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SUNDAY MORNING. JOHN DOYLE—MATCHMAKER. When Louise Doyle entered the offi ces of Delancey & Griffin, architects,in the humble capacity of copyist, the soul of her father rose in angry rebellion. Two years previous John Doyle had retired from the grocery business with a tidy income, a substantial brick resi dence and chronic rheumatism. When ever the malady loosened its grip. Doyle wandered back to the scenes of his commercial achievements. His suc cessor always gave him cordial wel come. and a comfortable chair back of the cashier’s booth was at his disposal. When too lame to walk as far as the store, he consoled himself by playing innumerable games of pinochle, in the rear of Simpson's cigar store, just across the street. It was from a disastrous defeat at pinochle that tye came home to hoar that Louise was “going to business." The moment was inauspicious. "I never heard tell of such tomfool ishness. My girl going to chase down town six days in the week, like the daughters of that no-account Tom Saunders? People'll be questioning my credit next And she wont make enough to pay for the new feathers and fixing she'll want, to say nothing of the shoe leather she'll wear out traipsing back and forth in all kinds of weather!" Mrs. Doyle, who in spite of the fact that she never joined a Mothers' club nor studied household economics, had succeeded In making John Doyle com fortable and content, calmly set a gusset in her husband's new shirt as she replied: "1 don't know aboitt that, John. 1 think that if more girls knew how hard it is to earn money, and to make a suc cess in business, we'd have fewer shift less and grumbling wives Mr. Doyle groaned at his wife’s de sertion to the enemy. “And as for her wasting her money, I don’t believe LouiseTl do anything of the sort. She's got too much of her fathers blood in her. Besides, she's going to pay her board —says it's only right, seeing that she won’t be home to help me with the work." Mr. Doyle fairly gasped in his fury. "Pay her board! Minerva Doyle, have you gone daft? Or are you turn ing miser, like your Uncle Sam? My daughter shan’t pay her hoard, so long a a I'm here to prevent it. But l/ouise had her way. Every Saturday night she paid her board, and every Monday morning Mr. Doyle car ried the money straight to the savings bank and deposited it to the credit of Ixrnise Doyle. Three years rolled round and Louise failed to fulfill any of the dire predic tions set forth by her parent. She did not take pneumonia from fat ing keen northwesters. She did not catch smallpox from riding in ill-ventilated tars. And she refused to elope with the junior partner. But she had risen steadily in the estimation of her em ployers, until, when George Shaw came to the city, she was confidential secre tary to the senior partner of Delancey £ Griffin. In his secret heart, John Doyle was wonderfully proud of this self-posr eased, capable young woman, and when young Shaw from up-State, vigorous, well set-up and well-poised, appeared on the scene, Mr. Doyle groaned afresh. “If Louise hadn’t that business bee in her bonnet, there’s the man I'd pick out for her husband. Why on earth any sensible girl would rather take dictation from a snarling, bald-headed old crank downtown than to make a nice home for a fellow like George Shaw, 1 don’t see.” But as a matter of fact Mr. Delancey was neither bald nor ill-tempered, and George Shaw had come to the city with but one well defined ambition— to gain a business foothold. John Doyle's successor in the grocery trade being second cousin to George Shaw s mother, he had taken the first thing at hand, a position as clerk in the store where Doyle had once ruled with an iron hand. Perhaps the happiness of Louise was not the only thing at stake, in Doyle’s mind. He might have cherished a se cret longing to maintain even a distant family connection with the scene of his commercial success. At any rate, Mr. Shaw was in due time Invited to eaJl, and Mr. Doyle fairiy hugged him self when he saw the admiration i. Jhe young man’s eyes on meeting Lo. e. But for six months matters progri i ed no further. Mr. Shaw called at ir regular intervals, and was courteously received by Louise —in the presence of her parents. From his point of vantage behind the cashier’s booth Mr. Doyle studied the young man whom he coveted as a