only 25 cents each.”
He handed her a dollar and she quickly
returned him four little jeweler’s boxes,
upon which was printed, “To be opened
when alone.” The surging crowd pushed
him off, and as soon as he was free he
opened one of the boxes and drew forth a
circular, which read as follows:
THE ONLY ORIGINAL SNOOPER.
f XTENTKD, COPYRIGHTED AND CAVE ATM BT
THE INVENTOR.
Directions: Hang the snooper by its rib
bon in a conspicuous place in your office or
parlor, and all who see it will ask: “ What
is a snooper!" Then you must answer:
■“ A snooper is an apparatus to make fools
ask questions.” This inevitably produces
the best of feeling among all concerned.
Note —If the snooper should break, you
Will have lost the sum invested.
P. B.—No discount to the trade.
P. P. 8.-Call again.
Beneath this circular upon some fine cot
ton rested an oyster shell, polished, cleaned
and painted as the one he had bung in his
office on the last day that Belle had boon
there. The Wood rushed to his face, and
his first impulse was to throw the boxqe to
the floor and leave the haH; yet a mo
mealf* consideration convinced him that he
could tpke advantage of this opportunity
THE SAVANNAH DAILY TIMES: MONDAY, APRIL 6, 1885.
to speak to Beue.
He attached the shell to his buttonhole,
like a bouquet or a decoration, and re
turned to the pagoda.
“ Miss Remesa, is it allowable to wear a
snooper in this manner?”
She betrayed not the slightest emotion as
she took a tiny golden shell from her
bosom, upon which the letters R. and B.
were entwined, and deftly fastening it to
his scarf said, “No, Regy."
An hour later they entered the sitting
room of Remesa mansion. Belle’s parents
started as'if frightened when they saw them.
After some moments’ conversation Mr.
Remesa said: “Now, Reginald, will you
kindly tell us the cause of your incompre
hensible separation from Belle ? ”
The doctor answered, much in the man
ner of a schoolboy confessing a peccadillo :
“ A snooper.”
Mrs. Remesa turned to Belle and said :
“ Perhaps you will explain what divorced
you for a whole year previous to your
marriage?”
Belle blushed, looked at the doctor, at
her parents, and as she cast a glance at the
floor seemed to find the answer there, for
she quickly said: “A snooper,” and seemed
glad that she had given expression to her
pent-up thoughts.
“A snooper!—why, what under heaven
is a snooper?” both asked. Before they
could answer in rushed Belle’s younger
brother, and boy-like roared : “ Just think,
ma and pa, Belle’s made a fortune for the
hospital, selling oyster-shells and calling
them—” he saw the doctor. “Why, hello
—Reg—what in the world brought you
back ?” •
The doctor smiled now as he said : “ A
snooper.”
The younger brother-in-law grasped
his hand and yelled, ‘ ‘ Hurrah for the
snooper! ”
Mr. Remesa arose, and with all the dig
nity of a well reputed wealthy merchant,
said :
“ Have you all gone mad? Charles, will
you have the kindness to inform me imme
diately what a snooper is!"
Imagine the consternation Charles’ an
swer produced:
“ According to directions, ‘ a snooper is
an apparatus designed to make fools ask
questions. ’ ”
The old gentleman glared at his son, then
at the rest of the family.
It was near midnight when Dr. Bander
returned to his office, and there found Co
dine, who greeted him with:
“ Bander, do you know what you are?”
“ A very ordinary mortal in your eyes,
I presume.”
“ No, you are a snooper; ” and for some
reason they embraced, not like Spaniards,
but really hugged each other. Codine
found his breath first, and said:
“ Bander, when is it to be ?”
“ Christmas. And you will be my best
man. Belle told me to ask you.”
And Christmas it was. It seems that
somehow the cause of the separation had
become public, for the majority of the
presents ware elegant and imitations in
gold and silver of the snooper.
