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Were I to preach a sermon In simple, homely terms Adapted to the culture And growth of knowledge terms, I’d say, with chastened spirit: “Just do the best you can, You may not be a poet, But you can be a man.’’ If I were bid to tell you How best to reach the top, I’d say, with no misgiving: “Go step by step—nor stop To grouch, or look behind you, Just do the best you know; You may not be a genius, But you can grow, and grow.’’ If it were mine to guide you Along the way to fame, Where all our great have traveled, I’d say with tongue of flame: “Go, purge thyself of meanness, Be clean of heart and mind; You may not be a Lincoln, But you can be his kind. , “So, whether high or lowly Thy station be in life, If called to be commander Or trooper in the strife, Just do the work on honor, In big or little things; You may not be an angel, But you may hear their wings.” ‘Not all of life is laughter, Not all of death is tears, So leave some good behind you For those in after years. Be master of thy spirit Bear patiently thy load; You may not get to heaven, But you are on the road.” —Denby Morrison, in Chicago Record- Herald. “SWEET SASSAFRAS .” (The Washington Heald.) Though relegated to the rear and laughed to scorn by modern physi cians, the meek and lowly sassafras has played a noble part in this coun try’s history. The pharmaceutical iconoclast cannot wither its fame, nor the mysteries of materia medica stale its Infinite variety! To the glories of the sassafras have poets sung, and to its victories long lines of grand mas of the good old kind lend abun dant and convincing testimony. In passing, the Journal calls attention to a beautiful poem anent the sassa fras, wherein a bard sublime doth say: “In the spring of the year, when the blood is thick, There is nothing so rare as a sassafras stick; It cleans up the liver and regulates the heart And to the whole system new life doth impart. Sassafras, oh sassafras, Thou art the stuff for me, And in the spring, I love to sing, Sweet sassafras, of thee.” Only a true poet, one who had re veled in the land where the sassafras reigns, could pen so sweet a senti ment. No geisha girl of the Plum Blossom land e’er brewed a drink so seductive, and withal so healthful and so cheering, as sassafras tea. Only those who gluttonously Imbibe this rare and healthful beverage know the real joys of springtime and the de lights of early June days. To the man soaked, and saccharated with sassafras tea, all things seem beauti- ful in spring. Even the twitter of the birds takes on an added melody, and the grass and bursting buds fair ly dazzle with their lustrous green. At least, it used to be so; although, alas! the sassafras has fallen now up on evil and unappreciative days. KILLING SONG BIRDS. (From Chester Reporter.) There is considerable complaint about the city as to certain small boys who arm themselves with air rifles and sling shots and destroy song birds and insect destroying birds in wholesale fashion. In one or two in stances the young miscreants have been known to Invade private prem ises and kill valuable mocking birds that were greatly valued by the own ers of the property. There is abso lutely no excuse for such conduct on the part of our boys; there is eaough lawful game, such as English spar rows, to engage their attention with out slaughtering these other birds, which the law has seen fit to protect, and which are the appreciated pets of the community. We think that par ents would do well to take up this matter and deprive the youngsters of their weapons unless they agree not to molest further the song birds that are so dear to the hearts of all our people. The mocking bird, though not of such widespread fame as certain other song birds Is a songster whose abilities are coming to be more widely known. His serenades have furnish ed subjects for poetic rhapsodies, and he is altogether too valuable a mem ber of society to fall victim to the murderous instincts of the small boy. WHY WATCH SIGNS AGREE. (From the Gainesville Sun.) Nearly all the watch signs, proba bly 90 out of 100, have hands set at 8:18, but comparatively few people know why this Is. It Is no accident. W. K. Washbum, of New York, was painting a sign for a jeweler of that city when the news of the assassina tion of Abraham Lincoln, April 14. 1865, was received in New York, and the latter ordered the painter to put upon the dial the exact time when the fatal shot was fired, namely 8:18, and so they have continued ever since. Whenever you see a sign after this, recall the fact that it points to the fatal moment JUVENILE CRIMINALS. (From the Nashville Banner.) The ladles In charge of the Nash ville Boys’ Club are undertaking a noble and necessary work in their ef fort to have the general assembly en act a juvenile criminal law that will prove effective. The law passed by the last legislature was defective In essential respects. It omitted the fea tures that were necessary to make the law operative, and in consequence it failed In Its purpose. There should be proper legislation for the protec tion and reformation of youthful crim inals. They should be protected from the hardening and degrading associa tion with older criminals In prison life and they should be placed under such surveillance, care and training as will turn them from their evil ten dencies and develop them into honest and self-respecting men. A well equipped and well-conducted Juvenile reformatory