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CALHOUN WEEKLY TIMES. By D. B. FREEMAN. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. One Year $2.00 Months 100 Ten copies one year 15 00 Subscriptions payable in advance ■, a nd at the expiration of the time paid for; unless previously renewed, the subscriber’s name will be stricken from our bobks. Communications on matters of pub lic interest solicited. Labor: An Ode. BY a. W. B. Toil swings the axe, and forests botv ; The seeds break out in radiant bloom, Rich harvests smile behind the plow, And pities cluster round the loom, where towering domes and tapering spires Adorn the vale and crown the hill, Stout Labor lights its beacon fires, And plumes with smoke the forge and mill The monarch oak, the Woodland's pride, Whose trunk is seamed with lightning scars, ( Tori launches on the restless tide,, And there unrolls the flag of stars; The engine with its lungs of flame, And ribs of brass and joints of steel, from Labor's plastic fingers caihe, With sobbing Yaltc and Whirling wheel. Tis Labor works the magic press, And turns the crank in liiVes of toil, And beckons angels down to bless Industrious hands on sea and soil. Here sun-browned soil, with shining spade, Links lake to lake with silver ties, Strung thick with palaces of trade, And temple towering to the skies. the myrtleville Vandal: It commenced by Mrs. Sawyer’s arri val at Mrs. Muffit’s early in the fore noon, evidently in a state ol‘ great ex citement, and full ol news. With an air of profound mystery, she d.rew Mrs. Muffit from the wash tub to the sitting room, and said to her “ What do you think has happen ed ?” Now Mrs. Sawyer was well knowil iri Myrtleville as “ newsy,” as one who lost no opportunities of collecting the most reliable and startling items of informa lion regarding the sayings and doings of the Myrtievilliaris. Accordingly Mrs. Muffit prepared her mind for tidings of the moment. . What is it?” asked she, drying her hands on her apron and settling down in a chair for a “ good talk.” “ You’ll not tell I told you ?” “ .lever.” “ Because it wasn’t intended for me to hear. 1 just happened over to Mrs. Seymour’s this morning, and Mrs. Kito 1) was in there, and the door stood open, and 1 couldn’t but hear what was said, you know, and —” “ But what was it ?” cried Mrs. Muf fit, as Mrs Sawyer paused for bicath. “ Fred Seymour and Belle Grainger has eloped. l ” “ VAO9A 1” “ Mis. Seymour was just telling Mrs. Kitely as I went in. As soon as they nw me coming, they began to talk about the news in the morning’s paper; hut you can't throw uie oft the track in that way.” “ Oh, my goodness!” cried Mi’s. Muf fit. suddenly, as if some inspiration had seized her. i . i ■ ‘ you’ve heard something, too,” fried the wjdow. “ No, but I saw Belle Grainger this morning, quite early, pass by here in |lie.direction of the depot, and she had on her traveling dress and her water proof, and carried her satchel.” “ Going to meet him on the eight o'clock train. Oh, the sly, deceitful thing. Think of her .poor father.” And her sick mother. It is awful, •nd everybody knows Fred Seymour is n.: good as engaged to Susy Bel • /! ’i . “ There ! I’ll go right over to Bel knap's” cried Mrs. Sawyer. “ Some body ought to break it gently to poor Susan. Poor girl. No wonder they went off slyly.” And away hustled Mrs. Sawyer to find Mrs. Belknap and Susy in the sit ting room, sewing. It was a keen sat isfaction to tell the news there, for Mrs. Belknap, being in delicate health, and possessing ample means, kept a servant and lived in a style of refinement that Myrtleville generally condemned as “ putting on airs.” To take her down a peg, as Mrs. Sawyer mentally re solved to do, was a vulgar triumph she enjoyed greatly in anticipation. But it was in anticipation only, Mrs. Belknap and her daughter received the news in a quiet way as it the gossip possessed no special interest to them, asking no questions and manifesting no chagrin. The story had grown a little on its ,vay through Mrs. Muffit’s sitting room, and Mrs. Sawyer had now a full description of the runaway bride’s costume, and the train was specified upon which the young couple traveled. But after Mrs. Sawyer bad gone to take her news elsewhere, Susy turned a very pale faeo to her mother, asking pit ifully : “ Oh, mamma, can it be true ?” “ I will go over to Mrs. Seymour’s, dear, if you wish it.” “ Not for the world. If it is true, we must never let any ony know we feel it,” and her lips quivered. “ For tunately, no one knows we are actually engaged. If it is true ” “ It seems to come very direct,” said ''.is. Belknap, as she drew her daugh