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e Hpw They Talk of U* Abroad. A ction of anecdotes of musical celebrities published at Leipzig con* tains this one under the head of An* ton Rubenstein: When the great pian¬ ist was making bis tour of the United States he sat one day in a railway train looking out upon the scenery. Suddenly a man sitting across the aisle spat over Rubenstein’s head out of the open window. The master drew back and gazed in astonishment and anger at the vulgar American, who smiled and said soothingly, “Don't worry; I know tny distance.” German Comfort. The Gorman of the middle and lower middle classes gets more for his money than the Englishman of the same standing. He gets a better education, his health is more scientifically watched, and he gets goose,more often for dinner. When he can keep alive no more his relatives and friends ex¬ press their lamentations by an adver¬ tisement in the local papers half a column long.—London Nation. Nearly a Tragedy. At a seaside resort a lady fell into tiie water from a landing stage while entering a boat Her husband ap¬ peared frantic and cried In the most beseeching tones: “For heaven’s sake, save her! She is my wife!" A young man gallantly plunged into the water and brought back the poor woman. The look of gratitude the husband gave fully repaid him for his ef¬ forts. On recovering his equanimity the husband thrust his hand into his wife’s wet pocket, pulled out a somewhat bulgy purse, and with Infinite relief said: “Old woman, the next time you tum¬ ble overboard just leave that purse be¬ hind, will you? You almost scared me to death?’’—London Scraps. Gobsa Golde and his family were do¬ ing Westminster abbey. Suddenly the old man gave a con¬ temptuous laugh. “The poets’ corner!” he sneered, snapping to his red guidebook. “What good ’s a corner in poets? Gimme wheat or cotton, hey, mother?" Study It Out. FTere is a highly interesting paradox, which may amuse or bewilder, as the case may be. It is supposed to have been invented by Socrates: A. says that all Athenians are liars. A. is an Athenian and therefore a liar. There¬ fore his statement that all Athenians are liars is not true, and consequently all Athenians tell the truth. A. is an Athenian, and hence tells the truth, wherefore his statement that ail Athe¬ nians are liars is true. Therefore he is a liar and his statement false, and so on. He Proved It. Bob burst into the house in a state of high excitement His hands and cloth¬ ing were smeared with a liberal ainouut of sticky substance, and his face wore a glow of triumphant satisfaction. “I say, mother, those new people across the road don’t know much!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got a notice on their front door that snys ‘Wet Paint’ ” “And you’ve been getting into it! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!” said his mother severely. “That notice was put up to warn people to keep away from it.” “Yes, 1 know,” persisted Bob, with the enthusiasm of a rightly rewarded investigator. “But it wasn’t paint, and I proved it. It’s only varnish!” “Pa, did you have to ask ma more than once to get her to promise to be your wife?” “Y’es. I think I asked her four or five times.” “Gee! I guess you didn’t give her much time to think between askings, did you?”—Chicago Record-Herald. “Bill Peake is the orator of the day. He has a splendid delivery.” “But has he anything to deliver?"— Life. Told Him How Many. Golfer (to long suffering and wearied caddie) —How many’s that, Sandy? Caddie—Yer playin’ yere ninth. Ye tappit it aff the tee in yun, missed It altaegether in twa, went intae the sand bank in three, ye did’na get oot In four, but ye got oot in five; ye gaed intae the whins in sax, ye did’na get oot in seven, but ye got oot in acht, and noo yere playin’ yere ninth. — Punch. Cranky Vessels. Even the best designers never know how their ships will turn out when completed. They may break all records for speed, or they may be so slow as to be entirely useless—a mere waste of money. Years ago two mud barges were built at San Francisco, exactly alike, constructed from one design. One of them was quite commonplace, but the other raced every barge in the bay and beat them all, raced every yacht on the Pacific coast and beat them. She was so fast that yachts were built on her lines, but turned out mere barges for sloth. Nobody could see how this craft differed from her crawling sisters or from the yachts. In 1851 the America went to Cowes, England, and raced for a prize cup. She won that trophy, and then an Eng¬ lishman bought her and improved her hull, stiffening it with knees through¬ out After that she lost every race. . J MlE PELHAM JO PENAL, FRIDAY, SEPT. 4, 1908. Clock and Watch Freaki. “A watch isn’t exactly dirty when It requires cleaning,” says a watchmaker. “It may need cleaning when it hasn’t even been worn. “A common cause of this is that the oil in the works has dried up and be¬ come sticky, causing the watch to go slow or even to stop. In this case it not only want3 cleaning, but also the addition of fresh oil. “The best oil for this purpose is ob¬ tained from the jawbone of a porpoise or kindred fish. Many watchmakers mix their own oil from various kinds. “Clocks also stop for no apparent reason. During a thunderstorm, for instance, a clock may stop, only resum¬ ing work when minutes, days or even weeks have passed. “Thunderstorms, again, have been re¬ sponsible for the restarting of old clocks which have apparently retired altogether from active service.”