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2 MERCER CLUSTER MARCH 7. IMS V lZdti&uaU The Search For, And Shooting Of Sciuridae Editor's Note: This pleasantly naughty arti cle by David Sibley is reprinted by reeptest from the Feb. IS, 1968 Cluster. In the present age of prolific authors it is quite unusual to find any sub ject or activity, of even the minuteset interest, that lias esca|xxl mass elalioration in printed form. One need search no further than the closest magazine nuk to discover thorough and enlightening dissertations ranging from “the sexual education of the pre adoles cent Sarcodina” to "should suicide be subject to capi tal punishment." It would seem, in fact, that the more esoteric the informa tion the more material produced concerning it. Vet on occasion, some activity is accidently passed over. Whether it is Ixcause other writers assume the subject must have been' covered already, or because the subject appeals to too great a majority, 1 do not know. Hie fart remains that despite tile phenome nal increase in the si/c of the "Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature" over the past few years, there are several topics which arc not included. It is to just such a topic that I intend to address myself in this article. Search as 1 would, nowhere could 1 discover informa tion- concerning the sh< tot ing of Sciuridae. 1 scoured every hunting manual and every gun magazine. I poured over every piece of literature connected in any way with the S.I’.C.A. I talked to biologists, natur alists, forest rangers, and game wardens. Still I c ould find nothing Then, in the course of my inquiries, 1 finally discovered an ex pert on the subject. Ironic ally he appeared on the spot where I had liegun my quest, the library. Al though he was actively engaged in the sport in question, 1 was able to extract from hint many pertinent facts which I will now relate. It appears that the shoot ing of the Sciundae is not a new sport. Not by a long shot. In fact, according to my preoccupied informant, it has been dated as far back as the rise of Egypt. On the walls of the tomb of the pharoah Oseeialeg- gis, archaeologists discov ered several pictures de picting the aged pharoah engaged in the s|x»rt. Its [M>pularity rose and fell through the ages until a re-emphasis was placed on it in the early 1950's. In 1962 its |x>[Hilaritv tree ante so widespread that it lx- came necessary to set up hunting seasons for the Sciuridae. It may lx 1 noted here that the law govern ing the shexuing of Sciuri dae has been flagrantly disregarded, especially by our youth. Perhaps this appalling situation is an other by-product of the new morality. There is a bill in the House presently demanding stricter enforce ment of the law and it should be passed, barring interference by the A.F L. (Aberrant Funseekers League) lobby, within the next few years. (For a more thorough discussion of this bill see Hen Dover's "The Squirrelly Law," Acron Press, 1967.) There are several feasi ble reasons lor the sudden come-back of Sciuridae shooting. It will be remem- lx*red that early in 1952 an extensive campaign was carried on by the world renowned Anti-vivisection- ist League (for a history of the movement see Doan Hurtuin’s “The Hunter- Tragic Pervert”. Pet Press, 1957) against the merciless slaughter of helpless ani mals. The brunt of the attack fell on the hunter. As a result the majority of small game hunters search ed for a sport which would provide tracking and slroot- ing but did not involve the actual killing of the prey. Sciuridae shooting fit the description perfectly and it soon became the leading sport of its kind. Another reason for the sudden rise of the sjxjrt was the advent of the Cold War. Since time immemori al, men whose passions were incensed by war, were able to relceve these ag gressions in the course of combat. Wholesale murder was acceptable under these conditions. The Cold War posed a problem. Although man’s passions were excited, there was no battlefield on which to re lieve them. Society would limply not condone mur der, even in view of the unnatural situation. When it was learned that a cer tain sport yielded the exhilerating thrill of shoot ing without the complica tion of committing mur der, vast numbers of con verts were quickly won over. Of course the Viet Nam war is now expected to diminish the signifi cance of this cause. Still another reason that might lx- considered is the cur rent trend toward non physical sexual satisfaction It has long Ixen an accept ed |>remise among psychol ogists that sexual stimula tion and violence are closely connected. Equal satisfaction can lx achieved in the carrying out of aggressive tendencies as in the completion of the sex act. Therefore many sex deviates a n d frustrated college students were at tracted to Sciuridae shoot ing- It behooves us here to delve into the actual me chanics of the sport sea that the reader might per ceive the relevancy of the aforementioned causes to the rise of the sport. The term shoot, does not have the usual connotations. Here, the shooting is ac- complished with the hunt er's eyes rather than with any form of firearms. It is for this reason that there is absolutely no chance of one killing or maiming one's prey. Note also, the inexjaensive - aspect of the sport since no equipment is necessary in the pursuit