ter in a close, motherly embrace. “Mrs. .Sawyer is a terrible gossip and busy body, but I never knew her to be guilty of absolute falsehood.” “ Mrs. Kitely is very intimate with Mrs. Seymour. I have heard Fred say ♦hey were schoolmates. So it is quite natural for her to he telling Mrs. Kite bo and speak of something else when Mrs. Sawyer went in.” l ' 1 can scarcely believe it of Fred, Mrs Belknap.” ‘‘Nor I. And Belle too, who has . en my friend so long, and her only interest in Fred, seemed to be in his ,? V( ‘ or me. Oh, mother, I can’t be lieve it.” . In the meantime the story was spread ing from house to house, gaining a little ere. and a little there, as it was repeat !r : Mrs, Gray had seen Fred Seymour j 0 ! r io ln direction of the depot at * fast seven, and it did not seem to Y jUr to gossips that, as his busi- €«ll|cm« UhcMn «ime*. VOL; V. rj —T— —r - • ~~T\ —-- 7 nes3 was iu New York, this- Was a sight of daily occurrence. Another one had always thought Miss Grainger’s quiet, modest manners covered a deceitful heart. Some pitied Susy; some con gratulated her upon her escape. The young couple were discovered to have every fault the imagination of their rc cusers coulc summon up; and Mrs. Belknap and Mrs. Seymour shared the odium and pity with. Mrs. Grainger, who certainly should have attended more strictly to the education of her daughter, and given more careful moral training. , , 1 -• Every mother in Myrtleville wa3 pi ously thankful it was not her girl who had disgraced hciself; and the daugb: ters, as a general rule, secretly wished they had had Miss Grainger’s chance, for Fred Seymour was decidedly a beau in Myrtleville, and his mother was known to have a ptoperty from her late husband that would make the young man independent when, in the course of nature, it reverted to him.— He was engaged on one pf the Jn.ily evening papers of the great metropolis, and considered talented and. Upright, a man who in tiine would make a name and position of honor. His attention to Susie Belknap thotigh the fact of their engagement had not yet been published, had been too marked to escape the no tice ol eyes so prying as those possess ed by the good people of Myrtleville, and his inconstancy was a matter of maryej as Susie was a maiden whom any than might have been proud tc win. Wlun the four o’clock train crime in, Mr. Grainger, a little nervous man, all excitability, was amazed at the sympa thizing faces which greeted him on tho platform. A chill like death seized his heart. For years his wife had been an invalid, suffering from spine complaint. Had she died while he was away ? White as a sheet he turned to a friend standing near, saying : “ Why do you look so at. me ? What is the matter at home ?” “My poor friend, have you heard nothing?” , . A choking sensation came over the loviHg husband, but he struggled against it, saying : “ Quick, tell me ! Is it Mary ? * “ No. Mrs. Grainger is as well as us ual, I believe ; but there’s a very sad story to break to you regarding your daughter.” Wrath took the place of terror. “ My daughter !” cried the. little man furiously. “ Who dares to carry stories about my daughter ?” “ Well—you—see,” stammered his friend, the woileti folks say she eloped this morning with Fred Sewnoftr. ,l Fred Seymour ! Why, he’s head over ears in love with Susie Belknap ; my Belle ! Why, she’s been engaged for two years to Lieut. Weston of the navy, though we did not publish it for the benefit of all the tattlers in Myrtleville.” “ I am afraid,” was the reply, that, it was the fact of these engagements that drote them to secrecy a elopement. “ I tell you the Whole story is false !” roared the excited father. “ I’ll make these mischief makers eat their own words ; uiy Belle, indeed ! They must be crazy.” But on his way home, Mr. Grainger met the report in so many places, heard it ih stich plausible versions, that he en tered his wife’s room with a very grave face, from which all angry excitement had vanished. . .• , “ Where is Belle ?” .lie asked. “ She went to New York this morn ing to do some shopping. She will stay at her Aunts to-night.” “ Did young Seymour go up on the same train ?” , “ I suppose so. He usually goes at eight, aod that was the train that Belle took ” Ho was on the point of telling his wife the whole story, but on second thought he restrained the impulse.