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The Calhoun Times.
oiunie I.
fcAIHOUN TIMES.
(vKRV rin'KSDAT morning, ur
i'Zfy MARSHALL.
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HA 11 jHOAPgi
WESTERS t ATI A XT I<\
Maur rAS9ESO*R train—outward.
re Atlanta -«-30 r. m.
at Calhoun.. 10.31 a. m.
vc a t Chattanooga 2.45 a. m.
DAY PASSKSGER THAIN—OUTWARD.
■a Atlanta -8.15 a. m
real Calhoun 12.4.1 v. m.
re at Chattanooga 4.25 r. M.
accomod tios train—outward.
* Atlanta 3.40 r. m.
re at Calhoun 10.08 p. m.
<• at Dalton 3.80 r. m.
XIGHT rASSKNGKR TRAIN—INWARD.
Cbaitanoogn 5.10 p. m.
re at Calhoun 8.56 p. M.
real Atlanta 1-42 A. M.
PAV PASSINGKR TRAIN—INWARD.
e Chattanooga 5.00 a. m.
re at Ctlhoun r.... 8 45 A. M.
re at Atlanta 1.38 P. m.
ACCOMODATION TRAIN—INWARD.
e Dalton 3 25 p. M.
re at Calhoun 4 46. p.m.
Atlanta 10.20 A. M
'ROFESSIONAL CARDS.
W. S. JOHNSON,
ttorney At Law,
CALIIOCX, GEORGIA.
rj|< o in Southeast corner of the
1 __ ts
IAIN. JOS. M’CONNELL.
fain and McConnell,
:<orn(\ys fit Law,
CAUIOrX, GEORGIA.
Office in the Court House.
sll 1 ts
AV. J. CANTRELL,
Itorney .A.t Law.
Calhoun, Georgia.
D E Practice in the Cherokee Circuit,
nt . S. District Court, Northern Dis
hf Georgia, (at Atlanta); and in the Su
! Court of the State of Georgia.
•A W R. Rankin,
ni tti Oa. Calhoun, Ga
'tIILLIPS & RANKIN,
■ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
OIUCTINQ SCENTS
Calhoun, Ga,
'ldr practice in the Courts of the
okee Circuit.
.1 » >ftiee North side Public Square.
E. J. KIK ER,
itorneyint Law,
CALHOUN, GEORGIA.
"!■ rt Old Stand of Cantrell X Kikrr. J
‘‘ practice in all the Courts of the
aeiokee Circuit; Supreme Court of
i 1 11 1 ihe l nited States District Court
t; >- augmOly
Jov - A. Martin,
-i ttorxey a t la ir,
WS »*A, - - - GEO.
IS7O ts
HOT' REEVES,
& Physician,
- - - GEORGIA,
, !l found at his office, in the Brick
1 Boaz, Barrett & Cos., day
Y —when not professionally engaged.
i.i, ,i,f
WALDO THORNTON,
dentist,
* - - Ga O.tGIA.
h for *ormer patronage, solicits
c °ntinuance of the same.
j c «t Residence. seplo
D. a HUNT,
Rician and Druggist,
_ CALJIOI\ yr, GA.
I>. TINSLEY
WATCH-MAKER,
. AND
jeweler,
•• • : : GEORGIA.
.* ot *ks, IV atches and Jewelry
?l9’7<nf PairC 1 war ranted.
{I:S Crashed" iy 1855.)
d.mathewson,
'“Roduce
'OIIsSION MERCHANT
UOIfSTA, GEORGIA.
1870 iv
TIN-WART
AND
Cooking Stoves!
W.T.HALL&BRO.,
WOULD inform the public that they are
prepared to fill all orders in the
Tin-Ware Line,
At as LOW PRICES as any similar estab
lishment in Cherokee Georgia.
Our work is put up by experienced work
men, and will compare favorably with any
in the country.