Reader, make a snooper and show it to
your sister-in-law. When she asks the
question, answer according to directions,
and then it would be well to remember that
you have an urgent appointment some miles
off.
But, after all, is there such a word as
“ snooper?”
Convince yourself by looking on page
1,251 of Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary,
and if you don’t find it I am sorry for you
and for Webster also.
The Duke of Norfolk is the richest of
English nobles. They rate him at $45,000,-
1)00. Next to him comes the Marquis of
Bute.
New York has a club called the “Ti
tans,” to which no one of smaller stature
than six feet and four inches is admitted.
An Indianapolis man said not a word to
the restaurant waiter who brought him a
tough piece of meat, but marched into the
kitchen and whipped the cook.
Lucca is getting about S3OO a night for
singing opera in Vienna.
Certain St Louis physicians say that
coca mixed with tobacco renders the latter
less injurious.
Tom Ochiltree is telling his old irtorie*
to the new Congressmen, and never enjoyed
himself better in his life.
A Miles City (Montana) hunter reports a
herd of buffalo numbering 75,000 in the
vicinity of the Belle Fourche.
$500,(100'* AIEAR.
Statement of the American, Na
tional and United States a' d
Canada Express Compa
nies, Troy, New York.
The strength of Rome lay not In her multi
tude, nor in her grain-laden fleets. These
were elements of strength, but her never-fail
ing resource lay in the self-control and dis
cipline of Boman soldiers. Discipline—it is
the very sotil to all the wonderful meaning
possessed by the word “veteran.” Mr. Bene
dict, of Troy, Is a veteran In the express busi
ness. “Thirty-three years,” he said to your
reporter, “I’ve stood at “ s desk.” It Is the
discipline of . • .perience which gives
him the position ue holds in the tr-ust and es
teem of these three great corporations. “We
have a business of 3500,000 6, year, ind I’ve
been absent from this office hardly a month
In all that time, althougn I must confess that
many times I’ve worked here when suffering
great pain, for I have been troubled all my
life with biliousness and dyspepsia. . My sys
tem had become so reduced and weak that I
had no appetite, ar d my digestion wholly dis
ordered. I’ve tried various remedies, but al
most two years ago I happened to hit upon
Dr. Kennedy's FAVORITE REMEDY. After
using only one bottle or so 1 began to feel
stronger In every way. The great difficulty
has been with my digestion, but this seems to
regulate it perfectly, I have sir, great faith
In Dr. Kennedy’s FAVORITE REMEDY. I
have bought and given a great deal of It to
the poor around here; those, you know, who
have no money to buy medicine of any kind,
for there are a great many troubled with bil
lions diseases and suffer on without aid. I
always keep FAVORITE REMEDY in the
house. I consider it the bestmedicine for the
blood in the market. Well, I must attend to
this matter for the western part of the city.
Say, you tell the Doctor I am coming down to
Rondout to see him in August.l want to know
him.” I left the veteran, still at his post, re
joicing in health and grateful to Dr. Kenne
dy. SOLOMONS & CO.; Wholesale Agents,
Savannah, Ga.
Dr. J. Bradfield: Dear Sir—We have for
the past fifteen years handled your Remedies,
ooth at wholesale and retail, and in no In
ttance, so far as our knowledge extends, have
they failed to give satisfaction. We have sold
more of your Regulator than of all the other
similar remedies combined. We regard Pry
or’s Pile Ointment one of the best; and
Mother’s Friend we know to be true to its dis
tinctive title: “The Mother's Best Friend."
Yours truly. ,
LAMAR, RANKIN A LAMAR,
Oolesale Druggists, Atlanta, and Macon, Ga
Treatise on the Health and Happiness of
Woman mailed free.
Bradfield Regulator Co.,
Box 28, Atlanta, Ga.
music ra eid.
iE hi os Congress SM.
