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mioun tnn:s. • , ,<|iKPKVEBV THURSDAY MORNING #B Y {VA I ' 3C4 USHAJj Tt* TER** or SUBSCRIPTION. ~ One Year : : 1.00 M° nths : ' ' . ™ Subscription* payable in advance; f>- t ( ; xl ,irution of the time paid for, ' r ',io .Sly renewed, the subscriber'. • “I,T b . .iricken front our hooks. n anic "m u , , ' BAILP«OADSk vfestem & Atlantic. Nir „T rA**™™ TUAI.N-OUTWAUD. >|G -• • ..i:, ..10.30 r. m. 'tire Atlanta .. • - A. ts. Arn ;e e a # ; «M A * Arn nA rrA«««B THAW-OCTWABD. ltA 8.15 A M J(taTC Atliin*' 1 --* ‘V.V...V..12.49 p. 3*. 'Cfciunoo** 4 ' 2i ’ p * M * A „ iO XB« YOBK—OOTWABD. I*" 1 " ' oi r t n u ■a-are *.*.*. V *.6 51 v. u. \rri*e» l i..7.5i r. m. •igtif b’AßS«so»t tha!x—ixwA«P. irri»e ut . #^“' h o 0 ’'* 1.45 a. m. oav *a*«n««“ TEAW-WWABD. U« l’hattan.;| [[[[['.['.[['ln I'. u.' is;:S A.ianta::::.:. .*» K *• ACCOIIODATIO.N TUAIX, INWAKO. 005 p m J.eave 3 20 r M Arrireat Ulnonn !.9.10 a. m Arrive at Allan .i •••• - PROFESSIONAL CAROS. \V. s. JOHNSON, attorney j\.t T^aw, (>[ fjiorx, GEORGJA. office in Southeast corner of the *tfr : , |% .ms. M COKNBLIri fain and McConnell, At t s si* J^aw, CMllOf'S\ GEORGIA. offic- in the Court House. !_ t s W f J.; CANTRELL, ( \Hoi*in\v At Ln,\v. Haliioux, Georgia. *•711,1. Practice .in the Cherokee Circuit, U' in U. 8. District, Court, Northern Dis ' (oft „'a,, fat Atlanta); and in the Su j r ;m • Court of the State of Georgia. IE .f . KIKER, /Ittorn o at JL& aw , 'c \UK)t'.V, GEORGIA. t ~ni the l)!il Stand of Cttn'rell <j' Kilcrr. J i it ll,!, practice in all the Cottß.S of the \\ (!,i >rok.!e Circuit; Supreme Cotirt of ;;..or-ri 1 . an 1 th • United States District Court t \ lantft, Ga. »agl»’76fcy Bov. -A.- Martiaa., ATTORNEY AT LA IF, DAHLONEGA, - - - GEO. Nov 10 1870 ts (Jin.Wm i"<iu.!76, W. H. Rankin Marietta, Oa! Calhoun, Ga 9 A i roRSKYS AT LA ll', —AND — Collecting- -Vgents, t'dlhoun, Ga. \v — ;o: , i* H Ilil- practice in the Courts of the Cherokee Circuit. 1.-.’}. Office North side Public Square. 3 >r. S>. (i. Hunt, Pliysiciim and Druggist, CAIRO CH, GA. DR. W. J 7 WMM, Surgeon X’ Physician, ■ V f.HOUN, - - - GEORGIA, ’ll C. l,> fiuinl at his office, in the Brick M s:.»re of II >;u, Bnrrett A* Cos., day ’ r niglit—when not professionally engaged: jan'JG'Tltf RUFE WALDO THORNTON, HENTISTii t'luioux, ... O, r, toiA. P I VililT!, for r *mm'r paironnge. solicits 1 a continuance P the same. Clficc at Residence. scpls • s. T. PARKER^ i'- 1 sn io v. iiti. e ri i loi;. fbvr.u aktuvr’s stoiiu.) t A LIIOUN, - - Georgia. • articular pains taken with cutting gar uients tor ladies to make. Ml. F. M. JOHNSON, D E JST T T S T . OFFICE OVER S. AND M. LIEBMAN'S STORE, ■ Main Street, Cartersville Ga. gy s prepared to perform all operations per Liming to his profession, in the latest Tmlmost approved style mn r.owm WATCHMAKER, AND JEXWHSJLmJESXI, Carttrsvi:ie, . -■ - ■* Georgia^ _ 'j'T' f° r sale Clocks & Jewelry. Repair |-‘r ■; one on reasonable terms and warranted 1 Pve satisfaction. mar.30.’71-3m. 1)7 TINSLEY. WATCH-MAKER. Jeweler ■U//OUX : : : « GEORGIA. - o A ■ - stylos of Clocks, Watclietfaml Jewelry •’rally repaired and warranted. au g O’TOtf - • wrn-tp-wt 7j • 'iw 7 w . c. baker. Ut lATTILLO & BAKER, o < Dealers in G'oeeries and Confectioneries, G aHcrsville, Ga, ' paid# for produce. april27’7l-Gm. as. kTwylie, ivhoiiale grocer, —and— -ommiß 8i o u Ale rc h au t, nt ‘ eht s ' - - - Atlanta.(feo. The Calhoun Times. VOL. 11. r<> Wiiom Shall we. Give Thanks ? A little boy had sought the pump From whence the sparkling water burst, And drank with eager joy the draught That quenched his raging thirst ; 'Then gracefully touched his cap— I thank you, Mr. Pump, he said, For this nice drink you’ve given me. (This little boy had been well bred). Then said the pump: My little man, You’re welcome to what I have done; But lain not the one to thank— I only help the water run. Oli, then, the little fellow said, (Polite be always meant to be), Gobi water please ttccep’t fay thanks, You have been very kind tome. Ah ! said cold water, don’t thank me, For up the hillside lives the Spring That sends me forth with generous hand To gladden every living