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Ralsuli is still raising belli in Mo
rocco.
Roosevelt is once mere “monarch of
all he surveys/* including the canal.
Knox for president! But, O Lord,
can any good thing come out of Pitts
burg?
If Harry Thaw isn’t insane be
fore his trial is concluded, it will
be a wonder.
If you see anything going on that
puzzles you—why, charge it to the
sun spots.
Roosevelt confesses that he likes
his job, and he is more than likely to
try to keep IL
There is a man in Buffalo named
Peter Tumuch. But he will Peter out
after a while.
The Democratic party has only fif
teen months left in which to find out
where it is at!
Countess du Pin has secured a di
vorce, and that reveals how some of
the pins go astray.
The Darien Gazette would appreci
ate our legislators more if they would
meet only biennially.
Mr. Hearst is reported to have “a
cold.’’ Is this another case where it is
located in his feet?
Twenty-five states have inheritance
taxes. Georgia would look well as No.
26 on that roll of justice.
Let us trust that none of the wail
ing railroad corporations will get mad
enough to commit suicide.
The organized farmers of America
are destined to be the real and victori
ous trust busters of the nation.
Senator Foraker and Secretary Taft
can never get together. Taft’s bay
window makes it impossible.
Mr. Cortelyou, and not subsidized
congressmen, is now running the
postofflce department, it seems.
Captain Hobson will continue his
Japanese war campaign along the
Chautauqua route this summer.
The feeling is growing that it is too
long in Georgia between the election
of a governor and his inauguration.
Spooner is honest enough to want
to make more money outside of the
senate. That is some to his credit.
Ex-Secretary Shaw is now the head
of a trust company in New York. That
lowa ox is safe in his master’s stall.
Missouri will spend $25,000,000 on
her public roads. That is the best
way in the world to get immigrants.
Jerome can badger a woman all
right, but he suffers a buck-ague vjhen
urged to go against a trust magnate.
Rockefeller is making motions like
giving away a few more millions of
our money. Oil prices are up some
more.
Paragraphs About Men and Measures
By SA.M W . SMALL
The Charleston News and Courier
asks, “What is a speakeasy?’’ It’s a
wink of the eye and a walk up a dark
alley.
King Alphonso has had a chill. It
may have been caused by the promise
of the queen to present him with
twins.
The new canal commission will
probably know how to spend the
money just as easy as its predeces
sors.
Booker Washington seems to be the
senator from Afro-America, or nigger
referee near Roosevelt for all the
states.
“The March of the Pitchfork’’ has
been dedicated to Senator Tillman. It
should have been a gallop instead of
a march.
Morgan is perfectly willing that
Harriman should monopolize the pub
licity spot lighL Old Pierp enjoys th®
shadows.
Secretary Taft is no longer looking
toward the White House. He is keep
ing his eyes focused on Chief Justice
Fuller’s shoes.
A Macon man hit a negro on the
head with an ax, and then had to buy
a new ax. The negro still has his
same head.
Editor Dick Grubb says: “Tom
Watson writes like a man in dead earn
est,” but what he meant to say was “in
live earnest.”
Senator Beveridge, as the apostle of
absolutism, is surely sawing the limb
he is on between himself and the pres
idential tree.
A newspaper asks “how long is a
perch?” It depends on the fisher
man’s general reputation for truth
and veracity.
A man is dead in Canada who boast
ed that he never owned an umbrella.
His neighbors were either good lend
ers or good losers.
The Houston Post says “bowie
knives are no longer needed in
Texas,” but it said it after Bailey had
gone to Washington.
A league has been formed in Chica
go to discourage suicide. Yet that is
the only cheap way some people can
get out of that town.
A Democratic paper has declared
for Roosevelt for a third term. But,
then, Roosevelt will insist that it is
only a second term.
The Newnan News says: “Georgia
is becoming a poor field for political
grafters.” Still we re-elected some
congressmen last fall.
Instead of asking, “Can Hoke
Smith make good?” do you be sure
that your legislator makes good to
your satisfaction.
Uncle Joe Cannon has gone down to
view the Panama canal. If the canal
knows what is good for it, it will keep
both its mouths shut while the czar
is on the zone.
THE WEEKLY JEFFERSONIAN.
That Texas negro who is making
$1,500 a year on a fifty acre farm has
evidently no fear of being lynched.
