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CALHOUN TIMES
I>. B. FREEMAN, Proprietor.
CIRCULATES EXTENSIVELY IN
Gordon and Adjoining Counties.
Office: Wall St., Southwest of Court House.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Gte Yeai’ $2.00
Six Months qq
1 nitroiut SituduD.
Western & Atlantic Railroad
AND ITS CONNECTIONS.
‘ ‘ KEXMESA \v no TJTE. ’’
The following takes effect may 22(1,1875
NORTHWARD. No. 1.
Leave Atlanta 4.10 p.si
Arrive Cartersville 0.14 <l
“ Kingston 0.42 “
“ Dalton 8.24 “
“ Chattanooga 10.25 “
No. 3
Leave Atlanta 7.ot' a.m
Arrive Cartereviile 0.22 ~
“ Kingston 9.50
" Dalton 11.r,4 “
Chattanooga 1.56 r.M
No. 11.
Leave Atlanta 3,30 r.M
Arrive Cartersville 7.10 “
“ Kingston 8.21 “
“ Dalton 11.18 “
SOUTHWARD. No. 2.
Leave Chattanooga 4.00 p.m
Arrive Dalton 5.41 “
“ Kingston 7,28 “
“ Cartersville 8.! 2 “
“ Atlanta 10.15 “
No. 4.
1 e: ve Chattanooga 5.00 a.m
A ri ive Dalton 7.01 “
“ Kingston..... 9.07 “
“ Cartersville 9.42 “
“ Atlanta 12 06 p.m
No. 12.
I •a're Dalton 1.00 a.m
Ari e Kingston 4.19 <•
Cartersville 5.18 “
“• Atlanta 9.20 “
nil nan Palace Oars run on Nos. I and 2
bo (eci New Orleans and Baltimore.
I oilman Palace Cars run on Nos. 1 and 4
bet .eon Atlanta and Nashville.
I ullna m Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and 8
bitweer Louisville and Atlanta.
No change of cars between New Or
leans, A )bile, Montgomery, Atlanta and
Bal tmore, and only one change to New
Yore.
P isseng ;rs leaving Atlanta at. 4 10 r. m.,
arrive in New York the second afternoon
ther after at 4.00.
E' cursrcn tickets to the Virginia springl
- various summer resorts will be on sale
in N w Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery, Co
lumbus, Mac in, Savannah, Augusta and At
lautii, at gieatly reduced rates, first of
June
Parties desiring a whole car through to
be 5 irgima Springs or Baltimore, should
a hlrcss the uu lersigned.
Pa tics contemplating travel should send
f.ir a copy of the Kennesaw Route Gazette,
conta ning schedules, etc.
, Ask for Tickets v’a “Kennesaw
J outt ”
B. W. WRENN,
G. P. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga.
Change of Schedule.
T.IE GEORGIA AND MACON AND
AUGUSTA RAILROADS.
ON YNB AFTER SUNDAY, JUNE 28th,
1574, the Passenger Trains on the Georgia
>rd Macon and Augusta Railroads will run
.•is foll< ws :
GEORGIA RAILROAD.
Day Passevger Train Will
L nve Augusta at 8:45 a m
Leave Atlanta at.. 7:00 a in
A rive in Augusta at 3:80 p m
A ri\e in Atlanta at 5:45 p m
Nigyt P assenyer 'Train .
I ear e Augusta at 8:15 p m
I ea\e Atlanta .at ..10:30 p m
\ri ve in Augusta at 8:15 a m
An ive in Atlant i at 6:22 a m
VIACON AND AUGUSTA RAILROAD.
Macon Passenger Train.
1 cave AugufG at 0n...10:45 a m
1 cave Carnal, at 2:15 p m
Arrive at Macon at 6:40 p m
Leave Macon at 6:30 a m
Arrive at Camak at 10:45 a in
Arrive at Augusta at 2:00 p m
BERZEI L 4 PASSENGER TRAIN.
Leave Augusta at 4:15 p in
Leave JJorxelia at 8:80 a m
Arrive 'n lugusta at... 9:oo a m
Arrive in Berzclia at 5:50 p in
Passengers from A Miens, Washington, At
lanta, or my point on the Georgia Boil
road and Branches, by taking the Day Pas
senger Train, will make close connection
at (.’amak with trains for Macon and all
points beyond.
Pullman's’(First Class) Palace slecpin
Cars on all Night Passenger Trains on
Georgia Railroad.
