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CALHOUN TIMES D. B. FREEMAN, I’rop^kiar^ CIRCULATES EXTENSIVELY IN Gordon aft] Adjoining Counties. Office: Wall Si., Southwest of Court House. RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION. H.e Year $2.00 . >ix Months 1.00 Railroad icUcrtuU. Western* Atlantic Railroad AND ITS CONNECTIONS. ♦ • KENNESA W HO UTE” The following takcVelrb.it mav 23d,’ 1875 NORTHWARD. “ No. 1. Leave Atlanta 4.10 r..\i Arrive Cnriersville 6.11 •* •< Kingston 6.42 “ “ Dalton 8.21 “ “ Chattanooga 10.25 “ No. 3 Leave Atlanta 7.00 a.m Arrive Cartersviilc 9.22 ~ " Kingston....,,,. 9.56 •* “ Dalton ~,...,..,.,11.64 “ Chattan00ga.,,.,,,,..,.., 1.56 p.m No. 11. Leave Atlanta • ****•**%•***4 %%. 3,30 p.m Arrive Cartersville 7.19 “ “ Kingston. 8,21 “ “ Dalton ~....,11.18 “ SOUTHWARD. No. 2. .enve Chattanooga..,. 4.00 p.m \rrive Dalton 5.41 “ “ Kingston 7.28 “ “ Cartersville.. 8.12 “ “ Atlanta ~.,,,, 10 15 “ No. 4. 1 e vo Chattanooga 5.00 a.m 2ri ive Dalton,,.. 7.01 “ “ Kingston 9.07 “ “ Cartersrille.,,, 9.42 “ Atlanta ~.12 06 p.m No. 12. I a\e Dalton ~, 1.00 a.m Ari e Kingston..,, 4.19 '• 4 Cartersville 518 “ Atlanta 9.20 “ nil nan Palace Cars run on Nos. I arul 2 be /ee i New Orleans and Baltimore. I oilman Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 4 bet eon Atlanta and Nashville. I dim in Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and 3 bit .ecr Louisville and Atlanta. 15a),„ No change of cars between New Or ient i, ,\ ibile, Montgomery. Atlanta and Bal more, and only one change to New Yor .. P sseng *rs leaving Atlanta at 4 10 P. m., nrri c in New York the second afternoon tlier after at 4.00. E eursii n tickets to the Virginia springs and various summer resot ts will be on sale in N w Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery, Co lutnl ms, Mac >n, Savannah, Augusta and At lante. at gicatly reduced rates, first ol June Pa dies desiring a whole ear through te *>e \ irginia S >rin<rs or Baltimore, should a Mr ss the un lersigned. Pa ties contemplating travel should send fir a copy of the Kennesaw Route Gazette, c >nta nirig sche lules, etc. . Ask for Ticket-* ,'a “ Kennesnw i outi ” B. IV. WRENN. G. P. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga. Change of Schedule. THE GEORGIA AND MACON AND AUGI SI A RAILROADS. ON \ND AFT Eli SUNDAY, JUNE 28th. f 71. tit > Passenger Trains on the Georgia •rd Macon and Augusta Railroads will run as foil w- : GEORGIA RAILROAD. Ihvj Paste (jer Train Will f< ave Augusta at.. 8 i5 a m L ave Atlanta at 7:00 a m A riv > in Augusta at 3:60 p rn A rive in Atlanta at 5:15 p m N'ugt P (ssenjcr Train. 1 e:i'e Augusta at 8:15 p m I ea>e Atlanta at IOR’O p n .n vc in Angus a at 8;io a m Ar. ive in Atlant at r :22 an HA CON AND AUGUSTA RAILROAD. Macon Passcnjcr Train. leave Augur’ at 0n...10:45 a m 1 eave Carnal, at 2:1 u p m Arrive at Macon at <‘:4o p m Heave Macon at 6:60 a in Arrive at Camak at Ith 15 a m Arrive at Augusta at 2:00 p tn BERZEI 1.1 PASSENGER TRAIN. Leave Augusta at 4:15 p m Leave Berz.dia at 8:30 a m Arrive n lugusta at 9:55 a m Arrive in Berzelia at 5:50 p m Passengers from Athens, Washington, At lanta, or my point on tiie Georgia Rail road and Branches, by taking the Day Pas senger Train, will make close connection at Camak with trains for \Rcoi and al points beyond. Pullman s (First Cl iss) Palace sleepin Cars on all Nigh: Passenger Trains on G corgi Railroad. S. 1\ JO IIXS OX. Superintendent . Superintendent's Office Georgia and Macon aril Augusta Railroads, Augusta, Jure 29. 1874, t’rofcssiomit & business tftmts. ■ —a TANARUS“ . .. -a l j K. MAIN, M. I>. PR/CTICING PHYSICIAN, Ila ing permanently located in Calhoun, oiler.-' his professional services to the pub lic. Vill attend all calls when not profes sion lly engaged. Office at the Calhoun Hot 1. T I). TINSLEY, • Watch-Maker & Jeweler, CALHOUN, CA. All styles of Clocks, Watches and Jewelry tioatl v repaired and warranted. Tlie Great CARROLLTON lilllTH BY — Drs. Graves ami Ditzler. 