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4 Paragraphs About Men and Measures By SAM W. SMALL T. R. now stands for “Taft Rooter.” The Democratic party has three legs—like a milk stool. The Folk boom ball must havd rolled into the “23” hole. That good old summer time will receive a unanimous welcome. A woman of fashion is not always the best fashion of a woman. The Queen of Spain seems to have had trouble with her almanac. Spring showed her gentle face a few days and then fanned out some. John Sharp Williams is going to be another man who can’t carry his own state. Kaiser Bill doesn’t propose to let any war catch him without his gun on him. Walter Wellman is still hunting the North Pole in that hot old town of Paris. How can the president bring his heart to the decision to lose his right Loeb? The president says “My spear knows no brother.” Neither did Joab’s blade. So it is J. Pierpont Morgan who is “going to retire” and not President Roosevelt. Chicago voted in the Republicans and is now beginning to kick herself for doing so. Morgan will probably only retire to the dark lantern room. Publicity makes him blink. The notion that Judson Harmon is a real Democrat seems to need a whole lot of promotion. Why don't Carnegie buy up all the warships of the nations and have peace, anyhow? McClellan is still acting mayor of New York. What is Mr. Hearst going to do about it? The first of May is “trouble day” in France. Likewise it is “moving day” in this country. Binger Hermann secured acquittal, but the government will still en deavor to recover the goods. This Jamestown year is the one for the John Smiths, but 1908 will be the new year for the jawsmiths. Pittsburg suffers from too much smoke, but she seems headed toward where the fires are smokeless. Uncle Joe Cannon is going to stay at home this summer to see that his boom doesn’t get sun-struck. President Diaz of Mexico has spread his hand to aim at the seat of the Guatamalan government. Seeing that the Panama canal has two big open mouths, Joe Blackburn is keeping his'n shut. WATSON'S WEEKLY JEFFERSONIAN. The world is not all to the bad. Some of us make a stagger at being good one time out of seven. Brer Leslie Shaw’s big Trust com pany salary seems to have soothed his presidential boom to sleep. Charlie Culberson denies that he has a presidential boom. But pri vately, now, why the denial? At the last report, Candidate Fair banks was mighty busy sawing wood and signing campaign checks. Foraker promises to make Ohio feel like the Panama climate for Bill Taft this summer —and then some more. That Bailey legislature in Texas is following its leader and scotching for the corporations with all its might. Senator Perkins squares himself by announcing that he is for Roosevelt again—first, last and all the time! It may seem strange, but the more Northerners Texas gets as settlers the more Democratic the state becomes. But is Mr. Loeb willing to “take the blame” for all that John R. McLean’s street car company does in Washing ton? Harriman doesn’t care who makes the noise for the government so long as he makes the rates for the rail roads. Nothing but a wide-spread “favorite son” campaign can keep Teddy from putting his man in the 1908 conven tion. Sandy Carnegie’s Scotch dander is aroused over the hootin’ of his peace • efforts. Still peace is worth fighting for. That railroad gang in Florida will find that Governor Broward hasn’t for gotten the filibuster game—not a lit tle bit. The trusts will stay with the Re publican party. They can fix it so that the president will not make the laws. ~ ■ ■■■ 1 ■ * A New Hampshire woman insists upon wearing boots. Down here many women are content with the trousers. Colonel Colt was the dark horse of the Rhode Island senatorial fight, but now he doesn’t rank even as a selling plater. The peaches in Georgia were not all killed by the freeze. In fact, none of the feminine “peaches” were hurt at all. Those Guatamalans seem to be hunting for trouble. They may yet cause Uncle Sam to reach for a shingle. The third term idea looks as big as it did at this season in 1880; and still it then got its face punched in, all right. With Vardaman in the United States Senate Mississippi could once more hold up her head with just pride and satisfaction. The season for “sweet girl grad uates” approaches. Now is the time for good boys to save their ducats for their duckies. Tillman complains that his lecture audiences are growing smaller. That suggests that his lecture has grown whiskers. The administration is after the