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WEORGEZ SCENES.
J u *h e Augustus Ealdlvin Longstreet.
» *
?>T. ; bL the of the republic
Ke lived in the county of
Ktrhien, who were admitted on all
Bands to be the very best men in the
which, in the Georgia vocabu
lary, means they could flog any other
two men in the county. Each, through
many a hard-fought battle, had acquir
ed the mastery of his own battalion;
but they lived on opposite sides of
the courthouse, and in different battal
ions; consequently, they were but sel
dom thrown together. When they met,
however, they were always very friend
ly; indeed, at their first interview,
they seemed to conceive a wonderful
attachment to each other, which rather
increased than diminished as they be
came better acquainted; so that, but
for the circumstance which I am about
to mention, the question, which had
been a thousand times asked, “Which
Is* the man, Billy Stallions (Stal-
Durham?” would prob
ably never have been answered.
Billy ruled the upper battalion, and
Bob the lower. The former measured
six feet and an inch in his stockings,
and, without a single pound of cum-
B about him, weighed a hun
ighty. The latter was an
r than his rival, and ten
ter; but he was much the
of the two. In running and
had but few equals in the
d in wrestling, not one.
aspects they were nearly
th were admirable speci
uman nature in its finest
r’s victories had generally
-oeap acmeved by the tremendous pow
his blows, one of which had of
xWßMßproved decisive of his battles;
by his adroitness in bringing
hffiadversary to the ground. This
a4Bnntage he had never failed to gain
at the onset, and, when gained, he
never failed to improve it to the defeat
of his adversary. These points of
difference have involved the reader in
a doubt as to the probable issue of a
contest between them. It was not so,
however, with the two battalions
Neither had the least difficulty in de
termining the point by the most natur
al and irresistable deductions a priori;
and though, by the same course of
reasoning, they arrived at directly op
posite conclusions, neither felt its con
fidence in the least shaken by this
circumstance. The upper battalion
swore “that Billy only wanted one lick
at him to knock his heart, liver, and
lights out of him; and if he got two
at his, he’d knock him into a
cocked hat.” The lower battalion re
torted, “that he wouldn’t have time to
double his fist before Bob would put
his head where his feet ought to be;
and that, by the time he hit the
ground, the meat would fly off his
face so quick, that people would
think it was shook off by the fall.”
These disputes often led to the argu
mentim ad hominem, but with such
equality of success on both sides as
to leave the main question just where
they found it. They usually ended,
however, in the common way, with
a bet; and many a quart of old Jamai
ca (whiskey had not then supplanted
rum) was staked upon the issue.
Still, greatly to the annoyance of the
curious, Billy and Bob continued to
be good friends.
Now there happened to reside In the
county just alluded to a little fellow
by the name of Ransy Sniffle, a sprout
of Richmond, who, in his earlier days,
had fed copiously upon'red clay and
blackberries. This diet had given io
Ransy a complexion that a corpse
would have disdained to own, and an
abdominal rotundy that was quite
unprepossessing. Long spells of the
fever and ague, too in Ransy’s youth,
had conspired with clay and blackber
ries to throw him quite out of the or
der of nature. His shoulders were
fleshless and elevated; his head large
and flat; his neck slim and translu
cent; and his arms, hands, fingers,
and feet were lengthened out of all
proportion to the rest of his frame.
His joints were large and his limbs
small; and as for flesh, he could not,
with propriety, be said to have any.
Those parts which nature usually sup
plies with the most of this article —the
calves of the legs, for example—pre
sented in him the appearance of so
many well-drawn blisters. His height
was just five feet nothing; and his av
erage weight in blackberry season,
ninety-five. I have been thus partic
ular in describing him, for the purpose
of showing what a great matter a lit
tle fire sometimes kindleth. There was
nothing on this earth which delighted
Ransy so much as a fight. He never
seemed fairly alive except when he
was witnessing, fomenting, or talk
ing about a fight. Then, indeed, his
deep-sunken gray eyes assumed some
thing of a living fire, and his tongue
acquired a volubility that bordered
upon eloquence. Ransy had been kept
for more than a year in the most tor
turing suspense as to the comparative
manhood of Billy Stallings and Bob
Durham. He had resorted to all his
usual expedients to bring them into
collision, and had entirely failed. He
had faithfully reported to Bob all that
had been said by the people in the up
per battalion “agin him,” and “he was
sure Billy Stallings started it. He
heard Billy say himself to Jim Brown,
that he could whip him, or any other
man man in his battalion;” and this
he told to Bob; adding, “Dod
darn his soul, if he was a lit
tle bigger, if he’d let any man
put upon his battalion in such away.”
