Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

SUNDAY MORNING. LIFE, PESSIMIST. Tlicrc is never a tiling we dream or do i-iu was dreamed and done in the ages gone: 8 Livery s oid; there is naught that is And to it will he while the world goes on; The thought* we think have been thought The deeds we do have long been done: '' e Pjtdo ourseivcs on our love and lore And both are as o.d as the moon and _ SUn ‘ We strive and struggle and swink and sweat, And the end for each is one and the same; Time find the sun and the frost and wet W ill wear irom its pillar the greatest name. Ko answer comes for our prayer or curse, Ao word replies though we shriek iu air; .. Ever the taciiturn universe Stretches unchanged for our curse or prayer. With our mind's small light in the dark we crawl, Glow-worm glimmers that creep about. Till the power that shaped us, over us ail Poises His foot and treads us out. Unasked, He fashions ns out of clav, A little water, a little,dust, And then in our holes He thrusts us away, With never a word, to rot and rust. ’Tis a sorry play with a sorry plot, This life of hate and of lust and pain, \V here we p.ay our parts and are soon for- Cot, And all that we do is done in vain. OPTIMIST. There is never a dream but it shall come true, And never a deed but was wrought bv plan; And life is filled with the strange and new, And ever has been since the world be gan. As mind develops and sonl matures, These two shall parent earth's mightier acts. T.ove is a fact and ’tis love endures Though the world makes wreck of all other faet3. Through thought alone shall our age ob tain Above the aecs gone before; The tribes of sloth, of brawn, not brain. Are the tribes that perish, are known no more. Within ourselves a voice of awe, And a hand that points to balanced scales. The one is love and the other law, And their presence alone it i3 avails. For every shadow about our way ! here is a glory of moon nnd sun; But the hope within us hath more of ray Than the tight of the sun and the moon in one. Behind all being a purpose lies. ~'"" Undeviating as God hath willed; And he alone it is who dies Who leaves that purpose unfulfilled. Life is an epic the Master sings. Whoso theme is man and whose music soul, Where each is a -word in the song of things That shall roll on while the ages roll. —Madison Cawein, in Smart Set. “GRIP," JHE TALKING CROW A True, Fascinating Story. By Etidora Block- BIP came into tny possession I / !n this wise: One day in April \ I chanced to meet a couple of urchins who had been rob bing crows’ nest, thinking they Vert doing a vast good for the farmers by exterminating the robbers of their cornfields. I had long believed (hat the crow was not so black as he was painted, and that for every- kernel of corn he stole he destroyed many grubs and insects, which would have injured the crops far more than the bird could have done with all of his depredations. A sorrier object I never saw than this poor kidnaped baby crow crouch ing in the folds of a ragged and tat tered old hat. He was very ugly in his half-fledged feathers, with large head and long beak, but he looked so pitiful that my heart went out to him at once. We soon had made a bargain. The boys then ran off with happy faces and still happier hearts, clutching a few dimes in their little fists, while I pro ceeded homeward with ru-y newly found pet wrapped in my handker chief. As soon as I had reached home I placed him in a good-sized chicken crate under a large pine tree in the front yard, where I fed him bread and milk, which he gulped down greedily, and, like Oliver Twist, kept, crying for more, until I thought his appetitf never would be appeased. I kept bJn In the crate for several days, feedpig "him very often. When he saw lie would spread his wfngs, mouth, and shrilly #!.'aw, for something to e* Ills !|§fm*V voracious, lie ytiid eat n to him; bread, £ greedily 1 wi Ijjgro how the i the mrnv.