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15 Y RICE & FREEMAN.
pc Calltouu (times.
Be Careful What You Say.
bt c. CABKOLL sancek.
In speaking of a person's fay Us
p r;v y don’t forget your own ;
Remember, those with homes of glass
Should seldom throw a stone;
If we have nothing else to do
13ut talk ot those who sin,
>Tis better we commence at home,
And from that point begiit.
!\V have no right, to judge a man
Vntil lie’s fairly tried ;
Should we hot like liis company,
5Vc know the world is wide ;
Some may have faults —and who have not,
The old as well as young;
Perhaps we may for aught we know,
tfftve fifty to their oU<h
pH tell you of a better plan,
And find it works full well:
1 try my own defects to cure
before of others tell;
And though I sometimes hope to he
No worse than some 1 know,
yiv own shortcomings bid me let
/ The faults of others go.
Then let us all, when we commence
To slander friend or foe,
Think of the harm one word may do
To those who little know ;
Remember, curses, something like
On. chickens, “roost at home;”
Don't speak of others’ faults until
We have none of our own.
msn saaaMHnRHHBHHHBnXTWHHBNi
THAT FIVE DOLLAR BILL.
BY IIESTEIYe. SIIIPLEY.
Rosa Wayne and Meta Lanier were
removing their wraps before a handsome
mirror iu the bed room of the former
young lady. The day was clear and
cool, as December days are apt to be,
arid the crisp invigorating air had
brought a more viVid crimson to their
cheeks than any rouge could hdve im
parted. Meta had drawn off her gloves
and, with her head poised a trifle to
one side, just as you have seen some
saucy bird, was noting with an irresist
able satisfaction how the gray felt hat,
with ita*drooping plunles and cluster of
pansies, harmonized with the bright
hazel eyes, sparkling under the straight
black brows, and the clear complexion
bowse heightened by the unusual color
of the cheeks, when her eyes fell upon
the reflected image of her friend, who
stood just behind her.
Rosa was tugging vigorously at the
elastic that held her hat on the mon
strosity known as a chignon, which per
sistently refused to yield tty her efforts
to disentangle it. A deeper crimson
than,the Morning's exercise warranted,
flushed, not only the cheeks but the
whole face of this young lady, and there
I were tears, or at least a very conspicu
ous moisture in her eyes.
Meta looked at her image, first care
lessly. then curiously, until satisfied that
the vexation imprinted thereon hau
its suurce in something more ti.an a
refractory elastic.
“ Rosa .Wayne, I do believe you are
crying, or about to do so,” she exclaim
ed, whirling around and facing her
friend with an air ot conviction.
“ And so would you, if you were un
dergoing a scalping by means of an
abominable elastic. It has pulled.off
my chignon, and a handful of hair out
by the roots. Enough to bring tears
into the eyes of any one, 1 should
think!” answered Rosa, losing patience,
and snapping the elastsc in two, as vi--
ciously as any well disposed young lady
could be expected to do.
Meta looked keenly : t her.
“It is not worth while to evade the
question in that way,” said she emphat
ically. “1 know that elastic, be it nev
er so trying, did not bring thas look in
to your face, nor those tears into your
eyes.
Before she finished speaking, Rosa
threw her hat aside, and herself on the
bed and burst out in genuine weeping.
Meta regarded her with Sonic aston
ishment ; she was not exactly prepared
for this sudden outburst.
“ Why, llosa darling, what troubles
you?” she asked, bending over her
black curls. No reply Was vouchsafed
for some time, except choking sobs ; but
at last gaspingly —
“I don’t care, I don’t care two straws
—he may marry her if lie likes !
“ It appears that you don’t care, tru
ly. Who is it may marry if he likes ? ’
\ “ Did you see how he looked at her,
oand how she smiled up at him ? Tin
deceitful creature !”
“Which he and her ?”
“I shall tell you nothing more about
it. Much sympathy you have for me.”
And Rosa sat up in righteous indigna
tion.
“ t dm just as sympathetic as possi
ble, not knowing anything about ‘lie’ or
‘her/ or what’s the row at all. If you
will dispense with personal pronouns
and use proper nouns instead, I may be
able to put my sympathy into accepta
ble form.”
