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Four
THE MERCER CLUSTER
^Fridby^ebnaijr^afjjiji?
Mercer’s Adonis Relates
‘How I Became Beautiful’
Buck Loser, Most Handsotne, in Exclusive Story,
Tells Cluster Intimate Physiognomy Secrets
RclMMd With Special Permiasion
by “The Syndicate For Notoriety Au
tobiogrsphiss." Thla is the first of a
series of installments in the life story
of the famous Buck Loser, entitled—
“HOW I BECAME HANDSOME”,
written by. Mr. Loser, himself.
The only way 1 am able to explain
my comeliness is to say that 1 was a
child of fortune. Of course, there is
a lot in environment; but heredity is
the mother of all beauty. And they
tell me that when I was bom I was as
red as a Tennessee beet, just blushing
all over'at the praises the folks and
the neighbors were throwing at me. I
didn’t- know a word to say—then, but
1 sure did want to tell them that I was
in reality not pretty at all;—because
modesty is one of the big secrets ip
beauty.'
I remember hearing Dad say to Un
cle Buchanan: “He doesn’t look so
bad, does he, Buck, old boy?’’ And my
admiring Uncle looked at me again
and replied to dad: “Doggone if he
ain’t'a dandy.” Of course, I didn’t have
an inkling of what they were tallfing
about—’cause 1 was not' then a day old
—but I remember that 1 reasoned to
myself while they were talking that I
had got a pretty .good start in the
world.
When 1 was a year old I had
snapped out of being bald-headed and
mother began fixing my hair up in
ringlets everyday and I remember how.
1 used to cry when she would tie the
curls with strings. 1 She would look
horribly distressed when 1 would cry
and she.would say: “Precious, don't
make such fearful wrinkles' in your
face. That will keep you from being
pretty.” So 1 came to have great self-
control over my emotions and -even
now it is seldom that 1 allow myself
to cry very long; it will ruin the fea-
t tires. *
Beauty Surgeon!
When I was eighteen months otd
father carried me down to Atlanta and
I went through an awful ordeal in the
doctor’s office. The doctor broke my
nose and then put my whole head in;
.to a recasting mold and worked bn me
fur two-days and nights without stop-
pihg. You see a thing like -that can be
done if one will attend to it at an early
age. The bones in my head were
nothing more than Soft cartilage and
. yielded readily to the conjuring fingers
of the surgeon. It was not exactly
recreation to sit there and have my
face mashed into another shape—but
the surgeon'did call.it something like
that,—re-creation, I think. After he
took my face out of the mold he ap
plied all kinds of soothing warm lo
tions and massaged my face—last of
all—with sand paper.
(Editor’s note—This u probably the
reason why Mr. Loser has no beard.)
(Author’s note—I’m telling this sto
ry. ’Will you please stay out of h?)
Since that memorable visit to At Ian-
. t’a, I have never employed any artificial
methods for the purpose of enhancing
my countenance’s effulgence and come
liness. My sifter! ati used cosmetics
in profusion, but I never had to. My
mother used to try to keep them from
using paint by pointing at me and tell
ing them that I never used paint. But
they would look sad and say: "Mother,
his cheeks and lips are naturally rosy.
He doesn’t need any paint”
Started Athletics Late
My parent's would never allow me to
ptay ball or any of the games like the
other little boys did. They were
afraid .that I would get hurt- and mar
some feature. Of Course, I was young
then and didn't understand. But I
shall always be thankful that they
would not let me take any chances on
it. ' o,■ ' *. . ..
Naturally, you are taking me how I
ever became an athlete—since my pa
rents would not let me play like the
other kids. There’s always a way, you
know. (Editor’s note—Mr. Loser
must have learned that at the sur
gegh’s office.)
.(Author's note—I possibly could
mg|m this story iaterestiag—if Mr. El
lis would keep quiet.)
As .1 was saying, there is always a
srgy. WeU. I maid sense where that
mOM good looking then Nd been very
J. P. C. DOWNED
BY BRUIN SQUAD
IN LAST BATTLE
Cuba Defeat Gordon Institute by
One-sided Score in Prelimi
nary Gams
V
.their final home game of the sea
son, the Mercer Bears were extended
to t^e limit to defeat the J. 1\ C. quin
tet of -Atlanta, last Saturday night -at
the city auditorium. The final score
was 43-29. .
The game was a nip a'nd tuck affair
from the beginning to the cud and it
was only two or. three minutes bp fore
the close that the Bears felt assured
of victory. • . -
Malcolm Green and John Parks in
this game made their final appearance
before local fans. Both strove to make
a good final showing and both succeed
ed. Green with. 18 points Was high
point man for the night, while Parks
played a great defensive, game. “Phon
ey” Smith also came in for a shard of
the glory; he made 12 points and cov
ered the floor in an admirable manner.
Bears Star
The whole Bear’team played one of
its best games of the year. Their pass-
work was swift snd their shooting ac
curate. ■ /‘'.-I
All this was quite necessary for the
J. P. C. team was not easy to beat.
They displayed the best passing of any
visiting team this season. At times it
was bewildering to Mercer's defense.
