Newspaper Page Text
S PND AY MORNING.
Dear Mother Nature gave to me
A Bweet spring gown. If you could see
Those colors soft and rare—
The damty pink and pearl atftl white—
-1 wore it with a proud delight
All through the springtime fair.
“Babs”—A Passing From Trib
ulation to Happiness.
CHAPTER I.
/\ BRIGHT girl of eighteen.
/\ tall, perfectly proportioned.
f ' : '\ with a small head benuti
, fully poised upon her shoul
ders, delicate-hands and feet, and a
smile tlia't softened a rather Arm little
month and revealed rows of pearls.
She li:#l been “Babs” as long as she
could remember, and remembered
neither father nor mother. The for
mer. a man of great wealth, lived In
one of the most insalubrious of the
West Indian islands; her mother was a
Spaniard of extraordinary beauty, to
judge by the only portrait sne pos
sessed of her, and all her life nearly
had been spout at school. She had. in
a way, been brought up in the lap of
luxury; Miss Mlltou had been a gecond
mother to her, and now the school was
to be broken up for good, and news
had come that her father had been
ruined, and his monthly cheek must
cease.
“What am I to do. Miss MUton? 1
have not learned enough to go out as
a governess not that that is your
fault,” she added, with feeling. “A
crow would blush dead white witli
envy If he heard me try to sing, and I
haven't an accomplishment in the
world, and all my money is spent, of
course,” and her eyes shone the more
brightly for the gathering tears.
The oldish lady looked at the sweet,
plaintive face and then kissed it.
“That Is just what puzzles Caroline
and myself, dear,” she said, gently.
‘ Your father wishes yon to go to his
brother's, Major Glldeu, whom he lias
not seen for twenty years but 1 know
the Major is not well off, and his sec
ond wife ” and she paused. “Caro
line and I would gladly take you with
us were it possible, but for years past
the school has only paid its way; your
father's checks alone kept us afloat,
and now——”
; “Oil, you poor dear. Now. Just let
4me have a good cry. and—and just give
■ino three minutes ly your watch, Miss
I Milsou,” and shortly afterward she
* dried her eyes, picked up her hat that
she had thrown down, and declared she
felt better, even laughing softly.
In a few days Balls’ pony had been
sold and the little pony chaise, a pres
ent from her father, and she stood on
the platform, alternately hugging Miss
Milton and Miss Caroline, her eyes
suffused with hot tears, her lips trem
bling so that she could not speak.
As she stepped into the carriage Miss
Milton banded her a letter with a “God
bless you, child: read this in the train.”
and she was off.
y The envelope contained a portrait of
"the twin sisters and a bank note for
twenty pounds. How they must have
scraped and hoarded to save that, she
thought with a swelling in her throat,
and reckoned up her available capital.
. The ponies and trap had sold well. She
l was starting the world on a capita! of
■pearly seventy pounds. The future did
ftiot look so very gloomy after all. If
Htil trades failed she would buy and
a sweetshop. Someone had told
that was a paying business. and
she rra-hed si;.- was
laughing.
B ****** •
[ Two months before the events re
corded above Talbot Gilden read and
re-read a letter from Miss Milton witli
knit brows and anxious face. “Balls
simply has no idea of the value of
money,” it said, “and I really wish you
would decrease or stop her far too am
ple allowance. A more sweet and lov
able girl does not live; she has excep
tional ability, but no notion of apply
ing her talents. She. is. of course, inno
cent of the world and its ways, and a
short spell of comparative poverty may
do tier good, as you suggest.”
“It’s a confoundedly dangerous ex
periment." he muttered, “but, by
George! I’ll risk it: the old girl mar lie
right, after ail.” and sitting down he
wrote a long letter to Miss Milton, an
other to Ills brother and then called his
boy.
“(Jet these off in time for to-night's
mail,” and said, “and book my passage
bv the following steamer. Tell Mr.
Carey to parade all the. hands to-mor
is sharp.” But the overseer on
lie veranda as lie spoke, cigar
month, and hugging a leather
! I'm glad you've brought your
1 he said. “Sit down and play
eart Bowed Down;* that always
me up. I'm going home nest
CHAPTER 11.