“ Meta, you ought to be ashamed of
yourself, to make fun of uic wheu I am
So miserable.”
“ Never was farther from it, but I
canT be expected to know all about ‘it’
by intuition, and so shall wait patiently
for an explanation, until your hysterics
or heroics subside.”
“So it is all that deceitful Annie Ty
ler’s doings, I am satisfied.”
“ Oh !” said Meta, as a light began
to dawn upon her.
| “You did not see Mrs. Leary’s darri
wage pass us as we left ours ? ’
“You must have seen how Annie Ly
ler was gazing at Frank Leary ; it was
simply disgusting.”
“Particularly as he was returning the
look.”
“ Well, who cares? We quarrelled
at Mrs. Irving’s party last week, about
nothing but that deceitful mmx; and
so he did not bow, and she was delight
ed, I know.”
“Who was to blame ?”
“lie was, of course.”
“ Certainly. Rut let us have the
facts ”
Rosa toyed with her watch chain,
hesitated, then said : “ You need not
say‘certainly’in that tone, Meta. Frank
is just as provoking as he can be Rouie j
times. You know Mrs. Leary always
wished him to marry Annie Tyler, be
cause she is his cousin, and it would
keep all the T}ler property together.”
“ But what has that to do with quar
rel ?”
“ A great deal. Annie knows her
aunt’s wish, and gives herself no end of
airs about it when she is with me.—
Pretends to ignore my engagement to
Frank and quietly appropriates him, or
as much of him as she can, in a ivay
that exasperates me to the last degree.
He accompanied her to Mrs. Irving’s
party. Harry Seymour was my escort,
which provoked Frank, who does not
wish me to accept Harry’s attentions,
because, be says, Mr. Seymour lias not
proper respect for our sex.
“Several episodes occurred during the
evening calculated to irritate both of
us, and as I came out of the dressing
room after the party he was standing
near the door; I don’t know what spirit
of evil possessed me, but I slipped off
uiy engagement ring, and when he of
fered his hand saying he would come
according to promise to take me driving
next evening, I dropped the ring in his
hand and said with a significant look I
would not hold him to the engagement,
passed on and took Harry’s arm before
Frank could reply, andso —and so he
has not been to see me since.” Rosa
shut her lips tightly, and looked very
much the injured party.
“I must say. Rosa Wayne, I gave you
credit for better sense,” was Meta’s
comment when she had finished.
“ I am not going to be tyrannized
over and monopolized by Frank Leary
before I am his wife, l can tell you,”
flared Rosa.
“ Then give him equal liberty.”
“ But he knows I hate that Annie
Tyler.”
“And you know he dislikes with bet
ter reason that Harry Seymour.”
“ He could have called next day to
ask an explanation.”
“There was little need of an explana
tion when you returned the ring.”
“He would have come if he had loved
me.” This with a sob.
••Yes, like a whipped cur to lick the
hand that struck him. I thought you
knew Frank Leary better than that,
Rosa.”
“But I am sorry now, and oh, so
miserable ! What shall I do, Meta ?”
said Rosa, burying her lace in a parox?
ysm of grief.
“Tell him so.”
“I’ll die first!” and Rosa sat up and
tried to look very resolute.
“Well then, I suppose that is an end
of the matter, for if Frank Leary is the
man I take him to be he will not come
cringing to your feet after your
shabby treatment of him without some
acknowledgment on your part.”
“I know he will not, but what can I
do ? I cannot ask him to forgive me —
I never could humble niyseP’ to that.-
Can’t you suggest something, Meta, you
are so clever ?”
Meta sat in deep thought, Suddenly
she sprang up, exclaiming :
“Eureka ! ‘ Cast thy bread upon the
waters.’ ”
“What do you mean, Meta ?” asked
Rosa, surprised.
But Meta was just then too busy to
reply ; she was hastily emptying the
contents of Rosa’s porte monnaie, an
elegant little trifle of blue velvet and
gold, upon the bed. At last, selecting
a clean, crisp bill, she handed it to Ro
sa, saying :
“ I mean just this —write on the back
of this ‘Frank, forgive,’ or something of
that sort, and perhaps it will reach his
hands; he’ll recognize your writing;
rush to your feet; implore forgiveness
—then satin and orange flowers.”
Rosa smiled faintly.