— Sure in his own fatherly confidence in his gentle, modest child, that there was some mistake admitting of explanation, he said nothing. After all, it was a subject of congratulation that none of the busy bodies of Myrtlcville had in vaded the sick room, and he easily made some trivial excuse for going out again, lie was determined to sift the gossip thoroughly before alarming the invalid, and his visit was to the telegraph office at the railway station. “Is Belle at your house ?” flashed over the wires, and was carried to a handsome house in the city. “ Yes. Will bo down on the next train,” was the answer ; for poor Belle imagined there was death or frightful illness to cause her father’s message, when a v'sit to her aunt’s was such a common occurrence. Satisfied on this point, her father quietly Waited until the train came in, walked up Maine street with his daugh ter bn his arm, left her at home, and started out to defy all Myrtlcville. From house to house he traveled with' exemplary patience, and followed the snake-like coils of tin story, till he faced Mrs. Sawyer, who earnestly as sured him r “ Mrs. Seymour and Mrs. Kitely were in the sitting room as I came in the back way through tKo kitchen. — They were talking, arid just as I got to the door Mrs Seymour told Mrs. Kjte ly that her son and Belle Grainger had eloped. They saw me then, and Mrs. Seymour said very carefully. “ Here are the morning papers, Mrs. Kitely, just to change the conver sation.” “And you rushed off to carry the news all over Myrtlcville,” said Mrs Grainger. “ Well, I thought it must be true from such an authority.” “ 1 tell you I heard her as pltrin as I CALHOUN, GA„ WEDNESDAY, AUGUST lt>, 1874. Hear you now.” “ Telling Mrs. Kitely her son and my daughter bad eloped ?” “ Yes I’d swear it on my oath !” said Mrs. Sawyer, as if there were sev eral other ways of swearing, if she chose to take her eh~ibp. “Suppose you step over to Mrs. Ki'elv’s with me ?” “ Well, I will.” But to Mrs. Sawyers discomfort, Mr? Kitely denied tKc jftc'ry euiireiy. Mrs. Seymour had never given her any such information, either in confidence or oth erwise Mrs. Sawyer tearfully persist ed in her story ; and finally the trio went to Mrs. Seymour’s. The hero of tlia story was by this tims at home eating l.is supper when the visitor en tered. It was an awkward story to tell, but it was told ; and Mrs. Seymour’s face Was a picture of indignant surprise. “I ?” she cried—“ I say my Fred eloped with Belle Grainger ! Why, Mrs. Sawyer, you must surely bedream- Ihg!”. , “You said so. I beard you,” sobbed the widow. Said what ?” “ You said distinctly “ Belle Grain ger ran away with my son this morn ing.” At this moment Mrs. Seymour burst into a fit of uncontrolable laughter, to the great consternation of her audi ence. She laughed till she was ob liged to wipe the tears from her eyes ; when, catching sight of Mr. Grainger’s disturbed face, she said, with sudden gravity : “Pardon me, Mr. Grainger, I see I have most innocently caused you a se rious annoyance. The truth of the sto ry is this : Fred, as you know, has all the morning papers sent to him on the morning train, and many of the neigh bors come in to borrow them. Mrs Kitely always likes to see the Sun, and I save it for bet; but this morning your daughter stopped on h,er way to i the de pot for a paper to read as she rode to the city, and took the Sun. When Mrs. Ivitely .came for the papers I s;tid to her, “ Belle Grainger ran away with my Sun this morning.” “ And all Myrtleville Ins been busy with the scandal Mrs. Sawyer manu factured out of your remark,” cried Mr Grainger. “ I can only hope she will be as active in contradicting as she was :n circulating it.” But to this day Mrs. Sawyer persists in declaring that she can’t see where she wa/ to blame, after all* /'Tny.body, she is quite sure, might have made such a mistake on the same ground. “ Pretty Susy was not long in doubt, for Fred, having drawn from Mr. Srw yer the confesion that ebe “ thought it a duty to tell the Belknap’s the first thing,” hastened over to his betrothed wife, to give vent toi his indignation against all tattlers and mischief makers, and very soon Mr. and Mrs Frederick Seytrfour’s wedding cards put the final Contradiction to the Myrtleville scan dal. Men of Literary Geniusi Tasso’s conversation was neither say nor brilliant. Dante was either taci turn or satirical. Butler was sullen or bi'ing. Grey seldom talked or smiled. Hogarth and Smith were very absent minded in company. Milton was very unsociable, and even irritable when pressed into conversation. Kiiwin, though copious and eloquent in public addresses, was uieagfe and dull in col loquial discourse. Virgil was heavy in conversation. Da ,Fontaine appeared heavy, coarse ahd stupid; he could not speak and describe what he had just seen ; but then he was the model of poetiy. Chaucer’s silence was more a§ r eeable than his conversation. Dry den s conversation was slow and dull, his humor saturnine ahd reserved.