BUT, to show the public that our claim to
he the SOLE AUTHORIZED AGENTS
for EVANS’ TEN-UENT MUSK’ wns strictly
//■//? . and heneu we were in going
for the interloper on our jrreserves as we did,
we submit the following letter from the
Evans Branch House at New York to the
Boston headquarters:
New York, Feb. 28,1885.
Messrs. IF. A. Evans &Bro. :
Gentlemen—lt is with deep regret that I
hear of the unfortunate controversy brought
alxut by the sale of Music I made to H. L.
Schreiner, of Savannah, Ga., but you may be
assured that it was done in all innocence, as I
was totally unaware of the exclusive Agency
given Ludden Bates Music House of that city.
Rest assured that I will not again encroach
upon their territory, and you will confer a
favor by informing them of that fact
H. R. Johnson,
Manager of New York House.
This settles the question as to who will in
future sell Evans’ Music in Savannah. The
party who set out to ignore our rights has, as
usual, fell down, and, while he has yet on
hand a little dab of Evans’ Music, which he
can close out at 5 cents a piece, it he sees fit,
yet we alone can furnish the complete publi
cations of Evans & co
Music buyers will please bear in mind that
we are into this Cheap Music business all
over, and hence can fully satisfy the demand
We bought at one purchase 40.000 copies of
Evans’ Music, and keep regularly in stock
every piece that they publish, which com
prises over 1,500 different subjects, all of which
are sold at the uniform price of
10 CENTS PER COPY,
No more, no less, saints and singers pay
the same price, and no chromos thrown in.
The rush is as great as ever and thousands of
pieces are daily sold. Come and look it over.
Ludden & Bates
MUSIC HOUSE.
: JS& J
5 % Iw—§
< JiSis
n i—i
*
Clod Mi and Hr
WILL WORK IN ANY SOIL!
Durable and Strong!
For sale by
PAEMER BROS.
148 Congress and 151 St Julian street.
PRINTER’S
ROLLERS!
THOMPSON’S
Mem Hr Composition!
The only reliable COMPOSITION made for
the SOUTHERN CLIMATE.
by the Pound or made into
Rollers at short notice.
A. D. THOMPSON,
93%8ay Street Savanah. G»
WANTED,
1,000 Cedar Posts
8 to 1G Feet Long, 6 Inches and
up Diameter Small End.
Apply at office for Price List.
I2>. c. BACON & CO
G.R. HOHENSTEIN WM. H. PITT.
HOHENSTEIN & PITT,
(Successors to G. R. Hohenstein,)
PLUMBE and MS fflffll
No. SOX WHITAKER ST.)
49*Work done at the shortest notice and
guaranteed at the lowest figures.,
S. D. G.
Means SPRING DRESS GOODS, to which we invite theattentlon of the public for lu variety
of mw styles and low prices they are unexcelled In tbecity. We are prepared to show as
beautiful and nice goods as any other concern. We have a special lot of Dress Goods al 15c
which cannot be bought for less than 25c. If you desire to see something extraordinary
handsome see our 42-lnch Plaids at $1 a yard; they are rich, rare and racy.
O. B. S.
Means OUR BL ACK SILKS. There is nothing nicer than a good Black Silk Dress. We claim
to have the best value in the city. Our 80c. Silk is equal to anv $125 Silk you can buy;
our $1 Silk will compare witli any $1 50 Silk; our $1.25 Silk will match any $2 Silk; our $1.50
Silk will beat any $2.50 Silk; our $1.75 and $2 Silks will compare favorably with any $3 and $1
Silks you can And. You need not believe It and yet come and judge for yourself. There is
hardly a day when we do not sell from 10 to 25 pattern*, which proves that we are selling the
bulk of Black Silks sold in this market. We speak of actual facts, yet we wish everybody to
know it, for we want to sell more still. In Colored and Fancy Striped Silks and Satins we
carry a very respectable assortment, and would like to accommodate you whenever you will
permit us.