S. Is' JOIIXSOX, Superintendent .
Sv peri ntendent’s Office Georgia and Macon
and Augusta Railroads, Augusta, Juno
29, 1874,
grofessionnt & Thisincss (tank.
Jj- K. MAIN, M. I).
PRACTICING PHYSICIAN,
IlaAng permanently located in Calhoun,
offers his professional services to the pub
lic. Will attend all calls when nol profes
sion lly engaged. Office at the Calhoun
Ilotol. “
J I). TINSLEY,
Watch-Maker & Jeweler,
CALHOUN. , GA.
All styles of Clocks, Watches and Jewelry
neatly repaired and warranted.
Tlie Great
CARROLLTON URATE,
—li V
Drs. Graves and Ditzler.
mms is the ablest, grandest and most
1 learned discussion of tlie age. Both
sides of the great denominational issues be
tween the Methodists and Baptists have been
thoroughly and well presented by these
great masters No such valuable book on
these subjects has ever been presented to
the American people. It, is a large octavo
volume, printed on fine paper, about 900
pages.
Bound in cloth $3 50
Bound in sheep 4 00
Subscriptions Solicited.
W. G, LUTIIER,
J. IT. TATUM,
Agents for Bartow atul Gordon
A. 8. TATUM
mar2Mt
' . ; 1 '
Two Dollars a Year.
VOL. VI.
CHEAPEST AND BEST!
HOWARD
HI DR 11 Lit CEMENT!
MANUFACTURED NEAR KINGSTON,
BARTOW COUNTY, G EGRGI A.
Equal to the best imported Portland Cement.
Send for (lircvJar. Try this before
buy in<j elsewhere.
Refers by permission to Mr. A. .T. Wait
President of Cherokee Iron Company, Polk
county, Georgia, who has built a splendid
daiu across Cedar Creek, using this cement,
and pronouncing it the (test he ever used.
Also refer to Messrs. Smitl:, Son & Bro., J,
E. Veal, F. I. Stone. J. J. Cohen ail Major
Tom Berry, Rome, Georgia, Major 11. Bry
an, of Savannah, T. C. Douglas, Superin
tendent of Masonry, East River Bridge,
New York, Gen. Wm. Mcßae, Superintend
ent W. & A. Railroad, Capt, J. Postell, C.
E. Address
G, 11. WARING, Kingston, Ga
octlOl y.
Hygienic Institute I
IF YOU would enjoy the
HO \ TITO mo9f delightful luxury ; if
II li Mil |y° u would be speedily,cheap-
UllilitU ly, pleasantly and perma
nently cured of all Inflam
matory, Nervous, Constitu
tional and Blood Disorders
if you have Rheumatism,
Scrofula. Dyspepsia, Bron
fehitis, Catarrh, Diarrhoea,
Dysentery, Piles, Neuralgia.
Paralysis, Disease of the
Kidneys, Genitals or Bkm,
Chill aid Fever, or other
Malarial Affections ; if you
would be purified from all
Poisons,whether from Drugs
or Disease; if you would
miOI/. . have Beauty, Health am!
8 I ! h It isll Long Life go to the Dygien
-1 'J l ® l * lie Institute,and use Nature’s
!orout Rcmedics.thc Turkish
lUntil,IUntil, the “ Water-cure Pro
(cesses,” tie “Movement
‘cure,” Electricity and other
Hygienic agents. {success
is wonderful —curing al l cu
rable cases. If not able to
go and take Board, send full
account of your case, and
get directions for ireatment
at home. Terms reason;;
ble. Location, corner Loyd
and Wall streets, opposite
O I rrfs,l I Passenger Depot, Atlanta,
li.i IjS i Jxo. Stainb vck Wii.son,
Physician-in-Charge.
Awarded the Highest Medal at Vienna
E. & H. T ANTHONY & €O.,
51)1 Broadway, New \ork.
(Opp. Metropolitan Hotel.)
Manufacturers. Impcrters & Deal
ers in
CHROMGS AND FRAMES,
Stereoscopes and Views,
Albums, Graphoscopes an l suitable views,
Photographic Materials,
We are Headquarters fo r everything in the
way of
Sta•eoscopticons cm) and Alatj t c
Lanterns.
Being manufacturers of the
Micro-Scientific Lantern,
Stereo-Panopticon,
I 'niversify-Stcrcoscopficon ,
Adveitiser’s S'ercoscopticon,
4 rt opt icon,
Schorl Lantern. Family Lantern,
People's Lantern.
