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SUNDAY MORNING.
_ THfc CIWLS OF LONG AGO.
fflb, the dear old-fashioned girl, that I
knei long year* ago,
When the world, the girl and I were in
oar prime;
Ehe vn dear as early snowdrops amid the
springtime snow,
6ke was sweet as the wild rose of sum-
I mertime.
And she knew just how to make
Pound and sponge and ginger cake!
She could spin and weave and knit the
tammrr through,
And the hotter, cheese and cream!
Why I think I have a dream
Of our driving home the cows through
atar-lit dew!
Oh, these Taunted modern days! Nothing
in them con compare
To the husking bees and spelling schools
of old;
Nothing sets my heart a-danee as the music
op the air,
Merry jingling of sleighbells in the cold.
Oh. those day* of long ago,
When the winter’s frost and snow,
Held in close embrace the woodland vale
and pool;
Wrapped in robes and blankets
warm
What cared we for wind and storm,
When we gathered at the weekly singing
school!
Oh, the old-time singing school, my heart
a-thought the faster
Beats, at the mem’ry of those days of
long ago;
It keeps the very time of the dear old
singing master.
Unconsciously I'm humming some tune I
used to know!
And in memory oner more,
At the old red schoolhouse door
Pm waiting for “ye maid” of olden times,
And 1 feel her fingers small
Lightly on my coat-sleeve fall,
While our hearts arc beating to the sleigh
bells’ chimes!
Oh, the dear old-fashioned girls have with
time grown calm and stately!
For I sometimes meet them in the street
or store.
They nod their pretty heads, smiling at
me most sedately
With a flash of eve, or dimple, as of yore.
And the gentle tones, the while
Of those days we talk and smile,
When we all were happy boys and gie>
together!
f And the happiness of our themes—
Like the dearest of our dreams—-
Are the singing schools we went to all to
gether!
Oh. those days of long ago!
Oh, the boys I used to know!
Oh, the girls who made life’s sunshine
l bright and fair!
, ,y When we’ve crossed the "great
divide”
Fussed on the other side,
We shall meet them, know them, greet
them, over there!
—Leslie Griswold, in the Los Angeles
Times.
A Question of
Proposals.
4 4 1 IIAVE something on my mind
I which is perplexing, ruther
k 1 thflu unpleasant, but which
f preoccupiei me n good deal.’’
’ "If you were a woman,” remarked
Mrs. Eden, the charming little widow,
“I should say you had just received a
proposal, nud didn't know how to an
swer it.”
"Hut, being a mere man. I’m in the
far more difficult position of having a
proposal to make ”
“Vet of not being able to make up
four mind to whom. Do you mean to
tell me*tliat you have a vague desire
to propose to woman In general, or to
some indetinito yet-to-be-tnet-wlth
she?"
“I ought to have, said 'to Which,’ for
there are two girls ”
l "Ah, two girls," repeated Mrs. Eden.
“Who are both so charming that I
can't decide between them, and so I
come to yon, as usual, to help me out
of my difficulty.”
“Then i know those highly fortunate
young women, one of whom you intend
thus to distinguish?”
“Oh, It’s easy to laugh! But you've
so often advised me to get married tiiat
it s only kind to help me to put you;*
advice into practice. I think you know
Margaret, Whelan?”
t Intimately, Did I not see her for
a whole day in the country last sum
mer? And I approve your taste. She
Is good to look at.”
“Yes, Is she not handsome? Such a
fine figure, nud so tall.”
"That’s her one fault. She’s almost
too tail. She’s taller than you.”
“Dear lady. You’re quite mistaken.
She Is three Inches at least shorter
than I am. She is certainly not more
than five feet eight.”
“What are inches?" cried his hostess.
"A woman is as tall as she looks, and
Miss Whelan looks taller than you.”
“Do you like her as well ns you adore
her?” he wanted to know,
“I adore her. Women never do less
than adore each other on so short an
(acquaintanceship. But I should have
got on better with her had I not been
eo dreadfully afraid of her.”
