Newspaper Page Text
SUNDAY MORNING.
Aluminium Hairpins.
Oae can got aluminium liairpius in i
rtlffgrent colors. They come in white, j
l inch, brown and auburn.
Monogram Brit Fins.
A belt pin in the form of a jeweled
sai.jty pin with the monogram of the
uroi.rer has lieeu brought out to place
In (he front of the waist, and not at
Ui* hack; many of the enamelled
brooches in the form of flowers are
pendant drops of turquoises, pearls and
other stones in the matrix. The hat
tins are most beautiful.
A Permanent Blush.
A society woman, tired of constantly
rouging, applied to an artist to tattoo a
permanent blush upon her cheeks. Af
ter experimenting a little on himself
first, the artist undertook the opera
tion. It is said that the woman
emerged from it with a fresh pink and
white complexion, warranted to hold
its color in the wash and not to wear
out.
She U an AUmtral.
There is only one lady in the world
who has the distinction of being an Ad
miral in the Russian Navy, Queen Ol
ga of Greece*. This honor was con
ferred upou her by the late Emperor
on account, of her knowledge of nauti
cal affairs, and of her interest in Rus
sian seamen. In this respect she ex
cels her husband. King George, for al
though he served for some time in the
British Navy he never attained any
high rank.
Worked Her Own Mine.
Mrs. Kay, who recently struck it rich
In her mine in Arizona, worked a long
lime for her success. Her husband was
a hard working man. but there was
nothing left out of his wages wiien tin*
family had beer, provided for to de
velop her claim. So she developed it
herself when she had time from her
housework. She handled the drill and
hammer, put in the charges and wheeled
out the debris after the explosion. .Site
worked in this way for a long time. A
few months ago, when she went back
Into her tunnel after a round of shots,
site found a vein opened and big
chunks of ore bearing rock lying about.
Now she has a force of men under her
and is making money, it is said.
Adjnultng thu Kilby's Diet.
The sjeond year of childhood, dread
ed by all mothers as the most trying in
tilt 1 baby's life, is rendered more so by
the difficulty of adjusting the diet for a
proper transition from mill; to solid
food. The tenement house mother of
the New York foreign ward solves the
question very promptly and simply by
setting the youngster at the table with
the rest and bestowing upon him sauer
kraut. watermelon and any other de
lectable dainty that may happen along.
Dr. Henry Dwight Chapin, one of the
professors at the New York Post Grad
uate School and Hospital, gives tin
following menu for the second year:
Emits of vaVious kinds are early al
lowable. such as apple sauce, baked ap
ple. stewed dried apples, stewed prunes
and orange juice. The skins of fruits
should never be given. All vegetables
should be cooked until as tender as a<
parngus lips.
Begin (lie year with one soft, semi
solid meal a day, to take the place of
one bottle. Gradually add a second
and third meal. A good mixture for
the very firsr solid food is stale bread
crumbs or nwelback soaked in hot
water and served in milk. A fresh
egg. boiled for two minutes and mixed
with crumbs, is good, and cereals
cooked to a Jelly and served in milk.
Choose the highest grades of oats,
which have less husk, and change from
one cereal to another for variety.
Meat broths, preferably mutton nr
chicken, may begin tin* second year.
Between eighteen mouths and two
years the meats may begin, sparingly
!nd always finely minced. Scraped
[beef, rare roast beef, broiled steak or
■mutton chops, roast lamb, th* white
meat of the chicken, and fresh fish,
boiled or broiled, may be given, in
amounts varying with the amount of
exercise and outdoor life the child gets.
'So fried food or tea, coffee or beer
1 should be allowed. Any succulent
vogetatde. very thoroughly cooked, or
any milk pudding, may be given. At
the beginning of the second yea. the
l.aby will want one night bottle, and a
child can have a bottle once or twice a
day if he cares for it until he is three
or four years old. New articles of food
should bo introduced into the baby's
diet tentatively. Find out what His
Majesty thrives on and let him have it.
