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<folumbia jjeiilinel. T-V" '* ■ ~ ~ ’ HARLEM. GEORGIA. ~ I.YI.KY TUtiRHUAY. XBoallaard «*» AiUlnxm. Th* Wa»hington monument may noon <x«M to lie the biggest in the world, when the French complete a metallic tower 1000 feet high for their exhibition in 1H«0 Thi« high edifice will have a glaaa cupola in the • iirnmit, reached by elevator*. The outlook from thia cupola will be more oxtentetl than that from the tower of Bale), ami probably twice ax wicked and intereating. A correapondcnt writing from Sonora, Mexico, aaya aurpriaing change- and ad vancement bnv< been noted within a few year*. The immenae aombrero and alaahed pant* may be *aid to have disappeared in the town*, anil are supplanted by store | Clothe* and the dcrliy. The Mexican ae norita ia no longer a creature dreaeil in tawdry, tinsel and color, but a lady of taste an'l elegance, as mindful of the latest fashion plates as her Americas sister. Professor Jluniphnw, an English inves tigator, says that in the first year of life the mortality among males ia much greater than among females. 'I he average height of women he has found to be five feet three inchca and of men five feet aix inches. In pulse and respiration, also, the women have the advantage, showing eight nine in com parison with the man s seventy three, while the latter's aspiration is nineteen a* against twenty-two of the weaker sex. In the course of testimony taken in a suit in which Hamuel .1. Tilden is intcr cated, Mr. Tilden said it was painful for him to speak. ‘'l have an affection of the larynx which Impairs the elasticity of what arc called the vocal chords, so that they will not come together,and air passes through without their helping to form words, and so reduces me to a whisper. There la no soreness fir apparent disease, but only the loss of elasticity, so that it makes me talk with great difficulty, and generally in a whisper, excepting when I haven cold, under which the chprds ap proach each other better.” Henry County, Virginia, and Ross ville, Kansas, take* pride in the fait that their politics are run by young men. In the former case every person who holds office in the county is under 37 years of ago. The Circuit Judge is 3*l, the County Judge 2H, tin- Attorney for the Comwon wealth 24, the State Senior 27, the Dele gate to the House 27, the Treasurer 31, the Superintendent of Schools 34. Clerk of th<‘Circut Conrt 25. the Sheriff 21, and the Jail I'hysiiiim 21. In Rossville, the Mayor is only 23, the Police Judge 27, the Principal of Public Schools 25, and the Postmaster 22. A great many bright ideas owe theii Inception to a good dinner. Sir Edward Thornton, the British minister at Wash ington some years ago, was dining nt Sec rvtary Fish’s one evening, when the lat ter made the remark that the two great English speaking nations could not of ford to have the then existing A labium misundi rstanding c uitiue. Mr Fish vug gestrsl the formation of a commission to settle the controverted matter for all time. After dinner the two men talked tire matter over nt considerable length, and the Geneva conference actually took aliape from that hour. Nevada is sometime* spoken of as the extint I state, Ih-cuu-v its |»>pulation has dwindled down to u few thousand from the collapse of the mining industry. It has been claimed that there was no hope for the state, but the Dayton .V, ir» A’< porter think* differently. Il finds in the Miuthcm portion of the state a pleasant region capable of sustaining a perma nent population. It says: “In the vicinity of the Colorado River our •outhern lioundary not only do olive trees grow, but many other tree* indi genous to tropical climes. There may bi no'ii flourishing the orange, lemon, fig ami jiomegnmatc. The vine there pnxlus'es as delicious fruit as in the most favored localities in France, Italy or Spain. There alao has l>cen produced the finest of tobacco and the soil yields eottont at attic rated 1000 pounds to the acre. KecjicM of government lighthouses are no longer to pine by reason of the dull monotony cf their duties. Some inven tive geuiu* at Washington has evolved a acheme for saving tho lighthouse keeper from the evils of idleness by making him a collector of bird and frog statistics. A big blank is furnished, entitled “Investi gations in Economic Ornithology,” with a aeries of questions relating to the names of birds seen, the date of the first appearance of each kind of bird, the number of specimetu, the second ap pearance, the last appearance, and the comparative frequency of apyrcarance. There is also a calendar furnished, on which the lighthouse keeper is required to make an entry of the date on which the first toad, the first frog, and the first first peeper or tree toad were