Newspaper Page Text
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Paragraphs About Men and Measures
By SAM W. SMALL
The Yeaster nonnet is still rising
in price.
•y . • " ««. A
“Babe” Bailey has acted up to his
name, for sure.
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Abe Hummel is lending his mal odor
to the Thaw trial.
The government will soon adjourn
to Sagamore Hill.
What we need is more steel cars
and fewer “steal” cars.
Speaker Cannon went down to fire
a salute to the canal.
There is a London “Rotton Row”
and a “Georgia Rotten Road.”
At last Fairbanks is warming up to
his presidential campaign.
Revelations of evils should be follow.-
ed by revolutions for righteousness.
Somebody must put Harriman wise
to the story of Captain Scott’s coon.
Hold onto your cotton until the other
fellow turns loose his money at your
figure.
Beveridge may yet be heard yellling
for some one to help him turn Bryan
aloose.
Thaw may not have been insane
when he shot White, bat he certainly
was mad.
Tom Lawson seems to have won a
big pile on the copper stocks that he
coppered.
It is time for the farmers of America
to put a few homespun statesmen into
the senate.
The new comet does not carry a long
tail. Perhaps its career will be a
short story.
Spooner will now 7 proceed to show
the railroads some of his tricks of the
artful dodger.
Harvie Jordan is making a noise like
the Tom Lawson of the cotton market.
Watch him!
A Democrat should be a man who
fights for the Public Good —“fodder
or no fodder.”
Tom Johnson seems too busy with
his own campaign to manage one for
somebody else.
Anyhow, Ex-Secretary Shaw can
prove that he has been recognized as
Trust-worthy.
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The Bryan-Beveridge magazine de
bate is another case of “too long be
tween drinks.”
Two cents a mile is plenty to pay
for the risks one takes in riding on
railroads these days.
In Tennessee Ex-Senator Carmack is
helping to kill the liquor interests that
aided in his dehorsing.
•The Sultan of Turkey needs a whack
of the Big Stick on account of those
delayed American claims.
Harriman is foxy, but he is due to
lose several joints of his royal rail
road tail, all right.
Pennsylvania will never forget her
bad luck in getting a $13,000,000 state
capitol faked upon her.
The farmers feed the nation. They
can also govern it, if they would only •
unite to do the work.
Foraker’s forlorn hope is in the
Black Brigade and it is still the bete
noir of Republican politics.
Mr. Bryan got a great ovation in
Boston, where tariff revision is getting
to be a very rampant riot.
The railroad magnates are probably
ready to testify that the president suf
fers from “brain storms.”
The school and church furniture
trust has been indicted. It ought
to hire DePew to defend it.
You cannot make a railroad commis
sion see rotten things about a road
when it refuses to look that way.
The throwing open of 28,000,000 acres
of coal lands to public entry makes
the coal trust hot in the collar.
Dowie is dead, but Dowieism in some
form will flourish as long as fools are
born among the children of men.
The plutocratic idea of a franchise
is that it is a “lettre de cachet” direct
ed against the people’s property.
Ex-Senator Burton leaves the Mis
souri penitentiary but that is al] of
his conviction that he is free from.
The railroads buy a man into the
United States senate and then buy
him out again, as in Spooner’s case.
Ex-Senator Blackburn of Kentucky,
as a canal commissioner may have to
be coached some on water questions.
Southerners will always honor Car
mack for having the word “Rebellion”
stricken from future official records.
Anybody who has seen Fairbanks
can believe that he “stands high” in
the ranks of presidential candidates.
What’s the matter with the gold
standard? Thought it was guaranteed
to stay put and never, never wobble!
There are other southern senators
than Bailey the sources of whose af
fluence might profitably be inquired
into.
The new senator from Montana is a
North Carolina tar-heel. That explains
his ability to get there and to stay
there.
“The Rise and Fall of Jerome” will
some day make as entertaining a sto
ry as that of the other and older
Rome.
Carnegie must aim to live a long
time yet if he expects to die poor.
He grows richer faster than he grows
poorer.
Pennsylvania will also pass a two
cent fare bill. She isn’t afraid the
railroads will withdraw from the state
because of it.
TH® WEEKLY JEFFERSONIAN.