and shooting of Sciuridae. The question usually raised at this point is what pur- |x)sc run there lx in a s|x>u which claims shoot ing but only makes use of the eye? I can only ask that you forestall making a conclusion until you have understood the finer |x>ints of the S|x>rt. Being a sport of pursuit, shooting Sciuridae appeals mostly to males. The few females who have engaged in this activity are invari ably ostracized by women and found to be extremely undesiralile by men. One interesting fact is that the females who do become avid hunters are usually educated in boarding schools or women's col leges. The most important facet of the hunt is the locating of the quarry. Curiously enough, the ma jority of Sciuridae are to be found indoors and in public areas of congrega tion. Unlike mast small game who prefer open areas and solitude, the Sciuridae prefer compan ionship and enclosure. Though it is assumed that they are also present else- where, and infrequent sightings are reported out of doors, the experienced hunter will seek them in doors. According to sta tistics they are found most frequently in restaurants, but stations, train stations, air ports and libraries. They are also quite pre valent in classrooms but the nature of seating ar rangements make them quite difficult to shoot The library offers the best hunting ground since noise is at a minimum. The most prominent char acteristic attributed to Sciuridae is a tendency to wards skittishness if they are aware that they are being observed. The si lence of the library at mosphere encourages them to concentrate on some object and they are less likely to be aware of the hunter's presence. Should they perceive that they are being watched their first reaction is to hide behind a limb. If this occurs there is little, if any, chance that they will reappear in that same environment within several hours. Fortunately they are also noted for short memory and though they may be exposed one day, they will readily ap pear there on another day. They may also be seen, even immediately after be ing exposed, as they change from limb to limb ascer taining the hunter's where abouts. After locating the prey the hunter begins to stalk it. At this point the object is to place oneself in such a position as to have a completely unobstructed view of the animal. This is not as easily accom plished as it may sound. As was previously men tioned, the Sciuridae is very sensitive to sound and avoids, at all cost being seen. It is, therefore, not only important not to at tract attention to oneself by making noise, but also by not making it obvious what one's intention is. Needless to say, the most successful hunters are those accomplished in the art of nonchalance. Another haz ard in maintaining unob scured vision ts the Inter ference by non-hunters. Any afficiando knows to steer clear of a fellow hunter but the uninformed can be frustrating. Un aware of what the hunter is attempting to accom plish they will walk care lessly back and forth in the direct line of vision. Pa tient hunten, though they find this annoying, endure the hardship, while others lose their tempers and in the ensuing ruckus fright en the Sciuridae away- Though the pursuit is enjoyable, the actual plea sure is not derived until the act of shooting. Shoot ing, as was mentioned, is simply staring at the Sn'un dae. The degree of vicari ous pleasure obtained de pends on the personality make-up of the hunter, but is usually considered inde scribable. Many report that they were unable to stand or walk for several minutes after a good shot. Thi: brings us to the only major drawback to this unusual sport. Often the hunter will return from a success ful hunting trip only to discover that he feels frus trated and distraught. In sufficient research denies me the opportunity of ex plaining these reaction but I feel certain that, will the spreading popularity of the sport, the government will appropriate funds for such study (See I. Need funder's book. "Govern ment Spending on Insig nificants,” Congress Puli lishing Co., 1967). Th only satisfactory remedy which, by the way, was found accidently, seems to be social intercourse cor ceming the day s activitie The importance of thi sport can be realized frori. this article, and also the excitement. I am sure the reader will agree that it is indeed strange that no other author has delt witli the subject properly. Pe haps now that it has broken into print ther will he many competen elaborations by huntei more experienced more proficient in the sport than myself. ©je (JWeror Cluster Editor-in-Chief Associate Editor _ News Editor Business Staff - Managing Editor _ Cartoons Linda McNeal Tom Cau thorn — Marie Aggleson Judy Wichterman Gary Johnson Roger Poston Photographers Bob Johnson, Sonny Lance Circulation Joanne Hoinowski Carol Ison News Staff — Peggy Sullivan, Elijah Lightfoot, Angie Hayes, Chris Notdal, Nancy Andrews, Debbie Hewell, Anna Dixon Betsy Ross, Chuck Jackson Advertising —: Cornelia BenneM Proofreading Judy Wichtermaid, Betsy Ross, Marie Aggleson Typist ,—.— Carolyn Smith Bob Staunton, Judy Irvin; Exec Editors Bobby Phillips, Wright Davii Sports Editor Louis Johnaor Proofreading Claire Jordan, Bob Mauntot Feature Editor Lyndon Maye member Feature Staff Andrea Frost, Debra Rogen Johnny Turner, Tyler Hammett Lochlyn Kenned; Social Editor Jarl Baugl