The Cub-team, led by Mallard, who
scored 25 points, overwhelmed the
Gordon Institute quintet by a 62 to 22
score. It was the last game of the sea
son for the freahmen. Stovall with’16
points was the second highest scorer
and Wright, came next with 12 points.
Matt with 13 points led the visitors.
Cubs Gain Vengeance
The Baby Bears’ brilliant passwork
and their accuracy in shooting was too
much for the Gordon five.
The freshmen have had a success
ful season; they have been defeated
only twice. These defeats came at the
hands of Barnesville A. & M. and G.
M. C. The first- game with Barnes-
vflle was dose and in -a .later game the
Cubs won decisively. The score was
also dose in the G. M. C. game and
several of - the regular players were
out
Dne of the outstanding feats of the
Rats-was when they won two games
in one night during one of their road
trips, playing South Georgia College
and Chauncey High School one ^fiter
the other.. In this rampage the fresh
men scored 130 points to their oppon
ents’ total of 25.
athletic. I didn't want to neglect any-
thing, so. I decided that I would Have
to become an-athlete. Well', a few
weeks before I came away to college,
I bought a book, entitled “How To Be
A Great Athlete”. -1 studied this book
exhaustively apd learned all of its
theories - - - ,■
Thanks, Mr. Morton!
And when I came to Mercer I de
veloped into a star football player and
into a fair man at the other aporti
although .1 had never even tried to
play before in my life. If my mother
knew bow dose Mr. Morton came to
stepping in my face with hia cleats in
the Georgia game, I venture that ahe
would go into hysterics. Frankly, if
tke accident had occurred^ I do not be
Move my nose could ever have re
gained Ha even, artistic lines. Some
guardian angel must have been hover
ing over me.
You would think that I have had
hundreds of sweethearts, but seme
how. girls have never had any attrac
tion ter me. They In seek horribly
«4r creature*, anyway. j*
“PEACHES” SAYS
JUNIOR CLUSTER
IS SURE WINNER
Charlie Chaplin, Eleanor Glynn,
dnd Others Flood Staff
With Lettera
Following are some- of the testi
monials received from famous and in
famous persons prophesying that' the
Juniors will win the cup. The Junior
staff was swamped with many such let
ters. • ' • , ;
“I have nothing but words of praise;
for your class” writes “Peaches”
Browning. “Just let rise .take this op
portunity to say that' 1 .am sure you
will win the cup. You are so sympa
thetic- with one in trouble,"
Even Charlie - Chaplin was heard
front. He writes: “1 have already be
gun to anticipate the pleasure of read
ing the Junior Cluster.. My heart is
with you and- 1 am sure you will be
successful.” '
That Letter)
Blit speaking of testimonials, here is
one from dose to home: '.
My dear editor of-the Junior Cluster:
I was a little girl at Wealeyanne, hut
since the freshman Cluster came out
my serious problems have been solved
ami I feel little no more. I don’t want
to appear as a traitor to the little
freshmen but you know how it is. One
cannot remain childish all. one’s life.
The wise change their minds, the foots
never. . ,
You see it's just like this. Since 1
have found 4 out about this pharm
course and that it is ‘‘Phoney’ 1 Smith
and Wallace Butts who will probably
graduate with highest honors in the
department, and they are Juniors.
What else could any poor girl do?
I met that society. editor of your
issue too, and that is somewhat the
cause of my change. . She is so clever
and I find that she is just as charming
as she is clever, and not a hit sassy.
She’s a Junior you know.
Forsakes Froth
I’m sorry, little freshmen, .but it
seems that the Juniors are hound to
win for they, have everything—society
editor, pharm- course hondr grads and
all. 1 hope you won't be mad.
(Signed) “A little Wesleyanne. no
more.’’- :
"We, don’t see how your class could
fail to win the cup for the best paper,”
wires the Smith brothers. “We arc
pulljng for you. Continue your use of
our cough drops and' you will not wor
ry your professors by coughing.”
“Don’t you think that I intend tq
let Charlie get ahead of me. I know,
you are the best class at Mercer and
will win. Oh, gee! I knew you were
kidding about being on Charlie's side.”
•Lite Grey Chaplin.
“The Hard Boiled Virgin’’
“I never had anything that gave me
more pleasure than being able to as
sure you Juniors-of-twinning the cup.”
writes Frances Newman, She wrote
The Hard Boiled Virgin, so she ought
to |enow.
"Attn boy, Jim Tom-—Atta boy Bush
—I know your class will trounce out
the others and slide in safe at home,"
came from Dutch Leonard. “I knew
you boys didn't think I was crooked,”
he continued.
“I want to tell yon how wonderful
I think your issue of the Cluster it go
ing to be. I,am sure you will be suc
cessful,” writes Aimee McPherson.
“Oh, boys,” gushes Elinor Glynn,
“My novels, “Three Weeks”, “His
Hour,” “The Supreme Moment” and
“So Big” are going to be discarded by
the public. I’ll have to write one
worse than “The Hard Boiled Virgin",
now, to keep up with you all!”