Each style being the best of its class m the
market.
Catalogues of Lanterns and Slides with
directions for using sent on application.
Any enterprising man can make money
with a magic lantern.
£ : p : Cut out this advertisement for refer
ence ‘AST sep29-9m
Brick-Layer & Contractor.
THE undersigned most respectfully begs
leave to inform the citizens of Calhoun
aad surrounding country that, having pro
cured the aid of Mr. Ililburn as a number
one bricklayer and Barrcy 0 l all ur as a
number one rock-mason, is prepared to do
all work in T is line in the most satisfactory
manner and on moderate terms. The pat
ronage of the public generally solicited.
HENRY M. BILL ULMER.
Galiioun. Ga,, November 9, ISTS..
All orders addressed to me as above wil
receive prompt attention. novlO-ly
T. M. iijlliXjlS’
LIVERY & S4LESTABLL
Good Saddle and Buggy Horse?
and New Vehicles*
Horses and mules for sale.
Stock fed and cared for.
Charges will he reasonable
Will p ty the cash for corn in Hie ear and
’’odder in the bundle. febo-tL
Georgia, Gordon Count}
\\J 11EREMS. S. W. Robbins executor of
\V Jeremiah Robbins represent to the
court in his petition, duly filed and entered
on record that he has fully administered
Jeremiah Robbins’ estate. This is there
fore to cite all persons concerned, kindred
and creditors,to show cause if any they can,
why said executor should not be discharged
from his executorship and receive letter ; ol
dismi-sion on t! e first J/onday in July next.
This April Ist 1876.
D. W. NELL, Ordinary.
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 10, 187 G.
FIXDIXG THE SEXTET.
Oh. the beautiful home of the sunset,
Hung out on the western sky,
Where tha days lay down their brightness,
And bathing in splendor die !
Sweet friends in the home of our childhood,
The gentle and loving ones, stand
Gazing out as wo enter life's wildwood
In search of , the sunset laud.
Full soon do the meadows grow broader,
And rough the path where we stray.
Less frequent the full gushing fountains.
And the sunset seems further away.
And the friends who have journeyed with us,
We lay with the mouldering de id ;
They have reached the bright sunset before
us
And lonely the pathway we tread.
But the floods of moulten glory
W. Jeh beam from the sunset hind
Fill our hearts with a restless longing
On those bcaut ful shores to stand.
Ouv locks, once sunny and golden,
Are white as the drifting snow ;
Our eyes have grown dim with their gazing,
And our foci: terare feeble and slow.
As we near the eternal splendor
We pause at the swellllng stream :
We must cross it ere reaching the hiUiop.s
Which glow iu tlie sunset's beam.
So, eloring our eyes for a moment
In tire sun’s List dazzling ray,
We awake where glory dvvelletii,
iu a lumx of perpetual day.
m W ■"!< r mmmrnmm m
Poor Richard s Maxims.
The maxims by Dr. Franklin, though
often printed, lose nothin** of their vai*
ue by a repetition ; they tuay at the pres
ent time serve to strengthen good rest)
iution.
1. Plow deep while the sluggards
sldep, and you have grain to sell and
keep.
2. Dride is as loud a Logger as want
and a deal more saucy.
3. Silks satins scarlets and velvets
put cut the kitchen tire.
4. Diligence is the mother of “good
luck.
5. Pride breakfasted ’with plenty
dined with poveity and supped with iu
fa my.
ti. Extravagance and inproviden.ee
end at the prison door.
7. It is easier to build two chimneys
than to keep one in fuel.
8. 11’ you would know toe value cf
money go try and borrow some
9. 4he eyes of the master will do
more wotk than both hands.
10. What maintains one in vice will
bring up two children.
11. He that goes a borrowing goes a
sorrowing.
12. Rather go to bed supperless than
rise in debt..
13. oloth rust consumes faster than
labor wears
14. A life of leisure and a life of la
ziness are two different things.
15 Three moves are its bad as a IPe
16. Creditors generally have better
memories than debtors.
17. The rolling stone gathers no
moss.
18. If you would have your business
done, go; if not, send.
19. It is foolishness to lay out mon
ey in the purchase of repentance.
20 Buy what thou nee.lest most, at and
thou shall sell thy necessities.
A Story For Teachers.
A certain faithful teacher deter min*
ed, in his school of twenty six pupils,
to stop whispering entirely. Having
forbidden it, he made it a chief busi
ness one day to watch for violations of
his rule, lie observed one or two only.
