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THE MERCER CLUSTER
THE MERCER CLUSTER
Published weekly by the student
body of Mercer University .
EXCHANGES
Harry Maugans
Editoi
Tom Cobb
June Kllis
Charles Cork
Robert Ware
Hab. Catson
V. V. Harrie
Bill Stevens
Oliver. Custer
J. H. Reddick
Alfred Pullen
■ George Hulnie
Paul Stevens
Riley McKpy
■Austin Gilmour
Frank Jordan
jack Bright
Faculty Supervisors
Riley B. Plymale Editorial
R. B. Anderson Busiitesa
Milo Medlock Business Manager
Henry C. Jones Adv. Manager
Kermifh D, Hurley _... Assistant
E. M. Turlington ^.. Auditor
L. A. Smith;..'......™ :. Collection Mgr.
' Jim Hay more..:—™....Circulation Mgr.
- 7 Assistants
Eugene Eller Howard -Green
■ Charles. Cox • Charles Vaughn
Subscription: $1.50 the College Year
Advertising rates sent upon request
Entafed as second-plass matter. Sept
8, 1924, at the post office at Macan,
Ga., under the act of March 3, 1879.
The Richmond Collegian has an edi
torial entitled “Eliminate the Para
sites.’- The title' apealu for itself. If
tuition fees were not so important to
the maintenance of the university it
would be excellent to expel the para
sites from Mercer also.
“Some day the co-eds will learn that
the human knee is a Joint and not an
entertainment.”—Richmond. Collegian.
A contest between the Idee clubs of
four southern colleges wilt be held in
Greenville, according to-the Furman
Hornet. ' Those taking part will be the
University of Alabama, the University
of Tennessee, North Carolina State
College and Furman: The contest will
be held tonight, Friday, and will con
sist of the singing of “The Lotus
Flower” by Shumann, a choice song
and a college song. ;
The Florida Alligator says, “The
university as a whole should be-as
much interested in scholars as in ath
letes. This charming Action that
winning football team will bring every
other blessing to a university is not
proven in the; history of any Ameri
can college.
SOPHOMORE STAFF
•• Editor
Howard Leonard
Associate •
George Roberts
Assistants
Hal Harris Jack Kabtih
Buford Boone . Clyde Carpenter
Charlie Wallace • W. 8. Wright
Sam Cheek
Faculty Advisor V
Hugh Awtry .
The Agonistic of last week seems to
be dedicated to “Healthisis—Latest
Thing bn - the Campus.” The entire
! front page is dedicated to priceless
| health advice. Such headlines as “Our
Anatomy,” “Me and my Feet,” “Are
You a Hundred Percenter?” “The Wis
dom of Professor Happy,” “You Ask
Me -Who I Am, and I Shall Tell You"
adorn the front page of that distin
guished paper... r
ROYAL PURPLR
Mercer, in common with most other
colleges, is regarded by many as
place whose activities consist chiefly
in various forms of oaflth recreations.
One of the principle indulgences of a
certain class of so-called students Is.
a childish game called “Hating Frtish.'
To an extent this game is still played
by bold'Sophs and timid frosh. But
no longer the Sophomore class
look to' athletics, hating and frater
nity mysticism as the premier objec
tive of college life.
The arts have entered Mercer?
Sophomores have : forsaken. funny pa
pers for “The American Mercury” and
“The Forum.” Dramatics and litera
ture are slowly replacing, fundamental
ism and Babbittry. Subtle wit has
superseded, thapel platform Jokes
Blatantry is given way to sophistic*
tion. The Royal Purple rises up and
says '‘Kneel!” to the babbling red.
Aristocracy ascends.
STALKS
By Corn
I have the misfortune of rooming
with the regular author of this column.
You who are so “hard up” for reading
matter that you devolve upon your
selves the weekly task of translating
the verbose phraseology of the author
into intelligible college lingo know
something of hie ueual subject matter.
Hie dissertations on BoMonk occupy
such a groat portion of. his time that
he thinks of them all day and dreams
of them all night. Mr. Cobb really
has no classes under Dr. Harrison,
but the other night he had the follow
ing dream, which he told me the fol
lowing morning confidentially: (He’s
too popular with himself to read the
colu tin When he does not edit it, s6
that I can. recount all this without
fear of his apprehending a mouse.)