- ■jP|id diilfiot last long. Vti.v t! roe weeks 83Hig' i ■ cow. with beau feathers, of which r/ pansies rear the AjMSph v.A| my pride, was his ht' Every morning I jduck ‘the blossoms, which were fgees that smiled up to -vas always on hand to as qwVijnt he would min every lloiv- off. and he did it so Ik I knew that he was jealous I loved. go ’way," I would using a little him however, down he ■' gain into the pansy bed, nnd “snip, snip" would go thoir head*. Tlicro wns scarcely an hour In tlio day when someone was not calling out, "Go ’way, Grip, go 'way,” for the whole family kept watch over those pansies. At times Grip would be very loving. Alighting on my shoulder he would cuddle down close to my face, uttering soft little croaking notes. Then ho would slyly pull the pin from my col lar, nnd begin snatching at the hair pins In my braids. At other times, when I called him he would not come to me, hut would alight near me, and look at mo so Impishly while I plead ed. “Come hero, Grip; come, Grlppy, come hero.” One day I was coaxing him thus ns he hopped along on the top hoard of the fence. He put his head down nnd seemed to be choking nnd swallowing. After several such spasms he uttered the words, “Go 'way. Grip, go ’way,” very distinctly. I could hardly believe my cars. Grip, my crow, could say three words: “Go ’way, Grip.” For a loug time he had chattered and made guttural noises. lie would scream and laugh like a young Imp. But now he could talk, and, aside from being sur prised I was delighted. He soon learned to say “Go ’way. Grip,” with out effort, and not long after that I heard him say. “Come here, Grip; come, Grlppy, come here,” In the same coaxing tone I used to him. Rainy days were Ills delight. Then he held high carnival on the woodpile, where he wsuld chatter nnd laugh, coax nnd scold by turns: “Come here, Grip, come here,” in a soft, coaxing tone; then harshly, “Go 'way, Grip, go ’way.” It sounded as if two children were quarreling. Later he learned to say “All right.” “Hurry up,” nnd almost any hour in the day he could be heard, if not seen, practicing his new accomplishments. During that fall I taught the district school, half a mile from home. It was a pleasant walk in good Weather. Grip wns on hand to see me safely on my way each morning. He would hop or fly along, or ride on my shoulder, until he came to the bridge spanned the creek just half way school house. Then he would fly up in a tall willow tree bending over the water. Thus far would lie go, but no farther. One morning, however, lie alighted on the window of the school house, tapping loudly with his beak upon the glass to he let in. The children all knew Grip. lie was famed through out the neighborhood for his powers of speech nnd 1113 Impish and cunning pranks. Immediately the hands went up to beg permission to let him 111, with promises to be good and to study hard. The unanimous request was granted, and Grip flew to my desk and began picking up pencils and pieces of chalk. Then he went from one desk to anoth er, looking for more pencils. No doubt he thought ho had struck a rich field. I must confess that lessons were for gotten, so*intent were the children in watching this strange bird, which hopped from desk to desk nnd peered into their faces iu such a curious way. Alas! he came to an untimely death. One night he failed to meet me at the willow upon my return from school. No one had seen him that afternoon. I found him in a shed, crouched upon an old barrel, looking very sick nnd miserable, and with green stains upon his bill. The can of Paris green was found overturned in the barn, and that told the story. The poor fellow had been eating the poison. He refused food, uttering plaintive little croaks as I stroked him nnd said “Poor Grip!” I left him for the night, hoping his crow constitution was strong enough to re sist the deadly poison. In the morning I found him sitting as I had left him, but no soft croak greeted me. He was cold nnd stiff in death. Do you wonder Hint my tears fell freely, and that 1 felt, no sliame In weeping for a dead crow?—St. Nicho las. Titled Convicts in Jail. A Vienna paper states that few peo ple have any Idea of the large number of men and women of noble birth undergoing penal servitude on the Con tinent, Rays the London Express. It estimates that Russian prisons alone contain 12,000 aristocrats, while there are several thousand noblemen in the penal establishments of Italy. Two Dukes of Notarbartolo are, for instance, at present undergoing penal servitude for life in the Italian prison of La Maddalena for the brutal mur der of a young officer whom they had swindled at card playing and who had threatened to denounce them as card sharpers. Among the convicts in a Belgian prison are Prince Charles do Looz- Coswarem, who committed a number of gigantic frauds and one crime of violence, and the Marquis of Varela, for the murder of his own mother. In France there are several hundred titled aristocrats in prison, and though no statistics arc available regarding Austria and Germany, the same state of things is said to exist there, also. Crime* Rarely does any official report con tain such depressing mattes as that on prisons- ■JtM* the Home Office, says the London correspondent of the Baltimore Herald. It formally records that during last year the num ber of people In prison Increased by between 17,000 and 18,000, as com pared with the previous year. In Lon don criminality had so largely in creased tliat between 3000 and 4000 prisoners of both sexes have to be transferred to provincial jails for lack of adequate accommodation in the me tropolis. Nor is this terrible growth of lawlessness of an abnormal charac ter; it appears to have acquired nor mality, judging from the fact that the number of London commitments in creased from 38,373 In 1891 to 03,591 ill 1901. - I —--—.’