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the times.
p. B FREEMAN, Proprietor.
CIRCULATES EXTENSIVELY IN
Gordon and Adjoining Counties.
Office: V/all St., Southwest of Court House,
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
. . Year •••-• $2.00
T ix Months 1.00
GEORGIA AND ALABAMA ~
TBAMBOAT COMPACT.
Notice l
ALT, goods shipped to the car** of J. M.
ELLIOTT, Gen’l. Sup’t., Rome, Ga M from
rbiladelphia, New York and Boston, via
Charleston or Va. & Tenn. Air-Line, will be
guaranteed to all points on the Coosa, Oos
tanaula and Coosawattee rivers, at the fol
lowing rates, to-wit:
Class Class Glees Class Class Class
1 2 34/ 5 6
ns' 152 122 ICO 78 Go
The steamers, “Magnolia and “Mary
Carter” will run the following Schedule,
carrying the U. S. Mail:
Steamer Mnguolin,
leave Rome—Every Monday 1 p. m.
Every Thursday 9 a. m.
L ,ve Gadsden—Every Tuesday 8 a. m.
Every Friday. .Ba.m.
Arrive at Rome—Evcry Wednesday at G p. m.
Eveiy Saturday, G p. m.
Steamer Mary Carter.
Leave Rome Monday 8 a. m.
Arrive at Rome Wednesday 6 p. m.
Arrive at Carter’s Tuesdt ye 12 m.
Leave Carter’s Tuesdays 2 p. m.
passenger Rates on Coosa River.
Home to Cedar Bluff. $2 00
Rome to Center 2 50
Rome to Gadsden 4 00
Passenger Rates on Oostanaula
arct Coosawattee Rivers.
IT,me to Reeves’ Station $1 00
Rome to Calhoun 1 50
Rome to llesaca 1 75
R, ur to Field’s Mill 3 00
Rome to Garter’s Landing 3 50
Kilt;-.- to other points inquire at the office
of (A,:;, iiiiir foot of Broad Street Rome, Ga
I’or families intending to emigrate to
•I, x -s the Georgia and Manama Steamboat
('mupatty offers a very desirable route via
New Oilcan''.
Dir-ct and close connection is ma le from
Meridian via Jack, on and New Orleans with
Trains t-f the Texas line. Other in forma
t mi can be obtained by addressing
JAMES M, ELLIOTT, Gen’l Supt.
Ci o. W. Bowkn, John C, PniNTur,
(lend Freight Agt. Gen’l Pass. Agt.
nu j2G-f f.
W estern & Atlantic Railroad
and its connections.
“ KEXSLSA IV TiOTJTI
The following takes effect may 23d, 1875
NiiRTHWARD. No. I.
V ’„ . 4.10 i-.m
’ 0.14 “
-t <*n 0.4.1
Gabon f-~j “
'i;aitin ooga
No. 3
I. ive Atlanta T.OCa.m
. . (i oo
Ai t ive ( ”
Kingston ••
Dalton
Cliattam oga
No. 11.
I, vo Atlanta W m
Arrive CnrtersvilU •
Kingston 8.21
** Dalton 11.18 “
SOUTHWARD. No. 2.
cave Chattanooga LfiO p.m
\ 1 rive Dalton
<• Kingston 7.28
Cartcrsville 8.12 “
“ Atlanta 10 15 “
No. 4.
Ie ve Glmttanooga 5.00 A.M
r; ive Dalton 7.01 '<
•* Kingston ‘
“ Cartcrsville 9.4 x, “
* Atlanta 12 06
No. l ->.
1 rac Dalton ]-JJ A ; M
‘ Cartersville '*■ ('
Atlanta ,2 ® “
nil nan Palace Oars-run a 1 Nos. 1 and
- ,eea New Orleans and P i.timoro.
, oilman Palace Cars run -n Nos. 1 and 4
et een Atlanta ar.d Nashvilie.
1 .dim in Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and <>
it veer Louisville and Atlanta.
No change of cars between New ( r
-1 11 s A >bile, Montgomery. Atlanta and
Ral more, and only one change to New
P isscri'* >rs leaving Atlanta at 4 10 r. M.,
arri.e in New York the second afternoon
thor after at 4.00. .
E eursK n tickets to the \ irginia springs
ml various summer resoits will be on sa c
in N w Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery. (0-
1 mill .is, Mac >n, Savannah, Augusta and At
lanta, at gieatly reduced rates, first ot
Pa ties desi ing a whole car through to
he A irginia Sorings or Baltimore, should
y.ldriss the un lorsigned. .