0. W. G.
Means OUR WHITE GOODS. There is nothing worth having in this line which we do not
have for sale; and what is more, everything at our lowest popular prices. We especially cad
at ten 1 ion to our Check Nainsooks at 10c. They are cheap at 15c. Remember we have all the
novelties in White Goods.
O. E.
Means OI R EM BROIDERIES AND LACES. This is a stock we especially delight in having
the cheapest, the largest, the finest, and the most complete assortment in the citv. Tills is a
recognized fact by everybody who knows anything at all about Embroideries and Laces. Yet
we cannot too often repeat it as it is to our Interest that no one should forget it.
p. p. p.
Means PARASOLS every time, but not only Parasols; It is to convey to you the solid fact that
our assor'ment Is simply unapproachable. We have every novelty, every plain and staple
style and at much lower cost than you can find elsewhere. Seeing is believing, therefore
come and see
O. L. H. H.
Means OUR LADIES’ HEMSTITCHED HANDKERCHIEFS. We offer immense bargains in
this line. We will men tic n a few specialties, but prefer you to see them all. We propose to
sell you a Pure Linen Hemstitched, Colored border Handkerchief at 10c.. equal to any 20c one
in tlie city: at 12Jlc..as good as a 25c. one; st 1.5 c as good as any at 30c.; and at 20c. and 25c. fully
wortlx double, Al 3c. we will sell you a handkerchief which we guarantee to be pure Linen.
0. A. J.
Means OUR ASSORTMENT OF JERSEY'S. We have them as low as 75c. and in every quality
and style. A special bargain at $1.25, which is a Jersey with pleated back and Satin Bow.
SPECIAL DRIVES
NO HUMBUG!
500 yards 8-1 Un bleach each ed Sheeting at 10c. (No more than 5 yards to a customer.)
2,000 yards 94 Unbleached Sheeting at 12!-<c.
2,000 yards 10-4 Unble ched Sheeting at 15c.
1,000 yards 8-4 Rleached Sheeting at 12*4c.
2,000 yards 104 Bleached Sheeting at 19c.
5,000 yards 42-inch Bleached Pillow Casing at B%c.
3,000 yards Lonsdale Shirting at 7%c.
2,500 yards Lonsdale Cambric at 10c.
5,000 yards Fruit of the Loom at 7%c.
10,(MH) yards Very Best Calico at sc.
500 yards Turkey Red Table Cloth worth 50c. at 35c.
DAAL I) AVE I JSI3E I IN,
153 B'oii“hton Street.
SPECIAL NOTICE !
o—
FOR SALE
E O R OAk. S II !
Not Real Estate, not Government Bonds, not Five-Dollar GoldjPiecesJatJfour’anda half,| not
Gas at 25 cents a thousand, but
hi Bones*. Shoes far Gents’ Ladies’, Misses' and ito.
■ ALSO -"——J
Hats and Caps of all the Latest Shapes and Styles
TO SUIT EVERY ONE.
The largest and best assortment of TRUNKS and VALISES. Exa _a.ne;our goods and be
convinced. If ydu wish to buy a fine UMBRELLA, stop at
COLLAT BROTHERS,
119 Broughton St.
N. B.—All goods are marked in PLAIN F we have strictly ONE PRICE
FLORIDA CURIOSITIES!
John SS Holler Si <fc Co.’
CELEBRATED CUTLERY
AT
M acher ’ s Jewelry Store
lie TiHOTTCJTI’TOIV HTRFKT
Do Not Ruin Yonr Eey-sight
BY WEARING COMMON SPECTACLES.
Nine-tenths of al! eye disease is caused by wearing improper;glasses.
LeMLAJEtE’S
Are the most PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL ever offered. J They will cause a continuous and
abiding Improvement in the eyes, and assist the sight most brilliantly.
Al. E. DESBOTJIELOJXS,
Importer and Dealer in WATCHES, JEWELRY and.OPTICAL GOODS,
QI ;Bull Street, Sole Agent.
