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CALHOUN TIMES I> I>. FREEMAN, Proprietor. CIRCULATES EXTENSIVELY IN] Gordon and Adjoining Counties. Office n-Wall St., Southwest of Court House. RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION, One Year §2.00 Six Months 100 fdmluU. Western & Atlantic Railroad AND ITS CONNECTIONS. 4 * KEJSJNBSA W RO VTJE” The following takes effect may 23d, 1875 NORTHWARD. No. 1. Leave Atlanta 4.10 r.M Arrive Cart,ersville.... 6.14 Kingston 6.42 “ “ Dalton 8.24 “ “ Chattanooga 10.25 “ No. 3. Leave Atlanta 7.01' a.m Arrive Cartersviile 9.22 „ “ Kingston 9.56 “ “ Dalton 11.54 “ Chat a looga 1.56 r.M No. 11. Leave Atlanta..;;. 3,30 r.M Arrive Cartersviile 7.19 “ “ Kingston 8.21 “ “ Dalton 11.18 “ SOUTHWARD. No. 2. Leave Chattanooga 4.00 r.M Arrive Dalton 5.41 “ “ Kingston 7,28 “ “ Cartersviile 8.12 “ “ Atlanta 10.15 “ No. 4. ] erve Chattanooga 5.00 a.m AV; ive Dalton 7.01 “ “ Kingston 9.07 “ “ Cartersviile 9.42 “ “ Atlanta 12 06 r.M No. 12. I a\ Dalton 1.00 a.m Ari Kingston 4.19 “ ‘ Cartersviile 5.18 “ •• Atlanta 9.20 “ u man Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 2 be e n New Orleans and Baltimore. .01 an Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 4 bet con Atlanta and Nashville. 1 lln an Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and 3 bit . eer Louisville and Atlanta. 1-%, o change of cars between New Or leai •, a ibile, Montgomery, Atlanta and Bal mor , and only one change to New Yor v. P issen irs leaving Atlanta at 410 r. m., arri ein ew York the second afternoon ther after t 4.00. E eursio i tickets to the Virginia springs and variou- summer resorts will be on sale in N w Orb ns, Mobile, Montgomery, Co luml as, Ma on, Savannah, Augusta and At lanta, at gi atly reduced rates, first of June Pa ties des ring a whole car through to i he \ irginia l wrings or Baltimore, should ;• ddiess the i r lersigned. P.t ties coni otplating travel should send 1 nr a copy cf t ve Kcnnesaw Route Gazette, c onto uing sclu lulcs. etc. OUt. B. W. WRENN, GAP. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga. Change of Schedule. 04 T.IE GEORGIA AND MACON AND AUGUS'I V RAILROADS. ON VND AFTER SUNDAY, JUNE 28tii, 18 74, the Passenger Trains on the Georgia urd !\ aeon and /\ngusta Ri&yoads will run as foil ws : GEORGIA RAILROAD. Day Z'af.v tg-tr Train Will L ave Augusta at 8:45 a m Leave Atlanta at 7:00 a m A riv i in Augusta at 3:3(1 p m A Ti\c in Atlanta at 5:15 p m Niggt 1 assenger Train. I ea\e Augusta at 8:15 p m I ea . e Atlanta at 10:30 p m \n ve in Augusta at 8:15 a m Ar. ive in Atlani i at 6:22 a ni MACON AND AUGUSTA RAILROAD. Maco Passenger Train. T eave Auguste at 0n...10:45 a m 1 cave Canuck ,t 2:15 p m Arrive at Ma* on at 6:40 p m Leave Macon at 6:30 a in Arrive at Ca uak at 10:45 a m Arrive at A\ gusta at 2:00 p m BERZE /LI PASSENGER TRAIN. Leave Aug sta at 4;15 p m Leave Ber elia at 8:30 a m Arrive m lugusta at 9;55 a m Arrive in Bcrzelia at 6:50 p m Passen ers frot.i Athens, Washington, At lanta., or any poiut, on the Georgia Rail road and Branches, by taking the Day Pas senger Train, will make close connection at Gama c with trains for Macou. and all points beyond. Pulln an’s (First-Class) Palace sleepiu Cars or all Night Passenger Trains on h Georgi Railroad. S. K. J OJINSON, Superintendent. Nuperi utendent’s Office Georgia and Macon and Augusta Railroads, Augusta, June 29, t 874, 7*?vo UvSiomU k gusuu\s.s (f nvd.s; JJ K. 31 AIN, 31, 13. PRACTICING iPHYSICIAN, Ila Aug permanently located in Calhoun, offer • his professional services to the pub lic. Will attend all calls when - not profes sion lly engaged. Office at the Calhoun Hotel. Special ’ Notice. MISS HUDGINS can now befouud at MRS. MILLS’ FURNISHING ESTABLISHMENT, 51 Broad Street, Rome, Ga., where she is prepared to do Mantua makiug and Cutting in all its branches. Call and see. Mrs, Mills is receiving a full stock of millinery and fancy notions, latest styles felt, straw and velvet hats, cloaks sacks and wraps in endless variety. Everything necessary kept for ladies’ outfit. [sep29-7m. TilIE undersigned have located themselves at t€e JMims Tan-yard, on the Love’s Bridge road, 3J miles from Calhoun, for the purpose of carrying on THE TANNING BUSINESS. They are prepared to receive hides to tan ou shares, or will exchange leather .or hides. They