son in-law, and decided that an occasional cigar could be offered his idol with im punity. In the meantime George Shaw was studying the uncertainties of cus tomers and markets, to the profound satisfaction of his mother's second cou sin. When Mr. Shaw invited Louise to ac company him to the theatre, John Doyle went into the seventh heaven of delight The calmness of Louise irri tated her- exuberant father. The theatre-going became an estab lished weekly event, and Mr. Doyie beamed, even when defeated at pin ochle. Each day be spent less time in the rear room of Simpson’s cigar store, and longer visits were made to the grocery store. He bought a better brand of cigars, too, and proffered them at more frequent intervals. But when Louise imperturbably an nounced that Mr. Shaw had invited her to see Bernhardt in "L'Aiglon,’’ and followed up the information with the prosaic observation that her rainy- day skirt needed anew binding, the vials of Mr. Doyle's wrath were again uncorked. As the door closed on her retreating form, he turned to his wife: “Well, that teats me! I'll bet George paid every cent of $25 for those two seats, ant! she takes it as cool as if she was used to such treats every night in the week. 1 do believe she’s more interested in Delancey’s contract for that Newport palace than in getting a husband.' "Like as not.” lespor.ded Mrs. Doyle, gathering the better scraps for the cooking jar. “An architect’s contract is easily filled, but marriage is uncer tain and it’s got to stand for most ot us. 1 don't see that there’s such a rush about her settling down. She's do ing well. Besides, how do you know that Mr. Shaw wants her?" "Want her!" roared Mr. Doyle. “Who wouldn’t want her? Air’t she pretty? Ain't she bright and up to the mark every time? Ain't I got. money to leave? An:! ain’t she as cool as a cucumber, too, the independent minx?" A week afier the Bernhardt episode John Doyle came home fairly brim ming ever with excitement. "What do you think? George has bought an interest in the store. Had a tidy bit of money laid by when he came down here, and seeing this was a good opening, bought in. Everybody around the store is tickled to death. Say, 1 invited him round to dinner Sunday, to celebrate Che occasion." Mrs. Doyle smiled. "That's nice.” Louise likewise smiled placidly— and passed her plate for another chop. John Doyle boiled inwardly. "Don't care a rap. Tnis comes of letting her work among a lot of coun terjumpers and upstart young brokers. She don't know a real man when she sees one.” The next night Louise dined with two young women who lived in true Bohemian fashion, in two rooms with a bath. She came home animated and gossipy. "Oh, mother,” she exclaimed, as she folded her new veil with thrifty care. it's the dearest little den. The par lor couches are their beds at night, and inside there’s a place for their gowns. And stub a cute dinner—with a fern in the middle of the table, and every thing so easy to get—canned soup, fried chicken and salad and things from the delicatessen store, and rolls heated in the gas oven, and charlotte russc, with the queerest black coffee and preserved sweets from India to finish off. No two dishes alike and each one wi!b a his tory!” Mrs. Doyle patted the two slender hands that stole round her neck. "We had a good dinner, too. dearie, roly-poly pudding with strawberry jam.” “Not strawberry jam." sighed I-ouise, “Naughty mother, not, to wait till a night •'•’her. 1 was home. I’ve been thinking that when Mr. Shaw came Sunday we might have something out of the ordinary, just’ to celebrate the occasion.” This with a sly look at her father. “To bo sure, ’ responded Mrs. Doyle heartily. "The poor fellow has boaraed ever since he came to town. No doubt he’ll enjoy some good homo cooking. We’ll have a tine roast of beef with both kinds of potatoes, celery and vegetables, and I’ll make some extra thick mince pics.” Louise tapped the table thoughtfully. “I know, mother dear, you’re the best cook in the world, but —don’t you think it would be nice to have some little extra 1 ' like —well—like the girls pad tonight?” “Bless my sou!,” remarked Mrs. Ooyh., wiping her glasses anxiously, when Louise left the room. “Whatever does she v.ant. Fin sure ” “Never mind what she wants, she’s going to nave it,” growled Mr, Doyle, in unconcealed triumph. "That's the first ray of sense she’s shown