A great variety is not necessary.—New
York Tribune.
Tilt- Wimmn.
Many a woman has spent her time
wondering what trait in her sex man
most admires. The subject has been
discussed and haggled over for centur
ies to no purpose. The only thing the
poor woman can think now is that a
man wants her to be everything that
he for the moment desires and nothing
That he does not.
It is said that no two men. having
seen Helen of Troy, described her in
like terms. She appeared to each as
the personification of Ms ideal, and
each therefore worshiped her.
What should a woman be to be all to
n man? Constancy, faithfulness, truth
and honesty always command admira
tion. to say nothing of respect, but a
man will perhaps say: ‘'Give me the
woman who is all devotion, whose love
is dependent and who is trusting.”
The subject was discussed at a tea
the other afternoon by three women,
one of whom mentioned the last sen
tence. One of the others said:
‘Ob, yes, that's very nice when an
other man will say, '1 prefer the wom
an who "paddles her own canoe." who
depends upon her own resources,’
as you know."
Said the third: “How flattering it is,
isn't it. ,lo hear a man say: 'Give me
the woman who is good, but not prud
ish; who loves a good time, but tem
pers it with good judgment.’ That's
tiie kind of man I hate—who thinks
women are" for amusement, nothing
else."
■lust then two men pome near, and
one of the women turned around and
said. "Mr. Blank, what trait do you
most admire in a woman?" This came
with such a bombshell effect that the
man seemed dazed, but being newly
engaged that fact may have had some
thing to do with his manner. The man
who was with him turned around and
said:
"If you want my opinion I'll bo very
glad to give it—that is, if you want an
unbiased opinion 1 might begin by
lelliug tiie things 1 don't admire, and
then you could judge of what I do, hut
1 won't do that, So 1 will merely say
that she must tie unselfish, constant,
not jealous, honest, Umdtiveand. above
all, love me more than any one in I lie
world, which will be the best of all.”
The three women looked at each
other, and one said. “What a pity it is
(hat he wants one of the heavenly
band, for there's no woman on this vain
| soaked earth that will suit his high
j mightiness.”—New York Journal.
.Towt*l uml til** Individual.
“I like jewelry that is characteris
tic," she said, as she toyed nonchalant
ly with tier chain of grayish silver ami
coral and smiled complacently over her
brooch of Nova Scotia crystals, sot in
dull metals by a clever art jeweler of
Halifax. "I value jewelry in propor
tion to its onusualness. It must have
a meaning for the wearer alone, and it
must, above all, be something different
from that worn by other women.
"I know a woman who iias a set of
things I frankly covet. They are made
of copper. There is a big Oriental ban
gle with panthers’ be ids on snakes’
bodies; there is a big clasp for the
throat of a cloak, a l.ucklc for the
waist, and a bat pin. She has deep red
hair, and siic wears coppery clothes
and is a joy to my eye. Another lucky
woman has a pendant with a big pear
shaped eaboebon carbuncle hung from
a piece of gold and crimson •■'tiamel
work. with a drop beneath t formed of
an irregular pearl. She lias a brooch
shaped something like a scarab, with
its round back made of a carbuncle.
She has another hanging from a ban
gle, and an art nouveau comb, with an
oth.'l two or I brae gb-aming redlv In
her fair hair. 1 know another women
with a tourmaline which is just Hie
color of her eyes—greenish haze). It is
table cut and quite square, and hangs
from a couple of gold chains caught at
the throat by a single diamond. 1 ray
seif have a silver set which I am rather
fond of. And Aid embossed cross, such
as were wickedly made from the clasps
ct antique books, which depends from
a black velvet ribbon, just held below
Hie throat with a heart-shaped silver
slide, and there is a long clasp for the
waist in three pieces so as to fit the
curve of the figure, and a big silver pin
for tiie hair, which has cleverly es
caped looking like a skewer or a paper
cutter.