You can safely bet that Spooner did
not quit the senate to go over the hill
to the poor house —nor to avoid going
there, either.
If the railroad magnates feel una
ble to run the roads any longer, per
haps the people can take hold and
show ’em how!
The direct election of United States
senators under state laws is the cure
for plutocracy and trust domination
in the senate.
When J. P. Morgan travels on a ship
he does not register on the passenger
list. He goes incog, so every one
will ask who he is.
There are 2,500,000 miles of country
roads in this country. They will keep
the “Good Roads” clubs busy a few
hundred years yet.
Roosevelt “obeyed the call of the
wild” and saved 17,000,000 acres of
forests in defiance of the timber ring
sters in congress.
The fight over Mrs. Eddy is for
her cash and not for her creed. The
money devil is as fatal to a religion
as to an individual.
Mrs. Sage has established a $10,000,-
000 foundation. What she expects will
be built on it other than a big salary
list, is not so apparent.
Uncle Joe Cannon is to be entertain
ed on the canal zone by an American
baseball team. The native “flies” will
also interest him some.
LaFollette will lecture some more
this summer and some more senatorial
togas may soon change hands as the
result —same as last year.
The president prefers to let the new
congress see the wheels go round for
nine months before they get a chance
at the government machinery.
The weight of a soul is said to be
one ounce. The average value of it
must then be twenty pennyweights.
Admiral Davis gained so much by
Swettenham’s rudeness that he ought
to send the latter a handsome souven
ir of the profitable event at Kingston.
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Richard Mansfield is to be neighbor
to King Edward this summer. Let us
hope the latter will get onto Dick’s
eccentricities and escape “a cussin’
out.”
A Jamestown postage stamp carries
a portrait of Pocahontas. If all the
posterity of John Smith buy one the
postal deficit will disappear for this
year.
The national banks ought to be sat
isfied with this administration. It is
letting them speculate on all of the
people’s money that the national treas
ury controls.
That “Southern Commission” to har
monize the race problem in the south
seems to have died in the hatching.
It was a silly undertaking, to say the
best of it.
The report that Rockefeller will
leave $250,000,000 to public education
and charities is probably like the re-
port of Mark Twain’s death —greatly
exaggerated.
There is one class of citizens yet
left off the pension rolls. It is the
hundreds of thousands who hired sub
stitutes from foreign countries to do
their fighting.
Burton, the ex-convict United States
senator, threatens to go on the lecture
platform. It is high time for lecture
committees to arm themselves against
such attacks.
Instead of refusing to pay her law
yer $175,000 for ridding her of Boni
Castellane, Anna Gould should think of
what she is saving and make the fee
a cool $200,000.
The president has time to reform the
government a whole lot before the new
congress gets a chance to give away
more of the people’s rights and proper
ty to the interests.
The railway magnates are raising
great lamentations because there are
legislatures in the land that they no
longer own and manipulate for the
robbery of the people.
J. Pierp. Morgan has gone to Eu
rope. He evidently thinks President
Roosevelt doesn’t need his advice
about how to conduct a govern
ment control campaign.
Senator Knox probably has too much
sense to be bamboozled with the no
tion that he could be elected president
of the nation. He will never be more
than he is—a trusty of the trusts.
The latest Panama canal commis
sioners are required to live on the
isthmus. Yet they say living is hard
and dying is awfully easy on that nar
row zone twixt time and eternity.
The complaint that the railroads
cannot borrow money on account of
adverse legislation is somewhat fun
ny. Perhaps the people who have the
money to lend want better security
than “water.”
The south can command the cotton
and iron markets of the world, keep
the balance of world trade in our fa
vor, and therefore ought to have some
rights in the government that other
sections should respect.
The Thaw trial has caused some
strange casep of coolness just the
same.
Southern men are to largely boss
the building of the canal, it seems.
Taft is to make another trip to Pan
ama. Has the canal got another case
of mouth disease?
It is said Fairbanks has a boom in
Florida. Still those Floridians may
hand him a lemen at the last moment.
That Kentucky man with a sixteen
acre mint farm looks on the Prohibi
tionists as his natural born enemies.
Atlanta seems to want a state fair
if some one will give it to her gratis.
It may yet be necessary for the ad
ministration to put forward for presi
dent some good New York man—like
Cortelyou, the friend of the bankers.