1~ RTIS is the ablest, grandest and most learned discussion of the age. Botli s >des of the great denominational issues be- Dvoenthe Methodists and Baptists have been Gioroughly and well presented by these great masters No such valuable book on Giese subjects has ever been presented to f he American people. It is a largo octavo volume, printed on fine paper, about 900 I'ages. Bound in cloth $3 50 Bound in sheep 4 00 Subscriptions Soiici A. W. C, LUTHER, J. H. TATUM, •Agents for Bartow and Gor lon coun ie-A A. 8. TATUM, Awi taut. m-' , 2 -4t Two Dollars a Year, VOe. VI. CHEAPEST ANI) BEST! HOWARD IllllltUl-IC HIST! MANUFACTURED NEAR KINGSTON, BARTOW COUNTY, GEORGIA. Equal to ihe best imported Portland Cement. Send fur Circular. Try this before buying elseichcre. Refers by permission to Mr. A. J. West President of Cherokee Iron Company, Polk county, Georgia, who has built a splendid dam across Cedar Creek, using this cement, and pronouncing it tlie best he ever used. Also refer to Messrs. Smith , Son & 15r0., .1. E. Veal, F. I. Stone. J. J. Cohen and Major Tom Berry, Rome, Georgia, Major 11. Bry an, of Savannah. T. C. Douglas, ftnnerin tpndent of Masonry, East River Bridge, New York, Gen. Wm, Mcßae, Superintend ent W. & A. Railroad, Capt. J. Pest ell, C. E. Address G. 11. WARING, Kingston, Ga octl3l y. Hygienic Institute ! ' IF YOU would enjoy the fill lllTfl moßt delightful luxury; it ■ ill /I Vll Jyou would be speedily,cheap- UiHlj.ll/ )y, pleasantly and perma jnemfly cured of all Inflam j uatory, Nervous Constitu .onal and Blue Disorders if you have Rheumatism, Scrofula. Dyspepsia, Bron chitis, Catarrh, Diarrhoea, Dysentery, Piles, Neuralgia. Paralysis, Disease of the Kidneys, Genitals or Skin. Chill aid Fever, or other lMalarial Affections ; if you | would be purified from all Poisons,whether from Drugs or Disease; if you would mrnv. i ' lilVe Beauty, Health and I § ;8| . I Nil Long Life go to the Dygien- I. jic Institute,and use Nature’s Great Remedies,!he Turkish [Bath, tlie “ Water-cure Pro *cesses,” tle “ Movenient cure,” Electricity and other Hygienic agei fs. Success is wonderful—curing all cu rable cases. If not able to go and take board, send full account of your case, and get directions for treatment at home. Terms veasona Lie. Location, corner Loyd and Wall streets, opposite fl Imn | jpuFsonger Depot, Atlanta. j NO Btmmj.vck Wit,o v , i Physician-in-Charge. Awarded the Highest Medal at Vienna E. & 11. T ANTHONY & CO., 75 ;4! Broadway, \ew York. (Opp. Metropolitan Hotel.) JYicnufacturers, Importers & Deal ers in CHROMOS AND FRAMES. Stereoscopes and Views, \lbuniß, Graphoscopcs an ! suitable views, Phot ogra pli i c M liter inis. tVe are Headquarters fo • everything in the way of Stereoscopf icons end Alat/ic Lanterns, Being manufacturers of the . Micro - Sc icn t ife Lon fern , Stereo-1 \tnoj it icon , L n {versify Stereoscopf, con , A l l re it inert' S'ercoscojittcon. 4 rtopticon , Schojl Lantern. Family Lantern , People's Ijnntern. Each style being the best of its class in the mark et. Catalogues of Lanterns and Slides wi'h lircetions for using sent on application. Any enterprising man can make money with a magic lantern, wgf (,’ut out this advertisement for refer ence sop29-0m Brick-Layer & Contractor. rjUIE undersigned most respectfully begs 1 leave to inform the citizens of Calhoun a.id surrounding country that, having pro cured tlie aid of Mr. Ililburn as a number one bricklayer and Barrey o’Fallon as a number one rock-maso \ is prepared to do all work in t is line in tlie n ost satisfactory manner and on moderate terms. The pat ronage of the public cencrnlly solicited. IIENRY M. BJLLHIMER. Calhoun, Ga., November 9, 1875. All orders addressed to me as above wil receive prompt attcn*ion. novlO-ly LIIBRI i Sllft STABLE. A <v. Z-O-i. Good Saddle and Buj?gy Horse? and Nov. YcHides- Morses and mules for sale. Stock fed and cared for. Charges will be reasonable AY ill p y the cash for corn in Hie ear and 'odder in tlie bundle. feb3-th Georgia, Gordon ( tuid | IT7IIEREHS S. IV T . Robbins cxecut.