“ Possible, but scarcely probable.—
Too wild a flight of the imagination to
afford any comfort.”
“ Not at all. I have heard of such
things. You can but try it. The al
ternative is to resign Frank to Annie
Tyler.”
“Meta, I never can write that; some
one else might see and Dnderstand.”
“What if they do, silly child ?”
“Oli, I could not bear to have them
talking.”
“Say so in French, then ; you often
speak it with him, and every one does
not know how 7 to parlez^vous."
Before Meta had quite finished Rosa
had written :
“Francoisc je me regretted
“Now draw a rose for a signature and
date it.”
She did this.
“ Give it to nib now and I will put it
in circulation before night.”
Four days later Frank Leary, in no
very exhilarated mood, sauntered into a
grocery, the proprietor of which was
personally known to him. He paused
at the door to take leave of his cigar,
and stood watching the throng intent
upon purchases for the holidays, surging
past him: The eager, expectant faces
of the little ones under the especial pat
ronage of Santa Claus, from whom they
confidently expected a visit via the
chimney—almost made him wish he were
a child again, as he contrasted their ap
pir< nt happiness with his own misery,
and he was tempted to say with Spen
cer :
“Thatlove with gall and honey doth abound;
But if one be with the other weighed ;
For every drachm of honey therein found
A pound of gall doth over it redound.”
As he stood thus inveighing his fate,
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1873.
he heard within the voice of a child
saying pleadingly :
“Please, sir, could you let me have a
little sugar with the tea ?”
And the gruff, reply,
“No, you have more tea now than the
money pavs for.”
“But, sir, mother R so sick. I will
come back and do anything you wish to
pay for it—run errands or sweep your
store or—”
“ I tell you once for all, you cannot
have the sugar without the money.”
Frank threw away his cigar and turn-,
ed to look at the little pleader. It was
a slight figure, poorly but neatly clad,
which met his gaze. From under a
well worn hat a pale, sweet face, pre
maturely thoughtful, with large tearful
brown eyes looked up into the face of
the grocer. It was evident he meant
said, and she was turning away
when Frank, touched by the mute grief
of the poor creature, said :
“Mr. Wills, let her have the sugar;
I will be responsible.” Then to the de
lighted child, "“You gay your mother is
sick ?”
“Yes,” put in Mr. Wills, before she
could speak for joy, “she is telling you
the truth : her father is dead and her
mother is consumptive, with a houseful
of children, but I cannot give to every
applicant of that sort. Charity begins
at home, you know, Mr. Leary.”
“I have noticed that when it does it
generally ends there, Mr. Wills.”
“Oh, thank you, sir, thank you,” now
broke in the little girl; “God will bless
you for your kindness.” And she
seized his hand and covered it with
tears and kisses.
“Mr. Wills, if, a3 you say, this is no
imposter, furnish a basket with articles
suitable for an invalid —and, my little
girl, take it home and tell mother it was
a present from Santa Claus”
Mr. Leary placed a bill on the coun
ter as he said this, and turned away to
avoid the child’s tearful outpouring of
thanks.
“ One moment, Mr. Leary,” and the
grocer handed him in exchange the
identical bill upon which was written
“Francoisc je me regrett*.”
By the merest accident —was it acci*
dent ? ov was it the simple reward for a
good action—his eye fell upon the fa>*
miliar chirography as he received the
bill.
He started, looked at the characters
intently, then said in an agitated voice :
“Where did you get this bill ?”
“I really don’t remember ; let me see
it again.”
“Never mind, it’s all right,” Frank
repli and, fearing the grocer might dis
cover his precious secret.
“-You don’t think it counterfeit?”
“Oh, no!” and he hurried from the
store.
Once in his office, he sat down with
the bill before him and he studied it
closely. It was Rosa’s writing beyond
a doubt he told himself, as he proved it
by comparison with some already in his
possession—even the peculiar flourish of
the “F,” and then she often called him
Franeoise. Was the rose a signature or
did it mean the communication should
be sub rosa or Loth ? Was she sorry ?
Dear little impulsive, independent
Rosa!
This and a thousand other. thoughts
and sweet reflections crowded tumultu
ously through his brain.
“I will go to her,” he said at length,
rising, and the resolution lent additional
firmness to his step, as he put it in exe
cution.