Pa ties contemplating travel should sene
fa- ,1 copy of the Kenncsaw Route Gazette,
finta ning schedules, etc.
Bsr , Ask for Tickets Ha “Kenncsaw
i oute ”
B. W. WRENN,
G. P. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga.
Home Ha t trod <1- Sch erf ale.
AN and AFTER MARCH Ist, the evening
U train (except Saturday evening), on this
mail will be discontinued. The trains will
inn as follows :
MORNING TRAIN-
Le,r,\.. Pome dailj at 7:00 a. m.
Return to Rome at m *
SATURDAY ACCOMMODATION.
Leaves Rome (Saturday only) at 5:45 p. m
Return to Rome at 9:00 p. m.
The evening train at Rome will make
close connection with S- R- & D. It. R- train
North and South, and at Kingston with W.
& It. R train South and East.
C. M. PENNINGTON, C-en’l Sup’t.
TNO. E. STILLWELL, Ticket Agent.
( AMP, GLOVEIt & CO.,
Wliolesale
And Retail Dealers in
SSI LOGOS, CLOTHING,BOOTS,
Slides, Hats, &e t
‘a;st !Stock and Bottom Prices
*3) St. Rome, (Ll.
are nowreeiving the largestand best stock
mt) hy Vt . ever opened.
CALHOUN TIMES.
Two Dollars a Year.
VOL. VII.
The Cheapest in the World.
PETERSON’S MAGAZINE.
GREAT REDUCTIONS TO CLUBS.
Postage Prepaid to Mail Subscribers.
Pktemison’s Magazine has the best Orig
inal Stories of any of the lady’s books, the
best colored fashion plates, the best receipts,
the hest steel engravings, &c., &c. Eveiy
fanr.ly ought to take it. It gives more for
tho money than any in the world. It will
contain next year, in its twelve numbers—
One Thousand Pages ,
Fourteen Splendid Plates ,
Ticelve Colored Berlin Patterns.
7 icelve Mammoth Colored Fashions ,
Nine Hundred Wood Cuts ,
Twenty'■four Pages of Music
It will also give Five Origii al Copyright
Novelettes , by Airs. Ann S. Stephens, Frank-
Lee Bei edict, Mrs. Frances Hodgson Bur
net, Marietta Holley, and Lucy 11. Hooper
Also, nearly a hundred shorter stories, allt
original, by the best authors of Americ .. —
It superb
Mammoth Colored Fashion Plates
are ahead of all others. These plates are
engiaved on steel, twice the usual size.
TERMS (always in advance) $2 00 A YEAR,
) With a copy of th-
T Copies for $3 60 | premium picture (27
f 20) ’‘Cornwallis’s Sum
3 “ 4< 480 r render ”a five dollar en-
I graving, to the person
J getting up the club.
| With an extra copy of
4 Copies for SOSO j the magazine for 1877,
[as a premium, to the
5 “ “ $8 00 | person getting up the
j club
'I With both an extra
6 Co-pies for SO 60 I copy of the magazine
I for 1877, and the pre
-7 “ “ 1100 [ miura picture, a five
| dollar engraving, o
9 “ “ 13 50 | the person getting up
j the club
Address, post-paid,
CHARLES J, PETERSON,
' (Mi ( hestuut St., Philadelphia, Pa.
ft r , Specimens sent gratis, if written
P V.
JOB PRINTING !
r E are costantly adding new material
OUR JOB DEPARTMENT
and increasing our facilities for th execu
tion of dob Printing of all kinds. We ai?
now prepared to print, in neat style on sltov
notice,
CARDS, LEGAL BLAN.XS,
CHUT LARS, BLANK NOTES
BILLHEADS, BLANK RECEIPTS.
LETTER HEADS, ENVELOPES,
TICKETS, LABELS,
POSTERS. PAMPHLET &c., iic.
We guarantee satisfaction. Don't sen-*
your orders away to have them filled, whet
you have an establishment at home that w i"
execute work neatly, and at
AT EXCEEDINGLY LOW PRICES
goodfortune
Waits on all who purchase tickets in the
Grand Extra Drawing, Monday, December
4, 1876,
LOUISIANA STATE LOTTERY CO.