thing. I'll thank the spring, then said the boy, And gracefully lie bowed his head. Oli, don’t thank me, my little man, The spring with silvery accents said. O, don’t thank me—for wliat am I Without the dew and summer rain? Without tiicif- aid I ne’er could quench Your thirst, my little boy, agaiti- Oh, well, then, said the little boy, I’ll gladly thank the rain and dew. Pray don’t thank us—without the sun We could not fill one cup for you. Tltctt( Mr. Svih, ten thousand thanks For all that you have done for me. Stop ! said the sun, with blushing face, My littlefellew, don’t thank me; ’Twas from the Ocean’s mighty stores 1 drew the draught I gave to thee. Oli, Ocean, thanks! then said the boy, Jt echoed back, not unto me. Not Utttb me, but unto Him Who formed the depths in which I lie, Go give thy thanks, 1113' little boy, To Him who will thy wants supply. The boy took off his cap, and said, In tones so gentle and subdued, Oh, (Jod, 1 thank Thee for this gift, Thou art the giver of all good. MY LIFE. History of Nobodywrv Particular. CHAPTER I. —OF NIY BIRTH. I couldn’t help it, or it certainly should not have occurred. I am told I was a fine child. I have, however, derived but small comfort from the reflection in after years. I should have prefeired being born smaller, and leaving off growing a foot of so beyond where t stopped. CIIAP. II. —MY YOUTH. I father imagine I must have been an awfully objectionable young cub when I was a boy. Diligent inquiries have only tended to confirm me in this impression. CIIAP. 11l —MY LOVE MAKING. I got engaged very early in life under the delusion that I was in love. Until I had been married some years l never found out my error. CIIAP. IV. —MY WEDDING. It appeared to give general satisfac tion. The little boys outside the, church cheered us tremendously, and threw up their caps. One of them hit me on the nose. I think, that, perhaps, the beadle treated the whole affair with marked in difference, but this may only have been fancy. CIIAP. V. —MY HONEYMOON. I remember for thq first day or two I smiled a good deal without any particu lar reason. . , , ... I rather think I rather thought I had done something clever. Since then my opinion has altered. CHAP. VI. —MY MARRIED LIFE GENER ALLY. Os course wc are fond of one anoth er. Os course we occasionally quarrel —occasionally several times a day. CIIAP. VII. —MY FAMILY. My children have been very dear to me. I should say they had stood me in a thousand dollars a" head all round, iu dtrsive of two ttvifis who died teething. CIIAP. VIII. —MY BUSINESS. I am in the hardware line. I don’t particularly like it—though perhaps the line would be harder were it any other sort. I came into my father’s business when he died. I dare say my son will succeed me. I have had ideas of other trades from time to time—sucTi as poetry and tight rope walking—but have never gone thor oughly into the matter. CIIAP. IX. —MY BANKRUPTCY. That was a mere detail. I should have failed without it. CHAP. X. MY HEALTH. I generally say I am “nicely’’ when questioned. I have no settled idea upon that subject. CHAD. XI. —MY HABITS AND CtJSTO'MS. I go to town on the omnibus every morning, and return every evening. Then I have dinner. Afterward I go to sleep. CHAP. XII. MY DEATH —WHEN IT HAPPENS. I should like to have a handsome tomb-stone, with as many of my virtues as can be got on it without crowding. A Fuss in the Family. —“ Wall, I guess there’s a little row over at our house.” “ What on aiith’s the matter ?” “ Why, dad’s got drunk, mother’s washin’, the old cow’s got a calf, Sal’s got married and run away with the spoons, Seth’s swallowed a gin, and 17ou is looked at the Aurora Boiix till he s . got the delirious triangles. r lhat ain t all of it nufher. llose the batter box and broke the pan cakes, and one of the maltese kittens has got her head, into the molasses cup aud l can t get it out, and oh. how hungry I am.” CALHOUN, GA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 1871. From (be Constitution. GRAMMAR SCHOOL EXTRA ORDINARY. Young America in Parsing—Red headed Girls Demand Immedi ate KxeCtttioii of the Little Imps! Editors Constitution : At the recent splendid