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THE MERCER CLUSTER
JANUARY », 1973
Graves Are
Often Dug
With Teeth
by Evan Torch
The demise of M.U. Suggs struck me deeply; very deeply; real
deeply (some kind of deep, man). How ironic that a great liberator
should be called to that greatest of bureaucratic dominions, while I, a
mere satirist and anarchist should be left to write scripts for Paul
Harvey and Jack LeLanne. The snatch of Suggs was so quick; so
rapid; real sudden-like. But Suggs has not died in vain Suggs’
mother, Viola Bridgett Tatnall. Suggs, has recently informed me
that the Dark is being cleared not. as everyone had thought. to train,
i lumberjacks for Fickling and Walker l, but in reality the park has
been set aside for...
THE M.U. SUGGS COLLEGE STUDENTS HALL OF FAME
The first five immortals have already been enshrined-they are as
follows :
For Condescending Fakery and General Doings of Greatness for
Humanity
Agnes S. Bolinger, who in four years at Uplift Ollege, managed the
following: Belonged to every known committee and society of repute
(and some lacking repute) at Uplift, while majoring in teaching
seven year olds how to print, and coordinating a campus drive to aid
destitute Gypsies in Nepal. She is also the first person to go through
Uplift without uttering a negaive opinion on any subject whatsoever.
Gassic comment: "Sure Hitler acted mean, but he grew up in a
rough part of Vienna . ”
Award: A.B.F. Skinner dart board.
FOR MOST OVERWHELMING CONCERN
ABOUT MAKE OR BREAK ISSUES
Walt C. Woodsucker, who in two days at the Columbia School of
Broadcasting managed the following:
Organized the students into a massive wave of suicide com
mandos, their first act being to lynch the baseball coach, two maids
and the registrar of the Columbia School of Broadcasting. Wood-
sucker is presently in the neuro-intensive care unit of the Crawford
Long Hospital, after mistakenly crashing a party thrown by the
Ukranian Choreographers Society.
Classic comment: "You’ll have to come through me first."
Award: ‘ An M-48 Patton tank and a bar of soap, which should
repel further attacks by Ukranians.
FOR MOST MAGNIFICENT SHOWMANSHIP
WHILE SUFFERING CRAMPS
Eugene A. Pullov, who in one quarter at the Central Indiana School
for Pre-Professionals accomplished the following:
Set a new indoor record for panicking fellow students by turning in
a crucial test paper exactly seventeen secconds after filling in name.
At no time did candidate ever admit to grade below A-. Became
nationally famous by memorizing the grade point average, to seven
decimal points, of all pre-law students in a six state area.
Gassic comment: “I think I could have aced it, how did you do?”
Award, A year’s supply of strychnine and a knife, engraved with
the McGovern credo, In nedio tutissimus ibis. FOR EXCEPTIONAL
ABILITY AT RECOGNIZING SELF Roosevelt Zbigniew,
wno in me years ai straw in me wina AAM, manaaed the follnwino •
Took seventy-three consecutive courses in Yugoslavian studies.
First person in history of the school to major in “self-discovery".
After spending summer at record-paying $175.00 per week as
assistant to the secretary of the director of financil aid, Zbigniew
became the first student in history of collegiate study to be paid
$500.00 per month for merely attending classes.
Gassic comment: "I demand."
Award: Paid admission to any graduate school.
FOR VALOR IN THE
FACE OF CHANGING TIMES
Susan Belle Gaybank, who in one semester at Our Holy Mother of
the Pines Teacher’s College pulled off the following:
Besides spending a record $2800.00 in one hour at Neiman-Marcus,
buying seventeen college-coed-faded-jeans-and maternity-blouse
uniforms, Gaybank also found time to teach a course on hair
straightening. She was also president of the Pep Gub, Chairman of
Spirit Week, and coordinator of SCOMI (sorority charities of
miniscule importance). She also recently "came out" at the Macon
Peach and Peanut Growers Debutantes Ball.
Gassic comipent: "That was cute" (recently heard during the
afterglow of a moment Byron died trying to describe.
Award: Her bust will be on display at the Suggs Museum.
Land set aside by Bridgett T. Suggs for Hall of Fame.
Letters To The Editor
A Student Outburst
Dear Co-Editors,
I once heard the statement
that, "Mercer is stagnant." I
have recently came to believe
that this is more than just a mere
remark. When the interests of the
students neglected and the
“financial stability" of the
University is sole preoccupation
of the administration, then
Mercer has become a stagnant
pond. When there lacks an un
derstanding upon the ad
ministration of the educational
enrichment value that would be
received Jrom
new insight
course, such as the outdoor
seminar, then I percieve Mercer
as being a stagnant pond. If
Mercer is to stay progressive, we
must keep up with the changes. Martha Ham
Memories are for the past.
tainly a success with all the
participants, myself included,
praising the course highly. In
terviews on thr. Doris Martin
Show testified to this. This year it
is time to move, to expand a good
and successful idea. The interest
in such an experience has grown
considerably since last year.