—Lon¬ don Answers. Brides and Wet Weather. A Breton bride rather likes to have a wet wedding. It is held to signify that all her tears are now shed and that she will therefore have u happy mar ried life. I know of no similar belief in the British isles. The Erza of Simbirsk call the day before the wedding the weeping day. and the bride and her girl friends weep all they can, with the Idea, it would seem, of getting the mourning of life over so that only Joy may remain. The Badagas of the Neiigherrles at¬ tain the same end by sousing the bride with water. Some Greek trilies have a similar belief in the virtue of n drenching bringing good fortune. The Omnipresent Rose. Every continent on the globe, with the exception of Australia, produces wild roses. There can be little doubt that the rose is one of the oldest flow era in the world, perhaps grown from the wind blown seeds In paradise. In Egypt It Is depicted on numbers of early bas-reliefs, dating from 3000 to 3500 B. C. Rosewater, or the essence of roses, is mentioned by Homer In the “Iliad,” and the flower Is spoken of In the Proverbs of Solomon. Truthful Cholly. “Cholly, have you ever loved be¬ fore?” “My dear girl, I will be honest with you. I have been engaged so many times that my ex-fiancees have per¬ fected an organization and adopted a yell.”—St. Paul Pioneer Press. Must Have Been a Prize. “But how could you tell, darling, that I had never proposed to any etl" ’ girl?” “Because you were not married,” she murmured rapturously and admir¬ ingly.—Judge. Mrs. Snooper—Men make me awfully tired. Mrs. Swayback—What’s the matter now? Mrs. Snooper—My husband saw Mrs. Keedick yesterday, and 1 asked him what she had on, and he replied, “Oh, clothes.”—Exchange. The Canny Scotsman. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotchman were looking through a confectioner’s window at a beautiful young woman who was serving in the shop. “Oh,” exclaimed Mr. Patrick, “do let us be spending a half crown with the dear crayture, that we may look at her convaniently and have a bit of a chat with her.” “You extravagant dog!” said Mr. George. “I’m sure one-half the money would do quite as well. But let us go In by all means. She Is a charming girl.” “Ah, wait a wee!” interposed Mr. Andrew. “Dlnna ye ken it’ll serve our purpose equally weel to ask the bon nie lassie to gle us twa sixpences for a shilling and Inquire where’s Mr. Thompson’s house and slclike? We’re no hungry and may as well save the siller.”—London Answers. A boy always quotes some boy a little older than himself as final au¬ thority in an argument with his moth¬ er.—Atchison Globe. A Different Cook. Two prosperous business men met on a Broadway local. “Howdy do, old man? Haven’t seen you in an age! How’s Mrs. Dayton?” “Fine and dandy, Brown! And how are you and the madam?” “Mrs. Brown and your humble serv¬ ant are both well; but, by Jove, our health would Improve if we saw the Joseph P. Daytons ringing our front door bell.” “Yes, yes. I admit we’ve been re¬ miss. Mrs. D. and I both speak of you so often and reproach ourselves for our neglect It’s been fully a year since we dined with you.” “You’re shy a few months, but we’ll let that pass. Suppose you come over to dinner one night next week.” “Really, I can’t just say. I think I heard Mrs. Dayton say something about next week being all taken up, and”— > “Well, old man, here is my station, Better come. We’ve got a new cook. She's a dandy. Good night.” “Why, yes, Brown, we’ll make the date over the phone?” shouted Dayton after the hurrying figure.— New York Times. How About Your Girls School Dresses? The school will open in about a month for the fall term. The girls will need new dresses. Some will require a complete ontfit and others, perhaps, just a few frocks to “make out with.” How about your girl? Why not get the school dresses now and have them made before school opens, and before our stock has been picked over? We are showing the ideal materials (just received) for fall dresses for every girl in Pelham and surrounding country. We also have the shoes for your girls and boys that will give entire satisfaction* G. W. McCormick & Co. Next Door To Farmers Bank* A Curious Ashanti Custom. When children are bora In Ashanti they are at once rubbed all over with a mixture of oil and red ocher, this being repeated every two days. Their mouths are washed with a fiery concoction in which red pepper is the main ingredi¬ ent, and a crier goes through the town proclaiming the new arrival and claim¬ ing for it a name and a place among the living. Some one else in a distant part of the villa,* acknowledges the fact and promises, on the part of the people, that the newborn babe shall be received into the community. The townspeople then assemble in the streets, and baby is brought out and expos' . A basin of wa¬ ter is r d the head man, or ' ' ' vn, sprinkles water upon It, us’v. t a name and invok~ lag a blessing 4 n it, such as, for in¬ stance, that ' r have health, grow up to manhotA . womanhood, have a numerous progeny and possess riches. Most of those present follow the ex¬ ample of the, head man, and the poor child is thoroughly drenched before the ceremony Is ended. Every one who participates In the ceremony pledges himself to be a friend to the child. Pol# Holes In Quicksand. Pole holes may be dug In quicksand by using a barrel with both heads re¬ moved. The barrel Is set where the hole is to be made and the excavation done from Inside the barrel, allowing It to sink as the hole is dug, says the Electric Traction Weekly. The sides of the hole are thus sheathed, and by means of a hand pump the water can be kept out. If the quicksand occurs for a depth greater than the height of one barrel a second barrel can be placed on top of the first. This second barrel should be a little larger than the first, so it will go down over the lower one part way. The pole must be raised In such a hole as soon as the hole Is dug. Reassured. Once Sir Henry Irving while playing Macbeth in London was somewhat dis¬ concerted by one of the “gallery gods.” He had reached the point where Mac¬ beth orders Banquo’s ghost to leave the banquet board. “Hence, horrible shadow, unreal mockery, hence!” ex¬ claimed Irving in his most tragic tones and with a convulsive shudder sank to the ground, drawing his robe about his face. Just as Banquo withdrew an agitated cockney voice from high up in the gallery piped out as if to reas¬ sure Irving, “It’s all right now, ’En ery; ’e’s gone!” Climb It. He had Just finished telling the ele¬ vator boy In one of the office buildings on Wisconsin street about the disad¬ vantage of working inside. He called the attention of the lad to his own physical condition and said: “My boy. I’ve lived out of doors most of my life. There is one thing that is next to physical culture for development, and that Is climate.” The boy smiled as the healthy one completed his discourse. “Remember, boy,” he added, “cli¬ mate!” He left the building, returning half an, j hour later to find the elevator out of order. The elevator boy greeted Iiim. “Well, mister, here’s where you get a j chance to demonstrate your policy.” “How?” was the question. “Climb It.” said the boy. and the healthy one did. — Milwaukee Free Press. SEE THE MARGUERITE HOTEL ===== For Yonr Furniture = "" As it is Going Cheap. All Classes of Furnituie, Etc. You will miss a bargain by not see¬ ing it before buying elsewhere ; 00000000000000000000000000000 - 000000000000000 Oooooo i BRACELETS AND RINGS The vogue in bracelets and rings finds its highest expression in the designs that fiill our cases. The popularity of this store on all jewel¬ ry is on account of the wide variety of pa terns carried in stock, from which selec¬ tion is easily made to suit the taste of each individual, at prices uuinformely low. W. W. BURNETT Jeweler and Optician. >000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 DOCTOR KING THE OLD RELIABLE IOC MS. OLDEST II ME 410 LONGEST LOCATE#. lEBOLU IUMUTES II MEOitUE. H OFFER TOO THE URGE MO TllUAIlE UPEtlEKE Of TIE LOMU! ESTABLISHED AND MOST ULtULE SPECIALISTS II TIE SOUTI Authorized W* by the sute refund to treat CHIOIIC, it IEIVO cured. 0 S Ml A)) M... ItSEASES. guarantee to money not medi¬ cines (urnished detention ready for nae—no mercury or injurious medicine* used. No from bneinet*. Patient* everywhere at a outage* treated by mail and express. Msdlslnes sent tree from gaze or breakage. No medicine sent C. O. D. unices In¬ structed. Charges low. Thousands of esses cured. State yeur __ease and send for terms. Consultation FHEE and eosfidentlal, in dk . ii.vu ’ZTftlx-/v ~. and person, Wsaknsssts or by letter. Call or write today. Don’t delay. of Nervous Msni the Debility reauit* or youihful folly and excee stricture KJSufmr fnetrumeate. 1 ”* ""*** A tt new * Home mb —c*using losatd by dream* or with Treatment. Ho pein and ne czpoenre. Xe cnneUe, urine, pimples and btotchoa on the face, rushes of catting, Thousands bougie. or cared. eeunde. We Xe detention from tail blood to the head, pains in tha back, confused ideas neat. guarantee te refund and forgetfulness, bashfulness, aversion to society, money plains this If not disease. permanently eured. My beek fully ex less of vital forces, loss of manhood, etc., cured for Variesesls life. We can stop night losses, restore lost vitality, develop and mature young dr middle aged marriage who are ef the nervous system, etc., permanently eared with weakly and wrecks and make them fit for out pain. CmmImIIIw — * — that tiin* terrtabie *•* * »»ui* mewwewi disease, in **• all He forms H d „ I . “" d Ojpniflwe Skin and Diseases, stages, Ulcers, cured Swellings. for life. Sores. Blood _ y r • e • • Poisoning, Gleet and all forms of private diMases, Pblmosls—— Gonorrhoea. Cured. We refund 1 without palm cured te stay guarantee cured, to your book sffgjwsa money if not permanently “ Bladder and . . Proststlc w, jrH Kidney eueceeafully treated and permanent- thaegect, Frss museum and tore, *' aaat aualed wind to my la In for plain plain Mm wra wrapper, Only. IIISeaSBS _ Ten ly cured PILES end nUPTUM eur- ere > lav Invited t. see It when __ srTiiirs^Mi DR. KING MEDICAL r CO., ATLANTA. CA. (Thoroughly reepeaalbie. Legally Incorporated under the lows of Georgia.)