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Two • THE MERCER CLUSTER
Friday, February 1917 U
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By 001
THE MERCER CLUSTER
Published weekly .by the Student
body of Mercer University
Harry Maugans ... Editoi
Tom Cobb
June Ellis
Charles Cork
, Robert Ware
Hab. Casson
V, V. Harria
Bill Stevens •
Oliver Custer
J. H. Reddick
Alfred Pullen
George Hultne
Paul. Stevens
RUey McKoy
Austin Gilmour
Frank Jordan
Jack Bright
Faculty Su
Edgar E. Folk .......
R. B. Anderson
Editorial
Business
Milo Medlock, Business Manager
Henry (T. Jones. Adv. Manager
Kermith D. Hurley Assistant
E. M. Turlington Auditor
L. A. Smith .'. Collection Mgr.
Jim .Haytnore Circulation Mgr.
Chas. Vaughn ........ Asst. Cir. Manager
Charles Cq* ...: Assistant
Howard Greene Assistant
Eugene Eller Assistant
Subscription: $1.50 thi College Year
Advertising rates sent upon request
Entered as second-class matter, Sept.
8. 1?24, at the post office at. Macon,
Ga„ under the act of March 3, 1879.
HOWLINGS FROM N. O.
Although we haven’t here at Mercer,
the finest equipment to be found, al
though we haven’t an endowment fund
to compare favorably with that of
some other colleges, although we
haven’t the largest student body in the
world, we have one thing of which we
should be proud and thankful for..
This possession la a safe, sane fac
ulty that doei) not go about the coun
try shooting off their mouths on mat
ter, of which they may know little but
say much. They do not pry their
names into the headlines by sensation
al charges flung at this and that col
lege, charges that cannot be substan
tiated and which are made on the spur
of the moment, mainly because, we
would say, they can't think of anything
to say to get their own school Into
print.
Recently at the Southern Baptist
meeting, a faculty member of a col
lege in the wilds of Louisiana raised
upon his hind legs and at the top' of
his Vbice yelled, “Sour Grapes,” or
that is all that it amounts to. What
ever he said, no one now can recall,
amounted to little, it, was a feeble ef
fort to let the world know that Mer
cer, Furman, Baylor and Stetson “were
also on the same plfcne with his own
little college, in that they, were fellow
members' of the. Southern Baptist- Ed
ucational chain.
It was a feeble voice, from the wil
derness apd The Cluster cannot but
help recall a picture once seen. It was
of a flee dog roaring and barking at
a passing human'; around him were
several . stately ' looking English . set
ters. As the little (ice roared in hit
apparent effort to get the Setters to
help him attack the human, the artist
displayed with uncanny accuracy a
in tha strset, and with ths clevtr tricks
and antics of ths carnival faker, pro-
ceed to draw a crowd. Ha never failed
either, the crowd cams.
After giving several (to ns) marvel
ous acta, the real business began. Get
ting out a box of Dr. So and So's
famous Cure, he would rotate to the
spell-bound audience, the properties of
this wonderful fluid, costing only n
dollar a battle. It was good for the
rheumatism, good for toothache^ back
ache, headache, and all ills known to
man or beast and if the family was
extra healthy«and 'owned no livestock,
it was an excellent furniture polish.
It has been years since one .of Hiss#
traveling- medicine men tried to sell
us any of this “good for everything
fluid” but, gentlemen, we have recently
discovered that such things are still
on the market. ■ ‘ * -
The only difference is that It can’t
be used for furniture polish. They
make it In pill form now. < As proof,
try this remedy, go to the Infirmary,
tell them there you have a back ache,
watch what I say, out'comes one of
the magic pills. 'Again, go to the In
firmary, this time with a cold, out
comes a magic pill. And so on it goes
on through the list of ills known to
humans. We didn’t believe it still ex
isted; the old medicine man.
The first time the writer went to the
Infirmary with an ill, unbeknowingly
it -was subjected to the grip of the
magic medicine. When we recovered
we were still sicker than we were be
fore we made the trip to Edgewood
Avenue. The next time we attempted
to repair our broken frame at the In
firmary, we were offered the old faith
ful remedy. We didn’t accept that time.