would be worth a great deal to the state, Immeasurably more than It would cost for maintenance. THE WEEKLY JEFFERSONIAN. BEAUTY. (The Houston Post.) There has been a beauty doctor Givin’ lectures in our town An’ ma hired a stenographer • Ter take his lingo down, An’ the things that she’s a buyin’ Fer to rub into her face, Comes in boxes, jugs, an’ bottles, An’ are all around th’ place. She takes her face o’ mornin’s An’ steams it o’er a pot, Then she rubs some dope stuff in it While it’s red an’ sizzlin hot, Then she lays some hot cloths on it Fer to drive it further in, Then she plasters it an’ rubs it Fer to beautify her skin. Then she’s got a rubber dingus, Thet she fastens ter th’ door, Thet she grabs an’ bends down back ’ards Till her head’s ’most on th’ floor, Then she doubles over forward Till she almost busts in half. Then she spanks us children awful ’Cause we can’t hold in our laugh. She has bought a jar of ointment, An’ th’ label on it said It would kill hair on her features, But would grow hair on her head; An’ th’ shelves are full o’ skin-food, And o’ ointments an’ o’ creams, And she dopes her face o’ daytimes An’ she masks it while she dreams. She has got some stuff in bottles That, when it is well rubbed in, Will make thinnish women stouter, An’ stoutish women thin; An’ gran’mother’s gittin skittish — An’ Gran’ma hasn’t got a tooth — An’ she’s bought a jar o’ ointment That is labeled, “Bloom o’ Youth”! An’ pop says th’ world’s gone crooked Since that feller come to town, An’ ma hired a stenographer Ter take his lingo down; Ma tells pa his talk was gratis That it didn’t cost a cent But th’ druggist ’round th’ corner Kin tell you what paw has spent. A TOAST. (The Milwaukee Sentinel.) Here’s to the man whose hand Is firm when he clasps your own— Like a grip of steel That makes you feel You’re not in the world alone. Here’s to the man whose laugh Puts the somber clouds to rout — The man who’s fair And kind and square To the one that’s down and out! •t AN ANTI-SUICIDE PLAN. (The Philadelphia Ledger.) Any body or association which un dertakes to curb the crime of suicide is to be thanked for its good intent; yet even if the movement do no harm by its very suggestion or by creat ing a new form of swindling, little headway is to be made in checking suicide by small palliatives adminis tered at hazard. The Salvation Army’s plans for turning the tide of people from the great cities, where they suf fer in slums, back toward the country and farm life has real merit, because it is an attempt at least to remedy the hard general conditions which bring the misery and with it the crime. THIS IS WORTH SAVING. The following simple home made mixture is said to relieve any form of rheumatism or backache, also cleanse and strengthen the kidneys and blad der, overcoming all urinary disorders, if taken before the stage of Bright’s disease: Fluid extract of dandelion, one-half ounce; compound kargon, one ounce; compound syrup sarsa parilla, three ounces. Mix by shak ing well in a bottle and take in tea spoonful doses after meals and at bed time. A well-known authority states that these ingredients are mainly of vegeta ble extraction, and harmless to use, and can be obtained at small cost from any good prescription pharmacy. Those who think they’ have kidney trouble or suffer with lame back or weak bladder or rheumatism, should give this prescription a trial, as no harm can possibly follow its use, and it is said to do wonders for some people. * HEALTH AND BEAUTY. To remedy round shoulders, stand in the usual “position,” raise the arms sideways, palms upward. Hold the head well back, chin in. With the arms thus stretched out on a level with the shoulders describe a circle with them about 12 inches in diameter at the finger tips. During this move ment contract the muscles at the back of the neck and about the shoulder blades, holding the chest high and breathing deeply. This exercise, if practiced longer and longer each day, will straighten the back, raise the chest and tend to decrease the waist measure. HOME DECORATION. When the new house is papered do not have the hall and stairway touched until after the furniture has been moved in. The most careful of mov ers find it difficult, particularly when there is a square staircase, to lift the awkward, heavy bureaus and beds upstairs without grazing the walls. If the walls are already papered hang sheets along the staircase walls, so that the paper will at least not become soiled. The hall carpet or rugs should not be laid until after the moving is finished, but the rest of the carpets should be put down before the family effects are put In. BORN IN PULLMAN CAR. Cincinnati. —A baby boy was born In a Pullman car attached to a Big Four railroad train coming to this city from Cleveland. The mother of the young American is Mrs. A. S. Swisher, of Toronto, Canada. Passengers raised a purse of $34 to buy him a suitable present 35-YEAR-OLD HENS STILL LAY. Pennsburg, Pa. —At the public sale of the property of William Stengel, at Bailey, Pa., a pair of chickens which Mr. Stengel says he hod owned for thirty-five years, and which had been laying all that time, were sold for sl2. M TAKES BRIDE AGED 11. Lexington, Ky.—Sam Martin, aged forty, has been sentenced to the peni tentiary for ten years for marrying an eleven-year-old girl, Martha Bush. The investigation revealed that the mother of the child had given her con sent and assisted Martin. The child declared she did not love Martin. 11