“Do you know anything of this?”
he asked, holding the bill before Rosa,
as all a flutter of delight she seated
herself beside him in her parlor, look
ing as fresh and blooming as the flower
whose name she bore.
Rosa blushed furiously and dropped
her eves.
“ Sufficient acknowledgement, my
‘ queen rose of the rosebud garden of
girls.’ Shall 1 take it as an apology, or
recall, or both ?” and lie bent over and
took her hands, such dainty white hands,
in his.
“Both,” she whispered,, as she hid
her face on his shoulder, too happy for
words.
So it was a merry Christmas and hap
py New Year to them both after all.—
Our Fireside Friend.
■ '■«< >-
Who Can Most Easily be Spared ?
Young men, this is the first question
your employers ask themselves, when
business becomes slack, and when it is
thought necessary to economize in the
matter of salaries. This question is an
swered in an American journal to our
satisfaction. It answers the question
who can best be spared this way : The
barnacles, the shirks, the make shifts,
somebody’s nephews, proteges, some
body’s good for nothings. Young man,
remember that these are not the ones
who arc called for when responsible po»
sitions are to be filled. Would you like
to gauge your own fitness for a position
of prominence ? 'Would you like to
know the probabilities of your getting
such a position ? luquire within ! What
are you doing to make yourself valuable
in the position you now occupy? If
you are doing with your might what
your hands find to do, the chances are
ten to one that you will soon become
so valuable in that position that you
cannot easily be spared from it; and
then, singular to relate, will be the very
time when you will be sought out for
promotion to a better place. Be con
tent to grade among the men who can
easily be spared, and you may rest as
sured that nothing will “spire” you so
certainly and so easil} - as promotion.
The } 7 oung reporter of Lexington,
Ky., who was excommunicated from his
church because he went to a horse-trot
professionally lives in the hope of wri
ting the deacons’ obituaries.
“A Dolt Always iu Order.’*
Squills declares that his wife is al
ways taking some kind of a mean ad
vantage ot him. “The beut woman in
the world, sir,” says Squills, “blit new
and then she will act mean, ani she
can’t help it.”
“ Last Saturday at breakfast,” said
Squills, “she was as smiling as a bundle
of chips.”
“Are your chops done to’vour liking,
Squills, dear ?”
“Deliciously, my love.”
“I broiled them myself, dear.”
“I knew it was going to be hot,” said
Squills, “and when I got into the hall
to leave, Mrs. Squills was there with
my hat in one hand and my overcoat in
the other.”
“Squills, dear,” she began 1
“I thought it time to pitch in here.”
said Squills, I said, quietly.”
“How much, Mrs. Squills? Out with
it, my love.”
“Mr. Squills,” said she,“don’t bo un
manly, sir, I beg; not to say
ious. Gussy wants a silk dress to go to
church in ; the poor child really isn’t
decent—“you ere very sorry,” well, so
you ought to be.“. Let her say her
prayers at home.” “No, Mr. SquilL, she
shan’t stay at home, and she shan’t say
her prayers, and Mr. Squills you are
enough to aggravate a saint, and y CU r
conduct is disgusting, and it’s enough
to drive a woman to bolt right off to
Chicago and get a divorce.”
“I thought this way a good time to
fire off my pet joke,” said Squills, “so I
said, ‘Mrs. Squills, a bolt is always in
order.’ Then I bolted myself, for Mrs.
Squills comes cf a fighting family.”
“When I went home at night, Gussy,
dear child, played ail my pet. Offenbach
music, and I knew I was in for the
dress, only I wanted to hold out till
morning, just for the look cf the thing.”
“For fiveycars after wo were married,”
said Squills, “ Mrs. S. would persist in
looking under the bed for a man. It’s
the same man every woman looks for, I
suppose, because they all do it. Well,
failing to find the man, Mrs Squills
finally gave him up in disgust, and took
to something else. I suppose,” contin
ued Squills, “they all take to something
else alter they can’t find the man under
the bed. Mrs.Squill’s weakness is bolt
ing the door. “ Mr. Squills, have you
bolted the door ?” is always the last
thing at night.
“ This particular night,” said Squills.
“Mrs. S. was "cry dignified and distant.