seen, and the date on which certain mammals and reptiles emerged from a state of tuber- Edward Atkinson calculates that an eight-hour law would only affect one in ten among all the workers In the coun- ; try, the other nine-tenths being engaged in occupations In which shorter hours are impracticable, as farming, herding, ■ fishing, carrying, railroading and tho like “It seems," »ay* the London Jeinret, “that the little toy Indloon* of India rubber bladders which the children in flate with the breath may be readily re versed by inspiration, and even drawn Into the air passages. In two instances recently death has occurred by suffoca tion, a baboon of the sort being drawn into the o|>cning of the glottis. This is a matter of danger which ought to be recognized. Parents and nurses should be on their guard. Lota of cranks visit the Philadelphia Mint. The majority look sensible and are well dressed, but some can lie iden tified as insane at the distance of a block, and the attire of these are in keeping with their disordered intellects. Men and women who are a little “gone in the upper story,” as the poet puts it, go to the Mint usually with but one errand— , to collect thousands of millions of dollars which they firm-y believe is there de posited to their credit. Most of them an- from the city, but once in a while one puts in appearance who has come a goodly distance by rail to get money sup posed to be all ready. By long and painful experience the jolly chief usher of the Mint has been led to adopt one unvarying mode of treating his cranky vititors. He don’t fling them into the street. He don’t even order them away, or advise them to go to a place where intellects are cheaply repaired, but instead, he agrees to all they say, acknowledges that there arc tons of | thousands of millions of dollars, I as the case may be, waiting for them, and then gets rid of them by some polite excuse for temporary delay in pay ment of their claims, or sends them upm fool’s errands to see government officials who exist only in imagination. Biscretlon of n lliglihinder. One day at Blair Athol, the Duke ot Athol, having entertained a large party at dinner, produced in the evening many curious and interesting family relics for their inspection, among them a small watch which had belonged to Charles Stuart, and had been given by him to one if the Duke's ancestors. When the company were on the point of departing, the watch was suddenly missed, and was searched for in vain upon the table and about the apartments. The Duke was exceedingly vexed and declared that of nil the articles he had exhibited, the lost watch was the one he most valued. The ; guests naturally became uncomfortable, 1 mid eyed one another suspiciously. No person was present, however, who could possibly be suspected, and courtesy for bade any further step than the marked expression of the noble host’s extreme annoyance and distress. The guests de parted for their homes in an unenviable state of mind, and the mysterious disap pearance of the royal relic was a subject of discussion for several months in soci ety. A year afterward, the Duke being again nt Blair Athol, while dressing for dinner, felt in the breast pocket of a coat which his valet handed to him, some thing which proved to be tho missing watch. "Why, exclaimed bis grace, “here's the watch wo hunted in vain for ; everywhere last year.’’ “Yes, sir,” j gravely replied the valet, “I saw your ; grace put it in your pocket.” “You saw j me put it in my pocket and never men tioned it! Why didn’t you speak at once and prevent all that trouble and unpleas ant feeling!” “1 didna ken what might have been your grace’s intentions,” was the reply of the faithful and discreet Highlander, who saw everything, but said nothing unless he was directly in terrogated. Pie Not a Yankee Invention. I’ic is n »t one of the inventions which a punitive providence left for the exer cise of Yankee genius. It is very much older than America, so far as the modern age knows anything about America. It is Fn mh, Spanish, Italian, English, German. It is of the north. It was carried into the British Islands by the marauding migrants from the northern sea*. Our own word is a corruption of a very early British word, and is, in etym ology, a first cousin of ‘'partin'’ or “pasty." Pie is our name or what is now more familiarly known as "tart” in tlie land when all was once pasty. The tart of to-day differs from con temporaneous ).i» telly in this: The in terior of the tart is thicker than the inte rior of the pie. It takes more apples to make a tart than to make a pie, if the pie-maker be frugal, as she generally is. In the European countries the tart is biked in a deep carthern dish. In Yan kee land pie is stewed into sogginess in a tin pan.