. — s — o
In these days of Freedom, every good
husband should see that the “goot wife”
is supplied with a good
CooULing Stove,
And We are prepared to furnish any size
or style desired at the Lowest Possible
Prices.
Give us a call. aull,tf
A. W.BALLEW,
DEALER IN
DRY-GOODS,
NOTIONS,
Boots, Shoes, Hats, Groceries,
Hardware, Queensware, &c.,
MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS,
FACTORY YARNS, SHIRTINGS,
AND
READY-MADE CLOTHING,
family groceries,
LIQUORS, ttoo.
Railroad Street, - - CALHOUN, GA.
Has just received and constantly receiv
ing, a fresh supply of
BACON, LARD, FLOUR, MEAL,
SUGAR, COFFEE, RICE,
CIGARS, TOBACCO,
CONFECTIONERIES,
Canned Fruits, Nuts, Oysters,
SARDINES, CHEESE, Sc
And, 111 fact, a full and complete assortment
of Staple and Fancy Groceries.
He also keeps one of the best Stocks of
WINES & LIQUORS,
in this part of the country.
If you want good, fresh Groceries, or Fine
Old Whiskies, Brandies, or Wines, give me
a call. febIG’TIGm
J. H. ARTHUR,
Healer in
STAPLE AXI) FANCY DRY , GOODS,
Cutlery, Notions &c,
Also keeps constantly on hand a choice
stock of
FAMILY GROCERIES,
Tll all of which purchasers are offered in
ducements.to buy.
Augl 11 Gm
J. X. B. COBB. JSO. W. WAI.KKR.
COBB ! WALKER,
AGENTS FOR
MR & RAKER’S
CELEBRATED
SEWING
MACHINE.
Every Machine Warranted to
keep in good running order.
ALSO ALUM'S FOI! GEN. LEE
MEMORIAL ASSOCIATION.
G. M. HUNT, Calhoun, Georgia , is author
ized to transact all our business during our
absence. marl6-6m
Oil ER OIV EE
MANIPACTURING CO.,
DALTON, GA.
Manufactures all Kinds of
IF’TJn.BfX'T'UiFLIEI,
Os the best material this country affords,
and very superior in style and workmanship,
which they offer to the public and the gen
eral trade, as low as can be afforded.
( hairs & Bedsteads a Speciality.
Blinds, Doors, Sash and Job Work, to or
der, on short notice.
Dr. D. G. Hunt is our Agent at Calhoun,
Ga., and keeps a good supply of Furniture
on hand. J. W. WALKER, Sup't.
L. D. Palmer, Secretary. aug26’7o-ly
HUM NOTH!
HnilE copartnership heretofore existing un-
J der the firm name of Ballew & Marshall,
is this day dissolved by niUtual consent—J.
W. Marshall retiring. The books of the
firm arc in the hands of .1. W. Ballew, who
will close up all the business of the late firm.
A. W. Ballew
J. W. Marshall.
Read Further 1
1 propose to continue the business at the
old stand, and am determined at all times to
keep a full and first-class stock.
sch 16,1 m A. W. BALLEW.
G. 11. & A. W.“force,
SIGN OF THE
BIG IRON BOOT,
Whitehall Street, : : : Atlanta, Ga.
BOOTS, Shoes and Trunks, a complete Stock
and new Goods arriving daily! Gents’
Boots and Shoes, of the best makes. Ladies’
Shoes of all kinds. Boys, Misses and Children’s
Shoes of every grade and make.
I-if" We are prepared to offer iadneements to
Wholesale Trade. sept2.V7o-ly
ANY QUANTITY of “Fine Virginia Leaf”
and Manufactured Tobaccos at
DeJOUBNETT & SON'S,
Cot:. Broad & Bridge sts., Rome,
LB. LANGFORD,! Wholesale and
Retail dealer in Stoves, Hollow-ware.
Tin-ware, Cutlery, fee Atlanta Georgia.
CALHOUN, GA.., THURSDAY, JULY 6, 1871.
POETRY.
Put M e in My Little Bed.
