Newspaper Page Text
BY FREEMAN & BRO.
(Hi? Calhou v
Mistaken.
BY CLARA K. GT'KFNSEY.
Ye say that love is strong as death ;
Ye know not what ye speak.
Shall love be as Uu f eble breath,
The color on the cheek ?
Stronger than death, or woe. or time,
Is He who rales above ;
And through f t he siArnis of ages chime
His own word3, ‘.‘God is love.”
Death is the subject slave of love;
For love is God on high
Stronger than death, love rules above,
Till d'ath himself shall die,
—Old and N^w.
Good Advice to Hie Month,
At a weekly meeting of the national
grange, recently held at St. Louis, a
memorial to the Patrons of Husbandry
in the Cotton States was presented and
nnanimously adopted. It is an argu
ment in favor of mixed husbandry in
the South, instead of expending the en
ergies of the people in raising a single
crop It says :
“ During the past seven years our cot
loti fields have added to the wealth of
the wor'd two thousand millions of dol
lars and caused prosperity to smile upon
every one who has handled our crops
gave those who struggle for its produc
tion annually. The energies of the
cotton planters hrve been exhausted in
attempting to produce a maximum crop
of a single stadle whilst quite as fre
quently he has reduced his means in
supply'ng his necessary wants. A ays*-
tern based upon such policy and pro
ducing such results must be radically
wrong, and if persisted in will lead to
bankruptcy and ruin. No people can
ever bee me prosperous who are not
self-sustaining. Our cxhaustless min
eral wealth, abundant water power, and
generally salubrious climate, avails us
nothing, if annually wc expend millions
for subsistence. It is generally conce
ded that home grown bread is cheaper
than purchased supplies, and the ob
servation of every planter is, that the
Southern farmers who live within them
selves are more independent and less
encumbered with debts than those who
have relied solely upon their cotton
crop. Were it otherwise, it is hazard
ous for American people to rely upon
others for a supply of those articles
which are necessary for their daily con
sumption.”
It then refers to the famine which
has occurred more than once in India,
owing to the attempts of the people to
grow cotton to the exclusion of bread
stuffs, aud adds:
“During the past year portions of
lowa, Minnesota aud Dakota have been
invaded by grasshoppers, and they de
stroyed every vestige of vegetation Im
agine your condition, should a similar
invasion become general in the north
west. Couple with this idea the total
iailure of a cotton crop, either from
the worm, drouth or any other unavoid
able cause. Improbable as such visita
tions may appear, have we the power
to avert them and is it wise to subject
ourselves to the possibility of bocom
ing victims of such calamities? Our
wisest, and safest policy is, as far as
practicable, to produce at home our nec
essary supplies. Is there a farm in the
Houth upon which this cannot be done,
and at the same time produce an aver
age cotton crop ns the net result of the
farmers’ annual labor? We believe there
is not. Annually four millions bales of
cotton are*produced upon Southern soil,
but what proportion of this vast amount
is returned to indicate our prosperity ?
Due-half of it is expended for neces
sary supplies, whilst the remainder is
divided between labor and taxes. Hcnee
the cost of production has exceeded the
value of the article produced. Shall
this policy continue? Extensive cotton
crops have evinced our unity of pur
pose and entailed poverty upon 113. An
equal'y unfair adhesion to mixed hus
bandry would secure our recuperat on.
! ottoa is a necessity, and the extent of
the necessity can be calculated with ex
actness. If 3,600,000 bales are grown,
taey will be consumed before another
can be gathered, and a remunerative
market price will be sustained by the
consequent demands. If 5,500,000
bales are grown, the large marginal’ ex-
J- ess twill control and depress the mar
*et - The alternatives for success are
■luuierous, but we need to rely upon
Re single one of co-operating iu the
eterunnation to subsist at home.—
ith this end attained, there is no rea
*'!l why vre should not be the happiest,
“ St independent aud prosperous peo
ple on earth”
Ihe memorial is signed by the mas-
Drs of the state granges of South and
Rnh t arolina, Alabama, Mississippi,
101 idi, Arkansas, Louisiana, Georgia
Tennessee, and was not only heart
j‘7 approved by the eommitteee on reso-
Ull ms, but indorsed by every member
<J the national grange,
Getting to Sleep —We have tried
? an y ex perime'its to induce sleep. The
• i 1 m . eth °d we have yet discovered is
, afc °1 counting. Breathe deeply and
/*v (without any straining effort),
“ ( Wtt h every respiration count one,
*°, three, etc., up to a hundred. Some
persons will be asleep before they count
111 7 1° this manner. Others will couut
cn. twenty, or thirty, and then forget
‘Caiselves and cease counting. Very
persons can count a hundred and
n f hemselves awake ; but should “this
repeat the dose until cured. —
of Health. ■ .
