Newspaper Page Text
by FREEMAN & BRO.
lue CaUwrni iimtf.
A. Woman’s Love.
Buried in a purple sea,
Wrapt in yearning mystery,
A precious gem awaiteth thee.
All of dream- and beauty wove,
Fatooms deep it lieth; love,
Wouldst thou have thy treasure trove?
Worth the laurel crown of sages,
Worth a million pilgrimages,
Stronger than tbo rock of ages.
Shining in hope’s heaven ; worth
Every radiant dream of earth,
Worth a heavenly after birth.
Heaven guards it safe for thee,
Ever growing richer, rarer;
Ever glowing freer, fairer.
Till fruitions time shall come ;
Till ’tis folded to its home ;
Cherished, shielded safe from harm.
Wouldst thou now the pearl-gem claim,
With the shrine from whence it came ?
Shall I whisper thee its name ?
Softly, lest some zephyr near
Should the precious secret bear
To the loud-longued Wind King’s car.
Tt is Love! Tt waits for thee,
Shrined within that boundless sea
Called by Heaven—Eternity.
Take the gift—’tis mine to give;
All mint own, for ii I live;
Take it and I’ll never grieve;
For its richness burdens me ;
All its wealth I yield to thee
numbly, gltdly, willingly.
Born of trust, its life must be
Still to trust in thee,
Leaning on thee yearningly.
Resf/it on thy heart, my love;
Shield it, cherish it above
Barest joys thy dreams e’er w'ove.
Borrow iog| Trouble.
By all means, borrow all the trouble
ywi can ! If you cannot borrow enough
by day, fclt’np nights ami get somebody
to help you !
You will have crowsfeet at the corn
ers of your eyes by the time you are
twenty five, and you will need a wig at
thirty, bvit never mind 1 there is a sat
isfaction ia knowing that] .trouble has
done it!
Always be on the lookout for some
thing to happen. Full half the troub
les of tlmjiifj are purely imaginary, and
the more you worry, the livelier will
your imagination become.
You know the story of the little girl
who was found crying before
the mouth of the family oven, which
v;as being heated for Thanksgiving sac
rifices? When asked by her mother
what was the matter, ]shc replied, be
tween her sobs:
p i\‘- Oh. in a]! I wasYh inking ’what if I
should grow up. and get married, and
have a little baby, and the hot oven lid
should fall down on it—boo Fhoo !
DOW ! OOW •!”
Well, there are thousands' 5 of people
in this world just like this little gill.—
They are op the look out for hot oven
lids.
f >ov thing terrible is continually star
ing ut them in the future. They ex
pect the cholera every year. They
shrink up and shudder at the thought
of a comet. They expect tc be struck
by lightning every time a cloud passe
over the sun. They never go to bed
without expecting to be murdered be
fore morning. If the cat gets shut up
iu thefpanfcry, they are sure burglars
are in the house.
They are continually looking for fits
of sickness; and believing that 'an
ounce of prevention is worth a pound
of cure, they employ preventives, and
their houses smell of onions, camphor*,
harts-horn and whisky, in about ] equal
parts. Kate Thorn:
Sayings of Spurgeon.
Spurgeon sententiously expresses a
number of thoughts, “worth remember
ing” in the following appropriate sen
tences, which he published as “ advice
gratis
Nobody is more like an bonesfc man
than a thorough rogue.
When you see a man ;vith a great
deal of religion displayed in his shop
window, you may depend upon it, he
keeps a very small stock within.
Do not choose your friend by bis
looks; handsome shoes often pinch the
feet.
Do not be f}nd of compliments ; re
member “ thank you, pussy, and thank
you pussy,” killed the cat.
Don’t, believe the man who talks the
most, for mewing cats are very seldom
mousers.
By no means put yourself ia an
other person’s power; if you put your
thumb between two grinders, they are
very apt to bite.
Drink nothing without seeing it ;
sign nothing without reading it; and
make sure it meaus no more than it
says.
Put no dependence on the label of a
bag, and count money after your own
kind.
In any business, never wade into wa
ter where you can’t see the bottom.
See the sack open before you buy
is in it, for he who trades in the
dark asks to be cheated.
Keep clear es a man who does not
value his own character.