Oh! birdie, lam tired now,
I do not care to hear you sing ;
You’ve sung your happy songs all day,
Now put your head beneath your wing;
I'm sleepy too as I can be.
And sister, when my prayer is said,
I want to lay me down to rest,
So put me in my little bed.
Oh ! sister, what did mother say,
When she was called to.Heav’n away ?
She told me always to be good,
And nqver, never go astray;
1 caii't fdrget the day she died.
She placed her hand upon my head,
She whisper’d softly, “keep my child,”
And then they told me she was dead.
Dear sister, come and hear my prayer,
Now ere I lay me dpwn to, sleep.
Within my Heavenly Father’s care,
While angels bright their vigils keep ;
And let me ask of Him above
To keep my soul in paths of Right,
Oh ! let me thank Him for His love,
Ere I shall say my last “good night.”
Chorus :
Come sister, come, kiss me good night,
For I my evening prayer have said;
I’m tired now and sleepy too,
Come, put me in my little bed.
Uncle Isaac Watts-his-name never beat
the following for tender sentiment and
prophetic meaning:
IIoW doth the little busy brats
Improve upon their toyS,
And find new pleasure every day
In some unearthly noise.
What pains they take to find a box
And rig it with a string,
That they may rack our quiv’ring nerves
With the infernal thing.
Let dogs delight to bark and bite,
Their discord we can bear;
. Let turkey gobblers, pigs aiid hens,
Their seudments declare—
But, children, you should ne’er be let
To torture those tin cans ;
Our ear drums were not made to split,
Nor any other man’s-
MISOEIiIiANY.
STRANGE PHENOMENA.
Tlic Bottom of New Jersej Drop
ping Out.
New York, June 23. —The bottom
is dropping out of the State of New
Jersey. In Warren county during the
past few days, a number of deep holes
have suddenly been made by the earth
sinking down into some fearful, unknown
subterranean depths. The first noticed
was in the bottom of the Morris ahd
Essex canal on the seven mile level be
tween Broadway and New Village. All
the water in the canal went down that
hole, then half a dozen more holes
opened in the corn fields and woods,
taking down into the bowels of the earth
great patches of corn and even sinking
trees out of sight. In addition to this
there are scores of great long and deep
fissures. Then, on Wednesday night,
another big bole opened in the canal.—
Rumbling noises were heard under the
Methodist church on Broadway, and no
body will venture into the building for
fear of its going down. The wildest
excitement prevails among the people,
who deem that any given spot of land
in all that country is liable to plunge
through half way to China at any mo
ment. Prices of ’•eal estate have natu
rally gone down, as the real estate itself
has. The Morris and Essex canal is
utterly ruined. Its course must be al
together changed to avoid this district if
it is intended to ever hold water enough
for a sunfish to float in.
A Touching- Incident.
I once knew a lawyer, great in his
profession and great as a man. He
would pause on his way to the court
house, where life and death, through
God’s permission, hung upon his words,
to speak a word of comfort or couusel
and give a needed dollar to an indigent
beggar by the wayside; he would turn
from a crowded court-house, where hearts
had laughed and wept at his bidding,
and wend his step homeward to caress
his wife, smile lovingly upon her little
successes, counsel tenderly upon her lit
tle failures, and to romp and play with
his children. Such a man I knew once.
It was worth all of life to have known
him. This man died ere the full merid
ian of life shone upon his honored head
and I continued to know his widow.—
In course of years she married again,
and raised up children by this marriage.
It seemed to be quite a point with her
to assure them that she loved their
father full as well as her first husband.
I thought that I detected that this was
as much to persuade herself as them,
and felt curious to know the truth; so
upon an occasion after she was done ut
tering these assurances, I turned quick
ly to her, and said :
“ Suppose an angel were to appear
now before you, and say, ‘ Will you have
your first husband back,’ what would be
your answer ?”