Dgnli I ?n TEEN Q V nc 7 falbers h;v . e
ti"; , n a greenient not to permit
unfii , u to take music lessoi s
bake duu e Tbters know boW t 0
.
•#
[For the Calhoun Times.]
The Heart and Mind.
A few mornings since a well-filled
bucket of crockery-ware and cutlery
made its advent into the parsonage of
this place from an anonymous source.
Not the “old oaken bucket that bung
in the well,” but one which will boas
indelibly pictured on memory’s tablet,
and on which recollection will dwell as
I pleasantly ns on thejmagery of old re
membrances, when the glittering dews
of orient life shone sunshine hopes.
Though no donor’s name accompa -
nied the timely gift, yet circumstances
very definitely located the author, for
on the night previous a friend from a
neighboring vilhige took suoper at the
minister’s home, whose quick percep
tion no doubt detected the sad lack of
table furniture, which his ready heart
and hand supplied ; and as numberless
favors had emanated from the same
source, evidence decided him as the ben
efactor.
What a bright world would we live
in, \f every kind thought we have blos
somed with not only words but deeds,
and were all like this incognito friend,
whose cultivated heart enables him to
realize the high privilege of refreshing
and cheering by active sympathy, for
privation and coldness make the frame
soon prematurely droop as with age,and
thoughtful kindness warms the spirit as
fire doe3 the body. No matter where a
ministers lot may he cast, whether on
some lonely frontier, or in the city full,
where land is sold by the inch, whether
in a log cabin with an empty meal bar -
rel and lean larder, or in a spacious
mansion abounding with beautifully fur
nislied parlors, rich hue I carpets, dra
peried windows and walls covered with
elaborate paintings, whether he wear a
threadbare suit or fine clothing, wheth
er above pecuniary embarrassment or
crushed vvich leaden footed poverty, if
in East or West, North or South, how
encouraging to his many vicissitudes
arc manifest appreciations from sympa
thetic ardent hearts.
A large heart and strong mind give
us the original impress before marred
by sin, for ‘-knowledge is power.” Only
fools can be convinced by fools, is an
old and rough proverb, but nevertheless
true. The mind has established gov
ernments, founded empires, explored
sciences, subdued earth, air, water and
fire by its inventions, visited the solar
system and comprehended its myste
ries.
What but mind enabled Demosthenes
and Patrick Henry to kindle enthusi
asm in the hearts of all hearers by their
eloquence? or caused Alexander, Cae
sar and Napoleon to tread down nations
and spill human blood like water, in
cited by phantoms cl glory ? or immor
talized Milton, Shakspeare and Ilomer,
who will ever stand on the stage of the
richest thinkers and brightest literary
ornaments? By casting the eye down
the long path of ages we may adduce
an endless catalogue of poets, warriors,
statesmen and philosophers, whose great
and vigorous intellects are placed -pre- :
eminent among mankind, as evidences |
that the mind has no bounds, but is j
endlessly progressive. Brutes ever look
downward ; so do we, unless wo use the
mind to ennoble u*. It can, by porver
sionjind disuse, debase and corrupt us.
We can devote it to mere worldly pleas
ures, aud make them of paramount im..-
portauee, in engrossing our thoughts
and purposes with fashion, gayety and
folly.
Some of the finest natural geniuses
have been allured to intoxication by the
fascinations of novel reading, the b all :
room, the card table and the drinking i
saloon, until wholly abandoned to vice, |
an untimely grave removes a curse in- J
stead of a blessing from the world.