bind themselves to prepare leather in workmanlike style, * WM..HUNTER & SO3. September 1875,’2m, CALHOUN TIMES. Two Dollars a Year. VOL. YI. CHEAPEST AND BEST! iiowAun HYDRAULIC CEMENT! MANUFACTURED NEAR KINGSTON, BARTOW COUNTY, GEORGIA. Equal to the best imported Portland Cement. Send for Circular. Try this before buying elsewhere. Refers by permission to Mr. A. J. West, President of Cherokee Iron Company, Polk county, Georgia, who has built a splendid dam across Cedar Creek, using this cement, and pronouncing it the best he ever used. Also refer to Messrs. Smith , Son & Bro., J. E. Veal, F. I. Stone. J. J. Cohen and Major Tom Berry, Rome, Georgia, Major H. Bry an, of Savannah, T. C. Douglas, Sunerin temlent of Masonry, East River Bridge, New York, Gen. Wm. Mcßae, Superintend ent W. & A. Railroad, Capt. J. Postell, C. E. Address G. 11. WARING, Kingston, Ga octlSl y. I IF YOU would enjoy' the 1 I\TT| raost delightful luxury ; if I/* Vl| jyou would be speedily,cheap- UllililJLr ly, pleasantly and perma nently cured of all Inflam matory, Nervous, Constitu tional and Blood Disorders if you have Rheumatism, Scrofula. Dyspepsia, Bron chitis, Catarrh, Diarrhoea, Dysentery, Piles, Neuralgia, Paralysis, Disease of the Kidneys, Genitals or Skin, Chill and Fever, or other Malarial Affections ; if you would be purified from all Poisons,whether from Drugs or Disease; if you would H. have Beauty, Health and iSil Long Life go to the Hygien ic Institute,and use Nature’s Great Remedies,the Turkish Bath, the “ Water-cure Pro cesses,” the “ Movement cure,” Electricity and other Hygienic agei ts. Success is wonderful—curing all cu rable cases. If not able to go and take board, seftd full account of your case, and get directions for treatment at home. Terms reasona ble. Location, corner Loyd and Wall streets, opposite i\\\m | Passenger Depot, Atlanta. 1 fli * j NQ Stajjjr'ack Wilson, Ph.ysician-in-Charge. Awarded the Highest Medal at Vienna. E. & H. T ANTHONY & CO., 591 IHhmkHvay, Sew York. (Opp. Metropolitan Hotel.) Manufacturers, Importers Sc Deal ers in CHEOMOS AND FRAMES, Stereoscopes and Views, Albums, Graphoscopes an 1 suitable views, Photographic Materials, We are Headquarters for everything in the way of Stereoscopticons and May ic Lanterns . Being manufacturers of the Micro-Scicn t ific Lem tern , Stereo-Pa noptico n , University-Stereoscopt icon, Adveitiser’s Slereoscepticon , A rtopticon , Scholl Lantern , Family Lantern, People's Lantern. Each style being the best of its class in the market. Catalogues of Lanterns and Slides with directions for using sent on application. Any enterprising man can make money with a magic lantern. fit-aTCut out this advertisement for refer ence. Bep29-9m Bride-Layer & Contractor. TITHE undersigned most respectfully begs t leave to inform the citizens of Calhoun and surrounding country that, having pro cured the aid of Mr. Hilburn as a number one bricklayer and Barrey O’Fallen as a number one rock-mason, is prepared to do all work in t is line in the most satisfactory manner and on moderate terms. The pat ronage of the public generally solicited. HENRY M. BILLHLMER. Calhoun, Ga., November 9, 1875. All orders Addressed to me as above will receive prompt attention. novlO-ly LIVERY & SALE STABLE. Good Saddle and Buggy Horse? anti New V ehicles. Horses and mules for sale. Stock fed and cared for. Charges will be reasonable. Will p.y the cash for corn in :he ear and fodder in the bundle. fcb3-tb FIELD, CU7FTV Q FLO WE B,• GARDENS iILUbfKEE,HEDGE,&c We otter our usual large and complete as sortment, embracing the most desirable va rieties and of best quality, and mail price list to any address on receipt, ot stamp. Si eds of all kinds by 7 acket, ounce, nmu i, and quart, can be sent by mail to any post office in the United States. EDWARD J. EVANS & CO., Nurserymen and Seedsmen. Jun29-lmo, Yobk, Fa. CALIIOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY" 2, IS7G. GOING TO SCHOOL. Oh, the going to school in my 7 girlhood, In the little red schoolhouse so low ! By the flower-sprinkled path way in Sum mer. In winter o’er crisp-drifted snow. Oh, the freedom from care and from Doub le ! There’s to learning no royal road, Yet the old-fashioned country children Their way right royally trode. llow brimful of fun and frolic. As well of study were to me ! My schoolmates—black haired, brown and golden Mcm’ry faithful pictures to me. How we played on the grass ’neath the ma pies, In the noonings, or down the green lane Went in search of such berries delicious As we never sha.l gather again ! How we doubted the wisdom of teachers, Nor grew quite as wise as we might, Our eyes from the page playing truant, To the clover-field blossoming bright. When four o’clock came—Oh, how wel come ! Farewell then to lesson and book, llow often we lingered home going To lave our brown feet in the brook ! Oh. how well rememl ered the school-room, The desks and the benches so high The windows, all guiltless of shutters, Ah w<ll! but those days have gone by. \eseven the red schoolhouse has vanished ; At the new one ’neath the sheltering trees There is teaching, with ‘‘modern improve ments ” Were the former times better than these ?1 And my schoolmates, lik~ autumn leaves scattered, And some of them—lying as low, Beneath costly tribute of marble; Over some the forget-me-nots grow. And the living, the lab’ring, the loving, The hands and the hearts that are full— We are learning full many a lesson We are scholars still going to school. And when the long school day is finished, “ Life’s sun sinking low in the west,” Glad children, with hope undiminished, , May we seek our home joys and home rest. If we linger awhile by tl e wayside, We’ll still keep sweet home in fair sight At the gate, with “we’ll meet in the morn-, ing,” Sweetly bid our companions “ Good night.” Why YossngjlLali<‘s DressExtrav* agantly. Goins down town recently, we chanc ed to walk a short distance behind tvva s'ylish young gentlemen and overheard one gentleman say to the other, “ well troi! her ou t this evening and lot’s see her rags, and I’ll tell you what I think of her.” F.'egant language from young gentle men who consider themselves respecta ble ; and complimentary to young ladies who think themselves respectable. These same young men no doubt be. long to that class who can no\ afford to marry because the girls are so extrava gant ; they will dress in the fashion, and tiiat costs more than the majority of the young men can afford. But whose fault is it that •they spend all their time training and frizzing ? If one of them thought best to wear last year’s hat or mantel would she go to an ope ra, concert or party ? Not once in the season, and she knows it. Every once in a while we read a very entertaining article on the character istics ol the young ladies el different cities, ail as true as fiction, of course, and we remember of reading once such an article, in which an editor, since no torious in other cities, paid the follow ing high compliment to Kansas City girls: “They do not affect any partic ular sty'e of young men, but judge ail by their brain and r ossibilitms.” We fear that it might be said with more truth of the young men of all cities nowadays, that they do not effect a part cuiar style of yuung Ladies and judge all by their dress and its probable i cost. 'J > be sure the young man has a con science and a heart, which may twinge a little, while he escorts the most hand*, some young lady on the street, if there chanced to be somewhere cdse a little maiden whom some day to sew on his buttons, and whose papa is not worth §50,0 0 ; but then he must have his amusement, and it would be anything but pleasure for him to gal lant a young lady who was not just in style. Don’t blame the girls too much for their extravagance and waste of time, until you look about and see whose fault it is. For dressing beyond their means is one of the many evils now se riously affecting the people in couutry to Aiis and cities, crying loudly for re form and contraction. If the young men dress fine and costly, it is to please the ladies ; and if the ladies dress ex 'ravagantly, it is to please the men. — Let both take a sensible, reasonable view of the subject,dress with reference to taste and circumstances, not aping or following those who, out living their income, dress extravagantly for the sake of display. Our people need to be care ful, and the quicker they bestow more sense and reflection on inis subject, the better for all concerned. A Recite for Making Scandal. -—Take a grain of falsehood, a handful of rut about, the same quantity of nib bletongue, a sprig of the herb backbite, a teaspoonful of don’t-you tell-it, six drams ot malice, and a few drops ot envy Stir well together and simmer half an hour. Add a little discontent and jealousy, then stra n through a bag of misconstruction, cork it up in abut tie of malevolence, anu hang i„ upon a skein of street yarn. Shake it occa" sioually for a few days, and it will be fit for use. Let a few drops be taken before walking out, and the desired re sult will follow. •‘Truth Conquers All Things.’ ANDREW JOUYSO.VS WIFE. The Career of a Faithful and Devoted W ife v ho Honored her Husband. Washington, Jan. 17. —The widow of exsl’resider.t Andrew Johnson has survived her husband but a few months We have not a living ex-President at this time, but there are even yet three surviving widows of ex-Presidents— Mrs. x\braham Lincoln, Mrs. John Ty ler, and Mrs James K. Polk, whose husband was President thirty years ago. Mrs. Johnson, who died at Greenville, Tenn., has been a patient sufferer for many loug years, including those wears when she was the occupant of the White House; and since the death of her husband, in August last, she had been sinking till her life closed on Sat urday last. She was four yeais younger than her husband, and had, therefore, just reached the age of sixty-six years. Her maiden name was Miss Eliza mcCardle, an 1 she was an attractive damsel, when in her seventeenth year, She was wooed and won in her tfioun tain home by the poor but ambitious young tailor of Greenville, v ho was not yet twenty-one. She was a bright young woman, who had obtained §,uch education as was afforded by the schools of the day in that part of the country; tud there is no doubt that Andrew John on who felt the superiority of her ac quirements, was largely indebted to her for that mental stimulus which led him into those studies which he pursued ■with such assiduity from the period of their marriage. It is stated that the youthful couple used to study together fai into the night, when the rest of the vilagers were asleep ; that she was in the habit of reading aloud to him while he worked away at his trade of tailor> ing; that she aided him to read fluent ly, and that she guided his hand while he struggled to acquire the art of wri l ting. It is often said she taught him the alphabet; but this is a mistake; for though he was never at school, he had pushed beyond that stage of learning before he left North Carolina for Tenn.- essee. She was to him a most excel lent and gentle housewife, as well as a teacher of indefatigable zeal, while at the same time the displays tde best practical capacity in her ways of life and in the ordering of their little house hold. In still other ways she assisted him, and his early popularity in Green ville was largely qvving to the frankness ad amiability of her intercourses with the people of the village. We have heard of her modest pride when Mr. Johnson, a few years after their marri* age, received that first public honor up on which he himself was so fond of di lating, in his election to Alderman.— Their home was gladdened by little children, and her husband’s fame was increased until he wore the lautels of Mayoralty. During these years, as through all the subsequent years of her life, she herself was of the most retir ing disposition, and always avoided any thing that might bring her into any sort of publicity, saying to women of more ambition that her enjoyment was in her home, witfi her children, practi cing the economy rendered necessary by her husband’s slender means. When Mr. Johnson went to Nashville as a member of the Tennessee Legislature, she remained at Greenville in charge of their household ; and even when he be came Governor of the State, she con tinued to maintain that degree of domestic privacy which was uiosc congenial to her nature. In the spring of 1861, when Mr Johnson was a Federal Senator, just before the out break of the war, she removed to Washington ; but afVr a short residence there with her husband, she had to re turn to Tennessee on account of her health, She was there, and he was in Washington, when the war began ; and, as he could not enter Tenne-se, which was then a member of the Confederacy, and she could not leave the State by reason of ill health, they were separated from each other for nearly two years.