-e < W Jeremiah Robbins represent <. court in his petition, duly filed and c on record that he has fully adm Jeremiah Robbins’ cs'ate. This tin; fore to cite a!l persons concerned, kindi and ci editors.to show cause if any hey cm why said executor should not bed charg from his executorship and receive letters o dismission on tl e first J/onnay iu July next. This „4pril Ist 1876. D. W, NEEL, Ordinary. CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12, 1876. WINE'S WOHK. OR W hat ( ante of a Broken Prom ise. ‘‘ Protii!'se me, CharlLs:” She was leaning playfully over the back ol his chair, looking down into his face. By “she” I mean Mrs. Gale and “Charlie” was her husbaud. He had settled himself for a quiet after dinner cigar. But Mrs. Gale has mischievous ly snatched it from his hand, threaten ing to withhold it till he gave her O'e desired promise And now she had laid one band caressingly on his forehead, and stealing the other under his chin she looked archly yet half earnestly down into the dark deep of his eyes, as she repeated : “ Promise me, Charlie. Now do, that’s a dear !” “ Nonsense, Virginia,” and he 1 1 i and to put her hand away. “Oh. Charlie,’’ reproachfully. “ Pshaw, do let me go. You’ll chok me, ’ be said half impatiently. “ And so [ will,” she cried, “ if you do not promise me, this very minute not to drink a ything stronger than pure cold water at Uncle Logan’s party to night.” “ Tea, yes, yes ! There, now, I hope Pve promised often enough to satisfy you.” “ On your honor.” “ Certainly.” “Oh. sir, 1 thought I could bring you to terms. Recollect you have said on your honor.” • And then, while her face grow ear nest in its pleasing expression, she add ed : “Oh, Charlie you do no' km vv how anxious 1 have felt about th ; s par ty ever since we decided to go. They always have such a gay time at Uncle Logan’s. And you know, dear, that you would not do a wrong tiling your self, how easy it is for your couipani ms :o make you go too far, because you are a dear, void atured. fellow. But now that you have promised me I feel quite easy. And, dear, don’t forget when the young men begin to get too gay, come up stairs to me and baby.” And he promised Going out to an evening party at Un, ele Logan’s was no small affair, consid ering that it was a good five mile ri ! e from Glendale, out into the country over roads with Maple river—swolen by re„ cent rains—to be crossed. For this was in a remote and secluded part distant from at:y railroad, and with no town near where a vehicle might be obtained Beside, \ irginia Gate was a first-rate horseman, and feared nothing on her account. That she was rhus rather rash and foolhardy, will appear from the fact that she had resolved to encumber bet self with a burden, though of a very interesting kind Lights were glimmering from the windows as they rode up to Uncle Ln* gan’s gate ; and the number of horses and vehicles already congregated around it showed that the invited guests of the Christinas eve party were already be* .inning to drop m. Aunt Lizzie came out to the door to meet them, and took the sleeping babe from Virgie’s poor tired arms. “ Retnembej, Charlie,” she said ini ploring'y laying her hand upon bis .'.boulder as they were on the point of separating—she for Aunt Lizzie's com> fortable room above stairs—he fur the society of his boon companions. “Never fear uie!” x\nd be went gai ly away. Alas ! for the promise made to the fond credulous wife, sitting up stairs in the quiet matronly circle, with her babe on her knee. Iu less than half an hour Charles Gale had forgotten his promise, wife, child everything; and again and again his glass was filled, arid his voice raised in riotous chorus with the Rudest. diu: night waned, the guests began to disperse A irgie sat in the dressing oom all ready for the tide, holding in her lap what seemed to be a large b n die of shawls, but which was in reality little Charlie, who lay curled up -n hi.-, warm rioH fast asleep with one little fat thumb in his mouth. ‘ l I wonder what makes Charlie so late,” she said at last impatiently. “Aunt Lizzie will you p'ease send fur him, and say I’m waiting?” He came at length. But the first wrd he spoke told lu r all. She knew at once he was iutoxicated, though to others only a very slight excitement was all chat appeared unusual about him. Oh! the shame! She hardly dared speab to him. A'l her thoughts'was to get him away before be betrayed bis condition to other eyes “ Give me the child,” he said. And as she did so, she * ,in t his arm wa> unsteady. 