O.i the imxt day there was scarcely an
offense; and on the third, he gave
special attention, but perceived none at
all. He determined to make thorough
work. Lit had devoted himself three
days to the accomplishment of his pur
pose, and he flattered himself that lie
hud succeeded. But determined to leave
no room for doubt, at the close ot‘ school
ou the third day, he presented eaca pu
pila small clip < r paper, and requested
each one who had whispered that day
to put a certain mark ou the paper, the
object being not to catch the offenders, 1
but to furnish testimony to the attempt.
The teacher collected the papers, but
thought it prudent not to examine them
until he was alone. When he reached
his room and nurd, the examination, he.
found that only tweniv*five out of twen*
ty*six, according to their testimony, had
whispered that day ! This story has a
moral ; in fact, it has several, but we
leave our leaders to make their own re*
flections.
Scene, a butcher s stand. Butcher
—‘•Come, John, he lively now, break
the bones in Mrs. Williams’ chops and
put Mr. Smith’s ribs in the bar-ket for
him.” John, (briskly),—“All right,
sir ; just as soon as I’ve sawed off Mrs.
Murphy’s leg.”
Lots of fun this year —three hun/
dred and sixty-six dsys, fifty*three Sun
days, Leap year, Centennial celebration,
Presidential election, and the great
Shakespearian contest between Dr. Lan
dis and the Cuunt Johannes. “II op
la
-—•—
The fashionable style of announcing
weddings wrought a very significant
cotnbination in one of our Georgia ex
changes recently. Mr Harry L. Cramp
was married to Miss Nettie Kollock,
and the paragraph to that effect was
headed “ Cramp —Kollock.”
“Tuere now,” exclaimed a little
nirl. while rumaging a drawer in the
bureau. “ Grandpa has gone t.* Li-avcn
without his spectacles.”
Truth Conquers All Tilings,”
Health Notes.
’1 he best disinfectant are those which
cost the least, are most easily applied,
and which causes the least inconven”
ienee to the health, or the textures to
which they are applied. If a disinfec
tant uorrudes metal, stains garments,
disfi gurcs furniture, or is poisonous
when outwardly applied or swallowed,
it is CimiDaritiveiy useless.
I!’ a man were to say to me tlrat the
moon was made out of a monkey, I
would say nothing, and let him have his
own way ; either, first because “he was
a fool and had nr sense,” or. second, he
anew better, and wanted to provoke ar
gument; and I have seldom found argu
ment on any subject, especial!/ ou polo
tics or lel gion, either profitable or
■ig enable.
The man who makes every day a feast
• i fat tilings, arid sustains, himself by
never allowing alcohol to die out of him,
except lor a few hours in the afterpart
of the night, must perish prematurely,
and can dpt' beget healthy children,
Tha benefits ’ arising from the daily
use of any tiling that can Intoxicate is
always fictitious, unreal and deceptive,
and loouer or later the- cheat will be
found out, by the system not only, fail
log to be kept up, but that from which
it started, with the attending ill Jesuits
of its greater inability to repel the at*,
tacks of di ease or the ill effects of de
eterious agencies.
W hen a person has been kept from
eating several hours beyond it is usual
tiu.e, instead of eating lust and heartily
he should take his food with delibera
tion, and only half as muih as if he had
eaten at the regular time. Sudden and
severe illness has often resulted from
•he w ant of this precaution, and snne~
times death ha's followed.
4 lie memory, i ke a true friend, is
made the firmer by being trusted; not
ing down trifling things is the way to
destroy what remnant of memory you
have.
Physical cleanliness and moral pari
ty, and el ration ol character have a
close connection ; while tidiness in dress
lias a strong alliance to strict justness
and iitness ot action.
Brest eaters never live long. A vo
racious appetite, so far from being a
sign ot health, is a certain indication of
disease* some dyspeptics are always hun
gry, feel best when they are eating, hut
:ts soon as they luive eaten they enter
torments, so distressing in their natu e
as to make the unhappy vic’iu: wish for
death. The appetite of health is that
winch inclines moderately to eat, when
eating time conies, and win efl, ’when sat
islied, leaves no unpleasant reminders
ileal business men, shrewd and
keensighted, care very little about let
ters of reecommendation from anybody,
knowing that human nature is very uc
c nmii:.dating in giving what costs noth*
ing more than writing a few well-ex*
pressed sentences. They know that
truth.lies in things, net words; in what
they see, rather than in what they
hear. A youth vould not get a clerk*
ship with the recommendation of every
Governor in the nation, if ho entered a
i counting-room with a cigar in his mouth,
a earn* in his hand, and a diamond ring
on his linger.