— Herald. A Swell Affair. “What is a swell affair, Jimi” “Swell affair! Jemme see. Ah! yes, i I know—a boil." “Something else, try again.” “No. Give it up. I hate conundrums anyhow.” “A hill, ye know. Don't ye see, a hill i* a swell affair,and beside* all hills have got crests.”— Timidity—A Hlndea Fable. A rffynxxm, thfnirfng Meh thing a cat, Fsfl iai*o tealplaa* worrUnmt thereat; Bak nottoad by a Wiiard living near, Waa tamed Into a cat to end its fear. No sooner wae the transformation don* Than dreadful terror of a dog begun. Now, when the Wiaard saw this last throe, “Hart, baa dog," ha said, “and end your woa" But, though a dog, It* tool had no releaa*. For fear tome tiger might disturb it* peace. Into a tiger next the beast was made. And still 'twat pitiful and *ore afraid; Because the huntsman might, some Ulster red d«y, Happen along and take hi* life away. “Thai,” eaid th* Wizard, turning to his house, “You have a mouse’s heart—now be a mouse." Tia to with men; no earthly help or dower Gan add one atom to their native power; Them from their smallneaa nothing can arouse— No art can make a lion from a mouse. —Joel Benton- HIS FRIEND, BT MANLKT H. FIXX. Ariadne Adams inigbt truly be called a fortunate girl. Sbc was piquant enough to have been wicked, but she was very good; she was good enough to have been ugly, but she was captivatingly pretty; she wo* pretty enough to have been poor, but she was paralyzingly rich—so rich that she might have done up her bangs in Government fours and no one would have objected; for her father was a bank rupt by profeasjpn, and invariably broke for ten cents on the dollar. One might think there was nothing to add to these advantages, but Ariadne had more. She ptossessed a troop of de voted friends, of all ages, both sexes, and differing conditions of servitude, of whom this narrative concerns only a few yonng gentlemen. She managed to keep them all happy, and enjoyed to the full the various kind of pleasure they afford ed her, for a long time preventing any proposals on their part, which she was most anxious to avoid, since she loved none of them. Nevertheless she was in love. This is often so. Alcides Monroe, the fortunate object of her passion, didn’t appear to reciprocate. This, too, is of ten so—perhaps oftener. And the more she adored him, the more he didn’t adore her. This is the oftencst of all. Matters approached a crisis. Ariadne was altogether too fascinating to allow her masculine friends to remain friends any longer, and they became—not ene mies, but something almost a» bad—lov ers in fact. And when a young lady’s lovers are not what she wants, and give her no end of pleasure as friends, it is hard for her to refuse them and thus lose their society forever. One morning Ariadne was sitting in care less thought, when George J. Fisher was announced. George was a produced r iker and he knew beans and all other vege tables intimately. He was always well supplied with money, but particularly so at this time—the fresh, just-opening summer time, when his country custom ers were sending in large consignments of early peas. This wealth he spent in driving Ariadne out in remarkably fine style. He made the object of his affec tions what might be called a business man’s proposal, and awaited the result. “Alas, Mr. Fisher,” said she; “I must decline. I do not love you; I can be only a sister to you.” That wasn’t at all the relationship he . wished to stand in to her. He said so, i and left. “My delightful drives are at an end!” sighed Ariadne. Then there was another arrival. Karl Fredrich Christian Ohrspelter, the cele brated musician and pianist, who used to play Wagner to her as long as the instru ment held out, and then sing until the police interfered. On one occasion he had fought a desperate battle with the “Gotterdammerung,” and had three pianos shot under him. lie proposed in u florid Gothic style. She said: “Alas, Herr Ohrspelter, I must decline. Ido not love you; but you shall find in me a cousin.” He was not satisfied, either, and de parted in wrath. Ariadne looked sad. “The music of the future is the music of the past for me,” said she. Another arrival. There seemed to be an erratic epidemic in progress. This time it was a talented young dramatist He was very successful in composing plays, because he read French with ease. With him Ariadne hail attended many a “first night,” and acquired a vast knowl edge of things theatrical. His declera tion was adapted bodily from the last Paris success, and did credit alike to his feelings and his memory. Ariadne repeated her former speech, and suggested that he should regard her as an aunt. But he refused. “I have adapted al most everything,” said he; “but lean not adapt myself to such a situation a* thia” He immediately folded his