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sy i m A -- mwm win «r% -—■ k CZ m /a * VOL V. dirge. Foil 0X12 WHO VEIX 1S BATTLE. Pnom for a soldier ! Lav him in Iho clover He loved the fields, and they shall be his cover; Make his mound with licrs who called him once . her lover; Where the rain may vain upon it. Where the sun may shine upon it, Where the lamb hath lain upon it, And the bee will dino upon it. Hear him to no dismal tomb undor cilv churches; Take him to tho fragrant fields, by the silver birches; Where the whippoorwill shall mourn, where the oriole perches; Make his mound with sunshine on it, Where tho bee will dine upon it, Where the lamb hath lain upon it, And the rain will rain upon it. Posy as the busy bee, his rest should bo the clover; fcTfntle as the lamb was he, and the fern should be his cover; Pern and rosemary shall grow my soldier's pil¬ low over— Where tho rain may ra in upon it, Where the sun may slime upon it, Where the lamb hath lain upon it, And the bee will dine upon it. Suusliine in liis heart, the rain would come full often Out of those tender eyes which evermore did soften; fie never could look cold till wo saw him in his coffin; Make his mound with sunshine on it, Where the wind may sigh upon i* * Where the moon may stream upon it, And Memory shall dream , . upon it. » “Captain hymn or Colonel”-wl-^,^. the bes^ invocatimi Suit our nQ uiatu . r for tljy g(a _ tion— On thy gvave^ tRe ra ; n f a p f r0m (],, eyes of a • mighty nation 1 Long as the sun doth shine upon it Shall glow the goodly pine upon it, Long ns tho stars do gleam upon it Shall Memory come to dream upon it. T. W. Larsons. M AMICABLE SETTLEMENT Mr. Gimbiet, the celebrated ex-detee ?tivc, was foolish enough to transact his : Stock Exchange business through an outside broker. With all his astuteness, lie ahnred the idiosyncrasy of mauv ■ clever people, his of being somewhat care¬ less about private affairs, and the glowing advertisements of Messrs. Vant k Siowbody had badly proved by irresistible. He had not done the firm, upon the whole, when one mtirning he learned to his great disappeared disgust that the junior part¬ ner had after committing extensive defalcations. Mr. Gimblet, fortunately, had recent¬ ly realized nearly all his securities and duly received payment. There remained a balance due to him, lint it was not very much, arid if the failure ol Messrs. Vant & Siowbody had occurred in the ordinary way, ho would have borne his loss with equanimity. But, according to the reports published in the newspa¬ pers, it appeared brought that the misfortune had been entirely about by the flagrant dishonesty of Mr. Siowbody, who had taken advantage of his senior’s temporary absence to abscond with an enormous sum of money, r.nd had ap¬ parently contrived to p^-t clear away with bis booty. The FVcatost sympathy was hastened expressed for y au t i who had home o\, bearing the startling news, only ' t0 find himself utterly ruined. It made Mr. Gimblet very angry indeed to think that he had been r °fojed, and ho determined scot-free that Mr. for rfiowbody should not escape could render. want of any assistance ho Accordingly Mr. Gimblet attended tho preliminary meeting of the creditors of the firm, dressed in his best, with the inevitable flower in his buttonhole. No¬ body paid the slightest attention to him, for he modestly kept in the background and took no part in the proceedings. He did not trouble his head by attempt¬ ing to follow the figures and the dry •business details wnich bore upon tho important question of the dividend the ■estate would yield, but certain parts of Mr. Vant’s pathetic and eloquent much, state¬ ment interested him so that when the meeting adjourned, he politely accosted that gentleman and requested a few minutes’ conversation. Mr. Vant seemed inclined to resent Mr. Gimblet’s demand as an imperti ii- nee. ILe was a florid, elderly man, with a loud voice, and rather pompous ammners. He probably considered he had made, that rafter the ample statement the questions that be had satisfactorily answered, and the unanimous vote of sympathy by which his creditors had testified their appreciation of his straightforward conduct, he might be spared the importunities of individual creditors. this “I