Amusement is as much a necessity to
the mind as food to the body. Tlie
mind is vivified by p’easurable recrea
tions, as much as the body is sustained
by a nutritious diet.
Whatever begets pleasurable and
harmless feelings, promotes healtlij; arid
whatever induces disagreeable sensa
tion*. endangers disease.
No man was made to be a loafer ; it
ie a crime againt one’s self, a crime
against society, a eri ' e against the
Merciful One. who has enacted the utii*
versul law, “ In the sweat of thy face
thou shall eat bread,” with the added
injunction, “ Jle diligent in business.”
If a man in good health has not eat
en anything for some days, he will die
if he eats heartily. When persons are
found in an almost starving condition,
light food, in small quantities, and at
short intervals, is essential to safVty.
The more out-door air and cheery
sunshine a man can use, the longer he
will live.
How Egyptian Women Dress.
Egyptian ladies walk about the streets
upon shopping expeditions (in which I
am told they take ati even more raptu
rous delight than my own fair country
women) enveloped in a hideous black
garment, not unlike the dismal robes of
the Roman Confraternito, which effec*
t uu lly conceals the attractions nature has
bestowed upon them, as well as those
and e to the adornments vf millinerv and
jewehy. But English ladies who enjoy
the priveltge of tree access to some* of
<he leading Egy'ian harems have in*
formed me that this shapeless, lugubri
ous vestment covers toilets of the great
est splendor in material and color and
bijouterie that might awaken envy in the
bieast of many a tit let. Western dame.
I have listened to thrilling accounts of
lockets as large as turkeys’ eggs, both
faces of which are covered with bril
liants of the first water the size of good
ly chick peas; of complete “costumes”
from Worth and Mine. Eiise; of ropes
of pearls that would have “sickled o’er
wit i the cast of thought ” the lavish
impulses of Lothair himself; of rubies,"
emeralds, and sapphires, scattered with
flue profusion over the surface of unde
niable if somewhat exubertant charms
A8 the Egyptian ladies so the Egyptian
houses. What they are compiled to
exhibit to public gaze is of a simplicity
!V qnearly amounting to ug’iness, while
h t which hey esevve fir private in*
G' Jti n is g rg'eous and ornate in the
1 extreme.
ot-I>oor Exorcise.
I suppose it is hardly possible to
compute the amount of suffering caused
to women and girls by the lack of reg*
ular daily cxer ise in the open air.—
Children from three to ten years old
seldom fad to insist upon enough out
door play to satisfy the demands of
health. Busy housewives, too. who are
compelled by the family necessities to
use freely every muscle in the body, and
that, too, every day, do not feel this
lack so sensibly. Those who suffer most
are young girls who have nothing spec
ial to call tlmmout, and C e vasr multi
tude of women, who, keeping help
enough to do the rougher housework,
spend their time at the sewing machine
or with the children. To all such a
brisk walk taken with perfect regulari
ty every day and in all weathers would
be an inestimable boon. They vould
this exercise no loss, of time. It
would quicken the circu'aticn, brighten
the eye, energize and vitalize the whole
system, so that more would be accom
plished on an average with the walk
than without it. I have in my mind an
illustration of this truth. My seatti*
stress, who is also my friend, and who
spends many weeks at the house every
year, when she lirst came to help me
would sew patiently and industriously
through the long hours of the day.
scarcely changing her position. She
would be so t ; red and nervous when
night came, that rest and sound sleep
were almost impossible. 1 said to her
after a time—“ now you shall go with
me to wuilk every afternoon. You can
easily make up the hour if you desire ;
at any rate I believe it will be better
for both of us to nave you take some
out, door exercise ” Binee then we
have made i; a rule to spend an hour
out doors every day, and I am sure the
flan has worked to our mutual advan
tage.