In an instant the tears crushed from
her eyes, her voice trembled, and, with
arms outstretched to Heaven, she ex
claimed :
“ I would say, oh give him to me !
give, give him to me !” The next in
stant her hands fell beside her. her head
dropped back, and, pale as death, she
murmurred, ‘ It was cruel, Susan !”
This was after she had been married
twenty-three years to the second hus
band, and gray hairs crowned her brow
with their pure glory ; and I give it to
show how long such a man as I have de
scribed lives in the hearts of those left
behind, in unabated love and honor.—
Oh, that earth possessed more such !
hxcited Frenchman at Niagara Falls
—“Ah, dis is dc grand specktakel 1 Su
parb ! Magnifique ! By gar, he is coming
down first rate !”
From the Atlanta Constitution.
f l »
The Radical Administration of tlie
State Road—Startling Figures.
The Gaskill-Blodgett indictment has
directed a very general attention to the
Radical management of the State Road,
and created a desire to get at tlie official
details of that administration.
This desire has not been diminished
by the fact that when the railroad books
were called for by the grand jury of this
comity, those in charge refused to pro
duce them, and it was not until the
court issued a peremptory order, placing
the unwilling custodians titider penalty
for contempt that the tell tale volumes
were forthcoming. This reluctant pro
duction of these books bodes no good
revelations- Still the people would like
to know something of the truth.
We have it in our power .to make a
few specimen extracts that give an in
sight into the astounding reality. The
Auditor’s book shows the stupendous
payments for the years 1869 and 1870.
Here they are.
auditor’s book —1860.
Jan’y, 81 warrants paid §205,789 25
Feb’y 71 “ “ 245,984 13
March 71 “ “ 192,648 28
April 87 “ “ 196,022 68
May 57 “ “ 205.995 82
June 74 “ 159,124 81
July 95 “ “ 178,064 51
August 86 “ “ 200,674 46
September 84 “ 99,593 28
October 66 “ “ 248,287 76
November 71 u 11 248 327 4-5
December 88 “ “ 249,379 98
§2,429,992 42
auditor’s book —1870.
Jan’y, 80 warrants paid §369,841 31
February 76 “ “ 354,484 04
March 85 “ “ 363,263 10
April 109 “ “ 303,555 36
May 79 “ “ 305,375 86
June 63 “ “ 232,547 34
July 79 “ “ 190,239 98
August 69 “ “ 259,885 64
September 48 “ <l 186,646 94
October 65 “ “ 297,346 68
November 66 u “ 168,449 43
December 107 u u . 159,866 17
§3,100,591 55
Grand total for 1869
and 1870 §5,530,583 97
Expenses for 1870
over 1869 670,599 13
Five millions and a half for two years,
and ail inbreaSe of over half a million
for the last yea! makes an aggregate of
Radical liberality with. ~the., people’s
money, that only needs for iilustratitioli
one or two items of compromises for the
State’s interest at the cost to the State
of such little plums as §8,50 0 for the
benefit of some lucky and sharp witted
State Road employee.
We do not propose to give all of our
specimens at once, but to present them
in broken doses
It may not be unsuitable to offset
against the Brobdignagdian figures
above presented, a smaller array of items
that enter into the grand aggregate, but
at the same time that are hardly lets in
structive and full of suggestions thah
the big sums. For instance, the follow
ing is diminutive iu magnitude but very
loud in emphasis :
1870.
Western & Atlantic Railroad.
To A. L. Harris, Dr.
December 26,
For services rendered extra during the
year 1870, from January Decem
ber 31st, as Supervisor, §1,200.
This bill. No. 74, December 26, 1870.
Approved. “N. P. Hotchkiss.”
Auditor.
The mammoth functionary, Mr. A.
L. Harris, supervisor of railroads and
legislatures.’ ahd versatile factotum-in
gencral for his Excellency, not only
drew his salary with commendable punct
uality,for which the state tfaS entitled
to his whole valuable time, but as will
be 3een above, farmed out parts of bis
cor porosity on extra duties during su- j
pernatural hours. During the same year, ;
1870, we find that this briarean func
tionary extracted from the accommoda
ting State Road Treasury some twenty
seven hundred additional dollars for the
use by the road of a certain switch ap-
pertaining to the aforesaid mighty man
of diversified parts.. And the use of
this switch may possibly account for the
frequent smash-tips that year.