— Her experiences during this period were of a trying kind. Ig 1862 the Con federate authorities required her to leave the Confederacy, but they did not en force the order upon learning he'* con dition. Some months afterward she was so disturbed over the reports about her husband that she asked permission to leave, which was granted; but it was only after many set backs, many troubles, and much hard journeying, that the feeeble woman at last reached Nashville, where her husband was in stalled as military Governor of Tennes see. His emotion on meeting his suK fering wife, after their long separation, amid the stormy scenes of war, over came him, aud were relieved by a pro- 7 fusion of tears. In a short time, her mother’s heart was pierced by the death of her eldest sou, who had just been appointed an army sergeon, and was instantly killed by being thrown from his horse. When Mr. Johnson went on from hville to Washington in 1865, to enter on office of Vice President, lie made preparations ior .u removal of his wife to Greenville ; but before Ke hud been able to accompany her there, the assassination of Mr. Lincoln induc ed him to change h s plaus, and take her to the new residence in the White House, to which he had been so unex pectedly called. There she remained with him during the four stormy years of his Presidency as a confirmed inva lid. She never appeared in Washing ington society, was know to but a small circle of acquaintances, and was only on rare occasions met by a few of the friends who made visits to the White House. She was last seen, and ain" abode there, at a party given to her grandchildren, when she was unable to rise from her chair. Her daughter, Mrs. Patterson, W‘s happily able to re lieve her from the duties of the house hold and of society. “We are plain peo ple,” said she, “from the mountains of Tennessee, and I-trust too much will not be expected of us here.” When President Johnsou’s Presiden tial term expired, his wife gladly return ed with him to their home in Green ville, and there she lived till his death last August, after which she took up her residence with her daughter, f.t whose house she died. When the ex-President, after four years of retirement from political life, returned to Washington, in March of last year, as Senator from Tennessee, his wife was unable to accompany him, and had no hope of ever more leaving her solitary home. If Mrs. Johnson had been as well able to act as the advisor and guide of her husband during the last part of her life as she was during the first part of it, he might have been saved from some of the errors into which lie fell. But, from first to last, she was to him a wife whom he always loved, who possessed the most amiable traits of character, who exemplified all the domestic vir tues, who assisted him in entering and aided him in pursuing the paths that led to eminence, who bore her suffer* ings in patience and resignation, and who lived a life that will make her honorably remembered among American women. — 44 Let not the Nun Go Down upoii \oi!i’ Wrath. It was a beautiful custom which is said once to have prevailed among the Alpine shepherds, as they were scatter ed about among the hills and Rlens of offering up, simultaneously, at sunset each day; an ascription of praise to God. Someone low in the valley, as the sun disappeared, would start the strain which would be caught by an other and another, until every crag and rock and deep lavine would mingle their echoes with the music of human voices. The old man leaning upon his crook —the ruddy young shepherdess with her apron lull of flowers, and the young shepherd with his harp, all joined their voices, while the very flocks seemed to understand this signal for their return to the hamlet. Such a scene must have boon pleasant to wit ness, but not more so than that spread out before the spirit world, if every one would enter upon the literal practice of this precept —“ Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” If, as the setting sun is gilding the hdl tops with his ja. ting beams, and the light of day is lading into the dimness of twilight, every person, from the man who holds the sceptre of dominion to the humblest beggar, would pause a moment and see what traces the day’s jarring scenes have left upon his spirit. Has the treacherj ol a friend or the successful assault of an enemy upon property or reputation—the