am afraid that just at sir,” moment he I have no time to give you, re plied, glancing rather superciliously at Mr. Gimblet. might , “Very well. Only I thought T I . „ possibly be of some service to yon/’ said Mr. Gimblet, quietly. inquired Mr. Vant. “In what way?” Gimblet,” said the “Myuame is ex detective, producing one of his business cards. ;. M,V„, ot through my late partner ; that is why I did not recognize you. Come in here. Mr. Gimblet followed Mr. Vant into a small private room, with a gratified smile upon his shrewd lips. Vanity was the ex-detective’s weak point, be could not help feeling flattered Mr. Vant’s change of manner. WRIGHTSVILLiC, OA., SATURDAY, AUGUST 2, 1884. “I believe yon are one of tne smaller creditors. Mr. Gimblet, fortunately for yourself,” remarked Mr. Vant, when they were alone. “\es, said Mr. Gimblet, taking a mental note of Hie fact that for the first time during the day Mr. Vant showed signs of nervousness. “However, I did not wish to trouble you about that.” “Oh! don’t consider mo for a mo¬ his ment,” said Mr. Vant, with a wave of white hand. “I place myself entirely and unreservedly at the disposition of my creditors. Everything I possess iu the world—my house, my plate and my carriages, and even mv wife’s jewelry*— will go toward increasing the dividend and repairing this terrible disaster ns far as lies in my power.” “So 1 understand,” said Mr. Gimblet, finite unmoved. “I wanted to ask you about Mr. Siowbody.” “A warrant has been issued for his ap¬ prehension,” what returned Mr. Vant, some¬ “Yes, impatiently. sir, I know ; but not until too late.” “What do von mean ? I gave inform¬ ation to the police within an hour of my return home/’ said Mr. Vant, reddening slightly. “I understand the facts are these,” said Mr. Gimblet. “You and your fam¬ ily were staying at Biarritz.” “Vje bad been there two montb.B,” in tRr ,posed Mr. Vant. “Exactly. You had no suspicion of your partner’s proceedings until--” ’•‘Until I received his letter from Queenstown, informing mo of his flight,” interrupted Mr. Vant, quickly. “I immediately stnrted homo by the first train, and after spending half an hour here, I called in tho police. You see I did not lose a moment.” “No ; but the letter did not reach you till several days—more than a week, in fact—after date,” remarked Mr. Gim¬ blet. “That is so. Unfortunately, I had left Biarritz with my family the day be¬ fore tlio letter arrived there. Conse¬ quently it had to be forwarded on to Paris, and that caused delay.” “Mr. Siowbody had plenty of time to reach America, if that was his destina¬ tion between the date of his letter and the time of your giving information to the police,” observed Mr. Gimblet, mus¬ ingly. “That may he. I presume these ques¬ tions have reference to a desire on your part to assist iu apprehending my late partner?” said Mr. Vant, drawing him¬ self up. “Most certainly. Considering that he iu has robbed and mined you, no one his senses would imagine you desired to assist his escape,” said Mr. Gimblet with an innocent air. “My dear sir, I—I am a Christian, a professing Christian certainly, and I hope a sincere one. At the same time, I cannot help feeling vindictive toward my late partner. As you say, he lias robbed and ruined me. When I think of the misery and suffer¬ ing he lias wrought—” said “What do the police say, sir?” Mr. Gimblet, interrupting Mr. Vant’s remarks with scant courtesy. “Well, they have no clew at present, but they are hopeful,” answered Mr. Vant, “I am sure they would bo grate ful for any suggestion you could make to them.” “No they wouldn’t, because I might tell them that they arc on the wrong ' said Mr. Gimblet, scent altogether,” companion straight in the looking his ' “However,” feigning not to face. no¬ tice Mr. Vant’s start and look of con fusion. ‘I never interfere in what doesn’t concern me. Tlio police can go their way, and I will go mine.” “You are exceedingly kind,” returned Mr. Vant, evidently striving to appear cordial, “to interest yourself about tho matter.” “Don’t mention it, sir,” said Mr, Gim blet, taking up his hat; “you see I've been robbed—that is the long and short of it. I’ve not lost much; it’s the hav¬ ing been swindled that riles me. I should like to be even with Mr. Blow body,” not