“Why on earth should you be afraid
Of her?”
“O, she's so clever, so well in
formed—
j “She is well informed."
While I, you know, am such a per
fect little Ignoramus."
“I know nothing of the sort. In
your own way you are immenselv
clever, too.”
“But In what a commonplace way!
•I can keep house, certainly, am out of
debt, and I could make my own clothes
and cook my own dinner, if It were
necessary; but, then, anv woman can
eew and cook.”
I wish to heaven any woman could!
I wish my landlady could!”
“But I can’t read Greek, as Miss
M in-tan does. She carries a pocket
'Aristophanes with her up the river,
and we could see her now and again
4 enjoying silent laughter as she read.
It’s uncommonly clever to enjoy Greek
jokes, isn t It? But, then, of course,
you and ehe could enjoy them to
gether.”
“Oh, as to my Greek.” said Holt, and
with a shake of his head he flung ids
last memories of it afar. -Margaret,
yen see, studied at Ok-ton.”
“Could I fall to gee It? Glrton Is
written nil over her in Indelible Ink.
It exudes from her manner, which Is
an Impressive manner, an overwhelm
ing one. A manner which puts me
altogether In the shade In spite of the
fact that I’m a widow with gray
hairs.”
"Have you gray hairs?” asked Holt,
much Interested. “I don’t see any.”
“There was certainly one there yes
terday. Well, at least. Miss Whelan
need never fear gray hairs. Her hair
Is too pale colored to show any.”
“She has curiously colorless hair, X
admit,” said Holt. It would almost
justify the use of hair dye. Kitty Red
fera's hair is much prettier.”
"So the other one is Kitty? Dear
little Kitty! I like Kitty. Every one
likes her. It would be Impossible not
to do so, for she agrees with every
one and Is of your own opinion even
before you’ve expressed It. She’s so
beautifully feminine.”
Holt assented. “She’s like the finest,
the most plastic clay, the whitest un
written page ”
“You are too intelligent. There are
many men for whom Kitty Redfern
would be.ldeal; for the man who mere
ly requires a presentable mistress of
his house, a healthy mother for his
children. But you need something
more than this; you need a com*
pa ni on ”
"With whom I can enjoy Greek
jokep. Which brings me back to Mar
garet Whelan, does it not?”
“Oh, but a companion who is also
a good comrade. Someone who can
appreciate your own little things as
well ns those of Aristophanes. Now, I
should scarcely venture to try any joke
on Miss Whelan which was less than
a thousand years old. On the Whole,
I don't consider her any more suitable
than Kitty. Less so, in fact. For if
one doesn’t want too much concession
In a woman, neither does lie want too
forcible opposition. And Miss Whelan
can be forcible. I've beard her.”
“So have I,” murmured Holt, remi
niscently. “But perhaps you will make
a suggestion yourself?”
“My suggestion would be such an
exceedingly obvious one "
“Which is actually the reason I can't
see it for myself.”
“It is merely that you should make
an effort to obtain the woman you're In
love with.”
“But surely I’m more or less in love
with Margaret and Kitty, tool”
“Believe me, very much less rather
than more.”
“Dear Indy! By what signs do you
judge me?”
"By these signs,” Mrs. Eden told
him.
’’When you are really In love with it
woman, you don't weigh her in the
balance with any one else. She stands
above every one, unique and alone.
You don't ask other women their
opinion of her; you force their opinion
on them. You urn In her society ys
often ns you can manage it. and you
are tilled with solicitude for her wel
fare whenever she is out of your sight.
You joke with her, laugh with her,
discuss with her and disagree with
her. You quarrel with her and make It
up again. You lay open to her the
subject you have nearest your heart,
and in any difficulty your first thought
is to take her advice.”
“But there's no woman In the world
toward whom I feel like that but you,”
said Holt, with sincerity. “And—and
—but wliy—! What a fool you must
think me!”
lie moved close beside Mrs. Eden
on the sofa and took her hand between
bis own.