1 Oh ! I dire not trust the baby with i him,” was lmr thought but she was si lent. She could not hear that th s? around her should know die mortifying truth. “ I do wish yon would stay all night Virgie,” spoke Aunt Lizzie, renewing her entreaties. “It is so late and it is growing colder.” N’irgie thought of the dreary five mile ride with a drunken husban \—and then the liver ! She had bef-re re* fused to stay but now she thought bet ter of it “ VYhat do you think of it, Charles? Hadn’t we better stay?’ she asked per suasively. But liquor had made him sullen. “ No, we must go home,” he sai-I sur liljG She knew it would avail nothing to argue the matter with him, tut only lead to a painful exposure, so she cooi menoed paying her adieux. "Trath Conquers All Things,” By dint of gentle coaxing she in iue. and him to give the babe to her before diey -tarted. As they rode aw\y. Uncle Logan shouted out to them : “ Look out for the river !” \ irgie’s heart was too heavy for a re ply ; but Charles shouted back with maudling cheerfulness: “ All Night I” As Hicy rode qn she saw that he was sinking in a drunken stupor. Oh, if they were only safe at hOtne how glad she would be. And then she thought of the river to be fi rded ; and eve: y breath was a prayer. She determined not to let him have the child when they came to the crossing, but to trust to her arm and courage to carry herself and babe through She hoped he would not think to ask her for the child, and was nerv ing hersolf f r a refusal in case he should when they came in sight of the water. The moon shone down making it al tn st as bright as day. A irgie thanked Heaven for that! But she shuddered as r he sweep of the water fell on her ear ; and she saw it foaming white in the moonlight, as it swept on in a strong current Charlie rouse himself. “ Where's the boy ; ’ he asked “Never mind, dear, he’s asleep and I don’t like to distuib him. I can carry him over. I’m strong enough for it.” “ What is :he woman talking of?— You carry him over indeed ! Give him to tne.” ‘ But Charles you are not in a con dition to hold him. I shall be thankful it you can guide your horse over safely as you are.” “Ha! What do you mean by that?” She made him no answer. “Do you take me for a fool ?” he said roughly ana angrily. “Now Charles don’t do so ! You know your arm is yery unsteady just now. It is indeed !” “Ah, l understand you now. So madam. 1 suppose y u think I am ruuk ? ’ Again she was silent. "diic me the child !” he said fierce ‘y- “Oh, Charles ! For God’s sake” “Give him to me do you iitin k to to brave me so? Give him here this minute.” Resistance, she knew, was useless. It would only s ive to mi’uri.ite him. and wiia* will not a drunken man do? Uncovering the little sleeping face she kiss.d it once —then drawing the thick shall which enveloped the lit tle figure, she covered the lace again and gave it into her husband’s arms. “Goalies, for the sake ol Heaven be caretui.” “Dun t be a tool.” So tln-y plunged in, and she did not take her eyes lioui tlie other two until ii,.d neatiy reached ~ic ojpjsite hank. 1 hen the hoist stepped on a -tone, and near!) participated her into the water. When her attention was again iroo they had reached the oppos.te bank. “ There he is !” said Charlie, tri umphaoiiy, as he placed the bundle in her arms. W hat a simpleton yon were to think i cou;d not or.ng him ovei saleiy.” iiow very light it was! Good Ileav •i) s! Bhu moves it about in her aims, pressed it closer and tuen utterded an awful shriek. “My child! My 1 ittle chili! My Cn iriie ! Oh, uiy child !” Both turned simultaneously back to the water. The quick eye of the moth er was just in time to catch one last bright glimpse of a lilt e rosy, pitiful upturned lace—and then it disappeared down t..