Exhibition of Mie “ Lee High School,” m Greensboro, Ga., a class of small sprouts three feet high, and in prodigious standing collars, got off the following specimen of their progress in parsing. The audience was speechless, and many hands were lifted in horror : Teacher—Parse man. Pupil—Man is a common noun of the feminine gender. Teacher —What’s that, sir ? Ptiffil—Mail is a Common noun of the feminine gender—common, ’cause he can be bought cheap; and feminine gender ’cause he’s always got women on the brain; Bth person, ’cause his wife and six children come first—is in the objective ease and governed by a woman. Teacher—Go to your seat, sir, and {hit a Wet cloth on your head. Teacher—Next, parse Wotnati. Pupil—Woman is a female noun of the masculine gender. Teacher—Mercy on us ! what do you say, sir? Pupil—She’s a female noun of the masculine gender—masculine,’cause she wears the breeclialoonsand is determined to voote; she’s compounded of cotton, whalebone, starch, smiles, sunshine and thunder clouds—is in the first person, ’cause she’s, always the person speakiug; plural number, ’cause she makes more neise than half a dozen parrots—is in the objective ease and governed by the fashions. Teacher —Sit down, Sir, and rinse your mouth with prophylactic fluid. Teacher—Next, parse boy. Pupil—Boy is an uncommon noun, of the goslin gender and female persua sion. Teacher —Thuuder and blackjacks ! Wliat is that, sir ? Pupil—Boy is an uncommon noun, of the goslin gender and female persua sion—uncommon, ’cause lie’s hard to find now-a-days; goslin gender, ’cause he soon enters the threshold of goose hood ; female persttasloU, ’fcattse he’s al ways got the heart-sick about some fe male ; first person, big Ike; singular number, ’cause there’s nobody but him self ; in the objective case, and govern ed by his embryo mustache,, Scljiecbun Schnapps, and the length of his daddy’s purse. Teacher—Go home, sir, and bathe your feet in mustard. Teacher—Parse girl. . Pupil- -Girl is an angelic noun, of the Grecian bond gender, and masculine tendencies. , Teacher—Save us from sudden death ! These boys will never be raised. How is that, sir ? Ptipil—Girl is an angelic noun, ’cause she paints her cheeks and loves inguns ; she’s compounded of cosmetics, flowers, fuss and feathers; is of musculine ten dencies, ’cause she wears shirt bosoms, paper collars, and always has her head full of boys; singular number, ’cause the boys arc afraid of them, and matri mony is®playedout; third person, ’cause she’s much spoken of; in the objective case and governed by a gypsy bonnet. Teacher—Next, parse corn. Pupil—Corn is, an uncommon noun of the neuter gender. Teacher —Bless my life ! go on sir. Pupil—Corn is an uncommon noun, ’cause farmers have well nigh quit rais ing it—it is used as an adjective and be longs to Tennessee, Ohio and Kentucky. When parsed as a noun, it is in the ob jective case and governed by cotton. Teacher —Sit down, sir ! Teacher —Next, parse cotton. Pupil—Cottoti is a royal noun of the starving gender. Teacher—Listen at that! Pupil—lloyal, ’cause it is King, (but ohly over the SpTtfherfi people), starving gender, ’cause it has well nigh starved out the South; in the objective case and governed by lazy freedmen. Teacher—Next, parse fashion. Pupil—Fashion is a tyrannical noun of the common gender Teacher—Catfish aud blunderbusses ! What’s that sir ? Pupil—Fashion is a tyrannical noun, ’eatfcfe i* mtlst be obeyed, and laughs at a poor man’s p»rse; common gender, cause all people bow to it; it is com pounded of flounces, flimsies, flauisies, ruffles, scuffles, bubbles, troubles, ruffs, cuffs, snuffs, higgles, giggles, sniggles, curls, furls, hairs, snares, Grecian bend, fuss and feathers. It was once in the objectife Case and governed by Eugenie, but is now in the nominative ease inde pendent. Teacher—Go home, sir, and go to bed. Teacher—Next, parse baby. Pupil—Baby is an obstreporous mu sical noun of the neuter gender. Teacher —Moses and the prophets save us from destruction ! What do you say, you little imp? Pupil—Baby is a musical noun, ’catke it sings a soft tunc between midnight and day, specially of a cold night—it i? neuter gender, cause