singular in that desire, “You are Mr. Gimblet,” said Mr. Vant, extending his hand, “Anything you have to sug gest will receive the most careful atten tion.” Mr. Gimblet wended his way home ward in a verv thoughtful frame of mind after this interview. The fact was that he felt completely mystified by Mr. Vant’s behavior. While that gentleman was making his statement to Ids credit ors, the ex-detective had been struck by a sudden suspicion that he was acting a part. The idea came to him with tUo force and suddenness which lie had learned from experience to associate with a happy inspiration. The great sc cret of Mr. Gimblet’s success in his pc culiar line of business was a singular knack of forming a correct conclusion without the process of reasoning. He was by no means wanting in logical aided per- in ception, but be was frequently intuition bis investigations by a sort of v .i 4 i c L put him on the right track when others were vainly groping in the dark. H e had instinctively mistrusted Mr. Yant from the moment ho commenced ; j pis speech, and when the proceedings tcrm i Da ted he felt impelled to engage I fcfisrtftt | In fact, Mr. Gimblet had a of very direct strong ; impression that, in spite the gentleman evi deliCe to the contrary, sympathy than waB n o more entitled to bis defaulting partner. consider the details, When he came to however, Mr. Gimblet was inclined mistrust his opinion. It was quite that Mr. Blowbody had decamped as al¬ leged, and had involved his partner in ruin. The report of the accountants, n firm of high standing, proved indisputa¬ bly not only that Mr. Siowbody hod robbed his clients but also he had pledged property belonging to Mr. Vant, besides appopriating the whole of their joint capital. the The statement of affairs disclosed most shameful frauds on the part of Mr. Siowbody, in none of which was there the slightest evidence to show that Mr. Vant had been impli¬ cated. In fact the surrounding circum¬ stances all pointed to the innocence of the senior partner and no shadow of sus¬ picion appeared to rest upon him. But when Mr. Gimblet was seized with an idea lie did not- easily suffer himself to be disconcerted by adverse facts. Con¬ sequently, when be reached bis dingy ollice, he said to one of his assistants : you?” “Grainger, you live at Clnpliam, don’t “Yes, sir.” “I want you to make a few inquiries about a Mr. Vant,” said Mr. Gimblet, thoughtfully lilotting-pad. drawing crosses with his lien on his “Is that the gentleman who has been swindled by his partner?” “Yes. The matter doesn’t press at all; any time will do. Just find out whon he left Biarritz, and what day he re¬ ceived in Paris the news of his partner’s disappearance. You may be able to get it from one of the servants. ” After this Mr. Gimblet dismissed the subject, from bis mind, having more im¬ portant business on hand. He learned from the newspapers that no clue had been obtained ns to the whereabouts of the defaulting partner, nnd it seemed pretty certain that he had made good his escape. At length his subordinate re¬ minded him of the mission he had in¬ trusted to him. ' “Well, what have you ascertained?” “1 made tlio acquaintance of the gen¬ tleman’s valet, sir, who accompanied tho family to Biarritz. ” “Yes?” “Every one in Clapham sympathizes very much with Mr. Vant. Tho house and furniture are to be sold and the ser¬ vants have all received notice.” “Of course,” said Mr. Gimblet impa¬ tiently. “The family stayed Hotel at Biarritz nearly two months, at the d’Angleterre. They left on the 20th of January and went to Paris. The letter followed them there, forwarded with other letters from Biarritz som,e days later,” “Yes?” “The valet was in the room whon tho letter arrived. Mr. Vant opened it and was valet dreadfully did upset. Of course, tho not know what had happened at the time, but bo guessed there was something abused wrong by tho way Mr. Vant him for picking np tlio onvelopo from the floor.” “Oh! How was that?” inquired Mr. Gimblet with sudden interest. “The valet stooped to pick up tho en¬ velope which had fgllon. Mr. Vant pounced upon him directly and snatched it away from him and destroyed it in a passion.” looking “I suppose ho saw tho man curiously nt the postmark or something?” said Mr. Gimblet, thoughtfully. valet