Gilden. welcomed her niece In
nving room with a certain, or
an uncertain, amount of eordlal
be was a massive woman, who
one time been good looking, but
inflexion was rather fiorid, she
rge hands and feet, her ample
was covered with small steel
s that clattered, ar.d. as Babs
herself. “She creaks every time
■athes.”
here are the Major and Ella."
ned her hostess, after a desul
onversation. during which she
ver taken her eyes off the girl,
ibs rose.
a girl of about the same ago as
was a bright little being with a
large month, small hut very,
blue eyes, and an Impertinent
ose; she kissed their guest nois-
APPLE TREE.
And see me now! In nridc I hold
My apples, shining red and gold,.
Come to me, children fair.
And all my bounty freely take.
With love and smiles for her sweet sake
Who kindly hung them there.
—Youth's Companion.
Ily and heartily, and Babs took a fancy
to bar. The Major—she wondered if
he resembled her father at all—was
tall and thin, with long legs, over
which be seemed io have little or ire
control, and a quick. searching, almost
covetous way of looking at one; lie
seemed always on the defensive. He
greeted the girl kindly enough, and
then Ella conveyed her to her room
chattering the whole way. and in live
minutes Babs possessed the wholi
family history. A young artist. :i Mr.
Royce. who had a studio close by.
loomed rather large in her prattle,
and. as it was mother's "at home"
day. would probably call that after
noon.
“Whore am I to put all my things,
Ella?”
Ella, perched on the edge of tlie bed,
looked round with the air of a robin on
the trail of a fat worm.
“1 can lug a couple of trunks into my
room," she said. “and. oh, do let me
help you unpack!”
When she saw tho ivory - backed
brushes, silver mounted, the costly
knick-knacks that soon crowded th -
toilet table, she gazed with wide open
eyes.
"Your father must have been awful
ly rich. Babs."
"1 believe he was—once. See here,
my initial is 'E.' the same as yours.
Will you accept this brushV" and she
handed her one of her ivory trio, and
Ella impulsively kissed her. What
ever her first slight awe of her statu
esque cousin. It was brushed away
now.
At lunch—and bow Babs hated hash
and its flabby Hits of saturated toast—
the Major was talkative and spry,
glancing keenly at his niece from time
to time. She had brought a few pres
ents for the family, a pair of earrings
for her aunt, and she handed him a
cigar case.
“I am sorry I do not smoke cigars,
Babs,” he said, “but 1 shall value your
present ail the same.”
Something had evidently milled Mrs.
Gilden, for she said aloud, icily:
“No, dear, half a dozen packs of
cards would be more in your line."
and Babs wondered if she had been al
lowed a peep at the skeleton in the
family cupboard.
“I have just had a letter from my
brother handed me by a namesake of
ours, a very dlstaui cousin, introducing
him. I have asked him to dinner to
night.”
"Does he come from the West In
dies, uncle?” came from Babs.
“Yes. he can teliwts all about poor
Talbot.”
“Poor father is really ruined, then?”
“Irretrievably, 1 fear.”
“Then good-bye to our occasional
checks.” thought Mrs. Gilden, sighing
heavily and creaking.
To put it mildly, Mrs. Cllden's recep
tion was not: a crowded function, for
no one blit Mr. lioyce called. How this
handsome, refined man came to find
himself in this third rate makeshift
kind of society was a marvel to Babs.
Guy Royce sometimes wondered vague
ly himself what brought him there.
Ho, a lonely man. who made few
friends, had met the trio at an unfash
ionable watering place, nud Ella
amused him. When he entered the
room, a smile upon his lips for the
adoring Ella, and was introduced to
Babs, his manners for a moment de
serted him. All the artist In the man.
all the Intense love of the beautiful
awoke iri him: he had instinctively
taken her hand and looked Into her
dark eyes. Sensitive and proud ns was
the girl she did not resent the glance,
for it was an almost reverential look,
Guy Royce. like most men in Ids' pro
fession, worshiped beauty, and in Hubs
lie thought he had found its very in
carnation.
Conversation languished, and Ella
was Inclined to pout: Mrs. Gilden, too,
grudged the admiration Babs had
evolved, when suddenly a bright idea
struck the artist.