"In tiie days wiipn # tho fiat golden
hearts were all too common I had one
made, but with a difference, with a
monogram, pierced, inside the outer
rim. and I have never seen another
like if. I heard of somebody the other
day who collected little old oval paste
buckles, and when she had enough had
them made into a chain-like collar to
fit round her throat over a velvet hand.
I saws a very pretty pair of ear-rings
the other day. a recrudescence of (he
old style—long crystal drops hanging
from a ball of crystal witli Hie least
gold setting possible. I don't suppose
I should wear them—as ear-rings—lf I
had them, but 1 covet them just tiie
same.” —New York Commercial Adver
tiser.
MjP- 7fe~
Dark velvet coats come with moire
skirts of a light color.
Some of the choicest new costumes
have blouses to match.
Metal rimmed buttons of cloth or kid
to match a garment are very smart.
while, all black, pale blue
and to be the favorite col-
Fuißengl li one-piece lace stoics of a
plastron-like shape half cover choice
imported evening dresses.
Large white* tulle bows, with polka
dots of green velvet, are worn at the
base of the neckband in front.
A bunch of cords with dangling pen
thuds is caught io tile upper left front
of the modish blouse or other eoaf.
The monogram buckle is the latest
style for the Colonial shoe. It is made
of gun metal, with the monogram of
sterling silver.
The style in shoes has changed great
ly. Heels are muc h higher, toes more
pointed and the curve at the instep
more pronounced.
The pleated skirt, with side pleats or
shallow box pleats, is evidently lirst fa
vorite, and all indications [mint to it
as the popular winter model.
A smart little reefer coat of tan
cloth is double breasted and curved in
at the sides. It is an exception to the
prevailing mode, but is extremely chic.
French jackets of light weight co
vert cloth are made with double-breast
ed, semi-loose fronts and finished with
three graduated shoulder capes, the
roll of the lining showing like a silk or
satin piping at the extreme edge of
each cape
r-iOUT£ •
Tlr Ilunqry HlnckbinT.
•Said the blackbird at the glowworm's
<looi:
"!‘ve lost my wry to-night:
Please come out and guide me homeward
with
Your pretty little light."
Said the glowworm: “Sir. 1 greatly fear
1 1 I come out to hine.
Though you might reach your home, that l
Should, not return to mine!
And she kept the do n- shut all the time
Vnd would not show her head.
So that naughty, hungry blackbird went
Oil’ supperless to bed.
-Chicago Record-Herald.
Ilia Itoward.
I: was Donald’s first year at school
and ho came home one day a very sober
boy.
"Mamma," lie said, "the teacher says
if we do it again we'll all have to stay
after school. 1 don't know just what
it is—if we whisper or we don’t study
but anyway it's something like that,
and when she told us. we all cried
together.”
"Well.” said mamma, "you need not
feel badly, because i don't suppose
you will have to stay.” and she gave
Donald a reassuring smile.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because you have too much sense.
It must be a very stupid boy who will
play and whisper in school and then
have to stay In and study in play
time."
Donald seemed satisfied with this
hopeful view of the ease.
Two days after, his mamma saw him
coming up the street holding his head
so high lie fairly leaned over hack
ward. He came in and hung up his
hat.
"Ho! Some boys may like to play
and whisper and get kept, but I've got
sense! All the boys but me got kept.
MISSING PARENTS’ PUZZLE.
Kind the father and mother of these children.
We can’t tell yet which it was—whis
per or not study—but it was one of
’em, and i just was still and worked,
and here I am!”—Youth’s Companion.
A Trick With a Coin.
“Give me a five-eent piece and a
handkerchief. 1 place the coin in the
middle of the cloth, and cover it with
all four ends of the handkerchief, un
til the coin cannot he seen any more.
Convince yourself, please, that the coin
is still in its place.”