Good Language. —Young people
should acquire the habit of correct wri
ting and speaking, and abandon as ear
ly as possible any use of slang words
and phrases. The longer you put this
the more difficult the acquirement
°* correct language, be passed in its
nbuse, the unfortunate victim will most
probably be doomed to talk slang for
hie. You have merely to use the lan
guage which you . read, instead of the
slang which you hear, to form a taste
in agreement with the best speakers and
poets ia the country.
Cdtjoim tOcehlii Simcs.
[For the Calhoun Times.]
Watching and Waiting.
Everybody have their sorrows ! Some
may be only petty grieves— others bit
ter and deep as the mighty blue ocean.
When the days are dark and dteary.and
the sky of our life seems overcast with
clouds, black and impenetrable, we weep
tears of anguish over the grave of shat
tered hopes—hopes that row seem only
cherished idols of the by-gone shadowy
past.
Where is the fire of ambition that
was so brightly burning, and our high
aspirations that we cherished so fondly?
The fire has gone out and ail that re
mains a smouldering heap of dead ashes;
but out of the dim distance a figure
arises, clothed in spotless robes of puri
ty ; it is the bright gladsome figure of
sunny-haired Hope, saying, “Watch and
wait,” for the days will brighten —the
clouds that now seem so dark and dense
will be dispelled by the genial rays of
the sun.
Watching and waitnig ! Ah ! many
of earth’s chains have been severed
while the weary pilgrim looked for the
happiness that never came; but the
tired spirit, free from bondage, passes
over the dark river to another world tj
receive its reward—the glittering crown
of immortality. KiTTF Clyde.
A Colorado Editor Interviews a Chi
naman.
We asked him if he didn’t want some
advertis’ng done. lie stopped work
long enough to say that he charged a
dollar a dozen without ironing. We
explained that it wasn’t washing we
wanted, but advertising. We told him
how much his business would be
increased, how he’d be richer than the
King of the Sandwich Islands in three
months, if he’d only advertise. Thi
seemed to be clear to him, and his face
brightened up as he said : “ Business
belly slow; nobody got no ni >ney.”—
We calmly took out a paper at that.—
We carefully explained to him all ibout
fifteen cents a line—one of these things
clear across here every time the paper
was printed. The people,we fold him,
would read this and then come to him
for washing. He took a deep interest
iu the whole story, and paid marked at
tention to our few remarks. “ You see,
Mr. Hong Lee,” we said, thinking he
was getting along first rate in English,
“this is a paper —this here” (putting a
finger on it). “When people read they
rush off frantically and buy of every
body whose name they see in the paper.
Do you understand ?” lie said he did.
and wanted to know how many pieces
we had—whether they were big or little.
We felt discouraged. We had worked
hard for half an hour already, and he
all the time thinking that we were talk
ing about washing! With an impre
cation on the whole race we went over
the whole story again, even going so
far as to figure out to him how many
papers we printed and how many we
expected to print. He was all at ten*
tion as before, but when we stopped for
breath he spurted water on a batch of
clothes through his teeth, and then said,
as coolly as a mummy,that if we brought
the cFthes on Monday he would have
them done Wednesday.
Little Children.
I am fond of children. I think them
the poetry of the world—the fresh
flowers of our hearths and homes; little
conjurers, with the “natural magic,” in
voking their spells what delights and
enriches all ranks, and equalizes the
different classes of society. Often as
they bring with -them anxieties and
cares, and live to occasion sorrow and
grief, we should get on very badly with
out them. Only think if there was
never anything to be seen but grown
men and women. How we should long
for the sight of a little child. Every
infant comes into tho world like a de
lighted prophet, the harbinger and her
ald of good tidings, whose office it ia to
“ turn the hearts of* the fathers to the
children, and to draw the disobedient
to the wisdom of the just.”
A child softens and purifies the heart
warming and melting it by its gentle
presence ; it enriches the soul by new
feelings, and awakens within it what is
favorable to virtue. It is a beam of
light, a fountain of love, a teacher
whose lessons few can resist. Infants
recall us from much that engenders and
encourages s ilfish. less, that freezes the
affections, roughens the manners, indu
rates the heart; they brighten the
homes, deepen love, invigorate exertion,
infuse courage, vivify and sustain the
characters of life. It would be a terri
ble world, I do think, if it were not
embellished by little children.