‘No familiarities, Mr. Squills, if you
please ; you wounded my feelings in
their tenderest point this morning, and
I cannot forget, though you did, chat I
am your wife, and the mother of your
children, Mr. Squills.’
“ This was pitching it uncommonly
strong, you know,” said Squills, “ and I
was abou* so surrender, when Mrs. SJ
turned off' the gas and coiled herself
up in a pet, somewhere on the outside
bed rail. Not even “good night, Squills/’
I felt pretty bad about it, I can tell
you, but I went to sleep. I don’t know
how long 1 had slept, but some time,
when I experienced a kick in the back,
as if a playful mule had been fan
ning me. Perhaps it was necessary, as
I always slept hard.”
“ Mr. Squills,” at last* I heard Mrs.
S. say, “ Mr. Squills, have you bolted
the door ?” y
“Now I eave it to any man,” said
Squills, ‘appealingly, ‘whether that is
the correct thing for the mother of a
family to do ? Os course I got up and
bolted the infernal door, and I said
‘Mrs. Squills, why the deuce didn’t
you think of bolting the door before I
went to sleep, and not wake up a man
in the middle of a cold night to do it?’
And what do you suppose her answer
was ?” ,
“ Why, Mr. Squills,” she said, “I
thought a bolt was always in order.”
“ What did I say ? What could I
say ? And the worst of it all,” said
Squills, “ I’ll he hanged if she wasn’t
laughing at me; I could feel the bed
shaking.”
Finding Each Other Out.
Robert Collyer says that after young
people marry they have to find each
other out, and they may spend a life
time in doing that. Some married
folks find each other out as I have read
of mariners finding out the polar world.
They leave the snores of their single
life in their spring days; with tears
and benedictions sail on awhile in sun
shine and fair weather, and then find
their way little by little into the cold
latitudes, where they see the sun sink
day by day, and feel the frost creep in,
until they give up at last, and turn to
ice sitting at the same talkie. Others,
again, find each other out as we have
found out this continent. They nestle
down at first among the meadows,
close by the clear streams, then they
go on through a belt of shadow, lose
their way and find it again the best they
know, and cctue out into a larger hori
zon and a better land ; they meet their
difficult hills and climb them together,
strike deserts and dismal places, and
cross them together; and so at last they
stand on the further reaches of the
mountains, and see the other ocean,
sunning itself, sweet and still, and then
their journey ends. But through shad
ows and shine this is the gospel for the
day; they keep together right on to the
end. They allow no danger, disaster,
or difference to divide them, and no j
third person to interfere, for if they do j
it maybe as if William and Mary of j
England had permitted the great Louis !
to divide their throne by first, dividing j
their hearts.
The Chicago hotel proprietress who j
was presented wfth a flute by the guests
would much rather have had a barrel of
pork. She cuuld play on it better.
A Young Woman’s Journey Through
Life Begun In a Wagon.
Last Friday afternoon, as one of our
popular justices from Ash burg was in
meditation deep among the papers per
taining to his cases, a swift and heavy
step was heard on the stairway and
along the hall leading to the office.—
The door was opened without any teenv
j tnony, and in rushed-a man in a state of
j high excitement not usually seen in our
I quiet city.
I “ Are you the ’Squire ?” he asked
Jas he wiped the perspiration from his
J heated brow.
j “I am,” replied the Justice.
“ Well, I want to get married, and
want the thing dorm light away.”
“ All right,” said the Justice ;“brifig
on your woman.”
The excited individual then informed
’Squire A. tuat the fair and expectant
one was in town, and that he wanted
the ’Squire to go to her with him and
perform the ceremony.
And after a few preliminary arrange
ments. which included the fco and mar.
riage certificate, the Justice followed
the gentleman, and finally brought up
with him. at the side of a covered wag
on on the street near the public square.
“ Here. Mary,”said the man,“ l have
brought the ’Squire,” and raising the
side of the wagon cover the form and
features of a handsome young wo
man were revealed to the astonished
Justice.
“ Mary, cfo you wish to marry this
man?” inquired the Justice, solemn
lj’ , £
“ I do,” faltered the blushing bride.
“ Shall—shall she get out on the
street, sir ?” stammered the soon-to.be
husband.
“ No” said the Justice.