.'rj _ lit Its of l.ce Belts of lace appear on many gowns, and entire lace dresses with embroid ered incrustations. Indeed, the dress of to-day is so complex tli.lt, as com pared to (lie gowns of a year or so ago, you might be describing a dozen, or, at ail events, half a dozen. What a differ ence to the robes of sixty years back, when plain, long skirts, lined, with no foundations or Imlayeusos, and a jacket bodice were in vogue. Those were the days of best gowns, worn for two or three years and not then de mode. We have changed all that. We buy gowns now to wear at once and dispose of quickly. They nix* no good a year hence. It is difficult to have few gar ments, but In that lies the only hope of good and economical dresses being a success. A Perfect Femnlo Ann. Measured from the armpit to the wrist joint it should be twice tlie length of the head. The upper part of the arm should be large, full nnd well rounded. The forearm must not lie too fiat, not nearly so flat as a man’s, for example. A dimple at the elbow adds beauty to a well proportioned arm. From a well molded shoulder the whole arm should taper in long, grace ful curves to a symmetrical and round ed wrist, li is hotter to have an arm that harmonizes, even if the parts do not follow tlie generally accepted lines. For instance, a full, round upper arm which is joined to a fiat or thin forearm has a very had effect. It is only a degree worse, however, than a graceful, well molded forearm tacked on lo a thin, scrawny upper arm. Correctness of form is not the only thing necessary for a good arm. The owner must possess the power of ex pression in her arms. Those nationali ties which show the most expression in their arms are the Spanish, French and Italians.—New York News. A New Chatelaine. rockets are just ns indispensable as ever to the woman of fashion, even If she has been deprived of them for so long a time, and since they cannot be worn Inside, they are now worn out side. The hag habit grows stronger every day. The newest chatelaine ling is made of brocaded silk, and it offers an opportunity for a lilt of sentimental association. Almost every one has stored away n piece of brocaded silk, cherished either because of a happy memory which clings to it or because* of Ks family history. Now such n keepsake can be put to a practical and attractive use by making out of it the body of a chatelaine bag. It should be suspended from a group of chains, which may be cither of gun-metal or ' dull silver, plain or jeweled. These chains are attached to a big ivory lint ton. which is drawn through the belt, holding the bag In place. Of course, in mailing a bag of tliis description It must be sent to an experlenccTl work man to be properly made and correctly mounte d.--Woman’s Home Companion. Haslnefid Women’s Woes. A woman who has been compelled by circumstances to keep house and support herself and several children for some years by (lie exercise of her professional talents, said: “Until a woman has it she never knows what it means to be housekeeper and business woman com bined, and Few can stand the strain for very long. I break down every lit tle while, but Just now I do not see any other way to adjust matters. “But it is this division of duties that gives (lie opportunity for the criticism sometimes heard relative to women’s and men’s ability in business. A man is not expected to do anything else but attend to business during business hours, and then amuse himself in the way he best likes afterward. “But a woman is not only expected thoroughly to understand the business In wliicij she is interested, but to know how to conduct a house in all its de tails and, furthermore, to put this knowledge into practice, and n great many business women try to do too much.” r . A New Fad in King*. At a recent performance at Mis. Os born’s playhouse a woman prominent in the “smart set’’ made a startling ef fort to introduce anew “fad” In rings. As she raised her opera glass to scan the house from her box it was seen (it could not help but be