Outdoor amusements, croquet, bah,
horse*baek riding, etc , should be provi
ded an abundance for growing girls.—
1 am always glad to sec a farmer’s
daughter helping him w ith his out-door
work. I know while she is aiding her
father, she is also building up her own
health. Teach the girls to drive, give
them colts to break which shall be their
own to ride afterwards, encourage them
to make gardens, ask them to run er
rands, to do anyth ng that will keep
them out of doors. If mothers could
only realize that not only themselves but
their babies wuuid be vastly benefited
by exercise in the fresh air. they would
take more pains to avail themselves ol
Hti.s tomc wIhG; ;s*t > be bed “ without
money and without price.” More ba
bies are killed every y< ar by close rooms
and impure air, t ! an by exposeure to
cold. Take yourselves and give your
children freely that best of'medicines
—that Divirestimulant— an abundance
of fresh air.
Teticliiug Children Courage.
Courage is a vital element of Chris*
tiau chiva’ry. Without it, indeed,
neither truth or fidelity to promise can
be hoped for. The coward is sure to
lie when truth means punishment, and
sure to retreat from his engagements
when they invo’vc peril. We need
valiant souls that have 1 \irned to en
dure and scorn pain, and to face danger
fearlessly and promptly when duty re*
quires. Some parents evade this vital
part ol training by glosses and decep
tion. A woman who has taken her boy
to the dentist to get a tooth out will oD
ten say, if he is shrinking: “ Sit still,
my boy, it won't hurt you.” Now she
knows it will hurt him, but thinks if
she can only get him by this devi.-e to
let the dentist get hold o:’ the tootht
then his discovery of the pain will no,
hinder its extraction. This is a double
mistake. It destroys her boy’s confi
dence in her ; for he defects her in a
lie ; and though it gets th< boy this
time to sit still, it is under the delusion
that there is to be no pain, whereas he
should be taught to bear the pain to
scorn it. This is the difference between
the cowards and heroes. A regiment
ofj;ilfroons could march up to a battery
as cheerfully as a regiment of heroes, if
they tbought there was no enemy at the
guns. The difference is that heroes know
the danger and yet face it valiantly.
Out of the exuberance of Ins heart a
Galena man warbled, *• When the
Springtime Comes, Gentle Annie," and
at the conclusion of the first verse he
was remind and by his wife of the fact
that when spring did come the children
would have to have a new suit of
clothes, the house a fresh c uu of paint,
and the madame a stylish bonnet an 1
tie back; a £1.700 mortgage would
have to be lifted, a woodshed built, a
spa-e bed'room furnished for his tooth?
er-in>law, who was coming to stay all
summer, and sundry other little matters
looked alter.— Wnshinjiori Chronicle.
Kentucky is a healthy place, for
there is a town in that State of 2,100
population wherein there has been but,
one death during the past year, and that
resulted from the man’s act of taking
his own life, because he became too
old to chew tuba ecu.
A Country editor receive! the fid
lowing ; “Dear sir—l looked carefully
and patiently over your paper for the
past six munths for the death of some
individual I was acquainted with, hut
as yet not a sing e sod! I care anythin*.'
about has dropped off; you wi.l please
to have my name erased.
la Advance.
Yj ha! .U!cJ the Batter.
Jones seemed doomed to have trouble
with Ins boarding house. 'J he other
muruing he went down to breakfast i_. a
tiue humor, and thought lie would have
some fun wLh the landlady. While
he and the other boarders were plaster
ing their hot cakes with butter. Jones
called out from his md of the table to
the solemn man next to the landlady’s
eiid of the board f
“ Mr. it hod as, be so kind as iO re
quest that butter to amble in this di
icetion ?”
•Several parties smiled, and the land*,
lady cast a threatening look at .Jones,
but he a.ted as though he didn’t see it,
and soon remarked :
“ if 1 was as strong as lids butter, 1
would hire out to a circus and travel
around, having big pictures in ten col
ors stuck up on tenues and dead walls,
showing me utf as * The Man with the
iron Jaw,’ holding up black tea boxes
marked * fifteen pounds ' in white
paint 1"
‘■Mr. Jones/’ sharply demanded the
landlady, “ was it you that went stum
bling up stairs at 1 o’clock this morn
mg, singing, ‘ das was gooter lar-ger
beer/ or something of the sort ?"
Jones proteste x that he was in bed at
9 o’clock in the evening, and sober as a
jud o e. A painful silence followed, which
Jones souu disturbed.
“ If J furnished the help around this
house I’d hire real, genuine, live Co®
manche Indians."
“ Mr. Jones!" exclaimed the landla
dy vehemently, “what do you mean by
such outrageous conduct ?"