“Mrs. Gilden.” he said, and liis was a
wonderfully persuasive voice, “will
you nil come round and have tea at my
studio? My •Prosperine’ goes off io
Paris to-morrow.”
“I cannot, of course, get away, hut
If Mrs. Grafton will play propriety
there's no reason why the girls should
not.” and the \iris darted off for their
hats. *
Guy proved a most courteous host,
and showed them everything. Babs
was specially attracted by uu old
fashioned carved oak cabinet contain
ing china.
“None of these specimens are really
valuable,” said Guy, deprecntingly.
“but to me they are very precious, and
have a history.”
"Thauk you for your hospitality, Mr.
Royce,” said Babs. in her smooth, even
tone. “You have taught me more in
the last two hours than 1 have-learned
i as many years.”
“Why. Ella. ! do believe you have
been trying net to cry. My dear girl,
what is the matter?” and then, as a
happy thought, the schoolgirl remedy
for grief suddenly presented itself to
her mind.
“Come and gorge ices. Ella!”
■ v
CHAPTER 111.
On their return and descent, to the
drawing room, a few' minutes before
the dinner hour, the girls found that,
the stranger had arrived. He was a
tall man of about fifty, his beard
thickly sprinkled with white hairs; he
had dreamy blue eyes, and. as far ns
could be seen a sensitive, sweet mouth,
Babs was in a white cashmere dress
that, like all her costumes, fitted her
like wax; a small diamond sparkled in
either ear. Her dark liafr and glorious
eyes were enhanced in beauty by her
attire, and Mr. Gilden started, anil a
hot flush rose to his cheek as. he took
her hand.
“You are the image of your mother
—may I call you Babs? We are cou
sins"—and there was that in his voice
that caught the girl's sensitive ear.
She woMlorcd if lie. too. had fallen a
victim to the wonderful charm o*' her
dead mother.
“Now, 1 want to see this artist friend
of yours. Balls. Your father would
like your portrait. I know, and—and I
intend to pay for it. Wo will go round
to-morrow. I something of
young Boyce's people.**
After dinner the Major led the way
to the smoking room, where cards lay
upon the table. *
"What shad we play. Gilden—cn
clire?"
Tim eider man rolled his cigar be
tween his lies and leaned his back
against the door.
"No, thanks Mortimer: i never gam
ble."
“Good heavens—Talbot I"
“Precisely. Now listen to me. It
you till any ore, even your wife, that
1 am your brother, you get no more
money from me. 1 have been in town
for some days. 1 called at the Junior.
I found you were posted there; I have
paid your subscription. At the Circle,
ditto, ditto.”
“Then you are not rubied?”
“Never mind whether 1 am or not,
hut keep your mouth shut."
“Talbot, you arc generous.”
“1 always was eccentric. A man
must lie eccentric or mad to reward
the fellow through whose lies and ma
chinations lie. was out off from the fam
ily and sent abroad. Still, we are
good friends, my dear Mortimer. Now
let us join the ladies."
* <t a iy * ■ 111
After this Talbot Gilden called near
ly every day. sending the Major and
liis wife to one theatre, while lie tools
flic girls to'.‘mother, ami l’abs Idolized
him.
One day he had accompanied her ta
the studio to watch tiio progress of
the portrait when a telegram which
had been s oil on from the house was
handed to him and he left, the studio.
“Miss Gilden." said Guy. throwing
down palette and brushes, “our picture
is nearly finished, and 1 am sorry life
has been very sweet to me.”
“We shall never meet again," sho
said gently. "My aunt can afford to
keep me no longer. 1 i tn to teach in a
school," and tears rose to her glorious
eyes.
“Balls, dear, 1 am a poor man, but.l
can save you from being a governess,
at any rate. I love you. darling, em
blem of everything that is pure, lova
ble and good. I will not ask you for
an answer. If you will have none of
me break this cup." and lie put it into
her hands. Shn gently touched it with
her iips; ho understood. In a moment
his arms were round her, ids lips lay
upon liers.
“Guy, Guy," she said, brokenly,
“heaven is very near to tne now. dear
one. Heaven is very mar.”