tent, like the Arab*, and quietly adapted away. There was no more theater for Ariadne. Next came her artistic adorer, who had painted a large numlier of plaques and screena for her, as a slight testimoni al of hi* lov*. He had alao executed a ■ magnificent painting on the hall floor, choosing this singular place because all his other pictures hail lieen “skied" to such an extent that it wax a real pleasure to have one, at least, as far away from the ceil ing a* possible. He didn't by any means take kindly to Ariadne’s proposition that he should consider her hi* niece. Then her saltatory slave, the best wait zer she knew, put in an appearance, and wouldn’t listen to her offer of a accond rousinship; nor did her muscular mash, who could run a mile in five minutes, i and liad the largest biceps ever seen off a ' gorilla, with whom she attended nil sort* of athletic games, wish her to be his third-cousin, which was all she had to to give, her stock of relationship being closed out. When she was finally left alone, she reflected bitterly that every source of amusement and all her best escorts were lost to her because she had been too fas : cinating. The question now arose in her mina whether she was fascinating enough— enough to obtain the long-desired yet never obtained affections of Alcides Mon roe. He was sure of a favorable answer if he proposed, since, as she thought, there was nothing she could be to him except his wife without infringing on the patent of one of his predecessors. At this moment he entered, amply pro vided with manly beanty, immense wealth, splendid talent’, and everything else necessary for the equipment of a first class, super-extra hero. He made his appearance in great agita- I tion and a new suit, In fact, he was so very much agitated that he had forgot ten to remove the price-mark from his collar —but, as the figures were tolerably high ones for a ready-made article, it didn't make so much difference. “Ariadne, said he, “this is the most momentous day of my life.” “And of mine,” she whispered. “Ariadne,” he continued, “I am daz zlingly happy.” “Me, too!” cooed she. “Ariadne, I am about to—” “I know it.” “You have always been— “l have!” “And aiways will—•” “Can you ask?” “Be my friend?” “What?" “Yes, my friend. It is to you that I first communicate my felicity. Honoria has at last consented, and next month will see us united—consolidated, as it were, agreeing to pool our receipts for ever upon an equitable percentage, and never to cut rates. Wish me joy!” “Bnt Ariadne had fainted. She had been too fascinating, yet not quite enough so—and she was Alcides’ friend. —Manley 11. Pike. The Lost Tribes of Israel. A proclamation was lately issued by the Ameer of Afghanistan which brings forward one of the most curious riddles in history; the disappearance of the ten lost tribes of Israel. Ethnologists and antiquarians have followed every trace of these vanished nations with the ardor of sleuth-hounds on a trail. There is hardly a race in Asia, Europe or America that has not at some time been proved to be descended from the lost Israelites. Chief among these are the Chinese, the Mongol Tartars, the Japanese, the Cossacks, the Gypsies, and the American Indians. Even the Saxons, through whom bluff John Bull and Puri tan New England got into the world, have had, and still have, their supporters as to this mysterious claim. A library of learned tomes has been written on this single question, The Afghans in feature strongly re semble the Hebrews, but they hold them selves aloof from the modern Jews, of whom there are large numbers in the kingdom. The Afghans call themselves Beni Melik Talut, or Sons of Saul, and the legend of their origin is that when David took possession of the tkrone of Saul, that King’s grandson Afghan, a giant in size and strength, established himself in the mountains of Persia, and afterwards in the country now known as Afghanistan. Sir William Jones, the great antiqua rian, examined the proofs of this story and gave it credence. The Ameer's recent claim is of interest to the Hebrews and others who attempt to interpret the ancient prophecies, as many of them hold the belief that the Hebrew race will all be gathered again into the Holy Land, and that immedi ately before this restoration the tec lost tribes will be discovered somewhere in the neighborhood of Afghanistan. It is, in any case, a curious question, involving I the descent of a race through the most ' mysterious regions of history.