— Cornille, in conversation, was so insipid that he never failed in wearying ; he did not even speak correctly that language of which he was such a master. Ben Johnson used to sit silent in company, and suck his wine and their humors.— Southey was stiff, sedate, and wrapped up in cscetitism. Addison was good company with his intimate friends, but in mixed company he preserved his dig nity by a stiff and reserved silence. — Fox in conversation never flagged; his animation and variety were inex haustible. Dr. Bently was loquacious, so also was Grotins. Goldsmith “wrote like an angel and talked like poor Poll.” Buike was entertaining, enthusiastic and interesting in conversation. Cur ran was a convivial deity. Leigh Hunt was “ like a pleasant stream.” in conver sation. Carlyle doubts, objects, and constantly demurs.— The Intcrvinr Loveliness. —lt is not your neat dress, your expensive shawl, or your pret ty. figure that attracts men of sense. They look beyond these. It is the trttelovelr ness of your nature that wins aftd Con tinues to retaih the affection‘s of the heart. Young ladies miss, it who labor to improve the outward looks, w ile they bestow not a thought on their minds. Fools may be won by gewgaws and fasn ionable showy dresses, but the wise and substantial are never caught in such a trap. Let modesty be you? dress Use pleasant and agreeable language, and you may not be courted by the fop and sot but the good and tru'y uveat will love to linger in your steps The result will be your infinite gain. —< »»■ Coleridge says there are four kinds of readers : The hour*glass, whose read ing runs in and out, and leaves no trace of gain. The second, like the sponge, takes everything. The third retains only refuse that someone would throw away. But the fourth, like the miner among gems, keeps the gems and casts away the clippings. With Rfegare to the Grasshopper. Gomes this way now on lifted wing with fiery lightnings in his eye and the cereal crops of six counties of Minnes ota in his crauncbing teeth, the wi and, unbridled grasshopper, of the West. A jerky bird is the grasshopper. He folds himself tip like a jack-knife releases himself like an arrow from a bended bow, propels himself over large spaces and subsists oiLtfle botfntiy . he covers. When he alights upon the field tlje far mer looks for his crop, and behold like the giasshopper which has passed, he has antennae. For sociability and gregariousness there are few wild fowls like the grasshopper. He moves in battalions of company [ront. and wher* ever there’s ones tlierriare a million. — Standing oh the grouty, his knees ov erlook him like a stepladder, and his tout ensemble is that of an overloaded whae'barrow. He ha? the unbounded stomach of a weekly story, paper for ce reals, and when he ha§ cleared up the standing crops of the county or State, he skips to the next, picking his teeth as he goes, and there gathering himself in mass convention, he.follows the fash ion of the time and “ points with pride” to the record of the past. . The youth of our country call him iudiffer ently the grasshopper |nd the hopper grass, and say “ Shoo ”at him as he goes by. The hardy Utah pioneer gently untangles the legs of him from his hair and and covers him with a No, 13 bopij tiro guest at Town send’s Hotel in. Salt Lake City hears him through all the silent watches of the night rush tnto the window as ore who has been sent for from afar, and drop with a thud into the wash bowl ; and the Digged Indian gathers Him in trenches and barbecues him for the noonday meal. And this way he cooielh. The hour when he shall appear in one immens moving column at the upper end of Fifth avenue, and take up his march down Broadway with a platoon of mounted polioe in faint, and an escort from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, no one can tell.— Let us not speak unkindly of the grass hopper. He has his faults; but who has not ?