PROVIIONS AND ( ROCi RIES.
Spring Goods
HATHORN WATER,
APOLLINARE3 WATER,
BUDWEISER BEER.
ROSS’ IMPORTED GINGER ALE,
CANTELL & COCHRANS.
A full line of Imported and Domestic
CLARETS.CATAWBAS, PORTS, etc., at
BRANCH & COOPER’S.
H Tomatoes
Packed by GORDON-A DILWORTH. These
goods are thoroughly cooked before canning,
i hus making a safe, economical and desirable
vegetable. Also
Prepared by E. C. HAZARD & CO., and which
is certainly the best made. We have a sam
ple bottle open to show.
A .M. & C. W. WEST.
New Groodhs.
DEHESA RAISINS,
LONDON LAYER RAISINS,
SULTANA RAISINS (Seedless),
; LOOSE MUSCATEL RAISINS,
LEGHORN CITRON.
NEW CURRANTS, J
DRIED FIGS,
PLUM PUDDING,
EVAPORATED' PEACHES,
EVAPORATED APPLES,
TABLE AND COOKING PRUNE J
GEORGE & GOODMAN.
Cor. State and Whitaker streets.
I E. SANDIFORIK
Cifreen Grocer.
At this old and well established market, South
Broad street, will always be found
Choice Beef, Matton, Veal, Pork, Sausagei,
Chickens, Eggs and Vegetables.
Choice Beef from Northern markets received
week per steamers. Boston Corned Beef always
hand. Marketing delivered free of charge to any
of the city.
PAINTS, OILS, ETC.
MILL SUJEUPE.LES.
RUBBEK BELTING,
LEATHER BELTING,
I.ACE LEATHER,
BELT HOOKS,
RIVETS and BARS,
BELT PUNCHES,
MILL SAW FILES,
WRENCHES,
PACKINGS of all kinds,
RUBBER HOSE,MANILLA ROPE,
LANTERNS and STATION LAMPS,
MACHINERY OILS of all kinds,
PAINTS, OILS, GLASS, &c„ DOORS,
SASHES, RLINDS and MOULDINGS
For sale low at
Andrew Hanley’s,
Whitaker St., Corner President and York St«.
OLIVER’S
Paint and Oil House,
SASH, DOORS, BLINDS
NI o nlcling s. Etc.
DRUGS AND MEDICINES
“BARK AHOYi
Not that barque which spreads its satl- ai
the favoring gale and with every caikYas
drawing taut, sails the sea, a thing of life atd
beauty, but that bark which comes from ■
cold and hastens the traveler to that port
from whence there is no return. For thia
bark use
“COUGH AND LUNG BALSAM.”
It is the best medicine ever presented for
coughs, colds and hoarseness, and for four
seasons has given entire satisfaction. Frio.
25 cents. Prepared only by
DAVID PORTER, Druggist,
Corner Broughton and Habersham street.'
J. c. c. c. c.
Ut| bn
CLEANS CLOTHES,
Removes all Grease, Paints, Oils, Varnish
Tar, Dirt or Soils from any fabric
without injury.
FOR SALE BY
J. R. Haltiwang-er,
Cor Broughton and Drayton streets.
Also sold by L. C. Strong and E. A. Knapp
Spring Siyiis How Ready
JUST RECEIVED!
A large and choice assortment of MEN S
NECKWEAR, at Lowest Prices. GENT’S
HALF HOSE from the plainest unbleached to
the finest and laiest noveltles In Lisle thread.
MY LINE OF
Spring Underwear I
Consists of the best French, English and Do
mestic makes, and my line of WHITE and
COLORED SHIRTS are the finest in make,
quality and style. I also keep a large assort
ment of GENT'S FURNISHING GOODS at
the most reasonable prices.
Call and examine. No trouble to show
goods.
IBADORE FRIED,
116% Broughton street,
Between Bull and Drayton streets.
7