This institution was regularly incorpora
ted by the Legislature of the Mate for Ed
ucational purposes in 1868, with a capital
of §l,ooo,oo‘*, to which it has since added
a reserve fund of $620,000. Its Grand
Single Number Drawings will take place
monthly. The season of 18<b closes with
the following scheme :
CAPITA!- PRIZE, 830.000.
Only 20,000 Tickets at S2O each. Fractions
in proportion.
LIST OF PRIZES.
1 Capital Prize s'>o,ooo
1 Capital Prize 20,000
1 Capital Prize. 10,000
10 Prizes at 1.000 10,000
25 Prizes at 500 12,500
100 IVzes at 600 60,000
200 Prizes at 100 40,000
500 Pv zes at 100 00.000
2,000 Prizes at 20 40,000
APPKOXIMaTION PRIZES.
9 Approximation Prizes of S6OO, 2 709
9 Approximation Prizes f 200, 1,800
9 Approximation Prizes of 100, 900
2,865 Prizes amounting to $268,900
Write for circulars or send orders to B.
FERNANDEZ, Savannah, Ga ; CM VS. T.
110tVARD, New Oil ans, la.
The first regular quarterly dollar drawing
will take place on January 2, 1877. Tickets
$1 each. Capital Pi ize $15,000. [nolS’lm.
W. R. Rankin. J- A. Cray
TANARUS) AN K N A GRAY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Calhoun, Ga
IfeiF" Prompt dttetittoil paid to collections.
Office up stairs in the Young Building.
sepl6-6ui
A (VF NTT3 Cur I‘O'ge life-like Steel
* gravinfis of the Presidential
Candidates sell lapidly.--
make • Send for circular. N. 1.
Engraving Cos., 65 Wall S<.,
$lB A DAY. | Box 6266, N. V. [sopO-81.
CALHOUN, GA., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 9.1876.
Mr. Smith’s Boy .
A family named Smith has recently
moved to Germantown, and Mr. Brown’s
boy, on Saturday, Laned over the fence
and gave to our reporter his impressions
of Mr. Smith’s boy, a lad about nine
years old :
“Yts, me and him are right well
acquainted-now j he knows more’n I
do, and he’s had more experience. Bill
says his father used to be a robber
(Smith, by the way, is a deacon in the
Presbyterian church, n nd a very excel,
lent lawyer,) and that he has $10,000,-
000 in gold buried in his cellar along
with a whole lot of human bones, peo
ple he’s k lied. And he says his father
is a conjurer, andgtbat he makes all the
earthquakes that happen anywhere in
the world. The old man come home at
night, after there’s been an earthquake,
all covered with sweat, and so tired he
kin hardly stand ; Bill says it’s such
hard work.
“ And Bill told me that onco when a
man came around there trying to se‘l
lightning rods his father got mad and
et hiui,et him right up, and h takes
os bites out everybody he comes acrost
“ That’s what Bill tells me. That’s
all I know about it. And he tole me
that once he used to have a dog, one of
these little kind of dogs, and he was
flying his kite, and just for fun he tied
the kite string onto the dog’s tail
And then the wind struck her and his
dog went a boomin’ down the street,
with his hind legs in the air for about
u mile, wnen the kite all of a sudden
begun to go up, and in about a minute
the dog was fifteen miles high, and com*
manding a view of Ca.ifornia and Egypt,
and Oshkosh, I think Bill said. He
came down anyhow, I know in Brazil,
and Bill said he swum home ail the
way in the Atlantic ocean, and when
he landed his legs was all nibbled off
by sharks.
I wish f <ther and buy me a dog, so’s 1
could send bin. up that way. But 1
never have no luck. Bill said that
where they used to live he went out on
the roof one day to fly his kite, and he
sat on the top of the chimbly to give
her plenty of room, and while he was
sitting there thinking about nothing the
old man put a kag of powder down be
low in the fire*place to clean the soot
out of the chimbly. And when lie
touched her off Bill was b’owid over
agin the Baptist church steeple, and he
landed on the weatrer cock, with his
pants torn, and they couldn’t git him
down fir three days, so he hung there,
going round and ruuitd with the wind,
aui he lived by eating the crows that
earne and sat on him, because they
thought he was made of sheet iron and
put up there-on purpose.
“ lie’s had more fun than enough. —
He was telling me the other day about
a sausage stutter his brother invented.