Southern Republican delegations. It has the offices and the cash. Ergo, it gets ’em! Teddy will need something stronger than a tenuis net to draw in a ma jority of the delegates to his 1908 convention. Roosevelt might bring Gen. Leonard Wood home and run him for presi dent. The people always take after “a military hero.” Watterson says the more he sees of foreign people the better he likes his home folk. He ought to stay at home, then. Senator Bob Taylor is lecturing on “Temptation.” But he will know the subject better after serving a while in the Senate. After May 1 we will learn what “in jucements” caused Spooner to quit the Senate. We’ll wager they are juicy enough! Hoke Smith is in Europe, but he will be home in plenty time to open the grafter-hunting season the latter part of June. Hearst says he is not a candidate for any office. But he is not the only man who might be willing for the office to find him. Colonel Gorgas says the Canal Zone is as healthy as it is possible to make it. But it still seems fatal to chief engineers. Taft is making Y. M. C. A. ad dresses in Ohio, but not in answer to the ‘‘You May Come Across” Invita tion of Joey Foraker. The president says Moyer and Hay wood are “undesirable citizens.” All citizens are that who do not agree with His Excellency. The Farmers’ Union has not been swallowed by the Southern Cotton As sociation. A python seldom crawls up around an elephant. The Inter-State Commerce Commis sion was enlarged that it might move faster. But the enlargement appears to have anchored it. Taft will announce his desire to be president some time this week. It will then be up to Harriman to say whether he may be, or not! Mr. Hearst doubts whether he is a Democrat, but strongly asserts that he is a Jeffersonian. And, really, there is such a difference! Congressman Lindsay claims the honor of first having suggested that Bryan put Roosevelt in nomination for a third term. If we were Colonel Graves we would send the laurel right on to Lindsay by the first mail. Watterson says it will bo “Taft against the field” in the Republican race. But with Roosevelt in the sad dle, who can beat him? A man in Missouri was prosecuted by his mother-in-law for kissing her, She admitted, however, that it was dark where the mistake happened. Evangelist Martin should try to save souls, and not stop to stave in the slats of another minister who is try ing to get to heaven in an omnibus. Colonel Graves certainly set all the politicians talking by his cross-wire Bryan-Roosevelt suggestions. And what they said about him was ample. Henry Watterson thinks the Demo crats can win if 1908 is a great calam ity year. Yet last year he introduced Bryan at Louisville as a sure winner! An Ohio preacher resigns because he can get better pay as a book-agent. Doubtless he is better fitted to ped dle books than to peddle the gospel. Mr. Bryan, as Watterson says, may talk like a man who doesn’t want to be president. Perhaps he is talking too much like a man who ought to be president. Watterson says Bryan has driven Democracy out of every state in the North. Wattersonism would also drive it out of every state in the South, as it did twice in Kentucky. The Republicans want to keep Okla homa out of the next electoral col lege. Are they afraid already that her votes might throw the presiden tial election against them? That man who killed himself, be cause he disgraced himself, should have .killed himself before he dis graced himself. His memory would have savored better. Secretary Cortelyou does not talk much. He w r as not put over the na tional treasury to talk, but to shovel out the coin to the Wall street gam blers. The money does the talking. The holders of special privileges cannot afford to lose their places in the Republican party. No other party can get the support of that crowd — nor should seek it. The new minister from Sweden was once a Salvation Army man, but let us hope he will not take his tambou rine to the White House. Teddy might thump it with the big stick. The railroad corporations still have a strangle hold on the Tennessee leg islature. Governor Patterson seems to have been a very large lemon for the common people. The Northern farmer still thinks the protective tariff makes a home mar ket for his produce. It also makes the prices for him, in the interest of cheap bread for underpaid factory hands. Senator Aldrich, of Rhode Island, seems perfectly reconciled to the dead-lock in the senatorial fight in that state. He has long been “the only” senator from Rhode Island, any how.