“ Sh —shall I get into the wagon,
then ?” continued the man, who had
some faint idea of the impropriety of
the thing.
“No,” said the Justice, “stand, by
the side of the wagon, and take Marv
by the hand.”
This being done the two w 7 ere sol
emnly made one under cover only of the
whitesheeted wagon and the blue cano
py of heaven. A number of ladies
and gentlemen passed by near the par
ties, but knew nothing of the interest
ing ceremony that was taking place.—
Thus the legal bonds were bound around
the already united souls of William Mize
and Mary Catherine Palmer.
Postal Suggestions.
The “ Fat Contributor ” is dissatis
fied with some of the decisions of the
Post office Department, and submits “a
few improved rulings” of his own con
coction :
Monthly magazines, published week
ly must be charged letter postage when
delivered Gaily. Powder magazines,
except to regular subscribers are not per
mitted to frank their reports.
If no stamp is affixed t> a letter re
tain it. If, however, the postage is over
paid. letter rip!
If you feel any doubt about a paper
going w:th a one cent stamp, have two
sent.
Signs cannot be sent without paying
letter postage, three cents on every let
ter.
Calico prints, any foreign prince, re
prints and foot prints, all go as printed
matter, and pay tax accordingly.
Shirts may be mailed at tire rate of
two cents for ever} 7 two ounces of shirt.
If the owner’s name is on the shirt, let
ter postage must be charged. This rule
is indelible.
If the paper n not printed in the
same county where it has its press-work
done, then the county must pay double
postage on the man—we mean a two
cent county must be affixed to every
postage.
Editors of newspapers and their fam
ilies shall be allowed to pass free in the
mails.
If any person refuses to take the pa
per, the postmaster shall be compelled
to read it.
r— ——
Love and Passion.— l think the
average novel is making sad mischief
in the average mind in its pictures of
true love. It makes the tender glow
and glamour which related natures feel
when they meet, true love. It is no
such thing; it is true passion, that is
all; a blessed power purely and rightly
used, but no more true love than those
little books and tendrils we sec in June,
on a shooting vine, are the ripe clus
ters of October. For true love growc
out of reverence and deference, loyalty
and courtesy, good service given and
taken, dark days and bright days, sor
row and joy. It is the fine essence of
all we are together, and all we do
True passion comes first, true love last.
“ It is sown a natural body, it is raised
a spiritual body,” and so it is written :
“The first man is of the earth, earthly,
but the second man is of the Lord from
heaven.’ ’ —Robert Colyer.
Silent Influence. —We are touch
ing our feiiow beings on all sides. They
are effected for good or evil by what we
are. by what we say and do, even by
what we think and i’eel.
May-flowers in the parlor breathe
their fragrance through the atmosphere.
We are each of us silently saturating
the atmosphere about us with the subtle
aroma of our character.
In tlie family circle besides, and be
yond all teaching, the daily life of each
parent and child mysteriously modifies
the life of every person in the house
hold. The same process on a wider
scale is going on through the communi
ty. No man jives to himself and no
man dies to himself.
Others are built up and straightened
by our unconscious deeds, while others
may be wrenched out of their places
and thrown down by our unconscious
influence.
Haste and Health.
It is not at all wholesome to be in a
hurry. Locomotiv. s have been report
ed to have moved a mile in a minute for
I short distances. But locomotives have
! often come to grief by such great rap
idit} 7 . Multitudes in their haste to get
rich are ruined every year. The uien
who do things maturely, slowl} 7 , delib
erately, are the men who oftenest suc
ceed in life. People who aie habitual
ly in a hurry generally have things to
do twice over. The tortoise be..rs the
hare at last. Slow men seldom knock
their heads against a post. Foot races
are injurious to health, asare ailformsof
j competitive exercise, steady labor in the
| field is the best gymnascuui in the world
! Either labor or exercise, carried to ex
| haustion or prostration, or elbn great
I tiredness, expressed by “ fagged out,”
always does more harm than the previ
ous exercise has done good, All run
ning up stairs, to catch up with a ve
hicle or ferry boat, are extremely inju
rious to every age and sex, and condi
tion of life. It ought to be the most
pressing necessity which should induce
a person over fifty to run twenty yards.