The performer slips his two hands
in between “a” and “b," pulls the
handkerchief apart, and the coin is
gone, absolutely gone.
While folding end "a” over the coin
the performer slips a small hall of
wax underneath the end and presses
the end against the coin, fastening the
two together. When he pulls the
handkerchief apart the coin slips into
his left hand, blinking the handker
chief, he removes wax and coin, and
returns the handkerchief to its owner.
—New York Tribune.
An A ran sin a Trtek With tlrp.
Soak a piece of linen thread In a
strong solution of salt (two tablespoon
fulij of water to one tabicspoonful of
salt). Take it out and let it dry, re
peating this three or four times before
you are ready for the performance of
this marvelous trick.
Show the piece of tliTeau to the audi
ence. and as the thread will look like
THE BRUNSWICK DAILY NEWS.
an ordinary piece of linen thread, no
body will know that i has been pre
pared. Suspend a light ring from
the thread: set lire to the thread and
bum it up. Tito ring will stay sus
pended, although the thread is burnt.
This experiment must he executed
with great care, as a fine fibre of salt
suspends tin* ring instead of tile burnt
thread, and the least hi: of draft or
shaking will snoil the experiment. This
S h
m
-b■ sc v ....
, ‘ ~
, I
trick can also be done in tin following
manner: Take a small piece of muslin
and tie a piece of iitieu thread to each
of the four corners, as the figure
shows, forming a sort of hammock.
This hammock, together with the
thread, plact in a strong solution of
salt, as described, before. Take it out
and dry it. and repeat this treatment
three or four times before the per
formance. Hang it up. as shown in
figure, and put an empty egg shell in
the hammock, yet fire to it, and you
will see that although the threads anil
muslin are burnt up. the egg will stay
suspended in the air.—Chicago Tribune.
A Tiig-ol’-Wftv.
Spooky was a very greedy little
chicken. Whenever Mother Hen gave
him it big. fat worm to divide among
his little brothers and sisters, naughty
Specify would run off with it to an
other corner of the yard and gobble it
all up himself.
Mother Hen soon found out (ids
greedy trick of Mr. Specify, and so one
day when she found a nice juicy worm,
instead of giving it to him, she called
lilllc Topknot.
Topknot ran off with her prize and
all the rest of the chickens after her.
Specify went, too, you may lie sure,
and because lie was stronger than the
rest, he pushed through and grabbed
hold of that lovely worm.
Then all the little chickens were
scared, for they knew that lie was
much stronger than Topknot and
would soon get it away front her. So
they all grabbed hold of Topknot's
end and tugged away, five of th* it i
pulling against one.
! don't know how il would have
ended, for Vpeeky was very strong,
but Mother Hen saw the tug-of-war
and with angry clucks site marched
over to the struggling chicks.
root - Spcck.v! She gave him a peck
that sent him flying, and away tumbled
llie others over backward. And (lien
Mother Hen ate the worm herself,
after alii—Brooklyn Eagle.
InvHtsin of Chiimilh.
The “American invasion” of Canada
is assuming proportions that are nl
mosc alarming to those who fear the
future domination of settlers from the
States. It is estimated that in the first
seven months of the present year over
5,000.000 acres of land in Manitoba and
Northwest Canada have been pur
chased by citizens of tile United States.
A recent issue of" the Medicine Hat
News says: “The influx of settlers to
the Canadian West is slifiply wonder
ful. At Medicine Hat we are in a po
sition to size up the great incoming, es
pecially of Americans, as we see here,
daily, train load after train load of
would-be settlers, bringing with them
car-loads of miscellaneous effects—
horses, cattle, implements, household
stuff. The rush of settlers is unprece
dented, and is taxing the railways to
the limit to handle the business in con
nection with their trade.”
Iloiv to firovr.
The proprietor of a small store in
New York says Ids trade came from
only a small section of the city until
he began to advertise In a newspaper.