—— ~«d ■»-
Why a Child Lovhs SuctAit.—
the craving of a child for sweet is well
known to be one of the most imperious
of their appetites. It has reference
probably to that ceaseless activity which
characterizes the age of childhood. It
may be that sugar performs in their
systems the part enacted by fatty sub
stances in the bodies of adults. As it
undergoes oxidation —is burnt up, cir
culating with the blood —it may be the
source of the power which enables them
to keep in motion from moring to night.
Besides this, it is known that it ren
ders easier and more perfect the di
gestion of the albuminous food upon
which their growth depends. In re
spect to these offices it is, therefore,
nearly essential to their well being.—
And yet how strong, for generations,
has been the prejudice against sugar!
Under what difficulties and in the face
of what discouragements and protests,
’have our children obtained the luxury !
Home anp School.
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15, 1874.
Home Music.
Cultivate singing in the family. Be
gin before the child is yet three years
j old. The songs which you love and
; with which you are familiar—bring
; them all back to your memory, and
j teach them to your children. Nearly
| all children sing ; they sing almost as
I surely as they talk. Nothing enlivens
| a crowd of little folks as much as a
song. You will see the irfant toddling
a whole street after a ballad singer, and
going info raptures wheu it hears a fid
dle or au organ.
It appears pent up within itself and
vainly tries to express the emotions of
the soul in song until the inward fire—
for want of proper suel —dies. Then
sinking to a lower level, falls into miss
chief, if not actually evil inclinations
Think not, ye who have the care of
children, that your efforts iu this direc
tion will be soon forgotten. It may not
occur to your mind that you are teach
ing that which the remembrance of may
be loved and cherished years after you
have ceased to be a witness of their ac
tions—but our own experience teaches
that such is the fact. Many a time and
often in the very whirl of business; in
the sunshine and gayety of life some
little tiling wakes up the memories of
youth—the old mill, the cool spring,
the shady tree by the little school house
—and the next instant we almost see
again the ruddy cheek, the beaming
smile, the expressive eye of schoolmates
that wc loved—many of whom now
u )ie silently mouldering in the grave-”
And anon the song tny mother sang,
springs unbidden from the lips and
smooths and sweetens all these memo
ries.
Even among the crushing mishaps of
business, a merry ditty of the olden
time comes suddenly to the mind, we
know uot why, or by what impulse—
breaks in upon the unpleasant train of
thought, throws the mind in another
channel, light breaks in from behind
the cloud in the sky and anew courage
is given us.
The honest man goes singing to his
work, and when the day’s labor is done
and he is on his way home, where wife,
children, tidy table and cheerful fire
sides await him, he cannot help but be
happy and express this feeling in song.
Oh ! where behold a : more lovely sight
than a family, linked by the tender ties
of nature and love, in unity exercising
this heaven born power.
No wonder the mind unconsciously
steals back to such scenes. No wonder
that the eye fills with tears when mus*
it ' upon such memories. They are
gone —alas! to rer n no more.
On the other h‘ nd he w* "e soul is
never stirred by the sweet strains of
music, wo in imagination can see him
with face elongated and heavy heart,
plod reluctantly to his dwelling, where,
upon his approach the shadow of re
serve spreads darkness around kind the
little folks shun his presence as though
he was their enemy. The burglar nev
er sings ; moody silence, not the merry
song, weighs down the dishonest trades
man, the perfidious clcik,the unfaith
ful servant, the prejured partner.
True, not all adults sing, or can be
taught to sing. Disuse of the vocal
chords in childhood, will doubtless inca
pacitate an adult from singing—his
throat will become like a withered arm,
beyond recovery for actual use. And
he must necessarily remain destitute of
that,power which links the present to
the past and binds the various members
of the race in an indissoluble bond.
It has been said that a man cannot
familiarize himself with “ things of
beauty” without receiving into his
heart part of their beauty. We ven
ture to say that he who gives music its
proper attention will find his own fire
side a pleasure giving spot.
Newspapers.
The advantages of well conducted
newspapers are great and various,though
mauy of them are gradual, distant and
unperceived by the superficial observer.