„ valient, ,md the water flowed on. In his drunken unconscioutnees Charles had ie r the sleeping infant tlile o.t "t the shawl, an i u thing uuld be Hoard L-v iin n ise ot the voters. — ile did not know it until the uieiher SC lea uied. i here was Oh ! it was pit Hut. hcaVlbi uukiUg I*Oor VOUllg Ulotll er. * * * sft * The home of the Ga !es is very still now. \ irgfe s ple Gee seems paler vet, from the contrast with her black dress. The cradle looks so desolate, s'unding always baek in one corner of the nursery She never passes it without having her haart wrung anew ; and she will sit for hours, folding and unfolding the little clothes and her hands huger lovingly am-mg them.— Th ere is a pair of tiny w -rn shoes in the drawer of her work table, and a lock of tan, suit baby hair iu the great Bi ble. us hope that Charles Gale is a belter man. TIIE POST-WICE. We kept the posGuffice at the fair You know what that is. Deop'e come aed a?-k for letters, and of course we di rect any envelop? that happens to turn up, and hand it out, and they pay post age. We had ill sorts of things at the fair— fFh'poi is and grab-bags It was # u ean to put so many tracts in those, I do say \ and as I tifid you we kept the oust office, and 1 doii t kn \y hew it came into my head to write*!wo Biters jus alike : “Meet me at the oak tree if you have mu forgotten the past,” and put them into pink envelopes) but we wrote trash of aP kinds The oak tree was just outside the nmii where we held the lair, in the big room of the academy : and here was a nice bench there,so it struck tjte to write the noted. •■Give one !o- a lady and one to a gen tleman.” said I. And Ann Lur.n, who delivered the letters, laughed merrily. ‘“Whoever gets them will be sure to go to the tree,” she said, and al uosf as she spoke, up came I)r. Steelwaggon, the ol bachelor in Bluehill, and putting his head in at the window he said sk-w --h: “Yuuny hklTcs—are there any letters for me.” ‘•Yes, sir ; one for Dr S'eelwaggon,” cried Ann. tossing me a pink envelope, and I addressed it He paid a liberal postage —we was sure to do that— and away he went “Watch him for hall" and hour and you will see him go to the oak,” said Ann. And su e enough in less than that we saw hi in make brs way out of the hall and sit down under the tree in the moonlight. “ Men never lose their venity,” said Ann. “Do women ? Let us discover,” said I And I saw old Miss Barnet coming toward the office, and I directed fhe oth er pink envelope to her. In a moment up she came smilling— a pretty old lady it) black silk, with the nicest little ruffles of real lace at her nock • Have you letters for me, my d.ar ? she sai 1. ‘One. Mi s. Barnett,” said Ann. She handed out the pink envelope as she spoke “If I were a young lady I should think this was a love letter 1” she said as she walked away. ‘ Will Gie go to the oak ?” I asked. “We shall soon see,” said Ann. And though she did not go soon, it was not long befor ■ we saw her gliding • ■ut of the hall and walk’ng very slow, ly toward the botch where Dr. Steel* waggon sat. lie arose, as she came near he bow el She courtesied. They sat down to gether After awhile they arose and walked away arm irs arm. ‘Didn’t I tell you said Ann. “Of course when they met they had a chat,” said I. “They are two old neigh bors 1 But Ann would j kc a~d say all sorts of thi tigs of course. Well, ve were bnsy with the fair, and lorgot all about that little incident soon and when tip fair was over there was still a good deal to do, until one day we all went to the ministers house to count up what we had made and talk things over when, as we were counting the gains of the postvffiee, the ministers wile cried out. “Oh girls we are to have a wedding here to night, and the postoffice brougt it about. Miss Barnet is to marry Dr. Steelwaggon and all because of two let tersthat they got at your office. You see kr.g ago when she was a pretty young lady and he a handsome young man, the two were engaged, and loved each other dearly But they quar rolled somehow as lovers do, now and then and separated. From that day to this they have never spoken toevh oilier But neither of them as you know, has ever uiaiied and lately Miss Barnet told me she had begun to think that (he doctor must have loved her more than she thought, eke he would have had a wife Men can always arry it' they please, you know. And then