it is neither male nor female till it rs Mg etrongh to wear breeches It weighs according to size, and measures according to proportions. Is compounded of milk and lungs, and specially of lungs, grows at a rapid rate, and soon learns to smoke cigars, drink spirits, talk short to dad, and make love to gals. It is also of the spoilt genefer, ’cause it is allowed to pat its foot in the gravy whenever it chooses, is in the ob jective case and governed by candy and sugar plums. Teacher—Go home, sir, and tell your mother to rock you to sleep. Teacher—Patse matrimony. Pupil—Matrimony is an ancient noun of the defunct gender. Teacher—Hear him ! You little vaga bond, what do you say ? Pupil—Matrimony, is of the defunct gender, ’cause it’s played out. Girls are plentiful as blackberries, but they’ve got nothing, they toil not, neither do they spin, yet Solomon in all his {'lory couldn’t dress like ’em. Matrimony is compounded of the words, mate and monejj, but when there’s match now-a days, it is nothing without the money. Third person, ’catfse R’s sfokett of nnteh by the girl’s daddy. Teacher—Take a back seat, sir, and rub your head with a brick ! Teacher —Parse kissing. Pupil —Kissing is a common labial noun of the explosive gender. Teacher —Sakes alive ! What do you mcari ? Pupil—Kissing is in the explosive gen der, ’cause it is usually attended with various explosive sounds; sometimes like the bursting of a torpedo; some times like the sucking of a calf; some times like unto weeping, or Jacob kissed Rachel and lifted up his voice and wept. It is common cause it is peculiar to all sexes and ages, specially to young girls, preachers and widowers.. Kissing is de rived from bussing and is of varjous kinds. Ist. There’s rebus, which is bussing again. 2d. There is omnibus, which is bussing all the gals in the room. 3d. There’s blunderbuss, which is one man kissing another man’s wife; and 4th. Tlicyre’s syllabus, which is one girl kissing another girl, where so many boys are spiling for a buss. It is second per son, ’cause it takes two persons to per form tile operation; plural number, ’cause they generally take more than one when they can get a chance ; is in the objective case and governed by sur-. rounding circumstances. Just here the teacher and vast audi tory broke down. A bevy of redhead ed girls rushed upon the rostrum and demanded ,that the little imps be hung instanter, if not sooner, and order was not restored till the Marshal assured them that all the little reprobates should be hung at sunrise next morning. The teacher was taken ofl on a window shut ter. JOSH BILLINGS INTERVIEW ED. The Laughing' Philosopher Rises to Explain. An interviewing reporter has been to see that eminent philosopher, Josh Bil lings, at Saratoga, and the following con versation was the reffiiH : “ Mr. Billings, where were you edu cated?” “ Pordunk, Pennsylvania.” Hot* oid are you ?” “ I was both 150 years old, and have been growing young eversiurc.” “ Are you married ?” “ Once.” “How many children have you ?” “ Doublets.” “ What did you come to Saratoga for ; ” “ I kan’t tell. Kin you ?” “ What other vices have you ?” “ None.” “ Have you any virtues ?” “ Several.” “ What are they ?” . “I left them in New York.” “ Do you gamble ?” “ W heft I feel good,” “ What is your profession ?” “ Agriculture and alminaxing.” “ What do you think of an inter viewer ?” “ lie’s a leetlc worse than an organ grinder.” “ How do you account for your defi cient knowledge in spelling?” “ Bad spells during infancy and poor memory.” “ What, things are you most liable to forget.” “ Sermons and debts.” f ‘ What professions do you like best ?”* “ Auctioneering, base ball and theolo gy*” “ Do you smoke ?” “ Thank you, Flf Fike a Dlrfaga first.” • “ What is your worst habit ?” “ The coat I got last in Poughkeep sie.” “ What do you think of Grant ?” “ I am if* of the present admin istration.” “ What are your favorite books?” “My alminack and pocket-book.” “ What is your favorite piece of sculptor ?” “ The mile stone nearest home.” What is your favorite animal ?” “ The mule.” “ Why ?” “ Because he irerer blunders with his heels.” “ What was the best thing said by your old friend, Artemus Ward ?” “ £ All the pretty girls of Utah marry young.’ ” “ What do you think of the San Do mingo question ?” “If it don’t interfere with the Santa , Cru* (rttaC) question, I’m in favor of it.” “ What do you think of the Indian question ?” “ I think all gooa India® <??e yptrug.” “ Do you believe in the final salvation of all men ?” “ I do—let me pick the men.” lleporters in India have a nice time. Here’s the way they get up marriage no tices f. .... “We are very glad to learn that the marriage of Mr. llughoonathdas Mad howdas, a Kupola Bunia merchant of Bombay, with Dhuncoorbal, the daugh ter of the Shet Gudhurdas Mohundas, and the widow of Luchmichand Dhur unischeay, was celebrated at Chinch po nogly. THE SUNSHINE CURE. A New Remedy for Invalids— lts WonclCffhl Effects. Seclusion from sunshine is one of the misfortunes of our civilized life. The same cause which makes the potato vines white and sickly, when grown in the dark cellars, operates to produce the pale, sickly girls that are reared in our £a?lor§. Expose either to the rays of the sun, aud they begin to sFofr color, health and strength. One of the ablest lawyers in our coun try, a victim of long and hard brain la bor, Same to me .a year..ago suffering from partial paralysis. The right leg and hip were reduced in size, with con stant pain in the loins. lie was obliged t in coming up stairs to lift up the left foot first, dragging the right foot after it. Pale, feeble, miserable, he told me he had been failing for several jcdr&, and closed with, “My work is done. At sixty I find myself worn out.” I directed him to lie down under a large window and allow the sun to shine on every part of his body; at first ten minutes a day, increasing the time un til he could expose himself to the di rect rays of the sun for a full hour.— His habits were not essentially altered in any other particular. In six months, he came running up stairs, like a vigor ous mab of Tons, and declared with sparkling eyes, “ I have twenty years more of work in me.” I have assisted many dyspeptic, neu ralgic, rheumatic, and hypochondriacal people into health by the sun euro. I have so many facts illustrating the won derful power of the sun’s direct rays in ciiring certain diseases of invalids, that I have s#iously thought of publishing a work to be denominated the “Sun Cure.” — Home and Health. BeautlfUl Tribute to Virginia. —ln a speech made last week at Louis ville, Ky., the lion. D. W. Voorhees, of Indiana, said : If I, on the other hand, was calline witnesses lor the Democracy, I would point first tp the old State of Virginia, the most afflicted of all, tlie most forn to pieces of all, with her male population driven away, her bosom thrjishpd with the thrashing machine of death from one border to the other. She has emerg ed as from a fire of ten fold heat, but she has fallen into the hands of Conserva tism and not Radicalism, and no Radical, not even Ben. Butler, dares wag his foul tongue or point his felonious finger at her. [Cheers.] And this 1 said to film, too, on the floor of the House. Virgin ia, the very head front of the struggle on the part of the South—she in whose bosom lies more buried valor than in any other equal space of ground the sun shines upon [Applause.] where he roes surpassing those that Ilomer sung, met and clashed their swords and bled and died—She on whose fate the whole South hung, who never faltered, and when her great leaders laid down their swords, all others were laid down. Don’t YouDo' It.--When you are offered a great bargain, the value of which you know nothing about, but which you are to get at half price, “be ing you”—don’t you do it., When a young lady catches you? alone and lays violent hands on you, express ing “kiss” in every glance—don’t you do it. When a horse kicks you, and yon feel a strong inclination to kick the horse in return—don’t you do it. , Should you happen to catch yourself whistling in a printing office and the printers tell you to whistle louder —don’t you do it. If on an ocld occasion your wife.should exclaim to you. “ Now tumble oict the cradle and break your neck do !” don’t you do it. When you have any business to trans act with