— Youth't Campanian. A Gofd Position. “What pay do you get?” asked a man who had just arrived in a western Dako ta town, of the marshal. “Twenty-five dollars a month.” “Isn’t that pretty small wages?” “Oh, yes, it would be if I had to work all the time. You see, whenever the cowboys come in and get drunk and the air begins to get sort of thick and sultry like with bullets I go home and crawl into the cellar. They are here pretty frequent so I have an easy time of it”— UW.) BdL BILL NYE. The Humorist’s Account of an Accident With a Mouse. The Moral ie, Never Arouse a Man Sud denly from a Sound Sleep. No one should be suddenly wakened from a sound sleep. A sudden awaking reverses the magnetic currents, and makes the hair pull to borrow an expres sion from Dante. The awaking should be natural, gradual, and deliberate. A sad thing occurred last summer on an Omaha train. It was a very warm day, and in the smoking-car a fat man, with a magenta fringe of whiskers over his Adam’s apple, and a light, ecru lam brequin of real camel’s hair around the suburbs of his head, might have been dis covered. He could have opened his mouth wid er, perhaps, but not without injuring the mainspring of his neck and turning his epiglottis out of doors. He was asleep. He was not only slumbering, but he was putting the earnestness and passion ate devotion of his whole being into it His shiny, oilcloth grip, with the roguish tip of a discarded collar just peeping out at-the side, was up in the iron wall-pock et of the car. He also had in the seat with him, a market basket full ofmisfit lunch and a two-bushel bag containing extra apparel. On the floor he had a crock of butter with a copy of the Punkville Palladium and Slock Grower's Guardian over tho top. He slumbered on in a rambling sort ot away, snoring all the time in monosyl lables, except when he erroneously swal lowed his tonsils, and then he would struggle awhile and get black in the face, while the passengers vainly hoped that he had strangled. While ho -was thus slumbering, with all the eloquence aad enthusiasm of a man in the full meridian of life, the train stopped with a lurch, and the brakeman touched his shoulder. “Here’s your town,” he said. “We only stop a minute. You’ll have to hus tle.” The man who had been far away, wrestling with Morpheus, had removed his hat, coat, and boots, and when ho awoke his feet absolutely refused to go back into the same quarters. At first he looked around reproachful ly at the people in the car. Then he reached up and got his oilcloth grip from the bracket, the bag was tied together with a string, and as he took it down the string untied. Then we all discov ered that this man had been on the road for a long time, with no object, appar ently, except to evade laundries. All kinds of articles fell out in the aisle. 1 remember seeing a chest-protector and a linen coat, a slab of seal-brown ginger bread and a pair of stoga boots, a hair brush and a bologna sausage, a plug of tobacco and a porous plaster. He gathered up what he could in both arms, made two trips to the doer and threw out all he could, tried again to put his number eleven feet into his number nine boots, gave it up, and socked him self out of the car as it began to move, while the brakeman bombarded him through the window for two miles with personal property, groceries, drygoods, boots and shoes, gents’ furnishing goods, hardware, notions, bric-a-brac, red her rings, clothing, doughnuts, vinegar bit ters, and facetious remarks. Then he picked up the retired snorer’s railroad check from the seat, and I heard him say: “Why, dog on it, that wasn’t Iris town after all.”— Pill Nyein Current. Cyclane Cellars. A number of persons in this town are building cyclone cellars—underground retreats upholstered with large limestone rocks into which they can crawl away when a cyclone may happen to be going through the country. Some people feel above the cyclone cellar and profess to be unable to see the advantages to be de rived from using it as a sitting room or sleeping apartment. We, however, think differently. We would much rather re tire to some wcll-conducted cyclone cel lar whenever there appears to be a well founded suspicion that a cyclone is in the neighborhood than to be obliged to spend the next day chasing around the country collecting our limbs. It may not look as heroic to go into a cyclone cellar every night and set the time-lock on the door for nine o’clock the next morning as it does to stay above ground and fasten a notice to each limb saying that “this belongs to So-and so, the finder will please return,” but it cer tainly will produce greater peace of mind. No man can be at his best with a leg in lowa, an arm in Minnesota, another leg blowing across the British Possessions and detectives hunting for the other arm. A man may have three or four sets of wooden legs and artificial arms but he would hardly do for this country. The difference might not be noticed in the East but he would be put at a great dis advantage in the West. We are going to build a cyclone cellar. It will be twenty-five feet deep and with a long, dark, narrow passage leading to ft. We intended to stay in it all the time to avoid creditors and if a cyclone happens in the neighborhood it will have just as hard work to find us as they wilL —SelMint CDak.