These live longest who are deliberate,
whose actions are measured, wild never
embark in any enterprise without
“ sleeping over it,” and who perform
all the every day acts of life with calm
ness. Quakers are proverbially calm,
quiet, people, and the Quakers are a
thrifty folk the world over.
Clothing and Weather.
We should never allow ourselves to
forget that nature intended us for warm
blooded animals. In this climate of
surprising changes, we are apt io forget
it, especially in the falland spring. At
such seasons, when we freeze and sim
mer on alternate da)s, there is engen
dered iu us a certain recklessness, which
takes no heed of cold or heat, damp
ness or dryness, and receives all tem
peratures with the same front—gener
ally a defenseless one. It is certainly
very troublesome to change front as of
ten as the weather, and there is preju
dice in the American minds against
such change, which has a great deal to
do with tiie rapidly increasing popula
tion of our graveyards. People like to
have some stability of purpose, and if
they can have it in nothing else they
will iry ro have it in their dress. They
will not make a change until they moke
a permanent one for the season. No
matter how hot it is in the spring, they
will wear spring clothes until summer,
and no matter how cool it may be in
August, summer clothes must bo worn
until fall shall actually set in. Thus,
times suddenly and with sad results, we
find ourselves approaching the condi
tion of the fishes and lizzards, for the
chill, that alert forerunner of diseases,
is ever ready, in our climate, to take
advantage of circumstances.— Scribner's
Monthly.
Don’t be Selfish.
A little sailor boy, named Ned, once
took with him on ship board a kitten
for a pet. Sailors arc very fond of
having such*pets that remind them of
home, and of the dear ones there. So
Ned had no difficulty in making friends
for Kitty. But in the course of the
voyage a fearful storm overtook them.
Theshipsprungaleak,and waslikely soon
to go down. A boat was lowered into
the foaming sea, and little , Ned was
about to stop into it when he thought
of his kitten. There was no selfihness
about him, and he could not think of
leaving her to ge down in that terrible
storm. lie rushed into the forecastle
to find her. When he came back the
boat was goue. Pretty soon another
boat was lowered and made ready, and
into this went little Ned and his kit
ten. Now it happened out of’ the sev
eral boats that left the ship this was
the only one that was saved. The one
in which he first intended to go, and in
in which he would have gone if he had
been a selfish boy, and not cared for
his kitten, was lost, and all on board of
it perished. If Ned had been a selfish
hoy he would have perished too. But
there was no selfishness about him, and
that saved his life
A Horse Stung by Bees—Fatal
Result. —An exciting incident took
place at the house of Mr. Andrew Jack
son, a worthy German citizen, who lives
near Retreat, Va.. one day la*t week.—
It appears that a horse had been turn
ed loose in Mr Jackson’s yard for the
puipose of grazing. The horse chanced
to upset a stand of bees, which at once
set to stinging the poor animal most fu
riously. The sharp sting of the bees
soon made the horse frantic, and, seek
ing protection of his master, he ran in
to the house among the members of the
family, turned over a cradle in which
lay a young child, thechild being knock
ed nearly across the room. The horse
next knocked down and stamped to
death a little girl some eight or ten
years old. and then ran out in the yard
and dropped dead. —Franklin (la.)
Monitor.
Billet Doux CoußTsmr. —The
following is a beautiful and modest way
of allowing actions to speak louder than
words. To send a note with none of
the corners folded, signifies friendship;
the upper right-hand corner folded, i
love }’ou ; the lower right-hand corner,
forget me not; the upper left hand cor
cer, I return your passion ; with the
upper right and lower left-hand corners
folded you have trifled with me; upper
left and lower right hand corners folded,
L am independent; all the corners folded,
indifference.
■ <j -*>-
A MAN in Chicago announces himself
as the “Methodist candidate for bailiff.” j
The higher wc take the thermom- J
eter up n mountain the lower it gets.
VOLUME IV. —NO. 22.
FtXNV PARAGRAPHS.
The smallest wbthen hopefully to
! Hymen.
*
To make money—Get an appoint**
uient in the mint.
An Ohio editor publishes marriages
under the head of *• Attachment No
tices.
B hy docs a railroad conductor punch
a hole in your ticket ? To let you pass
1 through.