There are many abuses and much evil
in every society.which no law can reach,
and no sanctuary too sacred for their
unhallowed invasion; the press only can
reach them. By the press, unprincipled
and designing men are prevented from
preying upon society, and the good and
virtuous are placed in power. By the
press, vice and misdemeanor are ferret
ed out, and their deformities exposed to
the glare and abhorrence of mankind—
and virtue and piety, with all their na
tive loveliness and beauty, are present
ed in the most fascinating manner, and
held up to the admiration and practice
of an admiring world. By the press,
parents and children are taught the
news cf the day, and reminded of the
duties they owe to one another, to so
ciety and to their country. By the
press, they are at the same time, made
acquainted with books, with human na
ture, and with the history and politics
of their country, and are inspired with
ardent love aud veneration for the land
which gave them birth. By the press,
our independence was consummated,and
by encouraging support to an unrestrict
ed press, can our liberties alone be pre
served from the concussion of anarchy.
Labor of Life. —There i Q a peren
nial noble and even sacredness in work.
Were he never so benighted, forgetful
of his high calling, there is always hope
in a man who earnestly works ; idleness
alone is their perpetual despair. Bless
ed is he who bas found his work ; let
him ask no other blessedness. He has
a work ; a life purpose; he has found
it and will'follow it! Labor is life;
God given force, the sacied, celestial
life essence breathed into him by Al
mighty God; from his inmost heart
awakens him to all nobleness, to all
knowledge “ self-knowledge,” and much
else so soon as work fitly begins Car*
lisle.
Maxims of Cardinal De Retz.
Some of the most celebrated apho
risms ever given to the worid are those
iof Jardinai De Ile’z. Asa writer the
fame of l)o Retz rests upon the “ Mem
oirs.” a “ most striking and brilliant
work.’’ But his maxims have their
, value, as the reflections which a great
and able man formed from long experi
ence and practice iu great business.—
This was Lord Chesterfield’s opinion,
and he adds, “ They are true conclu
sions, drawn from facts, not from spec
ulation ” We subjoin a few of them :
“ Weak men never yield at the prop
er time.”
“ There are no small steps in great
affairs.”
“ I am persuaded that greater quali
ties are required to form a good party
leader than to form an emperor of the
universe ; and that in the order of the
qualities which compose him, resolu
tion should walk hand in hand with
judgment—l mean heroic judgment,
the principal use of which is to distin
guish the extraordinary from the im
possible.”
“ Upon men of small understanding
nothing makes so deep an impressiou as
what they do not understand.”
When fear rises to a certain height
it produces the same effects as temer
ity. Fear never applies the proper rem
edy.”^
“We should never play with favor ;
we cannot too cleseiy embrace it when
it is real, nor fly too far from it when
it is false.”
“ A man who mistrusts himself nevs
er truly confides in any one.”
“ Men never believe others can do
what they cannot do themselves.”
“ The effects of weakness are incon
ceivable, and I maintain that they are
far vaster than those of the most vio
lent passions.”
“ I have remarked that ill-founded
enmities are ever the most obstinate.—
The reason of this is clear. As of
fenses of that kind exist only in the
imagination, they never fail to grow
arid swell in that receptacle, too fruitful
in evil fancies.”
“ To common place people the extra
ordinary appeara possible only after it
has been executed.”
DARWIN OUTDONE.
Rev. Caesar Cole’s Lecture 4< De Fust
Original Man.”
Breddren and sisters : As dis am de
fust ob rr.y coase of lectors, I perpose to
kommence at de berry fust ob de begin
nin. Dc fust question what stars yu in
de face am dis: “Wuo is yer ? Whar
did yer cum sum at de start?” Now,
I’m gwine to discuss dis question on
bofe scripteral and scientific pints, as
appozed to de late Darwinniun theorem.
We is told dat after de form bekurn void
den de good Lord made all de creepiu
tings, and den de anamiles. W *l! den,
hat next ? Dare must be someboddy
fur tu make dem wile beasts behave
demselves. Now, I ask, was de monkey
de man fur de situashun ? No, my
hearers. He rnout hab coco
nuts at em till de cows cum home, and
dey wouldn’t have been wuf a cent. So
much, don, far dat pint.