But a mind true to itself never stands '
still, never exhausts its treasures, with j
“ Eureka” as its watebwore it ever as
cends to its high and everlasting des
tiny.
Strength of mind and not fanaticism,
incited Gyrus to take Babylon and Han
nibal to cross the Alps ia midwinter. —
Either for faaie or gain, the mind must
still move to be eminently successful.
The hand is considered king of all
the physical members, but its benign,
magical and prodigious executions are
only agencies of the mind. It trans
forms the wilderness into a paradisical
garden, builds bridges across mighty
waters, enchanting cities, dives into the
earth, and constructs aerial cars. It
yields us the mineral, vegetable, and an
imal productions of all climes. It
clothes us with fabrics of beauty juid
utility. It, with tbe pen, most potent
of all instruments, gives us the thbughts
of the good, the great and the bad of
every age, nation and talent. It delin
eates on canvas,scenery.the picturesque,
the sublime and grand,and with lifeffike
precision arrays before us tbe forms of
friends, and the illustrious of ancient,
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4.1874.
and modern times It eutran ’es us
with sweet music, and with its gestures
gives expression to every emotion of the
soul.
Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, SefiaCa aud
all the ancient sages, though many of
■ their ideas are wild and fanciful, yet
they strike us with their originality of
thought, and the impressive ideas they
entertained of the progression of the
mi nd.
But of all the phenomena of nature
the heart is the greatest anomaly, for
is either the dwelling place of heavenly
virtues or the haunt of fiends.
Then, like the statue of Columbus at
Genoa, which ever looks westward, a
heart and mind in unison great and
good, is unchangably, forever, a monu
ment of unspeakable grandeur.
M. B. R.
Calhoun, Ga., Feb. 23, 1874.
How to be Handsome.
Most people like to be handsome.—
Nobody denies tbe great power an}- per
son may have who has a good face, and
who attracts you by good looks, even
before a word has been spoker Aud
we see all sorts of devices in men and
women to improve their good looks—
paints aud washes of a!l"kinds of cos
metics, including a plentiful anointing
vith dirty hair oil.
Now, not every one can have good
features —they are as God made them ;
but almost every one can look well, es
pecially with good health. It is hard
to give rules in a very short place, but
in brief these will do :
Keep clean—wash freely and univer
sally with cold water. All the skin
wants is leave to act freely, and it will
take care of itself. Its thousands of
air holes must not be plugged up.
Eat regularly and simply. The stom
ach can no more work all the time,
night and day, than a horse; it must
have regular work arid regular rest.
Good teeth are a help to good looks.
Brush them with a soft brush, cspe j
cially at night. Go to bed with the
teeth clean. Os course, to have white
teeth, it is needful to let tobacco alone.
Any powder or wash for the teeth
should be very simple. Acids may
whiten the teeth, but they taka off the
enamel or injure it.
Sleep in a cool room in pure air. No
one can have a clean skin who breathes
bad air. But, more than ali, in order
to look well, wake up the mind and
soul. •
When the mind is awake, the dull,
sleepy look passes away from the eves.
1 do not know that the brain expands,
but it seems to. Think, read —not
trashy novels, but books that have some
thing ill them. Talk with people who
know something; hear lectures and
learn by them
This is one of the effects of good
preaching. A man thinks and works
and tells us the result. And if we lis
ten, and hear, and understand, the
mind and soul are worked. If the spir
itual nature is aroused, so much the
better We have seen a plain face re'
ally glorified by the love of God and
man, which shone through it. Let us
grow handsome. Men say they can't af
ford books, and sometimes don’t even
pay for their newspaper. In that case,
it does them little good—they must feel
so mean while reading it. But men
can afford what they really choose. If
all the money spent in self indulgence,
in hurtful indulgence, were sp nt in
books a.id self improvement, we could
see a change. Men would grow hand
some. aud women too. The soul would
shine out through the eyes. We were
not born to be animals. Let us hav >
books and read them, and sermons, and
heed them. •
- -»■< -4-
Hints About Carving.