a modern financier,and he asks you to go and dine with him—don’t you do it. When you are associating with Rad icals and they ask you to join and vote with the Radical party —don’t you do it, HaT* Sleep is a most singular mystery. When a man is bound in its silken coil his reason is dormant, but his imagina tion is often out upon the wildest revel. Though he is dead to the real world, he is alive to nti imaginary world. And this unreal state of things, this fiction of his slumbers, affect him just like the most solid reality. He willl laugh in his sleep, or he will weep, or tremble and cry out with terror. He sometimes will even up and walk about ifi sleep—a curious spectacle of life with out consciousness, and motion without intelligence. If you were to arouse him from his illusion he would probably forget all about his strange aberrations, or else remember it only as a confused and disordered dream. Not long since there worked in Waxhitfgfiofr a printer named NoTth.who would occasionally drink too much.— One evening, after having staggered with too many drinks, a friend advise*! him to go over to the prayer meeting in the “Young Men’s Christian Association ” building, and ask some of the members to pray for him. The suggestion struck him favorably and he proceeded to act upon it, but accidentally wandered into the gymnasium. Steadying himself and looking n*oir*K>; he said : ‘‘They told me to come over here to a prayer meeting, but this looks terribly like a circus; but maybe it’s only the way I’m looking at it, ain’t (hie) much used to it and I sup pose it’ll all c 05% rctfnd right pretty soon !” What have you to expect at a 1 hotel ? Inn-atterition. VAIUOIS ITEMS. The latest woman question is said to be “ when will gold reach pa T’ How to make hens lay—Tic their together so that, they cannot stand G reeky. Aflemus A\ spys he knew a man without a tootn in ais head who could play the bass drum splendidly. “ Whose pigs are these, boy T “ The big sow s.” “ l mean who is their mas ter. That litle one :he w hoops ’em all.” 1 A Connecticut man won It? ??kc to represirit the uiichandick and laboringe men in the asifetfibly irrespectiv ov polliticks or eddikashun.” A minister not long ago preached from the text, “Be ye therefore stead fast, but the printer made him expound “ Massa, de taters up.” “ The pota toes up j you rascal, 1 only planted yes terday. “ 1 know dat, massa ; but de hogs got in las’ night, an’ gub urn a lif.” Young Hopeful—Ma, dear, Ada won’t take her physic. I’ve mixed her a dose of sand, and she says I must take some first. Doctors never do, do they, Ma ? The hotel in New England with the longest name is the “Quoquiimapssakcs sosanogog House at Hampton Beach. It has only one letter less than the whole alphabet. Charley relating his boarding school experience : Clara—“And Wltctf Ho you have breakfast ?” Charley—“ J ust as soon as the parson gets through read ing the riot act over the hash.” “ Clara —“ Grace-ious.” A needle was pulled out of a LaCrosse Mian’s breast, ifto infc'hes from his heart. It was expected that a further search would disclose a sewing machine, but as the surgeon didn’t find one, the fellow is suspected of having been in close quarters with a pretty dress maker. A marble cutter near Lockport recent ly received from a German an order for a tomb stone with the following epitaph : “My wife Susan is dead; if she had lived till next Friday, she’d been ded shilst two weeks. Asa tree falls so must she stand. All things is impossi ble mit God.” Ladies used to pride themselves on making their dresses last a number of years, but now when one says to them, , “ Hos? well that dress has lasted.” they consider it more in the light of an in sult than a compliment, and a reflection on them for having appeared in it in public so many times. This is a rural New York item : A tin peddler who evidently bears a charm ed life, fell thirty feet with his horse attd wagon through a bridge, and wasn’t hurt a bit: His load of old iron and potash kettles didn’t even break the springs, and the yellow dog under the wagon never lost step during the per formance. At a masquerade at Leaver worth, a female represented “ Arctic Moonlight.” She had a piece of ice in her mouth, and an Esquimaux hood trimmed with a slice of the Aurora Borealis. An other represented the “Narrow Gauge.” She had a bar of railroad iron balanced on her nose, and a steam gau<yc attached to her bosom.” “ Mrs. Spriggins, will you be helped to a small bit of turkey I” “ Yes, my dear Mrs. Wilkins, I will.” “ What part would you prefer, my dear Mrs. Spriggins.” “ I will have a couple of the wings, one of the legs, some of the breast, the side bone, some filling and a dtfmplings—very few—as I feel quite urnvell to-day.” Mrs. Wilkins fainted l A Connecticut lawyer, who wished to cross the river on the ice, was told that it would be entirely safe to make the at tempt if he crawled over on his knees. Anxious to go he humbled himself ac cordingly, and had laboriously got half way across when he was overtaken by a man driving along leisurely in a buggy. The rapidity with which he assumed an gpright position was startling to the driver. t, * 1 ’ t Ah exchange says that the habit of chewing gum grows on any one indulg ing in it as much as that of drinking liquor, and the breaking off from it sud denly is as injurious. A young girl who has chewed it for years swore off |ast weelj, and since then she has regu lar jim jam3. has to be set up with every night. A-young man sits up with her, however, and she don’t mind it much. Girls that don’t want to be set up with had better not quit chew ing. A rural gent of eighteen summers in vested in a bairah'a ph' the cars at Dan bury, Conn., the other day. He Care fully removed the peel and put it on the seat by his side ; then he broke the fruit up in small bits, ejeing it anxiously as he did so. When this was done, he picked up the peel, shook it iff ttii sap, and finally threw the pieces out of the window, remarking as he did so, *• That’s the fust of them prize packages I ever bought, an’ it’s the last, you be(.' f Hood, in Ills Comic Annual for 1830, had the following from a contributor: Sur, my wyf h*d a tomb eat that dyd. Being a tortur shell and a gfafe faverit. we had bin. berried in the guardin, afrd frfr the sake of inrichment of the sile, I had the carkis lade under the rutes of a guzebery bush, the fruit being up til then, of the smoo!h k.iud. But the next /Croft's frute after the cat was berried the guzeberries was all hairy, and mofe remarkabul, the catapilers of tlie same bush was all of the same hairy discre tion/' RATES OF ADVERTISING. No. Sqw p NRp* M.m.jl year, two I UO ! $7.00 l I Four “ 6.00 i | b column 9.00 fl*oo , oO.iKl 10.U* V “ 15.00 j 2 ■'».<*>- I'* 40.00 ) t. 6.00, 1 “ 28.00 | 40.00 , 65.00 | 116.00 For ench square of ten l : n*>* or lr«s, for the first insertion. sl, ami for mrli sub sequent insertion, fifty cent.*. Bsa£“’ Ten lines* of solid brevier, or M* equivalent in sjwce, make a .-quare. Terms cash before or on demand af ter the first insertion! NO. 6. MISCELLANEOUS. BE. J. BBADFI Female IJogrulator.’ certificates of Lk- .vnndarful cures, the render is referred to the wrapper around the bottle. For sale by all iHUegiste. l’rice, $1,50 per bottle. DR. PBOUHITTS Celebrated Liver Medicine ON E of the Oreatest Remedies of the ajje, l« i all diseases of the hirer. Jaundice, Bowel Com, pla.Dt, Colin, Chills and Fever, and Killious Fe ver. In fuel, all diseases arising frotn A deranged C A X 77- niUOl '$ 1 7 LL S. These Fills have b*»en used for t* e Inh.> years, and fur llt»ad«clie, l)c'angtd Liver, Ac..' are without an equal. DR. I'RO I*ll ITT'S .4 GVR PILLS , A sure CUKE for CHILLS and FEVER. DR. PROPI/lTf'S y Dysentery Cordia 1, Cures all derangements of the BOWELS. Dr. Propliitt’s Pain Kill It. This celebrated Medicine should be in ev«rs household. It is a certain cure for all Pains, an antidote to Hites of Poisonous insects, Hnskafi, Ac. A superior remedy for Khuimutisui aud Neuralgia. TRV IT. All, the above articles for rule by Dr 1). G. Hunt Druggist, I oun, Oa. Catept‘29 AMKRIMN INllliisiTl of I*h ilarfefph in.' Medical Department ! THIS College holds flt roc sessions each' I year. The first session continences October 3d, and continues fitftil the end of December ; the second session commences Jauuary 2d, 