Maid: “Miss Mary, there’s - a gen
tleman in the parlor to see you.”
Mary: “Are you sure he’s a gentle
man?” - . '
Maid: “Yes, mam.”
Mary: “How do you know.?’’ •
Maid: “He’s got on pants.”—The
WafchtoWer,
Seven .hundred and Afty' thousand
men and women are attending colleges
arid universities in the Uhited States,
according to a recent survey made by
the Boston Transcript.. The paper be
lieves that the maximum enrollment
has not yet been reached because at
present there are only T%y, per cent,
of , 6,000,000 . eligible taking college
courses, whereas approximately '■ 20
per'cent, should be enrolled..
Act V. Scene 1, Dr. Harrison’s class
room.
Enter Carpenter, Sammon, RudlsIU,
Cobb, Barnes, Davis, Clark, et cetera,
at various times-during period.
Enter BoMonk, 14)4 . minuted late.
Prof.—“Young gentlemen, the youth
of today, doubtless is approaching
condition bordering- upon depraved
bandonmeht. Yesterday afternoon on
the street car I observed a- young
couple holding hands-—actually hold
ing hands on the street car. Now,
Mr. Cobb, I regard you as a young
gentleman. Just what is' your reac
tion to this unwholesome affair -of the
car?” - -i, . .
Mr. Cobb—“Ahh—pardon, Prof, but
er, -with me, that depends er—upon the
degree of ease with which I could, er,
could keep my. optical organs riveted
upon her lineaments.”
BoMonk.—"Mr. Cobb,. or, I don’t
seem to get your point. I assure you
that the scene was bratenly public.”
Mr. Cobb.—“Er—My dear Prof:,
was merely striving^to convey that
SIX BBCROSCOPBS;
TAKEN FROM LAB.
Last Monday night one of the seven
microscopes^ which were /tojen from
the biological laboratory was brought
back and placed at the held of the
stairs In the chapel building. City
tectives have no clues concerning the
whereabouts of the other instruments
or the identity of the thievee. The eix
microscopes are, valued at approxi
mately $500 by Dr. Carver.
The thieves gained entrance to the
laboratory by, bursting a panel in the
door. The lock to the instrument
room wap then cut off and the marau
ders removed the microscopes. The
lock aeemingly was cut by a pair of
long-handled eteel nippers, denoting
the work of skilled house-breakers.
A few books were also stolen from
Dr. Carver’s office end the thievee en
tered some of the student*’ desks in
the laboratory. However, this
Was of a small consequence compared
to that of the microscopes.
POORSMYTHE
Asserting that 85 per cent, of the
candidates 7 for admission to the New
York. Bar are educationally unquali-
Aed, the Committee on. Character and
Fitness is strenuously urging a four-
year A. B. college course as a require
ment, . .
SHALL FRESHMEN VOTE?
As the annual election for Master
Merceriaii draws near, there is specu
lation by some of tlie morp authorita
tive minds of the' Campus concerning
the advisability of disfranchising the
freshmen, or, at least, cireumeeribihg
ip aome manner their voting power.
The purpose of thia editorial, it may
be Veil to, say, 1* not, as some Will sup
pose, to deride freshmen in general and
spitefully and maliciously to deprive
them of their prerogatives; it expeeta
to consider liberally the comparative Ipther class at Mercer,
merit of the propoaaL
The most fundamental factor in Ha
favor Is the abuse drhlch freshmen, aa
a ride, make of their ballot. They vote
foelishly and regardleosly for' somo
warrior of the gridiron, whom they ro
mantically look up to as a maryaUoua
hero in ncit duly football, but in evary-
thing alp* a* weH. Frequently' the
freshmen does got care to ipraetigrt i
, to eee whether kjehero is a leader 11
sonality, scholarship, active interest in
athletics, high character, sympathy
with student activities, the elements of
leadership, patriotism, manliness, and
right .ambition.
In case the freshmen should be de
prived of their voting power, they
would, quite naturally, protest with
such a hue and cry as has not been
heard on the campus in many a day.