seen!) that she wore on the little finger of her left hand a cluster of brilliant diamonds surrounding an enormous pearl. The ring was one to excite attention In it self, but what made it a startling feat ure pf.vthe- lady’s appearance was the fact that it was worn outside the white kid glove! As to the woman’s position in the inner circle of the “smart sef’ there is no question. She lias influ ence, audacity and force. Though no longer in her first youth, she is always perfectly groomed, and no debutante can boast more exquisite or more ex pensive toilettes. It lias been regarded ns “the limit” to wear rings over gloves. It is con sidered worse thaft wearing diamonds at the breakfast table. That it is infi nitely more convenient to put them on over the glove than to. put on a tight glove over them has nothing to do with the case, of course. None but a woman strongly intrenched in a social position could have dared do it The question THE BRUNSWICK DAILY NEWS. is, “Will she set a fashion?” New i'ork Times. Worn at Slender Throats. Now that everything is turned down at the throat, and some bodices even collarless, maids and matrons whose throats are long must give due consid eration to dressing them becomingly. Furs are ever graceful and pretty about tlie face, but cannot be always worn, especially when indoors. So far as one can judge at present there will be nothing for it but smart cravats of tulle or chiffon. And there is, furthermore, a hint of broad soft silk bows beneath the chin. If rib bon cravats tied in uncompromising severity close beneath the chin ar to be worn, now is tlie moment, when ribbons are soft to a seductiveness past describing. The broad black Velvet bow is likely to make a big bid for favor; than this there is no more becoming trifle, al beit It is one that asks a certain dis tinction and style of person to carry off with perfect eclat. irtovdoiV OIAT Princess Charles of Denmark, young est daughter of King Edward VII., is an expert wood carver nnd her special ty is said to be pipes. An English lady, Miss Ethel Bloome, has taken the degree of M.I). at Leip *ic. She is the first woman doctor to graduate at Leipslc University. Tlie Empress of Germany lias a spe cial body guard, consisting of twenty four picked soldiers, from the tallest men of the lofty Imperial guard. The widow of a Cleveland clergyman who occasionally filled her husband's pulpit during bis lifetime lias been called to the pastorate since his death. Miss Ellen Terry spends a great; deal of leisure in collecting choice perfumes and gorgeous materials. The latter she uses in personal adornment ns well as for decoration! Miss Florence A. Fensham, dean of the American College for Girls at Con stantinople, is the first woman to be come a bachelor of divinity in the Con gregational Church. A Chicago woman earns money in an unusual way. She reads all the new works of fiction and acquaints society ivomen with the most interesting nov els, giving the tale in an abbreviated form, outlining the plot and calling at tention to the principal characters. The right of mothers as well as fath ers to decide regarding the domicile, choice of profession and marriage of minor children has been recognized le gally by the Dutch Parliament. Hol land has also passed a law by which women may be appointed guurdiiuis for children not tlielr own. JlfrXPS\ <§, cj The flatter the hat the better milady likes It tills season. The extreme mode of the season In hats Is a pure white beaver trimmed entirely in white. t Sliawl shapes and shawl collars are tlie prominent features of the neck wear tills season, itoyal blue and black, with the black predominating, is one of the very latest color combinations of dressdom. . Habit hip corsets steadily grow in favor, and certainly aid greatly in the fit of the fashionable skirt shapes. Seemingly every other thought is made subservient to the desire for a trim, neat fit in tlie newest lingerie. Asa revulsion from the very heavy linen kinds, popular lately, the correct collar and cuff sets grow sheerer and sheerer. Black lace gowns, profusely trimmed with lace medallions and jet, over a white foundation, arc one of the smart est evening gowns of the winter. Brnids and jets are among tlie most favored garnitures of the moment. White doth, embroidered in colors, is also extremely stylish on velvet gowns. In shape there is nothing perceptibly new, even in the mpst swagger cos tumes. I.yug, vertical lines, gracefully sloping toward the hack, is the prevail ing effect. This might be called a sleeve senson, as apparently more thought and elab oration of design