since George's been coming here. Let her buy what she wants for Sunday.” In fulfilment of this injunction, he pressed a ten-dollar bill into bis daugh ter’s hand, bidding her spend It for anything she liked for the momentous occasion. An when the two young people Lad retired to the pat lor. after dinner on Sunday, and he was ex uberantly wiping the dishes for his wife, he remarked: "Well, Minerva, ; hat dinner’ll do one of two things for George Shaw. ' ;1 either kill him or make him pro pose.” “I declare, John Doylh, 1 believe you’ve gone, daft on the subject of marrying off Louise. But I must say that 1 do feel a bit squeamish myself after these iced oysters.” The next morning after breakfast Louise lingered over the task of tying her veil and rebuttoned her gloves ner vously. Finally she crossed abruptly to her mother’s side and rt ted one hand caressingly on the gray hairs. "Mother, 1 guess you 11 have to teach me how to roast beef your way. George fell to his knee. “George never —never —mentioned tlie salad, nor the char lotte russe, nor anything I bought, but he saici your beef and pies made him think of bis mother —and —and when we go to houseneeping we’re to have roast beef every Sunday.” Mrs. Doyle*wheeled round to.clutch at empty air. Louise had vanished and the front door swung to with a crash. "Well. John Doyle, I hope you’re sat isfied!’ she exclaimeu, a suggestion of tears In her voice. “Satisfied ain’t no name for it, Min erva. If I’d had him made to order I couldn t have got a son-in-law to suit me be veer.’’—New York Sun. THE BRUNSWICK DAILY NEWS. Tl*f Traveler*. Said Tolly and Molly and Bobby and John, “We'll go to Europe and back again. We’re afraid we wiil drown if we go in the boats, So we’ll go instead in a railroad train.” It was made of the bed feather easy chair. It held them all with a bit of a squeeze, With Bobby and John astride of its buck. While Tolly and Molly recline at their ease. “Europe la nice, they toll us when The bell for luncheon calls them home. We climbed all over the mouutaiu peaks. And swam the Tiber in auetent Home.’ They go to the Klondyke when luncheon is through. Their gold they toll us would HU a room. They climb by Jacob’s ladder ut lust, To make n call on the man in the moon. No wonder it is when bed time comes. They yawn and nod their traveled beads. But they start at once for the land of dreams. As soon us they’re tucked in their tiny beds. —Washington Star. Tim (iMinn of < limit*. Swiss children make believe that, the pursuer in the game of chase or “tug" is invested with an imaginary cvil spirit whose power is subject to certain charms. For instance, if they touch cold iron, a gate latch, a horse shoe or an iron nail tile power of the demon Is broken. Sometimes they make gold or silver their charm. They play “cross-chase," in which the runner who darts across the patch between the pursued and the pursuer becomes the object c£ the catcher, and the former one goes free. Again if the runner squats he 13 free, or, he may squat three times and after that the charm is lost. The chaser of.en disguises himself and unless the cap tive can guess who he m the captive is banished from the game. They also play “turn-cap"—the chaser wearing Jiis cap with the lining outside. Another Swiss game is called Pot of Gold. One of tile swiftest runners takes a stick and pretends to dig for a pot of gold. He works away for a few minutes, then cries out "I’ve found it" and runs array with it at the top of his speed. He has the ad vantage of a few paces at the start, for while he is digging the other players are grouped behind him at least one rod distant. The player who catches him gets the pot of gold and becomes in turn subject to robbers. This keeps every player on the chase continually. T’arrot Walked tlto Wire. The rotund German who resides on Olive street has a parrot which is a great pet. It knew so much, and had become so fully a member of the fami ly, that the other day, when Poily un hooked the latch of the cage and skipped there was general consterna/ tion. Even the street urchins on Grand avenue joined in the chase. Tin- mas ter and she mistress and all the small boys for miles about lent a hand, but Polly went from one roof to another, and then made a jump and safely reached tile trolley wire. Her toes wore just a bit too long for a firm dutch, but she hung on. swaying back