“Dear—my dear Mrs. Eden”—he
asked her persuasively, “do you think
you could ever get to love me the
least bit?”
Mrs. Eden turned away to hide her
smiles, and having subdued them,
turned back with a histrionic word of
surprise upon her tongue tip, hut, look
ing straight into his eyes, she suddenly
threw away play acting and gave him
the warm and happy truth.
“You dear and foolish person!” she
murmured, “could you not see 1 have
loved you for ever so loug?”
But Holt, who hid some wisdom
beneath much apparent folly, was wise
enough to let this query fall.—New
York News.
Who Make Money In the Street.
Those who make money in Wall
Street are: I—The men who control tlu
market, such as Morgan, Rockefeller,
Stillman, Keene, Havomeyer and Rog
ers. il— I Those who legitimately buy
and sell on commission. 3—Those whe
buy in a panic. 4—Those who buy out
right, take the stock home and look it
up. s—Those who average their stocks,
(s—Those who are content with small
profits.
Those who lose in Wall street are:
T—All who are caught by a panic. 2
Green operators who take flyers in the
hope of getting rich quickly. 3—Pikers
who have friends in the Street to in
vest their money on a one or two per
cent, margin and infatuated women
who annoy and worry brokers by fre
quent visitations. 4—lndustrious, emo
tional speculators wlio run 100 miles a
day in search of information and buy
or sell ou every "inside” tip coming
their way from friend or strauger. 5
All who buy or sell ou rumors to make
a point either way. o—The joint-ac
count geniuses who, having accepted
a canard as a fact, whisper it to a
broker and induce him to go in with
them and divide the profits.
Whenever an industrious speculatoi
tells you he has a tip from a success
ful operator give him to understand
that you know he lies. Men who have
genius enough to affect the market
have shrewdness enough to keep the
rise or fall to themselves. The Wall
Street tip leaks out after the fact, not
before it.—New York Press.
Economy.
The question of economy depends
very largely upon the strength of a
man’s desires.—New York News.
AGRICULTURAL.
SarinK Seed rolatoe*.
' Some farmers prefer to save their
seed potatoes, hut before doing so there
are precautions to lie taken. The
slightest Indications of disease on pota
toes should cause their rejection, as the
crop of next year will be diseased from
sueli seed. Every bushel of seed pota
toes should be carefully examined, and
examinations of tlie potatoes in the
bins should also be made during the
winter.
Hues in the Clover Field.
When experts say that bees do not
get the nectar from the red clover, and
’cannot until they are bred with longer
tongues, few of them would say that
bees get none fom red clover, but that
they meant they obtained but a small
part of what was in It. The outer part
of tlie blossom of the red clover has
much shorter tubes than the centre, as
any one can readily ascertain by exam
ination, and there is no doubt but that
they reach some of this, especially
where the growth was not so rank as
to make an unusually well developed
blossom. Without the use of the mi
croscope one might not see the bees
get this nectar, but one can see them
busy in the clover field from morning
to night when It is in full bloom, and
we think they are too wise to work
there without any returns.—The Culti
vator.
A I’ont, llruce.
The accompanying illustration show
how to brace two gate posts, intended
for a small passway, with a piece of
wire. The wire is doubled and placed
around each post, then a stick is insert
ed in Hie centre of the wire, which can
i
j "0 :l , '
v , *'* .
be twisted as tight as you wish. This
is more convenient and better than the
old way of bracing with large poles; it
also adds to the appearance of the
gate, making it look neat and trim.—F.
F. Busch, in The Epitoiuist.
Winter Care of Straw berried.
Still another inquiry comes about tlie
winter care of Strawberries. All such
questions are very timely just now.
The strawberry bed should be where
no water can settle during the winter.