didn’t “I suppose ho did, lmt the notice anything except that the. letter had a Spanish stamp.” Gimblet, “Eh?” exclaimed Mr. quickly. “That is what the man said, sir,” said tho clerk, a little startled by an abrupt movement of his master. “Very well. What else?” inquired Mr. Gimblet. It was evident, however, that his mind was pre-occupied, and that lie paid details but little attention to the remaining which his assistant related. The latter were quite unimportant, and when the man had finished, Mr. Gimblet dis¬ missed him without asking anything further. But the incident of the letter —or rather tho envelope—afforded professed him food for reflection. The letter to have been written in Queenstown, and to have come from there. Mr. Gimblet had seen a copy of it, the original being in the hands of the police. Obviously the envelope containing it ought to have been franked by an English stamp. The fact of its having a Spanish stamp showed conclusively that it had notbeeu posted in Ireland. ^ course it was just possible that the valet might have been mistaken at a hasty glance; but, oni the other hand, why should Mr. Vant have seized it so anxiously, and why had h destroyed so important a pieceofevi dence ? Upon the whole, Mr. Gimblet was inclined to believe the correctness of the valet s story; and this suggeste the mferenw that Mr. Vant had been misleading the police and his creditors for the purpose of screening his followed partner, The train of thought which this discovery kept Mr Gun o fully occupied lor halt an hour, during which time ho sat at his desk, whistling softly to himself, with a very knowing expression. At length he roused iim wlf from his reverie, and started off into thq city, where he pan! a visit to Mr. * nnietlv quietly, “Ive called sir h® said, up™ being ushered mans office, with ttert ce 00 n f ve rfLl to see von Mr I a am sorry to say. ^ I , eupp "Z ™you y Well, I think 1 ve fou tl , t 8Cme thing, sir," said Mr. Gimblet, with edi lying humility. is ?” inquired Mb “Indeed! What it Vant, condescendingly. “Ton said the letter announcing the flight of your partner came from Queens¬ town ?” “So it did. The police have it.” “It professed to come from Queens¬ town, but I can prove that it really came from Spain, and that you kno-v it,” said Mr. Gimblet, in a half-matter of-fact tone. Mr. Vant fell back in his ohair as chough he had been shot, and turned ns pale as marble. The ex-detective’s caused oalm and penetrating gaze the denial he attempted to utter to die away on his lips. After a pause ha said hoarsely: “I did it for the best. He had wronged me, but he had been my friend, I had no other motive.” “You may tell that to the marines, sir,” said Mr. Gimblet, with a wink. “Do you mind my telling you a little story?” “What about?” murmured Mr. Vant. “About two friends of mine—call ’em Smith and .Tones,” began Mr. Gimblet, quite cheerfully. “Smith and Jones were in business together, but things went from bad to worse till nothing re¬ mained but to shut up shop. But Smith, who was an enterprising fellow, proposed to Jones to raise everything all the money they they could, to collar could lay their hands on, and to make a bolt.” kind “Nothing of the kiud 1 nothing of the I” gasped Mr. Vant. “But .Tones had a better idea than that,” resumed Mr. Gimblet. “He suggested instead that Smith should do as he proposed, and leave him behind. This arrangement would suit both of them. Smith would have more capital to make a fresh start in another coun¬ try, while Jones would remain behind and pose as a martyr. You see, sir, a crash was inevitable; Jones was bound to have lost everything, and lie pro ferred to do so under circumstances that would secure popular sympathy and induco his friends to come forward. Besides, of course, he was to have part of the swag on the quiet.” farthing,” “No. I’ll swear, not a cried Mr. Vant, vehemently. “It’s— it’s a lie, nil of it,” he added, evidently beside himself. “There is a preoions lot of money gono, Mr. Vant,” Baid Mr. Gimblet, meaningly. “Look hero, Mr. Gimblet,” said Mr. Vant, making a desperate effort to re cover his composure, and dropping his voice to a tremulous whisper, “suppose everything had happened precisely as you say, what could you prove ?” “I