and forth like a tight-rope walker, and me only wonder was she didn't turn upside down on the wire. Sassy boys on the street, below gave her instruction's and a kind friend front across the way tied two brooms together and made a vain attempt in excellent German to convince the wan derer that waywardness would prove fatal. But no ice was cut by this demonstration, and it was not settled until the next car came along. Ls pole swept the bird from its perch and she took refuge on a nearby roof. Then there was more clinubng and more reaching, until the whole neigh borhood had joined in the hunt. One man shinned up a tree, dropped from a branch to tile apex of the roof, held out hia broom and plaintively pleaded, “Come Polly, nice l’oliy, come mit me!” But Polly was obdurate; she didn’t give a cent for anything hut the freedom which was hers. It. was so nice! Flitting from branch to branch and roof to roof she led the army on. Never a wiser bird! She knew just where she stood. ap preciated her advantages and was in tent on making the mo::t of them. This was kept up until the parade reached the corner of State ami Chapel streets. Here Polly got. a secure rest ing place on the flagstaff swinging from Brook’s store. Her heart was beating fast from the unusual exer tion; every feather seemed to he dis arranged; her beak was wide spread for all the air there was to be had. The chase had been a bard one, three hours long, and surrender seemed the only recourse. So Polly gave in. threw up the sponge and walked the broomstick into captivity. She has been awful sassy ever since but she is glad that it is all over, and although every bone in her body aches she is content. —New Haven Saturday Chronicle. The Honr Rlrd. A great many years ago people used to drink a sweet water called mead that was made of honey. We never hear about mead in these days, when so many different sorts of wines are brought to us from other countries. But in olden limes mead was held in very high esteem; and the person who made it. and who was called “the mead maker,” was thought to be of more importance than the doctor. Queen Elizabeth used to drink a great deal of mead, and left behind a recipe for the best way of making it. There is a bird called the honey guide that lives in Africa, in the country of the Hottentots. It is rather larger than a sparrow, and Is so fond of honey that it is always on the lookout to get some. There are no beehives In that country, but the bees make nests in the hollow of a tree, or in some other sheltered place. The bird is sure to find its way to the bee's nest, but it does not like to at tack it. for fear of being stung. So it begins to call out in its own way for someone else to come; it makes a loud piercing cry, that is well known to all who are within hearing. Sometimes the bear is lurking about among the trees, and he hears it; and by-and-by he sees the bird perched on some branch close by. The bird flies toward the nest of the poor un suspecting bees, and the bear follows; for he loves the taste of honey, and this is not the first time, by any means, that he has goneafterthehoney guide. He does not much care about the stings, though they sometimes put him into a great passion. At any rate, he pulls out the nest with his feet and paws and feasts on the honey; and while the bear is eating the bird is sure to get as much as lie wants. The Hottentot knows the voice of the honey guide and follows it with great delight. When he reaches the nest lie does not forget his kind friend; lie takes care to leave behind that part of the comb which contains the eggs and the litilo grubs,for the bird likes these even better than the honey. And he would not catch or kill the honey guide for any reward that could lie offered. A traveler once void a Hot tentot, that he would give him any number of glass beads if he would set a trap lor the honey guide. But the Hottentot would do no-.hing of the kind. "The bird is our friend,” he said, "and we will not betray it!”