If there is the least danger, dig shallow
channels around your bed, and, if
necessary, through it. Now cover with
such material as you find most con
venient—either sawdust or cut straw
or compost. The latter should be well
decomposed mixture, and It will do no
harm If there Is a proportion of coul
ashes In the pile. Autumn leaves make
an excellent covering, but must not be
laid on too thickly. You can hold them
in place with the canes cut from your
raspberries. Remove these and burn
in tlie spring. Sawdust is a first-rate
material, especially after It has been
used for bedding In horse stables. In
the spring it need hot be removed, ex
cept to ralte thin on the plants ami
leave It in the path. A good compost
can be treated in the same way. Straw
berries must not Ik* covered so thickly
ns to hide the tips of the leaves. We
are gradually getting varieties with
roots strong enough to prevent their
heaving in the winter. We may be
able to entirely dispense with covering
when this evolution is carried a little
further.—E. P. Powell, in New York
Tribune Farmer.
Compost.
Flowers require a very deep, loose
soil—rich in humus. The best way to
provide this is by means of a compost
heap. An out-of-the-way place in one
corner of the garden should be selected
where all vegetable refuse may be
thrown, such as sods, surplus lily roots,
litter from raking the yard, summer
pruning refuse and anything else that
will rot down. To this should be add
ed an occasional pail of ashes, dish
water and other waste from the
kitchen, with the sweepings from the
chicken house, barn and other outhouses.
Tlie whole pile should be occasionally
forked over during the summer, at
which time a little earth may be
worked through it. If any disagree
able odor is noticed from the decaying
matter, it may be immediately con
trolled by throwing a few shovelfuls
of dry earth over it. This should be
carefully attended to, because the odor
is uot only offensive, lmt it carries off
fertilizing elements that should be
retained. In the fall the accumulation
should lx* heaped into a cone-shaped
pile and covered with grass or leaves
to prevent the water from soaking
through it all winter. It will tine
down and make the very best compost
for use in the spring. Anew heap
should be started at intervals; prepara
tion must be made a year ahead.—Tlie
Epitomlsf.
Care In Selling Extracted Honey.
Since extracted honey was first put
on the market, there has been a good
many ups nud downs in the sale of it,
largely in consequence of the manner
and care of putting it up. A few
years ago a friend living near by suc
ceeded in building up a very large busi
ness In extracted honey, by going to
the larger towns, introducing his goods
by sample and selling in quart glass
fruit cans. By having his goods up to
standard he now has a large and pay
ing trade which he has gained through
honest goods at honest prices.
Almost any beekeeper could sell his
THE BRUNSWICK DAILY NEWS.
honey crop, either extracted or esmb,
in tills way if he employs energy and
a little business tact. To keep ex
tracted honey, when the price is low
on the start (as honey market is nevei
very active before cold weather sets
In), is sometimes quite a question. The
best way is to seal it while hot in
self-sealing jars or bottles. Both ex
tracted and comb honey should be
kept in a dry room, and much better
if at the same time it is frost proof.
When dew or dampness forms on the
surface of honey, it is absorbed and in
time will cause it to sour and ferment.
Jars and bottles that are used are
sometimes too hastily washed and
enough water is often left in them to
cause this trouble.* Quite a large trade
uses the jelly tumblers of one-half and
one-pound sizes. The tumblers art
made honey tight by laying a piece
of soft paper under the cover and
pressing tlie lid down firmly. In what
ever shape you sell honey, make it
look its best and attractive to the eye.
Get private buyers if possible. Make
your goods so neat that your customers
will remain with you. Use an attract
ive label.—George H. Townsend, In
American Agriculturist.
Feeding Cattle in the Winter.
Not a few of those who will enter
for the first time, on account of high
prices for meat, the difficult work of
feeding cattle in winter will meet with
failure. The man who thinks that
winter feeding of cattle for profit Is a
snap will unfortunately find his mis
take when too late. One may feed the
cattle all right, and keep them in good
health, biy the question is how to do
this so that every pound of meat made
will yield a solid profit above the cost
of food. That Is the problem which
feeders have to solve through many
years of hard experience, und often
with bitter failure.