entrapment of the wick ed and the development of selfishness in its most hateful forms, flashed his eye with anger and quickened the blood in his veins ; have they caused his burning hate to swell his bosom while rash words have broken from his lips? Then let the injured one pause and commune with his own spirit—let him search every recess there and see if an> ger and hatred and revenge have still a lurking place. He should not, indeed, hope to find complacence in view of wrong, but a sincere regard for the best interests of the offender and a wish to do him good. An Original Lover. We find in a recent novel a mode of “popping the question,” so singular in its way it is worth preserving: Miss George answers a tap at the iront door, 1 and her lover, Mr. Fleetwood, proves to l be the visitor. “ Miss George, I’ve come ou an errand that makes me ner vous. I’ve walked up to your door three times to night before I dared to knock, and now I’ve got in I’ve hardly cour age to say what 1 want to say. The fact is, when a man has got a favor to ask, he doesn’t know well how to begin, j especially if he’s a man of few words.” Here Mr. Fleetwood stopped and an ; awkward pause ensued. “I’m sure if there is any favor we j can do you we shall only be too glad to j to oblige so kind a friend,” I began ; j “I can never feel grateful enough for all j —” ‘Stop, or you’ll be saying more than ; you may wish. There is something you j can and mething that will repay me j a thousand times over, and make me j the happiest man alive. You'll think me very abrupt, I’m afraid ; but I want to know if you'll marry me? i'll make you a good aud faithful hnsband. | God’s help, if you’ll have me. w‘° j Th re, I’ve done it ng v * p,‘ n a pretty j mesa I’ve made 1 , h ? d set ! down and covered my Lee with my hands, aud I'm afrald 1 was b =S' umn S to son. It bid come upon me so sud denly. “I oughtn’t to have blurted it out like that,” said Mr. Fleetwood, in an uneasy voice. “I hope you are not offended with me ? I was still silent, j But it was from emotion, not anger or i indifference. “If you wish me to go, sit as you sit now, with your face turn ed from me, but if you find it hard to say the word I want to hear, just lift up tlie bit of seaweedthere on the table by your side, amfl’Slknow what you mean Dorothv.” The jfroriD uttered in a voice of feeling. i v .^^. ed U P the manly, modest-Asay whetiii 4 °' e f UK ’ an d —or not, UfteJ Suit-water Fishes. The Codfish is the child of the oshun. This ackounts for their being so salt. 'J hey are kaught with a hook and line, and bite like a steel-trap, and hang on like a poor relashun. They are poor eating for a wel day ; they are hotter than an umbrella to keep a man dry. Dried codfish is one of t'’e luxurys of life, but codfish three times a day would weaken my confidence in them. Codfish never venture in fresh water, they would spile it if they did. I never have been codfishiug myself, but think I should like it better than fishing for frogs. I think 1 could catch frogs well enuff, but I should insist upon their taking themselves off the hook. I had rather take a boss bumble-bee in mi hand than a live frog, not be kause I am afraid the frog would bite, but I am ov their kicking. Sum people ain’t afraid to take any'* thing with their hands that they kan reach, not even an eel, but if i should over git kaught by an eel if I couldn’t settle with him right off, by giving him the hook and line, I would throw the pole into the bargain and put for home. The codfish iz sod tew be an aristo-> crat, and to keep aloof fruui the other fish ov hiz size in the sea, and claims to be a relation ov the whales, but this looks to me rather fishy. I have noticed that the codfish al wuz had a stiff upper lip, but I think this iz owing more tew the bone that iz in him than it iz tew his blood. The Mackerel is a game fish. They ought to be well edukated, for they an al wus in schools. They ain’t the only kind of fish that are kaught by the same kind of b.