-—Wash ington Star. The (fuck Orivci*’* I.illlc (iiil, Six little girls in Miss Rexford’s school were about the same age,— C ira, Ethel, Sally, Edith, Jenny, and Ruth. Five of them were generally to be seen together, at recess ami going and returning from school, but (lie sixth one, Ethel Stedman, was not apt. to be included in the good times of the others. This was not because Ethel was not as pretty or as bright or as pleasant as the rest, of them or because she did not. wear as dainty frocks. No. it was all ou account of her father's being a hack driver. Sally's father was a doctor, Edith’s was a clergyman, Cora’s was a lawyer, Ruth’s painted pictures, while Jenny’s father kept a bookstore. These little girls did not realize that a man who drove a hack for a living could, be just, aw good as if he went around curing the sick people or stood behind a counter selling books or even preach ed sermons in a big church. So Ethel was made to feel that in some way she was not quite their equal, though she didn't understand what, the reason was. It would never have occurred to her that her dear, kind father was the cause of all this snubbing. Day after day Ethel went to school, wishing she could do something to make the girls like her better. Final ly, her chance came. It was warm and sunshiny when school opened one afternoon; but before long it grew cloudy, and, when the children were let out, the weather was so threatening that tlie five friends hurried along, hoping to reach their homes before tile shower. They had only gone a few blocks, however, when great drops began to fall; and in a minute it was pouring. There was no way but to scamper up on the step's of a house, to wait till the rain should cease; but. the question that troubled them was how soon would it stop. It might keep on until night, and they all lived a long walk away. It thundered and lightened a little, and Cora and Jenny began to cry. It gfew darker, and rain came down in such sheets that, the girls could hardly see across the street. Then a hack came rolling along; and to their surprise, it, stopped right in front of the steps. “Girls! girls!” called a familiar voice; don’t you want to ride home?” Before one of them could answer, Ethel's father had jumped from his high seat, and had poor little frighten ed Jenny In his arms. He deposited her on her feet inside the carriage door; and in a minute or two the five were all there, half laughing, half crying, and being whirled along toward home. “Father came after me; but you started on ahead, or 1 should have asked you to ride then,” explained Ethel; and the five couldn’t help feel ing a little bit ashamed to see the eagerness with which the girl whom they had all slighted was ready to do them a favor. At for Ethel herself, she almost wished a shower would come up every day, it was such a delight to be right among the girls, and be one of them! “How did you get home?” asked Edith’s father that night. "Mr. Stedman brought me in his hack. Ethel asked us all to ride.” And Edith related the circumstances. "Mr. Stedman is a nice man,” said the clergyman, reflectively. "I told someone the other day I didn’t believe there was a better man in this town than Erastua Stedman. And he has a good wife, too. I am glad that Ethel is one of your mates. You’d better invite her to spend some Saturday with you.” Edith told the other girls what her father had said; and they agreed that they had made a great mistake, and that they would do their best to rec tify it. After that there was no lack of “good times” for Ethel Stedman. —Emma C. Dowd, in Zion's Herald. SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY. Australian blue gum timber has been chosen by British engineers for harbor works because it will sink if washed away, and will not endanger shipping. Anew electric light "shifter”’ has been invented which, it is claimed, puts the light, not approximately near the efficient point over the desk, but just in that particular position. The mechanism can be screwed to the wall or ceiling. The egg-hatching process of the in cubator, says an expert in the breed ing of fowls, is remarkably sensitive to vibration. The rumble of a train, or passing wagon, oven the banging of a door may spoil a whole incubator full of eggs. A thunderstorm always feives the breeders a scare. Geologists stave that Washington, Or egon and much of Idaho are largely overspread with lava. This great des ert of molten rock, 200,000 square miles in extent, and 4000 feet deep, has undergone great changes since its volcanic days. Rivers have diligently plowed out canyons famous for beauty and grandeur. Between the rivers are rolling plateaus of rich, deep soil—the vast wheat and grass lands of the Northwest. Formerly, when paper