should leave that to others,” re¬ plied Mr. Gimblet, evasively. “But nobody could had provo anything. Do you doubt, if I done as you suggest, T should not have taken every possible precaution ? As regards your wonderful discovery about the letter having come from Spain--” “Well ?” inquired Mr. Gimblet, as his companion paused. “I deny it, but still—name yonv price I” —The London Truth. BOSS OF THE RANCIIE. How n Wicked I'nrlner Hull dozed Him Weak AmmocIuHs A foreigner who went west a year ago with more money than experience, lmt who is now returning a wiser albeit poorer man, recently related to a Chica¬ go reporter the story of his venture in the cattle business. “Why,” ho said, in talking of a wicked partner he had met in Denver, “he began to bulldoze mo from the very time wo went into partnership. We started out on tho range to count our cattle, wo two, and took only a darkey cook with us. that first night we camped he proposed said wo decide who should be the boss, and I all right. He then called a meeting, consisting of himself, the darkey cook and me, to order and nominated mo for chairman. I was elected and sat on a saddle. “Then he moved that we proceed to the election of a boss for the firm and that the election bo by ballot. motion was carried, and ho handed around his hat, putting in a ballot himself. I started to vote and he stopped me, saying that the chairman vote unless there was a tie. Well, I thought I’d get a chance to vote any¬ way when the cook put in his ballot, but. when Routt handed him tho hat the negro said he couldn’t write, and I was left without any show at all to get even, and he was elected boss. He is still bossing it.” Baby’s Birthday. Monday’s bairn is fair of face; Tuesday’s bairn is full of grace; Wednesday s bairn is a child of woo; Thursday’s bairn has far to go; Friday’s bairn is loving hard and giving; for living; Saturday’s the"bairn bairn that works is born tlio a Sabbath But on day, and bonnio and wise and Is lively gay. Contrast witli this Hie English Born of a Tuesday, Monday, fair in of face; God's Born of a full grace; Born of a Wednesday, merry and glad; Born of a Thursday, sour and sad; Dorn of a Friday, godly given; living; Born of a Saturday, work for your Born of a Sunday, neve, shall ,ro uaut— So there ends tlio weds, aud there’s an end on’t. The Lowell Citizen kindly gives advice to its young men readers: son, when you these are fearlessly cool with your girl standing evenings, see a mau in his draped in a linen duster and working a palm-leaf just fan, back look of out him, for ice-cream sign other side of at once cross to the street—you will find the walking pleasanter aud devoid of immediate ger, " A BEAUTIFUL CIGAR GIRT, /tliOAl.UMl A MYSTI5IMOUH ffltlltllKK. A Story Which Gnve Kilgar A. Poo n Plot —Tlic Uilllnic of iHury Rogers. [Prom the N. Y. Tribune.] Tho suit of Mrs. Mary Maud Carr Watson to test the legality of the will of millionaire John Anderson, who died in Paris a few years ago, recalls one of the most mysterious murders in the crimi¬ nal annuls of New York city. Anderson was a wealthy tobacco and personal manufacturer, and left real estate prop¬ erty valued at about $10,000,000. He left the greater part to his son, John Charles Anderson, The contestant claims that the will is fraudulent and in¬ valid, alleging that Anderson was in¬ sane when lie made it, and was unduly influenced by his sen and Kate Ander¬ son, his second wife. The contestant is the granddaughter of ex-Judge Barnard. Thougli the mysterious affair occurred forty years ago, it is not forgotten. The peculiarity of the crime, brutality the apparent and absence of motive, its fiendiahness, the absence of clews and the successful defeat of detectives at every point by unknown but powerful persons, invested the case with addition¬ al mystery, and it was not only the sen¬ sation of the day, but was talked about for several years. The offer of rewards, aggregating $10,000, availed nothing. Mr. Anderson had an office and tobac¬ co warehouse in Nassau street in 1841. Mary Cecelia Kogers, a beautiful girl of seventeen years, the only daughter of a mother in her dotage, was employed in Anderson’s family. Subsequently she kept a cigar store in tho rear of Ander¬ son’s office. One Sunday