Mercer has a responsibility to
accommodate this interest.
Why is there to’be'no outdoor
seminar this Spring when 30
students are avidly interested
end why is Mercer not answering
these needs? Can’t I at least know
the reason why my desired form
of education within the system is
denied?
Let’s reconsider.
Bill Keithcart
Dear Co-Editors.
As a prospective student, I was
told that Mercer was in the
business of answering students'
educational needs. I believed this
to be true and this was a large
contributing factor to my coming
to Mercer. y
However, a group of about 30
and it seems some authorities do
not wish to comply with giving
me that. Wake up and take an
interest in what a student wants
to learn!
Pat Nix
Dear Co-Editor:
In view of the present situation
conce ning the out door seminar I
th»\ic it is unfair that the course
should not be in Mercer's
curriculum.
I see no reason why it should be
banned and there should be an
explanation given as to why this
course should not be in our
curriculum.
I always thought that college
was to be a learning experience.
but to see this course dropped
displays that you are not doing
your best to improve the
cirriculum, and to better the
education of your student body
Dear Editor,
I was very disturbed to hear
that the proposed outdoor
seminar was turned down by
Dean Garland F. Taylor.
Although I was not personally Thank-you,
going to participate in the Carmella D’Amelio
program I feel that it is a grave
error on the part of the university
to not allow a program of this
nature to take place. It would
almost seem that we are now
entering an era when the
_ - university -will dictate how a
studenU haw expressed the need teacher will teach his course All
for an outdoor seminar to be the courses that would have been
offered this Spring Quarter. The taught were pre^tly in ^e
program being a bit different curriculum and the teachers had
from or similar to any other already consented to teach them
program in the South has met in the out door setting. Plus I
defeat before it ever got off the think that the interests of
^t Spring a section of EFP, ov^k^afthTv worn X' mi "' S ‘ ration Specifically, the
now app. offered such a course ma" rT.^chThat giv^ ^7 ^ ^
but it was not as progressive or thu J2 . K luesaay and
Dear Co-Editors,
Recently it has come to my
attention that another grave
injustice has been committed in
the academic field here at
Mercer. I believe this action to be
unfair and unjust and am writing
to voice my protest of the matter. .
I am speaking about another
program, a good one, I believe,
being cut down by certain pious
and pompous personages in the
School of Liberal Arts Ad
* not as progressive or
extensive as the proposed out-
Lyndon B. Johnson
Yesterday was the official
national day of mourning for the
36th President of the United
States. Lyndon Baines Johnson,
who died < «n Monday, has already
been placed by many as a weak
President. His acceleration of the
war in Indo-china during the
early part of the last decade has
made him the commonplace
brunt of much of the criticism
that war has drawn even to this
day,
However, we have forgotten
that such legislation as the Gvil
Rights Act of 1964 and in
numerable related measures
would still be lanquishing in
Congress were it not for the
forceful legislative talents and
simple moral engery of President
Johnson. He was a smart,
practical man who knew the
procedures for bringing to pass
what others had only been
qualified to hope for. ’Hie Great
Society and the attitudes which
fostered it may be seen from this
distance as benevolent lies. Yet,
this program credit as ....
duor seminar. Altiwugh limited, “,1 wT^Tbav^
the course last sprmg was cer- education only at the whims and
dictates of those in the Dean's
office. I think we must all con
sider this a disgrace to the
we find it difficult to imagine “ ni * ersit y and look on it as a step
what state Gvil Rights would jj ackward into the regulation of
hold in 1973 were it not for the , ^ one y ears rather than as a
influence and actions of this man.
Despite his conviction that war
could save Southeast Asia and
make it a free set of nations, we
find it difficult to fault Lyndon
Johnson’s entire career. Recall
the support which he had for
these notions at the outset. It is
easy to remember the war and
forget the social legislation. We
fear much of the nation has done
that already.
1 no one can seem to
find out for what reason other
than vaguew h i mon the part of
the Dean.
There is no rational ex
planation in my mind why such a
program should be suppressed
The outdoor seminar, in my
opinion, has bountiful academic
merit, offers its participants rare
and valuable experience, and
promotes maturity mentally,
spiritually, and physically in all
who might be involved.
Again I ask, how can one man
All I can do is hope this school, dictate completely what should
Mercer University, will wake up °r should not be learned? It is not
and look at what a student wants 8°°d or right that this should be
to learn. I have an interest in a done, but it has.
certain program which is being
cut to the bone. I wish to express Sincerely concerned,
doubt now in Mercer. I came here Chris Edwards
to be given a varied education
safe guard
tegrity.
Dear Co-Editors,
academic in-
Dan Hardy