But Mr. Darwin sez de fLzicle forma
shun is de same, and dareforo rigiaal
man vruz a babboon. Now, rite here,
breddren, I takes groun agin Mr. D.,
an if you plese we’ll site de debblc wid
fire. Sciunce agin sciunca. Follee me
close now, breddren, fur dis is a bery
itclish pint. If we is all monkeys, II
ask in de name of all dat’s rite and rea
sonable, whar iz dat tale dat orfc to be
long to bofe cle speshies? I mean, my
sisters, whar is dat longated eontinera
shun of de spinal vertiba ob de back
bone—dat —dat—perhensile extenshun
ob de spinal colluo?, what gibs de mon
key de power to make a suspenshun
railroad bridge ebry time he wants to
cross de creek.”
I to 1 yu, mi derr breddren and sis
ters, we hasn’t got it, we never has had
it, and thank de Lord, we will never be
boddered wid it. But I must be breaf.
Hopin dat dese remarks will hab the ef
fect to make you all men and wimmen
tink more ob yourselves, I will cloze ;
but before Brudder Boles pass de hat
round, I will make de nouucement dat
I will deliber mi 2nd lectur at dis place
on de eomin Sundy on de bery vitle
subjec : “ De primeble fust cauz ob de
kuliered man.”
Saturday Night.
How many a kiss has been given—
how mauy a curse —how many a caress
—how many a look—how many a kind
word—how many a promise has been
broken—how many a loved one lowered
into the narrow chamber—how many
a babe has gone from earth to heaven
—how many a little crib or cradle
stands silent now which last Saturday
night held the rarest treasure of the
heart.
A week is a life. A week is a histo
ry I It marks events of sorrow and
gladness, which people never heard
Go home to your family, erring wan
derer ! Go home to the chair that
awaits you, wronged waif on life’s
breakers 1 Go home to those you love,
man of toil and give one night to the
joys and comforts fast flying by.
Leave your books of complex figures
—your dingy office —your busy shop !
Rest with those you love, for heaven on
ly knovs what the next Saturday night
may bring you 1 Forget the world of
care and battles of life which have fur
rowed the week ! Draw close around
the family hearth ! Saturday night
has awaited your coming in sadness, in
tears and in silence. Go home to those
you love, and as you go back in the l ived
presence, and meet to retura the love
embrace of your heart’s pets, strive to
be & better man and bless heaven for
giving his children so dear a stepping
stone in the river of the eternal, as
Saturday night
Snow Bound.
A correspondent of the San Francis
co Chronicle, in an account of the re
cent snow blockade, says : “It would
be hard to fitly describe the beauty aud
grandeur of the scenes which presented
themselves from Alta to Emigrant Gap,
The fiercely driving snow, the wild,
rugged scenery, the noise and clatter
and din of the powerful machines which
were forcing their way through the
howling blasts, the piles and piles of
snow which ascended on either side of
the track, shut out all view for miles,
save when on some embankment over
which the plow had hurled its fleecy
furrow, were ail the grandest of sights.
The only wonder is that the plow was
not crushed into sawdust. It not only
stood this enormous stain, but it kept to
the track aud cut an eleven foot pas
sage in the drift with the precision of a
surgeon’s knife. With the power so
increased the plow cut its way through
to Emigrant Gap. At one point near
there the spectacle was magnificent
On a sharp curve on a steep embank
ment the snow had been piled up to the
very height of the smokestacks of the
engines for a distance of 1,000 yards.
The curve was so situated that it was
in full view of the station at the gap.
The weather had cleared off and the
moon shone brightly on the snow. In
the distance, slow forging ahead, were
the eleven black and begrimmed levia
thans, while iu front of them was the
great plow, throwing up snow in huge
masses like ocean billows and rolling it
down the mountain sides thousands of
feet into the yawning chasm below.—
The smoke aud fire from eleven fun
nels, the tops of which could just be
seen above the drifts, t he horrible noise
and din of the puffing steam,] and the
great glaciers being thrown high in the
air and tumbling down the mountain
side, ail furnished a scene which but
those who have witnessed it can ever
appreciate.”
Here and Hereafter.