—New York Tribune. Fallen Majesty. Eagles are subject to diseases, flesh, bone, and blood, just like the various poultry that die of croft p and consump tion on the dunghill before the byre door. Sickness blinds the eye that God framed'to pierce «*d weakens the wing that dallies with the tempest. Then the eagle feels bow vain is the doctrine of the divine right of kings. He is hawked at by the mousing owl, whose instinct ins.trnets him that these talons have lost their grasp and these pinions their death-blow. The eagle lies for weeks famishing iti his eyry, and, hunger-driven 6vcr the lodge, leaves it to.ascend no more.. He is do throned, and wasted to mere bones—a bunch of feathers; hG flight is now slower than that of the buzzard ; he floats himself alone: now with difficulty from knoll to knoll, pursued by tpc shrieking magpies, buffeted by the corby, and lying on his back, like a re creant, before the beak of the raypn, who, a month ago, was terrified to Hop round the carcass til! the king of the air was satiated and his permission to croaking sooty to dig into the bowels he himself had scorned. Yet he is a noble aim to the fowlef still; yoft break a wing and a leg, and fear to touch him with your hand ; your dog feels the iron clutch of his tabus constricted in the death pang, and holding him up, you wonder that such an anatomy —for his weight is not more than three pounds—could drive his claws through that shaggy hide till*blood sprung to the blow.— Christopher North in his Sport ingjaebt. PreseU ation of the Teeth. In studying the cause of decay of teeth Leber Rottenstein made various exp -r --irnents to determine the action of acids on dental tissues. It was found that ac ids make the enamel which is naturally transpa,raDt, first white obaque and mil ky, and the dentine more transparent and softer so as to be cut with a knife.. The acids which mavirtually effect the first changes in the pr. luqt’on of carries, are such as are taken with food or in medicine, or such as are,formed in the mouth itself by soflie abnormality in the secretions of by an acid fernientatiorf sis food. But acids alorie, says the “ lan cet,” will not account for all the phe nomenon of carries of the teeth. They play a primary and principal part, ma king the teeth porous andsott. In this state, the tissues having lost their nor mal consistence, fungi penetrate the canaliculi of both the enamel and the dentine, and by their proliferation pro duce softening and destruct effects much more rapidly" than the action of acid alone. It is not pleasant to think that fungi exsists in the mouth of all but the verv cleanest of people. The means ordinarily employed to clean the teeth has no effect on these parasitic growth, while water appears to destroy them The great means of preserving the teeth, then, sav.l “ Lancet,” is to obsei ve the most scrupulous cleanliness of the mouth and teeth, and to give to the rising liquids & slightly alkaline character, which is done by the admixl ure of a little soap. — Galaxy. Looking Guilt? —-Notbiug can be more absurd than the idea that “ look ing guilty proves guilt. An honest man charged with dime is much more likely to blush at the accusation than the real offender, fvho is generally pre pared for the evi nt* and has his face “ ready made ” for the occasion. The very thought of anything criminal will bring the blood to an innocent man’s hecks in nine times out ot ten Sent at the * nh*e- It was but a short time ago. between Zanesville and Columbus that, the train stopped at a small village, not a hun dred miles from the former place. The conductor crying out, fifteen minutes for dinner. The passengers of vt-hom there hap pened to be a large number, rushed in to the dining apartment and took their soafs at the table, one of them deposi ted his carpet bag in the chair next to him At the usual time the landlord passing around to make his collection, called upon the aforesaid passenger for his payment for dinner. How much,? says the passenger Eighty ceuts, replied the landlord . Eighty cents for a din net ? why that is extortionate. No sir, it is not extortionate. Aint that your carpet-bag ? Yes sir, that is my carpet-bag. Well that carpet-bag occupies a seat and of course t must charge for it. Oh !is that the case ? Well, here is your eighty cents. Turning to the carpet bag, the pas senger rema iked: Welly. Mr. Carpet bag, as you have not had much dinner, suppose we take something, at the same time opening its mouth, and turning therein half a ham, a roast chicken, a plate of crackers arid sundry other ar ticles, amid the roar of laughter of the other passengers. The prevailing opinion among the passengers was. that the carpet-bag won. Wanted to Knock Somebody. I went into a Philadelphia bookstore the other day for the purpose cf pro curing a copy of Christopher North’s well known Nodes Anibrmiancte. The first person I encountered was a red haired clerk, to whom I said : “ Have you Nodes Ambrosia nut?" “Wh wh-wh-what d’ you say ?” he asked with mouth and eyes wide opeji. “ t call and to ascertain if you have Nodes Ambrostaiieop. /” “ I don’t exactly—that is, I don’t under knocked his what’d you say ?” “ I say that I understood that you had Nodes Ambrosiancoe. If you haven’t why don’t you say so at once ?” “ I don’t know what you mean, i never did such a thing in my life.” “ Perhaps you don’t understand me. I wish to sec if you have Nodes Am brosiancoe. Christopher North’s Noc tes Ambrosiancpe.” “O, lib has, has he?" Ifffs knocked his what you call it, has he ? Well, I don’t care a cent if he has. You’ve come to the wrong shop. You must be crazy. Your mind seems to be Unhing ed ; you haven’t —” (breaking of? sud denly and addressing a clerk in the rear ft the store). “ Say, Bill, here’s a feller that’s foolin’ around here want in’ to knock somebody. Get a police man quick.” j Then I left and hunted up another emporium of learning.