she knew very well there had never been any on : to her like the doctor. She thought as she walked about the fair how happy the old couple looked arm in arm. and per haps he thought so too. Indeed he lias told her so since. And when she walked up to the office she thinking how hand some he was yet ; and when she opened her letter and read : Meet uie at the old oak tree if you have not forgotten the past, it g ive quite a nervous feeding, and afto awhile she walked slowly along to the door and looked out. The moon shone brightly over the lawn, and there under the k in the middle sat the doctor himself. Had he written her the let ter-/ She walked on-toward the tree, not meaning to seem to see him unlc.-s lie spoke ; but he did speak. IT: arose and bowed. “Miss Barnet,” he said, ‘“1 hope I see you well. And she said : “Thank you quite well, Dr. Stcelwag® T > gor>. And that was the first words they h id spoken since thirty years ago. She said to him : ““It is perfectly certain that we have made a great mistake tniukingwe liked eaeh other, Dr. Steelwaggon.’ ’ “‘And be had said. ‘“ I never contradict a lady Mbs Bar net.”’ “Then she was twenty and he twenty five. . toy were old jirnpU now, but when she shook hands with him under the oak, she felt herself trend in. We are both alone,” said he. “Let us keep each other company.” • “h. bowed her to t*ie seat from which he had arisen and sat and wn beside her. "Aft- r that, the fir-t questi .n he a.-k --d mu.- : ■ H ve you been to the post office t As.” ‘ S-have I,’’said he. “Will you read uiy note ?” “ tie placed it in her hind. It was a duplicate of the one she had receiv She showed hers. , • Th- se foolish c’ ildren have been playii g us a trick, said she ; we can nigh at it . ‘ I don’t feel much like laughing.’ sir ne. ‘“You see I have not forgotten tin past,. Have you ?” In W,since. “Women don’t forget very easily,” said J she. “ Miss Birnet, we have bc°n two fool I ish people I think a word on either side might have mended it years ago. I will say uiy word now. 1 love you yet; wiT you forgive me be my wile?’ “jD-jople would laugh at us so said she. “'We will laugh too,” said he Come Ilosa, say ‘Yes.’ ” NY hen he call >d her Rosa it suddenly struck her h->w long it was sinco she had been called by her Christian name and she begin to cry. Then he g**r her his arm and they walked away into the shadow, and they are 'o bo married this evening, and the post office and your j >ke did it, girls.” And they wore married and nobody laughed but a few sillies, and whojmind ed them. Wanted to be mi lAlitor. Have you had any experience in the business?” we asked of a verdant-look ing youth who applied fur an editorial position the other day. “ HaveuT I, though ?” he replied’ as he shoved one foot under his chair to hide the unskillful patching >f a buck wo (Is cobbler. “ ! should say I’d had some experience—haven’t I correspond ded with tite J’unipkinviile Screamer for six weeks? Uain’t that experience enough ?” “That will do verv well,” vre replied. “ hut when we take young men on our editorial Staff, we generally put, them through an examination. How much are tw olve times one ? ’ “Twelve ! Why, any little bov ought to an—” “ Hold on. please—don’t go t 0 fast —who discovered America ?” “ Klumbus ! Pshaw, them questions are ju*t as easy as —” ** NY ho .vas the first man V “ Adam! Why, Mister, I know all ” “ Wluit was his other name ?” “ His other name? Why, he didn’t have none ” “ Yes he did You see that’s where we’ve got you His other name was Ebenczer—Ebeoizer Adam, Esq , late of Paradise. Nobody kri 'ws this but editors, and see to it that you don’t tell anybody He said he wouldn’t. “ How many bones are there in the huma- body ?” “ Well, L forget now, but I did know wunst.” 