Bob replied, “If he (Stallings) thought
so, he’d better come and try it.” This
Ransy carried to Billy, and delivered
it with a spirit becoming his own dig
nity and the character of his own bat
talion. and with a colouring well cal
culated to give it effect. These, and
many other schemes which Ransy
laid for the gratification of his curi
osity, entirely failed of their object.
Billy and Bob continued friends, and
Ransy had began to lapse into the
most tantalizing and hopeless despair,
when a circumstance occurred which
led to a settlement of the long-dis
puted question.
It is said that a hundred gamecocks
will live in perfect harmony together
if you do not put a hen with them;
and so it would have been with Bil
ly and Bob, had there been no wo
man in the world. But there were
women in the world, and from them
each of our heroes had taken to him
self a wife. The good ladies were no
strangers to the prowess of their hus
bands, and, strange as it may seem,
tney presumed a little upon it.
The two battalions had met at the
courthouse upon a regimental parade.
The two companions were there, and
their wives had accompanied them.
Neither knew the other’s lady, nor
w’ere the ladies known to each other.
The exercises of the day were just
over, when Mrs. Stallings and Mrs.
Durham stepped simultaneously into
the store of Zephaniah Atwater, from
“down east.”
“Have you any Turkey-red?” said
Mrs. S.
“Have you any curtain calico?” said
Mrs. D. at the same moment.
“Yes, ladles/’ said Mr. Atwater, “I
have both.”
JEFFERSOTIAN.
“Then h&> me first,” said
“for I’m in a hurry.”
“I’m in as gqMft a hurry as she is,”
said Mrs. S., “QiAl’ll thank you to
help me first.”
“And, pray, vMMKe you, madam?”
continued the
“Your was the re
ply.
At this moment Billy Stallings step
ped in. “Come,” said he, “Nancy, let’s
be going; its getting late.”
“I’d a been gone half an hour ago,”
she replied, “if it hadn’t a’ been for
that impudent huzzy.”
“Who do you call an impudent huz
zy, you nasty, good-for-nothing, snag
gle-toothed gaub of fat, you?” return
ed Mrs. D.
“Look here, woman,” said Billy,
“have you got a husband here? If you
have, I’ll lick him till he learns to
teach you better manners, you sassy
heifer you.”
At this moment something was seen
to rush out of the store as if ten thou
sand hornets were stinging it; crying
“Take care—let me go—don’t hold me
—where’s Bob Durham?” It was Ran
sy Sniffle, who had been listening in
breathless delight to all that had pass
ed.
“Yonder’s Bob, setting on the court
house steps,” cried one. “What’s the
matter?”
“Don’t talk to me!” said Ransy. “Bob
Durham, you’d better go look yonder,
and take care of your wife. They’re
playing h —l with her there, in Zeph
Atwater’s store. Dod eternally darn my
soul, if any man was to talk to my
wife as Bill Stallions is talking to
yours, if I wouldn’t drive blue blazes
through him in less than no time.”
Bob sprang to the store in a minute,
followed by a hundred friends; for
the bully of a county never wants
friends.
“Bill Stallions,” said Bob, as he en
tered, “what have you been saying to
my wife?”
“Is that your wife?” inquired Billy,
obviously much surprised and a little
disconcerted.
“Yes, she is, and no man shall abuse
her, I don’t care who he is.”
“Well,” rejoined Billy, “It an’t worth
while to go over it; I’ve said enough
for a fight; and if you’ll step out, we'il
settle it!”
“Billy,” said Bob, “are you for a fair
fight?”
“I am,” said Billy. '‘l’ve heard much
of your manhood, and I believe I’m a
better man than you are. If you will
go into a ring with me, we can soon
settle the dispute.”
“Choose your friends,” said Bob;
“make your ring, and I’ll be in with
mine as soon as you will.”