morning she left home, telling her mother that she would spend tho day with her aunt at Weebawkon. Payne, her lover, to whom she was betrothed, was to call for her at night, but as it rained he chose to let her remain at her aunt’s— so lie stated. Three days afterward tho girl’ii body was found in tho Hudson River, her wrists tied with ropes in a sailor’s knot, and a strip of cloth drawn so tightly across her throat that it was imbedded in tho flesh. The body was taken charge of by one Crommelin, and hastily buried, in spite of the remon¬ strances of the mother. The newspapers cast so much suspicion on Crommelin, Payne and a young naval officer that the body was exhumed for further evi¬ dence. Several arrests followed, but no conviction. The mystery has ever since remained a mystery, Edgar A. Poe worked the tragedy into a Parisian romance under tho title oi “The History of Marie Roget.” Ho transformed the cigar girl into a pretty flower girl, and made her mother the keeper of a boarding-house, among whose favored lodgers was M. Lo Blanc, a perfumer. Nassau street was tho Rue Pavee, the Hudson became the Seine ; Crommelin was Beauvris and Payne Marie’s lover, who committed suicide by swallowing laudanum, was styled Jacques St. Eustaeho. Pavne left a note stating that ho loved Mary, and could not live now that she was dead. He was also suspected of being her murderer; but liis sad death removed suspicion. The naval officer, whose name was not mentioned, was suspected of being the one who tied the sailor’s knot. A rudderless boat was found near the floating corpse. One night the boat was stolen from the barge office ; the broken rudder was left. But no. clew could ever be found of tho missing boat. So completely were all traces concealed that the secret of tho crime remained buried with the unfor¬ tunate girl. Poe invested the horrible crime with a glamor of romauce, and do picted the incidents with a wonderful dramatic realism. Among the Dry Goods. A dry goods salesman says : “Wo havo to endure a great deal at tho hands of those ladies who never buy. These peo¬ ple take up valuable time, and a good part of our energies is directed to the effort to circumvent them. Tho mo¬ ment an ‘old timer’ comes up to the counter she is instantly recognized by some one of the salesmen, and the warn¬ ing signal, a tap on the counter, is passed along the line. Then we have some fun. Tho ‘old timer’ will cal] for, say, a cer¬ tain shade of yellow. She is told it is not in stock. ‘Oh, what a pity!’ she exclaims, ‘that is just what I wanted. If you had it I would liny sixteen yards of it.’ Then it is the next man’s turn. He comes up, accordingly, and tells the first salesman that he is mistaken, that there is still a bolt of in twenty store. yards He brings of that it identical stuff the forward and lays it down. You would think the shopper who never buys would be disconcerted at this turn of affairs. Not a bit of it. $ho says smilingly: ‘Oh, that is just what I want. Lay it aside for me, and I will sco my dressmaker and find out just how many yards she needs, and to-morrow I’ll come back and buy it.’ Then she departs with a simper, but she never comes back. Wo amuse ourselves iu thin way, but it’s a terrible nuisance all tlio acme.” TnE desertions in the British army in 18811 were 3,717 altogether. Desertion is almost exclusively among the very young soldiers. In tho Public Garden of Boston this spring there are 50,000 pansies, 15,001) daisies, 500 forget-me-nots, 1,500 Canter¬ bury bells, and 4,000 tulips Sunday School teacher—“Tommy, why did Pharaoh kill the boy babies of the Hebrews and not the girls?” Tommy—“Please, Plmraoh objected only sir, wasn’t Hebrews it because and to not to Shebrews?” NO. 11. WIT AND WISDOM. Joseph was the straightest man on record, because Pharaoh made him a ruler. TnERE is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity and self-exami¬ nation. Disparage and depreciate no one; an insect has feeling and an atom of a shadow. However things may seem, no evil thing is a success, and no good thing is a failure. No man ever offended his own con¬ science, but first or last it was revenged upon him for it. It’s a very mean act in a divorce law¬ yer to follow a wedding party to church for the purpose of