"Weil, girlie, you might ask your old
father's consent,” and Gilden entered.
“Father - father', are you my father?
Oh, father, my heart is full.”
She kissed him again and again, and
then turned to her lover, moist-eyed,
her bosom heaving. lie clasped her
hand.
“We are going to be poor together,
father. Guy and I will help you,
and
Tiie genial old fellow hurst into a
loud guffaw, and clapped tlie artist on
i he shoulder.
“Artists, ns a rule, don't know much
about finance.” lie said, “but i lliink I
can show you some figures that will
rather astonish you.”
And Ella? The generous, unselfish
little soul, when she heard the news,
first had a good cry, then laughed, and
said she was a little fool, and then
thought that for the iasi three months
she had been rather unkind to Tom
Daeres. whom she had known all her
life, and who was “something in the
city."—New York. News.
The Aulomobilion* Yocabuliry.
Patrons of rile motor car seem deter
mined to enrich the language with
more new words, the generic names of
their vehicles, the appellations of the
drivers of them, and the various tenses
of the ver!) “to motor.” We have seen
iii an automobile journal "niotoruien”
written without the hyphen, like press
men. “AutoinobHism." signifying the
pastime or business of motor ear driv
ing, appears to have come to stay.
Various manufacturers of motor car
specialties allude to their goods as
“motorities,” “motralities” and “mo
torccssorlcs,” while two of these
tradesmen have named their factories
and shops “Autornobiliu” and "Mo
torin'' respectively. "Motiflc," which
caught, oh# eye the oilier day. was. we
fancy, only the motorist's telegraphic
address. But who knows that that
fearsome word may not yet come into
extended use, a person in the motiflc
state being one taken with mofor car
fever.—Westminster G nssette.
Value of a Broken Xoek.
A Chicago court has decreed that
$35,000 is the price of a broken neck,
when the victim of such an accident
does not. die. Such damages were
awarded recently to Frederick Thoer*
fell. a carpenter employed by the
T'uion Traction Company of Chicago,
About a year and a half ago Thoerfell
fell from a scaffold and broke his neck.
He is one of the few cases where such
an accident had not brought death.
HE BRUNSWICK DAILY NEWS.
An English company has perfected
a kerosene burner for steam vehicles,
which, in experimental trials covering
over 1000 miles, with four passeugns
in the carriage, showed an average
cost for fuel of but onc-flfth of a c ut
a mile, as compared with two an* a
half cenm a mile when gasolene was
used amt but two passengers carried.
Full steam pressure was kept up con
stantly. regardless of the demands t f
tb.e engine.
There is at least one lighthouse i'i
the world that is not marked cn any
mariner's chart. It iif away out in tlie
Arizona Desert, and marks the spa:
where a well supplies pure, l'resh rr
ter to travelers. It is the only place
where water may he had for forty-live
miles to the eastward and for at least
thirty miles in any other direction.
The “house" consists of a tall cotton
wood pole, to the top of which a lan
tern is hoisted every night. The light
can be seen for miles across the plain
iu every direction.
-V writer on nature tells how eats
help the growth of red clover. The
tube of the blossom is too long for the
honey bee to get at the nectar at the
base of the flower, so it is left to the
bumble-bee to do this, aud tints fertil
ize tiie plants by carrying the pollen
from one to another". But the field
mice destroy the homes of the bumble
bee and eat their stored-up honey, and
if left to do this unchecked would soon
by destroying tiie bees deprive the
clover of its means of fertilization.
The farmers' eats, however, catch the
field mice, and tints help to save the
| clover. .
It is said that hundreds or people
| gain a livelihood in the volcanic dis
trict of Middle Italy by digging up
ptunico stone, which is a volcanic
| product. Volcanoes furnish many
| products that are of value In art, arclii
j lecture aud commerce. Anjong them
are gypsum, or plaster of parts; basalt,
\ chalcedony,' porphyry, jasper, feldspar
and rock crystal. The diamond, as is
| well known, is of volcanic origin. The
I various hot springs, where sufferers
| from disease find relief, are produced
, by the same natural agencies that
I cause volcanic eruptions. Scientists
I say that they occupy the sites of an
cient volcanoes.