It was a kinder machine that wo.ked
with a treadle, and Bill said the way
they did in the fall was to fix it on the
h.g’s back and connect the treadle with
a string, and the liog’d work the treadle
and keep on running it up and down
until the machine cut the hog up flue
and shoved th<* meat into the skins.—
Bill said his brother called it “Every
Hog His Own Stufler,” and it worked
splenuid But I do’ know ’Pears to
me’s if there couldn’t be no machine
like that. But, anyway, Bill said so.
“ And he told me about an uncle ol’
his in Australia who was et by a big
oyster once, and when he got inside he
staid there until he’d et the oyster. —
Then he split the shells open and took
half a one for a boat, and he sailed
along till lie met a sea serpent, anu he
killed it and drawed off its skin, and
when he got home he sold it to an en.
gine company fir a hose for $40,000 to
put out fires with. Bill said that was
actii..lly so, because lie could show me a
man who used to belong to the engine
company. I wish father’d let me go >,ut
to find a sea serpent like that; but he
don’t let uic have no chance to distin
guish myself.
“ Bill was saying only yesterday that
the Indians caught him once and drove
eleven railroad spikes through his stom
ach, and cut oft his scalp, and it never
hurt him a bit. He said he got away
by the daughter of a chief sneaking
him out of the wigwam and lending
him a horse. Bill says s'ue was in love
with him, and when 1 asked him t let
me see the holes where they drove in
them spikes, he said he darsen’t take
ofl his clothes or he’d ble' and to death.
He said his own father didn’t know it
because Bill was afraid it would worry
the old man.
“And Bill told re they wasn’t going
to get him to go to Sunday school—
lie says his faner has a brass idol that
he keeps in the garret, an i Bill says
he’s made up his uii* and to be a pagan,
and begin to go naked, and carry a tom
ahawk and a biff and arrow. And to
prove it to me he says his father hi s
this town al* underlaid with nitro
glycerine, and as soon as he gets leady
lie’s g'-ing to blow the old thing out,
and bust her up let her rip and demol
ish her H said so down at the dam
and told me not to tell anybody, but I
thought they’d be no harm in mention
ing it to you.
“ And now I believe 1 must be going.
I hear Bill a whistling. Y'aybe lie’s
i*ot something else to tell uie
The Smith boy, we think, will he
profitable to tlu community. Ad
ele.
It might be supposed that lager was
getting scarce in New York, when the
project is broached of tapping Lake Ona
tario, and building an acqueduct from
the lake to the city, in order to secure
a rood supply of water.
Truth Conquers All Things.”
The Orator aud the Writer.
Mr. Sumner once del vered a speech
at the Cooper Institute, which the nu..
dience had in their hands. And Mr.
Emersoo, always charry of his manu
script, when he expressed reluctance to
it a rep irter look over his lecture to
make an abstract/vas amazed when told
it would be a most attractive advertise,
uieot. If oratory were only the com
uiunication of information or the state
ment of an arguments he representation
of facts or the recapitulation of statis
tics, the newspapers would soon dispose
of the orator. But al! this is but au el
enient, a material, of oratory
Nor is it ou!v a rhetorical,Mr pass ouate
or picturesque appeal. But it is all these
penetrated aud glowing with the power
of living speech. It is what is called
magnetism,fascination,nameles- delight.
Nothing Is harder to convey in des
cription or in the very words thun elo
quence, which is *be name for the deep
est charm in speech Where it lies is
no 4 - to be said. It is the most elusive
of secrets It is the spell of the magi
cian, but is not in the wand nor in the
words. It is not the voice,the mien, the
movement the tone, although it may
seem to bo iu all it is tne song of the
cuckoo—
That cry,
Which made me look a thousand ways,
Iu bush, anu tree, aLd sky.”
Jefferson s-id he listened enchanted
Patrick Henry but lie could not remeui
ber what he said. lie might as well
have tried to reproduce the music
ol the wind harp It was Charles Fox.
if we remember correctly, who said to
•he young man who told him that be
heard a most eloquent speech from
Burke, and could repeat every word of
it.“li was n t very < loqueut if vou could
remember the words.” ELquen eis
the toue ot the picture, rhythm of the
uiusic. A shrewd observer said that he
always remarked a peculiar cadence in
speech ; and is it non unusual foi elu
queuce to leave the hearer spiritualy ele
vatid in a manner for which the words
do not acc uiit Until men become in
sensible to this power,the newspaper wiii
not supercede the orator, nor the " cum
paign document” the stump speaker—
Editor's East/ Chair, in Papers Muga*
zine for December.