Although it is a daily duty for men
and women to cut up meat for a family,
there are multitudes who do it neither
well nor wise. The following sugges
tions, from an agricultural paper on this
point, may not be out of place, the
more especially to young housekeep
ers :
To carve fowls, which should alwaj-s
be laid with the breast uppermost, place
the fork in the breast, and take oft the
wings and legs without tearing the
fowl ; then cut out the merry thought;
cut slices from the breast; cutout the
collar bone ; cut off the side pieces,
and then cut the carcass in two. —
Divide the joints in the leg of the tur
key.
In carving the sirloin cut thin slices
from the side next to you (it must be
put on the dish the tender loin under
neath), then turn it. Help the guests
to both kinds.
In carving a leg of mutton or ham
begin bv cutting across the middle to
the boue. •
Cut a tongue across and not length
wise, and help from the middle.
Carve a fore quarter of lamb by sep
arating the shoulder from the ribs, and
then divide the ribs.
To carve a loin of veal, begin at the
smaller eud and separate the ribs. —
Help each one to a piece of kidney
and its fat. Carve pork aud mutton in
the same way.
To carve a fillet <>f veal, begin at the
top and help to the stuffing with each
slice. In a breast of veal, separate the
breast and brisket, and theu cut up, ask
ing which part is preferred.
In carving a pig. it is customary to
divide it and take off tbe head b f*re it
comes to the table, as to many persons
the head is revolting. Cut off the
limbs and divide the ribs.
The reason why editors have man
ners spoiled is because they receive so
many evil communications.
Th Grangers’ Platform.
The national convention of grangers
at St. Louis adopted a platform of prin
ciples, the main features of which ura :
1 The development, of higher manhood
aud womanhood ; the reduction of ex
penses of individuals, niid do operation
to buy less and produce more ; to dis
countenance the credit mortgage fash
ion, and every system pertaining to
prodigality and bankruptcy; to buy
aud sell and act together for mutual
protection ; to avoid litigation as much
as possiple by arbitration in the grange;
to dispense with middle-men ; to in
crease in every practicable way all fa
cilities for transportation ; oppose com
munism, agrarianism, excessive sala
ries, high rates of interest and exorbi -
t int percentage of profits in trade; as
sett that the grange is not a political or
party organization, and that no grange
can discuss political or religious ques
tions, call political conventions, nomi
nate candidates, nor even discuss their
merits in meeting, but that it is the
right of every member to do all in his
power, legitimately, to influence for
good the actio i of any political party,
to put down bribery, corruption and
trickery, and to see that none but com
petent, faithful, honest men are nomi
nated for positions of trust ; also, in
culcate the proper appreciation of the
abilities and proper sphere of woman as
indicated’by admitting her to member
ship and position in the order.
According to the report of Dudley
W. Adams, mister of the national
grange, granges have been established
in thirty-two. Slates and two Territories,
iliere is also in operation a provincial
grange organization in Quebec. There
are between 11,000 and 12.000 organ is
zationsand not far from 1,000,000 mem
bers. The organization has flourished
mure prosperously in lowa than in any
other State, there being more branches
there now than in ali the other States
put together. Missouri has between
1.400 and 1,500 granges, with a mem
bership of at least. 60,000, whereas
eighteen months ago there were but
two granges, and twelve months ago
there were but nineteen.
Brazilian Women.
foreign Udies who teach in the
schools have told me that schoolgirl life
in Brazil is a most lamentable moral
condition. A knowledge of French,
music aud dancing is all that is consid
ered worth obtaining, and then until
marriage—which doesn’t come at all to
many of them, or if it does come is an
arrangement of the parents, and simply
changes the place of .dieness—they
wait, doing nothing, week, month, and
year, nothing; they neither study, nor
read , n r sew, they do nothing. In the
fore noon, in a state of slothful deshab
ille they dwadd/e and lounge around
the house; in the afternoon they look
out of the windows, and this is a na
tional custom most striking to a stran
ger to sec them, white and black, limb
and low, educated and illiterate, hang
ing out of the windows through the af
ternoon ; indeed, the window seats are
filled w itli cushions that the arms may
not become bruised by the continual
leaning upon them. In the evening,
dressed toey sit and sit, and do nothing
else again. Sometimes they speak, and
it is wonderful what commonplaces can
be uttered and what little can be said
when the Brazilian mouth opens. So far
as female employment is concerned —a
Brazilian girl labor for her support ?