distributing his cards. “Wiiat are pauses ?” asked tho teach¬ er of the primary class. “Tilings that grow on cats,” piped the small boy at foot. It is not cheap butter, but oleomar¬ garine that should bo protected. Cheap butter is strong enough to take care of itself. A Western theatre manager who lost his house in a cyclone said what broke him up was too great a puff for tho place. Two Connecticut lovers have just made np after a quarrel which took place fifty years ago. Borne puoplo cannot hold malice. Don’t flatter yourself, young man, that you know a girl by heart until you find that she doesn’t no you by mouth. —Toulon Transcript. The discovery of North America, par¬ ticularly of that portion thereof named Canada, was an unalloyed blessing to the New York bank swindler. General Grant is now convinced that parents cannot be too careful in keeping their children out of tho street. —Louisville Courier-Journal. hand A woman spanking a baby with one and trying to write poetry witli tho :>tlier labors under great literary disad vau tages. —Ph itadelphia Cu11. It is said that steel pens are generally made of the finest and most costly steel. No one would think it after trying lo sign liis name to a hotel register, “Yes, indeed, she’s discussing a daisy,”remarked a young broker, the charms of a certain young lady. “Bho dazes you apparently,” replied bis friend. » Mamma,” asked two fond daughters, “can’t we have anything wo want?” “Yes, my dears; but be careful you don’t want anything yon can’t have." The Tartars pull a man by tho ear when they invite him to take a drink. You can always tell stick a dead boat there by the way liis ears out irom his bead. Courage that grows from constitntiou often forsakes the man when he has oc¬ casion for it; courage which arises from a sense of duly acts in a uniform man¬ ner. The time of year lias come when every ice cream sign is a chilling terror to tho young man with a girl on each arm and only a punched dime in his persona) treasury. “How no you preserve your peaches so nicely ?” asked a lady visitor. “By putting them on the them,” top shelf said where Mrs. Tommy can’t, reach Bushman “Don’t you remember me?” asked tho soda-water clerk of a lady customer. “No, I cannot say that I do,” she re¬ plied, “and yet there is something G niiliar about your fizz,” “Why, it was called the stirrup cup. Ivanhoe, because it had a tendency to stir up tho whole crowd to singing Yen .md fighting and having one more. bet it was rightly called the stirrup cuj The King of Portugal is to »tt>r< newspaper. If he does it will he a bo«i man who will ask him to give half a page of display advertising and four columns of reading notices for four circus tickets. Du. Gklle, of Paris, has found that twenty to twenty-five per cent, of chil¬ dren hear only within a limited range. Parents who have had occasion to call the little ones into the house when at play have long been aware of this curious fact, —Boston IVanscript. A Friend of Conover’s. Senator Conover, of Florida, tells this story on himself. While making a can¬ vass of his State for Governor a meet¬ ing was at beautiful Lake Jackson. It was very Lot but we had a big crowd of negroes and lots of fun. The speech of the day was made by a negro Hercules. He said; don’t know nuffiii “Feller gemmens: I bout no grammar and no ’rithmotio, but I kin cut up de plantation lingo so you alls kin unnerstau’ it. I tells you nig¬ gers dat in dis yer champaiu I is for Dock Conovah fer Gub’nor. Dock is our Men’; ef we wants two bite any time, he lea’ it to us. Dem big poli ticianers in the city har’ly wanter to talk to us country niggers, but Dock Cou ovah is wid us all time, an’ when we mens comes ter town, he calls us iutor his offis an’ we gets a good drink. I tells you men I is fer Conovah all de t.imo. Dock Conovah’s skin ain’t, hraek like onr’n, but his heart am brack, an’ all us niggers is gwinter wote for him.’ Fred Grant’s Heroic Wipe.— Col. Fred Grant sold his family team, carriages and harness a few days ago for $1,200, and dismissed his coachman and all liis house help. His wife, when informed of the failure of her husband and the necessity for economy in her do j lived mestio relations, rations remarked: aud “I I have do , on army once, can ; it again.”