Mr. E. B. Pond, proprietor of the
National Hotel, drew atone time £1,050
and at another time £SOO. These items
have an unctuous mark. They are
stamped with that suggestive and mouth
watering brand, known to the initiated
as “bar-bill.” To the uninitiated, we
Would state that this means jolly,luscious
drinks, and lots of them. The Attorney
General to his gubernatorial lordship
had a good time. Tie got according to
these eloquent bookss3o per month, and
this sometimes three and four months
in advance.
We shall have to close up this delii'i
crifs expose for the present, concluding
with the production of the queer but
eloquent statistical pecuniary fact, that
Mr. Blodgett is credited with $125 per
month for rent; ditto Mr. Hotchkiss;
while that immaculate, versatile and pa
triotic giant, Mr. Harris, legislative re
constructor under the grace of Lord
Rufus, switch-inventor, railroad super
visor, ex-postmasier, useful Jack-at-all
trsdes. and general Radical giaseutus
in-ehief for political and pecunious pur
poses. was satisfied with the more mod
est sum of SB3 per month for rent. —
All hark the mode«t Harris !
To destroy ants, the best plan is to
catch the ant with a pair of tweezers.and
hit him square on (he head with a shoe
ha miner.
HILL AND YANCEY.
Their Personal Difficulty in the
Confederate Senate.
The Columbia (Tcnn.) Herald of the
16th Ims the following ;
Among the many events of personal
interest that transpired in the South
during the late war, but few are of
more dramatic character or aroused
deeper interest among our people, than
the unfortunate personal difficulty which
took place in the Confederate States
Senate at Richmond during its secret
session, between William L. Yancey, of
Alabama, and Mr. Ben. 11. Hill, of
Georgia.. Several different and conflict
ing versions of this affair have been
given through the Southern press; but
rione has yet been published that ac
cords with a statement we recently de
rived from a gentleman who was at the
time a Senator, and an eye witness to
all that transpired on the occasion.
The difficulty had its origin in the
heated political contests so common in
this country prior to the breaking out
of the war. It was when Yancey, with
his dazzling eloquence was firing the
Southern heart,” that a barbecue, at
tended by thousands, was given in one
of the Southern counties of Georgia.—
It was here that Hill and Yancey met,
the one, the bold and eloquent defender
of the Union, and the other, the boasted
champion of secession; and during the
debate which ensued, words were uttered
that caused an estrangement that was
, never afterwards reconciled.
The two had met again in tlie Con
federate Senate, both doubtless smarting
under the recollection of past conflicts,
and entertaining no kindly feeling for
each other. It was when the cause of
the South was drooping, and every pa
triot heart was heavy with despondency
and gloom, that Mr. Yancey, rising in
his place in the Senate, declared that
war could no longer be carried on with
any hope unless many of the constitu
tional restraints and embarrassments
were thrown aside; and boldly advo
cated a radical change in the govern
ment to meet the demands of the pub
lic and the exigencies of the hour.
Upon the conclusion of Mr. Yancey’s
remarks, Mr. Hill promptly arose to re
ply. The scene was one of the most in
tense excitement. He deprecated the
opinion advocated by Mr. Yancey, and
proceeded with great severity to review
his past political career, running back
to the beginning of the times when our
sectional troubles were first being agi
tated. He said Mr. Yanfcejr, not satisfied
with having warred Upon dnd disrupted
the old Union, was now crying out
against, atld endeavoring to subvert and
breax down the Confederate Govern
ment. When Mr. Hill concluded, the
excitement, already at white heat, was
increased beyond anything ever before
witnessed during those troublous times.