Now lie draws enough trade from be
yond his old limits to more than pay
for his advertising. “Besides,” lie says,
"I am sowing seed for the time when
l shall have a large department store.
The only way for my establishment to
grow is by newspaper advertising”
Americans Are Forest Lovers
By Ebon Grccnaujjih Sccut.
iwJsraaEsaaß f all the forest-loving races of Europe, none-has sought the woods
I for the woods’ sake, like unto the English-spanking people; nor
1 lias ever afforded the spectacle of an annual migration to. the'
L Jt I wilderness in such magnitude as do the Americans' of to-day.
8 They go with the eagerness of bounds loosed froth the leash, and,
I buoyant with tiie spirit of adventure, accept adventure's strokes
I—l — 1 Bor rewards with the indifference or delight of n knight of La
8 Mancha. Nor have the Americans stayed at the mere enjoyment
M.sa*aaaaaK# of their adventure; they hare embodied it in their literature.
They have been the first people to introduce into fiction the life,
savage and civilized, of the forest, and to portray in classical accents the real
life of the woods, tli lakes, and the plains. Their first novelist of reputation,
Cooper, laid his scenes in the forests of tiie upper Hudson, of the Susquehanna,
and in the Oak Openings of Michigan: Irving descends the Big Horn in a bull
bout, and follows the adventurers across the Great Plains and the Rocky Moun
tains, and through the desolation of Snake River io the Oregon: and Parkman,
enlightened by his tribeship with the Ogalnllas, has endued history with tiie
spirit of the wilderness, and has drawn inspiration from its woods and streams.
The greatest and best of the Americans, their writers, poets, philosophers
and statesmen, all have worshiped Great Pan in his groves. Bryant, Lowell.
Emerson, Agassiz made annual pilgrimages to the woods: Webster composed a
part of his Bunker Hill Monument oration on a trout stream; death overtook
Governor Russell on the banks of a salmon river: and the present President of
Hie United States was called out of the to assume his otlioe; while
President Harrison, the moment his duties were done, turned his back on the
White House and sought repose in a cabin on the Fulton Chain. These are a
few only of the worthies of our land out of Hie great number who have hied
to the woods for rest, recreation, observation and inspiration; who, indeed,
have gone into the woods for the woods' sake. We can say of the American
forest what Jacques dtt Bois said of the forest of Arden; Men of great worth
resorted to this forest every day.
$ 9 v $ : * v
Imaginary Crimes
By Major Richard Sylvester,
Superintendent of the Washington (D. C.) Police.
SN every walk of life we meet with queer and at times sur
prising experiences, but the police hear and see more that
tends to question humanity than employes in any other line
of work.
It seems strange, hut nevertheless it is true, that persons
have dreams and hallucinations which are reported to the
police as facts for investigation. Dreaming of robbers, they
have awakened suddenly with all the excitement and alarm
that would attach to a genuine ease, fired revolvers at the
supposed intruder and only been reconciled to their mistake after close inquiry
proves it such.
1 know of a case where it was reported that a burglar knocked at the
bedroom door before entering to carry off money and valuables. There was
abother instance of a prominent official of the Government who, while ex
periencing the wildest horrors in his sleep, jumped out of bed and fought the
bedpost, imagining that lie was attacked by burglars, and the exhaustion which
followed hts midnight defense was as great as if he had actually encountered
marauders. This gentleman had seen service In the Mexican War and through
the Civil War, and had hand-to-hand encounters which, however, were attend
ed with hardly more serious results than the imaginary conflict.
The greatest imposition is that which occurs a great many times a year
when persons who cannot or do not want to pay their just debts report that
they have been robbed of sums of money. Tl*e will prearrange to give
color to the truth of their report, but are generally found out in the end.
A man has been known to have reported being held up by footpads in
order to avoid paying out part of his income to his wife, and all kinds of losses
have occurred to those who courted the sympathy of creditors about the first
of the month.