“ litg pardon, ma’am, but you don’t
comprehend; the Indians would be right
good hands to scalp the butter before
Mfeak —"
Five men dodged in a hurry as the
pewter sugar-bowl, went wliizzing at
Jones’ head, while that individual slid
under the tab'e. The next minute he
was flying out through the ball dour in
to the -street, and the landlady was just
far enough behind to miss when she
grabbed at his coat tail. As Julies
stopped to tell a policeman what the
row was about, she icformed him :
“Mr. Jones, you impudent, drunken
rascal, i'll take a distress warrant and
two constab es to get your rags and duds
out of here, and they had better be quick
about it too !’’
And now Jones is boarding else
where “in a quiet neighborhood," he
says — Excharxjc.
fiiggliag Girls.
The Te-Ues. Perhaps you It.n’t know
them by that name; well, then,suggest
a better. They are the salt of our so
ciety, in one sense — girls of good minds,
tfat wiil be good if they survive
the g’ggling age, girls of good families,
well dreaed, polite, and linedooking, but
possessed of the insane idea that they
must laugh upon all occa ions, whether
there is any’ hing to warrant it or not,
else they are nut jolly, gay girls, aud
lively company. A bevy ol them came
into the Public Library the other day ;
oner had just had an adventure which
was to be recited ; she dropped into a
chair, bent over and held her sides and
they ail chorused in. They hadn’t heard
it yet, but, of course, it would be awful
funny when it was told. Hhe was com
ing up K street when she stepped on a
rotten plank—te, he, he—chorus, te, he,
and down she went. O dear —te, he,
he—and her foot got tangled —lull cho
rus, te, he, he, he —and a man came
along with a horrid check shirt on —he.
he, he —big cheeks ; perfectly horrid—
he, he —and help and her up —he, he, he ;
then a waving of the bodies back and
forth and a grand to, he, ad libitum, all
together. Aow. 1 did not make this up
not a bit of it. They were splendid
girls—l speak sincerely —but what an
exhibition ! I saw an old gray-beard
take a book he didn’t want and hurry
away. Then another girl took it up and
said her book was so comical she just
howled over it —tie, he, he —they must
all read it, they would laugh so ; as it
that was the chief end and aim of a 1
girl’s existence. \V ben a man is amus
sod he laughs with gusto, and then
straightens ms lace tilt next time, and i
it has some meaning, but the perpetual
grin or giggle is detestable. At a lec
ture recently I saw six young ladies
seemingly convulsed with laughter lor
five minutes or more at the accidental
dropping ol a paper of candies over the
the IP'or. I think l can go into a so"
cial parlor and select the groups of mar
ried ladies 1 tom those ol the girls, not
by their luces or their d-css, but by the
amount of giggling done; matrimony
subdues the snicker. Deficit Free
Press.
“Jack!" screamed a bright eyed
goiden-liuired, fair iaced little girl of
six summers to her younger brother,
who had dumped himself under the wall,
where he was digging sand with a strip
of shingle. “ Jack, you good-for'Uutb
ing little scamp, you aie the torment ol
my life ! Come right into the house
this minute, ov i ii take the very hide
off u yuu 1 Gome in, 1 say !” “ Why,
Totty," exclaimed her father, who
chauced to come up at that moment,
“ what in the world are you saying ? Is
this the way you talk to your little
brother ?” ‘‘ 01), no, papa," answered
the child pr mpUy and with an inno
cent smile- “We were playing keep
house, and I'm Jack’s mother, and was
talking to him just as mamma talked to
me this morning. J never really spank
him, *s mamma doe* me sometimes ”
B'l’Cmorc American.
Kates of Advertising.
j ffuT For each square of text line- or lows
for the first insertion, sl, and for each sub
sequent insertion, fifty cents.
No.Sq’rs 11 Mo. | 8 Mos. | 0 Mo? j 1 year.
Two $4.00 $17.00 I $12.00 I $20.('0
four “ 0.00 10.00 j 18.00 85.0
| column . lo.(H) 25.00 40 O'
l “ 15.00 25.00 40.00 65.00'
1 “ 25.00 4000 05.00 115.(0
Sheriff’s Sales, each levy $1 00
Application for Homestead ?... 2 00
Notice to Debtors and Creditor-* 4 < 0
Land Sales, one square 4 Ou
Each additional square 8 00
NO. 34.
A \ew Hotlgc for Drhiltfj.
lie didn’t look as it 1 is pockets held
fifty cents, but a rich man has a right
to dress as he chooses, lie loafed up
Griswold street until he saw the right,
suit of a face, ad then he asked.
“Can you show uie a bank.’’