and trimming are ex’- - ponded on them than on any other part of the gown. iSome few of fashion’s arbiters havn issued the mandate, “The circuiat flounce must go,” as it is used to reple tion. Its diminution in vogue is nht noticeable as yet. Younger women will do well to choose one of the fancy short jacket* of fur In vogue this winter, rather than a three-quarter-length coat that is also worn, os they are so much more youth ful in effect. If you want to bring an old-styla tight sleeve up to date slash the back from the waist almost to the elbow, insert a goodly sized puff of silk or chiffou, pipe the slash and edge each side with tiny buttons and you have copied one of the most recent shapes. * ( HINTS ABOUT | I HOUSEKEEPING f Frctly China Bowls, Fine china bowls, usually with handles nnd covers, after the fashion of the rice bowls familiar in collections of Oriental ceramics, have to some ex tent supplanted the time honored soup plate as well as the bouillon cup. For ClcnninK Cut Glass. A strong solution of soda is the best agent for cleaning cut glass. If the carafe shows murky inside markings fill it half full of the liquid and add some small pieces of potato parings. .Shake it vigorously and rinse it care fully in clear water. Scrub the outside with a small brush. To Clean Household Brushes. Household brushes are easily cleansed by the use of a solution of soda. Dis solve one pound of the soda in one quart of water, stir over the- fire until dissolved and then bottle for use. When washing (lie brushes put a table spoonful of tills soda solution in a quart of water, adding a little soap for tlie soft hair ones. Rinse in clear, cold water and dry in the open air. Toa Much Brlc-a-IJrac. Artistic decorators are much! averse to tlie too frequent practice of “clut tering” tlie top' of every available piece of furniture and every shelf with a lot of bric-a-brac. Tills specialty applies to the tops of the built-iu book shelves so much used now. They affirm bric-a-brac needs very careful, very sparing treatment, and that the upper part of such cases form 4 shelf that is a very decorative part of a room when not crowded with a number of superfluous articles. ' Doinnstlo Pointers.’ To keep seed-beans from being eaten by weevils, put in a sieve nnd pour boiling water over them; dry in the sunshine. Lemon pies and lemonade can be made without lemons by the use of acid phosphate and lemon essence. The difference cannot be detected. To tone down and beautify the com plexion, bathe the face in bran-water to which lias been added a few drops of ammonia. For neuralgia, cut a thick slice of bread', soak one side for a minute in boiling water, rapidly sprinkle cayenne pepper over the hot side, and apply to face. It will not blister as mustard does. iV*,. v A spoonful of ox-gall in a gallon of water will set the colors of almost nny goods. Soak before washing. A teacupful of lye in a pailful of water will improve the color of black goods. Take anew flower-pot, wrap in a wet. cloth, put over butter, and tlio butter will keep ns upon Ice. A raw onion bruised nnd applied ns soon as possible to a bite of any ven omous thing, snakes Included, will cure the wound.—Woman’s Home Compan ion, -iy ‘ - fpj’ RECIPES" 'l Bread Tarts—Cut slices of bread one quarter inch thick, ent them with a biscuit cutter ipto rounds; moisten tlie surface with a little milk, using a small brush; spread with Jam or marmalade; put two tarts together; heat a little butter in the frying pan, lay in tlie tarts, fry on both sides a delicate brown; sprinkle with powdered sugar; serve hot Corn Oyaters-jfjne can of corn; beat the yolks of two eggs; add them to the com, then add the beaten whites; mix thoroughly; add half a teaspoon of salt, a dash or two of white and cayenne pepper and about one-third cup of flour; beat thoroughly; put two. table spoonfuls of butter or dripping in a frying pan; when very hot drop in the mixture by spoonfuls; brown on both sides; serve very hot. : Peanut Cookies—Cream”together*one cupful of sugar and four tablApoon fuls of butter, ndd two beaten eggs and when blended add alternately oue half cupful of milk and one cupful of flour, in which you have used two teaspoonfuls of baking powder, if pre ferred. Shell two quarts of peanuts, chop them fine and stir into the dough. Do not roll out the dough, but turn the .