1 What! Don't you know that? NN hy. there’s 7,482,921,444 bones in an ordinary man. A man that snores has one bone more than other people.” “ What’s that ?” “The trombone It is situated some where in the nose. You won’t forget that, will you ?” He said he wouldn’t. “ 11 o w long would it take a mud tur tle to cross the desert of Sahara with a small orphan to touch him up behind with a red-hot poker ?” “ NY’ell, look here, Mister, if T had a slate and pencil I could figgor that out. but dog my skin if I’m much on men tal ’rithmetic.” “ Slate and pencil ! Did you ever see n slate and pencil about a sanctum ? YY'ell, we’ll let that question slip. Have you got a good constitution ?” “ Putty tolerable.” “ How long do you think you could live on raw corn and faith, and do the work of a domesticated elephant ?” “Lord! I don’t believo I could live more'u a week ” “ NVeil, that’s about os long a? you’d want to live if you got an editorial po sition on this paper You appear to be pretty well posted ; we shall ask you one more question, and it you prove equal to it you cau take off your coat and sail in ” “ Let’s h ave ’er ’squire. I didn’t correspondent for the J’umykinville j Screamer six weeks f.r nothin’. Let ’er I come l’in on deck. I am.” “ Well sir, if two diametrical circles mith octagonal peripheries should col- j ride with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or, j to put it plaine-, we’ll say a disenlran ehi cd nonentity, w at effect wouH the j catastrophe exat on a crystalized cod- I fish suspended by the tail from the Imh j uiogenious rafters of the empyrean ?” As the full force of this ponderous I problem broke upon his bewildered ! brain, he slowly dragged his inartistic i ally cobbler! sii >e from under hi* chair, i ami started from the room. We heard i fim descend the stairs, go out. and close j the door. YVo th >n placidly resumed out duties, regretting that so promi-ing a youth had been weighed in the hal* aneoand found wanting Franklin J } a (not. lie Wanted it I'ubiishcd. He came to the local rom of the Chicago Tribune, pan ing. He had walked up fc seven ff ghls of stairs in. stead of taking tne elevator. He car- 1 ried a huge carpet-sack, and was a -lirn. j sh rt ycung man, his load evidently be- 1 ing heavier than himself. “ Where is i toe city editot ? shouted be in a sten- ; toriau voice YY ith one accrd lhe cn-' j tire local force rose and showed him the door. " Did you have a reporter at the uietting of the soap suds slashers ?” said he. Being answered .n the affirm alive, and pointed to the individual who was busily engaged in preparing his manuscript, the vi-itor wi h great diffi culty lifted his valise on the table, and from its folds extracted about two reams of toolcip pa pel writteu on both std-s, which he wanted published as his speech. He departed much dejected, taking with him the manuscript, a sadder uud wiser man. Hates <tf A :!ver! ,Ing. F<o- each -“jUare yf ten line? orls§& fur the first insertion, sl, and for such *ub sequent iusef'HOn, fifty cr-ms, No.smj ra | l Mo. j tf Mol. s • t i year. . fwo j ! So.UU ! .illi.uO Four “ I 6.00 ) If*.oo j 18.00 B>i.od j column j . I lo.tKi i 26.00 40.0 b p i t.y.00 j 26.00 40.00 65. Off t *• j go.oo | 40*00 ] 65.00 l 15.0 ff Sheriffs Kales, eacii U*vy,i..£4 Off > Application for Hmoeatead ” f*ff Notice to Debtors and Creditors.. 4 Off Lind Sales, one sqm. 4 O' l Eaeh additional square H Off NO. 33. The Latest Treason. The Union is threatened. Secret and subtle enemies are at work to destroy it. The vnr of secession was an open and and declared movement against if. movement supported bv great resource*, determined valor, and genir* ol he highest order. 'J he result dc mnnstra fed the utter helplessness of the at tempt; bat the fa 1 of the Confederacy did not secure the 'perpetuity of the Fedor 1 compact. The Union to-day is men ced by its professed friends, and dying from til* blows of its avovred champions. Americans have not yet forgotten the great pr neiplc enunciated bv Webster in the peroration of that famous speech which he delivered in rt j ly to llayne : •■Liberty and l ni< . tie uud. jnsi par able.” It would he impossible to express the conditions of Federal piusperity in ii’W er words. They mean net only that without union there can be no 1 berty, Lut also that without li erty there cau be no union. The term union compre* bends the confederation of equals, it >t snch a commingling atui colsolul;u*on ot parts as destroys their several identi ties. In a word, the policy ot central