I The Western girl who spelled euchre
j “ you-eur" was evidently thinking of
j the bow-wow-ers.
An exchange has an niticle about
i “the three wise merchants ” They are
the men who advert isd.
There arc said to be 7,000 men id
Peoria, 111., who want a war with Cuba
drovided they can go as sutlers. -•
A Riirrington, lowa, man bought a
light ax because his wife was sick, and
couldn't chop very well with a heavy
one.
W hile witnessing a game of base
ball out west, a boy was struck on
the head, the bawl coming out ofhis
mouth.
A lady reporter, sent to an agri
cultural fair, wrote of a lot of young
pigs : “ They look too sweet to live a
minute."
Blessed is the man that payeth the
printer, fur his rest at night is nut
troubled, neither will he be forsdken in
prosperity.
W hen your pocket-book gets empty,
and everybody knows it, you can put
.all your friends in it and it won’t bulge
worth a cent.
In Decatur, 111., when a young lady
declines an offer to convoy her home, he
asks permission to sit on the fence and
see her go by.
A tailor has a bill in his window to
the following effect: “ Wanted—severe
al thin coat makers." This is achanco
for spare tailors.
The creditors of an absconding Yan
kee, found on opening his safe, that the
only thing he had laid up for a rainy
day was an umbrella.
“ Bobby,” asked a perplexed stranger,
‘ which is the quickest way for me to
get the Santa Fc depot ?” “ Hun 1"
answered the street Arab.
Those old soakers never lack for ar
gument. Lately one replied to a tem
perance lecturer as follows|. “If water
rots the soles of your btots, w at effect
must it have on the coat of your stom
ach r
The Boston Post, noticing the fact
that 10,000 cubic yards of obstruction
had been removed at “ Hell Gate,
near New York,” says : “ They will
get it open pretty soon, so they can all
get in !”
A chap from the country, stopping
at one of our hotels, being asked by the
waiter, whether he would have green or
black tea, replied he didn’t care a darti
what color it was, if it had pJlciity of
sweet’n in it.
A bunch of shingles foil from a wag
on on the Troy ferry-boat recently and
struck fairly upon the head of a colored
woman, who said, “Y’ oughter b’shame
to muss a cullud woman’s har dat way.
I wish the shingles had fell ovah
board.”
On a New York Central Railroad
train, recently two old ladies sat on ad
joining seats in one of the cars; one de
clared if the conductor opened the win
dow she would die, and the other phL
tested against its being closed, for she
would smother to death. The conduc
tor was in doubt, when a venerable gent
exclaimed, “Open the window and kill
one of them, and then close it and kill
the other, and then we have
peace."
It was Platt Evans, of Cincinnati,
who taught his friends how to buy ten
der geese, but he could not always get
them in market One morningh6 saw a
lot and inquired of the farmer how many
there were.
“ About a dozen,” wa3 the reply.
“ W w well, I k k-keep boarders who
are the darndrst e-e eaters you ever
s-s-saw. P-p pick me out n-n nine of
the t-t-toughest you’ve g e got.”
The farmer complied, and laid aside
the other three tender ones. Platt pick
ed the three tender ones up careful
ly, and putting them into his basket
said :
“I b b-bclieve I’ll t-t-take these
three.”
A Kansas paper gives the following
report of a judge’s sentence, lately
pa sdon a criminal: “ Brumley, you
infamous scoundrel ! You’re an unre
deemed viliian! Yon baiti’t a single
redeeming trait in your character. Your
wife and family wish we had sent you
to tlTe penitentiary. This is the fifth
time I’ve had you before me, and you
have put me to more trouble than your
neck is worth. I’ve exhorted and pray
ed over you long enough, you scoun
drel! Just go home and take one
glimpse at your family, and be off in
short order \ Don't let’s ever hear of
you again I The grand jury have found
two other indictments agrinst you, but
I’il discharge tou on your own recogni
zances, and if I ketch you iu this nick
of woods to morrow morning at day
light. I’ll .lock you right square in jail
an 1 hum* you off to Jeffersonville in
less than no time, you infamous scoun
drel! I fever I catch you crossing
ynnr finger at man, woman or child—
white man or nigger—1,11 sock you
right square into the jug ! Stand up,
y u scoundrel, while f pass senterre.j
Oil yOjj ,