The illness was of a different nature
and then, too, we didn’t know that
these pills were the same old reliable,
good for every known, ailment” that
we knew in our childhood. Consequent
ly we recovered. We are not sure that
such would have been the case, had
we not. refused to be treated, “a la
pill route,” at the infirmary. - '
Eleven trips have we made through
the treasurer’s office, every time leav
ing money for the Inflrmdry, yet try
as qre may all we so far have been able
to get for our money is pills the. first
trip, and an opportunity to accept the
same the. next (which We graciously
refused). So add right now The Clus
ter. stands for, among other things,
fewer pills at the Infirmary and more
medical sense instead.
SMALL TOWN STUFF
The continued drama whieh this
column has boon featuring for several
weeks—and ths' leading man of whieh
la a member of our revered faculty—
have, for tome strange cause, educed
an iota .or so of interest among stu
dents who have for some strange cause
taken an iota or so of work under said
profeasor. In addition, Critical com
ments—of the bad taste species—have
“brought to my desk” a surplus
amount of dehris. One professor was
so interested in my health, as to coun
sel me to deal somewhat lees severely
with members of tha faculty In por
traying them to tha world.' My logical
reply was that “the half ain’t never
been told," that the fact that my
drama Is stranger than fiction might
surgest that It la a blood relative of
veracity; and that was not only tha
logical reply-—it was the substance of
the response I gave.
I am no. exponent of that brutal .bat
tle sometimes fatuously called “the
gentle art of repartee;” but if any one
wishes to nominate roe tor Dr. Johit
Roach Straton’e and the Macon Tele
graph’s “ANANIAS CLUB,” I de
clare to you that I have satisfied one
qualification requisite to membership:
I have “used- the truth economically”
—I have kept so much back that 1
might have revealed.
I-had planned not to continue the
drama after last week’s Installment,
but (time out for blushing) HORDES
OF READERS have insisted
MORE.. Regardless of my efforts to
keep all these secrets about the lives
of great men and professors, the truth
will out. So here goes.
EXCHANGES.
TCH! TCH!
An outburst of waves and ringlets
Is expected on the Ohio Wesleyan Uni
versity Campus sines the campus em
bargo on curling Irons has been lifted.
The Wesleyan deans of women have
held that the curling Iron la a very
dangerous weapon el nee IMS. They
thought it capable of being the down
fall of any sweet and simple girl.—
Wetleyan Watchtower.
We wonder If—no we don’t olthar.
Of Interest to some might bo an an
nouncement to the effect that “The
Woodrow Wilaon Foundation Award,”
17 East Forty-Soeond Street, New
York, N. Y„ is offering two prises of
$86,000 each for the best assay writ
ten and sent to that address before
October let, . 1987, the subject to bo,
“What Woodrow WUaon Moons to Mo.”
One prise ie to be awarded to a man
and the other to a woman, tho solo
qualification being that ths contestant
be between the ages of twenty and
thirty-five and a resident of the United
States; and that the article does not
exceed-twenty-five hundred words. An
article must not be signed, but must
be accompanied by a aealod envelope
containing the name and addresa of
the contestant-and an affidavit of hie
age. ' I
Many are the misfortunes that may
befall an amateur basketball team, but
among these misfortunes the greatest
is the schedule which aligns it against
a-team of poor sporta.
During her years of basketball Mer
cer has met them, these poor sports,
but even they still clung to some ot
the. basic principles of sportsmanship.
Last Saturday night, however, their
misfortune was most acute. They mat
a-team—a team accompanied by belly
aching supporters who substituted
harsh words and sour expraaakms for
the smile and Compliments with which
the sportsmen greets defeat And
they, were not content to confine their
slurring remarks and 'barbed words
to the ranks of amateur players; they
ACT lV.-8cene i—The Psychology
class-room of Dr. Harrison.
Prof. < in heat of lecture)—Now,
young gentlemen, 1 Wish you to un
derstand that all of this soft-soap
about will power is taboo. Psychology
proves that a man is a bundle of de
sires and—er, young gentleman, is It
raining lumps of hail through the
roof? Whither the fusillade? Why
the attack? .This is mutiny! Cease!
What,.you persist? I am hit! Wound
ed! Sorely wounded!
Mr. RudisjU (coming up for air)
Why, professor, that, is only a shower
of chalk that came—er, from some
mysterious source. You are not sorely
wounded. Now,, if that had been- a
shower of rain, surely you would have
had—er, I mean, professor, that you
could hardly be expected to get but
of a shower of chalk. Your illusion
was very natural, sir.
Prof.—Young gentlemen, this is an
insult. I am going to retire from the
room; while 1 am gone, you prepare
fitting resolutions to eubmit to me.
I shall wait outside for five minutes.