The Pursuit of Happiness In-
TEKEEhKED With.— Burnev O’To >le
and Patrick Moran stood before the bar
of the Fifty-seventh street police court
Barney had a black eye and a damaged
nose. B rney delivered a plain, unvu:
uislied tale :
Yer Honor, J was all on account ov
theeliction Fat he said that Hayes
wuz elected,and I said Tilden wuz dieted
“Tuin sez Pat, aggravatin’ iuike :
“Hooray for Hayes !”
“Hooray fer Tilden,” sez I.
“ A er uiistakiu’ iniirely,’ sez Pat.
“ *Yer one yerself,’ sex i.
“Whoop ! sez I > at
“Hooray !’ sez 1.
“And thereupon we agreed to settle
it loike gintlcuian an’ decide the elec
tion at wunst. i had g>t one in oo Pat’s
nose,and Pat had landed firnenst my eye.
and everything wuz illigiut, and J’i 1
den's prospects wor nivver brighter,
v hiu a polaceman came interferein loike.
an’ now there’s no telhn’ who would liev
bin elected at all.” and Barney and Pat
rick stepped down,, murmuring against
armed interference of the law 7 . — N. Y.
World.
What are They '. Life —A gleam
of light extinguished by the grave.
Fame—A meteor dazzling with its
distant glare
Wealth —A source of trouble and
consuming care.
Pleasure —A gleam of sunshine soon
passing away.
Love —A morning beam whose mem
ory gilds tlie day.
Faith —An anchor dropped beyoud
the v&le of death.
Charity —A stream meandering from
the fount of love.
Bible —A guide to realms of endless
joys above.
Religion—A key which onens wide
the gates of Heaven.
Death—A knife by which the ties of
earth are river.
Earth —A desert through which the
pilgrims wend their wav.
Grave A home of re t ‘vhore ends
life’s weary way.
Resurrection A sudden waking from
a quiet dr am
Heaven—A land of jov, of light and
love supi erne.
How to get Along.
Don’t stop to teil stories in •business
hours.
If you have a place of bu-incss, he
found there when wanted.
No man can get lieh setting around
stores and saloons.
Never “ fool iu busines: mattes.
Have order, system, regularity, and
also promptness.
Do not meddle with business you
know nothing of.
Do not kick every person that is in
your path.
More miles can he made in a day by
gnintr steadily along than by stopping.
Pav as you go.
A man of honor respects his word as
he does his bond.
Help others when you can. but never
give what you cmnot afford to, simply
because it is fashionable.
L; am to say no. N necessity of
snapping it out dog-fashion, hut say it
firmly and respectively.
U-e your brains, r**/ er than those of
others.
Learn to thirrk and act for yourself.
Keep ahead rather than behind the
tim s
The Troops.
The people of the U ited States have
become fearfully familiar with troops
sent about the country to overawe and
supervise and back up villi- ns and vil
lainies in the Southern States. It was
the appeaiance of these troops insubju
gated States that inspired ihe
crnce with which the North beheld the
usurpation of the power to send them
t ere. The gross character of the usurpa
tion has been aggravated by recent meas
ure of the administration; but, still.the
outrage has been confined to the South.
So still we ha-e the events of the
South discussed wit-i reference to the
questions of fraud and of fact, irrespec"
live of the presence of troops overlook
ing the civil proceedings in the “ poor
South. ” In the opinions and accord
ing to the principles of the fathers of
1776 the very presence of troi ps was
sufficient to vitiate civil proceedings—
proceedings supervised by those troops
No returns of votes for President-cast in
the presence of tnv ps, or counted under
military supervisions, would have been
received by the Congress in joint session
before the war. The election for Con
gress,held under military c ntrol.or un
der the overaweiog influence of military
power would have been considered in*
valid. A Virginia Governor at any
time before the war would have declar
ed an election in which the military so
interfered void.
War and peace cannot exist together
8o will this country learn.we fear—sad
ly learn—far too soon.— Richmond Dis<
(pitch.
Golfieii Saudis.
No liberal man can impute a charge
of unsteadiness to another lor changing
his opinion— Cicero.
Philosophy abounds more than phi
losophers, and learning more than learn
ed men—l 4. B C/ulow.
We are so desirous of vengeance that
people often offend us by not giving of
lenses. — Madame Deluzg.
We must always think our opinions
are right, but not think our opinions
are right always Whatcley.