for news papers was made of rags, old papers had some value in the eyes of the old rag man, but in these days when all such paper is made from wood pulp paper with printing on is worth noth ing. An English paper maker has lately demonstrated a system however whereby he repulps old newspapers and makes clean new paper from them, of a quality equal to the original. The main difficulty in such a process is to get rid of the carbon of the printing ink, which does not yield to bleaching. It was recently suggested to the In stitution of Civil Engineers in Ixmdon that, solid metals might reveal by their structure the vibrations to which they have been subjected. Professor Rob erts-Austen made a series of experi ments, showing that a wave-structure may be imparted to the surface ot mercury by the vibrations of a tuning fork. He also showed that, a surface of solid lead possesses a structure re sembling that of a vibrating surface of mercury, rhis was done by subjecting the lead to vibrations similar to those used with mercury. Thu flow of Texas rivers lias been studied by the hydrographic parties of tiie United States Geological Sur vey. Daily records of water heights and frequent measurements by current meter of the velocity and volume of water carried by each si ream are made. The economic, value of such hydro graphic surveys is well illustrated by two examples. The flow of the Brazos river at Waco was the lowest on rec ord during the past season and the Waco dam, with a head of 30 feet, de veloped oniy 130 horsl-power. The minimum flow of the Colorado was found to be only oik.- fifth of what was popularly estimated at the time the bonds were issued for the dam at Austin. Tne comparatively small cost of such surveys repays taxpayers and investors a hundred fold. Coal Mining Machine*. Actual figures referring to the use of coal-cutting machines in the two coun tries show that 311 such machines were in use in Great Britain in 1900, whereas in America there were 3907, or about twelve and a half times the number, this figure corresponding ap proximately with the ratio of the per centages cut by machines in the two countries, namely, 1 1-2 per cent, and 20 per cent. It should he pointed out, however, that as British mining is very largely on the long-wall system, the 311 machines include a large num ber of long-wall and heading ma chines, while the 3907 machines in America include 2350 of the pneumatic percussive type, which is, of course, a much smaller and cheaper machine. Still, in the States there were 1509 chain breast machines and 48 long walled machines, and the increase in the percentage of coal-mining by ma chinery in West. Virginia was from 9.27 percent in 1899 to 15.09 percent in 1900. The corresponding increase for Pennsylvania (considering the bitu minous coal only) was 29.67 percent to 33.65 percent—Engineering Maga zine. Tip* nn Walking. Steps that are quick are indicative of energy and agitation. Tip-toe walking symbolizes surprise curiosity, discretion or mystery. Turned in toes arc often found witt preoccupied, absent-minded persons. The miser's walk is represented ai stooping, noiseless, with short, ner vous, anxious steps. Slow steps, whether long or short suggest a gentle or reneettre state ol mind, as the case may be. The proud step is slow and meas ured, the toes ere conspicuously turned out; the legs straightened. Where a revengeful purpose- is hid den under a feigned smile the stef will be slinking and noiseless. The direction of the steps waverinf and following every changing impuls* of the mind inevitably betrays uncer tainty, hesitation and indecision. Obstinate people, who in argumem rely more on muscularity than on in tellecual power, rest the feet flatly and firmly on the ground, walkinj heavily and slowly and stand with thi iegs firmly planted and far apart £t. Louis Star. When a girl has a single idea, It it generally to get married. SEPTEMBER 14. THE CRIPPY CIRAFFE. Said the camel M. D. to the grippy giraffe* “I peroelve you are having a chill. Jf you’ll follow advice, And be cured in a trice, Take a dose of quinine in a pill.” But the •linking giraffe shook bis head hi disdain. Said he : "You’re a witless deceiver; Ere your cure for the grippe Reached the end of its trip, I might need to be treated for fever." —Burper’s Magazine. HUMOROUS, Sillicus —All women are the same. Cynicus—Ncnsense. Even