It requires a good deal of work,
study and experience to carry your
cattle through the winter successfully,
and find in tin- end that it has all
been well paid for. This fact should
not. however, deter one from under
taking the work who has carefully
bought this knowledge through experi
ence and practical test. 1 have fed
cattle for twenty years past, and I
have lost money some years, but In the
long run my profits have been uni
formly satisfactory. It can be done in
some years so that one is surprised
at his own success.
After the feeding comes the equally
difficult process of selling to the high
est market, if you have fed properly
your catTle is worthy of the best mar
ket. Leave the scalpers and agents
who go around the country In the In
terests of shrewd dealers to buy up the
poor stock, but ship your animals to
responsible shippers and dealers, who
will treat you honestly. The scalpers
expect to make tlielr profit after you.
and so they will never give you full
prices. Leave them alone, and above
all raise better beef than they gener
ally Handle.—E. I\ Smith, in American
Cultivator.
A Convenient Hour**.
The accompanying illustration needs
scarcely any explanation, as it will be
clearly seen that the arrangements are
designed solely for convenience. The
building may be of any desired size,
but one ten by twenty feet, eight feet
high in front and six in rear, makes
a convenient house. The doorway
lending to hall is at end of building
near front side, and leads to hall three
feet wide, running the entire length
of building. Wire screen separates the
hall from tlie house proper, and the
nests are so arranged that the eggs
1: = i
may be gathered without leaving it.
The dropping boards are arranged over
the nests, and by raising a hinged
door may lx* easily cleaned without
disturbing tlie fowls. The width of
the hall allows the free use of a wheel
barrow, and the work of cleaning re
quires but a few minutes’ time each
day. The walls of the house should
be of good seasoned lumber, nud all
cracks should be carefully closed. Win
dows may be put in where desired,
but we prefer ns little glass as possible
in the house where poultry roosts. At
tached to this house should be an open
front scratching shed, where the fowls
may stay during those days when out
door exercises is forbidden. This
scratching shed should be large enough
to enable the fowls to scratch and
Jiustle, for it is this exercise that
makes the hens profitable. Straw or
litter of some kind, unthreshed oats
preferably, should cover the ground
to the depth of at least six inches, and
all main food should be thrown in the
midst of this.
The first work of the day for the hens
should be an hour or two at scratch
ing. and they should never be allowed
to neglect it. Keep them iu a partial
state of hunger until evening, when
they should have a full meal, sufficient
to satisfy them throughout the night.
On nice days they should be compelled
to leave the shed and take exercise in
the bright sunshine, but above all
things, do not let them form the habit
of waiting for feeding time to come.
Teach them to hustle from morning
till night, and they will keep healthy
and lay regularly. Those that do not
lay when given such care should go
to market and make way for those that
will.—Home and Farm.
Poultry Notes.
An Incubator llooin.
The cut shows an incubator room
that is built on the surface of the
ground, and yet is surrounded by earth,
banked up against its stone walls. It
locubtlor
jgmm, **•*'•
jmmm m, :
Is banked on three sides, leaving one
side unbanked for entrance door and
a window. The incubator room need
not be large, so the labor of banking it
in this way will not be great. Many
are not able to secure a suitable place
underground for a cellar, and for such
tlie above plan will prove advan
tageous.—New England Homestead.
Preserving Fugs I’oi Winter.
The question eoir.es as to tlie best
system of preserving eggs. The old
system of packing in salt is still a good
one—placing the eggs, small end down
ward, in layers, covered with salt. The
large firms that pack eggs use water
glass, in some cases, a boriutn com
pound. This is equally available in
the family. Vaseline has also been
tested and proved to ho a valuable ma
terial. Home of the packing firms pro
fess to be In possession of a secret.
This is not probable. It is more prob
able that they are using water glass.
I notice that a firm in Illinois packs
eggs in tanks of cement, with walls a
foot and a half in thickness. Each
tank Is seven feet long, and the same
width and depth, and each one holds
10,0tX) dozen. The tanks hold a color
less liquid, which is said to preserve
tho eggs for several months.—E. P.