Two glorious futures lie before us;
the progress of the race here, and the
progress of the man hereafter. Histo
ry indicates that the individual man
needs to be transplanted in order to ex
ceed the past. He appears to have
reached his perfection centuries ago. —
Men lived then whom we have never
yet been able to surpass, rarely even to
equal. Our knowledge has gone on in
creasing, for that is a material capable
of indefinite accumulation. But for
power, for the highest reach and range
of mental and epiritaal capacity iu ev
ery line, the lapse of two or three thou
sand years has shown no sign of in
crease or improvement. What sculptor
has su r passed Phidias ? What poet
has translated HSschylus Homer, or the
author of the book of Job ? What de
vout aspirant has soared higher than
David or Isaiah ? W oat States
man have modern times produced
mightier or grander than Pericles ?
What patriot martyr truer or nobler
than Socrates ? Whereiu save in mere
acquirements, was Bacon superior to
Plato ? Very early in our history, in
dividual men bear their wingsj’against
the allotted boundaries of earthly do
minions; early in history God gave to
the human race the types and patterns
to imitate and approach, but never to
transcend. Here, then, surely v.e see
clearly intimated to us our appointed
work—viz : to raise the masses to the
true standard of harmonious virtue and
capacity; not to strive ourselves to
overleap that standard ; not to put our
own souls or brains into a hot bed, but
to put all our fellow men into a fertile
and a wholesome soil.
Some Weather Signs.
M. Quad enumerates the following in
“ Our Fireside Friend,” as among the
most reiiabic weather signs :
If the pear trees blossom before'the
20th of March, and you notice the
cows and horses rubbing themselves
against the meetinghouse door, and the
top rail of the fence casts two separate
shadows,*it argues well for the coming
wheat crop.
If the clouds all move one way du«
ring November, and big girls go bare
foot, and tin peddlers are numerous, and
your wife wants s new pair of shoes,
and plum tr s grow the most branches
on the west side, the new year will be
prolific of thunderstorms and lightning
rod agents.
If pumpkins are first frost-bitten be
fore they turn yellow, and house rent
goes up, and catnip tea has a bitter
taste, and saw logs show an inclination
to roll up-hill, the potato rot is sure to
fo'low.
If there are high winds in February,
followed by warm rains, and cattle re
fuse to lick salt, and red-headdd girls
are conspicuous, July will be a cool
month
The latest thing in dolls is a young
lady of tinted wax, who, when wound
up and givon a high chair at the table,
reaches but her arms, seizes a bit of
bread, and slowly puts it in her mouth.
When she has done this a certain num
ber of times it is necessary to open her
back, remove the food, and wind her up
again. Would that human beings
could be relieved of indigestion in this
way.
A newly married lady at Uadfkld,
N. J., “just for fun,” hid a toy snake
in her husband’s boot a few days ago.
The result of the joke was somewhat
peculiar. The husband, on discovering
the reptile first took a critical look at
himself in a mirror, and then, going
to a closet, seized h ; s demijohn and
turew it far out into a neighboring
pond. "
A trouulesome relative —A touth
that ? 3 akin.
Rowing for tbo Girl he Loved.
A young man of this city, being at
an up-river towu a few days ago, t >ok
a skiff to row to the next towu down,
stream. About the time he put out he
noticed a man and wo oau in a similar
boat on the opposite side of the Ohio,
the man puliing with all his might
down stream. The Evansville youth
did not want to be beaten by a man
who had a load while he had au empty
shift, so he bent liiuise f to his work
with great energy. Row as hard as he
might, the oarsman on the other side
kept ahrad of him, until the young
man made up his mind there was some
thing wrong with the current, and he
tried to cross.
This seemed to give additional ener
gy to the oarsman, whose “ feathered
aor ” was plied with such a will that he
gained sensibly, and our Evinsviller
dropped back, but still kept the couple
in sight.
After half a day’s row the single
oarsman stopped at a town, rested and
did such business as he found, and took
the next steamer for home. On the
way Jown the steamer was hailed, and
the couple from the skiff got aboard.—
The young man, after a short time, ap
proached the champion oarsman and
remar ed : “ Well, you beat me, didn’t
you; but l tried hard to get ahead ”
“ Thunderation I” exclaimed the man.