1872. and continues until the end of Murcb {j the third session commences *4pril Ist, ami continues until the <qid of June. It lias an able corpse of twelve Professors,, and every Department of Medicine and .Sur gery is thoroughly taught. " Every facility in the way of illustrations, morbid specimens, herbarium, chemical ami ph il osophical apparut us. microscopes, i ust ru ments of the latest invention for physical examination and diagnosis will be provided., Splendid Hospital and Clinical Instruction are afforded ; free tickets to a,ll our cjfy hos pitals are provided ; dissecting material abundant at. a nominal cast. , i ? Perpetual scholarship are sold for S6O, which pays for all the Professors' Tickets, until graduation. Matriculation I*ee $7) ; Demonstrator’s Ticket. $5 Diploma Fee, S3O. For uircular and additional particulars, address Prof. JOHN lIITHANAN. M. I). Dean. 514 Pine Street, Philadelphia, Pa augl7’7l-ly Emigrants and Travelers; SAVE YOUR MONEY. T”„, ' ■ IF you are going to Memphis. Lit fie Rock, Pine lllutf, New Orleans, Galveston, Texas, or any point on the Mississippi, Red or Ar : kansas Rivers. St,, Louis,., lyanyafl City, Sf«. Joseph, Omaha, or any point West ami North west, be certain and buy your tickets via ST. LOUIS, MEMPHIS, Nashville and Chattanooga Great Central Through Line. Trains run through fr'Stu Chattanooga to' Memphis and Columbus, Ky., Without Change of Cars.’ Therefore making only one change between Chattanooga and St. Louis, Mo. This is the . .SHOUT AND (UJlCff lUtCTfi- West and Nortf being from *li to 1000 miles shorter thttn rjij, otoyr route,and equal,if not ter.than any hoc to 'Tc.taa.Aikaoßas and the Mis sissippi River. ... . . v , Time to St. Louis and tb6 wqst via ..’ashvillo, route is 8 Lours and 10 minutes, to 15 hours and 50 minutes quicker than via Corinth- hour* quicker to Memphis than by any route leaving Chattanooga in the morning. .Emigrant* by this Route will not be put in Box Cara which have no Fit es, Seats or comforts of any kind, but will have excellant Passenger cars, thoroughly heated and Well Ventilated. Remember this, and give us a trial, and see if we do not do as we pro-, ose. . Emigrants’ rates are as ; Rome to Memphis sl2 So “ Little Rock 17 Om “ St. Louis (rail) 20 75 « “ [river] 1# 75 “ Kansan City [river]... 24 75 “ “ [rai1],,,....80 7*. “ St. Joseph [rsi.l .. ..*0 75 “ [liver] .26 7a 44 Omaha [liver] 32 7-» “ “ -[rail] uH “ San Francisco [rai1]...,... 106 75 “ “ • • , [tiverj j 102 75 “ New Orleans [river and rai1)..... 400 “ Shreveport, La., (rail and i/ver].. 20 0^ 1 a> and Em ; g;*nt* by I hoi line Irom Chattanooga have choice of three dnTereot routes to the West and Northwest, as follows, pit Un ion City, Hickman, or Louisville, therefore, gw ing it superior ad vantage* ail other routes. Trains run to and fiom Chattanooga, vis : LEAVE. ABRIfC. 3:10a. m., [Sundaysexcepted] 7:10 p. re* 8:00 p. m., Daily 4:3u a m All persona are e< tilled to. 100 pounds fUg [ gage, w?r*rch will be handled with eai v and free of cha-ge. For further information address Agenia of this line at the ollow ing places; R. M. Hooke, Ohattanooga, Tenn.• Foste' Whi eside, Ticket Seller, Chattanooga. Tenn.; or VV L Daoley, G. P. ft T,.Agent, .N».i-bvilla Tenn For utiick time and sure ; mnedtious &ot for get to buy tickets by the St. Lotus, Aicutphis, Naslivffle and Chattanooga Ceufcntf Through Line. JOHN W. THOMAS, Geo. S»Vt W. L DANLEV. G. P. ft T. agent. TIIOS. J. PERRY, Pass, agent, Rome Ga “Patent Fire Kindler V* Greatest fo/reft?/ (ij the Age ! $•„ . No more expense for pine, or trouble of preparing, kindling for fires or stoves. Gef one of HARRIS &. DO ISCL AIK’S Patent Fire Kindlers, and you save mfOK-y and trouble, at a very small expeftVc.' For sale at all the stores, sn<f *t CTe/f's Office. JnfeSS-am.] HARRIS & BOISCLAIR Ll*. LANGFORD, Wholesale and . Ret til dealer in Stoves, llollow-ware. Tinware, cutlery, &c., Atlanta, Georgia. IS oho of the great est blessings tout bi t v t been given to wo man. Jt ./.till, relieve M o n t h ly •vnu.s, R lieu in atistu;. Neuralgia, and a eer tain rwrrforthe Whiten an»l Prolapsus Pterii K**r full particular.. history of diseases ami