Powell, in New York Tribune Farmer.
.
I.r" U oaknPM.
Seemingly there are many causes of
What is commonly known as ieg weak
ness in fowls. It may be due to over
feeding of rich, fattening foods, poorly
constructed brooders or hereditary
weakness. The two former causes may
be easily removed, but the latter never.
When fowls are constitutionally weak
there is nothing short of complete ex
termination of the breed that will bring
vigor to the flock. Parent stock must
possess a robust eoustitution in order
to transmit vigor to their offspring,
and no amount of care or feed will
ever tiring the deslml results.
When fowls have shown that their
vigor has been impaired they should at
once Ire disposed of. All further ef
forts at rebuilding a strong strain will
be in vain. The chicks will he dwarfs,
nud a large percentage will die before
they reach maturity. Those that sur
vive will he subject to leg weakness,
and the cost of keeping such fowls will
amount to more than they are worth.
Pretmit Disease*.
It is easier and cheaper to prevent
disease among poultry than it is to
cure it.
Fowls that are of a hardy strain will
remain healthy* under normal condi
tions, but neglect them and the entire
flock will become diseased, and in most
eases the cost and labor required to
right the trouble will bo greater than
the value of tho fowls.
A few moments' time each morning
or evening will suffice to clean off the
dropping boards, rake off the tilth from
the floor and supply fresh water for
the drinking fountain.
Unco every two weeks kerosene
should be poured over the roosts, and
lime sprinkled over droppings boards
and floors.
The old litter should bo removed
from the scratching shed once every
month and new, fresh straw put iu its
place.
If a single fowl looks dumpy it
should at once be separated from the
flock and lie given especial attention.
A few days of quiet will almost in
every case tiring them around all right,
and they can be returned to the yard
with the others.—Home and Farm.
Winter Care of Hent.
A groat many farmers pay but little
attention to their hens through the
winter season. They expect a small
profit and usually get less. The more
we care for hens the better we learn
these methods. At last we determined
to have a warm, dry house for our
poultry, so we built a good substantial
frame building, ceiling the walls with
rough lumber, and filling in dirt to
raise tho floor above the surrounding
soil; this made them a warm, dry
homo. We started iu the winter with
about ninety-five pullets. We decided
to feed them systematically, using egg
producing feed as far as we could, so
they were given the following ration:
Bran mash, with cooked turnips or
potatoes, and meat meal iu it for
breakfast, wheat for dinner and corn
iu the evening. In addition to this
they Were furnished with plenty of
grit and water; they were also given
considerable milk to drink part of the
time. On cold, snowy days they were
kept in the hen-house. During the
cold spell last February they were
kept confined to* about one month, but
they layed right along. We sold eggs
to the amount of 550.74 from January
Ist to May 31st, and those that were
used at home were not counted. The
cost of feeding the flock was about
twenty cents per day. So I feel well
satisfied with the results.—E. E. Hig
gins, in The Epitomist.
Food in the Philippine?.
In the Philippines beef is GO cents a
pund. mutton 45, pork GO. veal GO, hali
but GO, blue cod. 55, salmon 60, pigeons
12 apiece, beef tongues $2.50, geese
13.50 apiece, wild ducks $1.75 and tatue
ducks $3.25 apiece. The meats are all
Australian frozen. Butter is $1 a
iound and milk $4.50 a gallon.
THE CENTIPEDE'S BITE.
It I. P.tnflnl, Hu* Jo* DnK-rnuly
PoiioOßat.