-baking pan bottom up and butter it slisntiy; then drop the dough by the the pan nndbake quick ly. Remove carefully, and when cool put them in a tin box. Chicken Terrapin—Chicken terrapin may be served in hot ramekins. Cut a cold chicken into cubes and marinate with oil, vinegar, bay leaf, onion and parsley. Make a sauce of two table spoonfuls of butter, two tablespoonfuls of flour, the mashed yolks of three hard-boiled eggs, salt and parika and a pint of cream. Cut the whites of the eggs and the chicken liver fine and mix them with the drained meat. Slix them with the hot sauce. A dash of nutmeg is liked by some people. Each ramekin should stand on a plate on a folded napkin. By its side should rest a fork. The ramekin should go to the table covered. _ —*.— AT WATERLOO, . Woman XVlio Saw Napoleon T.env. tIA Field of His Last Hattie. Lc Gaulols gives an interesting ac count of a conversation with one of the very few surviving spectators of the battle of Waterloo, a widow named Givron, the 100th anniversary of whose birth is about to he celebrated in tho little village of Vlesvllle, Hainault, She reflates that on the morning of the day of the great battle she ran away from her parents and made her way through tlie woods, being curious to see wliat was going on. She was closif to Ilougomont when the place was at tacked by the French troops, and re mained in hiding for hours, not daring to move. The cannonade having di minished she ventured toward ilie farm, but fled horror stricken at the sight, t lie ground, as she expressed it, being red mud, so drenched was it with blood. She ran across the fields and reached tlio Hois de Flancenoit, where she fell asleep, worn out by fatigue and excitement. At dusk she was awakened by the noise of horses’ hoofs and saw a troop of cavalry, headed by a man of short stature mounted on a curvetting gray horse. He was riding slowly on. as if in a dream, looking straight ahead and paying no lieed to what went on about hi pi. The girl learned on tlie same her relatives, when RhesUP^'reached home, that tho i’ l de>|pfg§ Napoleon. Mine. Givron Is remnriaS^Factive, and is particularly proud eyesight, which, she declares, is as good ns it was seventy-five years ago. When her daughter, Marceline. who. an she says, is only seventy-two, sits down to sew, her mothe* threads tlie needles for her. The old woman had seven children and her descendants number ninety-two. WISE WORDS. Eloquence Is vehement simplicity.— Cecil. F'” The greatest prayer is patience.— Buddha. Generosity is the flower of justice.— Hawthorne. Goodness thinks no 111 where no ill seems.—Milton. Ilis praise is lost who Walts till ull commend.—Pope. Diligence is the mother of good for tune.—Cervantes. Live only for to-day and you rujn to-morrow— o. Simmons. From labor, health; ffoin health, con tentment springs.—Beittie. There is 110 index of characters as sure us the voice.—Wtsraeli. Win hearts, and you have ail men's bauds nnd purses.—Burleigh. Delicacy Is to tlie mind what frag rance is to the fruit. —A. I’oineeloJ. No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself.—Greville. Sympathy with nature is a part of the good man’s religion.—F. 11. Hedge. Tlie public man needs but one patron —namely, tlie lucky moment.—Bulwer. Next to the originator of a good sen tence Is the first quoter of It.—Emer son. The desire of appearing clever often prevents one becoming so.—Rochefou cauld. Pride is seldom delicate; it will ploaso itself with very mean advantages.— Johnson. • A Bowlder For Ingalls* Grave. Tlie grave of John J. Ingalls, at Mount Vernon Cemetery, will bo mark ed by n native bowlder deposited on Kansas soil in tlie glacial period. This will be done in obedience to a letter written in tliq Senate chamber at Washington, December 10, 1890, to Mrs. Ingulls at Atchison. The letter follows: “This life Is ro delightful that I dread the thought of leaving It. I have seen mid experienced so little of what may be seen and known that It seems like closing a volume which I have only glanced at the title page. “Our ground in tlie cemetery should have a ‘monument.’ I bate these obe lisks, urns and stone cottages, and should prefer a great natural rock one of the red bowlders known as the lost rock of tiic prairie porphyry from the north, brought down in glacial times— with a small surface, smoothed down, just large enough to make a tablet in which should lie inserted the bronze letters of our name—‘lngalls’ and nothing else.” A stone such as described is now being sought. A Nicety of Leave-Taking A little nicety of leave-taking that Is practiced by a certain well-bred wom an, says the Dundee News, is to rise to end the visit while she is the speaker. In this way she is apparently leaving while she is much interested. T-iiis is better than to start at the end of a pause, or to Jump up the moment your hostess’s voice