No indeed I She would rather have
hut one dress, and turn it on holidays.
Her father would sell his shirt first,
and button up his seedy coat. Her
mother would die of mortification.—
Aud so they live, poor and vain, aping
in aristocracy by.mock attempt at show,
the eheapand tawdry emptiness of what
is ridiculous. The wealthier, and not
less vain, are surrounded by an atmos
phere af frifird hauteur, through which
only members of the clique have the
courage to attempt to penetrate. The
Brazilian woman developes and ma
tures the young, aud becomes old while
still young. Her moral sensibilities
become obscured by the life which ex
ists about her, and into which she may
possibly at times get a glance through
the customs of her father or her broth
ers.
- - ■ ■—
Alphabet of Proverbs.
A grain of prudence is worth a pound
of craft.
Boasters are cousins to liars.
Confession of fault makes half amends.
Denying a fiult and »utles it.
Envy bhoo'.s at others aud wounds
herself.
Foolish fear doubles danger.
God reaches us good things by our
hands.
He lias hard work who has nothing
to do.
It costs more to avenge than to for
give.
Justice lives with benevolence.
Knavery is the worst trade.
Learning makes a man fit company
for himself.
Modesty is a guard to virtue.
Not to hear conscience i6 the way to
silence it.
One hour to-day is worth two to mor
row.
Proud looks make foul work in fair
faces.
Quiet conscience gives sweet sleep.
Richest is he that wants least.
Small faults are little thieves that let
in greater.
The boughs that bear most hang low
est.
Upright walking is sure walking.
Virtue and happiness are mother and
child.
Wise men make their own opportu
nities.
You never lose by doing a good turn.
Zeal without knowledge is fiTe with
out light. —'Christian Advocate.
Beautiful Faith.
We recently heard of an incident
which is well worth recording. A pi
rns woman of want one cold day last
winter, tried to open a door in the third
st ry of a wretched house when she
heard a little voice siy :
“ Pull the string up high ; pull the
string up high.”
She looked up and saw a string,
which on being pulled, lifted the latch,
•uid she opened the door on two little
| half naked children all alone. \ err
| cold and pitiful they looked.
“ Do you take care of yourselves, lit
tle, ones ? ’ a-ked the good woman.
“ God takes.care of us,” said the old
est.
“ Are you cold ? No fire on a day
like this!”
“Oh, when we are cold, we creep un
der the quilt, and I put my arms around
; Tommy, and Tommy puts his arms
: arouud me, and we say “ Now I lay me
down to sleep,” then we get warm, said
the little girl.
“ And what do you have to eat,
pray ?”
“ When G ranny comes home, she
fetches us something. Granny says God
has got enough. Granny calls us God's
sparrows ; and wc say ‘Our Father,’ aud
‘Give us this day our daily bread/ ev
ery day God is our father.”
Tears came into the good woman’s
eyes She had a mistrusting spirit her
self, but those two little “Sparrows-”
perched in that cold upper chamber
taught her a sweet lesson of faith and
trust she will never forget.
Laws Relating to Newspaper Subscrip
tions and Arrearages.
We give bcluw the law as it stands
relating to newspapers and subscribers :
1. Subscribers who do not give ex
press notice to ehe contrary, are con
sidered wishing to continue their sub
scription
2. If subscribers order the discontin
uance of their periodicals, the publish
ers may continue to send them untill all
arrearages are paid.
3. If subscribers neglect or refuse to
take their periodicals from the office to
which they are directed, they are held
responsible until they have settled their
bills, and ordered them discontinued.
4. If subscribers move to other
places without notifying publishers and
the papers are sent to the former direc
tion, they are held responsible.
5. The Courts have decided that “re
fusing to take periodicals from the of
fice, or removing and leaving them un
caned for, is prima facie evidence of
inteutional fraud.”
6. Any person who receives a news
paper and makes use of it, whether he
has ordered it or not, is held in law to
be a subscriber.