The public should not, believe everything they read and hear about burg
laries and highway robberies, for many of the cases so reported, after investi
gation, are shown to be without foundation.
America’s Great Future.
By President Roosevelt.
0118 world has never seen more marvellous prosperity than
that which avc now enjoy, and this prosperity Is not
ephermeral. We shall have our ups and downs. The wave
at times will recede, but the tide will go steadily higher.
Tills country has never yet been called upon to meet a crisis
in war or a crisis In peace to which it did not eventually prove
equal, and decade by decade its power grows greater and the
likelihood of its meeting successfully any crisis becomes even
more assured.
We are optimists. We spurn the teachings of despair and distrust. We
have an abiding faith in tlit* growing strength, the growing future of the
mighty young nation still In the flush of its youth and yet already with the
might of a giant which stands on a continent and grasps an ocean with either
hand.
Succeed? Of course we shall succeed. How call success fail to come to a
race of masterful energy and resolute character, which has a continent for the
base of its domain, and which feels within its veins the thrill that comes to
generous souls when their strength stirs in them and they know that the
till ure Is theirs.
No great destiny ever yet came to a nation whose people were laggards or
faint-hearted. No great destiny ever yet came to a people walking with their
eyes on the ground and their faces shrouded in gloom. No great destiny ever
yet came to a people who feared the future, who feared failure more titan
they hoped for success. With such as these wp have no part.
We know there are dangers ahead, as avc know there are evils to fight and
overcome, but avc feel to the full that pulse of the prosperity which Ave enjoy.
.Stout of heart avc see acrass the dangers the great future that lies beyond,
and avc rejoice as a giant refreshed, as a strong man girt for the race; and
we go down into the arena where the nations strive for mastery, our hearts
lifted with the faith that to us and to our children and our children’s children
It shall be given to make this Republic the greatest of all the peoples of
mankind.
Why Country Boys Succeed
By John Gilmer Speed.
COUNTRY boy's lack of opportunity is his best equipment for
Hr)> ■ tJr.-Sj the serious struggles of life. This sounds paradoxical, but it is
O A U true. ÜBt as * nle as t * le °PP ositl - proposition, that the
f\ n greatest hindrances a city boy has to contend with are the op
-0 &fj portunities which beset him when young and pursue him until
t? .... .1- 'v he begins the real business of life a business which each Ihdl
-2222222—2i vidual must carry on for himself. For the city boy everything
is made as easy as possible. Even pleasure becomes to him
an old story before he is out of his teens. Brought up in the feverish rush of
a place Avhere great things are happening day by day, he sees the Avorld
with a cynic’s eyes ur.d despises the small things which, like the bricks in a
house, go to the upbuilding of characters and careers. He believes in using
large markers in the game of life; for pennies and small units of value he iias
little taste and scant regard.
The conditions surrounding the country hoy are as different as possible.
There is a deal of regular Avork that every country boy must do, and
this regularity of employment, mostly out of doors, inculcates industrious
habits, Avhile it contributes to a physical development which in after years is
just as valuable as any athletic training that can he had. He cannot run as
fast, perhaps, as those trained by a system; he may not be able to jump so high
or so far, or excel in any of the sports upon which avc bestow so much time and
from which Ave get so much of pleasure, but his development enables him to
buckle down to the hard Avork in which hours are consumed and from Avliich
very little or no immediate pleasure is extracted. His strength may be some
thing like that of the cart horse, but the cart horse is to be preferred where a
long and steady pull is required. The thoroughbred race horse has a fine flight
of speed and canters with delightful lightness and grace along the park bridle
paths, but the heavy work is the work most in demand, and for that we Avant
the draft animals every time.