Mr. Yancey arose and in a calm, digni-
fied. and self-poised manner peculiarly
his own, commenced his reply. He de
scribed Mr. Hill as repeating slanders
that had been uttered against him for
the past t wenty years, and that all which
Mr. Hill tittered had been said innumer
able times before by every third-rate
politician in the country ; and continued
by saying, “ nature had designed the
Senator from Georgia as an imitator;
that he had been cast id a Certain die,
and it was vain to attempt to enlarge
his dimensions.”
Pallid with rage, Mr. Hill mounted
to his feet, seizing a heavy glass ink
stand, hurled it with all his might and
power at the head of Mr. Yancey, which,
grazing his forehead, plowed its way to
the skull and passed on its furious course,
crushing a heavy window-facing beyond.
Without turning his head, Mr. Yancey,
who was at the time addressing the
Speaker, continuing his speech, delib
erately remarked, “ it is always the pre
rogative of cowards to strike from the
rear.” Enraged still more at this re
mark. Mr. Hill, gathering a chair,
rushed upon his antagonist, who, heed
less of the attack, was continuing his re
marks as calmly as if nothing had hap
pened. when a number of Senators in
terposing, the difficulty was ended.—
Mr. Yancey’s wound bled most profusely,
and a scene of the utmost confusion pre
vailed.
It has several times been stated since
Mr. Yancey's death, that it resulted
from injuries received in this recont-re,
but such is not the fact, as he died from
a disease that could in no way have
been superinduced by this cause.
Our cords are clumsy. Strand by
strand and rope b v rope we twist our
cables; yet we dare not lengthen them
too far for fear their own weight would
break them, and in the strain of the
tempest the strongest fly asunder like
flax in flame, (rod spirit his cords so
line that except in diffracted light you
cannot see them ; but these cords of his
are seldom broken. You befriend a
youth or relieve a stranger, and you
think no more about it till on a distaut
day, perhaps in a foreign land, in some
hour of need, help is raised, and in your
deliverer you recognize the object of
your former bounty. And just as in
such an instance, help, by a mystic clue,
the little seed which you east on the wa
ters comes back into your bosom a loaf
us bread, so the old spying also holds
true, and curses come home to roost.
Cleveland, Ohio, has a Snolligoster’s
Society. Happy Cleveland. Ohio !
.Buffalo, New York, has to worry along
as best she can with only a Golliposter
ousbollywhopper’s Union. .. .
A life-size bust of the late General
Bee is being made by Miss Alice Cooky,
of Natchez.
Josli Billings on Hotels.
I don’t know of any business more
bettersome than the tavern business.—
There don’t seem to be anything to do
but to stand in front of the register with
the pen behind thg ear and see the
guests enter the house, tank, jhe hell
six Or seven times, then tqll John to
show the gentleman to 976. and then
take four dollars and fifty cents from the
poor devil of a traveler and let him
went.
This seems to be the whole thing.and
it is the whole thing in most cases.
You will discover the following de
scription a mild one of about nine hotels
out of ten between the Pacific and At
lantic oceans, across the United States
in a straight line.
Your room is thirteen foot five inches
by nine feet seven inches, parrullello
grarnic
Your rooni is on the uttermost floor.
The carpet is ingrain—ingrained with
dust, kerosene oil and ink spots of four
generations.
There is two pegs in the room to hitch
coats on to ; one of tliem broke off. and
the other pulled out and missing.
There is one towel on the rack, thin
but wet.
The rain water in the pitcher came
from the well.
The soap is as tough to wear as a
whetstone.
There are three chairs, cane seaters,
one is a rocker, and all three are bursted.
There is a match safe—empty.
There is no curtain on the window,
and there don’t want to bo any; you
can’t see out, who can see in ?
The bell rope is come off about six
inches this side of the ceiling.
The bed is a modern slat bottom with
two mattresses, one cotton and one husk,
and both harder and about as thick as a
sea biscuit.
You enter the bed sideways, and can
feel every slat at. once as easy as you could
the ribs of a gridiron.