EXIT. ‘
\ DID IT?
"—Entertained at the second of
their aeries of tea dances. All of the.
young ladies invited were brunettes,
but we noticed some blpndes who must
have crashed the gate. The Ethiopian
Orchestra carried out (he color scheme
to perfection.—Technique.
went farther, by belly-aching to tbs
look of utter disgust upon the faces world through tho editorial columns
of the group, of disinterested beasts.
It being only an oil painting and not
a moving picture we of necessity had
to di>w our own conclusions as to
what happened next. This we have
done. In our mind we see the little
flee, as he realizes he is the fool and
not the hero, withdrawing into the
shadows and sneaking away from the
disgusted setters, ■(> far his superiors.
In tho case of the human who re
cently, as did the little Ate, rear upon
his hind lege and receive no response
from those whom he sought to arouse,
we of necessity have to draw a mind
picture of the ,caae now. We won’t
give it but anyway we can't forget
that oil paintiiig of tha dogs.
AN ANCIENT TRICK
White we were a amaD bey, living
in a small town, as we $4, there used
to come every once in a while, a medi
cine show. At night as the shadows
pen faUing, the mediefno mm weald
light the eld gee Jets at each aide of
of the home-town paper.
In a recent copy of the Albany Her
ald we hear from one of our own men,
a former Mercer student who wishes
to disown his Alma Mater and above
all to throw mud on the name of her
basketball team. Since reading hia
editorial wo do not wonder at tha sud
den turn he has seen At to take. Such
men as he could not stick, could never
remain loyal .to an Alma Mater, for
tme sportsmanship and loyalty arc
made of the same Arm fibres. These
fibres seem to fait lacking, sad we ro-
Fret very little the lots of one who
can boast none.
If he saw anything wrong In that
game, on either team, tie must have
been looking crate-eyed, or else he had
something different from the. Bibb
County brand. The contest was refer
eed by a mas trite watches
MtelF closely, and
-.EST
j The youngest freshman at George
Washington University ie a girl just
thirteen years of age.—Kentucky Ker
nel. And haa It come to pass that we
vaunt the low mentality of our age?
Why, we can well remember the day
when we thought it a disgrace that a
boy should graduate from Harvard
only at the mature age of fifteen!
The Richmond Collegian entitles its
exchange column “With the Educa
tional Institutions.” Which wc sus
pect of being gross and premeditated
flattery in excelsis.
A professor at Geneva College advo
cates marriage on the part of students.
In his opinion there should be a law
that no student should pass the sopho
more year without taking unto himself
a wife.—Blue Stocking. “So that he
may have his ‘Ba-B’ degree when he
graduates?” we ask, With deference
to J. D S.
Scene II—The same.
Prof, (entering)—Read your reso
lution.
Mr. Davis (who had been elected
moderator)—We hereby resolve to
throw no more chalk at our prafi
(Alarums, cheers, trumpets,, excur
sions.)
Prof.—That is a work,of real man
hood,young gentlemen. Now you are
taking my motto: never be childish.
I have no doubt that you will live up
to your resolve. Now, observe as I
make this sketch of the brain on tho
blackboard.
Mr. 8tewnon—Professor, have you
hoard about Professor Hailey and—
Prof, (stopping him)—Let that wait.
What has Professor Hailey to do with
the brain?
Mr. Bammon—Nothing whatever.
You win.
(Suddenly Mf. Davis steals silent
ly to the f rout ef the cinae, raises a
uda: Fite, attack!
A ruthleas tenant ef chalk is turned
npon the professor, the entire date
rising up armed with hundreds of tiny
white cylinders. The professor Is sur
rounded, bat gate up a courageous re-
i... ' ' „
despair, upon yeroaiviaf
la tha grateri-wT
The Watchtower,
Wesleyan College,
Macon, Ga.
Dear It: ’ .
We won’t bite you.
Resignedly yours,
Mercer U. Cluster.
Rowing attracts more members of
the seme family at Yale than any
other spert 8everal memben of this
year’s crew a re sons or brothers, in
some instances both, of former oars
men. It If interesting to note that in
many cafe# they row in tho same po
sition in the boot occupied by forme:
members of their family.
A sixty-page edition with rotograv
nre and magaaine sections was pub
wd recently by the Maroon, stadent
daily at the University of Chicago.
Among the contributors were Chris
topher Morley, novelist
Longworth, speaker of I
Senator Arthur K. Robinoba, of Indi
ana; President Max Mason, ef the Unl-
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