A promising method of reducing
hearing friction is the use of some
j form of a roller bearing. One of the
i latest types, tiie Ilyatl. says the Iron
i Age. has, instead of solid rolls, a series
jof coil springs. These are so flexible
j in use that a slight derangement of
| the axis of the shaft will not throw
| the journal upon one edge of the roli
! ci's, as is the case when they are
'solid: but tiie springs will retain con
tact along the entire length, thus mini
mizing wear on both .loui’iia’ ‘bnd bear
ing, Another advantage lies in the
facl that the roller nets as an oil reser
voir. while roller and spiral together
perform the function of an oil carrier,
j This makes perfect lubrication auto
| malic and largely diminishes the
1 amount of attention required by the
| hearing.
|, Two plumb-lines, of No, 21 piano
wire'Njd 1250 feet in length, were re-
I ceutly in the Tumarae!:
Mine, at Calumet, Michigan. The lines
each curried a fifty-pound iron hob.
and were hung twelve feet apart.
Measurement showed that the lower
ends of the lines diverged about three
quarters of an inch. Various reasons
were suggested for this, but none of
them were wholly satisfactory. To
avoid possible magnetic repulsion,
bronze wires carrying sixty-pound
load bobs, and 1440 feet in length,
were suspended in another shaft of the
mine, and they showed a slight con
vergence at the bottom; but when tiie
same wires were suspended in the
original shaft they diverged as the
steel wires had done. The conclusion
readied is that the divergence was
due, neither to gravitation nor magnet
ism, hut to the influence of almost im
perceptible air-currents in the shafts.
Carious MonstroßltleN.
“For flip lirMt limp 'within tin* ‘rmin*
ory of the oldest inhabitant' of Hart
laud or Barnstable.” writes a corre
spondent of the Westminster Gazette,
“a double-beaded snake (Vipern herus)
has been killed near the former place,
where those reptiles abound. I have
only seen one abnormality of the same
kind, aud that was found in the Island
of Arran in IS<i,S. The late Frank
Buckland Imd In ills museum at Re
gent's Park a double-beaded snake, but
that was a ring snake (Tropidoaotus
natrix), which, strange to say, is more
liable to develop monstrosity forms
than our common adder. The Devon
shire curiosity, like Dockland's, lias
one head larger than the other, the
smaller one growing out of the side
of the breast.”
“It is a very.curious faef." continues
the correspondent, “that in animal life
double-headed ness is more common
among fish than any known terrestrial
mammalians or insects, and even
double-headed salmon have been arti
ficially bred and reared, i have been
double-headed rats, mice, one pig, sev
eral calves; and two-headed human
beings are not unknown. There is
one peculiarity about these monstrosi
ties not yet fully understood. In the
case of snglces the curious-brutes ap
pear to live a normal condition of ex
istence, in the case of tile lower mam
malia they rarely survive many days.
The most extraordinary monstrosity I
have ever seen among birds was ft
pheasant chick with its eyes inside its
upper mandible; in all other respect*
it was a perfectly formed bird ” i
/ LATEST '
New York City.—Blouse jackets are
ilways jaunty, always smart and very
generally becoming. The excellent
May Manton .model illustrated is of
woman’s tucked iu.ou.se jacket.
sibeline, in brown with threads of tan
•olor, collar and cuffs of brown velvet
Hlged with bands of tan cloth, stitched
with eorticojli silk, and makes part of
t costume, hut the design suits the odd
wrap equally well and is adapted to all
lie season’s materials. The collar Isa
ipeeial feature and is both novel and
dylish.
The jacket is made with fronts and
lack and is smoothly fitted at the hack,
tint blouses slightly over the belt at
Ihe front. Fronts, back and sleeves
ire laid in tucks, in groups of three
'iicli. and arc finished with machine
stitched edges in tailor style. The
right front laps over the left and the
closing is effected by buttons and but-
LONG COAT WITH CAPES.
on holes in double-breasted style. The
neck is finished with the big turn-over
foliar, aud to tiie lower edge is seamed
tiie basque. The full sleeves are gath
ered into shapely cuff’s at the wrists,
and the belt conceals the joining of
blouse and basque portions.