*it. Maekrel inhabit the sea, but those which inhabit the grocerys olwuz tast> ed to me r.z tho they had been born and fatted on salt. They want a good deal of freshning before they are eaten, and they want a good deal of freshening afterward. If I can have plenty ov mack re! for breakfast, I kan generally make the other two meals out ov cold water. Maekrel are considered bi menny folks the best fish that swims and are kalled the salt of the earth. —Josh Bil> lings. Mr. Smith's Character, by His W il*e. “ What a quiet man your husband is, Mrs. Smith," “ Quiet ! A snail is an “ express train "to him. If the top of the house should blow off, he’d just sit still and spread his umbrella. He’s a regular pussy cat; comes to the front door as though the entry was paved with eggs and sits down on his chair as if there was a nest of kittens under the cushion. He’ll be the death of me yet ! I road him all the horrid accidents, dreadful collisions, murdere and explosions, and he takes it just as easy as if I was saying the ten commandments. He’s never astonished or startled or delight ed. If a cannon ball should pass through the window, he wouldn’t move an eyelash If I should make the voy age of the world and return some fine day, he’d take off his spectacles, put them in the case, fold up the newspa per, and settle himself, before he would be ready to say, ‘ Good morning Mrs. Smith.’ If he’s born a poppy, he could not be more soporific. I wonder if all the Smiths are like him ? When Adam got tired of naming his numerous de- said : 11 Let all the rest be called Smith !’ Well, I don’t care for that, but lie ought to have known bet ter th;jn to call rr;y husband Abel Smith. Do you suppose it I were a man, I’d let a woman supprot me ‘l — do you think Abel’s coats and cravats, and canes and eigars comes from ? Out of my brain ! It’s perfect ly refreshing to nm to hear of a comet, or see a locomotive, or to look at a streak of lightning. I tell you he’s the expressed essence of chloroform." Tlie Model Minister. He never exchanges. It is not particular whether he occupies a fourstory house or a ten-duo er lor a jmrsonage. Con siders “ donation parties” an invention of the adversary ; preaches round aud round the commandments in such a way as not to hit the peeuliaristics of any of his parishioners. Selects the hymns to suit the singing choir instead of him self; never forgets when in excited de bate, that pulpit cushiuns are expensive articles. Visits all hispp-“ Ale\ le on^ e a month, and receives-.*^ lr '’ iSltß w‘ieQ ever they choc..- *® "A I *, > br ' Js forth thins- "new anti old every Suo day more particularly, new. Knows p v ;,,>ottiou, at a funerel, the state of mind of every distant relative of tho deceased, an l always hits the right nail on the head in \n< prayer. When ho baptizes a girl, never afflicts the anxious mother by pronouncing Louisa, LouU zy ! Frowns upon Ml attempts to get him u new cloak, looks upon “bronch itis, throat complaint,” and “journeys to Kurope,” as modern humbugs; never wears a bettor coat than any of his pas rishioners. Submits his private personal expense to a committee of the greatest dunder heads in his congregation ; has the eloquence of Haul—the wisdom of Solomon —the patience of Job—the meekness of Moses—the constitution of an efephant—and—hives on two hun dred dollars a year ! How the family has grown ! Three millions in 1771> —forty-four millions in 187 ti ! Uncle Sam will Lave to pnt an othe- <I L” on pretty soon. lii Advance. NO. 24. Kates of Advertising. fsT* For each square of ten lines or less for the first insertion, sl, and for each sub sequent insertion, fifty cents. No.Sq’rs | T Mo. j l* Mos. | 0 Mop j 1 year. Two ~ ~sLdol tfT.Otn $ 12.00 ns-<7.6(> Four “ 0.00 10.00 | 18.00 35.00 \ column 9. 15.00 25.00 40.0 C t “ 15.00 25.00 40.00 05.00 I “ 25.00 40-00 65.00 115.00 Sheriff s Sales, eacli 1evy..... f>4 00 Application for Homestead 2 30' Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4 00 Land Sales, one square 4 00 Each additional square 3 00 “I Don’t Caro.” Now, don’t say you don’t care, be* cause you do. Fot who else tvould you wear that shining knet of blue ribbon-* the color he likes so well? and the very little keepsake Of red coral that fairly flutters upon that white muslin ? If you do At care, hie away to moths er’s room ; there is plenty to do there. Your guitar stands neglected ; the white pearl buttons, gems,]stud the glitter ing foil in your neat work-basket, and the patient bosom is waiting the aid of your fairy fingers to sew them on. There is the book with the leaf folded down where you lefi off at dark. Farther sits in his accustomed placed, very willing to hear your voice, and sighing some times when he thinks how soon it may warble in another home. But no ; you have been thinking of father and mother for eighteen long years, and love has let down gently be fore them, the face, the night 1 “I eon’t care." But yes, you do care. Taking quick marches between the glass and window, sitting down for a moment and playing pettish music with your loot, springing up with rosy blushes at every footstep, (even at old black Cato’s) fancying’ it may bo him ; does that look as if you don’t care ? Rather questionable symp toms. “Should think he might come.’ So should I. lie ought to come ;ho if he knew what a little le ver of expectation you was in. Mould perhaps fall right on his knees, though if he does, reject him, for he can not have a manly excuse. Could he only see you now ! For there you staud looking so wisN fully down towards that little white laU tice gate, watching how the moonbeams drink the crimson from the rosea, Never heeding the low be wildering music of the willow dulcimer* or the floating sprays that fau the wild flowers to sleep. “I don’t care !” Truly spoken that time. The water of the river gleam" beyond like a vesled mass of silver, and now and then a transitory lustre flashes athwart the Leavens. A star shoots. Quick ! the wish thrice repeated, as you watch it falliug, that he may come soon. Oh, how straige that the glories of heaven and the beauties of the earth should all be made subservient to that young hear’t first love. A shadow falls on the white path : a tall, manly form stoops to the ol the little gate. lie is coming—he has come. And there you sit, looking so unconcerned and proper, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to ex pect him just then. The song that you“ couldn’t sing” for father is repeated at his request. Ah ! naughty child naughty child ; but loving woman, for all that. The Debt to mother. Mothers live for their children make self-sacrifices for thorn, and manifest their tenderness and love so freely that the name, Mother, is the sweetest rname in the human language. And yet sons, youthful and aged, know but little of the anxiety, nights of sleepless] and painful solicitude which their, mother have spent over their thoughtless way wardness. Those]loving hearts go down in their graves with those hours of se cret agony untold. As the mother watches by night, or prays in the pri vacy of her closet, she weights well the words which she will address her son in order to lead him to a mannot of honor and usefulness, She will not tell him all her griefs fears which beset her soul. She warns him with trembling, lest she say overmorc. She tries to charm him with cheery love whilo her hearts is bleeding* No worthy and successful man ever yet knew the breadth and depth of the great obligation which he is under to the uio ther who guided his steps at the time when his character for virtue and puri ty was so narrowly balanced against a course of vice and ignomhiy. Let the dutiful son do his utmost to smootn hia mother's pathway, let him obey as”ini plicitly a3 ho can her wishes and advice, him omit nothing that will contribute to her peace, rest and happiness, and yet he will part with her, -at the tomb with his debt to her not discharged* Clef, for Intemperance. — A morbid appetite for strong drink is undoubtly a difficult enemy even fur to contend *.3v. Total abstinence) and the Almighty arm are the two sure helps to overcome and destroy it. Wo give however, for what it may be worth, the following, prescribed by an emineub physician for John Vine Hall, comman der of the Givat Eastern steamship, and said to have been very useful in his case : Sulphate of iron, five grains : magnesia, peppermint water, eleven drams; spirit of nutmeg, orre dram : twice a day. es,” said he, dreamily, “we are al ways striving for a subjective goal.— Unconsciously, it may be, but still wo strive. We loan over the verge of the infinite longiug to grasp its mysteries, and lost in the profundities of its immen sity.“Yes,,’ she replied thoughtful ly. “But, John, would you mind my putting a brown patch on the seat of these old black pants of yours ■■■ ♦ Tue Womans’ Journal advises girls to take none but healthy husbands, whereupon a bachelor editur suggest that “they’d better take what they eau get.''