The report that a comet is soon to
touch the earth, reminds us that it
will get nothing by the “touch” unless
it strikes the trusts.
The Porto Ricans want a native for
secretary of state, so they can “show
their ability in self-government”—or
otherwise, more likely.
The army of Morocco was scared
into a panic by the bawling of a calf.
But many a calf can make a noise
like an army in motion.
The new state of Oklahoma made a
two cent passenger rate a part of her
constitution. That is cinching a popu
lar demand some certain.
Congress talked nine million words
at its recent session at a cost to the
American people of SIOO per word in
appropriations.
There is only one more pension
step to take, and that is to put on the
rolls every person in the north who
was alive during the civil war.
Vice-President Fairbanks has waked
up to the fact that his presidential
boom has been quarantined off the
White House grounds.
“Adolescent insanity” was Thaw’s
trouble, according to the alienists.
That’s an infant industry, we presume,
that demands protection.
The Germans are said to be fond of
American lobsters. If they are of the
human sort, those Germans are wel
come to them, for our part.
Grover Cleveland has been trying
to explain his solemnity. However,
who cares how solemn he is so long
as he keeps out of politics?
When a Georgia criminal cannot
break out of the chain gang he can
pretty safely call on the prison com
mission to come to his relief.
The Connecticut supreme court de
cides that barbers need not shave ne
groes, but it is still all right for wood
en nutmeg peddlers to “skin ’em.”
We have annually five times as
many murders in Georgia as in all
Great Britain —yet we have the gall
to talk about “the bloody Britishers.”
———
Senator Foraker’s nomination to
succeed Roosevelt would assure a
Democratic victory too big to be
counted without the aid of adding ma
chines.
We are Inclined to the notion that
a third term for Teddy looks better
from this end than it will from the
other end —after the 1908 election.
A railroad train In Texas was ar- .
rested for being “behind schedule
time.” That custom in Georgia would
put nearly all our trains In a chain
gang.
Senator Knox is now touted as the
administration’s favorite for president
to succeed Roosevelt. But when did
Pennsylvania become a “doubtful”
•tote?
By putting the canal in the hands
of army officers the president has
guaranteed the job against “quitters.”
It Is up to the people now to elect
new congressmen worth $2,500 a year
more than the old ones.
Old Swettenham, of Jamaica, has re
signed, but we would almost bet that
he is not resigned. He makes a noise
like a man who is hot in the collar.
The Japs are to be treated in Califor
nia like citizens of other countries,
but not necessarily educated in Amer
ican schools paid for by American
citizens.
Well, Governor Comer “made good”
on his railroad reform legislation in
Alabama. And still the railroads are
doing business in that state outside
the bankrupt courts.
Edgar Saltus thinks by the year
3000 A. D. everything will be rightly
adjusted on this planet. We can’t
wait for it; we’ll be “all in” long be
fore that date.
Mr. Hearst says his Independence
League will be independent. We hope
that does not mean free to deal with
either of the old parties on the most
favorable terms.
Texas is now enjoying a high state
of civilization. Men call each other
liars in the legislative halls and none of
their families have to go into mourn
ing after the incident.
The dividends of the corporations In
March equal 98 cents per capita for
every person in the United States.
We, the people, got the per capita, and
the big fish got the money, as usual.
The Democracy of the east is look
ing toward Judge Gray or Woodrow
Wilson as fit men to set up against
Bryan. But the real Democracy will
not be Parkerized twice handrunning.
The Democratic governor of Rhode
Island has ordered Republican boss.
Brayton excluded from the state Capi
tol. Brayton was duly surprised to
find his title to the state disputed so>
rudely.
Mrs. William Thaw, in the crisis’,,
showed a Spartan mother’s devotion
to her son. At the same time she
should have sent Harry to Sunday
school when he was a kid, and be
fore he became a goat.
Secretary Cortelyou takes his noon
lunch at a plebeian coffee and pie joint,
along with ordinary public servants.,
A picture of that democratic act will
look bully on a campaign banner next
year, perhaps!
Governor Vardaman, it is said, cam
quote poetry until John Sharp Wil
liams grows black in the face. Andi
it wouldn’t hurt the United States,
senate to have a poetic member In the
Interest of general harmony.
Straw ballots taken in various parts:
of the country all result In majori
ties for Roosevelt to succeed himself:.
Since the country has been seized by
the trusts the people seem no longer
“skeer’d” by the third term proposi
tion. -