Poetry is most just to its divine ori
ginuhen it administers the comforts and
breaths the thoughts of religion. —
Wordsicorth
A drainless renown of light is poesy ;
it L the supreme of power ; the night
half sluuibering on its owu right arm.
— Keats.
We have uore power than will; and
it is i fien by way of excuse to ourselves
that we fancy things are imposib'e.—
Rechefoucauld.
Power is s> characteristically calm
that calmness in itself has the aspect of
power, and f’ roeirance implies strength.
-—Bulicer Lj/tion.
Tlie greater part of men have an
opinion of their own, well reflected and
founded upon reason.— Seume.
Not to be abfi to Dear poverty is a
shameful thing, but not to know how to
chase it away by work is a more shame
ful tiling— Pericles.
Boggs and the Hornets.
Old man Boggs Wished to make some
slight reprirs on ifie tp of his residence
near v ineinuati, aud for this purpose
had occasion to rear up a few shingles.
In doing so in a quiet and inoffensive
manner.he was astonished to find be had
disturbed a hornets’ nest. The hornets
swarmed out upon Mr Boggs. They
mode it hot for him at the very firot out
set He rushed to the gadder, attack
ed from behind,when, horror of horrois
a neighbor had borrowed his ladder !
Mr. Boggs cavorted, he rol'ed, from one
end to the other, se earning as he went,
*• ladder, ladder ? The hornets eontiu
u ill increased ; they flew at h's nose,
his ea s, his checks ! he danced on his
forehead ; they crawled down his back;
they flew up his breeches leg; they met
hull wy and fought each other; they
stung hero and there and >vciywhere.
B"ggs’ wild gesticulations and terrific
shouts attracted the attenliun of the
whole neighborhood. His friends mis
touk the shouts of “Ladder ! "Home's !”
lor“Tiid n and Hendiieks/'and thought
lie was ratifying, but so much serious
ness was deuictnd on his f ice that a lad
dei WoS fiiiaily procured arid a rescue
effected. Mr. Boggs is laid up for re
pairs now, aud Ins face looks like the
newspaper pictures of a defeated prize
fighter. San Francisco Call.
Slow Sure. —The danger of early
et jiuenee baa been extended by some,
even to the gifts ol nature ; and an
opinion lies b’“en 'ong ceuceived that
quickness of invention, accuracy of
judguie.it or extent of knowledge, ap
pearing before the usual time presages
a short life. Even those who are less
inclined to form instances which by
their own nature must be rare, have yet
been inclined t> prognosticate no suita*
able progress from the bust sallies ot
rapid wits ; but h ;Ve observed, that af
ter a short effort they either loiter or
faint, and suffer themselves t., be sur
prised by the eveu and regular per
suverance of slower ur.de;standings.
The evening of every man’s life will
aoou be spent. The suu, though it may
. e up in uiidsheaveo, will pass swiftly
down the western sky and disappear. —
What shall ligh up inan'ff path when
the sun of life has gone down? He
must tr vel on to the next world; but
what will illumine his footsteps alter
the nightfall of death amid the dirk
tress of his journey.
In Advance.
JeMh Billinas tinide to ftleallti.
Nover run in det, not if you cm find
ennything else to run into.
Be honest if yu kan ; if yu kan’t be
honest, pray for help.
Be kind to your mother-in-law, aid
if necessarry pay her board at some good
hotel.
Bath tboroly wunce a week in soft
water and kasteel soap and avoid tUe
bools
Exercise in the open air, but don’t
saw wood until you are obliged to.
Laff every time yu feel tickled, and
laff once in a while anyhow.
Eat hash wash in days and be thank
ful. ev< n if you have to shut your eyes
to do it.
Hold the baby haff the time, and al
ways start the fire in the morning and
put on the tea kettle.
Dor’t jaw back—it only proves that
yu are as big a phool as the other phel
10.
Never borrow thatyu are able to buy.
and always have sum things yu won’t
lend.
Never git in a hurry ; yu can walk a
good deal further in a day than vu kan
run.
Don't swear, it may convince you.
but it is sure not to convince others.
It yu have daughters, let your w ife
bring them up; it she has got common
sense she can beat all your theoiy.
Duu’t drink too much nu cider and
however mean you may be don’t abuse
a cow.
Luv and respect your wife ennyhosv ;
it is a good deal cheaper than to be all
the time wishing she was some how dif
ferent.
Don’t phool with spiritualism ; it is
like being a moderate drinker, sure to
beat yu at last.