Enthusiasm is the spur to endeavor, and at the same time it is the saver of
life. The country boy whose ambition has taken him to town comes filled svllb
enthusiasms. Even the little things are novelties to him, and as he accomplishes
this and that he feels that he is doing something not only interesting hut
valuable. His simple tastes have not been spoiled by a multiplicity of gratifi
cations, and so he is glad of everything good that comes his Avay. At thirty, if
he leads a clean life, he has more of the boy in him than his city cousin nag left
at fifteen. He does what is before him because it is his duty, while the other
is too apt cynically to question the value of doing anything and ask “What is
the use?”
NOVEMBER-30
Bhe Funny
w fide of
Life ,
Love's Prisoner.
llv who flirts and runs ;nvay
Will live to flirt another day,
Hut lie who flirt* aud stands his ground
Will all Km noon be gagged and bound. *
-Life.
No title Away.
Father—“No, John, you can’t have
another piece of pie.”
Son—“O. please, papa! I won’t tell
mamma—honest!”—Detroit Free Press.
TUe Bilan of Ignorance.
“Were you ever unconscious?!’ asked
tiie Wise Guy of the Cheerful Chump.
"Not,” replied Hie Cheerful Chump,
airily, “that I was ever conscious of.”:
—Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Why Sll Quit.
“Why was it that they couldn't get
along together?”
“Oh, he stuttered so badly that she
never had time to wait around and
get in the last word.”—Chicago Record-
Herald.
Lovor ol* Animals.
“He's n great lover of animals, isn't
he?”
"Why, yes. But then, in another,
sense, 1 should say his regard for him
self was perfectly natural.”—New Yorjc
Herald.
Apprehension, of Chill.
“Don't you dread the cold when you
prepare for an Arctic journey?”
“No.” answered the intrepid explorer;
“what I dread Is a frost when I am
preparing for my lecture tour."—'Wash
ington Star.
A ForKiitful Creditor.
“The world owes me a living," said
the dreamy-eyed person.
"Even if it does,” answered the busy
friend, ““you mustn't be too polite or
100 lazy to get out and dun it for what’s
mining to you.”—Washington Star.
Hi* Consideration.
First Bohemian (to second ditto)—
“I can’t think for the life of me why
you wasted all that time haggling with
that tailor chap, and beating him down,
when you know, old chap, you won’t
be able to pay him at all.”
Second Bohemian—“Ah; that's it! I
have a conscience. I want the poor
chap to lose as little as possible!”—
Punch.
Qntte Up to Kxpectation..
“Your father was disappointed in
your monthly report, of course?” said
the school teacher.
“No. ma'am,” replied the dull scholar.
“No? Y’ou don't mean to tell me he
was satisfied with it?”
"No, ma’am, but he said he hadn’t
expected to be satisfied with it.”-.
Philadelphia Press.
Why He Uejuiced.
‘‘Mother writes that she is coming to
spend a few weeks with us,” remarked
tiie bride of three short mouths as she
glanced over u letter at the breakfast
table.
"The saints be praised!” exclaimed
the man who.had once declared that
he could not live without her. “Your
mother, at least, is a splendid cook.”-*
Chicago Ne'rs.
A l>i*tmotion.
“AVbat is that serious looking man's
business?”
“That of an attorney,” answered
Miss Cayenne. "lie lias made a spe
cialty of gelling people who were
threatened with otUcial investigations
out of trouble.”
“But he looks so very artistic. I felt
almost sure that he paints.”
“No. He doesn’t paint. He white
washes."—Washington Star.
A TCnslne*R Khn'i Sarcnsm.
"My dear sir!” exclaimed the man
who is painfully accurate in his use
of language, “that sign in front of your
shop is improperly punctuated.”
“You don’t tell me:” exclaimed the
prosperous merchant.
“Yes, air. You have omitted a
comma ”
"Don't tell me any more. I can't
bear to think of It. Here I’ve only
made two or three paltry millions out
of this business. When I think of the
billions I might have made if that
comma had been present, I am ove
whelmed with remorse.”—Washington
Star.
Not All is Lost.
Bea disappointment in love ever so
great, the fact remains that there are
other things to think about sometimes,
—New. York News. •