“ Was that you a pullin’ after us. I
tho't it was Lize’s dad, an’ I jest lit in
with all my might, but it’s no use now,
stranger, aa’ I wouldn’t row that hard
even es the old man was to heave in
sight.” —Evansville (hid ) Journal.
All Sorts of Mind.
There is a strong in men
of opposite minds to despise each oth
er. A grave man cannot conceive what
is the use of wit in society; a person
who takes a strong common-sense, view
ot the subject, is for pushing out by
the shoulders an ingenious theorist, who
catches at the slightest and faintest
analogies ; nud another man, who scents
the rediculous from afar, will hold no
commerce with him who tests exquisi
tely the fine feeling of the heart, and
is alive to nothing else ; whereas talent
is talent, and mind is mind, in all its
branches.
Wit gives to life one of its best fla
vors; common seuse, leads to immedi
ate action, and gives society its daily
motion, large and comprehensive views,
its annual rotation ; ridicule chastises
folly and imprudence, and keeps men in
their proper sphere; subtlety seizes
hold of the fine thread of truth; anal
ogy draws away in the most sublime dis
coveries ; feeling paints all the exquix
ite passions of man’s soul, and rewards
him by a thousand inward visitations
for the sorrows that come from without.
We must despise nosort of talent; they
all have their separate duties and uses,
all the happiness of man for their ob
ject; they all improve, exalt and glad
den life.
Boys, Ilced This!
Many people seem to forget that char,
acter grows; that it is not something to
put on, ready-made, with manhood or
womanhood; but day by day, here a
little and there a little, grows with the
growth and strengthens with the strength
until, good or bad, it becomes a*most a
coat of mail. Look at a man of busi
ness, prompt, reliable, conscientious, yet
clear-headed and energetic. When do
you suppose he developed all these
qualities? When he was a boy? Let
us see the way in which a boy of ten
years gets up in the morning, works,
plays, studies, and we will tell you just
what kind of a man he will make. Tbo
boy who is late at breakfast and late at
school, stands a poor chance to make a
prompt man. The boy who neglects
his duties, be they ever so small, and
then excuses himself by saying, “I for*
got ! I didn’t think !” will never be a
reliable man. And the boy who finds
pleasure in the suffering of weaker
things, will never be a noble, generous
kindly man—a gentleman.
As sotnr people cannot fathom the
meaning of the term “1 Deal enterprise.”
a contemporary defines it as follows for
their benefit : “If you can think of
anything that can build up or beautify
your city, go and do it; don't fight it
because you pay your share of the ex
pense, keep your capital at'home; pat
ronize home institutions; help your
own merchants so that they may sell
cheaper ; always get your work done in
your own city, if possible subscribe and
pay for the newspapers, don’t steal or
borrow the reading of them. If you
follow these suggestions, and your city
does not improve and build up it will
not bo your fault.
A Sad Truth. —The rose of Flori*
da, the most beautiful of flowers, emits
no fragrance ; the bird of Paradise, the
most beautiful of birds, gives no song ;
the cypress of Greece, the finest of
trees, yields no fruit; dandies, the shi
niest of men. have no sense ; ball
room belles, the loveliest creatures in
tb« world, *rn very often ditto. Perfec
tion exists not under the sun.
A little girl ran out to meet her
father, as he was on bis way home to
dinner yesterday, exclaiming : u Pa. I
declare somebody has broken kitty all
to pieces.” An examination disclosed
the fact that fourteen little Thomases
and pussies had been added to the feline
family.
The difference between having a tooth
properly drawn by a profostional surgeon,
and having it knocked out misccllaneou
ly by a fall on the pavement, is only a
slight distinction —one is dental and the
other accidental.
VOLUME IV. —NO. 37.
FUN ITEMS.
The first law of gravity—Never kugh
at your own jokes.
Whisky is said to be the horn ot
plenty, because it will corn you copious*
S J.
1 he man who spit tobacco in tho eye
of a dog belonging to na lowa justice
waa fined $7 for “ contempt of court.”
An undertaker's shop in Philadelphia
recently bore the following cheerful in
scription : “Gone for a dead man—back
soon.”
An eloquent editor thus describes a
new organ : “ The swell died sway in a
delicious suffocation, like one sinking a
sweet song under the bed elothea.”