ization, ifpefservered iu, will prove fa to that system of government which sc cession left intact. Let th3 prestH policy of the administration at NVash ngton be adhered to, let the central 'power strip'sovcriegn States oft heir sn fumy in the interest of a party, let local elections be placed under the control at Federal influences, and before aunt tier Presidential ttrni shall have elapsed the magnificent scheme of the fathers of lie constitution will have proved a hope less failure. Centralization ! It is the crime Republicans are laboring to coin - uiit. The secessionalists strove to sep arate the States ; the Republicans are -tiiving to destroy them Jefferson Davis with all his armies at his back, was nevci so formidable an enemy to the Union as are General Grant and the ad ministration c'ique, with that host ot officeholders, whose silent and baneful influence i* slowly sapping the foun dations of free institutions in every sec tion of the country It would he a ta„ tal mistake to suppose that this intim ence has as yet only extended to a few Southern States. It has undermined the whole Union. The case is one of those in" which the ratient’s uncon . sciousnes* of his peril is his worst sym} toms. YY herever a postmaster, a custom house officer, a United Stat s Marshal has been stationed because ot his partisan devotion, there the seeds of central despotism have already betrati to germinate. In Louisiana a United Stales Marshal assists in reversing the result of an election ; in Missouri a lot of revenue officers enter into a conspi racy to defraud the public Treat ary and to raise a cam] sign fund. In both States the central power has been at - tempting to strengthen itself at the ex pense of the public honor and liberty. —New Orleans Vicayunt. The Mature Siaatar aail I’reily Ycung Wife. To the sketch ot Christiancy should have been added one of his wife, the pretty Treasury cl< rk. I called to see her with some friends on her r ception day. YY’e found her in one of the oldest houses in one of the oldest streets, 310 Indian avenue, N. YV. YVe told that Mrs. Christiancy was at home, and we w T cre ushered into a dingy little par -1 >t on the first floor, where we were kindly received by au old gentleman who ptesented us in these words: “My wife, Mrs. Cliristiancy. Shi is a pretty lit'le dot of a woman, and, upon my honor, loosed as pleased as he did. N\ it Lai, it was iuqossible to realize she was h s wife. He must be half a century her senior, and aL though a spry old m m, would be taken for no riea-er relative than grandfather. She is not t out of her feens, is petite, but not slightly built, being as dimpled and plump as a baby Her hair is au burn, and worn in a simple bra’d hang ing down,her back, added to her youths fill appearance. She was dressed in n plain brown silk gown, cut very high in the neck, and with lung sleeves.— She is exceedingly fair, and the throat and chin were nestled in the soft f, Ids of the rich, creamy lace now so mu<-h worn. A 1 aI! of the same kind of laco concealed the short, fat hands, upon which w’ere two plain gold rings. The mod .st dress did not cone 'a! the outline of a well-rounded arm and su perb bust, and the question in my mind was how long it would be before she would appear in society in the scanty costume which heie pievails to tne en vy of women and the admiration of men. F t the old man’* darling has a beautiful fieure and face, and her eom plexien is perfect It is pure and fresh in contrast with daik eyes and hair.— Buch clear brown eyes I have not seen in many a day, and they have an ap pealing expression which one cannot ro si-t A dimple in l lie left cheek and an 4her ill tin- chin ccusph ie the ch.-.rm of the face, dhcmiuth is pretty when closed It will be to view when care shall have gi en length to the u ! >_ per lip. Thtsi cruel to say. but m too natareof causes and effect :hcr* is uuu / a heartache for her. In conversation she is agree; bl and her manners are quia and self p - | sessed. — Indianapolis JSrics | Fcoff not at lhe natural de'cct* • F I any which art- not in their p- wn to j j vent. Ti- c uel to beat a trippfo \ ..i 1 his uwu crutches.