They both stepped out, and began to
strip very deliberately, each battal
ion gathering round its champion, ex
cept Ransy, who kept himself busy in
a most honest endeavor to hear and
see all that transpired in both groups
at the same time. He ran from one to
the other in quick succession; peeped
here and listened there; talked to
this one, then to that one, and then to
himself; squatted under one’s legs and
another’s arms, and, in the short in
terval between stripping and stepping
into the ring, managed to get himself
trod on by half of both battalions.
But Ransy was not the only one inter
ested upon this occasion; the most in
tense interest prevailed everywhere.
Many were the conjectures, doubts,
oaths, and imprecations uttered while
the parties were preparing for the com
bat. All the knowing ones were con
sulted as to the issue, and they all
agreed, to a man, in one of two opin
ions; either that Bob would flog Billy
or Billy would flog Bob. We must be
permitted, however, to dwell for a mo
ment upon the opinion of Squire Thom
as Loggins; a man who, it is said, had
never failed to predict the issue of a
fight in so unerr
ing in ttWs re
gard, that itwould have been counted
the most obstinate infidelity to doubt
for a moment after he had delivered
himself. Squire Loggins was a man
who said but little, but that little was
always delivered with the most impos
ing solemnity of look and cadence.
He always wore the aspect of profound
thought, and you could not look at
him without coming to the conclusion
that he was elaborating truth from Its
most intricate combinations.
“Uncle Tommy,” said Sam Reynolds,
“you can tell us all about it if you
will; how will the fight go?”
The question immediately drew an
anxious group around the squire. He
raised his teeth slowly from the head
of his walking cane, on which they
had been resting; pressed his lips
closely and thoughtfully together;
threw down his eyebrows, dropped his
chin, raised his eyes to an angle of
twenty-three degrees, paused about
half a minute, and replied, “Sammy,
watch Robert Durham close in the be
ginning of the fight; take care of Wil
liam Stallions in the middle of it; and
see who has the wind at the end.” As
he uttered the last member of the sent
ence, he looked slyly at Bob’s friends,
and winked very significantly; where
upon they rushed, with one accord, to
tell Bob what Uncle Tom had said.
As they retired, the squire turned to
Billy’s friends, and said, with a smile,
“Them boys think I mean that Bob will
whip.”
Here the other party kindled into
joy, and hastened to inform Billy how
Bob’s friends had deceived themselves
as to Uncle Tommy’s opinion. In the
meantime the principals and seconds
were busily employed in preparing
themselves for the combat. The plan
of attack and defence, the manner of
improving the various turns of the con
flict, “the best mode of saving wind,”
etc., were all discussed and settled. At
length Billy announced himself ready,
and his crowd were seen moving to
the centre of the courthouse square;
he and his five seconds in the rear.
At the same time, Bob’s party moved
to the same point, and in the same or
der. The ring was now formed, and
for a moment the silence of death
reigned through both battalions. It
was soon interrupted, however, by the
cry of “Clear the way!” from Billy’s
seconds; when the ring opened in the
centre of the upper battalion (for the
order of march had arranged the cen
ter of the two battalions on opposite
sides of the circle), and Billy stepped
into the ring from the east, followed
by his friends. He was stripped to
the trousers, and exhibited an arm,
breast, and shoulders of the most tre
mendous portent. His step was firm,
daring, and martial; and as he bore his
fine form a little in advance of his
friends, an involuntary burst of tri
umph broke from his side of the ring;
and, at the same moment, an uncon
trollable thrill of awe ran along the
whole curve of the lower battalion.
“Look at him!” was heard from
his friends; “just look at him.”
“Ben, how much you ask to stand
before that man two seconds?”
“Pshaw, don’t talk about it! just
thinkin’ about it’s broke three o’ my
ribs a’ ready!”
“What’s Bob Durham going to do
when Billy let’s that arm loose upon
him?”
“God bless your soul, he’ll think
thunder and lightning a mint julip to
it.”
“Oh, look here, men, go take Bill
Stallions out o’ that ring, and bring in
Phil Johnson’s stud horse, so that Dur
ham may have some chance! I don’t
want to see the man killed right
away.”
These and many other like express
ions, interspersed thickly with oaths