— Max Adder. Reer ami Cigars at Elections; A curious election case was recently decided at Baltimore. At a primary election of one of the political parties, the voters were supplied with beer and cigars, under a Contract made by ah in teresting politician with the proprietor of a drinking saloon. Suit for the amount of the bill hating been brought against the politician, the court decided that such a contiact could not be en forced, because the treating of voters had a .corrupting .influence . arid., was against public policy. In conclusion, the judge said : “ These primary elec tions, however, although they are not prescribed by Jaw, pre recognized aqd sanctioned by it, for the act .of 18G7 makes it the duty of the board, of po lice commissioners to preserve order at primary meetings and elections ; in fact, they Have grown to be a part of our political system. Imperfect-and unsatisfactory and liable to gross abuse as they are, they constitute almost the universal mode by which candidates everywhere are brought before the peo ple for their suffrages. If they are tainted by fraud or corruption, our po litica, institutions are contaminated at their source.” The Two Sexes. —There is nearly always something of nature’s own gen tility in all young women, (except, in deed when they get together and fall a uigling). It shames us men to c ee how much sooner they are polished in con ventional shape than onr.rougii mascu line angels. vulgar, hoy requires, heaven knows what assiduity, to move three steps, 1 do not say like a gentle man, but like a boy with a soul in him ; but give a girl the least advantage of society tuition to a peasant girl, and a hundred to one but she will glide into refinement before a boy can make a bow without upsetting a table. There is a sentiment in all women, and that gives delicacy to thought.and taste to manner ; with men it is generally required, an off spring of the intellectual quality, not as with the other sex. of the moral. Nearly Proverbs —Many a mans vices have at first been nothing worse than good qualities run wild. When the tree is fallen every mango eth to it with his hatchet. To a gentleman every Woman is a la dy. in the right of her sex. ' Diligence is a fair fortune and indus try a good estate. s A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market. ~ ty . , s . Whenever the speech i'3 corrupted, so is the mind. may fe'e of interest to the lovers ot the weed, to km>w that the yield of to* bacco in Virginia will be small and not of good quality. The Xamber of Types in a se#spaper. The Poughkeepsie Eagle, in hii article on '• How mistakes happen in news papers/' figures up the number of types u ed in a newspaper tHefcize of the jfea gle at 000,000, the dct-ual nuuib’er nfbits ot metal arranged and rearranged every day in preparing a newspaper the sire ofthe'Eagle forjhe press. W.e Suppose few people thiuk of the printing tnde as the mcst exact and particular business, but it is. In making type, variations that ui’ght be allowed in the machin ery of the finest would render ihe type useless. It is seldom that type furnished by two separate foundries can be used together without a good dea! of trouble, though they try it after the samp stnn dat'd. We read onee in a while, u£ a wonderful piece of cabinet work or mo saic work, containing ten, twenty or fifty thousand pieces, the maker of which has spent some months or oVen years of la bor in producing it, arid people go to see it aq ; a grept curiosity,, but the most ela borate and carefully fitted piece of work oi this kind ever made does not compare with that which the printer does every day,. The .man w.ho does the first is looked upon as an artist—a marvel of skill, and if a hundred of his pieces are put in wrong side up, or turned the wrorig way, is not,observed in the,gene ral effect—but if the printer in fitting ten times as many pices together in the same day, puts one where another should be, or ttirhs one the wrong way, every body sees it and is amazed at “ the stu pid carelessness of those stupid printers ” The Widow of a Honaparlel