} ML Fair Morning in the Uarba r> Fair morning is on tho harbor, And morning on tho bay, ■ And the boat* that were lying at 11 Now idently steal away. ~ B No wind in the sails to bear then ■ They drift with the tide afar, ■ Till they enter the outer harbor H And silently cross the bar. ■ It may be tho skipper is sleeping, I He sit* at the rudder so still; H It may be the skipper is thinking ■ Oi his young wife on tie hill ■ She wastes no moment fn sighing; ■ With day her labors begin, I Wide open she flings tho shutters ■ To let the still sunshine in. ■ She pauses only an instant I To look at the steel-gray dew, ■ From that to the rose bush glance*, I Where it sparkles fresh and new. I And down the slope to the harbor, I And over the harbor afar; I For her dear little heart with the skipper I Is just now crossing the bar. I “God bleas her I” the skipper is saying, I “God bless him!" the wife returns, I Thus each for the other is praying, I While each for the other yearns. I —James Herbert Mores. I HUMOROUS. I Plan facts—Western prairies. I The way of the world—Round it* axis. It is a wise railroad stock that know* its own par. A cannibal is believed to be very fond of his fellow men. Professor—Which teeth comes last I Pupil—the false ones, sir. The man with a No. 15 neck and a No. 14 collar has a hard struggle to make both ends meet. Dun (drawing out a bill) ; Excuse me, sir—Perplexed debtor (hurrying away) ; Pray, don’t mention it. It was a Vassar graduate who wanted to know if the muzzle of a gun was to prevent it from going off prematurely. “Who should decide when doctors diss grec ?” We don’t know who should, but we know that the undertakers generally does. There is a slight difference between the dead beat and the apprehended thief. One asks the bar to charge the account, and the bar asks the other to account the charge. Professor at Columbia—“We cannot taste in the dark. Nature intends us to see our food.” Student—“ How abouta blind man's dinner ?” Professor—“ N ature has provided him with eyeteeth, sir.” The Arabian Horse. Arabian horses are being imported into America to a slight extent of recent years. Messenger, the famous old stallion from ! whom our American trotting stock is all descended, had a large strain of Arabian blood in him. Arabian stallions have been brought to this country from time to 4ime as pres ents to public men and others. But it is doubtful if a full-blooded Arabian mare was ever in the United States. They are valued more highly than the and not allowed to leave the country. There are six distinct families of horses tn Arabia, and the pedigree of some oi them runs back unmistakably for five hundred years. They come of old families. These are the horses for swiftness and endurance. They are not draught horsey but in the two qualities named they exce) all other breeds in the world. They have delicate necks and fine, small, straight limbs, flashing eyes and a strongs flowing mane and tail. They are not large, fifteen and a half hands being an unusual height. The back is not arched much, the tail is high set, and the hoofs are always small, black and very tough. Centuries of pounding over the sands oi the desert have made them so. They have small ears and powerful chest, from which they get their great endurance. They are distinguished for soundness of wind and limb, though their far-oS cousin, the Kentucky horse, of late years seems to be developing a lack of hardiness. The Arabian horse is noted, too, for its gentle temper and intelligence. Its mas- I ter, the Arab,' says the horse is Allah’s best gift to man. A Wonderfnl Toy, A wonderful toy has been on private exhibition in Paris. Fancy seven life sized kittens covered with real skin, but with eyes of emerald set in white enamel, and playing upon a flute, a zithern, a violin, a drum, a harp, a comet and an accordion, all perfectly harmonized and going through the most striking airs of the new and successful comic opcrast The unseen mechanism is of the same kind as that of a musical box, and the sounds given forth are most delightful, so that the owner of this remarkable toy can have a most agreeable concert at any time by touching certain springs and winding them up. Another Match Spoiled. They were looking over her family al bum, Birdie and her Harold, when they came to a portrait of an aged gentleman. “Who is that old baboon?’’ asked Har old. I “.Why, replied Birdie, shutting up the book angrily, “You don’t think grandpa looks like a baboon, do you, Harold i”—A«w York GrafUa