And their indignation would be not
wholly unrighteous. Since one of the
purposes of the contest ie that the
fellow-students of the blaster Mer
cerian shall be those who choose the
man to bo sj honored, the freshman
have as vital a right to participate in
the election as . the members of any
Freshman are
quit* manifestly as mnch the fallow-
students of the Master Mercerian as
aid the eophomoree and Juniors.
To claim that, inasmuch as fresh
men have, never before taken part In
the election, they wouULnever know
the difference, is'as absurd as the claim
of the Southern slave-owners who con
tended that the negroes w*e better Mr.
ura* alms than they would be if they
i freed, atoec the slaves had no no- O
h«w It felt to to free.
It is therefor* apparent that the
remedy. ie to malm ‘
ftdtfcnmn, tbit.
Algernon Smythe was a bright .college
student.
One who studied in manner most im
prudent*
Considered by all as a man erudite,
What were other men's woes, to him
was delight.
Greek and biology,
History, psychology;
Economics, education,
Literary interpretation,
- Journalism, drafting,
Physics-and grafting,
- Calculus, botany,
Verbs hottentoteny,
' Mlthological lore •'''
Mythological lore
He -skimmed through with ease, and
- registered for more
were she sufficiently pulchritudinous,
that in no wise, should the palpable
swain, be held culpable for purloining
that lily-hued pente-digited extension
incidentally dangling upon her nearest
tentacle.' Now, on the antipodal hand.
Prof.' should her countenance resemble
colt’s, father on the retreat, indeed
I cannot invest any approbation in the
taste with which the ardent Adonis
was possessed. Your accusation that
he committed a travesty upon conven
tion would then be entirely JustlAca-
tive.”
BoMonk—“Suppose,. Mr, Cobb,
should inform you that the young gen
tleman—I mean young man involved—
is a member of our class?”'
Mr. Cobb—“Well? er, Prof., natural
ly I should conclude that er, that the
accumulation of gentility in the clien
tele of this student group could pos
sess wot more than one baa* brute-
one irank ‘reversion to type.’ And of
those present, Mr. Sammon is the on
ly man who seems tobe blushing tem-
pestoualy:”
BoMonk—''You have divined one
fact, Mr; Cobb. Now, 1 ani sure you
would beootne irretrievably disgusted
with Mercer should I tell you that Ms
female accomplice is a Mercer co-ed,
And she, you tig gentlemen, is Miss Ve
——, er (door opens), er, worn* in
Mias Amersbn. Hr, madam, wo were
Just thinking of you. Do not deem
this sudden, bnt *r. I’m an ordaoied
minister—pnd er, I think it would not
be entirely injudicious for me to unite
you and Mr. Sammon in, me, certain
serious Mas of a Hf e-long teanro—in
view of the faets to hand. What, ho,
young gentlemen! Call ua ambulance!
window to Me destruction. O tempera!
r :, - ,
(AltittMi vMWiAitts» tnnnpiti)
Prodigious indeed was his knowledge
and fame,
’Til at last he could claim, attached to
his name
The letters, A.B., M.A., L.L.B., M.S.,
LL.D. •
Ph.D., Jur.D., X.Y.Z., A.B.C., apd at
last, p.T.C.
H3NSSVN
sioicofouej
Smythe’s college days done, search for
a job was begun;
Day on . day of searching, howe’er,
ridded him none;
“There’s little. you’re good for,” was
the answer absurd
AH gave him, when- of his training
they’d heard. i
Salesman,. Aghter,
Druggist or writer,
Mechanic, mortician,
Baker, electrician;
Banker Or Sailor,
Tinker or tailor.
Accountant or lawyer,
■ .. Grocerman, sawyer,
Or mediocre actor,
Of none, he was told, did he. know the
leaat vital factor.
Alas ! Poor Smytha, in want end ddeo-
lfttion, • v . '
Benched hie wit’s end in hie end des
peration.
Grasping the last remaining hep*, la
Ms uria’Mkla plight,
Ha shouted from the MBtoge the ell-
max of his Aght; ,v
“Munisipal reform
Is my held platform.
•a tag,
Law wfwamuat gun ^
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^saarad mo
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