The quantity of material required
for the medium size is four yards
twenty-one inches wide, two and an
eighth yards forty-four Inches wide or
ills and seven-eighth yards fifty-two
nclies wide, with seven-eighth yards
if velvet for collar, cuffs and belt.
Woman** I.ong <’oat With Cnp(‘.
Long coats arc much in vogue and
ire both protective and comfortable.
I’ho stylish May Manton example
-liown in tiie large drawing includes
lie becoming and fashionable capes
ind becomes syited to traveling, gcti
*ru 1 use, evening or bad weather wear
is it is made of one material or un
it her. The original, from which the
drawing was made, is of Oxford grey
melton cloth, with collar of velvet, and
handsome curved metal buttons, but
-loths if lighter weight and of various
colors and oravenette materials are all
appropriate. The edges are finished
with double rows of machine stitching
in black eortlcelli silk.
The coat is made with loose fitting
double breasted fronis and backs,
which outline the figure stylishly and
are joined by means of under-arm
gores. The under arm seams arc left
open for a few inches above the lower
edge to allow greater freedom, and at
each front is inserted a pocket under*
Ticath u lap. The sleeves are two
seamed, and are finished with roll-over
cuffs. Over the shoulders are arranged
triple capes that are cut without ful
ness. The neck is finished with a regu
lation collar and lapels that turn back
over the edges of the capes.
The quantity of material required
for the medium size is live and a half
yards forty-four inches wide or five
yards fifty-two inches wide.
New Model Muff.
The tails which once decorated the
ends of a muff, where they long swung
in triumph, have now been removed.
Our modish muff shows three fine bushy
tails, all strung lu line, on the front of
the muff. One is in the exact middle,
and the side pieces are not far off, at
quite a little distance from the ends of
the muff. Such a muff made up in sil
ver fox is all glorious. -Do not try this
In ermine, where the tails are small.
It requires a full, fluffy tail to display
tiie style. Dark mink, blue l'ox aud
black fox can all show off the new
model muff which will be worn the
coining winter.
Handy and Handsome.
In the shape of a suit case is a hand
some bag of black leather for a wom
an's use. The inside is finished witli
dark blue velvet and leather. On the
inside of the cover are three pockets
with flaps of the leather, marked re
spectively “handkerchiefs,” “gloves”
and “veils.” On either side of these
are straps, and in one a glove stretch
er, aud in the other a paper cutter.
Across the top of the body of the case
is a something iu the nature of a tray,
and in straps are the various toilet ar
ticles, bottles, etc.
A London Idea.
The girls in London have a clever
Idea for their whiter veils. They line
them with the thinnest of tulle of a
Hash tint, taking care that it is done
imperceptibly. The two are folded
over tiie face together, and the tulle
takes a\yay the frozen, pinched look
that on a cold day shows through the
ordinary dotted veil.
Rut.tofiH of Old Silver.
Beautiful filigree buttons of old sil
ver are used on coats of squirrel. In
fact, all the fur garments are en
hanced by exquisite metal or enamel
buttons.
Cliilfl'rt Double Itreaftteil Cape.
Capes make by far tlic most conve
nient of all wraps for wee women as
well us for lliose of mature years, for
no other sort allows of slipping on and
off with such perfect ease. This styl
ish little model can be made suited to
cold weather or to the milder days, as
It is made of heavier or less heavy ma
terial. As shown it is of cadet blue
cloth, the hood lined with bright plaid
silk and the collar of blue velvet, but
wools of various weights, colors and
weaves are appropriate.
The cape is circular and falls in
graceful ripples at the lower edge. The
hood is seamed at the centre arid is ar
ranged over the shoulders, the tipper
edge being’seamed to tiie neck that Is
finished with a roll-over collar. The
original is lined throughout anil is
finished with machine stitching done
with eortlcelli silk, but the edges can
be turned under, stitched and pressed
when that method is preferred. The
right side laps well over the left in
double-breasted style, and the cape”is
closed by means of buttons and button
holes.
The quantity of material required
DOUBLE BIIEABTED CAPE WITH HOOD.
for the medium size (six years) is one
and seven-eighth yards forty-four
Inches widd or oue and seven-eighth
■yards fifty-two Inches wide.