It is no superstition that the bite of
the "thousandleg.” or bouse centipede,
is poisonous. Fortunately the insect
rarely bites and tlie poisoning, whi:®
painful and serious, is not fatal. The
insect should not, however, be handled
with the bare hand. This domestic
pest is an importation from the South,
the border line of northern Mexico
being its central habitat. It is some
times known as the "skein” centipede
from the fancied resemblance of n
crushed specimen to a mass of tangled
brown threads. Its natural abode i*
damp places, moist closets, cellars,
bathrooms, conservatories, etc. Owing
to its carnivorous habits it is much
less to be feared than the muc-li more
common house roach, as it does uot
injure food supplies, woolens or leather
goods as the latter do. The centipede
is a very efficient insect hunter, preying
on roaches aid rII sorts of household
insects. Its mode of attack is to en
gage its victim in its many logs, about
fifteen pairs, when it injects its poison,
which probably assists in benumbing
and quieting its victim. Entomologists
are able to tell but little about the
early life history of this insect. Its
appearance in the household need be
less feared than almost any other
prevalent pest, as its chief function
in Nature’s economy is to keep insect
life in check, though notwithstanding
its utilitarian role it is not apt to ho
welcomed. Tlie best way of ridding
the premises of its presence is to keep
all moist places about the house free
from objects behind which it can hide.
A free use of insect powders, and es
pecially pyretbrum powder, is said to
be effective by way of driving them
out.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
Modesty is bred of self-reverence.—
Alcott.
There is no fool like a learned fool.—
Italian proverb.
Dyspepsia is the remorse of a guilty
'Stomach.— A. Kerr.
Rich people are everywhere at home.
—German proverb.
It is bitter fare to eat one's own
words.—Danisli proverb,
A man without money is like a ship
without sails.—Dutch proverb.
Take the world as it is. not as it
ought to be.—German proverb.
The rapture of pursuing is tho prize
the vanquished gain.—Longfellow.
Not to return a benefit is the greater
sin, but not to confer it is the earlier.—
Seneca.
Wounds frfim tile knife are healed;
not those from the tongue.—Spanish
proverb.
Virtue itself offends when coupled
with forbidding manners. Bishop
Middleton.
Sloth, if it has prevented many
crimes, has also smothered many vir
tues.—Colton.
He who commits is evei
made more wretched than he who suf
fers it.—Plato.
If there be a crime of deeper dye
Ilian all the guilty train of human
vices it is ingratitude.—Brooke.
The New Jewelry.
In one of Hoyt's farces two charac
ters, Reuben and Cynthia, used to come
out on the stage and sing to each othei
about the topics of tlie time and about
topics that were of no particular time,
but which offered the excuse of jiuttiug
words to music. One* of them would
sing a verse and then the other would
reply in like strain. One of these
verses by Cynthia was as follows:
"Reuben, Reuben, I’ve been thinkin’
What an awful thing '(would be
If they took to burning diamonds
And sold coal for jewelry."
This was Reuben's response:
“Cynthia, Cynthia, I've been thinkin'—
And I know you’ll take my word—
Not one-half the population
Ever'd know it had occurred.”
This passed for merely nonsensical
rhyme. No one ever thought coal
would be sold for jewelry, but that is
what is being done in Chicago these
days. A man stood at Adams and
Dearborn streets yesterday and offered
“genuine black diamond stickpins” at
fifteen cents apiece. The “black dia
monds" were lumps of hard coal fast
ened to washed gold pins. The sale of
these jewels was brisk at times, and
seores of men wore them in their cra
vats.—Chicago Record Herald.
Characteristics of Feet.
Scientists are always discovering
things in which we differ from tlie peo
ple of Europe. The latest of tbeu is
feet. f
The French foot is narrow and long.
The Spanish foot is small and ele
gantly curved—thanks to its Moorish
blood—corresponding to the Castilian’s
pride of being "high in the instep.”
The Arab’s foot is proverbial for its
high arch. The Koran says that a
Steam of water can run under the
true Arab’s foot without touching it.
The foot of the Scotch is high and
thick; that of the Irish fiat and square,
the English short and fleshy.
When Athens was in her zenith the
Grecian foot was the most perfectly
formed and exactly proportioned of
that of any of the human race. Swedes,
Norwegians and Germans have the
largest feet, Americans the smallest.
Russiau toes are "webbed” to the first
joint. Tartarian toes are all the sau#
length.—Chicago Journal.