LOUDER!
KNIG
MOST POPULAR
- (Continued from Page 1)
overlooked, this (act and found
themselves compelled to vote lor
“that certain girl” for fear a vote
for some other girl would be dis
covered. Consequently, thirty-one
Wetley-Annes received votes!
Miss Bracey had a wide majority
in the race, aa a result of which
Cannonburg (or la it Qunners-
ville?), Alabama, is no doubt cele
brating tonight. Several votes
were cast for a “Mis* Wendell”,
but her name was not found on a
roll of the Wesleyan student body.
Second, third and fourth places in
the vote for the most popular Wea-
ley-Anne were won by Misses
Marian Faircioth, Helen White, and
Eleanor McCIaren.
Everybody'* Conceited
"If we could see ourselves as
othtrs see us” would be a revela
tion on the campus. The fact that
thirty-four students were nominated
aa the moat conceited laada one to
atop and think of what the other
fellow is thinking.
The winners of tha election for
the biggest Bars need no introduc
tion. They apeak for themselves.
Mercer runs high in the number of
prevaricators as twenty-six were
nominated (including two peofee
sort). i
The contest was conducted on a
strictly honest basis. The votes
were checked against a roll of the
student body and surprisingly few
had to be thrown out because of
various reasons. Tha counting was
done under the supervision of a fac
ulty member.
SENIORS PREPARE
FOR BIG BANQUET
An'important Senior Class meeting
is announced for next Tuesday by Bill
King, President. The meeting will be
held in the' Ciceronian Hall at the
chapel period. - Plans'fpr the Hyst an
nual Senior Class-Banquet to be given
by the,Mercer University Alumni As
sociation will be formulated, at this'
time.
Mr. J. K. Williams, Secretary of
Alumni Association, has announced
that the alumni-sponsored Senior data
banquet is to be an annual event in the
future, and is to be the .occasion for
the visit of Outstanding Mercer Alum
ni who- will address the Senior class oa
topics relating to their future relation-
MERCER TP GIVES
PROGRAM TO GIRLS
The Mercer Y. M. C A. will present
a program at Bessie Tift College Sun
day night. Those taking part hi the
event will be Fred Forrester, Leslie
Williams, W. W. Cook, Opher Coop-
Barnard Brooks, Horace Harwell,
•rid John G Young, Jr.
The program for the M Y” next week
haa bee* announced as follows:
On Tuesday night Dean W. J. Brad
ley will dalim a talk. Wednesday
night _Miaa_ Fay Lockhart will sing
Laa Rankin aa ac-
Thursday
quartet will ting.
MERCER PLAYERS
■ GIVE VAUDEVILLE
Director PrornaVarsatiJn Enter
tainer During Tour of Actors
to South Georgia Torino
The Mercer, Players returned front'
a four day trip last Sunday. The play
‘Nothing But The Truth” - was. pre
sented in Midvitk, Sylvania, Claxton,
and Stateaboro; in all of these towns
the Players were received With genu
ine hospitality and by enthusiastic au
diences.
Three of the Players took the role
of “Minute Men 1 ’ involuntarily when
they arrived in Midville only five min
utes before- the curtain waa - to. be
raised. Such late entrance into'the
city was caused by ho less than six
punctures between Sandersvifle and
Midville.
Hank Hall was the unofficial enter
tainer and source of amusement for
the Players. In Statehburd Hank pre
sented a little one-act comedy for the
exclusive entertainment of the Players.
Subject of the comedy was Hal Harris'
interview with Madam Schumann-
Heink. Hank impersonated Hal Har
ris and Hah. Casson played aa Madam
Schumann-Heink . while the Players
split their sides with laughter.
in Sylvania, Thursday the 17th of
February, there were three dauntless
“musketeers” who war* not afraid of
water.—Woi Jordan, V. V. Harris
and Henry Stokes were the hot-blood
ed trio who took a February plunge in
the sparkling waters of. “Slue Springs”.
—In their birthday suits, tool
The versatile Hank Hall staged an
entirely new dance at Claxton, espec
ially- for the Player*. This was known
as the “Monkey Dance” with Harold
Raymond as tha subject of the akit.
Harold was completely deprived , of his
flowing robes with the curtain finally
intervening to prevent absolute ex
posure.
No other trips will be made by the
Players this term hot plans are under
way for production of a new play in
the Spring. It is hoped that the re
cent Broadway success “Mary's An
kle” may be obtained. The ptay has
never been staged by amateurs and a
royalty of $50.00 must be paid in order
to secure the p|ay.
The. cast of' “Nothing But The
Truth” are planning t» give the club
a banquet in the near future at which
time Hank Hall will repeat hia enter
tainments. -' , ■ '
Easy-Fittting Suits
For Y ou ng Men
That seem bulk to
along with
Young Executives.
Mm; ma. tans, Mus; at
orarphidB am) stripgg,
iTtonsars WML ‘
if
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* ■'
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