There is a narrow, ugly street in Ral more, where woman rrtrely comes, W one is often scan there. It is the shape of a little old yvoman, that sallies from a boarding house on the' cornet, less of ten recently than it used—a feeble, tot tering frame, and a wizened, wrinkled, face, wigged and spectacled. The old lad y uses her attendant’s arm for sup port, afic passes, apparently without no tice, the groups of talkers that stare or point her out to a StraUggr If some of the more deferent salute f!er, she straightens for a moment, anl returns it with a touch of thq old grace that wrought her fame and her misfortune. She is not a celebrity of to-day ; her story stretches back full sixty years, to the days when a handsome pusillani mous exile married her on his own ca price, and repudiated her at the beck of a brother ; lor she is Madame Jerome Bonaparte, as she Iras always proudly styled Herself, once the wife, row the widow, of Jerome Bonaparte, King of Westphalia. Beautiful, brilliant and aristocratic Miss Patterson married him, then an unknown stranger, against the wishes and council of all her friends.— She s how,old and peciiliai, Her son Jerome, who never saw bis father, is now dead, but his widow and child—a third .Jerome, with Unmistakable Bon aparte sac living in Baltimore. A Pointed Hint! . ~ A story is told qf a couple of farm ers who lived not a, great distance apart, oiie of whom was noted for being very penurious. One day his neighbor call ed upon him while lie was eatjng din ner, but instead of asking him to sit down to the table with him, he kept on eating and talking, just as though the visitor had not a mouth in his head. “ Well what is tlie news, neighbor Brown ?” “ Nothing much.” . “No news vp yniir wav, el ?” he asked, Still helping himself to bis good dinner while his neighbor looked on with anxiety and appetite. “ Well, yes, now that I .think on’t there js just a grain of news. Mr Jones’ cow has got five calves,” replied the visitor... , !v . • ; -Five calves! I rierer heard of such a thing. Why, what the dickens doqs the fifth one do wherf the other four are sucking , .. . : Vfhy, ho stands end looks on like a duuib fool, just as I am doing now.” “ Oh, ah ! Hannah, put on another plate.’* „ v. - Tiif. following story which tel's how General Jackson got the title of “ Old Hickory,” is related by Captain Wil liam Allen, a near neighbor of the Gen eral, and who messed with h:m during (he Creek w.ar. Daring the campaign the soldiers were moving rapidly to sur prise the Indians, and were without tents. A cold March rain came on, mingled with sleet, which lahted for several days. General got a Severe Cold, but did not cotnplain as he tried to sleep in a muddy bottom aui mg his half-frozen soldipfsf Captain Allen s( nd his brother. John qUt down a stout hickory tree, .peeled off the bqrk. and made a covering ,for the Genera!, who was with difficulty persuaded to crawl into it. The next morning a drunken citizen entered the camp, and seeing the tent,, krck< and it over. As Jackson crawled from the ruins the toper cried, “ Hello, Old Hickory ! come out of your bark and jine us in a drink.” Chinese Maxims. —t. Let cyery man sveep the snow from his own dpor, and not b i?y himself about the frost on his neighbor’s tiles. ». *, q.... 2. Great wealth corner ly destiny ; moderate wealth by industry. s ... 3. The ripest fruit will not fail into your urolith. * • . «< . 4. Tlie,pleasure qf dqing good is the only one not wear out. o. I*ig a well before you are thirs ty. . . , G. Water does not remain,, in , the mountains, nor vengeance in a great mind. It is ridiculous to be serious about rifles. ADVEfITISINO H VTK3. IfeST 1 Tor eneh square of tc*i tines or less, for.the fint inwrtion, and for each sub sequent insertion, fifiy cents. Mo.Sq’r* J \ .vi* M<»-». / ( ~fr •" T' 1 jins r. rwo i 3}-«-•'» k ? ;.i*» V • 1 2.1* » i **uio Four ** j r \ column J 0. h d [ 15.00 i 25.1*0 I 40.tX) * “ } 1 j.OO f 24.00 j 40.00 <*>.oo 1 •• | ‘26.00 ji 00 06.00 115.00 — — : ——* - - - -- -* B*ST TVn lines of solid brevier, or* its equivalent in space, make a square. NO; I A*rdrs* The original greenbacks—frogs. g M hat beats .1 good wife '! A bad husband. , - M e should never speak of ourselves, either good or evil. f *r - •» i % * *1 1 .«r A mar may be great Uy ciunnce, but never wise r.or good without taking pains. • t % J f *• llefttsal. ui> the patios a husband to push the baby-wagon Sundays is to be made the ground for a divotce. *+ i if' * ii No per sou ever got stung 'with Bor-* nets who kept aw.iy from where the? were. It is so with bud habits. • *»'.'