Don't have enny rules for long life
thatyu wo *’t break ; be prepared to day
t die to..morrow r , is the best kneed for
long life that I kno ov.
Keep your bed cowl and your feet dri,
and brathe through yo ir uoze us often
as y u kan.
A Boy’s Opinion oi Parents.
Parents were born to be a great troub
le to their offspring. When I wes ever
so little 1 remember l tried to hang up
the kitten by my whip !ash, and mother
took the kitten away, boxed my ears,
and went next day. So she had all the
fun herself. And father's worse than
mother, tie told me to take care of the
pennies and the dollars would take care
of themselves,so I and Ben Smith farm
ed an anti swearing club. We had a
rule that forever, profane word we used
we would pay a cent into the treasury.
We had 75 cents in the first day, but
when we divided and I fttched oTicts.
home, father was a bad business,
whipped me, and broke the club up. —
How is a fellow to know when he is do
ing right ? If I had no parents to hou~d
me around I’d beat George Washington
all holler, for I’d cut down every cherry
tree in the garden, and own it, too, If
I was an orphan l kn 'W what I’d do.
Ben Smith and me would go to a des
olate South Sea Island and stir up the
and the monkeys r.nd things, fry
toad stools,eat orangis a spell,then we’ll
make a ship and sail around the world.
W hat's the use of drying up in one place.
I told mother one day, when she would
not give me ten cents, that I meant to
go whaling and I hoped a whale would
swallow me as one did Jonah, and then
she wou'dn’t never see me again for I
couldn’t swim. She said 1 wouldn’t be
likely to make such a visit,"for I would
turn the whale’s sto each mighty quick
after 1 got there Wasn’t she bully?
If I were a r arent I know what I’d do
l’d keep still and mind my own bus
iness,and iet my children have some fun
There's Torn Getts who lives with his
aunt and has a bully time.
He goes wood chucking on Sundays,
has no best clothes, cfawls under the
canvass of every circus lent, earns mon
ey at every theatre, sleeps in the stable
when he likes, and always has I is pres
ets full of peanut*. He says he would
not be, bothered wih parents if he coulu
have ’em for nothing, and he thinks*if
l hadn’t any it would be money in my
pocket. Them’s my sentiments.
Fro mining People.
Promising people are those who prom
ise ami never perform—who promise to
do something for you the next day, but
the next day they are as tar from
yo x as they were un the one previous.
They get in the b .bit of promising, ami
promise to do things they never have
any idea rf fulfilling. You sell Mr. C
your best horse and are . ot paid for it,
but get the promise of him tu pay you
in a lew days; and so on from one day
to anuther you are kept waiting while
he is taking things as cool as a eucum
fer,and maybe never intends to pay you
otby in promises. We think if every one
were pad in accordance to assurances
they reeeivu from prominent people.they
would be paid ten times over. iSome ol
your friends tell you to Buy at home on
such a time for they are corn iug to \ isi
you ; you stay i hat day and a dt.xen oth
ers but your visitor nev r eouies. \Ye
think if every one would . fulfill their
prorni cs, they would be respected ahd
tru-ted. Per aps some will sty it is Dot
iu their power to luifiil all their prorni.
se, but w wonder why the” promise
anything they can never perform. Does
not every oue know some such ptople ?
Do you put any trust in them '(. Can
you alter being promised and disappoint
ed so many times : We answer as we
know you wo-uld- No.
NoW is the winter of our disconteut.
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quent insertion. Ten lines of this type
make a square.
Local notices, fifteen cents per lino for the
first inseition, and ten cents for each sub
sequent iflssrtion.
Special codtritct? will be made wi.h j.u
lies lesiring to advertise legulariy.
Bills for advertising are due any tiu.o
after first insertion, unless dtfiefwise nr
ged by coat ract.
NO. 16.