DECEMBER 7
Our. Budget
of Humor.
Mini'. Link .ml Woman’* Buck.
Poor-woman! She is “Mrs.” whea j
Siu: leaves her single state, 4
And so is suffered by the mem (
To sit around and wait.
But man. more fortunate by far <
Is "Mr.” all his days—
L Though wedded, there is stil! no bar •
' liis title serva. to raise.
—ChWoco Record-Herald.
Strict Attention.
“Why don’t you look out at this
beautiful scenery?”
“Oh, I am traveling on business and
not for pleasure!” -Fliegende Blaetter.
lie Wasn’t Olio of tlic Two.
Uncle George—“ You are always com
plaining about your wife's bnd temper,
but you know it takes two to make a
quarrel.”
Harry—“ln this ease the two are my
wife and my wife’s mother.”—Boston
Transcript.
Tlic Soui.
Daintleigli (at the hoarding house) —
“Beg pardon, Mrs. Skinner, but isn’t
this the same soup we had yesterday
warmed over?”
Mrs. Skinner—“No, sir, it is- what
was left over from yesterday.”—Bos
ton Transcript.
A Sense of Superiority.
• “Doesn't it annoy you to have alt
these more-or-less literary persons
criticise you so severely?"
“Not at nil,” answered the poet lau
reate. “They are Jealous because I
don’t have manuscripts declined with
thanks."—Washington Star.
Depends on Circumstances.
She—“Do you regard marriage as a
necessity or a luxury?”
He—“ Well, when a man marries a
cross-eyed girl who says silly things,
whose nose turns up at the end anil
whose father is worth about $2,000,000,
I should say it was a necessity.”—Chi
cago Record-Herald.
Siffna of Prosperity.
“How do you get the reputation of
being so much richer limn you are?”
asked the intimate friend.
"Very easily. I wear my old clothes
as long as possible and never admit
that 1 have any money that I could
lend. People take it for granted that
I must be prosperous."—Washington
Star.
Kpf?
No More Suspense.
“Why did you insist on getting me an
upper berth in tiie sleeping car?” asked
the habitually austere lady.
“Well,” answered her irrepressible
niece, “you have been expecting for so
many years to find somebody under
bed that I thought It might re
lieve your mind to have all doubts on
the subject removed for once,” . >
.. ..j,. , <4 >
A Northern Clime.
—Detroit Free Press.
A fair Philosopher,
“And you really think that the ignor
ant may be successful in life?” said
the man who enjoys abstruse discus
sion.
“Certainly,” answered Miss Cayenne;
“the man who thoroughly believes in
himself has a great advantage. And
self-esteem is frequently based on the '
grossest sort of Ignorance.”—Washing
ton Star.
From Sole to Upper.
“What is this 1 leathery stuff?” tiie
diner asked, when the second course of
the dinner was served.
“That is a filet of sole, sir,” replied
the waiter
“Take it away,” said the diner, after
attacking it with Ills fork, “and see if
you can’t get me a nice tender piece of ■
the upper, with the buttons removed."
—What to Eat.
The Ant ami the Sluggard.
“Did you go to the ant?”
“I did,” replied the sluggard, “and
my visit convinced me that industry
has a pretty hard row to hoe. When
1 arrived people were sweeping 'the
ant’s .castles and store houses off the
brick walls and scaring the bustling
throng of workers away from the
house by means of cayenne pepper and
other painful or poisonous drugs. I
must say that, rather thun be as un
popular as an ant I’d be a sluggard.”-.
Washington Star.
Uncolonlal llames.
Mrs. Plngey—-“I don’t see how you
can manage to go to church three times
:m Sunday.”
Mrs, Bland—“l do It, simply by doing
no work of any kind on the Sabbath,
f think it positively wicked for women
to stay home and cook dinners for
their husbands on Sunday.”
Mrs. Plngey—“l suppose, then, yon
have a cold luuch at noon?”
Mrs. Bland—“ Oh. dear, no, I always
take dinner at Mr. Bland's sister.
She's a splendid cook, and she always
tries to do heftiest on Sundays.”—Boo
ton Transcript.