“ Yes sir—three doors below of
just across the street or right back
there."
“Thanks. I’d like to put some money
in some bank but I’m a little afraid of
banks. I always did prefer a note of
hand to a bank."* *
The citizen picked up his ears and
asked :
'•You have some money to lend, hrv r
you ?
“A trifle,” was the answer. “Do you
know of anybody who’d like to take
some and give me a note for a year at
seven per cent. L think ol going to Mex
ico."
“Let’s see ?" mused the citizen,
“I don't know but Id take some my
self."
Lem me' git a drink and then we’ll talk
said the stranger.
“Yes —certainly—come on," replied
the citizen and the two wut into a
basement Drinks were ordered by the
citizen one after another until his shin
plaster felt lonely. lie said ho could
make good use of a few thousand dollars
for a year and some of his Litmus might
also take u few more* U he
stranger put down gin, whiskey, lager
and biandy until his legs gave out. The
citizen laid him on a bench and tiied
to sober him but the fellow went de and
asleep while they were trying to f- c;
vinegar down his throat. The barkuq
er said he was an old loafer and a po
liceman was sent for to take him to the
station house. When they got him
there and searched him they found four
cents a brassA*ack comb and a door key
in his pockets aud the citizen who want
ed to burrow a few thousand dollars
went softly around the corner to see if
the mail had come in. —D trait Free
/‘rcss.
Going to C hurch In IfiOtJ.
In the biography of the late llov. Dr.
Goodell, veteran miss'onary and Orien
tal scholar, he gives this picture of the
way they went to hurch in Templeton,
Mass., his native place, at ttie beginning
of the century :
The old puritanical horse seemed to
understand as well as the most pious of
us that it was holy time, and he stood
at the door, sadd ed and bridled, wi'h
his head bowed reverently down, as if
in solemn meditation upon the duties lie
was expected to perform. My father,
with cne of the children in his arms,
rode before; my mother sat behindon a
pilion, and carried one of the children
m her arms, and stid another child rode
behind, clinging as closely tu her as
she did to her husband. 1 recollect on
one occasion,*in ascending as teep, sandy
bill, the girth of the saddle gave way 1
and there was an avalanche of the whole
load father aud mother and three chil
dren, and plilion, over the horse’s tail,
plump into a sandbank. The old rheu
matic horse never seemed amazed at any*
thing that might happen, but; this time
he simply opened bis large eyes wider
than usual, and, wheeling half round,
looked to see whether he could help us
in any jvay.
A Beautiful Alleuokt —Mr.
Crittenden, of Kentucky, was once en
gaged in defending a man who had
indicted for a capital offense. After an
elaborate aud power!ul argument, he
closed his effort with the following
beautiful and striking allegory :
“ When God in his eternal council
concieved the thought of men's creufion,
lie called to Him the three Ministers
who wait constantly upon the throne—
Justice, Truth and Mercy-—and thus
addressed thorn : 1 Shall we make man V
Then said Justice, ‘ O God, make him
not, for he will trample upon thy laws?e
Truth made an answer, also, ‘ O God'
make him not, for he will pollute the,
sanctuaries.’ . But Mercy dropped upon
her knees, and lo< king up through her
tears, exclaimed 1 O God, make him—l
will watch over him through all th'
dark paths which he may have to tread ,
Then God made mart and said to him
‘ 0 man, thou art the child of mercy ;
go aud deal with thy brother.’ "
A man with a load of feather dusters
on his arm caMed at a house on Mont,
calm street yesterday and, after repeat ,
edly knocking on the boor, an old lady
whose eyes were red with weeping
opened it. Deg pardon—didn’t know
as any one was dead in the house,"he said
moving back. ‘ There is no one dead,"
she replied sadly ; “ hut there migX
us well be. My daughter is dead in
love with a fruit tree agent from Syra
cuse, and I shan’t look at a currant hush
or a grape vine this whole summer with
out wishing that some steambeat had
blowed me up when l was a baby !
Detroit Dree Dress
A pleasaut story is told in England of
how haukey walked up to a grenadu r
and taking him affectionately by the
belt said : “Young man I likewise am a
soldier, a soldier of heaven." -Old un
returned the grenadier, “you’re a Eng
way from your barracks, anyhow."
A Mari iage license was issued the
other day in Indianapolis to Cyrus
Wann and Minnie Moore. lhrhaps
there may be “wan more before lor g.
Offerings of the season. Tv.enty
cents on the dollar.