A Detroit paper noting the fact thst
a man lately dropped dead while cumb
ing his hair, says, “And yet there are
persons who will persist in the danger
ous habit.”
A Philadelphia shoemaker has the
following sign conspicuously posted in
his shop : “ Never get in debt to your
shoemaker, and then you can call your
soul your own.”
A pack of wolves in Sherbonrne
county, Minnesota, chashed a couple of
lawyers five miles, and the New Orleans
Republican thinks it showed a lack of
professional courtesy.
A plumber had an Irish lad in his
employ, and one day, having occasion
for a piece of zinc ordered him to get
one twelve inches square. “ Yes,” said
Pat, “twelve inches square, but how
long ?”
A little girl, aged about three years,
wandering into the undertaking estab
lishment of Sadler & White a few days
since and pointing to a small coffin,
said, “ That what you die little girls in,
ain’t it ?”
The editor of a New York child’s
paper received a letter from a lady sub
scriber, recently, in which was written:
“ Our Annie died fast week, after read
ing the last number of your valuable
paper.”
“Is the old man any better?” asked a
boot black of a newsboy at Detroit the
other day. “ Better,” echoed Jim I
should say he was 1 You ought to have
seen him slinging stove wood at mother
this mornkig.”
A consequential young fop asked an
aged country sexton if the riuging of a
bell didn’t put him in mind of his lat
ter end. “ No, sir,” replied the grim
old grave-digger ; “ but the rope puts
me in mind of yours.”
When tho ladies of Tullahoma, Ten
nessee, began singing in front of a liq
or store, the bar keeper set out a bottle
with a fuse attached and lighted it.—
Fearing it might be powder or Jersey
whisky, the ladies retreated.
A gentleman, having bought a pair
of geese, asked the selfer why he was
so unwilling to dispose of one alone.—
“ Why, sir, they have been constant
companions £>r twenty-five years, and I
had not the heart to part them.”
A drunken Irishman was found by
his friends the other night lying iu the
snow with his heels on the fence, warm
ing his toes by the moonlight. He was
muttering : “What a oowld fire ye have
got, Biddy, darlint; have on some car
rysano or my futg will fraze.”
“ Well John, did you take the note
I gave you to Mr. Smithers?” “Yes,
sir, I took the note, but I don’t think
he can read it.” “Cannot read it ! Why
so, John ?” “ Because he is so blind,
sir. V b.ile I wor in the room he axed
me where my hat wor, and it wor on
my head all the time.”
Tn a country town in Illinois, a few
evenings since, at a panorama of the
Bible, a little eight-year-older sat wrap
ped in admiration at the scene until the
picture of Jacob and Rebecca at tbs
well appeared, when he looked np and
said : “ Pa, do you see that picture ?
I’ll bet $5 they are grangers.”
An exchange tells ns that “ Mr. Pal*
mer, of Saratoga county, New York,
swallowed four false teeth the other day,
and seven or eight wise doctors are
gradually killing him in the effort to
get them up.” Why don’t they tie a
rope around a small sized dentist and let
him down there with a grab hook ?
A young man, who left Brooklyn
three years ago to “go West and grow
up,” has just been heard from. He
writes home to his friends, from Idaho,
saying that the country is the most
beautiful the sun ever shone on.and the
inhabitants the most sociable he ever
met. Also, that he expects to be hang
ed in about fourteen days for stealing a
mule.—A rgut.
In a rather heated discussion one
evening of an insanity case, the alleged
lunatic having been placed in an asylum
by his wife and friend?, a gentleman
said to a lady who did not believe the
unfortunate man was insane. “ What
do you say madam, to his lying on
his back in the barn yard nnd allowing
the hens to feed off his body ?” “ All
you can make of that,” responded the
lady, “is that, like many other married
men, he was hen pecked.”
An Earnest Farmer —A philo
sophical clerk, being out of aji b, took
up with an offer from a farmer. The
first night on the farm.he slept so sound
ly that the call before breakfast, with
subsequent rappings on his door, failed
to arouse him. About 10 o'clock he
came lounging down stairs, when the
disgusted farmer sarcastically inquired:
“Won’t you have a glass of wine?”
“No, thank you. I never take anything
early in the day,” was the yawning re
ply., The agriculturist fainted.