’l’he bed is inhabited.
You sleep some, but roll over a gcod
deal.
For breakfast you have a gong, and
Rio coffee to melt butter, fried
potatoes which resemble the chips trat
a two inch auger makes in its journey
through an oak log.
Bread, soiled beefsteak about as thick
as a blister plaster, and as tough as a
hound’s ear.
Table covered with plates,a few scared
to death pickles on one of them, and a
few fly indorsed crackers on the other.
A pewterinktum castor with three
bottles in it, one without any mustard
in it, one without any pepper, and one
with two inches of drowned flics and
some vinegar in it.
Servant girl with hoops on, hanging
around you earnestly, and wants to know
if 3 r ou want another cup of coffee. You
say “ no ma’am, I thank you,” and push
hack your chair.
You haven’t enough to pay for pick
ing your teeth.
Counsels for tlie Young.
Never be cast down by trifles. I!* a
spider breaks his thread twenty times,
twenty times will he mend it again.—
Make up your mind to do a thing and
you will do it. Fear not, if troubles
come upon you; keep up your spirit
though the day be a dark one.
“Troubles never stop forever ;
Tlie darkest day will pass away.”
If the sun is going down, look up at
the stars; if the earth is dark,keep your
eyes on heaven. With God’s presence
and God’s promises, a man or a child
may be cheerful.
“Never despair when fog's in the air ;
A suu shiny morning comes without warn
. in s-”
Mind what you run after. Never be
contented with a bubtile that will burst,
or firework that ends in smoke and dark
ness. Get that which you can keep,
and which is worth keeping.
“Something sterling, that will stay
When gold and silver pass away.”
Fight hard against a hasty temper.
Anger will come, but resist it stoutly.
A spark may set a house on fire. A fit
of passion may cause } r ou to mourn all
the days of your life.
“He that revenges knows no rest;
The meek possess a peaceful breast.”
If you have an enemy, act kindly to
him, and make him your friend. You
may not win him over at once, but try
again. Let one act of kindness be iol
lowed by another, till you have accom
plished your end. Little by little great
things arc accomplished.
“Water falling day by day,
Wears the hardest rock away.”
And so repeated kindness will soften a
heart of stone.
Whatever you do, do it willingly. A
boy that is whipped to school never
learns his lesson well. A man that is
compelled to woi\ cares not how badly
it is performed. He that pulls off his
coat cheerfully, strips up his sleeves in
earnest, and sings while he works,is the
man for me.
“A cheerful spirit gets on quick;
A grumbler in the mud will stick.”
Evil thoughts are worse enemies than
lions and tigers ; for we can keep out of
the way of wild beasts, but bad tnoughts
win their way everywhere. The cup
that is full will hold no more; keep your
head and heart full of good thoughts,
that bad ones may have no room to'enter.
“Be on your guard, pnd strive, and pray.
To drive *ll wicked thoughts away.”
Fasten a nail or key to a string and
suspend it to your thumb and Anger,
and the nail will oscillate like a pendu
lum. Let someone place his open hand
under the nail, and it will change to a
circular motion. Then let a third per
son place his hand upon your shoulder,
and the nail becomes stationary
iSrnmbev 4" .
VARIOUS ITEMS.
The great ocean race—Fishes.
A two foot rnle—Don’t stumble.
Dry goods—Crackers and codfish.,
An ill bred man—A sick baker
Right on the tap—Our shoemakers.
The Indians call a locomotive the
“Coughing Hoss.”
When is a mother a father ? When
she's a sighcr.
Mother Eve’s birch is mentioned as
the first llurry-Cain.
A Chicago paper has doubled its cir
culation. It's got another suberiber.
To drain your land, drink whisky
. 4i id spend your time in saloons.
Common sense is in all kinds
ot business except love-making.
The great Mongol Lama Aneumanal
Dshbsumadombakutukteunalda is dead.