drops. One way Implies boredom, the other waiting for a chance to get away. This may seem a trifle of observance, but it is worth while if only to train one’s self in the habit of easy leave taking—a rare accomplishment even among women with wide sects 1 “'xpes rience. Once standing, leave promptly, and avoid spinning out a Second visit In the hall. • Costly British Warships. The battleships and cruisers now building In the Government yards in England, except Devonport, are cost ing more than the estimates, save in the single case of the Albemarle, In which a saving of S4OOO was effected. This is not such an indictment against Government building as it seems at first sight, for the eight contract-built battleships now building will exceed their estimates by $700,000 and the eleven cruisers by 8875,000. At Devon port a saving of $20,570 was made in the building of the Bulwark and S2J,- 785 In the building of the Implacable. fshe Funny fide o f Life, In Turn. V Tho insect sees the tiny mite And eats him as its natural . l-ht* •. The chicken sees the insect tarn And dines upon him, then and there. Man eats the chicken, if he ewi; - And such is nature’s wondrous plan That this same man—perhaps His just— Is swallowed up by some big-trust, —WafehingtQiytet,r love and Ignore. < " She—'“What does your love amount to, anyway?” He—“lt’s overdrawn my salary for six months.”—New York Herald. " Accon *n mu’.its. “Don’t you dislike Ihe smell of gaso line that goes with an automobile?” , 5 “Not so much as the smell of arnica that goes with it.”—Washington Star. How It Happened** > Gladys—“llow did Belle come to re fuse Unit millionaire?” 41 Edith—“He swore he was only fifty, when he was really over seventy, and she, poor girl, believed him.”—Judge. ; A Scare Head? • Reggie—“l wish I Until* what char acter to assume at the masquerade party to-morrow night ” 5 Archie—“ Put a display head on your.* self and go as a loeictj doliini%’yL, ; Chicago Tribune. A Business Mini’s Tribute. “You admire that musician?” “Very much,” answered Mr. Cumrox. “For liis compositions or for his per formances?” “Neither. For his nerve in charging $5 a seat.”—Washington Star. ? An xesrtin "Remember," ml ihe whbti ton, "that no mail c\ or Ft : this earth returned.” “Tjiere was eng,” spoke tpsthe boy' in the red cap. "Who was he?” “Santos-Dumont.” -Chicago News, 4 4 Tli© Steam Auto, | I j ? ‘■'"Vi' 1 /,; I |phß ”I ' U'JmaJß . .-rmt 7 rj US? "So you’re using that thing to redUee.’l your weight. 1 shouldn't think would be' sufficient exercise iu It {.<&s ‘that.” “No, but every time the Wifter gfclt?F low 1 lose about five poumfej exjy ■ lug it to blow up.”—ficrihiusf The Honorable Member*. “I suppose tlie arrival of new Con gressmen from time to time has a tendency to give variety to life in tho Capital City.” “Not a great deal,” answered the man who is more or less cynical. “It. merely means the introduction of new names into the same old anecdotes. I ' Washington Star. . ’ Y* Neir Version of Napoleon fn Egypt. “Soldiers of France,” exclaimed Na poleon, “from yonder pyramids forty centuries look down upon you!’” “Forty cents?” exclaimed a soldier who was hard of hearing. “Well, we’ll make them look like thirty cents be fore we’re through!” „ Whereupon the battle thickened, and the Man of Destiny dined that night, v, n French Cheops.—New York Trip- . uue. ' IjgjgMHHM An Uncertain JJatcrprUa. “So,” remarked Miss Cayenne, “you think of marrying that: man 10 roi'onn k. il) -" “I can’t say tit" l do., • are tliut you v. met specked In reform ing him. A it you do'jsucceea. ha | will probably cease to be interesting” —Washington Star. ■' ' Various!-, troubled 7 onnntfre^lHH Tenant—“S. i. bat house . > rented me is ii • I with rats. Every , night we are waited up by the rack§jßf’V; i Agent—" That’s very TfaE last'tenant never said a word abiiflp rats.” “Well, then, of course, you are tsoIS to blame.” “No. Tlie people who lived there fore never complained of anything ex-3'S copt ghosts.”—Non- York Weekly/J bloodless Surgery* - do you tliint ua Yes, sir,” replied • . • goon. “But first bring mc'tlrbinatfre|stS the boy sleeps on.” .’*l It was brought. The surgeon found a hole in itM enlarged the hole, felt, around tnnbfigM mattress, and presently brougH® forth a piece of jewelry.-' “There, sir," lie said, “is the brcasplu a you thought your boy had BwailowodSfll ‘"nii'ii, necessary:” exclaimed the. oveJM&iifSl : parent. ' “No other operation,” rejoined thtv'Jj surgeon. -The bill will lie ?JO. IcM Thanks. The boy will get along; aireM right now. Good afternoon."-New ■? York Press. tf| DECEMBER 38