• • 1 * l BetUr count the Cost be fore .you niako pleasure your business, or you will bo apt to make your journey through a funite! into a very small vessel. i ic- ! • ' ♦ 4 “ Loojc ’ere now, Saiusha,” yelled a (Jluy.cognty woman to the oldest girl, “ don’t ,betid over that well so fur You 11 tall in,there some of these davs, and then we’ll have to carry weter!” \Vhat a cevere. critic is time! i With what a ruthless hand 110 blots .out tho praises of mortals! How quietly he shuts down ,his extinguisher, upon lights that, the world said would never tro out! . 6 J. * . , The N. V. World, with a boldness nos of earth, denounces Theodore Tilton as a “ koprophagous !” Great and eternal goodness ! As poor an opinion as ■ate pf t(hc man, ( we could never have suspected him of that. .1 j > ii ! ' ' '■ , T,here is nothing exquisite in the Y ankee s reply, tp the European travel* er: when asked, if he had just crossed the Alps; he .replied,-- j, • “ YVqalj my attention tp the fact. I gue.°s I did pass a little risiu' ground.” , | ‘ \ . 5 ' * • A man iti Covington made a bet, the other day that he could drink a pint and a halfof Cincinnati whisky in tw«lvje hours. He won the J^et; and his widr ow remarked at the funeral the day that it was the first money he had earned by hard work in ten years. ♦ ! * I* A lady of remarkable conversation powprs approached a medical friend With : “ Hr. S t-, l havo a. very sore tongue.” “ Let me look at ii,” says the doctor. The unruly member was duly protruded, /’lt is sunburnt, madam, sunburnt,” remarked the doc tor. } t ? - •• 1 •! A gentleman who camo soverol thousand miles to view Texas with the purpose of ptfijehasing, got a large-sizei ed red ant on him, and, stranger as he was, he cavort,ed around and used as appropriate language as if lie had liyeyj there all his life, and moved in the best of society. One English dinner in the unexper ienced American stomach will produce that r|igllt-r-gjgbt beafjvwith calico tails, eleven giants wit-h illuminated headsj on,?, awful dog vHth .t.wejvc, legs, and fourteen bow legged ruffians chafed by host of piracital.cauliflowers mounted on saddles of beef rosted. , * .> ; « 1 : •• -j** ft t t After many days of arid de-siextion, the vapory captains marshaled their thundering hosts and poured out ,upou scorching humanity, a.the thoroughly vegetation a few inches of apuaphuiali*” and that is the wny in which a western journal descri' es the advent of the recent rains. Not many yc;irs a Hartford man was drowned, apd friends brpught homq the dead tqdy to his afflicted wife. As they came to the front door with thp qorhse, thq new, made widow applied, and sadly remarked : ‘‘l gues»i ypg better take him around to the back door, so he won’t drip on the carpets !”. I : 1. # ■ i I ! I A mat) in lowa according tq she Bur lington who had taken his county paper for twelve years without pacing for it, npon tfic day of his burial life kind hearted, forgving editor. Called tp seo him for the last, and stuffed a lioep dus ter and a couple of palm leaf fpjps in his coffin. He wai preparing him for a warmer climate \ > .-j-j, h .*•’ o. • « A Wystprja philosopher discourses af ter the following wise ; “ Do you .phew gum ?. The price of three pieces ajweek, at one cent apiece, amounts, to SJL a year, or in.sidy-seven years tq That sum will buv a complete St t.of Applq tons Gychpapdia, a marriage 1 scenic, a black bombazine dress for your .a.uqt, a German silver coffin plate, ard a Cut this young man, and jiastq it on the back of your girl’s photograph.” • i * •? t The editor of the Burlrngtpq, (la,A Hawkeye has dicovcrcd a woman who will get ( up at six o’clock, kindle, the firq get breakfast, rout out .the family wash the dishes and sq£ cj;>l.*fcn. sqW; P Jbut-> ton on the neck xf he", husband*? shirt, and hunt his hat, gq to gt mi -ion Sur-j day-school and teach a class, attend church, rush home und, have dinner over aod the. things;cleared away. time for afternoon Sunday-school, re?d the Sun day-school papers tp the children,, go church at night, and talk on her way home about Sunday a3 a “ day of rest.” u Here/low” said a policeman as hp separated two fighting women outon h*y street. “ Here’s enotigh of this what do you mean by it/"“Musha thin,’* said the one with red hair, “ this war the cause of it: Sez she to me, sex she, * That’ a foine morning this morning, Mrs. Muldoqn,’ sez she : sez I to to to her, sez I, ‘ true fur you/ sez I; ‘ Phawt hav yez la yer basket,’ sez she; ‘ Uvpr se,z I;“ It schmells/ sez she, ‘lt don’t', sez l; If do/ sez she ‘ Yer a li ar,' sez I; Yep aether, sez she ‘Phwat 1! ’,»s*. \ ; *.* \V£oop>'!” yez, site apd then come along, an s that, w/* , the cause of it.'