the woman Isn’t, always the same. Hoax—l wonder who originated the remark that it’s the unexpected that always happens. Joax—The weather man. Tommy—Pop, what is a pessimist? Tommy’s Pop—A pessimist, my son, is a man who is never happy unless hr is miserable. Blobbs —He lias been engaged to two girls, and used the same ring each time. Slobbs —He evidently believes In killing two birds with one stone. Jack —Grandma, have you goorl teeth? Grandma—-No, dear, unfortu nately 1 have not. Jack —Then I’ll give you my walnuts to keep till I come back. Hardupp—What, time is it?” Hicks —What's the matter? Isn't your watch going? Harduppe—Why— er—no; you see— Hicks —Ah! I see; not going, but gone, eh? Wigs—l am afraid my life is a fail ure. Everything that 1 have under taken has turned out to be a fizzle. Wagg—Cheer up. There is at least one thing left to you; you can become a critic. Muggins—My cook is obstreperous again. What is the best way to give her a blowing up? Buggins—You might try dynamite, but a can of kero sene and a match might he equally as effective. "1 don’t see why he should be so cranky; he’s got nothing to complain about.” “That’s just why he’s so cranky; you see, he’s a chronic pessi mist,, and it makes him mad when he can’t kick." “What’s all this digging going on in your streets?” inquired the visitor. “O,” replied the facetious native, "they're just doing that to bury some thing alive.” “Something alive?’ “Yes; electric wires.” “O! exclaimed Cholly, who had called on Miss Pert ’“I didn’t hear you come down. While, I was waiting for you I—er—was lost in thought, you know.” "Quite nuturally, being a stranger there,” she said. ‘"How do you like my racing auto mobile?” asked the young ehaffeur; "don't you think it is nobby?” ‘‘l think it is perfectly killing.” respond ed the friend, who knew a thing or about the machine’s record. He—Yes, he was a great aeronaut. They say he made nearly a hundred ascensions, and the only accident he ever had was the one that proved fatal. She—Really? And on which of the ascensions did that occur? One Exception—Mrs. Wickler —Did you ever see how all the necessaries ol life have gone up? Wickler—No, they haven't ail gone up. Well, I should like to have you mention one thing that hasn’t gone up. Certainly, My salary. “Isn’t it strange?” he said on the day after their wedding; “first you were won, and now we are one. too, and in the management of our new home——” “You won't be ‘one, two three,’ ” she interrupted, for she was a Tartar. A rrmription for lUK-iri(l, With all the numerous sanitariums •rd sanitoriums, mhalatoriums and < xhalatoriums in the country, no es tablishment has yet been projected which offers to cure conceited people. ’’The big head,” ‘said a man who looks into things a little more seri ously than most people, “is getting to be a national disease; something ought to be done about it. Nearly all Americans, old or young, are more or less conceited, it is the natural out come of our widespread success and prosperity, 1 suppose; but it is obnox ious, nevertheless. It is a barrier to financial success, too, in a way. I changed my dentist the other day, just because 1 had to bear so much tiiesome brag from the one we had employed for 10 years. “Yes, I’ve had the big head myself; but I got rid of it, and I can cure any Iran who has it—it won’t cost him a cent, either. Just let him try some other man's occupation—and see how his vaunted ability will come out. We bad an old Englishman cutt’ng grass in our back yard with a scythe the other day. I looked at him with pUy, and thought how much bigger a gun in every way I was rayse!f. Then I asked him to let me try the scythe. “Gracious! The j - way I haggled around with that aljj scythe was per fectly ridiculous. It took the wind out of my sails in just three seconds. The old man had tine manners, too; he didn’t laugh at me, kut tried hard to show me the knack, I sneaked off feel ing pretty small, I tell you, and I’ve bought a second-hand scythe to 1 ang up in my office, where I can see it all the time. Conceit can be cured; til ire’s no doubt about it.” —Detroit Free Press. Park Attractions. The Superintendent—Now, children, why do we love to go to the beautiful parks? What do we find there that is always fresher and purer than it is in the city? Truthful Tommy, (with cheerful promptness)—Popcorn, sir!— Cleveland Plain Dealer.