7. If subscribers pay in advance,they
are bound to give notice to the publish
er, at the end of their time, if they do
not wish to continue taking it; other
wise the publisher is authorized to send
it on, and the subscribers will be re
sponsible until an express notice, with
payment of all arrears, is sent to the
publisher.
How to Make an [Editor.«
Will M. Carlton rhymes as follows
about a farmer who took a boy to a
printing office to “-make an editor oaten
o'him : The editor sat in the sanctum
and looked the old man in the eye;
then glanced at the gr lining young
hopeful, and mournfully made this re
ply : “Is your son a small, unbound
edition of Moses and Solomon both?
Can be compass his spirit with meek
ness, and strangle a natural oath ? Can
he leave ai! his wrongs to the future,
and carry bis heart to his cheek ? Can
he do an hour's work in a minute, and
live on six pence aNweeU? Can he
courteously talk to an equal, brow beat
an impudent dunce ? Can lie keep
tilings in apple pie order, and do half
a dozen things at once? Can he press
all lb springs of knowledge with quick
and reliable touch ? And be sure that
he knows how much to know, and knows
how to not know too much ?
Does he know how to'stir up"his vir
tue, and put a check-rein on his pride ?
Can he carry a gentleman’s manner with
a rhinoceros's bide? Can he know all
and do all and be all with cheerfulness
courage, and vim ? Jfso, we. perhaps,
can make an editor outeno’ him.” The
farmer stood curiously listening, while
with wonder his vision o’er spread, and
be said : “Jim [ guess we’ll be goiu’,
he’s probably out of his head.”
_ t *.■ jfc-
Difference in Human Exhalations.
‘ It is a well-known fact that the hu
man body'con tains in itself various Ru
mors and acids similar in action and
having the same tendency toward the
baser metals, as nitric and sulphuric ac
ids —namely, to tarnish them; these
acids varying in quality in different
persons. No better proof can be given in
support of this than iu noticing the ef
fect which different persons have on the
jewelry they wear. There are thousands
who —for fancy or economy’s sake—
wear continually the cheaper kind,
known under the name of of “ fancy
jewelry.” having brass ear wires to tbe
drops, without any ill effects, while
inauy others after wearing them a few
days are troubled with sore ears; in
other words, the acids contained in the
perspiration of some persons are suffi
cient to act upon the b 'a.ss. There are
persons by whom jewelry of any grade
below 18 karats fine would be tarnished
in a few days, and if such persons were
to condemn all jewelry they thus tar
nish as brass, they would do great in
justice to the jeweler r 'These are ex
treme eases, it is true, but there are
many persons who cannot even wear
iron or steel about them without causing
it to rust by tbe acidity of their per
spiration.
A Hundred Years Ago.
One hundred and ten years ago .
was not a single white man in Kentucky,
! Ohio, Indiana, or Illinois. Then, what
I is now the most flourishing part ol
: America was as little known as the mys
: terious country around the moon, "it
| was not until *1776 that Boon left his
! home iu North Carolina to become the
; first pioneer settler in Keutuc iy. The
first pioneer of Ohio did not settle un
til 20 years atfor. ( ana a belonged to
Fra ncc, and the population did not ex
cee l half a million of people. A hun
dred years ago the great Frederick of
Prussia was performing those gycat ex
ploits which have made his name im
mortal in military annals, a’d with his
little monarchy was sustaining » single
con'est with Russia, Austria and France,
the three great powers of Europe com
bined. Washington was a modest Vir
ginia Colonel, and tbe great events in
the history of the two worlds in which
these great but dissimilar men took
leading parts were then scarcely fore
shadowed. A hundred years ago the
United States were the most loyal part
of the British Empire, and on the po
litical horizon no speck indicated the
struggle, which, within a score of years
thereafter established the great Repub
lic of the world. A hundred years ago
there were but four newspapers in
Bmerica ! Steam-engines bad not been
imagined, railroads and telegraphs had
not entered into the remotest conception
of men. \Ye come to look back at it
through the vista of history, we find
that the century just past have been al
lotted more important events in their
bearing upon the happiness of the world,
than almost any otter which has elapsed
since the creation.
—<s N 1
Cat Parody on Poe’s Raven.