A Foolhardy Bau Cock to Sleep
with a Boa-Constrictor,
Sam Johnson of this city, formerly
Deputy Constable, came very near losing
hi life, and if he had there would have
been a general expression of opinion
that he tempted Ins fate by an exhi
bition of of singular fool ha diness and
a strange contempt of the most oiditm
ry prudence. For some tim Johnson
lad Ihe care of an immense snake of
the boa. const! ictor species r J his sweet
boon was left in Johnson’s charge by
the proprietor of one of ihc side-shows
that was with Howe’s circus on its last
visit to this place. The snake had bin n
sick, and feating that it v ou!d die if it
was carried about from place to place,
its owner made an arrangement with
Johnson to take care of it until such
time as it should be scut for again
appear in the exhibition. Ram has paid
all uceded attention to his snakosliip,
and the hnge boa lias quite recovered
trom h s illnesi under Ois consiuci 'to
and careful attention. Johnson hat
tried to establish friendly relations with
the snake, and fluttered himself th i he
had succeeded very well. Two ov ihro •
nights ago, when the weather turned o
suddenly and sevoiely cold, Jo] ih'u
found that the boa was benumbed vdii
cold and apparently half’dead. With a
strange disregard of consequences, '
took thujhaif froi*u snake trom its box
and placed it in his own warm find.from
which he had risen. He then returned
to bed, intending when the suako should
revive from its chilled and benumed'
condition to replace it in its box. In
lortunaUly Johnson fell into a doze, and
then in.o a deep sleep From his sound
slumber he awakened by a horri
ble sense of suffocation about his chest.
He awoke to fiud himself in the terru
ble coils of the boa constrictor, who had
been warmed to life and fury in John
son s bed. The unfortunate man coor
prehended in an instant his fearful dan
ger. Great drops of sweat starred to
his brew as in an agony of horror he
realized the nature of his peri'. With
ihe energy of despair he grasped the
snake with both hands, and, with almost
superhuman strength, and in a manner
he can scarcely recall, succeeded atlas f
in uncoiling it- hateful folds from his
body, dragged the struggling baa to its
box, and safely secured it in its olu
quarters. A severe nervous attack suc
ceed the fright fad horror the strange
combats had occasioned,and not another
wink did he sleep that night. IJe can
congratulate himself that he escaped so
easily, and that senseless temerity did
not receive the fatal punishment it :n
vited —Kansas City Mail.
Ogresaud Fiends In China.
Missionaries have not evidently
triven exaggerated accounts of the
credulity of the degrhdation of the Chi
nese character. Soochow and other
communties are now para lyzed with ter
ror over cats rats, paper figures and
ogres of all kinds, and the Chinaman is
a haunted being. Even in Shanghai
superstition is widespread. About the
middle of September a respectable na
tive was aroused by a great outcry in s,
house only two doors Irani his own, in
side the north gate of the city. Fou
young men were sleeping in one room,
and about two or three o’clock the door
suddenly opened, and in glided a gigar
tic figure, in human form, with a small
head and enormous hands. It advanced
with swift and stealthy, steps to the bed
of one of the yo ng men and assaulted
him most brutally, clawing his body
with its great paws until the flesh was
reduced to a jelly. His comrad-s s’art*
ed up simultaneously to p.otect their
companion, but the mysterious figun
stalked out of the door as silently as it
had entered, leaving the victim helpless
and bleeding. The worthy comprad uc.
who was summoned to the house, found
the wounded man in a precarious condi
tion. There was not the slightest doubt
about the aggravated nature of hi
wounds, although there was ample
ground fbr skepticism core ruing their
1 supernatural origin. Incidents like tE*s
have caused intense excitement among
ihe lower classes.- London Erx.
Tobacco Smoking.—The effects of
t >bacco smoking, as described by tbr
Scientific Auierin are, discoloring of
the teeth by carbon, excitement of ti e
saliva p y glur.Js uy the auiaicnia, head
ache and lassitude from the cub-onie ac
id, diseases of the heart from the car
bonic oxide, nausea from the bitter ex
tract, and a tainting of tho breath bv
the voluble cmpyreuma'ic substance.—
She system may become used to these
things, yet it is made liable to con
sumption, nervous exhaustion, paralysis
and aitmenfs. “Effects on individuals
likewise affect communities, these iu
turn inflceuce tlie nati n. No person
that smokes can be in perfect health,
and an imperfect organism cannot re -
produce a perfect one. Theiefbre it >
logical to conclude that, were smoking
the practice of every individual of *
nation, then that people would degene
rate into a physically inferior race."
There is a story of an English tonri *
who entered a restauruut, and by t
few scraps of French was able to order
dinner. He wished some mushroom- -
very delicious and large Not knowing
the nome he demanded a sheet of paper
and pencil to sketch one. The waiter
understood him in a a second, disap*
pcared fur ten minutes, and retuened
with i* splendid—uub rella !
An Indiana girl raised 930 pud . is
of tobaccu on a. quarter of an aero.