Bad Luck.
The most bad luck that cross-eyed
people bring is to themselves.—New
York Press.
A Visible Comet.
The comet of 1813 was the only one
during the last century visible in broad
daylight.
NOVEMBER 23
Our. Budget
of Humor..
Lines on Perfumer.
Here lies OUo Musk, who had
The peacefulest of ends.
He was the seen ter of a large
Circle of loving friends.
—Chicago Tribune.
Up In tlie Woi'li!.
“Are they richer now?”
"Yes; now they talk of their ‘coun
try place’ instead of ‘the farm.’ "—De
troit Free Press.
A Case in Point.
The Father—"One thing I want to
know, young man. Do you speculate?”
The Suitor—" Why, am 1 not going
to marry your daughter?”—Detroit
Free Press.
The Jail.
“I am going to visit the jail. There
is a man I want to see C ere.”
“Is one all? I know about forty
who I should like to see there.’—ln
dianapolis News,
A Different Thine
“ You said he was a professional mu
sician?”
“Oh, no! I endeavored to intimate
that he professed to be a musician."—
Detroit Free Press.
Ho Alone Did It.
The Sister—"l have become engaged
to Fred.”
The Brother—“ Whatever induced you
to do that?”
The Sister—“ Why, Fred, of course’’’
—Washington Times.
No Ear For Mnsic.
“How did you like the music, Mr.
Judkius?” said Miss Parsons.
“I’m sorry, but I have no ear for
music,” he answered.
"No,” put in Mr. Jasper. “He uses
his for a pen rack.”—Christian Regis
ter.
Had Sited Him Up.
Willie—“ Why don’t you do some
thing for a living? You ought to ask
for brains instead of money.”
Weary—“l just arst fer wot I
thought ycu had de most of, guvner.”
—Ally Sloper.
Not Entirely Wasted.
“Marin.” said Mr. Henpeck, “you'll
never know how 1 appreciated Jour
kindness to me when you thought I
was going to die.”
"Well.” she replied, “I’m glad to
know that my kiudnes wasn't entirely
wasted, after all.”—Chicago Record-
Herald.
Ifer Plan.
“I’ve been trying two weeks to coax
my husband to give me SSO to buy a
new dress,” complained Mrs. Gazzani
to Mrs. Willies.
“I never do that.”
“What do you do?”
“I have my new dress charged and
leave my husband to fight it out with
the collector.”—Harper's Bazar.
Later Information.
Miss Maineliantz—“l suppose you've
heard of my engagement to Mr.
Jenks.”
Miss Ascott—“Yes, and I confess I
was surprised. You told me once that
you wouldn’t marry him for a million
dollars.”
Miss Maineliantz—'“l kuqw dear, but
I discovered later that lie had two
millions.”—Philadelphia Fress.
O La-la-la!
Happy Ethel—“ Every time I receive
a letter from yon I think of a fishing
expedition.”
Nonplussed Harry—“A what?”
Happy Ethel—“A fishing expedition—
there’s such a similarity, you know.”
Nonplussed Harry—“ How arc they
alike?”
Happy Ethel—“ Well, in both eases,
you drop a line."—Yonkers Herald.
Man Not Made to Monro.
Stokes—“ Speaking of mourning, if
your rich uncle were to die. should
you put on black?”
Bickers—“ Certainly not. If he left
me something handsome, why should
I be such a hypocrite as to don the
garb of woe? On the other hand, if he
left me out of his will, how could I
consistently put on mourning for such
a curmudgeon?"—Boston Transcript.
Terminal Not Ter Arranged.
“You have discovered anew disease,
have you. doctor? What are you go
ing to call it?”
“That is a matter requiring some
thought” responded the eminent med
ical specialist. I have decided upon a
name, so far as the first three or four
syllables are concerned, but have not
made up my mind yet whether to clas
sify it as an ‘itis’ or an ‘osis.’ ”—Chi
cago Tribune.
Nothing succeeds like success, unless-
It is imitation.