Tbe local editor of the Mantezuma
(Iowa) Republican appearsto have a
great horror of cats and admiration for
the style of Poe’s “Raven.” Witness
the following poetic effusion :
The other night while we lay muring,
and our weary brain confusing o’er the
topics of the day, suddenly we beard
a rattling, as of serious hosts a battling,
as they mingled in the fray. “ What
is that ?” wc cried, upstarting, and into
the darkness darting, slap! we ran
against the door. “ Oh, ’tis nothing,”
Edward grumbled, as o’er a huge arm
chair we stumbled, “’tisa b ig, and noth
ing more.” Then said we, our anger
rising (for we thought it so surprising
that a bug should thus offend) —“ Do
you think a small nsect, sir, thus would
all the air infect, sir ! No, 'tis not a bug
my friend.”
Now, becoming sorely frightened,
round our waisQour pants we tightened,
and put on our coat and lut—-when in
to the darkness peering, we saw with
trembling and much fearing the glaring
eyes of Thomas Cat Esq. With aston
ishment and w< nder we gazed upon
this sen of thunder, as lie sat upon the
floor—when resolution taking, and a
rapid movement making, 10, -vre opened
wide the door. Now clear out. we
hoarsely shouted, as o’er head our boot
was flouted. “Take your presence from
my fl or.” Then with air and mien
majestic, this dear creature, called do
mestic, made exit through the door.—
Made bis exit without growling, neith
er was his voice howling, not a single
word he said. And with feeling much
elated to escape a doom so fated, we
went back to bed.
Their Influence Upon Man.
It is better for you to pass an even
ing once or twice a week in a lady's
drawing-r< om, even though the conver
sation Is slow, and you know the girl’s
song by heart, than in a club, a tavern,
or the pit of a theater. All amuse
ments of youth to which virtuous wo
men are not admitted, rely on it, are
deleterious in their nature. All men
who avoid female society have dull per
ceptions and are stupid, or have gross
tastes, and revolt against what is pure.
Your ciub swaggerers, who are sucking
the butts of billiard cues all night, call
female society insipid. Poetry is un
inspiring to a yokel; beauty has no
charms for a bliim man ; music docs
not please a poor beast who docs not
know one tune from another; but as a
pure epicure is hardly ever tired of
water, sancey, and brown bread and
butter ; I protest I can sit for a whole
night talkjng to a well-regulated, kind
ly woman about her girl Fanny, or her
buy Frank, and like the evening’s en
tertainment. One of tbe great benefits
a man may derive from a woman’s so
ciety Is that ho is bound to be respect
ful to her. The habit is of grea* good to
your moral men, depend upon it. Our
education makes of us the most emi.
nently selfish men iu the world. We
fight fur ourselves, we push for our
selves, we yawn for ourselves, we light
our pipes and say we won’t go out, we
prefer ourselves, aod our ease ; the
greatest good to man that comes from
woman’s society is that he has to think
of somehody to whom he is bound to be
constantly attentive and respectful.—
Thacker ay.
Tincture for Wounis.—Take a
handful of the flowers of St. Johnswort
and digest them in a half pint of recti
fied spirits, then dissolve in the liquor
1 drachm of aloes. 1 of myrrh, 1 of
dragon’s blood and j ounce of Canada
bah am. This tincture is about the same
we buy at the drug stores, but at a
much t less cost. Use for cuts and
wouuds
Mr. Ztdfjst is now a citizen of
Cleveland. His ceme, as will bcse<n,
was invented by a Welsh idiot vith
delirium tremens.
A captain remarks that bis steerage
passengers ought not to be very well
behaved, they have so much deck o’er-
W'
h
cause he
The coming
square of sandpapv.
When a Maryland v
“ accafortus ” is it any worn*
patients die on his bauds ?
It is apparent to a parent that .
great many children get on the wrong
track because the switch is misplaced.
Somebody wants to know how
much longer the people are to be
robbed. Can’t tell. Congress has
not yet fixed the date of its adjourn
meat.
An Ohio Baptist says : “ Brethen,
I’ve tried nigh en to forty years to
serve the Lord and get rich both at
onet, and I tell yer, its mighty hard
sledden.”