Vi hy are types like criminals ? Be
cause they shouldn’t be locked up until
the proof is taken.
It’s just about as sensible to undertake
to get mairied without courting as to try
to do business without advertising.
o
“I thought 3’ou told me doctor, that
Smith’s fetei* had gone off.’' ‘Oh yes.
blit it and Smith went together.”
A Aew’ York editor says : “ Fashion
able garter? are blue velvet, gold mount
ed.” How does the fellow know that?
Tt is safer to affront some people thjtn
to oblige them ; for the better a man de
serves, the worse they speak of him.
A Cincinnati man got rid of his
mother-in-law by greasing the cellar
steps with soft soap.
“Stilt ’ is the subject of a school bot’fl
latest composition : ‘ The salt is a spice
which spoils the potatoes, if you* forget
to put it on.”
A Wisconsin postmaster has written
to W ashington for “some eternal revenu
stomps,” saying he has “sevrel cols for
them.”
The newest Southern paper is the
Charleston Wasp. Its mctlo is “Stand
from Under,” or else drop your pluuder
aud “vamose.”
A wag lent a clergyman a horse,
which ran away and threw him, and then
claimed credit for “aid in spreading the
gospel.”
A ten-ye-ir-ol<L.miss told her mother,
the othes day, that she was never going
to marry, but meant to be a widow be
cause widows dressed in such nice black,
and always looked so happy.
It has just been discovered that noth
ing will make a woman so mad as loot
ing for her night cap after the lamp has
been put out.
A nice pious old man thought his ox
en laid out strength brushing away the
dies, so he tied bricks to their tails.—
The plan worked well until one of the
bricks struck the old man on the head.
The oxen’s tails are loose now.
A thick-headed squire being worsted
by Sidney Smith in an argument took
his revenge by exclaiming : “If I had
a sen who was an idiot, by Jove, I’d
Inake him a parson !” “ Very proba
ble,” replied Sidney. “ but I see your
father was of a different mind.”
A young gentleman of Pittsfield, Mass
has recently involved himself in a diffi
culty by stealing empty bottles from the
back door ol‘ a drugstore, and then car
rying them round to the front door and
selling them to the owner.
A “citeysun” of Chicago writes the
Sanitary superintendent of that city,
that “Thur hav bene 3 bade cases ov
coloro in the beastment ov the ouse nom
bur 167 nmdersone Strete, and sum
moor woll di sune cf taint Locked after
by sum ov The city hoficers.”
An Elmira, New York, shoemaker is
immensely amused at the way an old
rat on his premises has been fooled.—
The thrifty rodent has gone through a
box of shoe pegs, and put away about a
quart of them for winter use, under the
belief that they are oats.
A Dutchman was relating his marvel
ous from drowning, when thir
teen of his companions were lost bv the
upsetting of a boat, and he alone es
caped. “And how did you escape their
fate?” asked one of his hearers. “I
tid not go in te pote,” was the Dutch
man’s placid reply.
A big moonstruck youth came finding
around a house in Lexington, the other
night, with a guitar and a creaky
voice, singing “ Put Me in My Little
Bed.” A window was finally opened
and the gentleman informed that if he
didn’t “dust” they would “stand him on
his little head.”
A negro having been fcfpftght before
a magistrate, and convicted of pilfering,
the magistrate began to remonstrate :
“I)o you know how to read ?”
“Yes, inassa. little.”
“Well, don’t yon never make use of
the Bible ?”
“Yes, mapwr, strap the razor on him
sometimes.”
A Drug clerk in Newark recently pur
up a prescription fora young lady friend
of a dose of castor oil. Bhe innoce?*ly
inquired how it could be taken without
tasting. He promised to explain to her,
and in the meantime proposed to drink
a glass of soda water with her. When
he Hadfhrished, lie said : “My friend,
you ’nave taken your oil an*? did not
know it.” The young lady was nearly
crazy, and cried : “Oh dear, it wasn’t
for myself I wanted the oil } it was for
my mother !’’