A Digger Indian girl was seen on
New Year’s Day in a redingote,consist
ing of an old army overcoat, and her
dazzling neck was cnciroled by a string
of tomato cans.
j
One can judge something of the pa
tience of Hoosiers from the statement
of an Indiana paper that tweuty men
handled over thirty-five cords of wood
to get a rabbit, whieh escaped after all.
A Floridian heard the other day, for
the first time, the story of David and
Goliah, and he became so enthusi
astic that he swung his hat and call
ed out : “ Bully for the fellow with the
sling.”
The Danbury News states that a New
Haven editor spent last Sunday iu Slaw
son and atten ed church. When the
contribution-box cauie around he was
in a doze, but, on being nudged, hastily
exclaimed, “I have a pass.”
A teacher was trying to inculcate
sentiments of patriotism in the hearts
of his pupils, and finally asked : “Is
not our country dearer to us than any
other land under heaven ?” “ You bst
your boots it is 1” shrieked a little six
year-old.
“ Well, Mrs. Duff, and how do you
feel this morning ?” “Oh, purty well,
th ink ye, Mrs. Roach ; but I’m afraid
my old man’s ailin’—he don’t beat me
half so much as he used to, and when
he does, his fist falls very week indeed,
poor man.”
There is no immediate prospect that
the family of Smiths will become ex*
tinct. The other day a Cairo hotel
register showed the arrival of John
Smith, wife and 20 children. They
are on their way to Texas to grow up
with the country.
Talking about upsetting sleighs,
Wicks remarked to a young lady ho
was taking out to drive, “ I always pick
out the softest place I can when I upset
my sleigh.” She replied, “ Why, I
should think it would grow monotonous,
always falling on your head.”
A few days ago a very handsoue lady
entered a dry goods house and inquired
f>r a “ bow.” The polite clerk threw
him Self back and remarked that he was
at, her service. “Yes, but I want a
buff, not a green one,” Was the reply.—
The young man went on measuring
gouds immediately.
Some chap out West,who has evident
ly *• been there,” says : “ After several
years uv reflcklion I have come to the
kouklusion that the three most diffikult
things in life are—lst. Carryin’ armful
of live eels up a steep hill without spil*
lin’ an eel ; 2d. Aktin’ as a referee at a
dog fight without gettin’ mad ; 3d. Ed
ditin’ a newspaper.
A young man from the rural districts
asked a friend at a ball—pointing to la
dies with low-necked dresses : “ Ie that
the fashion now?” “Oh,” replied the
friend, ••those ladies are rising into an
gels, and angels, you kuow, don't wear
dresses; but it is no use for you to
stand watching, for it isn’t probable
they will rise entirely, though, before
the dance closes ”
Muggins was walking one day with a
friend, when he observed a poor dog
that had beeo killed lying in the gut
ter. Muggins paused, gased intently
at the animal and said : “ Here is an
other shipwreck.” “ Shipwreck !
Where?” a-.ked his frieud. “ There is
a bark that’s lost forever,” replied Mug
gins. His companion growled, and
passed on.
A late writer on kissing very proper
ly remarks that the abominable fashion
of ladies kissing each other is a piece of
wanton cruelty ; a sheer waste of Heav
en’s good gifts; a miserable frittering
away of what was designed for better
purposes. It is absolutely wicked and
ninety-nine cases in a hundred it is
done for no other purpose than to annoy
aud make wretched the poor things wha
stand with their hands in their pockets
and dare not so mueh as open their wa
tering mouths.
There once lived a goo# natured
poor man who was known to the neigh*
bors by the simple name of “Jimmie.”
He was engaged to cut some wood, and
was on hand at an early hour to makes
full day. It so happened that the lady
intended visaing a friend that day, and
at noon she said to Jimmie, “ Will it
make auy duferenee to you if you eat
j your dinner and supper now, ac I am
| going off to spend the day ?” “ Oh, no,’
was the answer. So Jimir.io rent in
i and commenced his attack ou the food.
After satisfying his appetite the lady
j saw him with his axe going to the gate,
i “ Where are you going?” asked the la
dy. “ Going home,” was the answer.
1 “ Jimatio never works arter supper. *